#mentioned qui-gon jinn

[phoenixyfriend]

ONLY ONE IS CANON. PLEASE READ THE QUESTION.

* For the purposes of this poll, both Legends and Disney qualify as canon.

** Eminent domain

Don't give away the answer before the poll ends! I'll reblog with an explanation once it's done.

"Why the big red--" I've already had five people vote in the wrong direction.

[jedi-starbird]

fellas. fellas. listen. qui-gon does express affection towards obi-wan, he just does it in the divorced dad way.

that's his love language, despite never having been married, divorced or had a kid.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Time Given and Taken

This one is another time travel fix-it, also somewhat AU even beyond the time travel.  Our time travelers are Obi Wan Kenobi and Commander Cody, both from after their own deaths.  Let’s even put it after the Empire falls. 

They have reunited and through Force Shenanigans are sent back to five years before the Clone wars start (dealers choice if they chose to go back or just found themselves back in time), they land specifically on Ord Mantel, their bodies have been reformed at peak age and physical fitness (Late 20’s), there is not chip in Cody’s head and his aging has been slowed to match Obi Wan’s force assisted aging (Look if the Force has to build their bodies anyway it might as well get the best results possible); but we’ll get back to them in a moment. 

Now The Force did have to make some preparations for them, as it could not have two versions of the same soul existing in this universe at the same time.  Thus, in this universe,during the Naboo crisis Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi died in place of his Master Qui Gon Jinn. Jinn was still struck by Maul and Obi Wan did still bisect the Sith, but then the Padawan used a nearly unknown healing technique to heal Qui Gon at the expense of his own life.  Padawan Obi Wan’s last words to his master were ‘You said the boy needed to be trained, now you can’. He was mourned by everyone who knew him. 

That same year Unit CC-2224 was decanted stillborn, which happened at about the same rate of stillborns/miscarriages in natborn births. The Kaminoans did the typical cursory exam to make sure there was not a larger issue, and found that there had been a small difference in the nutrients in CC-2224’s growth pod that resulted in the stillbirth. No one knew to mourn the being he would have been at all. 

Having Qui Gon Jinn as a master did not actually make things better, or easier, for Anakin; though it also could be argued that it did not make things significantly worse either. It was different though. Though Qui Gon had more experience than Obi Wan would have in the original timeline, there were other issues now at play.  And Anakin was growing up in the blinding light of the memory of Obi Wan Kenobi, the perfect Jedi padawan who killed a Sith then died to save someone.  He was also growing up in the shadow of Xanatos, the talented, powerful former padawan that Fell and died a decade ago.  This is offset, just a bit, by Feemor coming back, telling Qui Gon that he could kriff off with his repudiation and installed himself as Anakin’s Padawan brother (“like I should have with little Obi Wan”). It is made worse by Anakin overhearing the wrong parts of a few conversations that heavily implied Obi Wan died because he felt he had little left to live for (Because Obi Wan was being replaced by Anakin)

It is likely that, left alone, growing up with the ghost (in tha he haunted the narrative, not that he was actually there) of Obi Wan would have made Anakin resentful of his dead padawan brother.  However Palpatine, who he still had frequent private meetings with (look no one was suspicious of this happening the first time around, Qui Gon would likely not have felt it was suspicious either), never met any potential resentment that he could not turn to his advantage.  Instead of letting resentment grow for Obi Wan, Palpatine instead leaned into this saintly memory of a young man Anakin only spent a little time with (a lot of, ‘I’m sure young Obi Wan would not have treated you like that’), something similar to what he supposedly did with Qui Gon in canon.  Basically polishing the image of Obi Wan Kenobi in Anakin’s head until the dead Padawan could do no wrong. Palpatine could have eventually used the memory of Obi Wan to further separate Anakin from the Jedi (“The Jedi let Obi Wan Die/Got Obi Wan Killed because he was the last good Jedi” kind of rhetoric).  

Had the dead man stayed dead. 

With that established we step back to 5 years before the Clone wars were due to break out, Ord Mantel, where Cody and Obi Wan find themselves appearing, young bodies, old minds, and a small amount of the local currency (not enough to destabilize the economy, but enough to start gambling with). They quickly, and quietly, win enough money to buy a small cruiser (taking care to keep their individual ins small enough not to catch the attention of anyone), just big enough for the two of them. 

Then they make their way to Kamino.

They very deliberately decide not to go to the Jedi just yet. There are a number of reasons.  Some are trauma based (the last time Obi Wan was Coruscant he was walking through the ruins of the temple and finding the bodies of children; the last time Cody was on Coruscant he was deserting the empire after Desix). Some are for practicality(Coruscant is Palapatines domain already; They do not realize that their alternate selves are dead here and do not want to run into Knight Obi Wan).  But the main reason comes from the fact that Order 66 caused two genocides, Jedi and Clone. They both reasoned that, while focusing on preventing the Jedi genocide (Going to the Jedi, killing Palpatine) would not necessarily prevent the Clones from being abused, used, and trapped by the chips, Freeing the Clones would, by the very nature of what happened, prevent the Jedi from being killed. 

So they go to Kamino. Talk their way into Tipoca City and to speak with Jango Fett.  First they help Jango remove his head from his ass and realize exactly what he did (effectively selling his genetic children into slavery to destroy a culture for revenge he was clinging to in order to keep from facing his culpability in what happened-Not only were the Jedi lied to at Galidraan, Jango shot first; he escalated things and it backfired on him). It took a few days (and included bringing Jango and Boba down to one of the creche rooms holding the clones the same physical age as Boba, putting Boba in clone uniform and asking Jango to try and pick him from the crowd. Jango promptly had a panic attack when he was face to face with 200ish Boba’s and unable to look away from the reality of what he was doing).

SIDE NOTE: Has anyone else noticed the parallel between Jango Fett and Maul. Both were obsessed with getting revenge for situations where they suffered from being in the instigator and losing. Essentially they fucked around, found out, and decided to get revenge, and it cost them everything they had left.  

Once Cody and Obi Wan actually got through to Jango, they told him everything. Being from the future, what Project Knightfall actually did, Cody talking about what it was like under the control of the chips, of never realizing why he betrayed his Jedi general or was willing to hunt down Force users, of waking up after the chip was removed and realizing exactly what he had done, Of the brothers he had lost to suicide, due to the horror of what had happened. They talked about the Empire and what it did to Mandalore. 

The three of them decided what to do next.  

