#messaged her earlier this week & havent heard anything back

[sweetteaswift]

hmmmm looking like i wont be able to take my adhd meds to london w me

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[shadowed-moonrise]

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

uh

uh

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

like

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

hi

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

oh

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

:(

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

:(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

oh

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

uh

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:(

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:(

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

mm

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

uh

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

uh

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

[barelynakedthoughts]

The past few days have been filled. On Wednesday, we went and did our blood work to see how the hCG levels were increasing. We more than tripled! Went from 536 to 1822 mIU/mL. It all but screamed "you're pregnant!" I wasnt that excited when I heard, though. Well I was, but I had this terrible pain in my lower right abdomen, pelvis and groin. My little ovaries were tender to touch, too. So my celebration was quiet and my worry was loud.

I had sent a message to my doctor on Tuesday asking whether that pain was normal or not, and the nurse's response was it should be fine. Her only catch was that if it didn't go away, we should get back to them as soon as possible.

Well it didn't go away. In fact, it got quite worse over the next day and into the next morning. This whole week I've been waking up anywhere from 430-6a, which is way earlier than normal, because I've been in pain or because I'm worrying too much. On Thursday, I messaged them again and said the pain was continual. They called me very early in the morning to schedule more bloodwork to test for hCG levels as well as an ultrasound. They wanted me in that day. So I immediately called my boss and said, "I need to go to the doctor now." My boss has been understanding of this process and she's the only one in the office who really knows what my husband and I have been doing for two years.

At 1030a, I got my third prick in my arm and stood by to find out when my ultrasound would be. Then at 11, my husband and I went back for my third ultrasound in a month. I got changed nervously and with worry on my mind. My side was still hurting and then I laid down, constipation and all. She searched for a bit but I couldnt see anything. My husband was looking, though, and I saw his eyes get inquisitive. It was soon my turn to see. She moved the screen to face me and there they were...there was our little poppyseed in my uterus. Not in my tubes. Not in the wrong spot.

I'm not having an ectopic pregnancy!

So then I wondered why my stomach was still hurting - possible onset of a miscarriage? I havent been bleeding so why am I in so much pan? The technician panned over to my ovary and there was black hole on the screen. Apparently, I have a 29 mm cyst. It's great...super painful, super large. Just my luck! Yet honestly, it's the best news I've had in a while. This is the best option of some pretty rough ones. So I'll deal with the pain!

The technician went back to the poppyseed that she labeled as a sac and I cried. I don't cry in front of people very often and I've been pretty coy with the doctors. In that moment, relief is all I felt. It was a load off my shoulders and my heart was filled with joy. Over the past few days, my smile came back. For two years, I sobbed over the imaginary empty rooms in our future home that might not ever be filled because we couldn't get pregnant. Sure we want to adopt anyways, but infertility really does a number on your brain. So on Thursday, I found myself answering "yes" to getting a picture of our small sac cluster sitting in my uterus.

When we left the doctor's office, I drove us straight to my mom's work and I told her. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore, especially from my mom who I tell everything to. She jumped, she smiled. We talked for a while and I shed a few tears. I've waited for that moment for a long time...and it finally happened. Later in the evening, I went and told my dad at home so my mom didn't have to keep a secret for long. No one else knows and that's how we're keeping it for a while. Just in case something goes wrong, I want my parents there for support because it would be hard to handle that on our own. We will tell everyone else soon gradually. Just need a bit more confirmation.

I still fear miscarriage but I'm telling myself to trust in God. To hold tight to His plan and His care. If we're holding a little one in our arms in May, it is not because of anything we do. We can eat all the right foods and take all the precautions, but things could still go wrong. So instead of always focusing on the bad, I'm trying to embrace being pregnant. I'm going to worry and I'm going to get upset. It's only natural! So for now, I remain thankful for this pregnancy and hopeful. I even made little crocheted booties!

This past week, besides the abdominal pain, I've been exhausted, constipated and bloated. My breasts don't feel as tender as they did last week and I'm not really nauseated at all, just an upset stomach here and there. Though my face has been reddening -looking flushed and feeling warm. I think I'm getting used to the progesterone pills, which I have to take for a few more months, and with implantation being done, I'm now just waiting to see what kind of symptoms this pregnancy will bring. I'm excited to experience all of this because we've waited for so long...and we might not get another chance.

Anyways, our little poppyseed blossomed into a peppercorn today!

We're going shopping tomorrow to get food to help my body support this child better. Next Thursday, we going back for another ultrasound to see if both the yolk sac and gestational sac can be seen. Hopefully! Seeing both of those things should be a sign of a positively progressing pregnancy. Of course, we'll get another picture I hope. Then when we get to the 8 week ultrasound, we'll go in for our final appointment with the fertility specialist. The week after the 8 week ultrasound, we go see our OBGYN and start our regularly appointments with her. Who knows what will happen after that, but we'll see! As long as our little peppercorn is still growing healthily, then the three of us will be content.

[hellish-summoner]

She Who is Bound to Silence

Heca isn’t too sure about how to feel about this Corrin she summoned.

On one hand, she looks like Crescent, the Corrin she had already befriended, just with a different outfit fit for a songstress.

On the other hand, she hasn’t heard a single word from the dragon, and she has such a sad look in her eyes.

Instead of trying to dig for information, Heca decides to give the golden dragon some space, makes sure she has a comfortable room to retreat to. Even then, no one can get the Corrin to say a word, and when they get her to write instead, she writes few words, sticking to basic things, like asking for tactics or for directions to places.

After a couple of weeks of this, Heca finds a lone mask sitting outside in the gardens many heroes relax in, close to a pond, likely accidentally forgotten earlier in the day when she called all of her heroes for a meeting to discuss how to defeat the King of Muspell. The Manakete looked over the mask, noting that it was of a fox, and was painted a deep blue with gold and white details. 

“This.....is likely missed; but whose mask is this? No one here wears a fox mask...” Heca mumbled, gently putting the mask into one of her cloak pockets before continuing on with what she was actually doing; someone would come looking for it eventually and likely ask her about it, right...?

-----------------

The Golden Dragon had gone to the meeting and then left to go back to her own room without noticing, but very quickly afterwards, she realized that she was missing a special mask she normally kept in her room. She mentally scolded herself for even taking it out, now that she lost it; even though she took it out with her to the gardens simply because she wanted to take a walk down memory lane....

She made an annoyed sound once she actually checked the garden, not finding any sign of the missing mask, and just heading back to her room. She promised Akagi that if she gave her that mask, that she wouldn’t lose it.... Well, at least the kitsune can’t find out while the dragon is still here.

Speaking of Akagi....The dragon quickly made sure her door was locked before digging in her drawers for a unfamiliar device to all but her and the summoner; a phone. She could generally get lucky enough to be able to send a couple of messages to her world. She needed to.

She was a commander after all.

