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pilesofpillows · 2 years ago

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Mmmmmmmmm mm mm mm

I know I say it frequently but we STAY eatin good in Attoye Nation

Shotgun smoking, desk sex, the confidence, him calling her Ma, RAW DESK SEX, the spraying of walls, and now he’s the security guard?! Siiiiaaaaaan, I can’t breathe with you.

After the Smoke Settles | Attoye | E | 2.4k words | AO3 Link

For Attoye Week 2023 @attoye-week

Day 2: Alternate Universe - Biker!Attuma and Party Girl Okoye

Summary: Attuma is the Sergeant-at-Arms for the Talokanil War Gods M.C. There is a tentative alliance between his M.C. and local Wakandan crime boss M'Kathu AKA The Chief. Both organizations are celebrating a year of successful partnership with one another. Attuma, new to the local chapter, sees Okoye at a party at his M.C's clubhouse. He wants to get to know her, but she is The Chief's daughter. Namor warns him not to go near Okoye because her father is overprotective and it would surely sour their alliance, but Attuma won't say no if the Wakandan beauty is interested in him -- even if it is just for one night.

Content: Unprotected sex; oral sex; hooking up; recreational drug use; drinking; drunk sex; dirty talk; language; minor violence.

The sounds of laughter and clinking drinks filled the space of the club room. Attuma stood next to his friend and new President, Namor. Ever since Attuma had come over and joined that chapter of the Talokanil War Gods Motorcycle Club as their Sergeant-at-Arms almost two months prior, he had been fitting in well. Namor ran a tight ship. They were working on forming alliances with other outfits in order to continue their operations. Having grown up together, Attuma and Namor knew and trusted one another. It was the reason why Attuma came to work with him.

They glanced around the club room, watching their brothers enjoy the party. Namor did not often throw parties, but they were celebrating a year of an alliance with the Wakandans. A year of prosperous partnerships for both outfits.

Both parties were having fun. The mood was light. Drinks were flowing, the music was good, and a few people were dancing. Attuma’s eyes fell on a group of young women at the edge of the makeshift dancefloor. A couple were Sweet Butts, and the rest were Wakandan. He watched them dance and laugh, enjoying themselves, until another young woman from the Wakandan group ambled over – scratch that – glided over.

Attuma was certain his jaw dropped at the sight of her. Big doe eyes; long braids; dark skin; and a blinding smile. She was breathtaking. She danced her way into the center of the circle of girls, twirling as she went. The yellow form-fitting dress drawing attention to her slender body and round ass. Attuma was practically salivating.

“Sakun winik,” said Attuma to Namor. “Who’s that?”

“Who?” Namor replied.

“That goddess in the yellow dress.”

Namor looked over at the dancefloor and then back to Attuma.

“Don’t go there, itz’in winik.”

“Why not? Is she someone’s Ol’ Lady? I’ve never seen her before. What’s her name?”

“Okoye.”

“Okoye,” Attuma repeated, enjoying the way her name felt on his lips.

“And she’s off limits. That’s the Chief’s daughter. He’d probably bury anyone who even looks at her.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious. You know Long John Silver over at the shop?”

“Yeah, that white boy with the eyepatch? Wait, you tellin’ me the Chief knocked that kid’s eye out for lookin’ at his daughter?”

“Nah, he got into a hunting accident or some shit and lost it. But, the Chief cut off his trigger finger ‘cause he was in the club and tried to touch Okoye’s hair without her permission.”

“Fuck,” said Attuma before laughing. “Silly prick deserved that.”

“Right,” Namor replied. “No more hunting for his ass.”

Attuma laughed once more and then said, “If he even looks at my future wife, I’ll take his other fuckin’ eye.”

“Attuma,” Namor warned. “Leave her alone. We’re celebrating a year of peace with the Wakandans. Don’t fuck it up over a pretty girl.”

“Christ, brother. I’m not gonna fuck anything up. It’s cool. I won’t go near her.”

…

The party was in full swing and Attuma needed some time on his own away from the revellers. He stood out in the high-walled yard and lit a joint. A bike’s engine revved outside the gate before it opened and let someone in. A girl shrieked and then laughed off in the distance. A beer bottle smashed nearby.

