#meryasek 13.

[farenduil]

Person: @meryasek Location: That Dang Beach "I almost don't believe it." He says as he comes up the over the small hill and trudges onto the beach, sand shifting in his wake. It is the same thing he has done every day for what feels like weeks, but this time, there, sitting on a rock near the ocean, is Meryasek. Farenduil thanks whatever deity out there that had brought him back, whoever had granted him yet another grace. But he thinks now that surely this is the last miracle he is privy to. He perches himself on another rock nearest his brother and he sees the protruding horns atop the head of the man that is probably his dearest friend aside from Yavie. They sit there both different now, in ways that he couldn't even begin to describe and it feels like a moment completely removed from time, like once more he's in a dream. "I have come here each day, hoping to find you." His tone is calm, even, but the tension in his shoulders he's been carrying his gone.

[farenduil]

"Would it be so bad if it was?" He has his plans, his thoughts that keep him up at night when he feels hellbent on being discontent in one way or another. Time had once felt so vast, daunting even, and he'd felt happy to live in the moment at first. But he could see it in Mery's eyes, it was the same kind of look Aurora gave him every now and then. The worry, like they knew he was slipping through their fingers, the sand was moving through the hourglass faster now. Farenduil had all but switched places with Micah now, his son, his brothers, the object of his affection, they'd all outlive him like this and he doesn't know if he's strong enough to leave them in such a way, not really. "I have someone I need to speak with at Lupercalia, don't ready my plot in the cemetery just yet." He gives his younger brother a gentle nudge to the ribs, smiling softly before he gives a slight shake of his head.

"I'm not, and you didn't even answer half my questions." Mery tilted his head now, looking at Farenduil expectantly. This was a big deal – an archfiend around, his father, and he had to avoid everyone else in the meantime. His wedding – he was sure Faren was jealous, that had to be the reason he didn't answer him. Looking at his very human brother, he stopped in front of him. "I made a beach here, one you can visit. But I know you want something....simple. Human. Mortal. Look at you, Faren. Is this what you really want?"

[farenduil]

He chuckles at the idea of Mery passing said crown to him, gives a shake of his head. Because they both know that's far behind him now. Instead he focuses on what his younger sibling is saying, what he's worried about. They're both suffering a bit of an identity crisis, it would seem. Things are so different now, but Farenduil can't shake that they're the same still, the two of them, at their core. "You're being too hard on yourself. One day at a time." He nods to affirm the statement, it's one he's told himself in the mirror over and over again the last few weeks. It's simple, but it's doing something for him, maybe it'll help Mery, too.

“Would you prefer that I’d given it to you?” Meryasek teased, though his gaze didn’t move from the remembrance for Titania. He missed her; he wished he could have one of her sprites flitter around again, a memory that she was always nearby. He’d spent hours make her a crown of jacarandas once, and now it sat upon the statue, waiting for Meryasek to pick it up once more. “I have a court now, that’s one in the same. The Chancellors can do it by themselves, and so can I. Arvandor was all I wanted, a remembrance of Hyperborea –” he’d wanted this, for so long, and now they were here. “Mars – I want to talk to him. But what would I say?” An archfiend, the half that gave him hellfire, and an archfey – the one who gave him his song. “I don’t even know how to be what I am.” He missed Spring. He missed the way it came to him, how he could be a breath of fresh air, or the storm that struck down those who ventured into it. “I wanted to make all of the realms and courts myself. But the Chancellors cry when they’re left out, you know.” All he felt he'd deserved was the crown, and that still rang true.

[farenduil]

"Much has happened, yes." There's almost an air of amusement to his tone because the horns are new. Something about it all feels too easy, too fortunate that he'd gotten Mery back. Knowing his luck, he would go back home after this and Aurora would tell him some horror she'd witnessed to balance everything out again. "But I am starting to realize that is a running theme at this point for the two of us." Life had felt so quiet at one point, what he thinks was maybe a mortal year ago, where he'd spent more time alone. Looking back, he'd perhaps felt frozen then, stuck wandering the castle contemplatively or perpetually reading in the meadow. Now nothing ever really seemed to stop. Farenduil didn't have the time now to let it get heavy again, the world or what once was. There was only forward, it was as if their mother had resolved him of lingering in the past. "What matters now is where we go from here."

Farenduil had no magic, but it was his presence, all the same. Meryasek would always know it, no matter what. This beach was a small reminder of the beautiful one they'd had in the Otherworld, but it was a beach all the same. It was the one he'd visit Farenduil on more often than not, now. Perhaps until Farenduil was old and frail, and needed an arm to walk along the sand once more. He would hold his brother up for as long as he needed him to. Mery had slowly let his true form come forth, more demon than anything else now, perhaps – but Farenduil wouldn't shy from him. Gone was the spring eladrin that brought along warmth and flowers. In its place was an archfiend and fey, and Meryasek couldn't imagine Farenduil turning away from him, now. "It's me – I think. So much has happened, Faren. And I will barely be able to spend this life with you."

[farenduil]

Farenduil offers a curt nod because that is really when it all started going downhill, wasn't it? For them specifically, they'd been cast out unfairly, perhaps never taken seriously in the first place. Meryasek had been right, perhaps he always had, that they should have been fighting. And yet there were so little of them now. Even less with him and Mery no longer eladrin. "She was....Sorry. For everything." Tired was the other thing, the woman he once knew as a queen, that he regarded and perhaps resented was weary. A mother who had many regrets, crown or no crown, just a person. With a slight shake of his head, he looks to his brother and there is no real way to tell him this. "I believe Aurora is hellbent on keeping me safe after everything. And I have a....Plan of sorts that you will probably laugh at me for, but do not worry about me right now. I think you've done enough of that to last centuries."