She sat down on her bed and began to check to see what messages those under her gave her during the day. They all knew she left a couple of people in charge, but she was still messaged plenty during the day. She smiled at the messages though, despite the fact it meant she had to think over this sort of thing without physically seeing it; partly she liked being relied on. Partly she liked the fact she got a lot of them to call her something over than ‘Commander’.

‘Vallite, we are running low on skill books; should we order more?’ A yes for sure; with a side note to make sure they also make sure the equipment and food stocks are at good levels.

‘Should we scout out multiple areas?’ Of course; she makes a note for them to check where they recovered Akagi at least once in case anything new can be recovered.

‘Should we continue with the retrofits for Laffey and Ayanami?’ Oh, she must ask how long until those are complete; those two are some of the best ships she has recovered, so she does want to make sure she can help them become strong.

‘Vallite’, as her allies and friends back home called her, just continued to smile at all the messages; besides the questions given, the chat server they used to communicate also had a channel just to post supportive messages for each other; a fair number were encouragement for Vallite since she was stuck in an unfamiliar place, but a lot were also for the different groups, or ‘fleets’, going out.

She would of stopped from reading to continue her search for that missing mask if she didn’t notice she had a direct message from what was basically her current flagship, Amagi. So instead, she decided to see what she wanted first before leaving her phone alone again.

‘Crescent, are you alright? The others told me that you haven’t been talking much.’ Ah, she was just making sure the dragon was alright; it made Vallite happy to know someone wanted to make sure she was alright.

‘I’m fine, Amagi. I’m getting more quiet as I feel like you guys are settling into a routine while I’m still gone. And I have been busy. But I’ll be fine. Feel free to message me if you want, my dear friend.’

She waited for the kitsune to respond for a moment, before setting her phone aside to continue her search, missing the message that was in reply to her.

‘Do make sure to rest, Crescent; don’t want to end up dying before you can see my sister again. And don’t worry, we have gotten a good routine set up for until your return. Hopefully you don’t end up making anyone wait for you, given that you have us check for where Kaga might be recovered sometimes.’

----------

Heca had retired to her room, writing down some possible new spells onto pieces of paper for later testing, with the lost fox mask sitting on her desk alongside all her papers The Hellish Summoner’s focus only broke when she heard a knock on her door, followed by silence for a few moments, and then another knock.

“The door’s unlocked! Come in!”

The summoner didn’t even look up for her papers as she heard her door open and close, nor as she heard footsteps. Only when she saw a gloved hand reach out and take the mask she had sitting on her desk did she turn to look at the Hero who entered. The Corrin herself was looking over the mask, before looking....relieved.

“Is that yours?”

The Corrin nodded, turning to leave now that she found what she was looking for, before feeling the Summoner grab her arm.

“Hey, stay for a bit; I’m curious about you. And don’t worry; I got paper.”

The dragon stood there for a moment, before nodding and taking a seat on Heca’s bed, accepting the paper and pen the Summoner handed her.

“Now.....What’s your name?”

‘Crescent Shimizu. But many call me Vallite, which I would prefer.’

“Alright.....Nice to finally know a name for you, Vallite. Now....Why are you so quiet?”

‘I can’t speak without hurting my throat. It’s always been like that; I envy Lady Crescent and her ability to speak, but I’m used to finding other ways to get my point across.’

“Oh.....That explains a lot. Hopefully your fellow Heroes don’t mind it much; you might get along with a friend of mine, he likes being quiet, so maybe you can find a way to do a silent conversation with him. Now....What’s with the mask?” Heca gestured to the fox mask Vallite had in her lap. “I have never seen you wear anything like that.”

The dragon stared at the paper for a while before starting to write finally. ‘It’s a memento of someone I loved. I never got a chance to tell her such while I still could, but one of her sisters told me to never lose this mask so I always have a way to remember her. Her sister said that she thinks she loved me back, but I sadly could never ask the woman herself.’

“Oh, a lost love......I hope you find her again; maybe I’ll summon her, and then you can give her a big ol’ smooch.”

‘No?? Kaga would likely punch me if I just suddenly kissed her! Though, giving her a kiss isn’t bad sounding...’

“I was kidding, don’t worry, but you really should consider admitting your feelings if you see her again.”

‘Not sure on that; Kaga was always wanting to be strong, and felt that if you wanted something, you better make sure you are strong enough to earn it. Not sure how strong she would see someone who can’t speak at all.’

“....Girl. You are as physically strong as Crescent. And seem to be a full dragon; I think you are plenty strong enough to sweep that woman you love off her feet. And you can turn into a dragon; if your human form ain’t strong enough to impress, turn into a dragon and show off your power.”

Vallite let out a weak laugh before writing her response. ‘I don’t think that is how kitsunes court each other, but ok then.’

“Oh hell yeah, that is how you impress a beast; you show that you are strong, that you would be a good mate and would make good offspring. Appeal to her primal side as well as her gentler side.”

‘Yeah, I think I will stick to my own way, but thank you, Heca.’

“Oh, calling me just Heca?”

‘I hate being called ‘Commander’ back where I’m from, I assumed you hated being called Summoner. Please, do not think I’m disrespecting you.’

Heca just gets a big grin on her face and laughs. “Oh, I love it! A mutual respect between leaders! Wait, if you are a commander......Say, can you provide me any tips?”

‘I don’t want to keep you distracted for long; or use up too much of your paper or ink.’

“It’s fine! Besides, I can keep them as notes after.”

‘If you say so. Well....My first tip is to make sure you get to know all who are under you at least a bit, and make sure they know that you are there as both a commander and friend; at least, that’s how I handle my fleets. My allies might be seen as weapons by some, but first and foremost, before they are my allies in battle, they are people just like myself.’

“Oh, making sure you know how your allies are as people!”

The two spend a good part of the night talking about how to lead effectively....

--------

A few days later....

Heca was making a quick summon just at random, wanting to see if she got lucky. “Ok, how about......this one; hopefully I get one of those beasts finally.....”

The Summoner loaded the orb into the summongun, before firing towards the stone altar to start the ritual, noticing the stone pulse before glowing. “That’s a good sign that I might of-”

The Summoner was quickly knocked over by someone just punching her at full force, before looking at the summoned Hero.

She noticed the more modern outfit, and the glare the woman bore, likely out of aggression. This might be rough......

But also she noticed.....Two white fox ears......nine white fox tails behind the woman.

A fox mask; different from the one Vallite had, but still a fox mask.

This was a kitsune, or specifically a Nine-Tails. Maybe also the one Vallite loved.

............But first, Heca would have to get this fox to obey long enough to listen to an explanation.

The fact the kitsune punched her again at full force when she tried to approach told the Summoner that this would be a long process.

