#merry christmas if you celebrate! may your days be very gay & bright

[liyazaki]

from now on, if you call Cham Cham, I'll lick your mouth.

GAP THE SERIES | EP. 6 [2022-2023]

[fangirlovestuff]

Flung Out of Space - Natasha Romanoff x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!! merry christmas to all that celebrate it:)) so, i’ve been wanting to write this fic for a while and i’m really glad i got to, this is heavily inspired by the movie Carol, which is basically a gay christmas movie. i love it, and so i’ve cast natasha in the role of carol and reader in the role of therese and sort of rolled from there. i hope you enjoy<3

summary: You’ve been waiting for something bigger than this job at the departement store, maybe being a photographer. That something big comes to you in the form of one stunning Natasha Romanoff, who understand you better than you understand yourself. You’ll both never be the same.

word count: 8k

warnings: implied smut, mentions of a gun (no one uses it), angst, responsible alcohol consumption, mentions of divorce, mentions of homophobia, language. all of the men in this story are trash, it’s nothing personal. 

disclaimer: i think this reads well even if you haven’t watched the movie, but if you’re intending to watch it, maybe wait with this fic since it contains the majot plot points:) also, i left a couple of characters like they are in the movie, and some are marvel characters i “cast”, so if you don’t know a name it’s probably from the movie. also also, i did use the plot of the movie and some direct quotes, with some changes, but still - stuff from the movie are obviously not mine and i don’t claim them to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You almost thought she wouldn't show up. That it was all some sort of joke, or dream. Sitting alone at that table, you were starting to beat yourself up again, because how could you be so stupid again, and why, for once in your life could you not say no to any-

But there she was. There she was, in that light grey coat that brought out her sharp, bright blue eyes, red hat resting on top of neat red hair. Put together.

There was something utterly enchanting about her. There always has been, since that very first day you met her. You couldn't look away.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a normal day until she came in.

It's not like you expected a job at a big department store to be interesting. You took it because it was just a job to bring in some money, so you wouldn't have to depend on Ri- on anyone. Maybe if they decided to give you a holiday bonus you could get a proper camera, better than the old one you have now.

See, being a photographer would be interesting. But who would ever let you do it? no one. You're not even good.

So, it wasn't often you were interested in your work. You were barely ever fully in the moment, lost in your own head more often than not. That's why it took you by surprise to notice the woman's presence from all the way across the store. That was the first reason you knew she was special.

You locked eyes with her from across the room, and for a moment, your thoughts vanished, every fiber of your being focused solely on her. The first thought you regained was why is everyone else not looking? How can they not be this captivated?

The second one was that obviously, they weren't doing so because it's rude to stare. Like you were doing right now.

Hurriedly, you lowered your eyes, swallowing dryly.

Thankfully, a customer came up to ring up her purchase, and then another mother with her little girl asked where the bathroom was, and you've nearly forgotten all about the lady, your thoughts taking over again, until she was standing right in front of you.

"Hello," she smiled at you, reading out your name from your name tag. It sounded prettier than ever falling easily from her lips.

"Hi," you replied, rattling off the automatic response, "happy holidays, how may I assist you?"

"Well," the woman said, "I'm looking for this doll, hold on," she took out a note from her bag and slid it to you over the counter. It had the name of a doll you knew was out of stock, which is what you told her.

"Oh, what a shame. My daughter wanted it for so badly," she furrowed her brows slightly, still sending you a small smile. "Oh well. Tell me, when you were a little girl, what did you wish for as a Christmas present?"

"A train set," you answered, your lack of hesitation taking you by surprise. It was true, but you were surprised you'd said it this readily.

The woman chuckled warmly. "Well then, I'll take the train set."

"No problem ma'am, we can have it delivered to you just in time for Christmas if you want, our new fast shipping takes about three business days," you informed her with a smile.

"Thank you, you're a real saint."

You took down her shipping address, credit card number, and the exact train model. "And your name, ma'am?"

"Natasha Romanoff," she answered.

"Alright. Here's your receipt, and that train set should be there in a few days' time," you smiled. Your fingers brushed hers as you grabbed the piece of paper from her hand.

She smiled back and thanked you once more before leaving the store. She had such an elegant way to her, dignified and yet humorous and kind. Like you wished you were.

Looking down, you noticed her glove was left there. You looked up to call after her, but she was already gone, and you couldn't leave the register. Looking down again, a plan was formed in your mind. You did have her shipping address, after all, so it would be the kind thing to do, spread the holiday spirit a little.

You kept wondering if she'd gotten the glove, or if her daughter will like the train set. But it’s not like these questions will be answered.

You were pondering it once more when you heard your name being called.

"Phone call for you," your manager called out, and you signaled one of your coworkers to take your place at the register as you stepped up to the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Natasha, Natasha Romanoff. I just wanted to thank you, for the glove and the train set. I'm sure when Rindy's going to open it, she'll love it. How can I repay you?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Ms. Romanoff," you tried to fight the grin off your face. You didn't even know why you were smiling.

"No, really. Tell you what, I'm in town again this noon, so how about we meet for lunch? My treat."

"Well, that's so kind of you, Ms. Romanoff, but I-"

"Call me Natasha. Please." You thought you heard the trace of a smile in her voice.

"Natasha. I have a very short lunch break, and I wouldn't want to inconvenience you in terms of your schedule-"

"Oh, nonsense. Do you have a pen and paper to write the name of the restaurant? It's called Viognier"

You were smiling now, "Viognier?"

"It's French," she answered with a smile. "Are you writing down the address?"

You wrote down the name and address she gave you.

"Thank you, M- Natasha," you corrected.

"Of course. I look forward to seeing you," she said, and you hung up the phone and got back to work, thoughts racing at full speed.

She was so puzzling, Natasha Romanoff. You wondered if lunch would help you figure her out better.

As it turns out, it didn't.

Natasha was talking to the waiter, but you couldn’t focus on what she was saying, looking at her lipstick-red lips instead.

"And for you, ma'am?" the waiter asked.

"Oh," you skimmed the menu quickly, "um, I'll just have whatever she's having."

"The dish or the drink, ma'am?"

"Both," you smiled shyly at Natasha, who only returned your smile warmly.

"I hope your daughter would like the gift," you started hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm sure Rindy will like it," Natasha smiled, taking out a cigarette case from her purse. "Would you like one?" she extended it to you.

"Oh, no, thank you."

She lit the cigarette between her lips, puffing out the smoke. You've never liked smokers much, but a part of you itched to take a photograph of her smoke-shrouded face. The other part ached to uncover her face from behind the smoke.

Both parts thought she was beautiful.

And you're staring again.

You cleared your throat. "So how old is she? Rindy?"

"Six," Natasha smiled, her gaze fixed somewhere behind you before focusing back on you. "She's staying with her father until tomorrow, then spending Christmas with me."

"Her father?" you asked, puzzled, before you could realize what you're saying. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry-"

"It’s alright," she chuckled, that enchanting twinkle of amusement dancing in her eyes. "Bucky, well, James. My husband, for now. We're getting a divorce."

"Oh." You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but you had no idea what.

"What about you," Natasha took mercy on you, "Anyone special?"

"Well, there's Richard, my, uh, my boyfriend. He's trying to convince me to go to France with him. I think he'd like my hand in marriage." The words came easily, without a thought. Sitting in front of Natasha, everything else faded away, including the noise of your thoughts.

"And would you like to marry him?" she inquired with a curious smile.

"Well. I can't even decide what to order for lunch," you answered simply, smiling.

Your smile got wider when she let out a small laugh at your words. What a wonderous sound.

"What a stranger girl you are." And when she said your name again, it sounded even better than the last time.

"Why do you say that?"

"Flung out of space," she answered softly.

Maybe it was a jab at you for having your head in the clouds. Or maybe it meant something else you didn't understand. It wasn't hard to believe she knew something you didn't. In fact, if she'd told you she knew everything, you'd believe her.

"Here's your plate ma'am."

Oh, right. You were sitting at a restaurant, waiting for your food. That's where you are.

"You know, you're probably quite the city girl," Natasha said, scooping up a piece of her food on her fork, blowing on it softly before wrapping her lips around it and taking the bite.

She's waiting for you to reply.

"Oh, well. I actually prefer the country," you shrugged. That's why Richard's been trying to get me to go to the French countryside, you wanted to say. But talking about Richard felt wrong. "I live in the city because it's more comfortable," you said instead, taking a bite out of your own plate. It was delicious.

"Really? Well in that case, you should really come by my house sometime," she smiled at you, her blue eyes seemingly the brightest source of light in the dim restaurant. "I live not far out into the country. Besides, I probably wouldn't know how to assemble that train set myself anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you're going away with her, but not with me? You don't even know her!"

"Yes," you answered, fighting to keep your cool as you pushed a couple of shirts into the small suitcase. Yes was your go-to answer. It only sucked sometimes.

"Are you serious right now? I've been trying to get you to come with me for months and now you're just taking a trip with this total stranger?"

"it's not- I owe her a favor."

"Oh really? I don't think that's true. You don't even know her long enough to owe her shit!" Richard yelled. "What, you have some sort of sick crush on this woman?"

"No!" you yelled back, finally breaking, "please, just stop yelling about this!"

"You're the one yelling about this!" he didn't lower his voice. "Tell you what, if you are seriously walking out of this door right now with this fucking suitcase we're done. Done, you hear me?"

"Bye Richard," you mumbled, stuffing the last few items in your suitcase and closing it.

"Really? We've been together for years and you're gonna throw that away just like that for this total stranger?"

You can't talk to me like that, Richard! You wanted to scream, you've never really loved me, you don't even respect me! You don't even support me!

"Yes," you answered instead, your voice a mere whisper.

He left.

You locked the apartment door behind you and went down the stairs, getting into Natasha's car and greeting her with a smile.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Sure am," you smiled.

You were driving around in silence for a while. It was fine. It gave you space to think about Richard. Yes, he's never truly loved you. But really, have you ever loved him?

"What are you thinking about?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing," you shrugged, "just… nothing."

"Okay. By the way, could we stop and get a tree on the way? If it doesn't bother you. I promised Rindy I'd get one."

"Of course," you smiled, "no problem at all."

It took only a little while longer for you to get to the tree farm. Natasha parked the car and got out to buy a tree, telling you she'd be just a moment.

In the windy December air, strands of her red hair flew across her face. She reached to tuck them away, only for them to do the same moments later.

You couldn't resist the urge now, taking your camera out from your bag and adjusting it to snap a few photos of her. Only a couple, so you won't finish the film. After all, you never got any holiday bonus.

You had to put the tree inside the car, its trunk in the backseat, and its branches and leaves a barrier between you.

