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foxanddragonbooks · 3 years

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Witchshadow Review and Rating

★★☆☆☆

I have thought about this rating for a long time. This was my most anticipated book of the year and my favorite series. It hurts my soul to rate it low, but anything else would be a lie. There were just so many things I did not like. Of course, there were things I liked, the writing was beautiful as always, Stix’s arc, but unfortunately the positive couldn't outweigh the negative. And I had a lot of negative feelings while reading this book.

The first thing that didn't work for me was the nonlinear timeline. The prolog takes place a few days after the last book ended. That was nice. Then the next chapter takes place one month after that event. That is already too big of a time jump for my liking. Characters were in certain places already, and you don't find out why, how, or when until later on. Usually in a flashback scene. It was so confusing. I want to know why someone is at this place now and how they get there when it happens, not through a flashback. This type of storytelling might work for movies and tv shows, but it's really difficult in books. The flashbacks also felt ill-placed. We already knew this plan went wrong because if it didn’t the character wouldn't be in the position they are in now. It could have just been described in a few sentences, instead of flashbacks that took up several pages.

Second of all, one of the MAIN characters was completely absent. This just doesn't make sense storytelling-wise. At all. He still has so much left to do and there is only one more book left. One 500 page book that is distributed into 6 povs. I really can't see how that's supposed to work. I can see how that character had to be gone for some time, given the events of the previous book, but that could have been solved with the usual 2 week time jump between books. Keeping the main character away for a whole book/movie/series just never works. Remember when Game of Thrones left out Bran for an entire season even though GRRM said that he is one of the key five? This is what this book felt like.

Another main character was barely in the book either. He was there, but he was not himself. He was literally possessed for 95% of the book, so in a way, two main characters were not part of the book.

That brings me right to my next point. Way too much focus on side characters I couldn't care less about. This was supposed to be Iseult's book but it felt more like a Hell Bard book. Again, I don't understand why. They are side characters but they felt so present in the book while other characters that are much more important to the story were absent. I wanted this to be a Nomatsi book. A book about the history of the Nomatsi. Why are they hated? How did they live before they came to the Witchlands? I was so sure that all those questions would be answered in this book but all we got were a few folktales and a history in hell bards. This was supposed to be Iseutls book, not theirs. They are not even that important to the plot and a big chunk of their plot could have been given to maybe the two missing main characters. That would have been pretty epic. The hell bard loom was never mentioned before, Midne, the first hell bard was never mentioned before, but they take up such a big plot in ISEULT’S book? Why? It felt so random. Esme’s loom was important to the story in the previous book, but it was barely mentioned in this one.

And Esme, oh God. This was supposed to be this super powerful, badass villain, and then she is turned into a weasel just like that. It felt so off and weird.

Furthermore, at this point, Safi has more development with the hell bards, SIDE CHARACTERS, than she has with any of the main characters. She had 1 book with Merik, her love interest, 1 with Iseult, her best friend, and 0 with Aeduan, Vivia, and Stix. This is the second to last book. I really don’t understand how she didn’t get to interact with all these important characters more or at all so far.

Things also didn't add up. It's implied that Safi is 18 in this book when she has been 19 for the last two books. Leopold suddenly becomes younger too. In the first book, Safi says he is the same age as Merik, who is 20, now he is 18. Or it is implied that he is. It’s confusing. It doesn't make sense.

There is a very weird scene that borders on romance and made me dread reading further. It's said in the beginning of the book that these characters are thread FAMILY. Thread SIBLINGS. Yet one thinks about the other as very handsome and they are only inches apart and holding hands in a scene. IT'S WEIRD. If they are supposed to be family then why was this scene written? If you consider someone your sister or brother from another mother you don't do this kind of stuff. The Vivia/Vaness romance came out of nowhere.

The Vivia/Stix being thread siblings came out of nowhere and made 0 sense. They were supposed to be the mutual pining childhood friends to lovers ship, now they are family. Vivia was jealous in Windwitch when she thought Stix had slept with someone. This is not sibling behavior! The set up for Vivia/Stix was right THERE and so present! Whereas Vivia/Vaness came out of nowhere. I don’t understand what’s going on anymore. Please don’t foreshadow things that you don’t mean to go through with. I hate this.

To quote Iseult: “Nothing felt real. Nothing made sense.” That sums up the entire book for me. The characters felt so off to me.

Safi comes up with this ridiculous plan to noose the Emperor while kissing him, and OF COURSE, it goes wrong. It was such a stupid plan, and Safi at this part of the story would have never done this. It felt like a step back for her and made zero sense. She is supposed to be smarter than that now.

Iseult felt so off at the beginning of the book, I didn’t even realize it was her at first. She was all ‘I kill people and regret nothing, I am the badass puppeteer, don’t fuck with me’ and then she went back to her old self in like a blink and never returned to her ‘dark self’.

There is a scene where Safi walks into the Emperor’s room while he has sex with his mistress, IT WAS SO WEIRD and uncomfortable. Literally, why was this scene necessary. Like she wanted to steal something from his rooms but she could have done this at night while he was sleeping. While everyone was sleeping.

Safi’s original plan was also to noose Henrick during their wedding night. That was so weird and made me so uncomfortable. He is 3 times Safi’s age, please. Like I get that she honestly believed she would be forced to consummate the marriage, so she thought hmm might as well get my revenge on this bitch then. But when Henrick said he had no intention of taking Safi to his bed, she was not relieved at all? She was like no, no, no, you have to take me to your bed. It felt so unrealistic. Safi is literally a teenager. Any teenage girl would be glad to not have to sleep with a man old enough to be her father. She should have been relieved that she wasn’t forced to sleep with an old man, and glad that that would mean she had more time to come up with a more fleshed-out plan to kill him. And Iseult would have never let Safi go through with her original plan. Never.

