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merakisss · 11 days ago

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Feel my love // knj.

Relief.

That’s what simi feels as she lays in namjoon’s arms. Safe and protected. They had just completed a parts work therapy session and were now relaxing.

Simi sighs, as she allows namjoon to wrap his arms around her tighter. “is being held this tight comfortable? ” namjoon asks as his arms squeeze simi as they lay on their couch. The blanket loosely draped around their feet.

“yes.” simi closes her eyes, leans her head against namjoon’s chest. “five more minutes, ” simi says, and then allows herself to feel how protected she feels, how loved she feels, enjoying the new found bliss that the present moment offers.

Simi pulls away from namjoon after a while. Namjoon lets his hand rest on simi’s side loosely. “I didn’t know that you didn’t feel my love even though I loved you so much. ” namjoon says staring at the wall of their living room.

“I’m sorry, until today, i didn’t know that I was stuck in my childhood where I didn’t get love, and kept repeating the same pattern of feeling unloved, even though love that i was so desperate and thirsty for was right in front of me. ” simi says, relaxing her body.

“I’m sorry that I could not see and feel that you loved me. ” simi apologized to which namjoon squeezes her hand. “you have nothing to be sorry for, love. You did not deserve what happened to you, but that doesn’t mean that you are suddenly an unlovable human. ” namjoon says softly caressing her arms. “I’m still sorry. Sorry for causing you pain that you didn’t even deserve. ” simi eyes fill with tears. She cries softly. “Please allow me to cry today, joon.” simi says and lets her tears fall. She doesn’t wipe them or stop herself from crying. “I so grateful that I have the best boyfriend in the whole damn world. ” simi says chuckling, while her tears fall on her hands and dress. “I’m just glad that you allowed yourself to heal and let me help you in the process. ”

Simi kisses namjoon’s palms, softly biting his fingers. Namjoon always knows. So he lets her kiss, bite and show her affection to him however she wants.

“I love you, simi. So so much. ” He kisses the back of her forehead, and pats her head softly a few times just the way she loves.

“Thank you namjoon for loving me. I’ll allow myself and you to love me from now on. No resistance whatsoever. Thankyou for healing me. ” she cuddled closer to him, and kisses his hand once again.

Thankyou for reading. Wish you a happy day/ night.

#kim namjoon fluff #namjoon fluff #bts namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #merakisss

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merakisss · 1 month ago

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Holding on & letting go | kth.

Happiness.

That’s how you should be feeling when you’re best friend is getting married to the love of her life.

Then, what is this prickly feeling crawling up your body that threatens to make you cry in the middle of their wedding ceremony.

You had always known that they would end up together, then why were you still holding onto something that was clearly toxic to you ?

“come on, saanvi, join us!”Sakshi, the other bridesmaids calls you to take pictures with the bride. She looks absolutely stunning in her red bridal saree, embroidered with flowers, and different patterns. Hands decorated in mehendi, rings, and bangles. Makeup that looks so good on her, legs are decorated with soft anklets that make sweet sounds whenever she moves.

The most painful ting about all of this is that she is not the evil type of person who’d make one hate them. She is kind, gentle, heartwarming, helpful, friendly, makes everyone happy, she’s loved by anyone who hears about her or meets her. She is the person people want to surround themselves with. She hasn’t done one thing to make you hate her, she is not capable of that.

And still you are here holding onto to those last feelings which are no longer valid. It is time to move on from all the negativity you held inside you. Maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe there’s someone else out there for you.

Hurting someone else so that you can find some peace was never your way of life. You’d rather be hurt than think about hurting someone else. You weren’t going to ruin your best friend’d wedding.

You hadn’t seen taehyung in so long. But he looks so good in his matching red sherwani, his beautiful boxy smile showing itself, playfully laughing along with your best friend. They look so happy.

Taehyung is a ray of sunshine, he can make anyone happy with his presence, he was intimidating at first, but if you got to know him, he’s a warm person. He always managed to lift people up when they were sad and needed someone to push them to do better.

That was how you two had met, he had noticed your tears, and asked you about your situation, you both had spent the whole night talking to each other. That night had meant so much to you, you wanted to confess to him, but all of that went in vain, when he had already confessed his feelings for your best friend. It had broken your heart, but you had kept all of it bottled up inside you for fear of ruining the friendship you shared with both of them.

At least, you could be around him as friends. But the pain had only kept increasing day by day, as you saw them holding hands, kissing on the cheeks, forehead, secretly going out without planning anything, going to the movies, and sneaking out in the middle of it. You had known everything but you didn’t say anything. Her parents didn’t approve of their relationship, and you were so tempted to ruin it all for her.

But you were not that kind of a person, and you would give your self respect and pride away if you did that. So, you made efforts to convince her parents and at last when they saw what taehyung’s presence added to their daughter’s life, they agreed. Ignoring your own pain was painful, but you couldn’t ruin something you had done so much for. So you stood on the sidelines while they kissed in front of their parents as their relationship became strong.

You had to get out of this wedding, or else you’d cry yourself a river. You called out to one of the bridesmaids, and told her that you’d be leaving due to an emergency. “Ok, take care saanvi. Call me if you need anything.” she held your hands, before letting you go.

This is how it ends. It was time to release all of that pain inside you and start a new chapter where you were not holding onto the past and welcoming a better future.