"Did you take a picture of me?" she asked, "When I got the tree?"

Her face was hidden behind the greenery, but she didn't sound angry.

"I- I'm sorry, I should've asked you first."

"It's alright," she chuckled, and you relaxed a little into your seat. "You should show me these once you develop them. You like taking photos?"

"I do," you answered bashfully.

Natasha only hummed in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mommy!"

The happy cry of the little girl was the first thing that reached your ears once you opened the door at Natasha's house.

"My princess!" Natasha picked Rindy in her arms and spun her around, "look what we brought you!" Natasha balanced Rindy on her hip with one hand and pointed at the car with the other.

"A Christmas tree!" she yelled gleefully, "thank you mommy!"

"Of course, pumpkin," Natasha smiled at her daughter, "I promised I'd get you one. You want to help decorate it later?"

"Can I be in charge of decorating, and you'll help me?"

"Why of course, I should've suggested that from the start!" she pressed her finger into Rindy's side, tickling her, and the girl laughed. "C'mon, let's go inside and eat first."

Natasha was so strong. Not only physically, even though you're sure it was an effort lifting up the girl like that. But little Rindy had dark hair, presumably like her father's. she wasn't just Natasha's. And yet Natasha didn't care, and loved her more than anything, and that was apparent. Loving so loudly must require undeniable strength.

That afternoon Natasha and Rindy worked on the tree, and you mostly sat and watched them from afar, brought them tea as well. Rindy did have a lot of her mother in her after all, her confident posture and charming blue eyes. It was heartwarming, to see them like this. It was a togetherness you never really got, bittersweet domesticity like you've never known, never been a part of, always an observer.

That night, after Rindy had gone to bed, you were sitting at the piano in the living room, mindlessly playing an old song you learned long ago, the only one you still remembered. Natasha had been sitting on the floor, no shoes on, her stocking-clad legs tucked beneath her as she sipped on a glass of one. She offered you one, but you refused politely. You didn't feel like you need it.

You jumped at the touch of warm hands on your shoulders. So immersed in your thoughts, you didn't notice Natasha creeping up on you.

"It's beautiful," she said softly, looking straight into your eyes, straight into your soul, it seemed.

"I- thank you. It's just an old song."

Before Natasha could reply there was a loud knock at the door.

"Who could it be at such an hour?" she wondered out loud, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. She went to open the door, and you only dared to peek at the entrance from behind the wall.  

"Bucky? What are you doing he-"

"Where's Rindy?" the man asked, pushing past Natasha and making his way inside. You ducked back behind the wall, but you'd seen him – tall, broad, with dark hair like Rindy's. and the name – Bucky, didn't leave you any doubt as to who it was.

"Asleep in her bed," Natasha answered, and the sound of footsteps ceased, "What's going on?"

"She's coming with me to her grandmother," he answered.

"Right now? But Bucky, we agreed she'd be here Christmas morning and then go to your parents', and she's not packed, and for god's sake, she's asleep!"

You didn't know Natasha for a long time, but you had the sense she's not a woman who folds a lot. But right now, she sounded on the edge of desperate.

"Yeah, but she should come with me, sh- who is that?"

You didn't notice them come closer, and you were still standing with your back to the wall when they came into the living room.

"Bucky, listen, this isn't wh-"

"No, this is exactly what I think it is, isn't it? Well, you're not doing that with my daughter in your house. Not anymore!" he started storming upstairs, Natasha only sparing you a frantic glance before following him.

"Bucky, I swear to you, she just-"

You couldn't make out their argument from upstairs, so you sat at the piano stool and waited. You waited until they came down the stairs, Rindy in the man's hands. In Bucky's hands. When Natasha held her, she looked strong. When he did, he looked menacing. Too big for this small child.

They went outside, and once more you couldn't decipher what was going on, but Natasha was the only one that came back in, tears shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said shakily, blinking her tears away, and going to her bag, taking out the cigarette packet and pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes," she sighed. "There's a train back to the city in a couple of hours. I'll give you a ride to the station."

That car ride was silent all throughout, a mumbled "thanks for the ride" from you the only goodbye said.

By the time you were home again, it was after 2 am already. And yet, your floor's phone was ringing.

"Hello?" you answered in a whisper.

And even over the phone, you loved it when she said your name. "I just wanted to apologize again, and see you got home safe."

"Yeah, I'm home," you whispered back.

"Good. Can I come by tomorrow? I'll bring a better apology with me. Promise."

"Okay," you answered hesitantly, "but Natasha, I wanna know. I think. I mean, I wanna ask you things. But I'm not sure that you want that."

"Ask me things," she whispered her reply, her voice breaking, "please."

"Okay. Goodnight Natasha," you whispered.

"Goodnight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was finally Christmas. You spent the morning roaming the streets, the shops. You still had a bit of money saved from Richard's gift that you wouldn't be buying, so maybe you'd spend it on something for yourself. Not enough for a camera, but enough for a record or two, maybe.

You entered the record store, flipping through the different genres aimlessly, until you found what you were looking for, even though you didn't know you were.

It was the record with the song you'd played to her on the piano. You didn't know if it was a present to you or to her yet, but you asked the cashier to wrap it.

In the early afternoon there was a knock at your door. You opened it to reveal Natasha, suitcase in tow, put together once more. She was as beautiful as always, but there was a different sort of beauty to her when she unraveled, hair down, strong and on the edge of desperate. You almost weirdly missed it, even if the circumstances when you'd seen her like that weren't… great.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she smiled.

"Not at all. Come on in," you gestured with a small smile.

"So. You got any photographs in here?" she asked, and maybe you actually liked the teasing glint in her eyes the best.

"Well, not the ones I took of you, but I do have some. Hold on," you went to a small cabinet in your kitchen, reaching to the back of it to pull out your stack of treasured photographs, the ones you liked the most so you kept.

You couldn't help but examine Natasha's face as closely as she was examining the photos. Seeing every twitch of her lips, every quirk of an eyebrow. "These are great," she complimented once she was done. "Is that what you want to be? A photographer?"

"I think so," you answered. "If I have any talent for it."

"Isn't that something other people let you know you have? All you can do is keep working. Use what feels right. Throw away the rest."

You could only nod at her words, not knowing what to say until she spoke up again.

"Now I'm glad I bought it."

"Huh?"

"Your gift. Come on," she led you to where she had left her suitcase. "Close your eyes," she winked, and you did, grinning as you listened to the sound of the zipper opening.

"Now… open them," she instructed gently.

In front of you, on top of the suitcase, was a camera. A real, good, new camera.

"I- Natasha, thank you so much, I don't even know… I mean, I couldn't possibly-"

"Nonsense," she dismissed, "it's a thank you for the glove and an apology, so just do me a favor and accept it."

"I- thank you," you repeated softly, still stunned.

"You're welcome, dear. Now, can I smoke in here?"

"There's a smoke detector. We could go on the roof," you suggested.

"Good. Lead the way," she gestured.

You led her onto your apartment building's roof, and watched as she leaned on the railing, lighting a cigarette. She sighed the smoke out through her red lips. "I'm going away for a while," she said.

Your brows furrowed on their own, and you spoke before you could think. "When? Where?"

"Wherever my car will take me." She took another puff of the cigarette and exhaled. "West. Soon. Bucky has Rindy for at least a month. He's lawyered up, with the divorce, and-" she sighed, "he won't let me see her for a few months."

A heavy silence settled between you. "And, I thought, perhaps, you might want to come with me," she continued. "Would you?

You didn't really think about it, but you knew that this time, it was right to say it. "Yes. Yes, I would."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You've never been on a road trip before.

Natasha and you stopped at a diner at the side of the road to have an early supper.

"Oh, I got you something too," you remembered. You considered giving it to her when you were packing, but it didn't feel like the right moment. You took out the wrapped record and extended it to her. "Open it."

"Oh, you shouldn't have," she smiled. You reached for your camera. "God, don't," she chuckled once she saw it, "I look a mess." She reached to smooth down her hair and you giggled.

"Come on, open it," you encouraged, "I'll get your reaction. It's good practice."

She huffed out another laugh and tore through the wrapping paper, and her face lit up when she saw the record. You took a picture, but you weren't sure if even the most advanced camera could've captured her lips with quite the same effect as seeing them in person.

"It has the song I played. On the piano," you explained bashfully.

"It's wonderful. Thank you," she smiled.

"Merry Christmas," you replied softly.

"Merry Christmas," she repeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week or so were spent driving. Lots and lots of driving. And stopping at a different motel every night.

At first you were hesitant, but you found it hard to stay that way in Natasha's company. She was always so assured, eloquent, regal almost in the way she carried herself. It was still a little odd to you that wherever she walked, not every singly person turned in her direction, gravitated towards her. Wasn't it the most natural thing in the world to do?

"Here, try this lipstick on," she said, giving you a red lipstick that seemed a shade darker than the one she was usually wearing. Although right now, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and you were both sitting on the carpeted floor of the motel you were in, the second night of the trip.

You applied it carefully and smacked your lips exaggeratedly a couple of times, making Natasha laugh. Her laugh was just as captivating as the rest of her.

"Now mascara," she extended another tube to you and took the lipstick back, your fingers brushing in the process. It inevitably happened a lot in the last few days, with you being around each other all the time. You liked it.

When you finished, she handed you a mirror, and you gaped at the woman staring back at you.

"You look great!" Natasha laughed at your stunned expression. "Beautiful," she murmured softly as you continued to look in the mirror.

The next day you were driving. Again.

"Are you thinking about Richard?" she asked.

"No," you answered. "I haven't thought about him all day. Or of home, really. Not yesterday either. Not the day before that. We're not… together anymore."

"Oh."

You talked on the road a lot. Sometimes you'd tell her funny stories about clients at the department store. She told you about her daughter a lot. You knew she loved her, her emotions apparent to you in the way her eyes lit up and her red lips quirked upwards just slightly.

You thought sometimes she looked at you like that, but it was probably just a trick of the light.

The fourth night you got into another motel. Again.

The woman at reception greeted you warmly and explained about their available rooms at Natasha's request.

"Our standard rooms come equipped with stereophonic console radios, or we do have the Presidential Suite available for a very attractive rate," she said.

"Two standard rooms should be fine then," Natasha took out her wallet to pay.

"Why not take the Presidential Suite?" you asked suddenly, surprising yourself. And Natasha as well, apparently, as she turned to look at you with that amused expression of hers. "I mean, if the rate's attractive," you shrugged.

"Sure. You're right, the rate is attractive," Natasha smiled, "We'll take it."