Jango, looking at himself realistically for the first time in a decade, realizes quickly that he should not take the mantle of Mand’alor again. He was too young the first time, but had been growing into the role. Had Galidraan not happened, he likely would have been a good leader, but it did and the years of slavery (with its exposure to Spice) plus the trauma from Galidraan made their mark. Jango would, however, throw his support behind Cody as Mand’alor (Cody made sure it was clear that Jango would also be throwing in his support behind Obi Wan as Cody’s Jedi husband, alternately Cody and Obi Wan would share the Mand’alor title. Jango was fine with that).  

It is also decided, after much debate, that they would also inform the Kaminoans of the fate of their species in the original timeline (destroyed as soon as they could be) and get their cooperation.  There had been consideration for simply taking Kamino, or Tipoca city, but it was decided that it was simply more work than it was worth.  It took two months (during which Obi Wan and Cody functioned as additional trainers for the Cadets) before they were ready to present the truth to Lama Su. Thankfully they had enough working knowledge of things they should not, and were able to get enough proof of what they had to say, that they were able to convince Lama Su that aligning with the Sith would doom the Kaminoans; an if there was one thing the Kaminoan valued more than profit, it was their own survival. 

The Clone project, overall, was at a point where communication between the project and the Sith was infrequent at best (so that attention was not drawn to a seemingly empty patch of space too early), so Tyranus did not have cause to notice that Kamino started ghosting him (It should be noted that they also kept cashing his checks, ostensibly so that he would not notice anything wrong). 

With the Kaminoans on their side now, Cody, Obi Wan, and Jango got to work.  There were a few trainers that did need to be killed outright (Priest and Reau, whom Cody got to kill during one of the cage fights they were arranging-which forever endeared him to the Clone cadets, especially the batch he would have belong to in another life, who were around 10 years old developmentally,  who found themselves drawn to Cody, the trainer that looked so much like Jango Fett that he could have been a clone himself), and a few that asked to be paid so they could leave (and were paid extras so that Obi Wan could remove the details of what as going on from their mind, for safety reasons), but most were willing to follow Cody and Obi Wan as soon as it was clear that Jango has sworn himself to them (non sexually and non romantically, Jango is very AroAce, and very Sex/Romance repulsed). 

The next step is starting to remove the already embedded chips, which went quickly with the help of the Kaminoans, and partially demilitarizing the education of the cadets.  While they would be Mandalorians (as a warrior culture there is a certain level of military in their education) the cadets training would no longer be solely focused on being soldiers and nothing else.  The Kaminoans also keep cloning (Technically the original order was for 1 million clones for the Jedi, they may be taking Tyranus’s money and ghosting him, but they would fulfill their contract-It was decided by the Kaminoan Council that Obi Wan qualified as ‘Jedi’ for the purposes of the contract, so giving him the clones is really fulfilling their written contract)

Cody and Obi Wan, with the council from the remaining trainers and Jango, decided that they would spend the years between their arrival and one year before the Clone Wars was due to start on Kamino, still largely out of contact with the wider galaxy. In that time they develop their own culture (their own version of ‘how to be mandalorian’ built in part from the remaining True Mandalorians, the clone culture Cody brought from the previous timeline mixing with the ever evolving clone culture of the current timeline-which quickly became different from how Cody remembered it, Part of the Jedi traditions that Obi Wan brought with him from the previous timeline-some of which he may or may not remember correctly due to trauma and the length of time he spent repressing those memories). They also worked over talking points on how to unite their faction with the New Mandalorians, including going over what traditions/parts of their culture they would be willing to relinquish as a compromise and what parts they absolutely will not.  On Jango’s occasional trips out into the wider galaxy, to take jobs, he makes a point to get as close to Keldabe as he can to get a feel for the New Mandalorian as a faction (Obi Wan has inside knowledge, but it may be early or outdated is all kinda colored with ‘Satine died in my arms and it was my fault’). There was also a concerted effort to discreetly acquire enough ships for everyone. 

So we are one year before the Clone Wars were due to erupt. Palpatine is on Coruscant waiting for the perfect opportunity to enact his plan, believing that he had a handy clone army at the ready for the war he has been fanning. Tyranus, who has still not realized he has not spoken to Kamino in about 4 years, is quietly building his forces with the droid armies about 4 months from being completed. 

The Newer True Mandalorians (The name suggestion was from Rex’s-He still picked the same name and was adopted by Codywan along with Fox and Ponds, batch; the name is being workshopped) leave Kamino for Concord Dawn. They take with them a treaty between them and the Kaminoans that includes mutual protection, a live and let live clause, a few NDA’s about the Kamnoan’s gene manipulation process,  and a decent trade agreement where the Kaminoans provide genetic research and the clones provide free advertising for the success of the Kaminoans cloning process. 

Basically out of nowhere, as far as the galaxy is concerned, the True Mandalorians reemerge after being all but wiped out almost 20 years prior, and in far greater numbers than they had before. Numbers that sharply spike, as outcasts from the New Mandalorians and Death Watch, plus other remnants of the True Mandalorians flock to their banner. These are great enough numbers that when they reach out to discuss a treaty, and a possible merger for factions, with the New Mandalorians, the New Mandalorians actually take it seriously.   

This faction, the entire galaxy is surprised to learn, is being led by someone who looks an awful lot like Jango Fett, but is clearly not since Jango Fett is standing next to him (by this point Cody and Jango call ach brother, further confusing the issue) and a red haired man going by the name of Obi Wan Kenobi, who clearly is, or was, a Jedi. 

Tyranus and Sidious, realizing that Jango Fett showing up anywhere with a massive amount of being might be contrary to their plans, try to contact Kamino. Kamino doesn’t answer and their ‘we’re busy, don’t call us we’ll call you’ message included a virus that made it so they cannot find or contact Kamino again.

The heads of the New Mandalorian Government arrange to meet with the heads of the Newer True Mandalorians, including Cody and Obi Wan. Satine recognizes Obi Wan. It is at this point that they find out this timeline’s Obi Wan has been dead for almost a decade. They had known that this timeline’s Cody was never born, but had never thought to check on Obi Wan. 

The negotiations between the New Mandalorans and the Newer True Mandalorians lasts months, but eventually is hammered out between them, along with a new government structure. Cody and Obi Wan would jointly preside over a council made up equally of New Mandalorians and Newer True Mandalorian (and, should Death Watch want to actually come in from the cold, Death Watch representative, but the faction would have to swear to the agreed upon laws and to follow the joint Mand’alor’s- Satine insisted). While Obi Wan and Cody would have the final say in most cases, if at least 90% of the council agreed they were wrong there was a veto power that could be used. Membership on the council is decided by the faction in question, and if a new faction splits off and gets to a certain size (Generally enough people to populate a medium sized planet) that faction will also be able to put representatives on the council. 