This book felt so, so different from the other books of the series that I love so much, and not in a good way. I don’t think I have been so disappointed and upset since the last season of Game of Thrones aired.

I want to go back in time when the main characters of this series were still main characters. At this point, I have so little hope for the last book. Maybe I am wrong, I would be glad to be wrong, but this book feels like a bullet hole in my chest and I am not sure it can be fixed.

#the witchlands #witchshadow #witchshadow spoilers #review #book review #books read in 2021

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silverspark-archived · 5 years

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bnha for series ask...

Favorite character

Sero !!!!???????? Big cc

Second favorite character

miNA MINA MINA !!!

Least favorite character

Midn,,,,ight,,,,

The character I’m most like

KAMINARI I-

Favorite pairing

Krbk and Kmjr are pretty cute,,,,

Least favorite pairing

Baku fucking d e k u

Favorite moment

U know when,,, I haven't seen s4 much but. miNA. When she holds... THE BUNNY,,,,

Rating out of 10q

5/10, It's good but it's still kinda ehhh yaknow??

THNK U FOR SENDING EVA ! ♥️

Send me a series and I'll tell you

#Leah.asks #Eva tag

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archangelgabriellives · 6 years

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In the Beginning: Gabriel’s Past

Chapter 9

AN: I am so incredibly sorry that this took so long to write!! The words just wouldn’t come and I was stuck in a serious writers block. But I’m free now, and I like how this chapter came together. A big THANK YOU!! to @warlockwriter for the quick beta and fining all of my mistakes.

Link to the Masterlist

Rating: Teen

Length: 2500

Warnings/Tags: Eventual Gabriel x Kali, Brotherly affection, Violence, Gangs of humans doing Bad Things, Wolves, Blood, Kissing

* Bacraut translates as Asshole

Next chapter: @nobodys-baby-now

The harsh winter of Asgard passed, as it always does. Thick layers of ice and snow melted away as new life sprouted from the thawing ground. The bouquet of spring hung heavy in the air, danced in the breeze and weaved its way through the city. It lifted the morale of the people of Asgard, called them out into the warmth of the longer days with a smile on their faces and a warm greeting for all who crossed their path.

But not all in the city were in good spirits.

Gabriel sat in his ornate bedroom, alone. On his lips was a deep frown, his expressive brows pinched together and his eyes heavy in contemplation.

The lotus flower in his hand was held delicately between his fingers, dancing in slow circles as he spun the stem. He glared at it, like all the answers he needed could be plucked out of the dark shadows between the petals.

Kali’s gift to Gabriel, or rather Loki, had been preserved, sealed in time and locked in Gabriel’s hidden place with all his most precious treasures. He took it out sometimes, when he was thinking of that exquisite goddess. Or like now, when he was brooding.

Gabriel was lost in his mind, thinking of all the times that he had tried to gain Kali’s favor, of every time she had played along and still ignored his advances in the end. His despondent mood grew deeper at every memory; the world around him could collapse and he would welcome it.

The breeze fluttering through the long gossamer drapes hid the sounds of the feather light footsteps that approached him. They tip-toed carefully, mindful of the clutter along his path. It was rare that they had such an opportunity, Loki oblivious to their advancements, and they were not one to waste it.

They made it all the way to the chaise Loki was slumped on, seemingly without detection. They leaned in close, just a hair’s breadth behind the Trickster, and…

“LOKI!!”

Gabriel jumped near out of his skin at the sudden shout of his Asgard identity as Thor’s howling laughter boomed behind him. He recovered quickly, vanishing the lotus with a flick of his wrist, then twisting his body and glaring at his Asgardian brother.

“Thor, you utter bacraut!”

“I am sorry, dear brother,” Thor said through his laughter. “No, on second thought, I am not sorry. My revenge for all the times you have tricked me was well deserved and overdue.”

Gabriel groaned, rubbing his hands down his face as his suddenly racing heartbeat calmed. “What are you even doing here?” he questioned, adjusting his body so that Thor could sit with him. Which he did, boisterously.

“Too long have I seen you wandering the grounds looking like someone has spit in your meal and demanded you thank them,” Thor half yelled as he dropped to sit like a filled sack. “So I have come to lift your spirits!” A silver goblet was thrust into Gabriels hands, amber liquid sloshing back and forth. “Let us drink, Loki.” Thor raised his own goblet, taking in the last of the drink in a single gulp, a satisfied cry leaving his lips at the taste.

“Began without me, eh Thor?” Gabriel smugly asked, taking a sip of his own. “Ohh, you did grab the good mead, didn't you?”

“I most certainly did.” Thor refilled his cup. His brow furrowed in concentration, and Gabriel let out a small chuckle. “So tell me, Loki, what has been bothering you as of late?” He took another long drink, then leaned in close, eyes bright with his own brand of mischief. “Does it have anything to do with that lovely flower that you hid from me? Perhaps there is another, more...supple flower that you wish to have pressed under your fingers.”

Gabriel grinned behind his cup as he took another sip of mead. “You are far to astute for your own good, brother.”

“I’m smarter than you,” Thor said playfully and reached over to refill Gabriel’s goblet. With a snap of his fingers the cup was filled again, a smirk on Gabriel’s lips. “Always with your magic, Loki.” Thor’s jovial smile faded, and he looked at Gabriel with concern in his eyes. “Please, my brother, let me help you.”

Gabriel groaned as his head fell back to rest on the soft cushions. “Yes, it appears that you are, indeed, the smartest of us both.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand, and eventually pulled the lotus flower from its hidden place. “Kali.”