[samanthasroberts]

Fateful night: a young woman is dead, her Tinder date charged with murder

New Zealand tourist Warriena Wright met up with Gable Tostee in fun-loving Surfers Paradise. A few hours later she plunged 14 storeys to her death

Warriena Wright was visiting the Gold Coast in Australia when she matched on Tinder with Gable Tostee. They met up in the popular tourist nightspot of Surfers Paradise on a Thursday night and bought a six-pack of beer after spending a few minutes in a pub.

By the end of the date Wright was dead, having plunged 14 storeys from the balcony of Tostees apartment, and two years later he is on trial in Queenslands supreme court charged with her murder.

The case centres around a 199-minute mobile recording made by Tostee which captured the fractious and ultimately fatal course of the pairs evening together, including the moment Wright fell to her death.

It is the key piece of evidence in the supreme court trial of Tostee, 30, who was standing on the other side of a locked glass door the moment Wright fell.

And the recording is cited by the crown as demonstration of his guilt, and by the defence as vindication of his innocence.

The pair had met that night, 7 August 2014, after making contact via Tinder a week earlier.

Wright, 26, from New Zealand, was in Australia to attend a friends wedding as part of a two-week vacation that included skydiving and a room in a hotel in Surfers Paradise, near where Tostee lived.

CCTV shown to the court captured their meeting on Cavill Avenue in Surfers Paradise, where they exchanged a hug.

They went to a pub but stayed only a few minutes before deciding to head back to Tostees apartment nearby, stopping at a bottle shop to buy a six-pack of beer.

Inside the apartment, Tostee says they later had sex in his bed.

Warriena Wright and Gable Tostee pose for photos together on the balcony of his 14th floor Surfers Paradise apartment. Photograph: Supplied

They then went out to his balcony where they posed for photos together, Wright pulling faces, Tostee standing beside her bare-chested.

Wrights last contact with family was a Facebook message to a sister, in which she reports having found a man who was the Australian answer to Sam Winchester, the Supernatural TV actor.

At 1am on 8 October, unbeknown to Wright, Tostee pressed record on a mobile phone in his pocket. He wouldnt turn it off until 199 minutes later. By then Wright was dead.

Tostee, having left the building via a basement carpark but still apparently unaware of her fate as police milled around the building, had called his father who urged him to contact a leading criminal lawyer. He had then eaten a pizza.

The crown case is that Tostee, who had locked Wright out on the balcony after their night had deteriorated into verbal and physical altercations, had left Wright in such a state of fear and intimidation that she felt compelled to flee.

When Wrights attempt to climb down from the balcony went horribly awry, Tostee was thus responsible for her death, the prosecution contends.

The prosecutor, Glen Cash, told the court in his opening address that at the very least Tostee meant to cause Wright grievous bodily harm, causing her to flee, resulting in her death.

Cash said Tostees recording captured a moment where sounds were consistent with him choking or strangling Wright. She pleaded to be allowed to go home before repeatedly screaming no as he shoved her on to the balcony and shut the door.

Defence lawyers for Tostee, who has pleaded not guilty, deny any attempt by Tostee to strangle Wright.

His barrister, Saul Holt, has told the court that Tostee used reasonable force to subdue Wright, who had grown increasingly erratic while drinking heavily. She had taken to randomly, with no apparent provocation, hitting Tostee, threatening violence, throwing ornamental rocks one of his interior decorations at his head and hitting him with the clamp of his telescope.

Holt argued that Tostee, after tackling Wright to the floor and forcing her on to the balcony, put them both in a position of safety by shutting the door.

Tostee was entitled to lock the door on someone who was violent and disorderly, Holt submitted.

Gable Tostee arrives at the supreme court in Brisbane on Friday. Photograph: Dan Peled/AAP

She is outside, he is inside and he has caused a locked door to be between the two of them, Holt told the court.

What happened in this case is nothing like murder or manslaughter. It doesnt fit.

Holt said the fact that the critical part of the evening was recorded on Tostees phone meant there was very little in dispute between the crown and the defence apart from the allegation about choking her, which was in absolute dispute, and his culpability for her death.

The audio recording, which was discovered by police on a Sony Xperia phone they found in Tostees fathers car, has been released by the court.

It captures an early morning conversation awkwardly traversing topics from architecture to religion, as James Blunt and Kanye West play in the background.

The talk is punctuated by Tostees occasional cries of Ow! as Wright punches him. He tells her to chill and have a drink.

You love beating me up like a Kiwi, Tostee says. Wright tells him she beats people up all the time.

Tostee quips that he will end up looking like a piece of tenderised meat if she keeps hitting him.

She asks him if he can tell her mother shes not a loser. She talks about her dog that died, her belief in justice and the afterlife.

Tostee says: We die. Thats it. Throw me off the balcony. He talks of three things that are really good on this Earth: food, sleep and sex.

He says there are no gods. She says: Ive seen stuff though.

Wright tells him: I am going to go vampire on your arse.

Tostee yells Ow! again. Hes still laughing. Wrights speech starts to lose its coherence. She shouts Forrest Gump repeatedly, then Im a ninja its not funny. More cries of Ow! from Tostee.

She goes to leave and he asks her if she wants him to walk her back to her apartment. The music stops and Wright asks where her belongings are. Tostee offers to call her mobile phone. She accuses Tostee of stealing her phone and handbag and an argument breaks out.

Wheres my fucking shit? I will fucking destroy your jaw. Its not fucking funny. Im going to call the police.

Tostee says: I should have never given you so much to drink. I thought we were going to have fun. I dont deserve this shit. Im a nice fucking guy.

Tostee finds her phone and calm returns. Wright says she has money in NZ and gets taken advantage of.

Tostee asks her: Do you even remember what you were doing to me half an hour ago? You were beating me up for no reason. You thought it was funny.

He suggests she sit down for a second so we can discuss.

Ive met some weird people off Tinder. Im the most tolerant person in the world, he said.

Wright says she would help anyone in need. Tostee says shes a bit violent though.

Wright talks about taking a look out the window, and Tostee tells her: Dont jump off or anything.

Wright shrieks help in a mock high-pitched voice, adding that shes only joking. Tostee tells her the men in white coats are coming.

Youre kind of mental, but in a really cute way, he tells her.

Wright goes to the bathroom and Tostee whispers into his phone: God help me. Shit.

Wright returns. Slurring her words, she begins whispering to Tostee about Sam, later exhorting him to: Bow down to Sam.

He yells Ouch then Ill bow down.

That signals Tostees apparent switch from annoyance to anger.

He tells her: Thats more than enough. Youve worn out your welcome. Youre not my kind of girl. You have to leave.

The balcony of Gable Tostees 14th floor Surfers Paradise apartment. Photograph: Dan Peled/AAP

In Tostees account, his tackling of Wright to the floor of the apartment follows her striking him with a telescope.

The prosecution claims that is when the sound consistent with Tostee choking Wright can be heard, which he denies.

