#might add priya as the exception though. she's endearing

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

immortal soul:black survival characters as osp quotes

Adela: Brought to you by... basic arithmetic! It’s not that hard. I’m just stupid.

Adriana: Oh god. Oh buddy. Oh, oh, that is warm. Oh yikes.

Aiden: "I don’t know what I was worried about. She’s hundreds of miles away.” “There you are, you BARBARIAN-”

Alex: A gentleman who insists his name is John Johnson, esteemed doer of job at place.

Arda: Scrooge’s day goes from bad to worse to straight up Silent hill

Aya: Because once you leap over those pesky little speed bumps like the worth of human life, it becomes so much easier to solve your problems by just unexisting the people who disagree with you!

Barbara: THAT’S the story that made Sir Walter Raleigh go “I’ve never heard anything more legit in my entire life, let’s go!”

Bernice: No more joking, if you do this, I will hunt you down and slap you.

Bianca: Every day’s a party in Chateau Dracula.

Camilo: -For suggesting that Robespierre just guillotine everyone. Thought the sarcasm was obvious, but clearly he did not catch it.

Cathy: What-ho, fellow humans! Are you enjoying having skin today?

Celine: Or... Or... Blow up parliament!

Chiara: Look no further than- oh, good LORD! Where do you START?!

Chloe: “Heyy, Gregory. Want me to show you where I keep my amontillado?” “Do I?!”

Daniel: JUST MOVE AWAY!

Echion: Because he was basically a giant newborn baby, VICTOR.

Elena: But not just ANY beautiful princess, she’s a LONELY beautiful princess! Plot twist???

Eleven:Maybe they should’ve tried friendship. I’ve heard it’s the greatest treasure of all.

Eva: Crimes against nature 2:electric boogaloo

Emma: What an excellent goddamn soap opera.

Fiora: Of all the goddesses you could’ve chosen, way to pick ones who are 100% guaranteed to not be down with it.

Hart: The scariest part of the story is that the plan might’ve worked if the conspirators shared more than five braincells between them!

Hyejin: Well that’s not very zen of him.

Hyunwoo: That’s IT, that’s a wrap, I don’t care, I DON’T care, just let it be over, please, why is this book so much?!

Isol: ‘Cause even in death, Kukulein will ruin your day.

Jackie: But that’s no problem that a little strategic dismemberment won’t solve!

Jan: Overall, Victor’s life is about as good as it can get, except for that one bit where his mom dies.

Jenny: When this suh-sance business was just starting to be renai’d

Johann: Okay so there’s like five absurdities in that story, but THE POINT IS-

JP: Shock! Horror! Not at all predictably,

Laura: She’s pure evil because she lures you in by being hot, but then, like, she’s secretly a person underneath.

Lenox: Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead and the other one is cursed to only speak in spoonerisms.

Leon: What exactly those “base urges” are is literally never described, but given victorian standards of decency, it could be anything from cannibalizing orphans to doing drag.

Li Dailin: Have you considered... NOT studying?

Luke: But good news, sports fans! The mom may be dead, but the baby lived!

Magnus: For SOME. REASON, I don’t know, Lancelot is stupid.

Mai: That is a beautiful, classic, textbook love story (plus or minus a couple murders)

Nadine: So I may not be the sharpest knife in the Caesar,

Nathapon: This is terrible! Awful! We have to do something! ....in 8 to 13 business months.

Nicky: He and his buddy Pandarius, who was blessed by Demeter to never get indigestion- not a joke-

Rio: So Tantalus is a demigod son of Zeus, which at this point is about as exclusive as being left-handed.

Rosalio: And so, King Mithridates died as he lived. Not dying from poison.

Rozzi: Keep trying to shoot people in the head... And they keep... Not getting shot in the head by me...

Shoichi: “Loki, can we not do this? I’ll literally give you all my worldly possessions if you don’t do this.” “That sounds like something a poor person would say!”

Silvia: But Julius had ignored the golden rule of slow and steady gets the spaghetti

Sissela: Oh no, it seems that you have contracted Big Dead! You should... pray about it.. or something.

Sua: Think the lesson here is that the real monster was the english language all along.

Tia: Mysterious color, etc etc

William: “You are having a great time here?” “I’m distinctly not.”

Xiukai: His Highness the king does not have a poison addiction, he can stop any time he wants.

Yuki: The first instance of what I like to call Van Helsing Serious Face.

Zahir: Unorthodox display of hubris but very well.