#metalbeard asks

[metalbeardthepirate]

hi there captain! it's great to see you've joined us! have you spoken to any of the others yet? i bet benny will be excited to know you're around!

Ahoy me hand! It always be good to see a friendly face! I be talkin' to many a masterbuilder matey these past weeks, me hearty spaceman Benny, her royal highness Unikitty, even that Rex lad be subject to me yappin'! I also be talkin' to some less savory folks, like that Business scallywag, but I be havin' a splendid time seein' me good mateys! I were quite pleased to see Benny again, it had been a while since our last meetin', so it were a superb surpise to be shootin' the breeze with that spaceman again.

[cloudcuckoolanderscomic]

Metal beard do a flip!

[benny-the-spaceman]

Guess who's here

[captaincrumbz]

SnickerDoodle (TLM OC) Doodles :3

Their lore is a WIP but heres some of it so far

[ask-the-tlm-deities]

Do you want or have any tattoos?

⚓️ Arr, I be havin' many tattoos! Who do ye think started the trend? Me favorite be me albatross!

[4-as-in-a-trenchcoat]

MY AUS✨

Here's a list of all my aus + tiny explanations about them! Might make separate posts for all of them someday idk

1. Dad!Rex au

-Of course, the only au I've been public about so far. If you've seen my other posts about it, you already know what this is about, but if not, it's basically just a child (Theodore) crashing in Undar while Emmet/Rex's still there. Theo helps with trauma, Rex realizes he doesn't want anyone to go through what he went through and as a result, Rex adopts more children. Basically just wholesomeness yesyes

2. Dualistic Sides au (idk)

-In an alternate timeline, Emmet gets saved a year before he becomes Rex. He's still traumatized though, so he's basically just Emmet with PTSD and trust issues. After like, maybe a few months, this version of Emmet, who let's call.. Evan, starts to get really depressed and misses being his past self, so he decided the only logical thing to do is to travel back in time to before he crashed in Undar. But of course, our Rex also still has that idea, so now it's basically just an 'angel and devil on your shoulder' situation as both Rex and Evan try to guide Emmet in their own plans respectively. Evan genuinely wants to help, but Rex just wants to manipulate Emmet. (Edit: I just realized that this au is REALLY similar to @thinknamewhat 's Time Rivals au so credits to them! shddhhsh I did not mean to practically copy paste it with just a few tweaks sorry 😭)

3. Undar Explorer au

-Instead of being paralyzed, Emmet can still move in Undar. But with his ship still destroyed, he's forced to survive in Undar all on his own. And instead of Undar being a barren planet, there are just enough life forces that it becomes a challenge. Oh also, his friends eventually crash in Undar as well a few years later, for drama✨ (this au is basically just a copy paste of Della's situation in DuckTales and. yeah 🙂)

4. Switched Situations au (Idk either 😭)

-Instead of Emmet crashing in Undar, this time it's Mayhem, Lucy, Unikitty, Benny, Metalbeard and Batman who crashes. Emmet's the one who manages to get through the Stairgate, but when he doesn't find his friends in the Systar System, he accuses Watevra of kidnapping them, and in turn, Watevra accuses Emmet and the other Apocalypseburgers of kidnapping Mayhem. Angry and devastated, they end up starting a deadly war against each other. And the ones who got stuck in Undar time travel to the past to: stop themselves from crashing, stop Emmet from confronting Watevra, and most importantly, stop the war.

5. Criminal au

-Self explanatory, instead of being masterbuilders who fight for a righteous cause, the masterbuilders are actual criminals who do crime and end up accidentally dragging Emmet into everything (happens during the first movie).

6. Ghost!Emmet au

-After Emmet sacrifices himself in TLM, he doesn't come back to life. He does come back as a ghost though. ..Yeah that's all there is to it, really.

7. The Worst Timeline/Replacement au

-Basically another dead!Emmet but so much worse! So here, Lucy doesn't arrive on time and Rex ends up killing Emmet. Everybody (as in, even the citizens of Apocalypseburg and the Systar System) eventually arrives to see Emmet dead and Lucy in complete despair. Rex explains everything and then just.. fades away because. Emmet's fucking dead. And now everyone's in even more despair. A year passes, and nobody has fully moved on yet, until eventually, it all becomes too much and Lucy and her friends all agree to time travel to the past to kidnap past Emmet, from wayyyyy back before the Duplos invaded, but still after TLM. They essentially gaslight and manipulate Emmet into thinking this was his original timeline. And.. yeah.

8. Lost Memories au

-Emmet just loses his memories after crashing in Undar. ..Actually I'm pretty sure someone already made an au about this, but I'm not sure?? If someone knows if anyone made this au yet, please tell me and I'll remove it here.

9. Mother Knows Best au

-Doris, Emmet's mom, got worried over Emmet's lack of contact, since he always contacts her, even after moving away. She decides to visit Apocalypseburg, only to find Syspocalypstar, and a memorial statue of Emmet, much to her surprise. After she finds Lucy and the others and gets them to explain, she begs them to help her find him. So feeling guilty, they all agree. And.. they do end up finding Emmet. Doris gets angry at Emmet's friends, thinking that if they've just searched more and put more effort in trying to find him, then he wouldn't have to have been so traumatized. She prevents Emmet from seeing them and becomes really overprotective. E.

10. Kids au

-Again, self-explanatory, it's basically just a prequel to TLM and it's the main cast (except Watevra and Mayhem of course) as children. It's literally just an excuse to write fluffy and angsty backstories about them, actually :b

11. Keeper Of The Timelines au

-After Rex back-to-the-future's in the 2nd movie, he becomes some sort of keeper of timelines, having access to the past, present, and future, he kinda subtly tries to keep everything going smoothly. From Emmet meeting Lucy, to him becoming the Special, to him meeting Rex, etc. And even though he knows not to interfere with already existing timelines, he still ensures that no more Emmets get stuck in Undar, or have to go through the same fate as him. Not if he can help it.