Even while slightly drunk on the Asgardian mead, Thor looked at the flower with a serious eye. He knew that only a very sacred object could distract Loki well enough to allow him to sneak up on the ever-knowing Trickster. Thor dared not touch Loki’s possession, but abandoned his cup to get a closer look. “It is a lovely gift. A goddess of India gave you this and yet you sulk your days away?”

Gabriel could only look questioningly at Thor. “What do you mean? She has spurned me at every chance. And I have tried so many times.”

“And yet, she still chooses to be in your presence, although my mind cannot conceive of why.”

Thor received a pillow to the face for his troubles. He laughed heartily and threw it back at Gabriel, but it vanished before it found its target, the Trickster not spilling a drop of mead. “Have you tried giving her the heads of her enemies?”

“She already has one,” Gabriel murmured as he took another drink. He sighed as he studied the lotus in his hand again, this precious piece of Kali that she gifted to him. Through the long winter months they had met, found the bonds between their homelands and cultures, built something that Gabriel would call a friendship.

Thor reached over, refilled Gabriel’s cup once again. “Do not worry, Loki,” he said in a soft voice. “I imagine that you only need time. A fine goddess like that simply does not fall readily before the feet of her suitors.”

His brother’s words brought a smile to Gabriel’s face.

“Thank you, Thor.”

The season changed fully into a hearty spring, and Gabriel had convinced Kali to meet him in his homelands. The Norse forests were particularly beautiful this time of the season, the way new life was cropping up around the almost permanent outline of frost was a sight that Gabriel never tired of.

Gabriel was dressed in his finest as they wandered aimlessly through the dense trees. His golden headdress reached high, and his cape flowed behind him. He thought that, maybe, he had overdressed for a woodland stroll, but as he snapped up an ornate fur lined hooded shawl, decorated with fine thread in the colors and style of her home and a billowing red woolen dress to keep her warm, he thought they looked powerful. Any villagers they came upon, as unlikely as it was this deep in the forest, would know right away that they were in the presence of gods.

Kali was walking along a small animal path, pointedly looking away as Gabriel bounced from branch to branch, calling out interesting things as he saw them.

“There, through the clearing,” he pointed. “The does are out with their new fawns.”

“Look at these leaf buds, swelling against the warming air.”

“The owls are up and looking for a meal.”

Kali tried to hide her smile, amused by Gabriel’s lively attitude. She listened intently, though, as Gabriel talked.

As she passed by a low branch, she was startled as Gabriel dropped in her way, hanging upside down in the tree with his legs hooked around a branch.

“You look nice today,” he smiled. “You would think so,” she said back, a playful fire in her eyes. “This is your clothing, after all, Loki.”

“That’s got nothing to do with it.”

A small grin parted her red lips, and patted him on the cheek as she continued along the path. Gabriel twisted his head with her, watched as she confidently sauntered away, lithe fingers brushing against the new foliage as she went.

He flipped himself around easily, his feet landing silently on the soft ground. He didn't move for a moment, just admired Kali as she looked through the trees.

A scream rang through the air.

Gabriel was pulled out of his reverie immediately. He ran to catch up to Kali, who was gazing into the trees, sight caught far in the distance.

“Loki.”

“Yeah, I heard it too.”

Another scream echoed in the distance, and Gabriel took off without another sound. The screams tapered off to whimpers, and Gabriel could feel the fear radiating in them. His feet went faster, branches bending out of his way as he ran. Kali kept the pace, trailing behind him.

Gabriel stopped at the edge of a clearing, saw a young couple surrounded by a gang of rough looking men. The young man had a small knife in his hands, doing his best to protect the woman who was with him. She would let out a yelp when one of the other men reached out to touch her, and her protector would make a desperate slash.

Gabriel was furious.

He raised his hand, fingers together and ready to dissolve those criminals into their base atoms and distributing them to the far corners of the universe, when a gentle touch to his shoulder drew him back.

Kali stepped past him, a new fire in her eyes. The air around her started to waver and ripple, and as she strode into the clearing, there was a snap that only she heard.

As she cleared the trees, she was noticed. The sound of crackling logs could be heard under the evil laughter of the gang.

They looked at her without fear at first, they only saw a beautiful woman approaching them. The men smiled with their crooked grins, nefarious deeds coming to their minds. They started to approach Kali, but as the first wolf rounded her body, snarling teeth bared in anger, they began to worry.

The beast was as high as Kali’s shoulder, with midnight black fur and yellow eyes that seemed to glow despite the bright midday sun. Kali ran her fingers through its fur, heard another sound of a snap, and two more wolves stalked out from behind her. The men started to retreat, they turned to run, but were cut off by more angry wolves emerging from the treeline.

Kali’s grin was positively cruel. “Are you leaving so soon?”

There was a moment of stillness, then suddenly, the wolves pounced, howling and barking. Gabriel bounced from branch to branch, controlling his constructed animals to tear the men apart. Kali set them ablaze, a ring of fire keeping them from escaping. She walked amongst the screaming men, setting herself between the wolves and the young couple. Reaching out, she touched the shoulder of a screaming man as he ran by. His body lit up in a high fire instantly.

The fight ended quickly, the men having no chance against two gods. Bodies lay strewn about, the wolves gnawing on limbs, and the sound of gentle crying filled the air.

Gabriel dropped down from the trees into the clearing, petting a wolf as it came to rub up on him. He smiled at it as he happily scratched its cheeks, giving it a final pat as the wolf pack evaporated into nothing. The soft sobs of the couple called his attention, and he sent a silent thank you to Kali before he turned his attention to them.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he dropped to one knee in front of them.