You didn't take separate rooms anymore. The endless hours on the roads, although seeming to you as fleeting moments, as not enough time, had brought you closer.

The fifth night, she was taking a shower and you had just come back into the room.

"Is that you?" she asked, and once you confirmed, continued, "can you fetch me my blue sweater? It's in my suitcase."

"Sure, hold on."

You opened her suitcase and started rummaging through it, trying not to leave a lot of mess. You found the sweater, but when you took it out, a glint caught your attention. You moved the clothes to uncover a small gun.

"Hey, you alright?" she called out.

"Yep, found it," you answered, hastily covering the gun again.

The next day you knew you had to say something.

"Do you feel safe?" you asked her. "With me?"

She only let out a baffled chuckle.

"If you weren't feeling safe, you would tell me," you continued, "right?"

"I mean yes. I guess so," she smiled. Even though she didn't take her eyes off of the road, you could see that familiar glint of amusement in them, and everything was okay.

You had a glass of wine with her the sixth night, giggling together about nothing and everything, and going to sleep with a pleasant feeling bubbling in your stomach. You took some pictures that night, like you did every day. Of her.

The next day was New Year's Eve.

You'd gotten a bottle of champagne from room service, and it wasn't that cold. This was a motel after all. So you went to the icebox to grab some ice.

Struggling a little, fumbling with the cold, you were grateful when a man came up next to you.

"Need help with that?" he smiled.

"Um, thank you," you said, somewhat awkwardly, as he got you the ice.

"Thanks, again. Goodnight," you smiled at him when he was done.

"You're welcome. Happy new year!" he smiled back.

You went back to the room, putting the champagne in the ice until it cooled. You sat at the vanity, which was the only table in the small room, and poured two glasses, extending one to Natasha, who was standing behind you.

"Happy new year," she smiled, raising her glass.

"Happy new year," you echoed, clinking your glass against hers, then taking a small sip, Natasha doing the same.

You turned back to face the mirror and she sighed. "Bucky and I never spend New Year's Eve together. Always a business function. Always clients to entertain."

"Well," you replied, "I always spend New Year's alone. In crowds." Looking into her eyes through the mirror, you added, "I'm not alone this year."

"Yeah," she murmured as you turned your head to look at her, tilting it up.

You were drowning, without your thoughts but with so many feelings you thought you would suffocate, and it never felt like that with Richard, how could it? he was never her.

If you wouldn't have closed the distance you thought you could have died. There was no other choice but to breath. Natural, undeniable.

Kissing Natasha was like fresh air, but also knocked the air out of your lungs, and also it was new and exciting but also achingly familiar as you drowned in the smell of her, stronger than you ever got to sense it, drowned in her lips, which you spent hours familiarizing yourself with from afar.

You ended up on a bed, and she was kissing along your neck, murmuring into your collarbones, "My angel. Flung out of space."

And you finally understood. You understood, and your entire body was thrumming with anticipation and with yes. And this was the most beautiful your name has ever sounded, you were now certain, falling from her lips like this. You knew now what it meant to be on the good edge of desperate and you've never loved anything more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning," you whispered as the first rays of sun burst through the window, caressing Natasha's arm. Her skin was smooth and milky and finally familiar.

"Morning," she smiled sleepily.

"I'll get up, see if I can get us some breakfast and if there's any mail maybe. Be back in a bit."

"Okay," she sighed, her eyes still closed.

Breakfast was only served in a designated room, but you did get two coffees, and, surprisingly, one letter addressed to Natasha.

Also surprisingly, she was up and dressed when you came back, and had almost finished packing your suitcases back up. Not that you unpacked much in the first place.

You handed her a coffee, made the way you knew she took it, with a smile. She took a grateful sip and sent you a bright smile.

"There was a letter for you," you said, handing it to her and taking her place putting her clothes back in her suitcase as she opened it.

Her face was growing darker by the second though, and by the time she was done reading you had already hastily finished packing, now tensely focused on her face.

"My suitcase," she said curtly, her jaw locking. "I need- where's my suitcase?"

"It's right here," you answered, showing her. "Natasha, what happened?"

"Where is it," she mumbled, opening her suitcase and moving the clothes around in a frenzy.

"What's going on?" you asked again, your worry increasing, and increasing even more when she found what she was apparently looking for. The gun.

"Natasha, please, tell me what's wrong!"

But it was to no avail. You followed her as she went out of the room and let herself into the neighboring room, where the man who helped you with the ice last night was.

As was equipment. Lots of wires and electrical parts, connected inside the suitcase. And to the wall his room shared with yours.

"Where's the tape?" Natasha asked, pointing the gun at the man, her eyes filling with tears. Was it rage? Sadness? What did the letter even say?

The man raised his arms from where he was rolling up some wires. "Whoa, let's calm down and-"

"Where's the tape, bastard?" Natasha repeated, cocking the gun. "How much did he give you for it? I'd give you more."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I don't have it. I sent it already. I get paid to be good at my job."

"You sick-" she breathed heavily, "how could you do this?"

"As I said, I get paid to be good at my job. Your husband paid me to get this tape and get it to him as soon as possible, and I did. Nothing personal."

She stared at him for a few more tense moments as you processed what he just said, processed what the device was, what tape she was talking about.

This was all your fault. She could lose Rindy over this. And all because you were stupid enough to say yes.

Then, Natasha sighed shakily, lowering the gun and storming out. She put it back in the suitcase, and wordlessly, you helped her get the suitcases into the car. And you drove off.

"We're going to Chicago," she said.

You didn't answer, still looking out of your window.

"What are you thinking? You know how many times a day I ask you that?" Natasha asked sternly.

"Sorry," you sighed. "What am I thinking? I'm thinking that I'm utterly selfish."

"Don't do this. You had no idea. How could you have known?"

"I should have said no to you, but I never say no," you continued, tears filling your eyes. "And it's selfish because... because I just take everything, and I don't even know anything. And I don't even know what I want. How could I when all I ever do is say yes to everything?"

You couldn't stifle your sobs anymore, turning your head even further towards the window and breathing rapidly, trying to compose yourself as quickly as possible. You weren't even the one that should be falling apart right now. If anyone had the right to do so, it's her.

Natasha abruptly stopped at the side of the road. She turned to you, and gently reached out and tilted your face towards her.

"Listen to me," she said softly, and you looked into her eyes. It was a force of nature that drew you to always look at her, stronger than you. "I took what you gave willingly. It's not your fault. Okay?"

You swallowed around the lump in your throat, only managing to nod as your answer. It was enough for Natasha, who went back to driving.

You got to Chicago that evening. You would've marveled at the large city and its lights if it were any other day.

"Ah, a real bed," Natasha sighed, plopping down on one of the beds in your room.

Not answering, you sat down on the other and took off your shoes.

"You don't have to, you know," she whispered. "Sleep in the other bed."

You got up and made your way to her outstretched arms, not even changing your clothes. Just being engulfed by her was almost overwhelming again, and with everything that happened that day and the night before, you fell asleep in no time, her comforting smell the last thing you registered.

When you woke up, the smell was but a faint trace. Natasha was gone, and there was another woman sitting on the chair in the room where you put your suitcases yesterday, where Natasha's suitcase was now gone.

The woman had blue eyes and reddish-brown hair, nowhere near as bright as your Natasha.

"Is she gone?" you asked, your voice a mere whisper.

"We should have breakfast," she answered instead, "I'll let you get ready."

"Wait," you called out, louder than was necessary, the sound of your voice grating even on your own ears. It was easier with Natasha. Talking. "Who are you?" you asked.

"Wanda Maximoff," the woman answered. "Now come on, we don't have all day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Down at breakfast, you were sitting across from Wanda and sipping your coffee silently, your uneaten food seemingly staring back at you.

"Eat," Wanda instructed, "We have a long drive."

"Why do you hate me?"

"Who told you that?" she said, sounding annoyed. "If I hated you, do you think I'd be here to drive you home?"

"You're doing that for Natasha, not for me," you mumbled.

Wanda just sighed, telling you to eat again and taking a bite of her own food. You took a bite of yours but couldn't leave it alone.

"You love her, don't you?"

"Look, what Natasha and I have had… it's very different. We go way back," she looked up at you, the ghost of a sad smile on her lips. Not as pretty as your Natasha. "We were best friends, and then we were more than that for a little bit. When we both needed it. And we're still best friends. I've known her since we were both very young."

You nodded at her words, taking a few more bites of your food while she rummaged around her purse.

"There you go," she extended you an envelope. It carried the same faint trace of Natasha's perfume just like the sheets in the morning, and it made your stomach churn. "She left this for you."

"Okay," you whispered, swallowing and nodding weakly.

"If you're done, we should get going."

You only opened the envelope when you were securely in the backseat of Wanda's car, her eyes occupied on the road.

You couldn't resist the urge to take a hesitant sniff of it. Because it smelled like her. Then, you could stall no longer, and you opened it and started reading, your eyes filling with more and more tears with every line.

Dearest,

There are no accidents, and he would have found us one way or another. Everything comes full circle. Be grateful it was sooner rather than later.

You'll think it harsh of me to say so, but no explanation I offer will satisfy you. Please don't be angry when I tell you that you seek resolutions and explanations because you are young. But you will understand this one day. And when it happens, I want you to imagine me there to greet you, our lives stretched out ahead of us, a perpetual sunrise.

But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, and you, my darling, even more. Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can... I release you.

-N

And before you knew it tears were streaming down your face because it was all so painfully unfair. Because you knew that maybe there was some truth to her words. Because you knew she needed to fight for her daughter, and you by her side would only hinder her.

Because there was a small, selfish part of you that didn't care, that wanted nothing more than to be by her side, no matter what, to be with her, like a moth drawn to a flame, no rational thought, only feelings so strong you were certain you couldn't feel without her ever again.

You couldn't stifle your sobs anymore, and Wanda heard, pulling over near a patch of grass on the side of the road. You left the letter on the seat and rushed out, running, the sheer force of your crying sending bile up your throat. You heaved over the grass, throwing up what little breakfast you had.

You were panting, breathing uneven, your heart erratically beating in your chest as you fought to control it, when Wanda came up behind you and put a hand on your back.

Without words, you knew what she was saying. You had to continue.

And you did. You continued.

Quit your job at the department store too, since your eyes would stay fixed on the entrance, expecting her to somehow walk in, to have a second chance. It hurt too much.

At first, you thought about getting a similar job in retail, but Natasha's words rang in your ears.

All you can do is keep working. Use what feels right. Throw away the rest.

You got a job as an assistant photographer at the local newspaper.

But other than that, you tried to erase every trace of Natasha from your life, but to no avail. You couldn't bring yourself to throw away the countless photos you had taken of her, nor the letter. They were kept in the back of another cabinet.