Yeah, that's all of them so far! Feel free to ask me questions if you're curious about any of them :)

[mcondance]

Hobie: I am not gonna sit down and watch a movie with you that was made for the simple reason of advertising

*hour and 35 minutes later*

Hobie:ok so my favorite character was metal beard,the songs in this are catchy as hell they ain’t punk but they catchy

Me: ya know there’s a second Lego movie and a Lego Batman movie right?

Hobie:….hold on a sec I’m making more popcorn

I would force him to watch that movie with me,and the next day he’d probably ask Lego Spider-Man if he’s a master builder

-👾

what u need 2 understand is that i just thought abt it and it's safe to say i was very autistic regarding the lego movie,, i made my uncle take me to see it not once but twice... metal beard is fucking hilarious. my favorite part of lego movie was the batman scenes. "well it's not like a big, dumb spaceship is gonna appear in the sk- OH MY GOD." batman is my fav lego movie character he was so funny. "batman only works with black. and really really dark gray." ALSO THE PART WHERE SHAQ LEGO was like "they not ready for this" and him and some other legos build a fucking basketball launcher, launch the basketball at the enemy ships, only for the fucking basketball to bounce off the ship and lego shaq goes "oh no, they were ready for that" LIKE WHATDJFOIDJfi. also the ghost lego was soooo funny. "the prophecy is true.. because it rhymes." now let me shut the hell up.

[ternfic]

The Atlantis Expedition

Chapter Twelve: Dust and Shadows

It had been quite a trick to get Business to leave the other room, nearly ending with Metalbeard physically hauling him out. He’d insisted on them letting him at least finish taking pictures first- the walls were covered with texts carved or painted onto them, and he was eager to translate them. “Why don’t ye give that brain of yers a rest?” the captain suggested, looking rather concerned.

“You seriously expect me to be able to sleep when I have something this fascinating to study??” Business protested. “What if there’s clues in here on the temple? I didn’t find much at the last one, you know.”

“…Ye’ve got two hours,” Metalbeard allowed.

“Would you mind doing it in the captain’s cabin?” Emmet asked. “I’m ready to crash.” He emphasized it with a yawn and a stretch.

“Sure,” Business agreed easily, and practically ran back onto the ship to get started.

“I’ll keep watch with you,” Bad Cop told the pirate.

“Ye sure about that, lad?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gone forty-eight hours or longer without sleep. I’m pretty well used to it. Besides, I don’t think I can sleep either, not with the threat of those sky pirates out there.”

Metalbeard waited until the rest of their friends had retreated to their cabins for the night before speaking again. “Avoidin’ sleep ain’t the way to go about fixin’ yer nightmare problem.”

“That’s not it,” Bad Cop sighed. “I just have a lot on my mind tonight. I promise.”

“Well, alright then…” Metalbeard didn’t speak again, picking up on his introspective mood, and decided to leave him be.

The dizzy spells were increasing in frequency, but with them were coming back vague bits and pieces of memories, so old he wasn’t certain of the reality of them, but something about his current situation just felt familiar. Like when he and Alastar were just toddlers, still trying to figure out how to switch out with each other. Dizziness had been common then, back when they hadn’t been quite strong enough mentally yet to manage it.

It was unnerving. Good Cop was still gone, he could feel his twin’s absence clearly. So why did it feel like… he might have someone to share headspace with again…?

It was a terrifying, reckless, and stupid idea, but he did it anyway. He closed his eyes and ‘reached’ back into his own mind, searching. Hello? Alastar, please tell me if that’s you…

…hI.

He sucked in a sharp breath, going rigid. It was a good thing Metalbeard had wandered away some time ago; he could not deal with the questions right now, he had too many of his own. Letting out a shaky breath he raked his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his rattled nerves.

He was going to have to speak with Lucy at some point the next day.

Even with two of their toughest keeping watch for the night, between the anticipation of an attack and the excitement of exploring the new temple, no one rested easily. Everyone was up bright and early the next morning, even Benny. Business was still poring over the photos at the breakfast table, scribbling down translations as fast as he could decipher them. “What did you find out?” Benny asked, sitting next to him to peer at his notes.

“That machinery you guys repaired last night? That’s some pretty heavy-duty stuff- it looks like it might cause the entire temple to shuffle and reform its layout, something like a giant Rubik’s cube.”

Emmet’s eyes went wide. “No way, that’s awesome!”

“I also found this.” He opened the photo gallery on his tablet and flicked it to a certain image.

“It just looks like the same carvings that were all over that room,” Lucy said. Wordlessly, Business zoomed in to reveal a cleverly hidden hole.

“It looks like a keyhole!” Unikitty exclaimed. “Maybe that’s what the Thing is for?”

Bad Cop sat at the end of the table, mug of coffee in hand, sipping at it as the others crowded around Business’ notes, only half paying attention to the conversation. “Hey,” Benny said suddenly and he jumped, because what the heck, wasn’t he just at the other end of the table? The astronaut snickered. “I thought spacing out was my thing,” he teased, and Bad Cop scowled at him. “Seriously though, you okay? You’re not falling asleep on us, are you?”

“I’m fine,” he grumbled.

“You don’t look fine,” Benny persisted. “In fact you look downright distracted.”

“It can wait, Ben.”

“Well, if you say so…”

“Look,” Bad Cop relented. “I wasn’t lying when I said I was concerned about those sky pirates catching up to us. Let’s just get this temple figured out, and then I’ll talk when we’re on our way to the next, alright?”