Meanwhile in the Republic the reappearance of the True Mandalorians (it doesn’t matter that they have a new name as far the Republic is concerned) has derailed 90% of Palpatine's plans (he does not have time to grow another army, even if he could get in contact with Kamino again and he cannot start the war without an army).  The news that the Red Headed leader of the reemerged faction appeared to be Presumed Dead Obi Wan Kenobi, famed in song and story and all but sainted in Anakin Skywalker's head, derailed 90% of the rest. 

Padawan Anakin Skywalker, upon hearing that Obi Wan Kenobi might be alive, vanished from Coruscant. Just took off for Concord Dawn to potentially rescue his hero, or avenge him if it was someone else pretending to be him. Or something like that, Anakin was not thinking at all beyond that he needed to see Obi Wan, the man he knew for maybe a week when he was nine.  He also left prematurely, had he waited six more hours he and his master Qui Gon Jinn would have been assigned to investigate the identity of the presumed Obi Wan. 

Qui Gon did not know where Anakin was headed until he reached Concord Dawn (Anakin left a note that he was going radio silent to work on some course work he was behind in, so Qui Gon left him off the mission-This Qui Gon is just a little oblivious)  and was promptly led to a holding cell by some of the Mandos (I kind of want it to be Waxer and Boil, or one of the Alpha’s) who gestured at Anakin inside, glowering like a bristly wet cat, going ‘is this yours?’

I Imagine this ‘reunion’  is weird and awkward from every angle. Like this Obi Wan remembers holding Qui Gon as he died, raising Anakin, Anakin’s Fall, everything of the original timeline. But this Qui Gon held his Padawan as he died (which hold the residual guilt of surviving, plus the guilt of Obi Wan dying to save his life), has added the normal rosy shine to his memories of his padawan (gloss over the bad times to focus on the good times). This Anakin has few actual memories of Obi Wan, but a massive case of hero worship. possibly to the point of Obi Wan being akin to a deity to Anakin, so massively unhealthy(Which Qui Gon also realizes for the first time)  but in a way that is difficult to break. Palaptine inadvertently created the Cult of Obi Wan, with one cult member and brainwashed him so well that he fucked up his own plans.  Now that there is a living Obi Wan, it is everyone's problem. Cody is prickly with both of them, because he remembers the things Obi Wan, his husband, told him about his Padawanship AND remembers both Reckless General Skywalker and Darth Vader. 

I am not sure how much they actually tell the Jedi, but they definitely tell them that Obi Wan and Coy are from a different timeline, and no they can’t go back. Just so that they do not start thinking that Padawan Obi Wan somehow faked his death (they are just a little concerned how Anakin would react).

Eventually Cody gets to kill Palpatine, as a treat.

[tarabyte3]

Do you see my vision?! Because I don't know what this is, but it sure does intrigue me.

But for real: they're both large, gentle, older men with low smooth voices, long hair they wear in the same style, a sarcastic sense of humor, and they both have an affinity for life and plants (druid vs the Living Force). Neither enjoys leading and they just want to fuck off and go where nature/the force takes them. They're both guardians. We associate both of them with tea. They both meditate! Qui-Gon's lightsaber is green!! The wrinkles!!! Please tell me you see it??!?!! Anyone??

...even their discourse is similar 😇😈😘

[a-wisebear]

yes, i love the disaster lineage, a dyslexic cryptic frog, the most knighty-sith, very high and very high man still claiming children, the embodiment of the light side as infinite sadness, problem child actually is the chosen one, golden child at war, and we close it with unsupervised child with paint it's too good at it

[ceruleanvermillion]

Jedi culture is so fascinating... I'd love a post-war everything is okay AU where we get a taste of Jedi culture. Not the clone wars-era jedi culture that we know of...but actual jedi culture. Like the one obi-wan grew up with, something ahsoka and even anakin never got to experience because of the war. Like the ones we see in the books about obi-wans padawan years, of course, combining canon and legends in a way that makes sense- maybe we can have the younger ones of the disaster lineage learn a bit about Tahl, more Tahl is always a good idea. Maybe we can delve into Mace and Qui-gon's years of padawanship and being initiates- or maybe even old jedi culture, the one Yoda is familiar with.

[jewishcissiekj]

no but actually I love messing with the disaster lineage. like. yeah, what if Dooku was Obi-Wan's master? What if Qui-Gon was Anakin's master? what if Obi-Wan did end up being Ahsoka's master? let's add on to it. Dooku as Asajj's Master. Asajj as Ahsoka's master. Rael as Obi-Wan's master. Anakin as Rael's padawan. Ky Narec as Dooku's padawan. Sabine as Anakin's padawan. Luke as Qui-Gon's padawan. Yoda as Obi-Wan's master. Ahsoka as Yoda's padawan. feel free to keep adding on to it the possibilities are almost endless

[bochedogmeat]

Ok tumblr today I am going to ramble about something. It was discussed in the obikin discord i thinkkk probably about a year ago now? But:

Obligate cannibal stewjoni.

I figure thats not everyone’s jam, so more about biological logistics and how that applies to our good friend Obi-wan below the cut vv

So I know the biology surrounding an obligate cannibal would have to be kind of funky but basically in my mind the prion diseases that would kill irl humans provides a necessary nutrient in stewjoni lifeforms. Perhaps two or more separate humanoid species are the only living things left on the planet after its other meat sources have been hunted to extinction, leaving only the humanoid species left. Maybe a herbivore group vs a group of obligate carnivores? Or maybe it’s just one carnivorous group that utilizes slavery/human husbandry/ human sacrifice? Regardless, it causes them to evolve over time into obligate cannibals. Or something. I offer you an obi-wan with pointed, ripping teeth and (optionally) nails that grow in naturally sharp.

I figure the temple provides Obi-wan with synthetic meat or supplement pills or something that has the added nutrients needed for a stewjoni initiate, so he never actually feels the craving for humanoid flesh until he gets put in a situation where those rations are not readily available to him. I also figure they probably give him special classes on his own biology so he knows how important it actually is to keep those rations/supplements on him at all times, but. You know. Shit just happens to Obi-wan LOL.

Qui-gon discovering a young Obi-wan on Melida-Daan wide eyed and drenched in blood, having gone without his supplements for too long for the first time and deciding that no, he will NOT in fact train this feral animal (he does infact begrudgingly train this feral animal). Qui-gon is wary of this boy, treats him like a dangerous animal that needs to be controlled, and in response, ever grateful for the chance to probe that he is not too wild to be domesticated, his padawan becomes just that. Obi-wan is the perfect jedi, you would scarcely know of his origin planet if not for those teeth (he files his nails down and smiles with his mouth closed. Nothing to be done for speaking, unfortunately.)