The man grovelled lower in the dirt, his voice quaking in fear. “Please, great gods, spare us your wrath.”

Gabriel had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at the young man. “Do not fear.” He held out his hand, but the boy did not take it. “We mean you no harm.” The words seemed to calm them, and the young man took Gabriel’s hand and was pulled up, his woman on his arm.

“Loki,” he said, “great God of Mischief, we thank you for saving us. And you as well, Goddess,” he directed towards Kali. She gave him a quick nod, and turned away, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.

“What brings you this deep into the forest? There are many dangers and you seem to be unequipped to defend against them.”

“We've come away from the prying eyes of out village to celebrate. My wife has become pregnant with our first child.”

An idea hit Gabriel, blindsided him, really. At any moment his place in the pagan’s word could be stripped from him, either by his own hand or some other force. He needed to plan for the future.

“Shall I bless your child?”

All eyes were on Gabriel now, everyone of them wide with shock. With a snap he called the St. Gabriel blade from the dimension where he stored it. It had a bit of both of him in it now, the grace of an archangel and the power of a pagan god.

“I shall grant your child a long and healthy life, but nothing comes without a sacrifice. I will come for a favor. It may be many generations from now, but I will come.”

“Thank you, Loki,” the woman spoke finally. “Thank you for protecting my child again.”

With a sympathetic smile, Gabriel reached out and grabbed her hand, brought the tip of the blade up and made a slash in her palm. He pricked his own finger, adding in a drop off archangel blood. A few words were spoken, and the spell took hold. The blood from the cut pooled, then slid across her skin, coming to rest on her wrist. It glowed with power, the woman grimacing with pain, and when the light faded the slash was gone and only Loki's mark remained.

“This mark is your blessing,” Gabriel said. “It will stay in your bloodline until I call for you.”

The couple left, headed back to their village with battered nerves and a wild story to tell. Kali didn't watch them leave. She was more interested in the spattered blood that speckled her body. Her mind sang in the aftermath of a battle, and Gabriel thought she couldn't look more beautiful.

He walked over to her, and in a risky move, took her hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. A small wave of grace washed over her, cleaning the blood and tingling her skin in its wake.

She smiled, and Gabriel smiled back. Kali's free hand reached out, grabbed hold of Gabriel's cloak, and pulled him close into a kiss. Gabriel melted into it, and they remained in the clearing for the day, soaking in the sun and only heading back when it became too cold to watch the stars.

Everything tags

@doctor-zyre @ourloveisforthelovely @authoressskr @superwhoavengelocketc-blog @sumara62 @mscrazycatbitch @emmii4 @redberrysweets @space-time-paradox @tgpanther @anxietywontmakethewordsgo @l4life @acarpouschimerical @warlockwriter

Gabriel's past

@purrfectmochi @howaboutnotcaring @itwasamoose @animerose96 @erisunderthemoon @whatthehelliknow @primenumberscanbeintimidating @rainbowtransform @nnegan @sabrielsterek705 @supernatural618 @frankeigh @idabbleincrazy @thejennster @copperseraphim @otrera-kicks-ass @ilovetvshowsblog

Authors List

1. @revwinchester 2.@ttttrickster 3.@phantomwarrior12 4.@anxiety-fuel 5. @sugar-high-viking 6.@callmemisshorizon 7.@maximumsuckage 8.@tricksterxangel 9.@archangelgabriellives 10.@nobodys-baby-now 11.@thewhiterabbit42 12.@warlockwriter 13.@lastsavinggrace 14.@archangelsanonymous 15.@archangelashiah 16.@archangel-with-a-shotgun

#In the beginning #in the beginning gabriels past #gabriels past writing challenge #eventual gabriel x kali #blood #violence #knives #wolves

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tinkachu000 · 5 years

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when it comes to fiction versus reality one thing is always strikingly similar in stories against it. you always have those adults who are being creeps using said fiction to get closer to adults. yes this is terrible, its god awful, its abhorrent. however this isnt a black and white scale, NOTHING-- ON THIS PLANET-- is black and white. so while there are some adults who would use this to get closer to young ones. there are houndreds of thousands of adults who just want to do their thing. who would HATE for their works to be used in such a mannor because its just out there for them to yknow, either tell a story of shit that really happens, or just for the fuck of it.

you wouldnt say someone who writes murders or draws graphic gore to be a murderer or a cannible someone sick and twisted. no thats dark edgy and cool. but youre so QUICK to just lable anyone as dangerous if they draw a fictional character in any kind of sexual situation. do you understand how insanely headass that sounds? both of which those things could effect children negatively if they see it without the proper knowledge to understand it! this is why we have RATINGS on things.

If there is an adult who is doing nsfw content REGARDLESS of what the hell it intails, and it doesnt involve real people or the likeness of them, they arent trying to go anywhere near young children with their content, and in fact have all the proper warnings CLEAR AS DAY. Just. leave. them. alone? theyre doing their thing, in their space, that they created for them and the people of the like who like it. understand it. can process it. and it wont affect them negatively.

What it seems people dont get is that all these youngins say oh well I CAN HANDLE IT and go in there anyways then want to cry to mommy and daddy how they’re scared for life. at that point? its not that adults problem (unless of course they showed it to them or tried to introduce it do them or had ANY influence in giving them that content) im sorry to say ITS LITTLE TIMMYS FAULT. YOU SHOULDNT HAVE GONE INTO AN ADULT SPACE. PERIOD. thats SIMPLE FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. if it says 18 plus, uhm if you arent 18, DONT GO IN THERE.