And it's not like you could throw the camera away.

So every day, you'd live with her shadow looming over you. You knew you shouldn't, that you should try harder to forget her. But even the shadow of her presence had a certain comfort, and you took what you could get. Even if you'd probably never see her again, you couldn't unsee her, in wisps of red hair, an elegant coat, lipstick red lips. Never her, never as captivating as her, but always undeniable getting your attention for a brief second, daring to hope that maybe- but it never was.

Three months passed like that, without any word from her. Until one day, you were called out of a newspaper meeting, saying there was a letter for you. Surprisingly, you didn't immediately hope it was her, it took you a minute or two as you excused yourself. Maybe you were getting better.

But even more surprisingly, it was from her.

I'm in town, so I thought we could chat if you want. Meet me at the Ritz restaurant, 7 pm. We'll get dinner.  

If you can't come, I'll understand.

-N

You toyed around with the idea of not coming for the rest of the afternoon, but you were fooling no one, least of all yourself.

You left early to go home and get ready and arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. There was a reservation with Natasha's name. You sat at the table and waited.

And 7 pm passed, and then every minute seemed like forever. She was late. And maybe she wouldn't come at all, and it was all some sort of joke. And maybe you shouldn't have come, shouldn't have dared to hope-

But there she was. Red lipstick, a light grey coat, a hat over her perfectly neat hair. Put together, elegant.

Although now, you knew she looked even better when she wasn't put together, when she was falling apart, or falling asleep. Knowing what she was like when she wasn't put together made it odd to see her like this, made you crave seeing her in her natural state again, made you crave to set her free. But you still wondered how it was possible that no one turned their head to look at her, how can no one see what you see, feel what you feel, your gaze drawn to her the most natural thing in the world.

And before you knew it, one look at her and you were falling again, fast and scary.

Her eyes caught yours from across the room and lit up. She made her way over to you, shedding her coat and putting neatly on the back of her chair before sitting down.

Once again, you were forcefully reminded of how beautiful your name sounded when she said it.

"Hello," she smiled.

"Hello," you echoed hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," she started.

"I know."

"Rindy is with Bucky now."

"I'm sorry," you said genuinely. You imagined how hard that must be on her.

"I get visits. It's for the best," she smiled sadly. "It's settled. So, I have an apartment in the city now," she said. You had nothing to answer now. "Although it is quite too big for only me, I've discovered. I was wondering if you were in search of a new place, or a roommate, but that's…" she chuckled, "I'm guessing you aren't."

You opened your mouth to talk but had nothing to say. Because of course your first instinct was to say yes, always yes when she was the one asking. You've learned to say no to other people, but not to her. You didn't think you were capable of it.

But you shouldn't say yes. Because that would be selfish. So you didn't say anything.

"I love you," she whispered.

And oh, every time she says your name you think it's the most beautiful one, but this is surely it.

But still, wouldn't it be selfish to say it back? Wouldn't it be dangerous to fall so fast with no way back up?

Before you could muster the ability to speak, someone else called your name. Unpleasant and too loud.

"Hey, what's up!" he came up to your table, "Oh, I don't mean to interrupt your diner," he said once he registered Natasha's presence.

"Josh, Natasha Romanoff. Natasha, Josh, a writer for the newspaper I work in," you reluctantly introduced. You watched her as a wistful smile made its way onto her lips. You didn't tell her about the job yet, and she seemed pleased, although not happy.

"Nice to meet you," Josh smiled.

"You too," she nodded her head at him, her smile warm enough now. But it was the artificial warmness of a lamp, dim and incomparable to what it looked like when she was really smiling. A perpetual sunrise.

"Well, I just saw you," Josh turned back to you, "and wondered if you were coming by to Ron's party tonight."

"I am," you nodded. Ron was throwing a birthday party. He was your coworker, it would be rude not to go. Even though you hadn't remembered his party up until right now.

"Well, great! I'm actually going right now, so if you want a ride…"

"Oh, you should get a ride," Natasha said, gathering her gloves and coat.

"Great! I'll bring the car around, so go outside in a few minutes," Josh smiled.

"I'm meeting up with some friends at Viognier later anyway," Natasha explained. "If you get bored of your party, come by. I think you'd like them," she smiled sadly, before getting up and leaving.

And then it was all moving very fast, and you were getting in Josh's car, and going to the party, and wishing Ron a happy birthday, and being numb, so very numb. Like you felt the first time she left. Like life itself became dull, void of color.

The party started picking up, and there were quite a lot of people there, but it didn't matter, all you knew was that you were alone in a crowd once more. And now that you knew the alternative, you couldn't bear it.

You slipped away from the party and took a cab to Viognier.

"Hello," the host greeted you, "Do you have a reservation?"

"No, I- I'm looking for someone," you pushed past him, frantically walking into the restaurant, looking around, and then finally locating her, sitting at a far-off table, slowly making your way towards it.

And finally, it all clicked.

As you saw her, before she noticed you, she was glowing in the dim restaurant light, just like she was that first lunch you had together, and every day you have known her since. And when she did notice you, and your eyes met from across the room, her shine brightened, her smile warm like the sun.

And that's when you knew. You were flung out of space. You didn't belong here on earth, never did. Except when you were in her arms, except when you were with her. Your very own sun, your very own north star. Then, you belonged. You belonged to her, and she to you.

You could never give that up, no matter what either of you had thought.

"Hello," she greeted once you came to the table.

"Hi," you replied bashfully.

And you knew, with absolute certainty, that she could read you like an open book, knew the yes in your eyes, knew what you were really saying when you asked, "may I join you?"

I love you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well, again, if you’ve stuck with this till the end - ily. i seemingly can’t write anything short these days lmao, it’s taking me time i don’t have off of studying:,) lol, but it’s worth it. i’ve wanted to write this fic since i’ve first watched the movie last year, so please, feel free to tell me your thoughts!! take care<3

Taglist:  @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies  @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash @imvivian  @sleutherclaw @farzanam2004 @yeeterthekeeper @justile

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

[thelarryficrecplace]

Larry Fics Masterpost - Christmas Edition 2019

Merry Christmas people!! It’s this time of the year again! Following my previous masterpost, I’ve decided to make an updated one!

Here’s some more of my absolutely favourite Christmas fics:

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

Word count: 2,421

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

Word count: 2,853

You Should Be Here With Me by dimpled_halo:

Summary: Louis is finishing the last touches of his outfit when the doorbell chimes downstairs. He freezes midway through buttoning his shirt. Again, if he’d known what was going to happen today he’d have brought a better outfit, but it’s whatever. He holds his breath, hearing as the door is opened and some murmurs Louis can’t quite make out. He doesn’t miss the deep rumble of Harry’s voice. Louis may not be able to understand what is being said from up here, but that deep voice is unmistakable. It sends shivers through his body.

Louis is home for the holidays and doesn't expect his mum to invite his ex and his family over for Christmas. All the feelings he's had bottled up since breaking up with Harry before going to uni come back in full force.

Word count: 3,000

Snowdrops and Mice Pops by OhHarold:

Summary: The boys are stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas incapable of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. A botched together friends Christmas would have to do.

Word count: 3,300

Make The Yuletide Gay by hollytabatha:

Summary: Louis has a disdain for Christmas songs and ugly Christmas sweaters, but maybe spending a night with Harry will change that for good.

Word count: 3,411

One Week, Eight Hours by daggerinrose:

Summary: or: a production assistant with no experience in front of a camera interviews a rockstar with old shoes and a distasteful attitude.

Word count: 3,560

Unto You by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Louis is a lamplighter celebrating the saturnalia season in his own way.Harry is heavily pregnant and new in the city.The holiday of Christmas is yet to be created.

Word count: 3,671

pull your-elf together by EmmyLouWho:

Summary: Or: Santa's Winter Wonderland is a great place to fall in love.

Word count: 3,947

Santa's Lap by larryatendoftheday:

Summary: A Christmas story about unexpected gifts, featuring Harry as a mall Santa and Louis as a great big brother.

Word count: 4,227

Is that a candy cane in your pocket? by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: Louis accuses Harry of shoplifting. Harry was definitely not shoplifting.

They work it out.

Word count: 4,868

i'll be yours for christmas by rina_a:

Summary: My family invited you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry.

Word count: 4,874

since we've no place to go (let it snow) by midnights:

Summary: ft. harry flaunting his cooking skills, crying at classic christmas movies, and a dog named george bailey.

Word count: 4,759

Set Your Heart A-Whirl by QuickedWeen:

Summary: Harry comes home for his family's big Christmas party and learns something surprising about his past.

Word count: 4,975

In this light (I fell for you) by Larryfissure:

Summary: Christmas AU where Harry is going to perform his very first concert and Louis is his mute (and very supportive) boyfriend. Also lots of kittens, bad puns and boyfriends being cute.

Word count: 5,334

Sympathy For The Devil by taggiecb:

Summary: Or the one with Santa Harry and Satan Louis and a series of misspelled letters to Santa.

Word count: 5,412

I'll Wait Up For You, Dear by dimpled_halo:

Summary: After not being able to afford to go home for the holidays, Louis is resigned to spend Christmas alone. When he stumbles upon his neighbor, Harry, he realizes he might not be so lonely after all.

Word count: 5,753

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm by haloeverlasting:

Summary: Or, Louis' heat is out, Harry's a terrible upstairs neighbor, and an empty Christmas tree is the perfect excuse to fall in love.

Word count: 7,477

You're Never Alone with a Moon this Bright by HelloAmHere:

Summary: Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.

Word count: 7,619

Rated R by cherrystreet:

Summary: Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry's family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues.

Word count: 7,635

A Story For the Ages by FallingLikeThis:

Summary:  He should have known it was coming. After seven months of pretending to have a boyfriend in order to keep his mum from meddling in his love life again, he should have realized he’d have to actually introduce her to someone eventually.

Word count: 7,706

Moon Wrapped in Gold Paper by larrymylove:

Summary: The first time Louis meets Harry, several things go very wrong.

Word count: 7,932

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38:

Summary: "So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Word count: 8,780

Meet Me Underneath The Mistletoe by 4ureyesonly28:

Summary: Louis flies out to Chicago for business just before Christmas... His flight home is cancelled because of a snow storm and he ends up going to his colleague Niall's Christmas party where he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. And if they end up under the mistletoe within less than an hour then that's nobody's business but theirs.

Word count: 8,831

There's really nothing better (than a beautiful boy in an ugly Christmas sweater) by we_are_the_same:

Summary: In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Louis takes on a few more shifts at his part time job to be able to buy Christmas presents for his family and friends. In comes Harry, who might be everything Louis had never asked for. Featuring ugly Christmas Sweaters, too many Christmas songs, and not enough snow.

