#messy tho you can tell i didnt bust my ass on this one

[waltzing-rats]

Y’all are never escaping em!!

[renjingujifortheladies]

Ryo was changing a shirt in the office only half turning when Masamura brought in the cashier for the day to put its content into the safe and log it into accounting.

 the older male didnt say a word only took an oversized shirt on his unwashed skin that started to show yellow patches at his creases. he pulled his unwashed matted greasy hair into a messy bundle without a care how it looked and sat by his desk with a dazed expression starting to count the money and put in the amount to accounting with the receipts. he counted out masamuras monthly pay and printed a sheet of paper as a receipt for them about the transaction. he put a pen on the papers and the money aside. 

“you know... it might be that i seem like a joke to you... I try my hardest to find a way where we wont be in an inferior /superior relationship. when you said you wanted to date i was super happy. i mean. i really overloaded. because I thought 3 step ahead of the time. that 3 step when i get my balls busted by the government. thats why ive thought on co-owning and not be an employee/employer. i clearly fucked up. because I didnt say yes, I’d love to date and I want you to mess me up and sleep in my bed and exchange lovers present on christmas and valentines day and all the stuff im actually really into and get extremely sad if i miss out on them even tho i know its just commercial scam. for the past few days ive never felt more distant from you. i feel like... nevermind.” like hell he would admit his suicidal and depression tendencies to Masamura who has already heard enough of his pitiful past. “I would love to go out with you if you really like me for me... if you feel like you could love me. i would love to receive and resonate that happiness. you have no idea how much the past year meant for me. how much you mean to me. its crippling to be unable to talk to you normally and when you look at me like im some dirt I feel like i could just crawl under the earth and stay there. I love you so much... and i feel like nothing else matters... but then im terrified of ruining your life. I dont want to be the sexually exploiting bar owner who will get his ass sued by state and has to shut down and jeopardize your job. I dont care about myself. ive already slept on the central station and had to rough it out. but I dont want you to ruin your life.  so the way ive reacted wasnt right but we still really have to be equal. I want to be equal with you. and i know that you can do it and i would love to be there to be your safe space and warm meals and cozy bed and unlimited blowjobs. thats what i meant by the crazy amount of research ive done and pushed onto you instead of replying with a yes, i would love to date you and do all sorts of things with you. “

 he wheezed from talking fast and without stopping much and just jumbling his words out to tell everything he felt. he just couldnt hold it in anymore. he had this one shot at trying to make up for how stupidly he worded everything. even if now his hair that smelled of the bar was disheveled and falling out of the bundle, even if he looked like a crazy person and not a respectable business owner, disappearing pathetically in the big chair behind the classy big desk. looking out of place and his nerves a wreck from skipped meals and sleepless nights he didnt realize he was gripping the two sheet of paper he just printed nervously crumpling their sides.

@atryhard

[survivor-islands-of-adventure]

EPISODE 10

Final Words (idk if you guys do this): Welp, there I go. Second member of the jury, again... at least I'm consistent. I felt this coming on in all honesty, but I hoped it would've turned out differently. That's why I fought as hard as I did, and I wish it didn't get that ugly, but at the end of the day, I'm sure we're all still friends. Nothing but love and respect for this game and them. I really tried not to be the guy calling out the shots this time, but I sorta devolved back into that by the end. That's just who I am, I live hard and I die hard, and I'm starting to realize that's nothing to be ashamed of! ...It just doesn't make me a very good Survivor player.

I HAVE got to win this comp or I am toast... no way in hell im winning stab... I have been playing very hard this season, especially the last 2 rounds.. I orchestrated timmys boot and (thought) I did a good job at getting mark out.. but BLINDSIDED @ CHRIS STONER. I am now literally clawing my way from the bottom. I love it honestly. I love playing from the bottom. it brings out the absolute best in me in all aspects. it makes my bust my ass off to win comps, talk people's ears off and become friends, and hopefully cause some big fckn rifts in this game. im ready for it

Honestly I’m in a rough spot. I love drew and I love pat and I just want the 3 of us to work together but it’s just not compatible. I should probably try to like work something out or I’m gonna be the one to fall for it. Here’s to praying I don’t have to win out immunities to get to the end! 

