#methinks i have a deeper problem than hormonal depression
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Took my antidepressants but the emptiness continues to consume
#refiba screams#atp i think i want to be miserable#i find my purpose within the walls of heart crushing disappointment and utter abject misery#and thatd not good#methinks i have a deeper problem than hormonal depression#theres something wrong with me#the question 'what do you want to do with your life' makes me crash the fuck outtttttttt#what a horrible question id rather be dead#ive been in limbo so long it feels like home#my insecurities take root deep in my soul like violence like invasion like desecration like violation#i create from a place of misery because ive mistaken insecurity for my indentity#nothing can fix this nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing#and the worst part of all is i cant even cry about it bc im taking these choney antidepressants#who am i without this heart rending depression i feel like i need in order to be alive#who is the happy alive girl i dont want to be?#fuck
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