Word count: 9,087

you've set my soul to dreaming by we_are_the_same:

Summary: Or: Thirty year old Harry Styles goes to bed single on Christmas Eve, only to wake up on Christmas morning with a husband in his bed and a son down the hall.

Word count: 9,279

Make The Yuletide Gay by flowercrownfemme:

Summary: A Christmas In Connecticut AU in which Louis is a mommy blogger, Harry is a pop star, and nobody's really what they seem. Featuring a lot of lying, tons of domesticity, some badly faked heterosexuality, and a few Christmas kisses.

Word count: 9,769

sidewalk angels echo hallelujah by nooelgallagher:

Summary: When Louis' dog goes missing 7 days before Christmas, he doesn't have much hope for a Christmas reunion. But miracles come in all shapes and sizes, and Harry just might take the form of his.

Word count: 9,978

Brighten My Northern Sky by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: Harry, Louis, a phone number and fate

Word count: 10,030

make my wish come true by flicker_album:

Summary: Or the one where Louis starts decorating for Christmas in November and Harry indulges him.

Word count: 10,137

The Clock Strikes Christmas by jacaranda_bloom:

Summary: OR the one where Louis needs someone to love, Harry needs a miracle, and sometimes, wishes really do come true.

Word count: 10,498

Candy Cane Eyes by larryent:

Summary: It’s the Christmas season in New York City. There are far too many mistletoes hanging in Harry's apartment building and there is a pair of mischievous candy cane blue eyes who is responsible.

Word count: 10,703

and marshmallows by BriaMaria:

Summary: The one where Harry has a personal attachment to Louis' house, and Louis can't stop picturing the beautiful stranger dancing in his kitchen.

Word count: 10,729

Take Your Time by Layne Faire (HisDarlin):

Summary: When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him?

Word count: 11,556

Maybe I'm Crazy To Suppose by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: A breakup before Christmas sends Harry back to a place he'd been avoiding for years.

One night with a stranger makes him want to stay.

Word count: 12,665

If the Fates Allow by afirethatcannotdie:

Summary: Louis yells at a stranger in a shop and a few days later, needs his help. Desperately. Then he discovers he’s kind of in love with him.

Word count: 13,039

The Christmas Lift by homosociallyyours:

Summary: Louis lies about having a boyfriend to avoid being set up on a blind date by an overzealous co-worker, but now he's in desperate need of a fake boyfriend for his office holiday party. He’s complaining about it on the phone to Liam when Harry, his unknown but hot neighbor, overhears him in the lift and offers to help.

It doesn't take long for Louis to realize he wishes things weren't quite so fake, but he's afraid it'll take a Christmas miracle to make anything happen.

Word count: 13,150

Christmas, Baby by nikogda:

Summary: Or, The one where the exact thing that Harry thinks is derailing his life plan might be exactly what he needs.

Word count: 13,191

Wrap me up in your Love by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is pregnant and keeps getting interrupted in the most obscure ways every time he tries to tell Harry.

Word count: 13,223

to the light by fondleeds:

Summary: AU. Harry is a mermaid lost at sea and Louis is a boy determined to make his first Christmas a memorable one.

Word count: 13,304

Moments Stay When People Leave... by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry gets lost in the memories of the best relationship he'd ever had, and then threw away, breaking two hearts. He makes a decision just before Christmas, and can only hope Louis feels the same...

Word count: 13,855

All I Want Is You (This Christmas) by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: Harry broke up with Louis early in 2014. Louis is trying to figure out life without Harry. Being stuck together on a Christmas vacation might just mend everything.

Word count: 14,019

Come What May by sincewewereeighteen:

Summary: The one in which Harry and Louis have been separated for almost a year, but their kids ask Santa to bring them together again.

Word count: 14,049

Made From Love by lovelarry10:

Summary: It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

Word count: 14,690

This Winter's Day by QuickedWeen :

Summary: Louis is Harry's stablemaster, and when he falls ill and his mother turns to Harry to help her try and find someone he can settle down with, it's only natural that Harry suggests himself.

Word count: 14,871

The Lights Will Guide You Home by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: The one where two oblivious men haven’t quite figured it out yet - but it may be too late for them.

Word count: 16,916

Christmas at the Holly Lodge by lululawrence:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is the owner of the Holly Lodge, Harry is an investment advisor, and maybe Christmas miracles really do exist.

Word count: 17,387

Make You Feel My Love by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Harry decides the best way to go about telling his best friend that he's in love with him is to catch him under a conveniently placed mistletoe but that's not what happens.

Word count: 17,442

My Only Wish by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Or an Secret Santa AU where Louis doesn’t know how it works and keeps giving Harry gifts and being not so obvious about his flirting.

Word count: 17,918

An Aurora Grove Christmas by dandelionfairies:

Summary: Harry gets lost on his way to St. Louis. The roads are horrid because of the snow and he ends up spinning into a ditch. Lucky for him, he finds a cabin nearby, as well as a cute blue-eyed man who immediately helps him. Unfortunately, his car is stuck for the night, but at least he has a place to stay with Louis. With the snow continuing to fall and another storm front coming through, will he ever make it out of Aurora Grove? Does he even want to?

Word count: 17,930

Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) by 2tiedships2:

Summary: Or the one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

Word count: 18,474

Part 2 here

This Winter Dream by hopeneverdies:

Summary: Louis Tomlinson is on his way home from New York City to spend Christmas with his family, but his trip is temporarily halted when his car breaks down in a small town upstate. A lonely barista, named Harry, offers him a place to stay for the night. It doesn't take long before Louis wants to offer something to Harry in return.

Word count: 19,065

Reindeer Games by Throwthemflowers:

Summary: Louis is a disgruntled elf and Harry is one of Santa’s reindeer. Featuring classic miscommunication, heaps of unrequited pining, gratuitous smut (with a bit of, shall we say, horseplay), a pinch of NYC holiday magic, and a sickening amount of Christmas Spirit.

Word count: 19,639

Six Weeks by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: When Harry takes the afternoon shift at the cafe, he meets a boy who drinks a lot of tea and never remembers his umbrella.

Word count: 20,023

All I Want For Christmas (Is Lou) by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Harry and Louis are each others Secret Santa

Word count: 20,550

So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr:

Summary: Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates.

Word count: 21,355

Better Not Pout, I'm Telling You Why by runaway_train:

Summary: The one where Harry still believes in Santa Claus and Louis doesn't want to be the one to burst his bubble.

Word count: 24,545

Lovin' you is a gift by messofgorgeouschaos:

Summary: With his 28th birthday approaching, Louis was looking forward to celebrating in New York City with an all-expenses paid trip. He just didn't expect to spend it with an escort when he suddenly finds himself single a few days before it. A Pretty Woman AU.

Word count: 25,462

Waited All Year To Be Near by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry’s preparing for the holidays at home with his four children while Louis is deployed. All he wants is his husband home for Christmas. But Louis’ half a world away...

Word count: 27,399

Let It Snow by crescentmoonshine:

Summary: Four years, four disastrous Christmas parties, four disastrous attempts to get it right.

Word count: 27,858

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups:

Summary: Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.

Word count: 31,880

From the Start by Anonymous:

Summary: Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Word count: 32,185

Frosted Kisses by bromanceorromance:

Summary: Harry and Niall run a bakery called Sweet Cheeks. Louis is in line to become the next Santa Claus, but his best friend, Zayn, is the only one that knows. Louis wants Harry as soon as he sees him, but he's not ready to interrupt Harry's life with the "I'm the next Santa" news until it's almost too late.

Word count: 34,135

Latching Onto You by reminiscingintherain:

Summary: Or, the one where Louis wants to book Harry Styles to perform at his best friends' wedding.

Word count: 34,313

Find You Home by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays.

What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle.

Featuring lovesick idiots, kissing and cuddling, pies and Christmas clichés.

Word count: 35,388

Feels Like Christmas by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry Styles has always loved Christmas - it’s his favourite holiday, but there’s always been something missing.

Louis Tomlinson has been running from his pain, and is determined to ignore the holidays once more, choosing to spend them in solitude.

When they meet - entirely by chance - it could be just what they both need this Christmas...

Word count: 49,630

the impossible now by stylinsoncity:

Summary: A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

Word count: 64,839

[outroshooky]

“the dawn before sunrise is darker than anything

but never forget the stars you hope for only appear in the dark”

a young man once told me that the dawn before the sun rises is always the darkest.

another young man told me that we can only live for today and the self we choose to grow into, day after day after day. we may not know about tomorrow, but we can certainly choose who we become in the end. 

it is nearly 2020- the end of this decade, the start of the next. the holiday season is a time of wonderful joy and celebration, but it is also a time of quiet reflection.

the idea of tomorrow has stuck with me month after month this year, for some reason. perhaps it’s a byproduct of struggling with dissociation, trying to get a grasp of what exactly it means to be real and present in life. perhaps it’s living in a world where nothing is guaranteed, where i have teachers who break me down rather than build me up by telling me that it is shameful to be a woman, god forbid a gay person who speaks her mind. indeed, something i’ve always taken for granted- tomorrow creeping in its petty pace, as it so likes to do- is suddenly juxtaposed against a great backdrop of change. this year meant finding an amazing therapist; gaining an understanding of self-love; solidifying who I am without the spindly, choking threads of trauma; and so, so much more.

who says that we are entitled to a tomorrow? who decides who lives, who dies, who falls somewhere in the middle?

there have been weeks this year where i begged that tomorrow wouldn’t come in hopes it would offer some sort of respite from everything i felt at the time, some ounce of shelter. on those days, i paid attention to lyrics that told me to accelerate more, not to get too far away, reminding me that i am loved without fail even when I find it impossible to look at the reflection staring back at me in the mirror.

thankfully, after falling headlong into them for days at a time, those weeks are in the past. i’m no longer holding onto a wisp, but grabbing a fistful and clutching onto it with everything I’ve got. in june 2020, i leave to pursue my childhood dream, putting everything aside and diving headfirst into a brand new world, with no idea of what may come. if seven months from now is the dawn, there are several hundred days of darkness i’ll have to wade through before i get there.

but i’m not afraid anymore.

i don’t know if i’m entitled to tomorrow. i don’t know if i’ll make it to that day, or the day after, or the next month, or to that fated day in june when i pack everything into the trunk of the car and shed a tear or two. i’ll never know until i live and breathe it, but i’m at peace with it. the north star will always shine in the heavens just as surely as we will change, but i am secure in the knowledge that i am evolving for the better. i am evolving for the days that i can look myself in the mirror and not be so critical about the way that shirt hugs my curves. i am evolving for the days that i can let go of my concerns and run headlong into life without being so worried about what happens as a result. i am evolving too for the days when the most i am capable of is retreating away from the world into the safety of my own bedsheets. it is those days, the ones where i doubt if the next will ever come, that the stars will shine down at me and smile just a little bit brighter.

thank you for the laughs, the tears, the sense of community, and falling in love with something that is bigger than yourself that will have your back without fail. thank you for your feedback and for reading my works, even if it’s just one word at a time. thank you for supporting me, for trusting me, for being patient with me.

thank you for walking with me on this journey into tomorrow, for painting the dawn in crimson and orange and the prettiest shades of pink. i can’t wait to see what the daylight brings.

merry christmas everyone, and have a blessed new year.

all my love, hope

“however it goes, it doesn't matter, yeah, yeah

it may be different to what you were hoping for

how you live on and how you love might change

that’s true

yeah, so, are you gonna move?

we are too young to be hesitating, just run head-on onto it

so what you gonna do?”