Attuma took a long pull at his joint and then leaned his head against the wall of the clubhouse. The door nearest to him flung open and two people stepped out. The sound of footfalls on gravel caused him to look over in their direction.

“You need to stop!” said a young man.

“Fuck you,” the woman replied.

Attuma straightened up and narrowed his gaze. It was the Chief’s daughter, Okoye. She was being followed by some guy, who then reached out and gabbed her by the arm.

“Don’t touch me, W’Kabi!”

“We’re leaving, now,” said W’Kabi firmly as he tried to drag Okoye away.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Stop being such a brat and move your ass!”

Attuma eyes narrowed even more, he flicked his joint to the ground, and then walked towards the pair.

“Hey, Okoye, right?” he asked when he got close. “Are you okay? This asshole giving you trouble?”

She turned her head, then looked up at Attuma’s face. Before she could answer, W’Kabi spoke up.

“Fuck off and mind your business,” he spat, tugging on Okoye’s arm once more.

Attuma stared him down and then looked back at Okoye.

“You wanna take your hand off o’ the young lady?” said Attuma, inching closer.

W’Kabi let go of Okoye’s arm and poked Attuma in the chest.

“I told you to fuck off –”

Before he could finish his sentence, Attuma grabbed W’Kabi’s wrist and twisted it, causing him to groan loudly in pain.

W’Kabi bent over as Attuma leaned down and said, “Nah, I think you need to fuck off before I break your arm and your face, lil’ bitch.”

Attuma then pushed W’Kabi away, causing him to stumble, before he righted himself, threw Attuma an unimpressed look, and walked away. Attuma watched him leave, before turning to Okoye.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice softer than before.

“Yeah. I mean, yeah. Thank you.”

“I don’t usually step in when couples are arguing –”

“I’m not with him,” she replied quickly. “He’s just some asshole who works for my father.”

“Why was he putting his hands on you?”

“Because he thinks he has the right to as my bodyguard.”

“That bitch made motherfucker is your bodyguard?” asked an incredulous Attuma.

“Not anymore,” Okoye replied as she grabbed her phone and started to dial a number. “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Attuma.”

“Hi, Attuma. Sorry, excuse me a sec. Hello?” she said into the phone. “Baba? Yes. Everything’s fine. I don’t want W’Kabi on my security detail anymore. He put his hands on me. Yes. Yes, I’m okay.”

She looked down at the small patch on Attuma’s vest and then said, “The Sergeant-at-Arms of the TWG stepped in and helped me. New guy. Attuma. Yes. Baba, I’m okay, really. Attuma’s going to look after me. Sure.”

Okoye removed the phone from her ear and then looked at Attuma.

“My father would like to speak with you,” she said handing the phone over.

Attuma knit his brow but answered.

“Hello, sir? Yes. Well, the guy was yelling at your daughter and tried to forcibly drag her away. Yes. Yes, sir. I stepped in, roughed him up a little, and made him leave. No need to thank me, anyone would help like that. Yes. I appreciate you saying so. That’s fine. Happy to help. Thank you, sir. Goodnight.”

Attuma handed the phone back to Okoye. She bid her father goodnight after reassuring him she was safe and well. She looked at Attuma who stared back at her. He ran his fingers through his hair and gave her a small smile, which she returned.

“My father asked if you would wait with me until his driver picks me up. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” said Attuma.

He gestured for her to follow him to one of the picnic tables that stood over near the high wall. Okoye walked beside Attuma, and they both took a seat beside one another.

“So, how did you know my name?” she asked while positioning her body so that she was facing him.

Attuma placed both of his legs astride the bench seating. He licked his lips absently and said, “A lady like you steps in the room and a man like me finds out your name pretty quickly.”

“Alright then,” Okoye replied with a nod and a smile. “Thanks again for what you did.”

“It was nothin’. I hope these guys who work for your father all don’t think they can treat you like that.”

“They don’t,” she proffered sincerely. “Just W’Kabi. He thinks because we grew up together that things are different between us. They’re not. He’s still one of my father’s shit kickers.”

“Yeah, well, fuck him,” said Attuma, as he reached in his pocket to get another joint and his lighter. “I’m done talkin’ about that asshole.”

