#mentor talked about a previous student of his with a similar amount of shitty incidents in his life
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#gets good grades to the point of weirding out teachers but cannot cope with daily life#literally sorry but imagine what i could've done if i hadnt been traumatised for life since like birth.#literally not to be that person but this is eating me alive#mentor talked about a previous student of his with a similar amount of shitty incidents in his life#and how he'd asked said student whether they felt 'struck by fate/doom' and i was like yea that's exactly how it feels#get born to shit parents who have a shit divorce and 1 is certifiably insane#the other moves his horrible gf in who proceeds to abuse you until you develop worse dissociative symptoms#and then ur dad has to kick u out bc he is also out of options#so u go live w ur certified insane mother who apparently pulled a knife on ur dad!!!#and who pulls hair out of your head and lies to the police#u end up in a clinic where someone tells your dad 4 the 1st time he cant just threaten you#you end up in a grouphome where no one has time and your crying is ignored and turns into wailing and screaming#because youre 16 years old and have never learnt to regulate ur own emotions + fear someone will come in and kick your ass into silence#ur 20 and end up in a different place with a front door that locks and staff that respects your humanity#and you just. gotta try to pick whats left of ur life back up#the pain + exhaustion + emptiness vs good people and good grades and the idea of a good future#but one you can never rly get because you don't have the capacity anymore
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