⤷ suga’s interlude; 2019

(a very belated) follow forever, for those who made 2019 such a special year!

🌙 = mutuals!; 💌 = a message for you can be found below!

a-m 

@170v3you🌙 / @94hixtape🌙 💌 / @a-big-woofle🌙 💌 / @aegissi / @baeseoul / @blushnote / @btssmutgalore 🌙 💌 / @chwepen / @dearlytea 🌙 / @diabolusdamnoselaborat 🌙 /  @fyeahsuga / @goldenscript / @gukgalore / @guksheart🌙 💌 / @gukster🌙 / @haoaiini / @hobidreams / @honeymoonjin 🌙   / @jincherie / @jingetspegged 🌙 💌 / @joonbird 🌙 / @junghelioseok / @jurngkook / @kassareo / @kookosaur / @kookyjin / @minjoun / @mi-ss-o / @moonmonos 🌙

n-z

@pantaemonium / @pjmskosmos 🌙 / @prolixitae 💌 / @pvrpletae 🌙 / @readyplayerhobi / @ruy-tan / @sanada6 🌙 / @seokjinglebells 🌙 💌 / @seulin / @slipped-away / @spidey-son 🌙 / @sugasinterlude 🌙 / @sugaxjpg / @syuga / @valetonvi / @versigny / @winetae / @writingseoul / @yoonsgiggle 🌙 💌  / @yooyoohoratio 🌙

a letter for you / sincerely, me

💌 @94hixtape:

my dear lu, it’s your old friend hope. i miss you more every day that goes by. i know life hasn’t been very kind to you, and i hope things have started looking up for you since the last time we talked briefly. i don’t expect you to see this anytime soon, but it feels wrong somehow to not write a dedication to you. although we only knew each other for what feels like the briefest of moments in the grand scheme of it all, you impacted me in a way few others have. you’re forever kind, full of endless love that overflows and bursts from the seams in the best way possible. you are warm and compassionate and good, and you impacted my heart with rays of sunlight, bountiful and bright. i cannot even describe how much i miss you; there’s so much to tell you. every time i see a sunset, i think of you.

i love you always, once around the sun and back again.

💌 @a-big-woofle​

woofle, we’ve found ourselves perched on the cusp of a new start, it seems. we’ve known each other since the first day of kindergarten many moons ago, and to imagine life without you is to imagine lungs without breath. we’ve completed each other for years now: the yin to my yang, tik to my tok, peanut butter to my jelly. they say hundreds of miles cannot separate two hearts who truly care, and it’s our bond that has taught us the truth in that statement. i miss you so much, but i can’t wait to explore disney with you next year- not as the gangly, awkward kids we once were, but as best friends in adulthood, just being with each other in all of the goodness of those words.

you are loved beyond words and you are so more than your flaws. i’m beyond proud of everything we’ve achieved and i cannot wait to make more memories with you.

💌  @btssmutgalore​

dee, i know that we’ve barely talked, but you’ve helped me heal in ways others cannot even dream of touching. sin city was a series i read before i even created a tumblr account, and it ended up meaning more to me than i could have ever imagined. the way you speak your voice touches my heart over and over and gives me hope that i will someday be in a position to learn to trust again in the same way that jimin does. when i feel absolutely broken, your fics remind me that healing is not a linear process; i feel safe when i am immersed in your writing. 

there is such goodness in your heart and it does not go unnoticed. thank you for helping me fight the worst of my trauma and realize that i’m not a broken person- i just need a little bit of patience. 

💌 @guksheart​

cait, my dear, it’s been five months since we last saw each other, but it feels like a century has gone by. you will be here! in two months!! i’m counting down the days, i really am.

there were times this year when we didn’t think we were going to make it. we braced ourselves for the brunt of the impact, but when it hit, we didn’t shatter. we may have cracked, but like the japanese pottery tradition, we filled those crevices in with gold. we truly are shining, even in the darkest moments of the night when we can’t see our own glow. it is that bond that will keep us going, because as long as you reflect in me and i in you, we can recognize that beautiful innate worth we share.

i am honored to walk into tomorrow with you- my platonic soulmate, sister, best friend, fellow crackhead, therapist, gay mother, ramen enthusiast, cat lover, future author, psych nerd, the yoongi to my jungkook, and so much more. i love you more than words can express, and i know tim and kurt do, too.

💌 @jingetspegged​

elin, i know we’re not very close, but your posts constantly and consistently make my day. thank you for being unapologetically you- it is a dose of reality that i need and a reminder that there is space in the world to be who you are and exactly who you’re meant to be. you’re proud to be yourself and that’s something i could really learn from. plus, you’re a jin stan, which means you’re automatically one of the best people out there. 

thank you for being an inspiration to a young gay trying to find her place in the world. all my love to you!

💌 @seokjinglebells​​

meara!!! i am so glad we’ve become close recently; i’ve been blessed with an angel at my side. you helped make one of the darkest times of my life just a little bit brighter, and your words bring solace to my heart. i truly hope we get to meet someday, because i think we’d have the best adventures together. 

never forget how sweet and kind and lovely you are, like a flower that blooms year-round despite the frost and the rain. in fact, you flourish despite these things- a source of goodness and beauty no matter what life throws your way. i adore you with every ounce of my being!

💌 @yoonsgiggle​

hannah, if i could wrap min yoongi himself in a box and give him to you, i would. your soul is too good for this world, but at the same time you are a living example of what yoon meant when he said “may your trials end in full bloom.” even on days when it feels like the world is collapsing, know that you are loved and there are so many wonderful things in store for you. 

you inspire me not only as a writer, but as a person. i wish i could have as much love in my heart for the simple things as you do in yours.

happy holidays, everyone. here’s to a christmas season filled with peace in our hearts and joy in our souls, wherever we may find it. 

[profoundnet]

Profound Member Post - December 2018

Header by @pantydean and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord Server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in entirely during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR DECEMBER 2018!

Masterpost below the cut.

lunastories - @lunastories - lunastories

Inked Feathers, Wounded Skin

Summary: Retired hunters Dean and Sam live in a cabin in the woods, only occasionally taking cases from nearby villagers and those who need their help. Castiel is the very protective harpy that has been awkwardly following (stalking) Dean for years. After Castiel injures a wing, he is taken in by the Winchesters. As Dean tends to him, they form a relationship, and Dean slowly falls for the harpy. But the unique peach cream color of Castiel’s wings hides a secret; one he isn’t sure Dean could accept.

SFW Accompanying art by @correlia-be

supernatural9917 

Supernatural Advent Calendar 2018

Summary: A collection of art and ficlets for every day of advent! A mix of fluff, a lil bit of smut, ugly sweaters, extra fluff, a pinch of schmoop and, oh yeah, more fluff.

NSFW

Accompanying art by @foxymoley

Strangers in the Night

Summary: Dean meets Cas in a bar. They both have rings on their fingers, but that doesn't stop them sharing a night of passion. Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo. Square fill: Roleplay as strangers in a bar.

Tags: roleplay as strangers in a bar, mention of infidelity, but it isn't really, Crash and Slow Burn verse

NSFW

Locked Out

Summary: Dean is always getting drunk and locking himself out, then calling his locksmith buddy Castiel to get him back in. This time is a little different, though.

Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo. Square fill: One is a locksmith and the other is locked out and naked.

NSFW

iCeDreams - iCeDreams 

Fully Booked

Summary: Dean just wants to buy a book for Christmas. Is that too much to ask for?

Tags: Bookstore Setting

SFW

MarshiarasDream & HeartsandThumbs 

Who Needs 12 Days of Christmas Anyway? 

Summary: Cas has finally told his parents that he’s gay. That promptly led to him being uninvited from the family Christmas. So he plans on spending the holidays on his own, grading papers. Enter Dean, who will not let this stand. No way will he let his best friend - who he may or may not be harboring a crush on - be alone for Christmas.

Tags: AU, College AU, ChristmasFluff, Pining, yes there’s mistletoe, Gratuitous Hamilton References, Idiots in Love, alternating pop

SFW

mrshays - @mrshays - mrshays

Elves

Summary: The elves take over the bunker for the Holiday Drabble Prompts list. 39. How many elves on the shelf is too many? 11. When I think about you, I touch my elf Prompts written by @kpopfanfictrash, @knockknocksoosthere, and @chanesollins

Tags: Double Drabble, Christmas Fluff, Jack's Three Dads, Elf on the Shelf, Dadstiel

SFW

artbloggouinetteparletrop - @artbloggouinetteparletrop - gouinette-parle-trop

Under the Pillowfort 

Summary: A quick comic type of drawing i did to celebrate my first week on pillowfort. Dean and cas (college AU) are enjoying a cosy night under a pillow fort.

Tags: destiel, destiel fan art, destiel college AU, castiel, dean winchester, destiel fluff

SFW 

Dummies in love in the coffee shop

Summary: A fan art i made to thanks deliciousirony for their lovely fic. It's a realistic painting of dean and cas taking a coffee while both waiting for their blind date to arrive ;) Tags: destiel, destiel fan art, destiel college AU, dean winchester, castiel SFW

Accompanying fic by @delicious-irony

BlazeEBlake - @blazeeblake - BlazeEBlake

Winchester Circus & Its Fantastical Fallen Angel 

Summary: For nearly a decade Castiel has strayed further and further from home, doing his best to drive himself to distraction from what awaits upon his return. When a circus comes to town, he sees little more than another temporary means of escape. At least, until he lays eyes upon the troupe's handsome ringmaster. Dean Winchester has learned to trust little and expect even less from life as he struggles to keep his family's traveling circus afloat, so the sudden appearance of a wild eyed stranger looking for work has him both wary and certain of it being little more than a passing fancy. But as time passes and bonds are forged, Dean is forced to confront old wounds and new feelings for the enigmatic Castiel Novak.