He lit his joint and took a deep drag before holding out to offer Okoye some. She gave him a crooked, devilish sort of smile and leaned forward. Okoye placed both hands to Attuma’s thick thighs and shifted closer. Their faces were close, and heat was radiating from both of their bodies. When Okoye’s lips neared Attuma’s, she licked them and said, “Shotgun me.”

Attuma placed his hand to Okoye’s slim waist to hold her in place. He then released the smoke from his mouth and blew it between Okoye’s lips. She closed her eyes and drew the smoke in. The effects of the drug and the headiness of being in such proximity to Okoye made Attuma’s head spin. He didn’t know how long he had been staring at her, but suddenly realized the young woman had climbed into his lap, with her legs wrapped around his hips and her arms draped over his shoulders.

“You’re pretty,” said Okoye as she ran her fingers through his long tresses.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Attuma replied, staring into the darkness of her obsidian eyes.

“We don’t have much time.”

“For what?” he asked, tightening his grip on her hips.

Okoye leaned forward and pressed her lips to Attuma’s. He deepened the kiss immediately. She pulled away slightly, and he followed her, craving more.

“For me to show you how grateful I am for you stepping in to help me.”

Attuma brought his hand up to cup Okoye’s face before he said, “You don’t have to do anything to thank me, Sweetness.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked, a conspirative expression crossing her beautiful face.

“Hmm,” Attuma nodded.

“I don’t do anything I don’t want to do,” she whispered close to Attuma’s ear. “And I really wanna do you.”

…..

As far as bad ideas went, the one that had found Attuma and Okoye in the small office felt way too fucking good. After shoving most of the papers from the desktop, Attuma laid Okoye down and sunk to his knees. She hiked her dress up and placed her legs over his shoulders.

Attuma ran his hand over the lace panties Okoye was wearing and she shivered. He stuck his fingers under the garment and then tore them from Okoye. She let out a little welp.

“I’m keepin’ these,” he said as he shoved the torn panties into the back pocket of his jeans.

Before Okoye could reply with a smart answer, Attuma had began to suck kisses to her inner thigh as he toyed with her clit. He hummed against her skin as he peppered biting kisses there. Okoye let out a moan when his lips made their way to her glistening pussy. Attuma ran his tongue over her slit and up to her sensitive nub. He sucked her clit into his mouth and hummed once more. A wave of pleasure washed over Okoye. She laced her fingers through Attuma’s hair as he ate her out. She came moments later with a shudder and his name on her lips.

…..

“Fuck – Ma, this pussy so tight,” said Attuma as he sheathed his impressive length inside of Okoye.

He had her bent over the desk with his raw dick deep between her swollen folds.

“You gonna do something about it or just stand there looking pretty?”

“You got a smart mouth on you, Sweetness,” he said sharply, as his hips snapped forward. “Won’t be so smart with this dick in it.”

He thrust forward again with more fervor, causing Okoye to whimper and curse.

“Shit – shit.”

“Fuck.”

“Wish we had time for that,” said Okoye as she threw her ass back, drawing a loud moan from Attuma’s lips. “Really wanna choke on it.”

“Fuck,” said Attuma as he grabbed at Okoye’s throat and pulled her head back while he rammed his cock into her again and again. He lifted her leg so that it was rested on the desktop as he wrapped a hand around her chest to draw her back to him. Attuma kissed Okoye’s neck and then bit down onto her shoulder, all the while he kept driving himself into her.

His orgasm was drawing nearer, and he could feel that Okoye’s was, too. She was almost crying out in pleasure as her walls clenched around his dick. Soon, she was creaming over his length and coming hard. Her well-fucked cunt drew Attuma’s aching cock deeper inside and he finally came. He didn’t pull out, but both of them were too fuck-drunk to care.

After a moment, Attuma withdrew himself and found something to clean them both up with. Okoye was still bent over the desk as Attuma fixed her clothing, and then his.

“Damn,” she said, all breathless and beautiful. “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk.”

Attuma let out a little laugh and then wrapped his arms around Okoye. He turned her so that she was standing and facing him. He captured her lips in a slow, sensuous kiss before running his hand up and down her back.