There is a significantly more upsetting, dead-dove rabbithole that could be followed regarding one Anakin Skywalker’s missing hand and a master that is Not Normal about his padawan, how something about the boy just makes his teeth itch for the hot, steady gush of fresh blood, but I digress. Im always down to talk about weird starwarse biology and even moreso about obligate cannibal obiwan, but I think I will leave this here for now… :3

[peregrine-ing]

What would you do if you were apart of the leading council of a group of space warrior wonks and your most hippie asshole member of your group roles up after his disaster of a mission with a random kid that he won in a bet, claiming that he is your order's 'chosen one', referencing some ancient prophecy that few pay attention to (your people are constantly seeing various futures, this is normal). What would you say to him.

[dragonciphering]

My teaser for my fic has become a big ass (in my terms) oneshot. So uhhhh here’s some incorrect quotes as compensation. Also most of these ones pertain to this series (the series of oneshots) I’m writing. But they are not in the exact words or in order of happening ;D

<***>

Anakin talking about Obi-Wan, Luke, Qui-gon, and Leia’s Force Ghosts who are watching this time travel fiasco: “Why do you not believe that Force Ghosts are real?”

Ferus, while siping on some tea: “Never seen one. Plus there are no records of any for thousands of years.”

Anakin: “Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.”

Ferus: “Example?”

Anakin: “You can’t see gravity. That’s real.”

Ferus: “I can drop this tea cup.”

Anakin: “Kriff.”

<***>

Ferus: “This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.”

Anakin: “That sounds like a dare to me.”

Ferus bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, inhaling and whispering: “For Force sake—”

<***>

Ferus trying to meditate while Anakin’s in the room: “Force, please give me patience.”

Anakin forgetting he’s not a Sith: “Isn’t it ‘Force give me strength’?”

Ferus, lightly chuckling and running on fumes: *Light chuckle* If the force gave me strength you’d be dead ☺️”

Anakin:

<***>

Anakin: “We had fun, didn’t we, Ferus?”

Ferus: “I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.”

<***>

Anakin: “Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.”

Ferus:

Anakin:

Ferus who knows that’s it’s 5-kriffing-am: “...How did you get into my room? And please, go back to bed.”

<***>

Ferus: “As the most senior padawan here, I say we find another route; it’s not safe for padawans who haven’t been on a mission before.”

Anakin: “That sounds like a challenge.”

Ferus: “I have to stress, that is not a challenge.”

Anakin who’s still trying to stop falling into his old Sith habits: “...That is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!”

Ferus: “There is no challenge!”

<***>

Anakin: “If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. “

Ferus: “...We're on the ground floor.”

Anakin: “I know but I want a dramatic exit.”

<***>

Anakin: Ferus, do you consider me your rival and a good person?”

Ferus: “Of course I do!”

Anakin: “Would you still if I did something bad?”

Ferus: “Well, of course I… would…”

Anakin: “I mean something really, really—”

Ferus: “Anakin…what did you do?”

<***>

Anakin: “Tell them to eat banthashit, Ferus.”

Ferus: “Tell them yourself.”

Anakin: “Eat banthashit, motherkriffer. Fall on your own lightsaber.”

<***>

Ferus: “That was the worst throw ever, probably of all time.”

Anakin: “Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.”

<***>

Ferus: “Could I have some water?”

Anakin: *starts chugging their water bottle*

Anakin: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Anakin: *spills water all over himself*

Anakin, coughing: “I don't have any water.”

Ferus:

<***>

Ferus, injured: “Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?”

Anakin being a smart ass: “Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.”

Ferus, sarcastically and still injured: “Okay yeah thanks Anakin, that's great but wHERE'S THE KRIFFING FIRST AID KIT!?”

<***>

(And a bonus for my mutual @t1nytinn who I now owe my first born child to, due to their sacrifice of doing a shit tone of math for my sake)

Ferus who’s on his last nerve: “When I was your age—”

Anakin, mockingly: “When I was your height!”

Ferus:

Anakin:

Ferus:

Anakin, realizing what he just said: “Wait, ah kriff, I didn’t mean that— *nervous laugh* Please don’t kill me—”

Ferus, in all his queer glory:

<***>

Should I make more?

[phoenixyfriend]

Tony Stark & Natasha Romanova, now in Star Wars

IDK if you folks were ever MEGA into crossovers but did you ever engage with the kind that can more or less be summarized as "isekai but the person 'hit by truck-kun' is a character from a different canon?"

Because that's what this is.

Tony Stark isekai'd into Star Wars (random planet) after dying in Endgame. He knows the movies, but not the supplemental material, as even by the time TPM came out, he was thirty and fucked up and making a name for himself in war. Bad times.

Tony wakes up sixteen and with Nothing to his name but his skills. He does not speak the language. Mostly gets by doing shit like skinning potatoes for a kitchen and pulling weeds and whatnot while he catches up on Basic. (He is apparently fluent, or at least conversational, in French, Spanish, Italian, Latin, and Dari. So Basic would be his Seventh language, and while four of those can be lumped into 'if you learn one, the next will be easier,' Dari is wildly unrelated, so I'd say he could pick up Basic a bit faster than average, especially with 16yo brain elasticity.)

A toddler, two years old with intensely red hair, runs into his shins one day and yells his name very clearly. He looks down, is a little confused, and then a nearby carer from an orphanage jogs up yelling "Nat!" The toddler is Natasha Romanoff. She remembers everything, including dying, but is about twenty-five pounds soaking wet and NOBODY will take her seriously.

It takes some… effort, to explain the situation to the carer. Yes, Tony knows Nat. He worked with uh…. her 'older brother, a man named Clint.' Tony does not currently have the resources for anyone to legally give him custody of a toddler but he's got some motivation to secure housing and a stable income.

He does that. Gets Natasha with him because of course he has to do that. It's the one person he knows. It's Nat.

Turns out she's Force Sensitive, though. A 'natural extension' of her more skillgrinding abilities to read/manipulate people. Tony is not Force Sensitive but he DID recently have a medical episode that took him to a thankfully-government-funded clinic that informed him he has a Bad Heart and will require a pacemaker despite being seventeen.

A Jedi finds Nat while passing through and they Discuss Their Options. This is when Nat is about four. There is a heavy discussion about how her mind is older than her body, so the Jedi would need to be ready for that, but also Tony needs to discuss this with Nat, who was like thirty-nine(?) when she died and thus more than capable of making her own decisions.

Despite fandom generally painting Tony as the most selfish of the Avengers and Natasha as the most coldly practical, they are still heroes who put in some Fucking Effort to become better people, and they come to the conclusion that Natasha would do much more to help this galaxy as a Jedi than as some kid in poverty on a no-name planet. So off she goes!