Benny grinned, floating upward. “Fair enough. Let’s go!”

Breakfast was hastily finished, and they hurried back into the temple. Lucy took off the chain with the key on it, sliding it in where Business pointed out. As soon as it was in place, something clicked, and she quickly yanked it back out as the door began to slide aside. Almost immediately the entire structure began to shudder, and they hurried through the opened door. Emmet nearly lost his footing when the floor gave a sudden lurch and the room started to slide. “Whoa!”

As soon as the temple settled again, another door opened, showing the way through. Business grinned. “Game on!” he shouted, and ran through the open doorway. The next room had three closed doors, each with a hole that matched Lucy’s key.

“Which one do we pick?” Unikitty asked.

“I don’t think it really matters,” Business answered. “From what I was able to translate, there is no wrong path, just different challenges.”

“Let’s open the one to the left then,” Lucy decided, and unlocked it. They continued on through the temple, every other room having a locked door or a building-related puzzle to solve. Every time they completed a challenge, the temple would reshuffle itself.

“I’m starting to wonder if this is a test of our patience as well,” Bad Cop grumbled. “How long have we been at this now? I lost count.”

“I be gettin’ the feeling we’re nearly done.”

“Guys, look! There it is!” Unikitty shouted as the last door slid open. “We reached the heart of the temple!”

“Oh thank goodness.” It was much like the sealed-off chamber in the first temple, nearly identical in its layout. Unikitty made straight for the magic generator to turn it on, as Business took photos of the script on the walls. She waited until the secret compartment popped open, revealing another key, this one made of stone and copper and rubies. She conjured another chain for it, and Lucy slipped the key onto it.

“You want to take this one, Unikitty?”

“Sure!” she chirped, and Lucy slipped it around her neck. Unikitty struck a pose, grinning, as Business turned his tablet in her direction to get a picture of the key. He chuckled as he turned it around to show her. “Ooh, that’s a good one,” she preened.

Benny floated over when Metalbeard made a sound of frustration. “What is it?”

“These symbols! They’re not makin’ any sense to me! There ought to be a map here, I’ve no idea what this nonsense be!”

The astronaut snickered. “Easy there, captain, we’ll figure it out.”

“I got a picture,” Business offered, holding up his tablet. “I think everyone’s a little frazzled from this gauntlet run right now, we can give it another look in the morning.” Lucy unlocked the door at the opposite side of the room, revealing a spiraling staircase back down to the main chamber. They had barely set foot outside of the temple when they were caught off guard by a sudden blast, and Metalbeard collapsed.

“Not again!” the cyborg captain howled in outrage.

The sky pirates descended en masse, half the crew holding the Master Builders at gunpoint while the other half searched them. Airheart smirked at them. “Fancy meeting you all here,” she drawled. Bad Cop’s fists were clenched, and Unikitty flashed scarlet. She barely managed to refrain from losing her temper; trashing robots was one thing, but she couldn’t afford to cause that kind of damage to living people. “No chair this time, Bad Cop?”

“No one invited you,” Benny growled. “Get lost.”

“Oh we will, just as soon as we have what we came for. Ah! My, those are nice necklaces you have there, ladies. Hope you don’t mind me helping myself.”

Lucy assumed a defensive pose, to a chorus of guns clicking. “We’d mind quite a bit.” Just as she wound up to strike, a shot fired near her foot, and she froze. Those weren’t the lasers that Bad Cop used, that just hurt a lot if one hit you. Those were actual bullets. Airheart smirked at her.

“Now you’re getting the picture,” she said, and snatched the chain from around Lucy’s neck. Unikitty’s was next, and she plucked Business’ tablet from his hands as well, despite his protests. “Thanks for the gifts, darlings, we’ll put them to good use!” She blew them a kiss before once more boarding the Sky Rogue, her crew keeping their guns trained on the Master Builders as they followed.

As soon as they were clear, Unikitty screamed in rage, kicking up sand and stone in her fury. Bad Cop made a beeline for his car, and let out a wordless snarl when it wouldn’t start. Benny pouted when his spaceship yielded the same results. There was no chance of pursuit that time.

Emmet watched helplessly as Benny and Metalbeard sulked, and Bad Cop kicked his chair across the deck. “…What should we do now?”

“Nothin’ we can do but wait,” Metalbeard grumbled. Emmet helped Benny and Bad Cop get Metalbeard seated upright. “Smart lass, using that electro-magnet thing to slow us down rather than an actual cannon.”

“She must know we’re Master Builders,” Lucy guessed. “She would have guessed we’d have the holes patched up quickly enough.”

“My spaceship…” Benny whined, and Bad Cop grumbled in agreement.

“Oh, ease up you two, I’ve got plenty of spare parts to repair them both,” Business waved them off. “I kept them in my EMP-proof case, after Metalbeard mentioned her using it that first time, I thought she might favor that weapon and took precautions.”

“And what good will that do in getting us that tablet back?” Bad Cop snapped. “By the time we’re done, she’ll be long gone!”

“It really is a good thing I was the last one out of the temple.” Business gave him a smug smirk as he slipped his smart phone from his pocket, flipping it up for Bad Cop to see. “The miracle of technology. I have them synched.” He brought up the picture of Unikitty with the key and shoved the device at his former henchman. Bad Cop instinctively grasped it, blinking at it.

“What good is a picture of the key going to do?” he growled after a moment.

“Uh, we’re surrounded by Master Builders. Masters of matter manipulation and creativity? They can just make a replica of it. Duh.”

Said Master Builders stared at him in something rather like awe. “That’s… that’s brilliant, actually,” Lucy said.