AND YOU, ADULTS, who are of age!!! if you see someone doing something in their space. take the stick out of your ass and dont take that NSFW, possibly TRIGGERING content and PUT IT OUT THERE FOR THE YOUNG ONES TO SEE. ITS BEHIND A LOCKED ACCOUNT, PRIVATER, WARNING, ECT for a GOOD GOD DAMNED REASON. it only makes me think youre the creepy as hell one for even introducing that shit to them like HOW DARE YOU on so many levels for thinking a) god gave you the RIGHT to judge people and who one should cast a stone to b) showing minors inappropriate content c) in the end rallying a league of people to bully someone who was midning their own business and most likely. and heres the kicker...

isn’t a threat. they just aren’t.

people have weird shit they are into. i know, a lot of it is bad, awful, gross, whatever. ive seen it. ive seen it since i was a minor myself. i did things i wasn’t suppose to do sure. but it didnt bother me, i knew that it was fake. some people dont feel that way and THATS OKAY. block, mute, whatever that person. make your space safe. hell distance yourself from those people. be happy. Just dont act like you’re somehow jesus and you decide who and what this person is based on...something that’s not real.

fiction does affect reality, but we as humans have many ways to decide just how much it affects us and others. we take care of ourselves as well as others. it isnt some random dude in wisconsins job to worry about what your kid sees online. its their parents. however that random dude is also held responsible for not putting things in spaces not meant for that kid as well. and with adult sites going away because people think everyone should be a puritain thats getting harder. people are doing their best to tag and warn and keep people out but for some reason.

people keep going into those spaces, and sharing it for the whole world to see. sure its the internet, the whole world can see it, but that doesn’t mean they absolutely had to. they chose to. and if you so choose to do something that harms you?? thats nobodys problem but your own. point blank. pretend this is the road, the lines are so clear, stay in your lane. and when someones words and actions start crossing those lines.

then. and only then. do i think you should raise action. make sure the people who are EVIL get their just punishment. not the person who had nothing to do with it other than creating something most likely *not* for whoever it was shown to.

that’s all i, this stuff is so tiring. this conversation goes on and no ones going to win because no one is going to try to see eye to eye when really if everyone just minded their peace, stopped bullying people, and just kept themselves safe in their space. they’d be happy. you’re not saving the world by taking out small artists. not when people in hollywood will sell you for sex in a minute no matter who you are. or there is legit trafficking out there that needs to be stopped. you guys think that since these people are seemingly in your reach youre doing something good but you’re not. you arent. you are ruining someone elses life and damaging them in irreverable ways, and you dont even care. thats another got damned human being and you dont care what happens to them because you ASSUME that they condone the content they produce. when thats the farthest from the truth. its disgusting and it just makes me sad.

#protect yourself and protect others #everyone is just trying to LIVE in these trying times #everything feels like doom and gloom and the climate nature of online culture getting WORSE #just makes it even harder to want to try and get anything done #everything sucks and everyones putting their hand in to make it worse

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jaehotbuns · 6 years

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stay

rating: pg - 13

word count: 4,526

characters: you x yuta ft. johnny

genre: slight angst, fluff (?)

preview // You’d had been trying to build a wall since he stepped in because you knew subconsciously that you would fall for him at one point but when he looked at you like that you couldn’t refuse.

“Please for the love of God let him stay with you,” she begged and pleaded for the sixth time today. “You always let me stay at your place over days on end when I’m in need,” she moaned loudly into the receiver causing you to jerk your ear away from your phone to avoid the screeching, “so why not now?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance and took a deep breath before replying to your best friend’s unreasonable request. “Look Jess, my home is your home ‘cause you’re like my sister. I refuse to house a stranger.” You heard her inhale to refute that he wasn’t a stranger, that he was her really good childhood friend from years ago but that was of little relevance to you, “I don’t care if you’re close to him, I don’t even know his name.”

She made out an inaudible mixture pleading words and whining sounds before going back to convincing you, “it’s only for until he finds a new place. His landlord mixed up the apartments and now he has nowhere to crash and you’re the only one I know who has an empty place. Please, please, please!”

Although that situation sounded awful and you’d want someone to take you under their wing if it had been you in that exact situation you didn’t know what the person might do and you could barely keep your own apartment from looking like a wreck nevermind adding another individual to mess up the place. Deep in your thoughts, you started to look around your apartment; it was minimalist and had very little furniture to occupy the small yet cozy space and an extra room for storage that you had never gotten around to fill. With this much room and no real reason to say no rather than your own discomfort you had overcome that feeling with guilt and finally complied. “Fine. I’ll do it. But make sure he pretends that I don’t even exist.”

“Are you sure about that?” Jess teased, “he’s quite the looker and I know you haven’t dated in a long time.” You vividly pictured an image of her wiggling her eyebrows at you suggestively by her tone of voice through the phone.

She might’ve been true but after an epiphany a few nights ago with the help of two glasses of wine and 2 slices of fudge cake, you realized that you should stop pushing for things to happen and for love to knock on your door instead of the other way around. “Don’t push it.”

Jess laughed in defeat and told you that she was sending him on his way before hanging up the phone. For a moment you slunk into your ironically uncomfortable ergonomically designed office chair and laid your hand on the top of the seat so that you were looking up at the illuminated white ceiling. You didn’t know what to expect and the nerves of housing a stranger finally hit you; finding an apartment would take a long time, was he a creep or just plain-right annoying, or what if he accidentally plugs out your computer one day while vacuuming to help you out but you end up kicking him out but then taking him back in because you felt bad.