She's like five years younger than Obi-Wan, the story reveals.

Tony is a bit aimless and the work he's BEEN doing (probably laying down electrical lines or something at this point, IDK, he got into construction or something) gets sideswept by Damage To A Tool. He knows how to fix the tool, but he does not have a forge.

There is a forge in town. He goes to it and says that he can't afford to ask to have it fixed, but he knows how to do it himself, so could he borrow access for a small fee?

This is a Mandalorian armorer. They say no. In fact, they tell him, that would be significantly more expensive than just getting it fixed.

Buuuuuuuuuut for Reasons, the armorer decides that Tony (now 18-19 physically) can do it so long as the Armorer supervises. Tony is competent Enough that the Armorer gives him a datapad and tells him to read it and come back in a week to discuss the topic. Tony warns that Basic is far from his first language and he doesn't have a whole lot of free time, so he probably won't have read it by then. That's fine, they'll just discuss what he has read.

It's about Mando culture, in a mildly propaganda-y way, and Tony comes back to Argue About Religion more than anything. He thinks the Armorer is proselytizing, which they kind of are, but they are also more than happy to discuss the lines between the Mando culture as ethnicity and culture and religion and so on.

This becomes a regular occurence. Tony has made A Friend who has started offering him a side gig doing Basic Village Blacksmith Work that the Armorer deems too menial, like "horse"shoes.

Tony is offered an apprenticeship that he did not expect, on the condition of Becoming Mandalorian.

This is. A heavy decision.

However. Tony is a guy who is at least partly defined by his cool armor. Mandalorians are defined by their cool armor. He has been told, several times, that there are multiple ways to be a Mandalorian. So he accepts, because he decides it's worth for the chance to be somebody who can make a difference in a way he currently can't.

Ten years later, 'Initiate Romanova' goes up to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon as they prepare to leave, and neatly informs them that she has a feeling they are going to have a Bad Time on their mission in Mandalore, and that if they need emergency shelter from enemies, to go to an Armorer by the name of Tony Stark, because that's her brother so she knows that he's going to be friendly to Jedi. (Tony has sent her a small handful of messages, through channels both official and not, about big life events.)

Of course, shit hits the fan and the two plus Satine end up finding Tony's forge and he hides them in his Underground Bunker, which actually has a tunnel to a cave system that is safer than the bunker itself. Because reasons. (IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS.)

He has helper droids! They are named indirectly after friends from the Past Life, things like Spangles.

On their way back after the mission they swing by to say hi and he asks them to bring something to Natasha and it's a matryoshka doll set he made based on the Avengers (it goes based on age so the outermost is Thor, followed by I think Bruce, Rhodey, Tony, Clint, Natasha, Steve, Sam, Wanda, Vision), as well as a plushie he had custom made by somebody in town of a Bird With Archery Gear, even though she's too old for that stuff.

Even among the Jedi, Natasha is WEIRD and SERIOUS and everyone's pretty damn sure she's going to be a Shadow, or at least do a HECK of a lot of undercover work.

IDK how this plays out but Tony is definitely keeping an eye on politics so he can figure out the Palpatine rise to power and remind Natasha in case she's forgotten because when they first split they didn't, either of them, know what to expect in regards to her memory given the whole Baby Brain issue.

"Why is Tony an Armorer"

Okay some more thoughts!

I think Tony's aggressively atheist and consistently watching whoever claims to be Mand'alor with a critical eye in case he has to step in, and does not take any references to ka'ra with any real seriousness. That said. He's an Armorer now. A weird one who refuses like half his clients for Ethics Reasons, but technically a cultural authority figure who's allowed to argue with the Mand’alor.

@penpalpixie:

fsr the initial meeting scenario with the armorer bugs me,like would they really just let him" but tbf Tony knows how to steamroll people and could probably dissect the forge in an instant.

Which, yeah, in my defense, I put this together in about two hours so some of it's a bit wonk? BUT. @threebea had a good suggestion for how/why the Armorer had Tony actually do things in the forge instead of telling him to scram:

Maybe Tony has been doing some 'crafting' on the side maybe droid repairs or modifications which is how the Armorer first sort of hears about him and then one day there's the kid that people have been mentioning the Stars aligned here's a pamphlet. He can't make a living off gizmos in his situation since most of what Star wars has is advanced tech and to do anything impressive he would need more resources and more of an understanding of the mathematics of this universe (Stares at ceiling one night trying to figure out if the law of relativity would be a thing here). That might slow him down just like… his math doesn't actually work here so on top of language he would have to learn things to do complicated stuff that he could already buy for a credit. But with armory it's concepts he knows well and adding weapons to armor especially no lethal ones is something he also knows. Mandalorian armor with UNI BEAM

When it comes to canon, he knows THE big thing (Palpatine is Sidious) and basically nothing else. He thinks he remembers the clones being Mando? but he's honestly not even sure he remembers the original Fett's first name correctly. He knows the guy is a Fett, because Boba was a cultural mainstay for Tony's childhood, so like, it was nice to have some backstory, but he's honestly not sure how likely "that baby Mand'alor that went missing" is to being Boba's plot-relevant dad. Could be an uncle for all he knows, or just a guy with the same last name.

@firebirdeternal:

I feel like to keep things fair Tony should be able to scale up a little harder than the average Mandalorian. Yeah all his tech knowledge is a bit out-dated and he isn't likely to get an arc reactor running in a way that'll be more powerful than anything locally available, but I feel like he'd adapt pretty darn quickly to available tech and start Improving Things Nat's skills all translate extremely well, once she's not got stumpy toddler body she's basically back to her old level PLUS telekinesis and wibbly force nonsense although I understand if that's also not the focus of the fic, being less "And now there's some Avengers Here (Powerset)" and more "And now there's some Avengers Here (Attitudes and Characters)"

Nat is very excited to Break Into Tony's Cave.

NGL this was initially going to be a Tony Raises Nat thing but I couldn't ultimately justify her NOT going the Jedi route after I realized I wanted her to be Sensitive.

There was also a discarded plot idea about her being a little older and having gone undercover in death watch, because Tony got kidnapped to work for them and got through to her, where she gets to use her Bites as a teen but I scrapped it.

I do think she successfully argues to her Master to visit him at 14 to get light armor though.

Nat's the sneakiest little initiate and also. Very, very controlled in the scary way during spars.