Business snorted at that. “I told you this isn’t my first rodeo.”

Bad Cop was silent for a long moment as the idea sank in. He handed the phone back with a soft “thank you, Sir.” Business stared; it was the most civil and respectful the cop had been toward him since Takos Tuesday.

Benny, having perked up at the news that his spaceship could be easily repaired, floated over to put a hand on Bad Cop’s shoulder. “You know, you’ve been awfully tense today, are you alright?” Bad Cop pointedly stared at Business, and Business promptly made himself scarce, muttering something about going to grab his case to get started on those repairs. “Come on man, you promised you’d tell me when we were done with the temple,” Benny reminded him.

“I did, didn’t I,” Bad Cop sighed. “Alright, but let’s grab Lucy first, I’ll need her help to get this sorted out.”

The astronaut looked confused. “Why Lucy?”

“You think I didn’t do my research on you Master Builders?” Bad Cop rolled his eyes. “Vitruvius was a master at delving into mindspaces. Lucy was his best student.”

“Ohh, I see.” Benny frowned. “Wait, you need her to go mindspace-diving?” The frown quickly melted into a look of astonishment. “OH! Does that mean Good Cop’s making a comeback?!” He bounced eagerly.

“…No.”

“What?”

“Lucy first, Ben.”

“Ohh, alright…”

[askthechronoverse]

No one asked you, MetalBeard.

Know what? I'm gonna open a Master Breaking school or a correspondence course or something. Knowing how to break pieces apart is as important as learning how to use those pieces to build.

You're all just afraid of whatcha don't understand!

[differentsublimephantom]

Hey y’all! I thought I should make a post explaining my AU and what’s happened to Ezra/Scribblecop in it, just because why not? So here is a messy timeline of events! This is a weird hodgepodge of info dumping, and fanfiction, so you have been warned.

PS!! This is heavily based on an amazing ((and sadly unfinished)) gcbc fanfic I’ve read, and I would’ve asked the og writer permission to use this storyline in my AU, but they have , since deleted their socials (other than discord), and when I looked them up on discord they had fully disappeared. Here is the fic in question, I encourage that you read it before you read this!

So full credit for the basic plot goes to them, and I’ve made a few tweaks and fleshed out the story more here and there, but I felt I had to give explicit credit to them for the ideas. (and Ezra as a name for scribble cop!)

So. Takos Tuesday has happened. Gc and bc are still recovering, and trying to make amends for the trouble they caused. They are no longer switching using the two faces, instead they now have clip-on sunglasses to switch between GC and bc. Emmet and the other masterbuilders crew have assembled a team of volunteers (including gc and bc) to help rebuild and repair the city!

Emmet has even gotten them out of trouble with the law a bit- giving them a deal that says they won’t have to go to jail, if they get mandated therapy, and 18 or so months of volunteering/service. They still have to go to court, but they both agree it’s better than being arrested. Gc and bc agree happily, and keep going to the volunteer meetings.

(Btw, president business has the same deal given to him. Emmet says it’s in the name of fairness. Baby boy has good intentions, but he is kinda naïve.)

Things are going great! Until they aren’t.

(Btw in my AU president business is an AWFUL person. I know that in canon he has a bit of a redemption arc, and in some rp blogs on here he is not the worst person, but in this universe he feels no real remorse for the things he did. *yet*.)

President business also attends the volunteer meetings, although he is always late by half an hour or more, and doesn’t seem to care. And one day he sits right next to GcBc.

(Okay, another side tangent! In the og fic I was inspired by, gcbc and ez have DID. I do not have DID. So I am very nervous to write a character with DID, because I’d hate to offend someone. That being said, I’m going to face my fears of hurting someone’s feelings, and try my best, so if I get anything horribly wrong IM SO SORRY, PLEASE CORRECT ME.)

At this point in time Ezra has not fully made himself know to gcbc. He didn’t really exist before takos Tuesday (because as I understand it, personalities/alters can sorta just appear after a traumatic enough experience? It’s just that DID can only start in people younger than 9ish?) so gcbc have no idea he’s now sharing a body with them.

Ezra was “created” (or whatever youd call it) by the traumatic event where Gc got his face erased, and essentially got put into a coma.

Because of this, president business is a trigger for Ezra, and when he sees him, he automatically comes to the front/is in control.

But GCBC DONT KNOW THAT YET. So, when business comes into a meeting (late as per usual) and sits down right next to gcbc, Ezra (who everyone thinks is GC btw!!) starts giving him a death glare. This prompts business to start teasing and messing with “GC”, and causes “GC” to lash out verbally back.

Lucy is having none of their sh*t, so she breaks them up, but when the actual GC comes into a meeting the next week, he gets pulled aside and asked by Metalbeard to either grow up and stop messing with business, or leave the meetings, and GC says that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Metalbeard doesn’t believe him, but let’s him off with a harsh warning.

(yeah, I know that sounds harsh, but the masterbuilders are kinda mean at the start, and get a redemption later.).

Time skip because after that nothing seems to happen, business isn’t sitting right next to the cops, so the problem seems to be solved! Gcbc visit their parents, who are recovering in the hospital (pa copp had his leg amputated btw) (inspo for that from this fic.)

Poor GC and bc seem to be disassociating more often, and things seem to be moving around their house that the both swear they didn’t move, but they just brush it off, because they’re both doing too well at the moment to worry about it.

Ezra is, of course, the one moving stuff, and the one who was fighting with business, but after the warning from Metalbeard, he quiets down. The next time he takes over, he finds a journal in their apartment. It’s an old one, before Vitruvius’ prophecy kinda old, and it just has some back-and-fourth messages from GC and bc when they were fronting alone, years before they worked for octan.