"Passiveness stopped being the answer as soon as we were pushed from the Senate." That shit show was a circus, everyone honking each other's noses and telling themselves they were doing a great job. Mery would see them all burn. "You weren't holding me back, but this is what you wanted, wasn't it?" He turned towards his brother now, "Was she well?" Their mother, in Arvandor – a place where Mery wasn't even sure he would be able to step foot within. The fey'ri were cast out so long ago, a dying, autarchic race – and yet here he was. Meryasek would find them, and he would bring them in to a home where they belonged. "I'm a fey'ri, Faren. Being unwanted comes easily amongst the fey. You will be one of those." Unwanted, with no magic – the elves were so fickle. "But you're safe in the forest, so you shouldn't leave. Not if you don't want to you. Because I can't protect you outside of it."

[farenduil]

He could say such a place was beautiful and yet he looked at what they were, or at least what he'd been, and thinks that calling a place 'beautiful' didn't quite do anything justice. It was all beautiful, any of the fey realms, he'd come to realize. Perhaps distance already made the heart grow fonder, that he'd taken such sights for granted before. "Peaceful, in a way. Warm, if you'd believe it. Not in temperature but in something else." That he couldn't quite put his finger on but he thinks of Titania's eyes, normally so full of a kind of knowing glee around him, and how there'd been something else there that day he'd last spotted her. He couldn't put his finger on it either. "I heard you set the crown aside." His brows raise slightly in question as he looks to his younger brother. It wasn't something he'd seen coming, but he couldn't say he wasn't somewhat relieved at the same time for it painting less of a target on Mery's back.

It was hard for Meryasek to have missed out. He had never been able to see Arvandor; he had always dreamed of it. Of bigger things. Titania had called it childish once, too many had, and yet now it had come to pass. Mery stood where he was, though his gaze didn't leave his brother. Farenduil was so mortal now, it hurt. There was much Meryasek was doing, much he wanted to work on, and time and time again he'd slip into the Otherworld, away from Audelë to do what he wanted. One day he'd be able to make it happen, but for now, he had to live with the fact that his mother was dead, and now he was alone. Dareth and Faren were always near, their hollowborn children still a mystery – though not for much longer. "Arvandor – what was it like?"

[farenduil]

Farenduil's brows quirk upwards at the admission and he takes a second to picture their mother and a vampire. There'd once been a time, long before either of them were born, where the fey and vampires weren't as disconnected as they were now. He knew that, could believe it. But to think his mother and a vampire had conceived a child? He blinks twice, maybe three times. "I can't stand by and think that fighting isn't the answer anymore." He states honestly, lips drawing into a thin line. It hadn't ever really gotten him anywhere, what was there to discuss with someone who seemed hellbent on violence? There were some battles words simply could not win. "I don't want to lose you. But I can't hold you back."

Mery's dark wings stayed flat against his back, more bat like than anything soft as the avariel had. As even some of the drow, had. He was everything spring wasn't – not anymore. Gone was the gentle autumn breeze that followed his brother around. Gone was everything that they had known. There would be a future carved, Meryasek would do what he wished to. He'd raze Rome and create his own life in the Otherworld. His own realm where his children would be safe. Where his brother could visit and time would not touch him, if he so wished. "My father – Mars." He remembered when Farenduil had asked him if it bothered him that they didn't know who their other parent was – Mery had always said no. That had been true, until his true form had been pulled out, unable to sustain a body that was dying when death would not take him. "I'm going to kill her, and any drow that stands in my way."

[farenduil]

There is so much he wants to say about all of it. He thinks it's worse now that from their last interaction together, Farenduil thinks not only had he come to forgive his mother, but he understood her now. It's not something easy to reckon with, ultimately. That over time he thinks maybe he'd become her in a way, plagued with his own grief, willing to do anything to keep his children close. He stands there though with Mery, looking to something meant to commemorate the woman that had given life to the two of them and all he can offer is a slow nod of his head, actually ducks his head for a second to rub at his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. "It's beautiful." He comments, voice barely above a whisper as he looks towards the man he shouldn't be able to recognize as his brother anymore. And yet he does, for it doesn't matter what Mery is now, it doesn't matter what he is. Blood is indeed thicker than water when it comes to the two of them, it would seem. "The last time her and I talked, I knew." That they wouldn't be speaking to each other again. "Doesn't make it hurt any less."

@farenduil Location: DaemonFey Court

Meryasek led his brother through a silent forest. It was quiet, similar to the one that used to surround his home in the Spring Court back when they had a realm for themselves. It was what he'd wanted, spring was for rebirth, and it was for death, as well. There was nothing reminiscent of Spring, however. It was a cruel attempt, one that Mery's song could mirage with green and pleasantries, but if the glamour faded, they'd see the hellfire in the background, feel heat coming from bark that was normally calm and covered in moss. He did it for Farenduil's sake, the hatred that he felt, the way he'd simply decided he'd create his own Court, one where those who wished to escape could come. Where the daemons could be unharmed; those who could not return to Arvandor.

The garden of remembrance was for those that they wished to remember, those that they deemed worthy enough to consider for the trees that Mery used to be able to carve so effortlessly. This was no different, he'd perfected the spell long ago, trees that would give memory to those that they held dear. Titania's stood in front of them now, Mery staying a few paces behind Farenduil. The air was dark, the sky was dark – the only light seemed to be coming from the tree itself. The fey'ri tilted his head now, staring at Faren, "What do you think?"