Bea:

Natasha as a Jedi is so good. Like, she would probably have a bit of dissonance between Jedi training and the training she received as a child, and it might help her work through some things. Nat: I've known Yoda for three days but if anything happened to him I would kil-- wait uh (pivots) I would be very sad. She would try to sneak up on council members. It is like a kitten stalking a cat on the outside, but also she's a grown woman and wants to be that good. (AU of this If Quinlan ever saw this he'd adopt her: Quinlan: Tholme I found a new padawan sister. Get training Tholme: [literally just finished with Quinlan. Had planned to take a vacation. Meditate. Drink. He loves his kid but needs literally a moment here] Tholme: She's seven. Quinlan: I was four. Tholme: … Quinlan: She has a secret tragic background toooo I know you like that 😄 Tholme: [Sigh] Nat: …wait is he supposed to be Sherlock Holmes. I think he's space Sherlock Holmes. Need to ask Tony if Star Wars had Sherlock Holmes? lol yeah Tholme just feels like he could blend well with an avengers story, and a Black Widow story in particular)

Not joking when I say I considered if I could squeeze Tholme into the timeline.

Tony sends her music files that he thinks sounds Particularly Ballet to her because he remembers how much she liked dancing, as the main or even only positive thing from her Red Room training, and how she once said that if she hadn't become a spy, she thinks she'd have liked to be a ballerina.

The first time they see each other in person in years is her visiting for baby armor at 14 and is hesitant to hug him because like. Yeah he's her "brother" and there were a few years where they were acting as such and he was helping her with Basic Tasks that she doesn't like to think about too much because it's embarrassing, and they cuddled THEN, because she was Physically Baby, but they're just coworkers in reality, right? Should she hug him? If only to sell the bit to her Jedi Master?

Tony is also not the most huggy person and isn't sure if HE should hug Nat because he remembers jokey stabbing threats from when they were Avengers and like. Does she still feel that way, now that she's not a bumbling like tot?

They are both unsure of if hugging is on the table and it's the Jedi Master who says "you know, you're allowed to hug, if you want" under the impression that they aren't sure if the Jedi would allow it. And then the hug is very tight and loving because at least subconsciously they DID both want that.

The Jedi Master takes a pic.

Bea:

Jedi master: (aw) It's one of those "we've been in life or death situations together and also grew up together kinda sorta and also we're trauma bonded," and the first opportunity to solidify Family as their dynamic they both jump in feet first. And both of them were like. Extremely lonely children probably. In different ways but still.

(It's why the Hawkeye plushie didn't make her CRY, per se, but she does start keeping it in her bed even though she's Too Old for these things.)

When it comes to hugging, Nat is understandably concerned about overstepping and like. "Taking" Morgan's place. (I'm going with Tony and Nat being friends (or at least friendly) from A1 to A2, and during the blip she stopped by for dinner once in a while. Nat doing her best to bring Child Appropriate Gifts for Morgan (she misses being Aunt Nat for the Barton kids).) Or as Bea put it: Tony: Are you spying on me or are we doing people things? Nat: Can't it be both?

Anyway, their dynamic is a weird little midpoint once they're in Star Wars but then they get to a point in the armor making where Tony takes a break on a bench and she slips in under his arm to cuddle and it's just Nice (even though he's kinda sweaty and gross from the blacksmithing).

Bea:

Tony: ….. so……. is Yoda… does he look like… is he…. Nat: …???? Tony: You saw the Muppets right? Is he still a Muppet? Nat: [totally has seen the Muppets] what's a Muppet? Tony: You're killing your brother, Nat ;A;

Also the comedy of having MULTIPLE "secret languages" that nobody can translate.

It's handy, too. Between her and Tony, but also lots of languages to give different uses to. Can teach one to a specific faction for communication. OH, the poor Threepio units! She got stuck in a room with one once, and don't get my wrong, they can pick up a language fast, but they need to hear long enough sampling of it. Nat: I'm not teaching you stop asking I do agree too that Tony and Nat no matter their circumstances would be working towards stopping Palpatine. Like is this a real space is this a dream is this another dimension that just happens to be like a movie in ours? Doesn't matter the dictator is going down.

The Jedi Master is somewhat aware of the whole 'used to be an adult, sort of' thing. I don't know that they believe she's linearly matured but probably they think it's something like what I did in Jedi Babies It's definitely more explicit with a mind healer she got assigned soon after arrival.

She didn't decide whether to play it straight and "get help" or just try to game the system until she was actually sitting down. But she'd been having screaming night terrors about things she experienced in her first life, so.

Pixie:

She meets Anakin after TPM (if it's not avoided) when Obi-Wan's trying to settle him in and goes "ah, I know how to handle this kid." At some point Anakin and Tony end up sending each other various schematics.

[fanfic-obsessed]

What the Fuck

You know, I have a fair amount of fondness for what could be considered light Qui Gon bashing, specifically in regards to how he raised Obi Wan. I wonder if any of you could tell?

Along those lines I there is one thing I would love to see more of, the High Council finding out much later (like during the war) the fucked up parts of Obi Wan’s padawanship and just go ‘Fucking what????’

Walk with me for a minute while I explain.  Also this is an idea for an AU not a commentary on any version of cannon. 

There are 10,000 Jedi. There is no way the high council could be personally involved with all the Master Padawan pairs, not to mention not all the members during the war were members during Obi Wan’s padawan years. So let’s start from the premise that Qui Gon and Obi Wan had the normal amount of interaction with the High Council. This is, in part, because Qui Gonn lies like a rug for 90% of their reports to make them seem more normal than they actually are.  In this idea Qui Gon is also at the very least emotionally abusive and negligent, if not physically abusive as well. 

So Obi Wan grows up thinking things like being left in a Cantina for hours to days is normal Master behavior, or being lost in bet (both intentionally to track slave rings and just because Qui Gon did not have as good a hand as he thought), or being forced to meditate his needs away for days, or the crippling anxiety that Qui Gon seemed to be deliberately instilling. Obi Wan never does these things to Anakin (Obi Wan just cannot convince himself to treat Anakin like he was treated, but justifies it to himself that it was Anakin that had the strange padawanship because he came to the temple too late and too early. He does always feel like a failure of a master for the fact that he couldn’t do it). 

Obi Wan doesn’t talk about it to other Jedi, not out of shame but out of the sincerely held belief that every padawan faced the same, that it would be boring. He does not tell Anakin because he does not want to make his padawan feel bad for having a strange padawanship. 

He does give utterly horrifying answers to any member of his battalion that asks questions about his padawan years, which convinces the clones that the Jedi need to be protected from themselves. 

Now that we have set the stage, I think this should be a random time not tied to any specific set of events. Though It should be after Ahsoka is assigned to Anakin. I kind of want the Anakin, Ahsoka, Cody, and Rex present and the High council has just finished the “official” part of the meeting and have moved on to just chatting, or maybe it was before the meeting began, or perhaps it is semi official where they are talking about some Cantina in the mid rim that would be useful in an upcoming mission. 