He decides to write something in it, and a day later GC and bc find it, and are UNDERSTANDABLY VERY CONFUSED. But they don’t know what else to do, so they just write back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello. Is anyone reading this?”

“Yep! who is this??”

Two days later they get a reply:

“I don’t know.”

“Well who is writing this then?”

“I don’t know. Someone.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that was that. They tried to get more of a response, but the mysterious writer stopped replying.

Ezra, I’m reality, was having an existential crisis, (You would to if you didn’t know who you were!), and was very worried when, two days to the court date he found out that they had to appear in court.

Why was he worried? 1. The poor guy doesn’t know why he has to go to court/what he did, 2. Business is going to be there, 3. He’s worried that the mandatory therapist will try to “cure him” by getting rid of him. Ezra is going through it in this fic.

Anyways, one more meeting happens before the court date, and as per usual, business is being an asshat. He decides to cause trouble. One more time he decides to mess with “GC” Ezra, and surprisingly, ez doesn’t react. Doesn’t respond. He’s too busy planning Business’ death.

Not kidding! Ezra tried to kill business. Just like the masterbuilders though, he has his redemption arc too. But for now… Ezra goes to business’ new, much smaller, office, the night before the court date. The old octan tower is mostly dismantled, and in ruins. Slowly being cleaned up, and taken away, piece by piece.

Ezra, pretending to be GC, gets business to come down to the front desk, where he explains to at he’s “tired of being a goody two shoes” and wants to run off with business. He doesn’t though, but business doesn’t know that. So he eagerly says yes.

Cut to the abandoned octan tower. “GC” says he wants to pick some stuff up before they flee the country, and business agrees, foolishly following him inside. Here’s where Ezra’s plan gets a bit.. not thought out on his part (ah yes, phantom, blame it on your characters not your writing!👍🏾)

Once business is inside, Ezra goes up to the buildings controls centre, it’s a very high tech place, so he can just press a button and lock all the doors in the building. No exit means no where to run. He finds an old blaster that still works, and sets fire to a few things with it: the emergency exit, the car they used to get there (through the emergency exits door, before he shoots that), and the controls centre itself.

Business may be a bad guy, but he’s certainly not stupid. He very quickly and correctly deduces what’s going on, and tries desperately to find a way out. (During all this, the masterbuilders have heard that business is apparently missing, and so is gcbc, so they visit the office building, and some other places to try and figure out what’s going on.)

This all culminates in Business disarming Ezra, and shooting him in the left leg. Ezra manages to outrun business long enough to make him temporarily loose his trail, and hides in the relic room. Business finds him, and Ezra admits defeat. Relics all around them, and Ezra backed into the desk at the back wall, sitting on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Just kill me.”

“What?”

“Just kill me! I know you want to, and you know there’s no way out of this anyways, so what’s the point?”

“…”

Business shrugs and picks up the sceptre.

“NO!- NO. Please. Not with that. Not with THAT! Use the blaster!!”

Ezra pleads. Business is in total shock. After all those years of working with GC and bc, business learned a little bit about how they work, and while pondering the situation, something clicks in his mind.

“…I’m… not.. talking to good cop, OR bad cop, right now… am I?”

“Took you long enough.” Ezra spits.

“Well who are you?”

“I’d rather you just kill me.”

“I’d rather know who I’m killing first.”

“….. I’m not fully sure who I am.” Ezra chokes on a stifled sob.

“Well what’s your name?”

“…I wanted it to be “Ezra” but now I’m not so sure about that..”

“Why not?..”

“It means protector.. and I dunno if you’ve noticed, but so far I’ve done a sh*t job o’ that.”

Business chuckles.

“Well, I think Ezra suits you.”

“Thanks.”

Silence. Then Business speaks again.

“This- All of this. It’s my fault isn’t it?”

“No kidding.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay? Why should I care? Am I supposed to forgive you?

“Well… isn’t that how it works?”

Ezra laughs tiredly. This psycho doesn’t even know how an apology works? Yeah, that tracks.

“No! No! That’s- of course that’s not how it works. You think that just because you say a few words, shake a few hands, and “pinkie swear you won’t do it ever again” that’s supposed to make things BETTER?!” Ezra screams. Business doesn’t reply, only snaps his head up to look at him, in response.

“You destroyed hundreds- no, THOUSANDS of lives, FORCED US to kill hundreds of innocent people, put my brother or whoever he is- IN A COMA. And after all that, you just say “sorry”? You are a sociopath. A crazy, irresponsible, cruel, evil, sociopath.”

Business simply stands there for a moment, Taking in Ezra’s words.

“….I’m not gonna kill you y’know.”

“Why not? It’d be better than jail for attempted murder.”

“Well…… you deserve better than this. I’m not killing you.”

“Fine! Let the fire and smoke kill us then.”

“Well we could try and get out of here?”

“Nope, I blocked the exits.”

“A window might work.”

“You shot my leg, I couldn’t land.”

“Well-“

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterbuilders to the rescue!!!!!! They finally figured out what was happening, and where they formerly evil pair (trio?) were. One spaceship building sequence later (thanks Benny) and they were off to the hospital for gcbc’s leg and to give business a check up.

On the very awkward ride over, business explained the very little info he had figured out, about Ezra and everything. The builders were confused, but nodded and smiled, thinking that business was talking crazy. Ezra had passed out due to the blood loss.

At the hospital, when gc and bc wake up, they are quite confused. Why was there a gunsh*t in their leg? And why were they here? And why were all the masterbuilders here? And why was Business here? A lot of understandable questions. Unfortunately for gcbc, Lucy didn’t think so.

Lucy is (like everyone except Business) going to get her redemption arc, but you can’t write a story without something driving the plot so..