You collapsed your head onto the desk in front of you with your forearms on top of each other to cushion your forehead from banging on to the solid surface. Multiple irrational scenarios were occupying your mind just because you were socially awkward and never had a roommate other than a female friend or a family member before. As if having the lack of a romantic life, deteriorating social skills, and grades slipping faster than you could help yourself was bad enough, now you had the only comfortable place that you had to yourself was essentially stripped away from you no matter how nice your new roommate was.

Before you could have more minutes to spare sulking and pitying yourself, you heard an erratic amount of knocks and kicks to your door. “Are you actually kidding me Jess,” you huffed while dragging your furry slippers across the floor, “do you not realize that it’s midn-”

“Hello, heard you were kind enough to lend me a room” a handsome man smiled as soon as you swung the door open angrily thinking it was Jess with her usual rowdy behaviour that always gathered a list of complaints from your fellow tenants. ‘Handsome’ and ‘smile’ were quite the understatements; he was undeniably attractive especially with his wavy brown locks sticking to the sweat on his forehead and the dim hallway lights that practically twinkled in his eyes when he showed you his toothy grin although he was carrying a giant box- Holy shit you were too busy checking him out to realize that he had been carrying up his whole entire luggage up the stairs.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” you spluttered before opening the door wide enough for him to maneuver his way through the small entryway. “Should’ve told you that this place doesn’t have elevators.”

He set down the large cardboard box and wiped the perspiration dripping down his neck with the back of his hand. “No, it’s my fault for being cheap and not using a moving company.”

You were expecting him to retreat back into the hall to move in at least one more box or bag but all he came with were the clothes on his back and a beat up looking box. “That’s all you have?” You asked closing the door slowly just in case he was catching his breath and was bringing in more of his belongings but he shook his head and close the door himself with the large palm of his hand.

“Nah, I just brought the essentials and had planned to get everything shipped out to my new place from Japan just in case something came up,” he leaned against the door after turning the lock. “And just my luck, it did.”

You cocked your head to the side, fascinated by every single word that he said and every single one of his mannerisms that he displayed. “Good planning,” you said as his head slightly lolled against your door as he gazed down at you with relief. “So Japan huh?”

The worn out man was suddenly hit with a burst of energy as he seemed to forget to introduce himself to the kind and attractive girl in front of him, slightly embarrassed at how lazily he presented himself in front of her. “Yeah, my name’s Yuta. Nakamoto Yuta, sorry for the late introduction.” He rubbed the back of his neck in his nervous habit but silently resented himself for doing that as he couldn’t shake her hand now that it was covered in sweat.

You introduced yourself and gripped the two open holes on the side of his box to lift it up and bring it into the storage room where you had planned for him to stay but as your knees straightened from your squatting position to prevent throwing out your back, you started to stumble backwards.

“Careful,” Yuta chuckled beside your ear as he stabilized you with his big and callus hands around your elbows. He turned around so that he was in front of you and took the box with ease and nodded his head, a signal to lead him into his temporary room.

“Thanks,” you said quietly under your breath before turning swiftly onto your heel and into the room that you had prepared haphazardly for him; now regretting it as he was nicer than you had expected him to be. But was his angelic face alluding to that impression of him as you only had interacted with him for less than a good five minutes or was it because he genuinely seemed that way. “Uh sorry for the messy space,” you cringed as you glanced at your random mish mash of toys that you had never had the heart to toss out or donate and all of the ugly and amateurish paintings that you did to relieve stress.

He set his things down and placed his hands down on his waist as he looked at the same room that you were looking at but he interpretation was entirely different. “I like it,” he smiled. You stared at in with your brows knitted in confusion but he didn’t look down at you, too fascinated with the contents surrounding him. “I don’t know what kind of person you are, but if I did I would think this room is a good reflection of you.”

You scoffed, “messy, dusty, and filled with waste.”

Yuta frowned at how you described what he thought what was like your own personal art gallery, “it’s not waste if you like it right?” You shrugged and twisted your mouth from side to side searching for an answer to his rhetorical question but you ended up speechless. “If in that moment it kept you happy then you shouldn’t be ashamed of keeping it.” The slight shame that you had was lifted like a boulder off of your shoulders and all that you could do was look at him in awe, you had never heard anyone justify your attachment to the past in that way before. “Sorry, getting all philosophical on you.”

“No,” you said quickly. He finally faced you and scanned your expression, amazed at how his simple and honest words had affected you so much. “That makes me more comfortable, which reminds me I should let you get to unpacking.”

“Not much to unpack,” he laughed. You were turning to the door but before you could close it behind you he called out quickly, “anything I need to know?”

You thought about it for a second before poking your head through the small space between the door and the frame, “I’ll lay down the house rules when you’re done.”

When Yuta saw the door unravel from your grasp from the other side of the door he had released the wide grin that he was desperately trying to hold back when he was with you. ‘House rules,’ he thought, ‘cute.’ Curiosity was getting to the best of him and although his muscles were screaming at him to slow his pace of placing his items around the room, he rushed to hear what rules you had set out for him. But when you had set two cups of coffee in front of him and started telling him what you had wanted, he was nothing short of disappointed.

“That doesn’t seem quite fair,” he murmured as he sipped the fragrant coffee that coated his stomach in warmth. “Do you dislike me already?”

“No! No!” You quickly rebutted. “It’s just that I don’t want us to bother each other.” You looked down at the milk still swirly in your coffee from when you first poured it to avoid his sincere and confused stare.

“I understand that but ‘pretend I don’t exist?’ Isn’t that a bit much?” He gently stroked your hand that was cupping your mug with his fingertips, “I’ll make you regret those words and be the best roommate that you ever wished for.” You’d had been trying to build a wall since he stepped in because you knew subconsciously that you would fall for him at one point but when he looked at you like that you couldn’t refuse.