God I hope Ricky gets okay. I really want Karen to somehow get stoner to play his idol on her and make a big move and vote out Madison or even Sammy or even mark or even Chelsea.....god can we get a big move in here???? I’ll keep working on it, but I gotta vote sometime and it still seems up in the air! Fuck I don’t see a real point in Karen going home...she’s not the best at challenges and she doesn’t give the best side game spirit if Ricky isn’t here (ALSO SHES FREE FROM ALLIANCES)! 

this round is a mess. I was highboy annoyed about the challenge bc we had to restart after I already took out Madison and Pat which restarting made it unfair to me bc I had already stabbed people who could of easily just gunned for me.  Drew ended up winning one challenge and Dan won the other. Shocker.  I am just annoyed and want to disassociate myself with all of my alliances.  Mark is a stubborn player and it is very hard working with him bc he does not understand most thing and I have to repeat it. Also if he wants someone out he makes sure he has to vote that person.  I have heard Madison, Chelsea, Mark, Stoner, and Tracey's name this round.  Personally I was on board for the whole split the vote on stoner and Tracey to get rid of the idol and take out someone who I am not as close to.  Very annoyed tho bc Drew just wants all the power and to not vote minority and he is also very hard to work with.  I love him but in this game he is just crazy. He wants Chelsea gone for the fact that he knows he can't work with her and that she is a social threat.  This is dumb to me bc I do not feel Chelsea is the biggest threat in this game but whatevvvvaaa.  Then I am having problems in my own alliance of Me, Mark, and Pippa.  Pippa does not want Tracey and Mark does.  Literally nobody can work together. Moral of the story: everyone is crazy.

this game is so fucking messy ive had it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so to catch yall up, the tribal was gonna be a double one and wheeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww bitch i was panicking and it was madness and people were lying and i couldnt figure out the split but i think somehow we almost wouldve had mark leaving??????????/ but i wouldve probably left too???????????? or ricky wouldve??????? idk so yeah it was hectic, i was proposing a billion different splits with the villains and yeah. but then ricky has an emergency :/ so he needs to get medevaced and i come to the realization that im gonna be the vote this time and a split will be next to impossible as most people (the heroes) didnt seem to be budging but like i dont talk to them so what do i know djfvdhfvnjdsfvbkj anyway i figured since i was being voted out anyway i might as well just stir the pot a bit which was fun and people were entertained, so yeah i go into ultra panic mode and me and drew and stoner are like what the fuck are we gonna do???????/ so i decide to start talking to some people - charlie and sammy -  and they both seemed like they wanted to keep me so sammy concocts a plan to split the vote between me and make sure stoner doesnt play the idol and so he tells dan about this plan and dan makes a chat with me drew and stoner saying that with this split we will be able to vote together to potentially get someone out, he wanted sammy but it could be pat or madison too and that would mean itd tie 4-4-2 or 4-4-1-1 but then i talk to charlie bc she wants to cause chaos too ig and i explain my situation and shes like aight ill vote with  yall so now were trying to figure out the vote and tribal starts in 4 minutes and idk whos getting elimed but its gonna be a fun night

whew okay SO I won immunity again and it's a double triballllll so like shit's going down, I can FINALLY get someone out, and then catastrophe strikes, Rickens my love my fellow winner who I have NOT seen eye to eye with but who at least understood the value of keeping me in, had to leave due to a family emergency and made the tribal back into a single. I'm trying so hard on so many different angles to make SOMETHING happen this round and I genuinely don't think I'm gonna manage it but honestly it was beautiful while it lasted. Rip Tracey McKaren or Stoner, it's been a time. Also I definitely do have that idol that could be saving you but that truly does belong to me, sorry bout it. I'm still fucked, we all know it, but I'll take an extra round. After all I earned it by having AT find one number for me and Dan finding another.

so i think the vote will be for madison, im ready for this blindside

This week being a double elimination week seemed actually simpler because of wanting to vote for ricky and tracey to get them both out. And then with ricky quitting it made things a little messier with there being only one so it changed how everything was gonna go. I feel good about the split of the idols with the threat of chris ebing there and the threat of tracey against the heroes. so i think even with ll the changes this week will be decent for us

This round is effing nuts. I decided to vote tracey because i wanted chris to flush the idol and tracey go home. I had heard that drew, Tracey, sammy, and chris mentioned my name in some way so I was really worried about my safety. Now im worried because chris didn't use his idol, but i honestly don't even know if he has one.