Lucy thinks that gcbc were completely faking when they told Metalbeard they didn’t confront Business at the meeting, and that this is the same situation. As far as she knows, the only people in gcbcs body are GC and bc, and she’s not even sure if they are really two different people and not one who acts differently sometimes (go easy on her, she’s just very uneducated on personality disorders and stuff)

Lucy very loudly voices this, that she thinks they are faking and using the “we’re not the same person” thing as an excuse to do dumb stuff, just as Gcbc’s parents walk in.

Gc takes over, and (as calmly as he can) explains why Lucy is VERY WRONG and gives a 3ish minute crash course on DID to the builders. Then asks them to get the hell out of their hospital room. After a talk with their parents, they go home with them. (ma and pa live fairly close to gcbc, and are now both discharged from the hospital.).

The copp family happily goes home, and gcbc are sitting on their old bed, in their childhood room. After some conversation between GC and bc, they hear another voice in their head. Ezra says he’s sorry, and admits he definitely didn’t think that through, and GC and bc comfort him a bit.

Later in the morning (it’s morning now, because the incident that just happened, happened at night), Ma cop says she made some breakfast, and the boys leave their room. Pa is sitting at the dining table with a laminated piece of paper, a blank piece of paper, and an old mug filled with pens and pencils.

Ezra, Good Cop, and Bad Cop (who are all co-fronting at this point, aka their are all sharing control), sit down, and GC and bc instantly recognize the laminated paper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gc: “Oh my goodness. Is that?-“

“Yes it is! Found it in my office.”

Bc: “Good lord, dad, you had that thing laminated?”

“For to the memories! Besides, it’s comin in handy now isn’t it?”

Ez: “Um…. What is that?”

“Oh- it’s just something the boys did when they were younger.”

At that moment, Ma (who had been listening to the conversation), walked in and answered the question Pa technically hadn’t.

“When the boys were younger, me an’ Pa were both very busy working all the time. And while Daniel was only ever alone for about 10 minutes before one of us came home from a shift- ten minutes was all my awful sister, their aunt, needed to call cps on me. They got put in a very awful foster home while me and Pa fought tooth-and-nail to get them back, and that’s when they got Dissociative Identity Disorder.. The poor dears were only seven at the time..” Ma paused to let him catch up, then continued.

“When they got back home to us, and after their diagnosis, they decided in order to get to know each other, they would both write down questions for one another, and us, on that piece of paper, and then we’d reply to them. Daniel uses the black pen, Danny blue, Pa green, and me red.“

Ezra nodded, taking in the information.

“So that’s when they split?”

“Yep. Went into the situation with one son, came out of it with two!” Pa joked.

“And although the ordeal was unfortunate, we are a bit thankful for it. I couldn’t imagine not having Danny here today!”

Ezra thought some more.

“So, Daniel came first then? Like- he was the host so to speak?”

“Yep!” The parents replied in unison.

“Er… and, who is Daniel again?”

Ezra got his answer in the form of four answers, all at the same time.

“Me. I’m Daniel.”

Gc: “You’ll have probably heard him be called Bad Cop. He’s very nice though buddy!”

Ma: “One of our sons. The “Bad One”.”

Pa: “That’s Bad Cop, lad. Danny is Good Cop.”

“Ah. Okay..” Everything was quiet for a moment, and then Ma spoke up.

“So, er, whom do we have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“…Ezra.”

“Well, welcome to the copp family Ezra.” Pa said.

“Thank you… uh, not to sound rude or anything but.. you guys don’t… hate me..Y’know, for the attempted murder thing..?” Ezra said cautiously. Both cops glanced at each other, and then back at Ezra. They looked like they had just seen a puppy get killed.

“Oh heavens no, dear!! We both know it’s hard to deal with. Poor Danny was very mixed up when he first “woke up”.” Ma looked very reassuring, and suddenly Ezra got the urge to hug her. But he didn’t.

“So…” pa starts.

“D’you want to do the questions thing?”

Ezra, Danny, and Daniel respond with an enthusiastic yes, with Ezra assigning himself an orange pen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As promised, this story has a happy ending. After Lucy’s mistake in the hospital, Benny (who has hyper fixated on different disorders including did, and knows a bunch about it) was very disappointed in the group, and gave them all a big infodump about it.

After the whole ordeal came out to the judge, the court date got pushed back. So, two weeks of recovering, and family bonding later, the cops entered the court room.

(I’ve written all of this in ONE DAY and am getting kinda tired of writing, so imma make the rest of the story pretty quick)

Good cop, bad cop, and Ezra thankfully don’t get in trouble for trying to kill business. The court figured that because Ezra didn’t actually SUCCEED in killing him, they’d just call it a lesson in karma for lord business and leave it at that.

(Yes I know that’s very inaccurate to what would happen irl, but this is a fanfiction based on a ten year old movie about LEGOS so I’m not exactly going for accuracy here.)

Lord/President Business is sent to jail instead of mandated therapy, partly because he agreed to run away with gcbc (the masterbuilders got video evidence from the office’s security camera) and partly because idk man I’m tired and because I said so.

After they get their sentences or whatever, the masterbuilders all come to apologize to gcbcsc, Lucy and Metalbeard especially. Benny invites the cops out for lunch with the masterbuilders (slight coppernaughts??) and they say yes. More apologies are said at lunch, for takos Tuesday, and for not being more supportive of the cops during the meetings and stuff like that, and all of them agree to start over as friends, and both parties agree to try and make amends for the past.

The end!

See? I told you this had a happy ending! Sorry this got rushed at the end, and I’m also sorry if this is hard to read/unclear? I tried. Also, if you made it this far: HOLY CRAP THANK YOU FOR READING ALL OF THIS. I DEFINITELY WROTE TOO MUCH. But who cares!!!