You are lucky I havent chucked you off my balcony, you goddamn psycho little bitch, he says.

Who the fuck do you think I am? Yeah, do your muay thai now.

Wright, her mouth sounding muffled, says he is sexist.

Im the one whos injured. You dont have a goddamn scratch on you, Tostee says.

I thought you were just playing around. But youre psycho. Goddamn psycho.

Im going to let you go, Im going to walk you out of this apartment just the way you are. Youre not going to collect any of your belongings or anything, youre just going to walk out and Im going to slam the door on you. You understand? If you try and pull anything Ill knock you out. Ill knock you the fuck out.

Tostee tells Wright to get up.

Im sorry, Wright says.

I dont care. Get up, Tostee says.

Tostee, apparently still restraining Wright, tells her over and over: You dont understand do you?

You think you can hit me and I just fall down like in the movies?

Wright tells him repeatedly to Let go.

Tostee: Who the fuck do you think you are?

Wright: No, no, no, no

Tostee: You trying to kill me, huh? Whyd you try and hit me with that, huh?

Wright is screaming no over and over again.

This is all on recording you know. Its all being recorded, Tostee says.

Wright pleads: Just let me go home.

Tostee says: I would but youve been a bad girl.

The glass door clicks shut and Wrights screams fade. Tostee sighs. Less than 20 seconds pass when Wright screams as she slips from the balcony rail.

Tostees barrister, Holt, in his opening address on Monday, told the jury the moment when the screaming Wright was being locked on the balcony was a horrible one to listen to because you know what comes next.

But the recording contained a sequence of events that would bear out his clients innocence of her murder, Holt argued.

It really is, all in the recording, he said.

The trial continues.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/fateful-night-a-young-woman-is-dead-her-tinder-date-charged-with-murder/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/fateful-night-a-young-woman-is-dead-her-tinder-date-charged-with-murder/

[dudeeveryoneishot]

i just need to talk real quick about how shitty of a weekend im having because i am super emotional and i have no one to talk to.

I have 3 friends, my friend H is on vacation in seattle washington for the next week and i know hes having a great time but im kinda jealous and i wish he was here. my best friend V moved 20 hours away this summer so I never get to see her and I really miss her. She’s at a party tonight.

My 3rd friend is B, one of my closest friends from high school who i had a crush on for 3 like years split up with his girlfriend a few months ago. then one drunken night a month ago we ended up hooking up. we talked about it afterwards and we became kind of a thing. i went to visit him 2 weeks ago because he is in school 3 hours away, and we spent the whole weekend together and it was really lovely. then the next weekend (last weekend) B came up to visit and he was supposed to be coming to my apartment with 2 of our acquaintances and he bailed without saying anything and spent the whole day with another girl and he ended up fucking her. so then im like heartbroken and feeling really fucked over that he would do something like that to me after we’ve known each other for 5 years. 

my mom and dad left thursday and wont be back until sunday so i am on our farm in the middle of nowhere, completely alone. They went to go visit my brother who is in the military and they are all going to the military ball together. my dad is retired military so he could go and my mom is his plus one and then my sister in law is my brothers. i didnt have anyone so i couldnt go and they didnt even bother to ask if i wanted to go and just stay at the hotel for the ball itself. i just feel so left out. i know they are going to be going out to eat and having all kinds of fun together and im stuck feeding the chickens. i havent seen my brother in like 5 months and i wont be able to see him until christmas.  

so i was gonna throw a party tonight with B. i was still upset with him but we’ve been friends for so long i wasnt going to cut him off completely and I wanted to have a chance to talk to him in person about what happened. so we invite our entire friend group from high school and a couple others. they all say they are coming so i start getting my house ready. then, 2 hours before its supposed to begin, they all call B one by one and say they cant make it. great. 

so im really bummed out. then B and i decide that the two of us and his brother would come to my house anyways and drink and watch stupid movies. He was supposed to let me know when they were going to be coming over but said it would probably be around 8. so i wait. and wait. and i never hear anything. I shoot him a message at like 7:30 asking if they are coming and he leaves me on read. So at 8:30 I call him. I cant understand anything he’s saying because he keeps breaking up. I send him a couple more messages and he doesn’t answer my question. So I ask his brother whats up and he doesnt know either. So I tell his brother to keep me updated. 10:15 rolls around and i havent heard anything so i ask the brother if I should just assume they arent coming and he replies “probably”. 

i just dont understand why he would just bail on me like that (like he did fucking last weekend) when we have been friends for so fucking long. like it would have taken 2 seconds to message me and say “hey something came up im sorry we cant come”. instead he leaves me on read and never tells me whether he is coming or not and i’m forced to message his little brother to finally get an answer. like thats so fucking rude. i feel like i have no idea who he is anymore. idk if i’ve always just been purposefully blind to his issues because i had a crush on him and the way he has acted in the past week is just who he truly is or what.  I just really need to stop attaching myself to people who I know are selfish and shitty acting and then being surprised when they are selfish and shitty acting

so now im here. completely alone, all my plans haven fallen through. idk im so lonely and upset and i cant talk to H about it because he is super excited about his vacation and in a good mood and I dont want to bother him, V is at a party and drunk, and B is the cause for most of my sorrow and he isnt responding to me. I even tried to message my mom despite our non existent relationship and she said she needed to go to bed about 3 replies in.

and im going to be alone until sunday.

oh and ive got our propane heater thing on and it smelt a lot like gas in here earlier and now im kinda dizzy so im lowkey hoping i die of carbon monoxide poisoning. at least that’s a death that wont make my family look bad or feel guilty. it will just be a horrific “accident”. if my queue runs out and im still not posting, im hopefully dead.

[kittoki-blog]

Please don’t talk to me...

It was a long summer break for me. It feels like 3 months went by slowly and today is the first day after that long break. I’m feeling excited to meet my friends and nervous…

Not one day passed by without me thinking about that one night…

 -Flashback-

“Yui, your ponytail is cute tonight.”

“Aww thanks Mika, your braid is super nice too.” I answered.

It’s the last night of the summer festival and everyone was wearing nice outfit. It feels like we are having an early prom night. Hihi…

“Why are you giggling all of sudden?” Mika asked as we stroll along the lake. It was packed with students from our school. And they are so noisy especially the boys.

“Huh? Nothing~ nothing~ I was just thinking about funny stuff.” I answered while looking at some boys throwing water balloons at each other. How messy…

“Ohho, is it that you are thinking about someone special? Eh? Eh?” She gave me a little wink.

“Eh nooo. Look at those guys. Do you think I’m desperate enough to fall in love at such age? They are stinky, dirty, noisy and unorganized.” I nod toward a bunch of boys who are now laughing like crazy at the other side of the lake.

“But there’s a few exceptions right? Like Ken, Kimura… or is it Tachibana?” Mika wriggles her eyebrow now. This girl is full of face expressions. Hehe.