And both of what you predicted was true.

For the next few weeks, time had seemed to fly by faster than you had wanted them to. Every single day you’d wake up to a freshly brewed cup of your favourite tea or coffee depending on how tired you were and you reciprocated with his usual breakfast of oatmeal and strawberries although you couldn’t stand the sickeningly sweet smell in the morning. Since his classes usually started in the evening he would pack you lunch, and you would welcome him home with a hot home cooked meal with all the recipes from his mom who he had always gushed about.

Living with him seemed like a dream, you had felt like a college couple rather than a pair of accidental roommate and you knew when it was time for him to leave it would be hard to bare but you let yourself fall in love with him anyways.

“Hey!” Yuta called from the kitchen. “Wake up lazy, how naps do you take each week? Hurry up the food’s getting cold!” The one time he decided to cook dinner, he had to make a big deal out of it you thought as you squeezed your eyes shut as if it would also block out his nagging. You heard the swishing of slippers against your wooden floor but smiled when you didn’t feel Yuta nudging you awake as he would usually do. “Rise and shine,” he said softly in front of you, making you shriek when you realized that his face was only centimeters from yours.

Unlike you, he was perfectly calm and sauntered to the dining table, waiting for you to join him. “You’re annoying you know that?” You sighed, trudging your feet towards him. “Also nice apron,” you shook your head while chuckling at the printed white and pink roses that made him look like a housewife straight from an infomercial.

“Take it off for me,” he smiled with his arms held up in a straight line so that you could untie it for him.

“You have arms, you can do it yourself,” you rolled your eyes before sitting down.

He pouted and started to shake his arms that were still in the same exact position, “same arms that cooked for you c’mon don’t be difficult.”

You groaned and sat up from your seat quickly and started to unravel the knot that held the strings of the apron close to his toned body until you felt his arms wrap around your back and hug you lovingly. “Creep,” you exclaimed using both of your hands to shove him away from you.

Yuta plopped down into his chair in defeat while a stupidly cute beam spreading from ear to ear, “I am oh so sorry, consider this meal an apology,” he said while twinkling his fingers across the wide menu of Japanese food in front of you.

You clapped your hands together in front of you in awe, “please introduce them.”

He smiled at your excitement and started pointing at dishes that were in front of you to the ones nearer to him, “that’s just plain ol’ miso n’ rice, that’s tsukemono which is pickled vegetables, uhh hmm how do I explain the next dish…” Your eyes started to wander from the dishes to look at his concentrated face which was deep into thought to try and explain to you what the large grilled fish in front of you was. “I don’t know what kind of fish it is but I just know it from it’s appearance but it’s salted and fried. Nothing special.” He’d noticed that you were daydreaming while peering at his face; he shifted his gaze at you abruptly and placed his entwined hands under his chin. “Looking good?”

You coughed when your eyes had adjusted and realized that you had been staring for an uncomfortably long time, “let’s eat!” You picked up your chopsticks and placed the small cubes of silky tofu from your small bowl of miso soup into your mouth, it instantly melted and crumbled under between the roof of your mouth and your tongue. “This is really good!”

Your cheeks had started to rise in temperature when you saw that Yuta was in the same exact position, still intently fixated on your face enjoying how much you liked his cooking. “You had a piece of tofu honey, it’s that good?” Your face had scrunched up after that statement when you had just simply said what was on your mind but he picked up his chopsticks and removed the spine of the fish so that he could remove a piece of soft white meat and place it on top of your mountain of rice, “there, try that.” Once you scooped the rice and meat into your mouth, your eyes widened at him and your head nodded vigorously signifying that it tasted amazing. “Glad you like it, because I have something to tell you.”

You frowned slightly, when he had good news he usually was brighter and more cheerful, basically spewing rays of sunshine everywhere he went but when he had bad news he always said it with a smile and an almost nervous tone when he always seemed calm and relaxed. “What is it?”

He placed a mouthful of food inside his mouth and finished chewing before answering you, “I found a nice apartment. I think I’ll be moving out soon.”

“Oh,” was all that you could say to him since a jumble of words were refusing to form inside of your head to compose a literate sentence as the thought that he was never intending to stay for a long time had totally flew across your head. How could you forget that? Did you really think that you could play house with one of the most attractive, kind, and funny person that you had ever met and have him reciprocate the same feelings as you? “Uh that’s really good, I’m glad you finally found somewhere.”

His gaze was set on the window, revealing the bright city lights and moon covered by soft wafts of translucent white clouds that were brushing by pushed by the night wind. “Can you believe it’s been a month?” A month? That long already? His tone was melancholic and you had set down your chopsticks before even realizing it.

“When are you leaving?” You managed to choke out. You gulped down your tall glass of water to hide the fact that you were shaking from your voice to your hands.

“Tomorrow,” he said with a completely straight face, an expression that he had never showed to you before.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were hurt as a plethora of questions were rushing through your mind as well as the blood that was pounding in your head. Did he want to get out of here as soon as possible? Did the time together mean nothing to him compared to what it meant to you? “Do you dislike me that much?”

Yuta walked over to your side and kneeled on one knee in front of you, you tried to avoid his gaze as you could feel tears accumulating in your eyes but he cupped your face with one of his hands and the other was resting on top of you hand. “How could you think that? Does me leaving make you that sad?” You knew that if you had answered then the tears that you were forcing in were going to release so you did simply nodded and turned away. “Then be mine. Date me.” Your eyes widened and it was although his soft words had dried your tears.