Anyways, I’m gonna take a nap now. Bye!

[sunnydayart]

Imagine metalbeard having different kinds of beards for special occasions….. imagine him going to a blacksmith or smt and asking them to weld him a beard……

[metalbeardthepirate]

@bennythespaceman1984

METALBEARD?! You didn't tell me you were on here!!! Since when did you become tech savvy? And WITHOUT me?! My heart is shattered... Just kidding! But you really could've asked me!

Ho! Benny, me heartie! It be good to see yer mug. It were admittedly a difficult task to create this here "blog", but I fought 40 pirates once with me hands tied to me back, I don't be needin' aid fer somethin' like this! Although I'll be keeping ye in mind the next time I be needin' some technical advice lad. What have ye been up to, spaceman?

[cloudcuckoolanderscomic]

CLOUD CUCKOOLANDERS INTRODUCTION

Hello hello! This sideblog is by Superpeeboy :)

My Cloud Cuckoolanders comic is about Unikitty, Metalbeard, and Benny having adventures as a trio. They are the focus of the comic, and while other TLM characters might show up, the comic isn’t exactly about the events of TLM. To me, it’s a way to make the TLM spinoff I always wanted. So the comic is going to be more focused on that trio, their relationships, their personalities, etc.

This is a space for all my Cloud Cuckoolanders content. I intend for it to be mostly for comics, but I can use this as an ask blog and rp blog as well, if people want that. However that is not the focus of the blog, so don’t expect very consistent answering and roleplaying.

When you interact with me, please keep in mind that I am 15 years old.

I hope you enjoy!!!

[benny-the-spaceman]

DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGO MOVIE 1&2 CHARACTER HEADCANONS!?

HI ANON. YES. YES I DO.

A LOT ACTUALLY. I'll leave it the characters I do the most with for now BUT YES ANON I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS

Emmet:

Wasian (specifically japanese and white [totes not projecting])

Everything he likes is the most average response possible (basically canon) and people do use this constantly. If you want to know the most basic, agreeable sandwich to buy for someone you don't know, ask Emmet.

After TLM2, Emmet takes up gardening as a hobby. Of course he always had planty, but now he has an entire front garden. His favorite flowers are sunflowers and daisies.

Emmet is a surprisingly good singer! He doesn't sing much unless someone asks him too though. He was definitely in choir during high school.

Speaking of high school, Emmet was on the wrestling team. He never medalled or anything, but he was there.

Emmet has tried to learn other languages. That's the end of that conversation. He's monolingual.

The type of guy to make the most awkward jokes. Not in a weird way, just in an unfunny way. He tells those rly boring jokes that u at most half chuckle at but otherwise u just kinda stand there awkwardly and the conversation falls flat.

This isn't to say he *isn't* funny, he's just not funny when it comes to jokes. When he's just naturally speaking he's very entertaining to have conversations with.

Emmet is the master of pointless small talk.

Emmet's favorite food is waffles with whip cream and strawberries!

He secretly doesn't have his ACI certification but still handles concrete anyway. Tsk tsk

He's been in charge of a lot of reconstruction efforts after armamageddeon, really putting that construction background to use.

Emmet is wicked good at monopoly and uno but no one knows why.

He's tall and buff. this man is like pushing 6'7" and is jacked, that's hidden under a bit of chub though.

Emmet is a heavyweight drinker. No one knows why this is either. He can keep going for ages and he'll still act completely sober. Doesn't really like drinking though.

Benny:

Vietnamese

Youngest sibling haha, point and laugh

Not young though, this guy is like in his 50's

I am a firm believer in non-conventionally attractive Benny. Hair's a tangled mess, horrible fashion sense, you name it. Also he smells bad. No one has or probably will dissuade me from this. Sorry to mars specifically

Often spends days at a time working on projects, often with little to no sleep. When he focuses he *focuses*. This ties back to the previous statement about him.

Absolutely stacked education. Phd in aerospace engineering and a certified welder, mahcinist, pilot, and avionic technician. He does it all.

He may be smart but he is not a good cook. If he serves you glop do not eat it you will get the worst food poisoning of your life, Lord knows how he survives.

Has a pet miniature automated mirror cart named Castor. This is how he gets food and drink during his several day work periods.

Metalbeard is his best friend! They have Tuesday draft reviewing sessions where they show their latest ideas and critique each other. Despite the major differences in what they do, these critique sessions help both of them improve.

They also have tea parties with Unikitty. Unikitty tends to convince Metalbeard to participate in shenanigans and Metalbeard tends to force Benny into those same shenanigans. When those 3 are together it's an omen.

Metalbeard:

He's my favorite. The URL wouldn't make you think so but he is.

Wicked good dancer. The robotic body does not hinder his ability to do a fun little jig.

Metalbeard has had 3 ships, his parent's old ship, the first ship he built himself, and the sea cow.

He's stubborn as a mule. Once his head is set on something you will not convince him out of it.

Does not have any official education. He's a 15th century pirate for crying out loud.

Swears...Surprisingly little? He's a pirate so you'd expect him to have a pretty bad sailor mouth but no. He's pretty tame in that regard.

His favorite food is pineapple

Not a big risk-taker. Firm believer of calculated decision making. I mean it's in the rules of the sea: Always abandon a lost cause. He isn't looking for fights all willy nilly.

Old as shit. I covered it in my thread on Metalbeard's ship but based on the age of it he's several centuries old.

Unlike Benny, Metalbeard is quite good with and also quite likes newer technology. His 15th century currack has a steampipe coming out of it for a reason.

Knows Spanish and Portuguese.