No matter the situation, Obi Wan fondly reminisces about the proprietor and how they (the proprietor, Obi Wan, and some of the regulars) had worked out a routine where Obi Wan would lure in slavers that targeted children, the proprietor would drug them, and the regulars would steal their things and figure out where they were hiding their ‘product’.  

There is confused silence among the jedi present. At last Plo Koon goes ‘I know you looked young without your beard, but I didn’t think it was that young’ while thinking that he didn’t think he was that bad at judging near human ages. 

Obi Wan laughs and goes ‘oh no. This was when I was 14, though I was a bit stunted after Melida/Daan so I did look a few years younger. Master Jinn like to gamble around the corner whenever we had a mission that brought us to that sector, he got great tips about the slave trade. I was so scrawny that I didn’t make good collateral until I was 16. So he left me in the Cantina’. He then muses thoughtfully that the proprietor always seemed angry with Master Jinn when he came to collect Obi Wan. 

There is a dead silence, every member of the High Council turned silently to stare at Obi Wan.  Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex looked shocked while Cody looked somewhere between tired and murderous as he stared into the middle distance. 

Mace Windu asks, in that careful voice people can get where they don’t want to let on that there is anything wrong, about being ‘collateral’.  Obi Wan answers with the air of someone who thinks their experience is much more universal than it was. Every answer he gives sparks more questions and more horror. 

Obi Wan is so used to thinking that his experiences were universal that it takes him several questions before he realizes that no one is reacting as if this is normal. He starts to try and explain, you know trying to make himself understood because he assumes that it is merely him explaining badly, which makes it worse and worse and worse. Anakin is near hyperventilating because that was decidedly not how his own padawan years went (and explained some of the strange questions that Cody has asked him over the years).

Cody is actually relieved that the Jedi appear to be just as horrified over all of this as the clones were.

Each and every other member of the High council is both internally and visibly going ‘Fucken what????!!!’ with every statement Obi Wan is making.  Just a straight up hour of being horrified, not evening being able to move onto guilt that no one noticed because of the sheer volume of WTF.  Interspersed with various Jedi thinking about how they are going to need to get a therapist that is dedicated specifically to Obi Wan, and probably a therapist for the therapist to avoid burnout.

[rainintheevening]

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan with 81 or 83? ❤️

From 100 ways to say ILY

Already done 83, so 81 it is! Going back to the Modern AU for this one. Qui-Gon is a single dad cop and Obi-Wan is his son. This was almost certainly not what you had in mind for this ask, but here. Angst, lots of angst, with some sweet comfort.

81. "Sweet dreams."

Obi-Wan always gets picked up from school by a police car. Not always his dad's, but always someone from the force.

He knows them all, they're his family. But seeing car 552 gives him an extra rush of joy. He crosses the cold parking lot at a run, easily weaving between busses and people and other cars.

But it's not his dad behind the wheel.

Instead he tosses his backpack into the warmth, and bends down to look into the face of Lieutenant Feemor.

Feemor, his dad's first rookie, who helped Obi-Wan learn how to swim at the community pool.

"Fee?" he asks, confused, and suddenly afraid.

"Hey, Obi." Feemor's smile is kind, but Obi-Wan’s stomach has started churning. "Yeah, I had to pick up your dad's car anyway, and I told him it would be better if someone else talked to you first. He's at the station."

"Is he okay?" he blurts as he climbs in the passenger side, fumbles with his seat belt.

"Physically, yes." Feemor is very steady and calm, but his eyes... his eyes are sad and full of pain. "He wasn't hurt. But something... pretty bad happened, so he's upset and pretty rattled."

Obi-Wan doesn't know if that makes things worse or better. He's seen his dad come home from bad car crashes or other things, and sometimes he's quiet, and he cries a little when he hugs Obi-Wan to sleep. Other times he's angry, and he paces in the kitchen until Obi-Wan makes him hot chocolate and they go sleep in his dad's bed. But what could be so bad he doesn't have time to pick Obi-Wan up from school?

"What happened?" Obi-Wan demands. "Who died? Someone died, right? Come on, I'm twelve, I can handle it."

Feemor pulls out onto the road from the school, glances at him quickly. "You are a strong kid," he says quietly. "You know how often your dad would talk about you being the reason he never even thinks about it being too much? The reason he gets up every morning, and puts his uniform on again?"

"He's my best friend," Obi-Wan says softly. "He's my whole family."

Feemor's smile is quick. "Well, you've got us too, Obi. Don't forget your family in blue."

"So are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Stubborn," Fee mutters. "Like your dad."

And then Feemor tells him.

It was Xanatos, his dad's rookie. Zan, Obi-Wan wants to cry, but he keeps still. They had just had Zan and Feemor and Mace and Depa over for supper last week. They'd had a snowball fight in the yard before hand.

But that morning, Zan had missed his shift, and Qui-Gon had been worried, driven over to his house to check on him.

"He was on drugs, Qui said." Feemor's voice is slow, hesitant. "Not talking right. And then he..."

"He killed himself." Obi-Wan says it louder than he meant to, and Fee starts.

"Well, yeah. Or he shot himself, but he didn't get to the hospital in time. Your dad had to handle the whole thing."

Obi-Wan pretends not to notice Feemor's lips trembling when he stops talking. And Feemor says nothing about the tears that have started to slide down Obi-Wan’s nose. He just reaches over to pat Obi-Wan’s knee, and Obi-Wan takes his hand, and they drive like that the rest of the way to the police station.

Obi-Wan doesn't want to be crying when he sees his dad, he wants to be strong. But then his dad turns from where he's standing with Captain Mace, and his face is so sad, so thoroughly heartbroken, that Obi-Wan starts running, and by the time he's in his dad's arms he's sobbing.

"Oh, Daddy!"

He can say nothing more, but he wraps his legs around his dad's waist, and buries his face in Qui-Gon's neck, and holds on so tight to keep his dad from falling apart.

"My son. Oh, my son."

His dad's voice is rough, but quiet by his ear, and a row of bearded kisses gets planted down the side of Obi-Wan’s face.

Obi-Wan's tears halt quickly, though, and he pulls back, hands on Qui-Gon's cheeks, searching his dad's face for something he can help with, something he can fix.

The man's eyes are red, but his cheeks are dry. He smiles faintly at Obi-Wan, leans into his touch. "Fee told you, then."

Obi-Wan nods, gulps. His dad frees one hand from around his back, and gently smooths his thumb under Obi-Wan’s eyes, drying the last of his tears.