Tags: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Alternate Universe - Circus, Post American Civil War, Trapeze Artist Castiel, Ringmaster Dean, Less than period typical homophobia, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending

SFW

waywarded - @wildsofourhearts - waywarded

Falling Awake

Summary: After Michael is killed by Team Free Will 2.0, Dean ends up in the Empty, Michael's grace pulling a sliver of his consciousness there. The Cosmic Entity calls him out on not realising Castiel is in love with him. Dean needs to decide what to do with that information as he wakes up home.

Tags: Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Protective Cas, Cas and Dean Being Idiots

SFW

Entwining Your Broken Parts With My Love

Summary: Castiel hates his broken wings and a fading spell has rendered them in their corporeal form. Dean wants to show how beautiful they are to him and to help Cas feel better about them, even if just for a while.

Tags: Gentle Dom Dean, sub Cas, but Cas usually Doms for Dean, Rope Bondage, Wings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Safe Sane and Consensual, BDSM

NSFW 

CRNoble - @hardertobreatheat-night - CRNoble

Skin Wars

Summary: Dean, a traditionally trained artist, is competing for $100,000 in the reality body painting TV show, Skin Wars. He’s lucky enough to get paired with a friend as his model, Cas, for a particularly personal challenge. Dean feels his painting isn’t up to snuff, but what will the judges think?

Tags: Angst, Angst with a happy ending, Skin Wars!AU

SFW

Lock Me Up

Summary: Dean and Cas have been together for a few years now, exploring their D/s relationship, mostly trying things that Cas suggests, until Dean finally finds something he really wants to try. Written for the SPN Kink Christmas Exchange

Tags: BDSM, Male Chastity, Rope Bondage, Spanking, Suspension, Bondage, blindfolds, toys, dirty talk, dirty pictures

NSFW

Caged Heat

Summary: Sam, Dean, and Cas team up with Meg to kill Crowley, but they get WAY more than they bargained for. Especially Dean, but how was he supposed to know one little kiss would make him feel this way?

Tags: Canon-typical violence, episode rewrite, angst, angst with a happy ending

SFW

LeafZelindor - @leafzelindor​

Holiday Card

Summary: Art drawn for the 2018 holiday mixtape!

Tags: fluff, destiel, family vibes

SFW

Merry Christmas Cas

Summary: Fluffy Dean gives Cas a Christmas Present Picture

Tags: Destiel,  Cutness

SFW

Snowy Kisses

Summary: Dean and Cas stealing Kisses in the Snow

Tags: Destiel, Fluff

SFW

profound-boning - @profound-boning - profound-boning

and being apart ain’t easy on this love affair

Summary: One shot ficlet featuring long distance boyfriends dean and cas being reunited!

Tags: no triggers, established long distance relationship, reunions

SFW

interstitial - interstitial

A Simple Plan

Summary: Cas and Dean have been driving Sam crazy for a decade with their pathetic mutual pining, so Sam's slightly manipulative sex party solution seems more than fair. Now it's just a matter of some shopping for supplies, and a bit of reverse psychology.

Tags: Crack, Brief Mention of Various Theoretical Future Sex Party-related Ships, Many of Them Crack, List Available In Notes For NoTPs

NSFW

Nera_Solani - @nera-solani - Nera-Solani

Embrace of Wings

Summary: When Dean and Cas get married after one year of domestic bliss, they do it both the human and the angel way. Just that the latter has an unexpected side effect... but that can't exactly be called bad.

Tags: Established Relationship, Angel Castiel, Marriage, Soul Bond, Winged Dean Winchester, Wing Grooming, Wing Kink, Angelic Grace Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff

SFW

Pride

Summary: Just a 100 word drabble for the prompt Carnival

Tags: Drabble, Profound100 Challenge, Prompt: Carnival, Pride Festival

SFW

Bright as a Candle

Summary: Just a 100 word drabble for the prompt Candle

Tags: Drabble, Profound100 Challenge, prompt: candle, candlelit dinner

SFW

Potlight

Summary: Just a 100 word drabble for the prompt Potlight, that was later expanded to a ficlet

Tags: Drabble, Profound100 Challenge, expanded afterwards, prompt: potlight, Soul Bond, Angelic Grace Bonds

SFW

MaggieMaybe160 - @maggiemaybe160 - MaggieMaybe160

True Loves Kiss

Summary: Dean finally tells Cas how he feels... after Cas made that deal.

Tags: Major Character Death, Season 14 Spoilers, Podfic Available

SFW

Lay Me Down To Sleep

Summary: With Castiel's deal with the Empty, how long do Dean and Cas really have left?

Tags: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence, Suicide, Season 14 Spoilers

SFW

The Final Moment

Summary: Dean and Cas are trapped by a monster. Based on a dream I had.

Tags: Major Character Death

SFW

Schoolyard Angel 

Summary: Castiel is the ring leader of Dean's biggest bullies, the angels. Dean gets to know Castiel blindly but can this newfound love prevail?

Tags: Highschool AU, Angst with Happy Ending

SFW

Cookietacular

Summary: “Did you take the decoder ring out of the box?” Jack asked. “Maybe,” Cas answered. It was a lie.

Tags: Season 14 Spoilers, FLUFF

SFW

Of Monsters and Angels 

Summary: Dean's back in Purgatory but something is wrong. He can't find his angel.

Tags: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence (typical for show), Eventual Happy Ending

SFW

I Love You, I Love All of You

Summary: Dean and Cas go on a routine hunt alone. Their feelings become clear.

Tags: Major Character Death, Heavy Angst

SFW

Dean // Only Human

Summary: Fan Video made by RavensCAT and MaggieMaybe160 Song- "Human" by Christina Perri 

SFW

Collaborator: @ravenscat-tumbler

EllenofOz - EllenofOz

Drunk Texts and Midnight Snacks 

Summary: Cas is just trying to get his paper finished, but a certain best friend of his keeps sending him texts from the campus bar. When Dean’s texts abruptly stop, Cas reluctantly goes to check on him.

Tags: Alternate Universe - college, friends to lovers, Castiel and Dean Winchester use their words, drunk Dean Winchester

NSFW

Four Hours

Summary: Castiel is cursed, after Rowena turned him into an attack dog and set him on her own son. Dean and Sam find him later in the bunker, but Dean notices something new that the curse has brought out in the angel— an irresistible amplification of his scent. It seems Castiel is now definitely an alpha, and being around Dean is dangerous. For Destiel Smut Bingo, prompt: “It’s been almost four hours and it won’t go down”

Tags: A/b/o dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon, season 11, Porn with Plot, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean

NSFW

cutelittlekitty

Life of a Couple ch7 - Take Me Home, Country Road part IV

Summary: wedding fluff and smut episodic chapter in my Heavenly Body series (the chapter can be read as a stand-alone story)

Tags: Destiel, AU-modern, wedding, fluff, sweetness, top!dean, bottom!cas, shower sex, cas is on the autism spectrum but it's mild, no major warnings other than tooth-rottingly sweet :D

NSFW

fangirlingtodeath513 - @fangirlingtodeath513 - fangirlingtodeath513

Sunshine

Summary: Cas comes clean and the Shadow tries to claim it's reward.

Tags: Post-episode: 14x08 Byzantium, no archive warnings apply

SFW

The Christmas Date

Summary: Christmas is one of Dean's favorite times of the year. It means spending some quality time with his family and enjoying their company, even though it's only for a few days. So when Cas mentions he's not going home for Christmas, the thought's barely crossed his mind before he's asking Cas to come with him to Kansas. Maybe there was an ulterior motive, like spending more time with the guy he's come to like a little more than just a roommate, but Cas doesn't need to know that. At least, if Dean's kind but meddlesome family can stay out of his business, that is.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, mentions of homophobic family, christmas fluff, platonic bed sharing

SFW 

Wake Up

Summary: Dean's trapped in his own mind, and it's up to Sam and Cas to get him out.

Tags: post-episode: 14x09 The Spear, no archive warnings apply, needle use, possessed dean winchester

SFW

Home

Summary: for the Supernatural One-Word Bingo  Prompt: cotton

Tags: no archive warnings apply, first kiss, sharing clothes, human castiel

SFW

A Thousand Years

Summary: Dean burns the dinner he'd been making for his date with Castiel, so he calls his mother for help.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, first dates, weddings, wedding fluff

SFW

turningthepages - turningthepages

Too Damn Young

Summary: Twenty years ago Castiel had been a version of himself he wishes he’d never lost. Looking out at the lake that he spent the best summer of his life he could still feel a glimmer of the man he used to be.

SFW

anyrei - anyrei

Snow Angel

Summary: Dean and Cas are out in a forest in winter, hunting a creature and Dean finally realizes that he needs Cas to know about his feelings.

Tags: First Time, Case, romantic scenery, snow, canon-verse, no warnings

NSFW

Fix You

Summary: Dean finally allows Cas to heal him. Set right after Episode: s11e04 Baby.

Tags: Season/Series 11, Episode: s11e04 Baby, Episode: s11e03 The Bad Seed, Smut, First Time

NSFW

Not Enough Brain Bleach

Summary: When Sam walks to the kitchen at night to get a snack he witness something unexpected.

Tags: Season/Series 11, Episode: s11e03 The Bad Seed, voyeuristic!Sam, but not really, Sam Needs Brain Bleach, PWP, Destiel from Sam's POV

NSFW

dean-cas-in-the-impala - @dean-cas-in-the-impala - Dean-Bangs-Cas-In-The-Impala

And Nothing Else Matters 

Summary: Castiel always pays his debts.

Tags: Angst, Romance, 14X08, Based on 14X08

SFW

kradarua - kradarua

Something Dark

Summary: Castiel looked even wilder in person. Dean let his eyes roam over his (now fully clothed) form, smiling appreciatively. He inhaled deeply, curious to find no real trace of a scent. “He’s on scent blockers,” the employee explained. "Running this auction is involved enough without having to settle claim disputes if an omega’s scent triggers some alpha’s rut.” That suited him fine; both he and Sam were on scent blockers most of the time and he’d planned on requiring that Castiel stay on them too. It helped with anonymity. “Thank you,” he said, “That will be all.” The employee gave a small bow and left to service the other high bidders. “Well, Cas,” Dean said cheerily, “Let’s go home.”

Tags: graphic depictions of violence, abo, rough sex, criminal activity, dark fic, torture

NSFW

canadduh - @canadduh - canadduh

Memories Made

Summary: Castiel Remembers. Just as he's done every year.