“Uh... I don’t care about love and couple stuff. It’s just a bother…” My voice went shaky a bit. I hope she didn’t realize that.

“Oh oh, but I heard a rumor though…” She grins.

“Huh? A rumor?About what?”

“Oh nothing… It’s just that a certain class representative likes his assistant.” She smiled wider.

“… Eh?” I tried to understand what she said.

“Oh come on, there’s a rumor that Tachibana likes you. You didn’t know?” Mika explained.

“Eh?? No way!” I was surprised. I don’t know why but shivers ran through my spine.

“That’s what I heard.  And you know what? It’s time like this that people open up to each other and confess. Maybe you will get a confession tonight. Kyaaa!” She giggles and shoving her face into her hand.

I tried to sound convincing. But that rumor indeed triggered my curiosity.

“PSHH, I’m sure that is just purely a baseless rumor and nothing else. Moreover you know I don’t like boys right? I would reject any confession right away even from Tachibana. Heh” I egoistically answered.

Suddenly she stood froze after  what I said. I didn’t think that it’s anything to be frozen over. Until I saw her eye which was fixed onto something behind me. As I turn around…

“Hello… just wanna wish happy holiday and have fun tonight…”

It was Tachibana! What a tragic coincidence! My unlucky night!

“Oh, okay thanks.” I answered.

Did he hear everything I said before? Oh my goodness!

Then he walked away. It was the first time I see his back figure clearly as he is wearing a tight and fit suit. Charmingly suited to his style…

“I’m so sorry Yui, I didn’t realize he was standing behind us.” Mika worriedly paces.

…

“Nah, maybe he didn’t hear it. Or even if he did… it was just a rumor right?”

Right? Please let it be just a rumor!

  -Endfalshback-

 That was the last time I ever saw him. I didn’t see him all summer and he didn’t send any text or calls to me. Well why would he do that right?

And it was the first day of the new semester. I wonder what he had been doing all summer.

“Yui, kawaiiiiiii” I heard Mika screams.

“I didn’t know you look this cute with your hair down. If I knew earlier, I would make you let it down a long time ago.” She pats behind my back. Geez, this hyper girl.

“Haha, nice to meet you too Mika. And it’s been like only a week. Why would you be so surprised? Its not like I change much since we last meet.”

“I know I know, but this is the first time I see you in the uniform with that hairsyle. Hihi.” She pushes me into the classroom.

I was searching for him. I don’t know why. But I was curious as to why he didn’t contact me… As if he need to… but I just feel like he should… Urghhh! My mind is soooo weird.

I couldn’t find him anywhere in the classroom. I wonder if he is coming. What if he transferred to another school? Oh my gosh!

“Let’s settle down here, not too far behind and not too close to the front. Just nice and we can feel the breeze from the window too.” Mika pushed me to a table. Well I don’t really care where I seat honestly.

“Okay, settle down guys! Go to your seats.” Mr Henry finally entered the class. Everyone was rushing for their seats. I guess he really transferred huh?...

But suddenly a boy entered and looks around for a seat too. Weird, I never seen him before…

“Tachibana, go to your seat fast. I’m about to start.” Mr Henry ordered the boy.

“Tachibana?” I was surprised.

That is him??? He looks very different from the Tchibana that I knew!... but looking closely… that is him alright…

But what’s with his hair. He always had the sharp and neat hairstyle before. Now it’s a bit long and kinda messy?

His necktie is also loose… whats with this sluggish new style of him???

He sat down beside the window, to the left of my front. He sat down and put his head and arm on the table lazily. Is this really him??

--

The hours passed by. It was already the last period before a break. And I havent heard anything from him. Not a single hi to me or to other classmates. He just stays on his seat while others were playing around. What’s with him really?

“Okay guys. It’s the first day, we are still fixing some schedule. So there will be no class this afternoon.” Mr Henry informs followed by the usual cheers from the boys.

“But we need to choose a class representative for this semester. Any suggestion?” Mr Henry asked.

Everyone went quiet and avoided eye contact with him. How typical of them.

“I nominate Yui!” Mika raised her hand.

“Mikaaaa~” I hissed at her. And she just smiles back like a cat. Aisht this girl. But oh well. Not that it’s something I can’t do since I was the last semester co-class representative with… him.

“Okay, any other suggestion for the girl’s representative?” Mr Henry asked. Everyone shook their head.

“Haha, of course there aren’t any. Fine, Yui are you okay to be a class rep this semester too?” Mr Henry clicks his pen.

“I don’t mind.” I answered. And he continues to write down something, most probably my name on some paper.

“Okay, how about the rep from the guys?”

“How about we went with Tachibana since it’s Yui who is taking the post again?” A boy went ahead and suggests that. And everyone was like nodding and agrees.

“Sigh, I was hoping some new faces will come up this semester. But oh well. Tachibana, are you ok with this?” Mr Henry asked him.

He just nodded…

Why is he so different now? Before he would enthusiastically answers everything asked. What happened to you Tachibana-kun?

--

“Okay, that’s that. Class Representatives; please come to the committee room after an hour for a briefing. That’s all, you guys can go.” Mr Henry walks out of the classroom.

Some packs their stuff and went back… I guess. But most of them stayed to chat with friends. Mika also stayed because she wants to accompany me till the meeting hour. And Tachibana is still on his seat… sleeping???

--

“Okay Yui, I’m gonna go back now. And your meeting will be in 10 minutes. Don’t be late.” She gave me a wink. She is so cute doing things like that.

“Thanks for staying.” I thanked her.

“Nah, I don’t have anything to do anyway at home. Hihi, Okay, bye~” She walked out.

And now I should be going too…

And he is still sleeping there. What’s wrong with him seriously? Was he ever like this?

--

“Tachibana-kun… wake up…” I forced myself to wake him up. His shoulder felt so warm though…

He pulled up his head. He froze a bit before leaning back to the chair.

“We got a meeting in 5 minutes. I’ll be going first okay?” I asked him politely. Well he seems to be too sleepy to notice me anyway.

But he nods lazily. I couldn’t see his eyes properly because of those wavy hairs infront of his face. But he didn’t seem to even be looking at me…

--

The meeting is about to start. The other class representatives are already here and Tachibana isn’t showing up still. Where in the world is he? Did he fall asleep again?

Just then my phone buzzes for an incoming message. And the sender is… Tachibana.

My heart skipped a beat. I don’t know why but that was the first message since the summer festival. I open the message curiously…

“Sorry I’m going home. – Tachibana”

…. SERIOUSLY??? JUST LIKE THAT?

He just went home like its nothing?? And to think I was hoping for his messages all these times???

I threw my phone into my bag furiously. I guess I’m going through this meeting alone for my class.

--

The meeting ended finally and I was so tired listening to the same briefing for class representative. It’s boring and lengthy. As I walk home I was wondering about Tachibana and his new attitude. What is wrong with that boy??