A moment ago you were hating yourself for ever liking him, for giving him your emotions but now you were trying desperately to close them off as you had never envisioned this of happening. “I don’t think I’m ready.”

He smiled and quickly pecked your cheeks with his lips, “alright. I’ll miss you then.”

And that was the last thing he had said to you before he had left the next morning as you two were too bashful to say anything other than goodbye.

For the past week since he’s moved out you didn’t bother going into the storage room, you didn’t bother to use the kitchen and make food like you had used to and all that you could do was cry and sulk in your bedroom. It wasn’t like he had ghosted you or had fell off of the edge of the Earth, it just didn’t feel the same when you had met up with his quickly for coffee.

But as you were cramming on a Friday night to finish your Biology seminar with your less than helpful partner who you knew would rather be going to a crazy rager, you suddenly got a text from him asking if he could come over and pick up something that he had forgotten. Almost instantly, you shamelessly texted him back and told him he could come over anytime of the night which you regretted as that became the only thing occupying your mind.

When you returned to your laptop set on the dining room you looking over to the left to see Johnny rummaging through your refrigerator, “may I help you?”

“I finished what you wanted me to do,” he said indifferently.

You nearly stood up from you chair from his words, out of all people you would never expect him to put an ounce of work. Your fingers were quick to scroll through the slideshow presentation for your seminar and you were enthralled to see that not only did the visuals look amazing but the content was also up to par. “This is too good to be true,” you muttered. Your head whipped towards his direction, making him jerk back a little bit in surprise, “this isn’t plagiarized right?”

His tall and lean body leaned against the fridge door, “considering that I paid for my own tuition with my own money I can’t afford to get kicked out, also thank you for thinking so highly of me.”

You walked over to the fridge and ignored his snarky remark, “what are you looking for? You’re adding more onto my electricity bill.”

“You only have orange juice and soy milk,” he muttered. “I’d like a reward drink for all of the work.”

You looked at the last bottle of soju at the very bottom right corner of your fridge and snatched it up before closing the door, “sharezies?”

Johnny scoffed and opened the bottom cooly by slamming it on the corner of the dining table while you grabbed two shot glasses from your cabinet. Both of you sat the opposite of each other and as soon as you started to pour his share his eyes stared lasers into the glass. “Are you that desperate for alcohol?”

“I was just asking for a refreshing glass of coke maybe or some sparkling water but this isn’t too bad either,” he grinned.

And just like that both of you were down to your last shots, and like the light-weight you were you were about to be completely out like a light. Once you and him gulped down the last drops of the bottle, you were collapsed face down on the table. “Oi I didn’t think I would be taking care of you out of all people on a Friday night,” Johnny snarked.

“Leave me alone,” you sighed. “Just go home, I’m safe here anyways.”

You felt the tip of his elbow knock the smooth wood of your table, the vibration of his small action was washing through your forehead making you groan in slight pain. “I don’t think so. What if you throw up and choke on your vomit?”

You sighed and lifted your head up slightly so that you could rest your elbow on your forearm and glare at his smug face which was supported by his hand on the side of his face acting as a pillar. “I’d rather have that than you stay here any longer.”

He pretended to hold his chest in pain, his face scrunched up as if your statement was an arrow to his heart. “Ouch, I will take my leave then m’lady.” You waved him off as he stood up clumsily and heard him put on his shoes loudly as he kept slapping your walls to keep balance. The cold breeze of the door opening soothed your throbbing headache that was progressively getting worse. “I think you have a visitor,” Johnny called out.

You turned around to see who he was talking about and saw Yuta with his bangs covering his eyes, hiding his expression. You couldn’t deceiver if it was hurt or just pure anger at your audacity to have another man at your place when you rejected him. As you stared at him to try and decode it Johnny looked at the two of you innocently and read the situation, “I guess I’ll leave them. Thanks for today and good night.” He closed the door behind him and left a lingering trail of the night breeze.

Yuta stood motionless for a second and let a small chuckle out before tossing the keys in front of your feet as you stumbled upwards to walk over to him and explain but it felt like he tried to stop you from coming any closer to him. “If you didn’t want me then you could’ve just said so,” he said.

“Yuta no that’s not- I really do like y-” you stopped yourself. Although that statement could fix this ordeal and finally draw the line between you two you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

He finally brushed his bangs to the side and revealed his glossy eyes. He wasn’t angry or hurt, he was betrayed. “I wouldn’t have waited.”

“Yuta please!” You ran out of the apartment after him and made it to the stairs that were outdoors and freezing as you didn’t bother to slip on any footwear. “It’s not what it looked like, we were working on a project and had a little celebration drink and I sent him off I wouldn’t-”

“You don’t need to explain.” He stopped your trail and walked up the steps so that he was of eye level with you. “You made it clear to me already.”

Before he could turn around and start making his way down the stairs again you grabbed the tips of his fingers and slunk down on to your knees. “I’m scared of liking you.”

You heard silence for a moment and felt your heart drop when his fingers slipped out of your grasp. The tears that you didn’t even realize were forming had overflowed down your cheeks until you saw Yuta bend down and wipe them off. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes were now clear and sincere, making you pour out your feelings to him. “I thought if something happened then I’d be happy but I push everything I love away from me.”

He smiled softly and lifted your chin up so that you were looking directly into his eyes. “Didn’t you always say how you wanted love to come knocking on your door? That you wanted things to happen naturally? Then don’t push it away. Like how you keep your nick knacks with you when we first met, if you like something there’s no reason to push it away.”

And slowly his lips pressed softly against yours, nearly tickling your before he pulled you into a hug.

It was more than merely a kiss to signify the start of your relationship but more of his comforting you and telling you to live and love unregrettably.

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