#mfer cant NOT interfere in criminal affairs

[shoezuki]

"Honestly? I should've expected this."

Gepard sends Sampo a withering look from across the table; if the table wasn't stretching miles long, he'd probably kick Sampo, for good measure. Instead he just scowls at Sampo, anxiously tapping his fingers against the soft stone tabletop. "I don't know what you want me to have done differently, Sampo."

"Not wander off and get lost, for starters," Sampo hums, pointing what is probably this planet's version of a butter knife at Gepard. "I would've also preferred you not somehow someway accidentally dismantle the largest crime organization on this stupid rock in the few hours it took me to find you."

Gepard, for what it's worth, has the sense to look sheepish.

Sampo had definitely not expected any of this when he decided they should recoup on some planet barely the size of a moon. He'd docked their spaceship here so they could maybe figure out their weird situation of being kind of stranded in space, but mostly so him and Gepard could stop arguing about how they were absolutely not going to return their permanently borrowed space shuttle. Gepard had, in his anger, taken off into the bustling streets and left Sampo in the dust. In some series of events even Aha couldn't account for, Gepard had somehow managed to rescue a prestigious politician from a would-be mugging, find the dusty backalley tavern that a criminal group was using as a headquarters, infiltrate it with nothing but his fists, and promptly arrest the big figures of a powerful gang that had been destroying the local economy for decades. All before Sampo had even thought that, hey, maybe he should go find his headstrong boyfriend.

If Sampo hadn't been on the other end of Gepard's sense of justice many times before, he wouldn't have guessed that the other man in the room, sheepish and anxious and looking all too small in the massive regal seat the locals had shoved him in, was somehow capable of all this. But of course he knew him better than anyone. To him, deconstructing a major crime sphere? That was nothing. But getting labeled and celebrated as a hero and praised by the upper echelon? That had him blushing like nothing else.

"I-I don't know what you think I could've done. It just. Happened." Sampo sighs, leaning his chin heavy on his hand, elbow digging into the table. " I don't know either, Geppie. I thought planets with some good ol' political and criminal unrest would be fun. But maybe I should keep you away from any more. Wouldn't want to leave a path of statues raised in your honour all across the universe, right?"

Gepard looks horrified by the prospect of his inevitable worship. Sampo is glad for his distraction, using it to his advantage and pocketing another fancy, shiny piece of cutlery in his pocket. It was silver, probably. Maybe he could get some nice cash from the cutlery and small shiny goblets he's been filling his pockets with.

"I don't know why I'm here, though," he hums out, more to himself really, tapping his chin. "I mean, I'm just your handsome galactic travel guide! Of course I'm not going to turn down the opportunity to network, but..." He shrugs, meeting Gepard's eyes.

He gulps. "I, uh... I insisted." He bites his cheek, glancing away but always returning his blue gaze to Sampo. "It was... me. I asked them to find you. I just... wanted you here. Sorry?"

His smile is slight, an upturn of his lips and a small light in his eyes, but as genuine and honest as every part of Gepard is. It... well, Sampo expected he was fetched by the local police because of Gepard's insistence, and the reality of it didn't realistically change anything about Sampo's lingering annoyance with their previous arguments or the weird celebration he'd been dragged into.

But...

Gepard met his eyes, smile widening and some of that tension leaving his expression. "I missed you, Sampo." He was absolutely earnest, steadfast. Gepard's absolute honestly always threatened to drown him.

Sampo exhaled and grinned in turn. As always, his fondness heavily outweighed any exasperation.

"You're cute," Sampo cooed, "do you know that? No wonder these people wanna put up statues for you. I'd want to immortalize you too."

Gepard squeaks out Sampo's name and burns fire red, the intricate doors opening just at that moment and letting the entering politicians see Gepard melt.