“Aaa Yui-chan! Yui-chan!” I heard someone shouted my name. I turn around and saw Rei waving at me from his car. Rei is… well well, Tachibana’s older brother. He resembles Tachibana a lot but of course a lot more matured and kind.

“Ah Rei-kun. How nice to see you around.” I greeted him. He was fanning himself inside the car. That’s weird.

“Ah Yui-chan, I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you.” He was having this –my wish has come true finally- look on his face.

“My car broke down and the mechanic is on his way now. But I’m afraid that my ice cream is gonna melt if it stays here till the mechanic arrives. Can you bring this to my house?” He half begged.

Seriously, is he a kid? Ice cream? What’s with Tachibana’s family??

“I guess I can help with that.” I took the grocery bag.

“Here’s the house key.” He gave me a keychain strapped with keys.

“Eh? There’s nobody at home? I thought Tachibana is already at home.” I asked.

“I tried calling home, but he didn’t answer. I guess he must have gone out or something.” Rei replied. He then hurried me away, worried for his ice cream to be melted.

I walk toward Tachibana’s house. It’s been a while since I went to his house. Eventhough we live in the same district, we hardly see or bump onto each other as his house is a bit isolated from the main roads.

Finally, I arrived at his house. I was being careful and ring the bell first.

…

Well I guess nobody is at home. I entered the key into the keyhole and unlock the door. It is a nice and friendly atmosphere inside. It makes me wonder how Tachibana went all messy and unorganized living in this nice house… God I can’t take him out of my mind. What is wrong with him seriously?

…

I opened the fridge and put in the beloved Rei’s ice cream and close it back. Now he should feel calm… I guess... As if he is a restless soul that needs a resolution. Haha.

I turned back toward the living room and main entrance.

I was about to open the door when I caught a glimpse of something moving on the couch in the living room…

“OH MY GOD. I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE A PUN ABOUT RESTLESS SOULS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!” I prayed hard with closed eyes.

I opened my eyes a bit… and I saw a body on the couch… That’s no ghost… That is… Tachibana?

I walk over to him unconciously…

He looks peaceful sleeping there… I never saw this side of him…

Why is he sleeping so much today? Didn’t he get proper sleep lately?

And why is he avoiding eye contact and didn’t say anything to me today? Before this, he would just come over and say something so lame like have a nice day, be careful on your way back home… now he didn’t even want to talk to me anymore…

As I mingle with my thoughts, he opened his eyes.

“EH??” He sprang up from the couch, obviously surprised. I was also surprised and jumped back a bit.

His eyes went wide but that was the clearest image of his eyes I have ever seen today. His hair is a bit messy…

As we stares into each others eyes, I realized that I owe him an explanation as to why I am in his house. LOL usually it’s the other way around. HAHA what am I thinking??

“I’m sorry! I was..Your brother’s car broke down; I carried his groceries because he doesn’t want to ruin the ice cream. He gave me the key. I’m sorry for intruding like this!” I blurted.

Finally his face calmed and he quickly averted my eyes again… He covered his face and slowly stood up.

“Why didn’t you come to the meeting? They were telling some important stuff you know.” I lied. And I don’t know why I did that.

And he just bowed and walks away toward the stairs.

He isn’t talking again! What is his problem??

Suddenly, something inside me urges me to do something that even I was surprised by it. I quickly walk toward him before he reaches the stairs and pulled his hand… More like turning his body around because he was easily turned… like a feather.

“Now, what is wrong with you? You are obviously avoiding me right? And why are you behaving like this? Did I somehow hurt your feeling today?” I hang on to his arm as he was trying to pull it back.

He was struggling? Or more like a fish trying to free itself from a strong crane. Was he this weak?

He still covers his face with his other hand as if he is allergic to my existence.

I pulled his other hand down and saw how red his face was. He was sweating already and his hand feels hot.

“Please..please let go…” Finally… he speaks. But it was more like a whisper rather than a speech.

“Then talk to me what is the problem?” I demanded.

“uhm.. “

And then he starts coughing. He turned away his face immediately and he looked like he was struggling to contain the coughing.

“Are you sick?”

I reached his forehead and it was burning hot.

“Oh my god, you’re having a fever!”

I pulled him toward his room and shove him onto his bed.

“If you’re sick, why didn’t you tell so?” I pulled the blanket over his body and he just watched.

…

“Why arent you talking? Do you need me to do anything?” I asked.

…

“Can you keep it down? It’s like having a nuclear war in my head everytime you speak.” Tachibana replied weakly.

That was the longest sentence he ever said that day to me. And to think it’s to shut me up!

“Fine! TSK! I’m leaving” I pouted unconciously. Why am I helping this boy??

… As I was about to reach the room’s door…

“I’m sorry…Thank you Yui. I didn’t talk to you because I don’t want to pass on this cold to you…”

…

I turned around and he was covering his face altogether with the blanket…

…

I walked down the stairs and went out of the house…

…

“ He avoided me because he doesn’t want to pass on the cold to me?...”

My cheek is burning red and my heart skips beat again…

He was thinking about me all those times…

[hindsywrites]

