#merlin acts like he doesn't care and isn't capable of genuine love but we know that's a lie

[bottleblondefeelingconned]

I left this as a reply but I'm also making a separate post to expand because have Feelings, and I really just love fanart of Merlin holding Artoria's corpse.

Because it's not just about a vassal holding their king, or a wizard their charge, or anything about kings and knighthood and ideals.

The bottom line is that this is a father cradling his daughter's corpse.

A daughter who willingly went to the slaughterhouse. A lamb willingly tearing away her flesh for the nation to feast on. A daughter he both could've saved but also never could because the tragedy is Merlin's Merlin and Artoria's Artoria. Because anything else could have changed the story, but this is the only way the story ever could have gone.

And now she's dead, and he has to live with that.

Merlin always knew that this girl would sacrifice herself to be an Ideal, to be a King, because saber is a Saber and that's just what they do. But can you imagine cuddling your little girl at night knowing what awaits her? Teaching her to swing a sword knowing she'll use those skills to slay her own child?

How many times did Merlin see Artoria nap under a tree and just felt Dread? When she first met Bedivere was Merlin secretly desperate for them to go their seperate ways? Did Merlin take Lancelot to taverns hoping he'd meet another beauty to catch his eyes, trying to prevent something that could never be prevented? When he met Mordred, did he ever think of his as a grandchild?

In Apocrypha when Mordred saw his father grab that sword, Merlin covered his face. When Artoria took that sword from the stone to chase her ideals, when Artoria stopped being Artoria and became King Arthur, what expression did Merlin have then?

A wizard preserves their King for the future return from Avalon. A father is hunched over his daughter's bloody corpse weeping.

"Let me tell you of the tale of the King," the ancient wizard says. It sounds better then "my child died."

I guess both Artoria and Merlin know what it's like to be complicit in the death of their child.