#messing with my mental health for real ❗️❗️

[serikatz]

trying to act sooooo nonchalant rn im so upset 😭 like sighhh

this will be my undoing!!! Tbh!! if you’re gonna tell me to

TW

slit my wr…. Can you at least spell it correctly!!! what is wrislts!!!

[lc0xperience]

Introducing myself 😶

Hi 👋  

I’m lc0. I’m male, 24 years old and live in Germany. This is the first time in my life that I attempt to start a blog and it does feel rather strange😅.

I’m not using my real name because I really need to feel anonymous if I want to talk about my feelings honestly here 👤. Not that I have to hide anything serious, I just don't like the thought of someone I know figuring out this is me, even if the chance is pretty tiny 👀.

I should probably talk about the reason for me starting this blog. Mainly this blog is for myself. I honestly don't know how many people will find my site because I never really used this platform and I would’t be surprised if nobody ever reads this. But for me that's not really important. The most important thing is to just put my thoughts and feeling out there 🌍. 

I have written a private ‘diary’ 📔 for the past two 6 years or so now. It was never a regular thing but it really helped me to start confronting my feelings in a more honest and meaningful way then when I just have those random thoughts running through my head 💭. There was a time that I really needed this tool to confront my inner problems and it helped A LOT. Fortunately I've been doing a little better in the last 6 months and so I started to write less and less, maybe only once or twice a month 🗓. 

When thinking or writing about my life I always had that desire to put my personal experience out there and share it with the world 🙇🏼‍♂️. That's not really a surprise since I have always been seeking the comfort of groups and the attention. The problem was, or rather is, that I have a lot of insecurities and I was never really able to express my true feelings to my friends and families (or the public) 😐. For this reason I always kept them to myself and I also developed a serious habit to deny my true emotional state because I felt ashamed 🚫♥️ . This caused a real pressure building up inside of me and it was only with around 1️⃣8️⃣ years that started to confront this issue by being honest with myself at least. Now I want to break out of my routine and start to open up bit by bit. My second step was me telling mom 🙎🏼‍♀️ and then a therapist 👨🏻‍⚕️about it. There was also one friend 🙎🏻‍♂️with similar issues that I had conversations with. This relieved much of the tension and at this point I want to give any person who might read this the advice that it is always better to share your problems with someone instead of keeping them all for yourself, it will change your life (for the better) ❗️ Now I want to go one step further and start this blog 📔. 

So this is the short version of how I got here. Now the question what is going to happen in this little corner of the internet ⁉️ To be honest I don't really know at the moment. My plan 🗺 is to write about stuff that is important to me for some reason. I guess it is going to be more focused on my feelings and mental health but I don't want to put myself in any constraints so this might get a little random from time to time 😁. My only goal is to maintain a somewhat regular habit of writing down what's on my mind and putting a little bit of order into that mess🗑.  

So...if you are interested in hearing some random stranger on the internet whine and theorize about life that this might be for you 😄. I think this little text will be sufficient for the beginning. I wish everyone a good night 🌌.