Bill and Gabe’s Excellent Adventure: A Gen Story

Some people say there was bound to be at least friendly competition. Two famous babies born so close together, it was going to happen. Look at Suri Cruise and Violet Affleck. By the time they were four, they were exchanging insults in the tabloids. The real surprise was that Pete and William were such close friends and it still turned out the way it did. When Ashlee finished peeing on the stick, the first person Pete called after Patrick was William. "So, how did you keep Gen a secret for so long?" People talked, especially in Chicago, but anything surrounding Gen had been mum until well after her birth. "Hello, Pete, it's nice to talk to you as well. Things are going fine here, thank you for asking." William always had to do the polite portion of the conversation. Pete was too busy being his own muse, biggest fan, and harshest critic. "Hey, Bill. Always good to talk to you. How's tricks? Now, how did you keep Gen a secret?" "Oh my God! You knocked her up!" William almost dropped the phone from between his ear and shoulder. "Dude, shut up! There are five people in South Africa who didn't hear you say that." The rest of the conversation was more of the same, William trying to keep from dropping either Gen or the phone while talking to Pete about making an honest woman out of Ashlee. It was a cute little convesation and Pete promised that as soon as little Wentzbryo was hatched, it could have a playdate with Gen. The screeching from Ashlee over the name of her unborn and unplanned miracle halted the conversation before it went any further. * The wedding came and went and so did spring. By mid-summer, Pete was back to making emo blog posts, often talking about how no man was an island but that he'd fight the tide to prove the poets wrong. When no one could figure out what the posts meant, they turned to the one person they knew would be able to help them. "What do you mean you don't understand the post? No man is an island. How were you in AP English, Bill?" Patrick balanced Gen on one hip and let her touch the soundboard in front of him. He looked almost as bad as Pete these days, dark bags under his eyes and hair falling lank beside his face. "All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language blah blah blah. I know all about the interconnectedness of mankind, Patrick, I just want to know what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks he's quoting John Donne for. Especially in relation to proving the tide wrong." Bill pursed his lips and reached for his daughter. He was fairly certain he'd just seen her pull off a knob and put it in her mouth. Patrick just held Gen closer and blew a raspberry on her stomach until she dropped the knob she had indeed taken off the soundboard. "Haven't you ever made a mistake, Bill?" "Well, of course." Bill just rolled his eyes and sat down on Patrick's seat. "Okay, but the difference is that you didn't marry yours." Patrick raised his eyebrows in a way Bill was sure was meant to be significant. "So. OH! You're saying he didn't want to. Whoa. You don't think he'd be with her if it wasn't for the baby?" Bill had not been prepared for that conversation when he went to see Patrick. All he'd wanted was reassurance that Pete wasn't going for another drive in the suburbs. "Come on, do you really think this is someone he really thought he'd spend the rest of his life with?" The look Patrick accompanied the question with was designed to make William feel about two inches tall. "Well. I mean. He talked about her the same way he talked about Jeanae." Bill shrugged off the look. He wasn't Pete's best friend in the entire world, it wasn't up to him to know the inner workings of his mind. "Jesus, Christine lets you out of the house alone with Gen?" Patrick sets the aforementioned baby in Bill's lap and shook his head at him. "Yes, exactly. He talks about her the same way he used to talk about Jeanae. And who did he end up not marrying?" He knelt down in front of Bill and tickled Gen's stomach as she sat on his knee. "Oh. Oh! I get it, all right. So. They're only together because of the baby. That's. Wow." Bill rubbed his hand up and down Gen's back when she started to fuss. "Very good, Bill." Patrick did the unthinkable and removed his hat to allow Gen to play with it. "Gen, when you get older, I want you to start telling your dad that it’s a good thing he’s pretty. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to say it." He kissed the top of her head before she burbled and tried to put the hat on her head. "Hey, don’t go corrupting my daughter. That’s not kosher." Bill stood and cradled Gen to his chest, trying to keep her from reaching out and grabbing at Patrick, or worse, the knobs. "Right, that’s Uncle Gabe’s job." Patrick rolled his eyes and turned his back to Bill. "You two are off to see him, right?" "No, we’re off to see Uncle Travis first. It’s almost naptime and she likes when he raps Public Enemy for her." Bill returned the roll of eyes for an entirely different reason. "And then we’ll go back home and see what Mommy did all day, right Gen?" Bill cooed at his daughter and couldn’t help but to smile when she smiled at him. "Never thought I’d see the day when you were whipped for a kid." Patrick just smiled fondly and ushered the two out of the studio, choosing to ignore the fact that a baby was walking out with his hat. * Nobody blamed Bill. That’s what everyone told him, "we don’t blame you." Christine had wanted to leave, had always wanted to. Even when she and Bill had started dating, she had always said she wanted to leave Illinois, leave the states. The only shock was that she’d done it so quietly and that she hadn’t taken Gen. For the first few weeks after, Bill’s mother had decided to stay with them. She had only wanted to help Bill get on his feet and learn how to properly take care of a baby without someone there to pick up the slack. When that seemed to be failing, she didn’t know who to call but Patrick. "Mrs. Beckett, with all due respect, I’m not sure that him having the baby is the best idea. I mean, he loves her but…" "I know, Patrick, I know. I just don’t know what else I can do. He misses Christine, it’s obvious, but he’s not pulling himself together for the baby." Berniece looked over at her son, sitting in front of the Game Show Network and watching a Bob Barker tell someone to come on down. There was a half-empty bottle of whiskey next to him. He hadn’t touched it in a few hours, but he was still only bordering sobriety. "What he needs is to sober up and realize there’s a kid who is depending on him. Gen shouldn’t be raised by her grandparents, no offense. She’s Bill’s responsibility now and he needs to own up to it." Patrick thought of the visit a few months earlier and shook his head. "You know, you’re right. And I think I know the right way to do that." Berniece nodded to herself and quickly said her goodbyes to Patrick. That night, while Bill slept the deep sleep of the drunk, Berniece went through the apartment and gathered up all the liquor bottles and any questionable baggies she could find. The morning found a sink that smelled like alcohol and thirty dollars of recycling money on the counter, along with a note that read: William, I’ve dumped your liquor out and gone home. It’s time for you to be responsible for this child. She loves you and you won’t even look at her. Christine will be back when she finds what she was looking for and until then, you need to be the strong one for Gen’s sake. I’ve left some formula in the fridge and there are instructions for food taped onto the door. I love you, but I can’t watch this and I won’t take a child away from both of her parents. Mom After a moment, Bill recognized the noise that was filtering through his ear as Gen crying in her crib. He walked into the nursery and looked down at Gen as she wailed up at him. The stench in the room made it clear what her problem was and Bill tried as hard as he could to remember where the new diapers were kept. It had been more than two weeks since he’d even been in the same room as Gen. She looked too much like Christine, all wide smiles and soft blonde hair. After feeding her some formula, Bill rooted under the couch for his cell phone; it was vibrating and Bill couldn't be sure it wasn't his mother calling. There were several messages from Gabe from the past week. bilbo, heard about christine, sorry man. if u need n e thing, txt me. hey, havent heard back, u doing ok? beckett answer ur msgs, jfc. if i dont hear from u 2morrow, im coming there. im @ the airport, b there in 20 mns. The last message had a time stamp of five minutes earlier and Bill nearly dropped Gen again. Gabe was going to be there in a matter of minutes. Thanks in large part to his mother, the apartment wasn't too much of a mess. In fact, the only mess was the nest of a couch Bill had spent the last few weeks on. "Gen, Uncle Gabe is coming. I'm going to put you back in your crib with a bottle and as soon as I figure out why he's here, I'll come get you." Bill wasn't entirely sure why he was