"Why? Why did he do that?" Because Obi-Wan had no idea. "Why did he want to die? Didn't he know it would hurt you?"

Qui-Gon's face crumples up, and then he pulls Obi-Wan back in against his chest. He sways slightly, rocking Obi-Wan as if he was little. Obi-Wan doesn't mind.

"I'm... not sure. I don't know all the reasons why."

"But you know everything," Obi-Wan says, startled, almost betrayed.

There's a pause, before his dad looks at him, and he looks so incredibly tired, Obi-Wan almost cries again.

"No. No, I don't," Qui-Gon says. "I never have."

And Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say to that.

There's more hugs and talking, and Depa, Captain Mace's rookie, sits with him while his dad talks to someone in an office. Depa doesn't say much, but he can tell she's been crying. So he gets a Hardy Boys book out of his backpack, and reads to her.

He feels unbalanced; like he's dizzy, but he's not. He wants to go home, and be safe with his dad, and drink hot chocolate on the couch, and watch Cars.

He thinks about Zan, wonders where he shot himself. In the head? He tries to imagine what that would look like, then tries equally hard not to imagine.

Feemor drives them home, in his car. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sit in the back, so Obi-Wan can curl against his dad's side. They don't talk much.

They get takeout from Dex's Diner, and Fee tells them that Chief Yoda wants him to stay with them for the night.

Qui-Gon tells him that's not necessary, and Obi-Wan is torn. He likes hanging out with Feemor, it's like having a big brother. But he really just wants to be with his dad.

"Sorry," Fee says, parking in the driveway. "Orders are orders. I'll stay out of your hair. But I'd appreciate the company myself," he adds, and Qui-Gon stops arguing with him.

Fee is true to his word. He's there, but he's quiet.

Obi-Wan shows him how to make the magic hot chocolate while his dad is taking a shower.

"Why is it magic?" Feemor asks, putting all their food on plates.

"Dad calls it that because it fixes everything." Obi-Wan shrugs. "I know it doesn't fix everything, but it helps."

When Qui-Gon comes in and smells the hot chocolate, he smiles for the first time all day.

Feemor sits quietly on the floor, and Obi-Wan forgets about him, while they watch Cars.

He's sleepy after, and doesn't remember anything other than his dad saying he doesn't need to worry about homework, he'll write a note for Obi-Wan's teacher tomorrow.

They're lying together in Qui-Gon's big bed, Obi-Wan snuggled against his dad's side, when he blinks awake.

He's used to sleeping with his dad, it's just something they do whenever they need it. But he remembers suddenly, more than once, when he would wake up and find his dad sleeping in the chair in Obi-Wan’s room.

"Bad dreams," was all his dad would say.

Qui-Gon had a lot of interesting dreams, and he often told Obi-Wan about them. But he never talked about the bad ones.

Obi-Wan looks up at the side of his dad's face; he's staring up at the ceiling, hardly blinking.

He reaches up, touches Qui-Gon's cheek, and his dad starts, turns to look at him. His eyes are tired, but he looks at Obi-Wan with love.

"Are you afraid of nightmares? About what happened? About Zan?"

Qui-Gon blinks, and he looks like he can't decide how to feel. He rolls onto his side, scoops Obi-Wan in against his big chest, kisses his face. "Not when I have you here."

"Okay." Obi-Wan pulls his dad's head down to kiss his forehead, then each cheek, then his nose. "Sweet dreams, Dad."

Qui-Gon makes a funny noise, but he only hugs Obi-Wan closer and whispers, "I love you, son."

"Love you back," Obi-Wan says, yawning.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, only waking safe and warm beside his dad. Because together they can handle anything. Even fight away bad dreams.

[hellowkatey]

Preventative Care

While going in for a routine check-up, Obi-Wan finds out he isn't as healthy as he thought. Things go downhill quickly. (part of my med bay diaries medical accuracy series) 5.5k words // rated M for somewhat graphic medical descriptions

The only thing worse than being forced to go to the medbay when ill was having to go when feeling perfectly fine. Obi-Wan’s foot tapped impatiently as he waited for his turn. Yearly physicals were a waste of time, in his opinion. What could they possibly find by doing quick glances at his ears and nose and tapping his knees until they involuntarily kicked?

Knowing his thoughts on the subject, Cody felt it necessary to accompany him. (Holding him prisoner was more like it.)

“My appointment was at eleven,” Obi-Wan grumbled, checking his watch for the fourth time in the last few minutes.

“It’s only five past eleven, sir,” Cody said with a sigh.

“I believe I have a meeting—”

“You don’t.”

Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest, sinking down in the chair. He was self-aware enough to realize he was being a bit childish. There was just something about going to the healers that brought that side out of him. 

continue reading

[orion-kenobi]

star wars continuity being in shambles is wonderful actually. it accidentally adds so much to the characters. i know it’s because qui-gon didn’t exist when the OT came out but i would give so much to see obi-wan’s in universe explanation of his quite frankly bizarre choice to never mention qui-gon to luke, or say that he’d never owned a droid. the prequel trilogy was born and obi-wan went from kind old man with tragic past to chronic liar.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Just found out stephen lang was in an episode of Psych and I immediately had to google which one because I can't just NOT have this knowledge. Do you ever get that way when you find out about an actor you like was in a show you love but you never noticed?

First of all, I had seen every single episode of Psych multiple times before I had ever watched Avatar, so I should have known this. Upon checking, he's just in Shawn Gets The Yips which is not one of my fav episodes that I know like beat for beat so I guess it makes sense. Also, ironically, both his episode of Psych and Avatar came out in 2009. Banger year for Stephen, huh?

As for if I do that, you are asking a question that would make people I know in real life laugh in your face. I'm one of those annoying bastards who prides themselves on identifying like any actor in anything at all times and being able to rattle off everything else I've ever seen them in. My IMDB app is constantly open, if I vaguely recognize an actor I will spend the entire rest of the film scrolling through their body of work trying to figure out what obscure police procedural they were in one episode of that I recognize them from. I was just slapping my coworker on the arm when we watch Psych during our lunch break, pointing out that Dez from Austin and Ally is in not one, but two episodes of Psych as two different characters. My dad has always been like this, and we kind of just one up each other all the time. My mom could not do this to save her life, so we have developed mom speak.

For example, today I was telling her who was still in on Dancing with the Stars, and I commented that Xochitl Gomez was still in. My mom said she had no idea who that was, I said she was America Chavez in Doctor Strange: The Multiverse of Madness. My mom shrugged and I said "the little girl who kept exploding in and out of the place" and my mom went "OH YEAH."