Tags: Major character death - Freeform, Sick Character, Sick Dean, Cas POV, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff

SFW

The Unexpected Holiday

Summary: After a hunt gone wrong, Dean and Cas enjoy an unexpected holiday.

Tags: holiday fluff, Post-Case-Fic, injured cas, Dorks in Love, Original Character(s), Cabin Fic, Cabins, Christmas, Injured Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Cas is in the closet (Literally), holiday fic, canon-verse

SFW

tfw_cas - @punk-is-notdead - tfw_cas 

Dean’s Christmas Cookies

Summary: Dean Winchester presents his Christmas cookie recipe, with a little help - or is it hindrance - from Castiel.

Tags: Baking; Christmas fluff; Established Castiel/Dean Winchester; Human Castiel

SFW

Snowballs Hurt, But Snow Angels Can Make It All Better 

Summary: All Dean Winchester wants is a traditional family Christmas; that's not too much to ask, is it? But when things don't work out how he had hoped, he can count on his family, and some snow, to lift his spirits. Maybe Christmas won't be too bad after all.

Tags: Snow; Snowball Fight; Snowmen; All The Snow; Christmas Fluff; Fluff; Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss; Snow Angels

SFW

[usastatefair]

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60+ Inspirational Christmas Messages & Christmas Wishes For Friends

If you are finding greeting messages for Christmas, here are latest wishes for Christmas. You will definitely find some Christmas greetings for your love ones, your friends and family.

#1 A season for giving and sharing is what Christmas is all about. You shared your life to me all throughout the year. I thank you for that. Merry Christmas!

#2 You made Christmas merrier because you are my friend. I have always enjoyed the gift of friendship you gave me. Merry Christmas to you!

#3 You are a present to me. I do not wish for anything more! Merry Christmas to you!

#4 Merry Christmas to the person who knows all of my secrets, knows the things that make me happy or sad. I love you my friend!

#5 It is a time for celebration and gatherings. I wish that you may spend your time meaningfully with the people close to your heart. Have a wonderful and merry Christmas!

#6 You are a proof of how good God is. You have saved me from loneliness just like how Jesus saved us. Have a very Merry Christmas

#7 On this day I want to wish you more success so that you will continue to be a blessing not just to me but also to others. Merry Christmas!

#8 Many years ago, I wished that Santa will give me a true friend. Then, I met you and we became best friends. Thank you for the friendship.

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Christmas Greetings for Friends:

#1 What have you wished for this Christmas? As for me, I wished our friendship to last forever! Merry Christmas!

#2 I love you as my friend. I wish that for this season, may you be the same person that you are. May you be blessed with more people that will appreciate the real friend in you!

#3 Looking at the stars, I pray that my friends and I will stay happily together from this day onwards. Merry Christmas to you all!

#4 Friendship cannot be bought by money. I am lucky that I am rich with friends like you. This makes celebrating Christmas more meaningful!

#5 Christmas carols everywhere, gift-giving here and there. Christmas is a merry-making season that will be a lot special If spent with a friend like you!

Christmas Wishes for Friends:

It’s time for Christmas celebrations. With colorful Christmas Decorations and lights, houses are beautifully decorated. The best thing is Christmas tree in the center of house.

#1 May all the magic of Christmas Fill your heart With happiness and joy. Merry Christmas to you

#2 May this Christmas show you the way For a New year that is bright and fresh Here’s wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

#3 May this Christmas holidays give you Wonderful time and Happiness to become a the golden memories for tomorrow. Wishing you lots of joy, love and happiness Merry Christmas!!

#4 May this Christmas Sparkles with love, happiness and celebration, to pave the way for a happy new year Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

#5 Heartfelt holiday wishes for a wonderful Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

#6 Wishing you happiness, peace and Joy For this Christmas and for next year Wishing you peace, happiness and Joy For this Christmas and always.

Christmas Text Messages for Friends:

#1 I wish you more happiness and good health this Christmas. Have a very merry Christmas!

#2 May you find the one that you will share this holiday with under the mistletoe. Merry Christmas, my friend!

#3 I hope the birth of our savior Jesus Christ will give you renewed hope and will to live His life. A peaceful Merry Christmas to you and your family.

#4 God has given us a new blessing this day. He has given us His only son to save us from damnation. I hope the Lord Jesus Christ may live in your heart as we celebrate His birth. Merry Christmas everyone! Have a happy holiday!

#5 Thank you for being one of the people who made this world a wonderful place to live in. I pray that you’ll be blessed with good health, security, success, peace and joy. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Christmas Quotes Wishes for Friends:

#1 Christmas is on the way, so smile, being happy and gay. Brighten up your day and influence everybody to do the same. Merry Christmas!!

#2 Love is a miracle. It come from the heart, express by the thoughts and shared through actions. This Christmas season, let us all share LOVE to every person we meet and make this world a better place. Merry Christmas!

#3 Wherever you are and whatever you do, if we are talking about Christmas, There is no such place better than HOME. Merry Christmas everyone!

#4 In this busy world we are living, just for once, let us slow down and feel the magic of Christmas. Let us find our way home where we can find and share what Christmas is about. Have a fun-filled Christmas Season!

#5 Christmas is the season that “no man in this world is alone”. Let us take time to share love to the people who needs it. Let us make them happy and make them experience what life is about if the spirit of Christmas conquer us all.

Christmas Card Messages for Your Friend:

#1 This Christmas season, I just want to let you know that we may not be lovers but I love you as much as a lover could do. That’s why I pray to baby Jesus to keep you healthy so that I can still keep you for the rest of eternity. Merry Christmas to you my dear friend.

#2 We may not be blood related but you are always there to share my pain and care for me like we are family. So this holiday season, I offer you wishes of love joy and happiness. May baby Jesus shower you with blessings this Christmas season.

#3 I don’t need your presents; all I need is the presence of my dear friend. May we see each other again to celebrate this Christmas season together. Have a great Christmas!

#4 Before it’s too late, I just want to extend my love to the most valuable friend I ever had. May the peace and blessings of Christmas be yours. Merry Christmas my friend!

#5 You are the best gift I’ve ever had this Christmas. Thank you for being such a very good friend. Merry Christmas!

More Christmas Wishes Messages for Friends:

#1 This Christmas season, Baby Jesus will knock in your hearts to bring you peace, joy and love. May you accept Him in your lives and may you live with His gifts throughout the year. Merry Christmas!

#2 God loves us. He even sent His only son to save us all. In this yuletide season, let us all unite in a prayer to offer Him our thanks and praise. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

#3 Don’t count the things that you don’t have. Instead, be grateful of what you have and share it if possible. That is the true essence of Christmas. May you live with it, not just this Christmas season but for the rest of your life.

#4 This holiday season, I wish you all the best gifts of life. The gift of friend, the gift of hope, the gift of love. Have a merry Christmas!

#5 Of all the people I’ve met, you truly stand out. You’re such an extraordinary friend. I am so thankful to meet you in this lifetime. Happy Holidays!

More Christmas Messages:

There is no event which is complete without friends. It is the friend who is with us all the time either the time of grief or the time of sorrow and even happiness. So why don’t we celebrate this Christmas with our friends and send them beautiful Christmas greetings messages.

Christmas messages for friends:

#1 May this Christmas bring lot more strength to our bond of friendship and Santa fulfills all your desires.

#2 Lets share Christmas candies and goodies together just like we share every moment of life together. Wishing you a Merry Christmas dear friend.

#3 Few Christmas ago, I demanded a sweet little friend from Santa and I got you. Thanks for being there with me at good or bad times. Merry Christmas.

#4 May this Christmas prove to be merrier than the last one. Wishing you a Merry Christmas.

#5 Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way, how much you mean to me I need not say. Merry christmas friend!

#6 Christmas brings joy of celebrating together and merrymaking so here’s wishing my sweet friend a Merry Merry Christmas.

#7 May this Christmas bring health peace and prosperity along. Merry Christmas.

#8 There couldn’t be a better day than Christmas day to celebrate with my friend. Happy Christmas.

#9 May the Christmas tree comes bearing with it joy bells and laughter candies. Merry Christmas.

#10 The best present you can give me on this Christmas will be your presence. Lets celebrate Christmas together.

#11 May peace and happiness be yours in this Christmas and coming year be filled with health and prosperity.

#12 I hope you celebrate the best Christmas of the life and essence be with you forever.

Merry Christmas messages for friends:

#1 Wishing you and your loved ones health peace and prosperity on this Christmas. Merry X-Mas.

#2 The best gift out of the gifts from under the Christmas tree can be the gift of your friendship. Merry X-Mas.

#3 I hope we have many jolly moments this Christmas that we talk about it in the coming years. Happy Christmas!

#4 May the good times and treasures of present become the memories of future. Merry Christmas.

#5 May the warmth of Christmas bring love in your life. Enjoy and Merry Christmas.

#6 Special thanks to a friend who has been the support throughout my life and acted as a guide all along. Merry Christmas Dear friend.

#7 I hope Santa fulfills all your wishes and bless you with health, peace and prosperity. Happy Xmas dear friends.

#8 A friend like you in life makes us feel like Christmas all year round. Merry Christmas and a very happy new year.

Christmas card messages for friends:

#1 Christmas is the time to remember the past and hope good for the future. Hope your future is full of success and wealth. Merry Christmas.

#2 Sending you messages of faith and hope this season of holidays. Merry Christmas and a very happy new year.

#3 The eve of Christmas is held in our hearts and moments are shared with friends and family. To the one friend who is more of a family to me. A Merry Christmas to you!

#4 Christmas brings along love and warmth in the house. May you be fulfilled with the best of both! Merry Christmas.

#5 May the Christmas bells fill your life with sweet music of happiness, prosperity and love. Merry Christmas.

#6 On this Christmas, I would like to take this opportunity as a thank you to the one person who has been there with me throughout every phase of life. Christmas and New year wishes for you!

#7 It wouldn’t be a Christmas if we don’t send greetings to our near and dear ones, who mean so much to us. A merry Christmas to my dear friend.

#8 Christmas celebrations with friends are priceless. To all such priceless and precious friends of mine, a merry Christmas and a very happy coming new year.

#9 The Christmas tree has so many presents and candies and goodies on it but the best present in my life is the one with whom we decorate this Christmas tree i.e. You my friend. Wishing you a merry Christmas and a very happy new year.

#10 May this festive season come bearing with it fruits of joy, happiness, laughter and prosperity.

Hope these greetings will be helpful to you and you enjoyed reading these merry Christmas wishes for friends. So what are you waiting for? Just send these wishes to your love ones and wish them Merry Christmas.