instructing her like she could actually understand him but a memory hit him hard for a moment. Gen was in her crib and Bill was babbling at her when Christine had told him not to do that, it was damaging to a child's development. She needed to be spoken to like she was fully cognizant of what she was hearing. Gen just burbled back at him and tugged on his hair before he set her down in her crib. She made the universal sign for 'pick me up!' but Bill had too many other things to worry about. He couldn't understand why Gabe was going to show up. Had he really cut off that much contact with the outside world. He scrolled through the missed calls on his phone. Some time in the past two weeks, he'd found time to answer a call from his mother, a call from the Butcher, and a call from Spencer. He didn't even know how Spencer got the number. Eventually there was a knock on the door. Bill was still looking at his phone, looking at the texts he'd ignored, even one from Tom that said "mike says u wnt answr his msgs. dnt know y u wud answr mine. call him, hes worried." The knock startled him out of his reverie and he walked over to the door. A quick check of the peephole showed him Gabe on the other side practicing some dance moves. Bill had a few choices. He could open the door and allow Gabe in, resulting in some horrible nursing back to health. He could keep the door closed, resulting in Gabe calling his mother and yelling at Bill through the door that he knew he was in there and if he didn't answer, he was calling the cops! After a moment of debate, and Gabe saying 'I know you're in there, Bills, I can hear you moving around', Bill decided to open the door. The worst that could happen was Gabe deciding that he couldn't leave Bill alone for five minutes and then handcuffing him to the bed while he left for groceries. It used to frighten Bill how well he knew Gabe's thought processes. Eventualy, he just chalked it up to having spent too much time around him during a specific period of his life. "William Eugene Beckett, if you ever disappear like that again, I will cut your balls off and feed them to a snake at the zoo." Gabe threw down his bags and wrapped his arms tightly around Bill. Stumbling slightly, Bill took a step back and tried to worm out of Gabe's grip. The physical contact after so long without was almost too much and it made Bill's limbs feel atrophied. Gabe didn't let go and it was all Bill could do to not have a panic attack right there. "I'm sorry." He didn't offer any more of an explanation than that. Gabe could draw his own conclusions when he saw Christine's half of the closet, empty save for the bag containing her prom dress. Gabe just nodded and kept a hand on the small of Bill's back as they walked into the apartment. "And where is the littlest cobra right now?" Gabe looked around the living room, trying not to let himself be distressed when he saw the state of the house. It was like Bill didn't want to clean it up, like if it got messy enough, Christine would have to come back not because this was the apartment she'd left in Bill's charge but because this was the home she'd tried to build with him. "She's in her crib. I-I wanted to talk to you first, before she saw you. I wanted to find out why you were here." Bill didn't meet Gabe's eyes, looking down at the ground instead. There were baskets of clean laundry, something he was left to assume his mother did before she left. Even so, looking at it now with Gabe next to him, Bill realized how much he'd actually let the place go. DVDs were strewn around the TV, out of their cases and just waiting to be scratched. All in all, it looked like Christine had jumped ship and left Bill to fend for himself. "Bills, I'm here because you need me here. Like you invented me in your mind and here I am." Gabe was trying for levity, he was, but he couldn't quite lift the corners of Bill's mouth high enough. "I'm here because you didn't answer and I figured that maybe I could help out around here while you needed it." Gabe shrugged and let go of Bill as they approached Gen's room. Bill just nodded and opened the door, looking at Gen trying to hoist herself up and stand. She grinned at Gabe and looked between the two of them, falling back down and reaching her hands out to them. "She needs a bottle, I think." Bill disappeared into the kitchen as Gabe crossed the room and hoisted her up. Cradling the small child close to him, Gabe paced the room and let her press her ear to his heartbeat. "Don't worry, Gen, we're going to fix this." "Did you say something?" Bill reappeared with a bottle, handing it to Gabe, who recoiled back from it. "What's wrong?" "You have to test it on your wrist." Gabe used his free hand to turn Bill's arm over and tap some of the milk onto it. "Her mouth is sensitive." It was almost as though Bill had forgotten everything about how to take care of a child. He knew all of this, Gabe was aware of how Bill had attended parenting classes. Gabe let Gen curl up to him and rocked her slowly back and forth, allowing her to nod off. "Bill, you can't just let this swallow you up. You have a kid." "Everyone keeps saying that! Everyone keeps saying that but they don't understand what this feels like. Nobody understands what it's like to see a child and think the worst things imaginable. To wish that she wasn't here. That she hadn't been born." Even as Bill was talking, he was reaching out to stroke Gen's hair. "You don't think that. You can't think that." Gabe wrapped a protective arm around Gen. "Come on, you need to sleep or something. I'll clean up around here, just take a nap or something." Gabe continued to hold the sleeping baby as he led Bill to the bedroom. His place in New York is too minimalist to be messy, so he needs to organize the clutter of Bill's apartment. "Do you have a back or chest carrier for her?" Bill was already out like a light. "Okay, Gen. It's time you learn about how to keep an apartment clean." Gabe looked around the living room and settled on putting Gen in a baby romper while he tidied up. * If anyone could've predicted Bill's reaction to Gabe staying there, everyone else would've laughed in his or her face. With someone watching Gen again, Bill returned to his trusty bottle and steady diet of The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune. Gabe did his best to keep Gen away from it. He had nothing scheduled coming up, so he didn't feel bad about staying there longer than he initially said he was going to stay. A few weeks turned into a few months and before long, he had set up a cot in the living room, and he'd taken the baby monitor with him. No one in Bill's band could say anything because they didn't know what to say. He'd been heartbroken before, but he'd bounced back stronger and better than ever. While Gabe was at home having tea parties with Gen and listening to her babble in a mixture of Baby and English, Mike and Johnny took turns picking Bill up from bars around the city. It wasn't long before everyone was called to a meeting at Bill's place. Even Pete was there, as distracted as he was by the messages constantly coming in on his Blackberry. They'd conferenced in Victoria, Alex, and Nate. Ryland was out buying groceries when the call actually came, but he said he'd be back in half an hour. "Look, guys, we're just going to have to put things on hold for a few months. I want to make sure he- Gen is okay. I mean, she already had Christine leave, I can't just go now. She's used to me." As he spoke into the speakerphone with Mike and Siska at his side, Pete still pacing the kitchen, Gabe clutched Gen protectively. "He'll snap out of it soon, he wasn't ready before and I don't think it's going to be a slap and then he's fine. He just needs a little more time." "Are you sure this isn't you just wanting to be the hero?" Alex's voice sounded very far away through the speakerphone. "No, it is. But. I can't just leave them, okay? I'm sorry and I'll explain it all. Or you guys can come out and visit, but I can't just leave Gen here until I know Bill is okay." Gen was starting to babble in more words now. Pete and Patrick were no longer interchangeable, she'd developed enough of a vocabulary to call Pete "Monkey" and Patrick "Lunch." Needless to say, Patrick still didn't find his nickname amusing. "I'll come out there and I'll check the situation out." Victoria hadn't had much to add to the conversation, but she felt that it was important that she add this. "It's really admirable what you're doing right now, Gabe. I'll back it as long as it doesn't put me out on the streets." "It won't." Gabe felt relief rush through them. As long as she knew what was going on, she'd understand enough to pass the message along to the rest of the band. When he'd hung up, Gabe turned to Mike and Siska. "I'm sorry, I'm doing the best I can with him." "We know, man. It'll take some time. Maybe you should go pick him up tonight and we'll watch Gen." Mike extended his arms to the sleepy baby and grinned when she reached for him in return. BLAHBLAHBLAH Gabe and Bill get together and raise an awesome daughter.