When he was younger, he used to go fishing with his parents very often. He doesn't get to go as much now, but he tries to go fishing with them at least a couple times a year.

The one thing he misses the most about having his limbs is swimming. His present-day body being made of wood and metal doesn't it make it very amicable to swimming. He'd kill to paddle around in the ocean again.

Unikitty:

Incredibly mischievous. Has a habit of roping people into little pranks or games.

Eats mostly sugar

Misses her homeland often. She doesn't talk about it much, but she wishes constantly to have Cloud Cuckooland back. As much as she tries not to hold it against GCBC and Lord Business, she does.

Surprisingly strong. She can lift Metalbeard in his full robotic body like it's nothing.

Impromptu cuddles are her jam. If Unikitty is rushing towards you, it's a 50/50 shot of whether if she wants a hug or if she wants to tackle you like a linebacker.

Has a diary that she does not let anyone touch. Except Wyldstyle.

Her, Wyldstyle, and Mayhem have girls nights where they mostly just hang out build stuff together. They more or less are used for talking about their feelings, Wyldstyle started them after she realized none of them had particularly good outlets for their emotions.

Unikitty's tail is edible.

Sometimes Unikitty will glow if she's having a good day.

Unikitty can speak every language. She was just born that way.

Sometimes Unikitty feels as if people don't take her seriously, mostly on account of being a cat. This does bug her a lot but she tries not to let it get to her.

Unikitty's favorite thing to do is make people happy (:

She gives Benny haircare tips constantly and he ignores most of them much to her dismay.

Business:

Mr. Money Launderer

Wears really stupid graphic t-shirts with dad or golfing or fishing jokes on them.

His first name is Jolly! (I stole this one from superpeeboy, lol)

Cares A LOT about his appearance and is very meticulous. Wakes up at least an hour early to get ready.

OCD king. He really should do ERP therapy but he won't because there's absolutely nothing wrong with him how could you dare imply that.

Cheats at golf.

Gets all of his clothes ironed and drycleaned.

Absolutely not gay. Never. He'd never be gay. He doesn't know what you're talking about. He's normal. Not to say being gay isn't normal but he's not that. Totally. 100%. He isn't in denial

Does the white mom thing when they go to a restaurant and are like yknow what? I'm gonna be *bad* today.

Says he's 50 years young (I also stole this from superpeeboy)

Picky ass eater. Doesn't like spice and also really likes how mayo tastes but don't put too much mayo and his sandwich shouldn't have too much bread and why is the steak cooked so little and why does the meal have flavor but also why doesn't the meal have flavor.

Also here's some other posts of mine related to hcs I have. I really like. making headcanons.

How Masterbuilders Draft

Emmet Construction Certifications

One of My Favorite Post Chains Ever Please Look at All the Reblogs on This

Metalbeard's Ship

Emmet's Internal Clock

.

[captaincrumbz]

all your headcanons about Benny, GO

OKAY

Benny, Unikitty, and Metalbeard are terrible cooks but theyre even WORSE together.

Making hotdogs: Benny putting in random expired ingredients from the 80s + Astronaut food, Unikitty is adding a ton of sprinkles and frosting, and Metalbeard is making it a Hotdog Stew. It would be DISGUSTING but they would eat the whole thing and love it anyways

My dad told me how to make 'Hobo Pizzas' in the mircowave with no tomato sauce and putting the tortilla in the mircowave too. Benny would probably make those

He would LOVE Spaceballs and other shitty parody movies, he's eating popcorn while watching them too

Emmet thought of the idea of making a fix & repair workshop (Emmet & Benny's Build and Fix Workshop, that one set) Due to seeing him building spaceships in SECONDS and giving Metalbeard repairs (as seen in TLM2) The MOMENT Emmet mentioned spaceships Benny grabbed him by the shoulders and said "IM IN"

(If i end up writing the specialspaceship fanfic i WILL add that in there)

Benny would be good at games but ONLY if theyre from the 80s or Arcade games, he would get mad and rage quit on ABSOLUTELY any other games.

He (and like all of the other main characters) would call 911 to talk to Bad Cop, they dont even bother calling Bad Cop's actual number because 9-1-1 MIGHT AS WELL be his number

You could show him a super duper oddly specific obscure thing from the 80s and he would immediately know what it is and infodumps all about it. Then you could ask him a basic question like whats 2 x 4 and it would take him half of the time he was yapping to figure it out

He infodumps ALL of his knowledge on spaceships to anyone who is willing to listen, for HOURS AND HOURS it would just be nonstop. Im sure it would make him feel bad though if he realized the person he's talking to wasn't actually listening. And if they were listening hes quite literally bouncing off the walls in joy

He would make gestures with his hands a lot while talking, especially near someone like Metalbeard who also makes a TON of gestures

Metalbeard slaps and hits people when laughing, he slaps Benny and Benny (whos already in the air) goes flying, this happens on multiple occasions

When Benny hugs people he squeezes them and lifts them off of the ground slightly or ends up getting carried away and spins them around a little

I see a lot of debate on if benny has a ton of messy hair or what color it is, i think he is is BALD!!!!!!!

(nothing is wrong with bald people guys!!!!!!!! let him be bald!!!!!!!)

THESE ARE ALL I CAN REMEMBER RIGHT NOWWW

[ask-the-tlm-deities]

How tall are each of you?

🌾 7'5"

🗡 7'1"

🪡 5'10"

✨️ On all fours I'm 3'3" but if I stand on my hind legs I'm even taller than Metalbeard!

☀️ 5'8"

⚓️ 7'9"

💠 6' even.

🪙 5'11"...

📜 6'3"!

💀 Also 6'3"

🌑 5'9"

🛶 6'2"