“That was fun,” she said, threading her fingers through his hair again.

“You were amazing,” Attuma replied.

“We should do this again some time,” said Okoye as she rested her hands on his firm chest.

“Definitely,” Attuma offered as he dipped down to kiss Okoye again. “Let me know when and where, and I’ll be there.”

…..

The meeting was almost at its conclusion when Namor poured himself another drink and said, “One last order of business.”

The brothers around the table gave him their attention even though some were watching the clock.

“The Chief wanted to give his formal thanks to our brother Attuma for lookin’ out for his daughter last weekend at the party.”

Some of the men patted Attuma’s shoulders.

“You did a good thing, Attuma,” said Namor. “His girl is his pride and joy. You did both of them a solid by takin’ care of her when she was on our property.”

“Any of us would’ve done the same thing,” Attuma said, leaving out the part where he had fucked Okoye within an inch of her life. “Just glad we’re in their good books.”

“You definitely are,” Namor replied. “The Chief wants to hire you as his daughter’s bodyguard. Interim bodyguard, actually.”

“What?” asked Attuma, genuinely shocked.

“Apparently you made a real impression on her,” Namor explained. “She asked her father for you specifically to look out for her until they hire someone else. You up for it?”

Attuma thought about the offer for less than a beat before her said, quite enthusiastically, “Yeah. Fuck yeah. I’m up for it. Sign me up.”

#it’s okay though #breathing is overrated anyway #did I mention the desk sex and how fucking hot it was??#cuz good gawdamightee #lemme go touch grass before I beg for a sequel or 8 #attoye #okoye x attuma #attoye week 2023 #attuma x okoye #okoye x attuma fanfiction #siancore

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deepdisireslonging · 11 months ago

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Cake or Cookies

A good round of sexy texting during girls’ night leads to sexy personal time when Bucky gets home.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x curvy!Reader

Warnings/Promises: food mention, descriptions of injuries (canon-level), dirty talk, sexting, SMUT, oral (both receiving), implied further smut

Word Count: 3080

Note: They can pry the Avenger Apartment/Tower from my cold dead hands. Everything’s fine, everyone is fine; what trauma? Why can’t we have nice things? I went hunting through some of my lost prompts and found a couple to squeeze together. Happy reading!

Girls’ night in the Tower was bound to be dangerous. It was usually when Natasha came up with the next round of pranks to play on the boys. And when Wanda took it upon herself to create the best pillow fort to watch movies in. Her magic made it easy to pile the couch pillows and blankets into what looked more like a cozy cave than a fort. And Maria kept track of where to find any films not already stored in Stark’s library.

You were in charge of snacks. Drinks were cozy only: tea, hot chocolate, and coffee. Alcohol parties were for other nights. Snacks ranged anywhere from home-made chips to hors d'oeuvres (fancy and simply indulgent), to the smorgasbord of mass produced favorite snacks you raided from the corner bodega. But you were stumped when it came to tonight’s desserts. The bodega’s sweet treats were present, cheap candy and the like, but you were stuck between the roll of cookie dough and a box mix for cupcakes.

Stumped, you didn’t acknowledge the warm body that ghosted up behind you until a hand slid across your waist. “It’s girls’ night. What are you still doing here?” Sitting down the treats, you turned in Bucky’s arms and scratched your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He lightly kissed your forehead. “Needed a break from Tony. Can you blame me?”

“Not at all.”

You both inhaled deeply, cheek to cheek. The last mission had been a rough one. Most of the team had come back banged up. And you still had a nasty scrape of road burn up one leg. Which is why you were wearing the equivalent of biker shorts. Pepper had gotten them for you sometime after the social media trend of those leggings ladies liked to tease their S.O’s with. They were surprisingly supportive of your form. You usually wore them underneath your gear because they were borderline indecent. But, with one of Bucky’s oversized shirts covering your figure, nobody had commented.

Except for Bucky as he slid his hands down your body to rest over the curve of your ass.

“I thought these stayed out of sight?”

You teased a glance up at him. “Usually, yes. But It’s girls’ night. We all wear the equivalent of our pajamas since you boys will be out. You are all going out, right?”

He nodded. “Yes. Eventually.” But he didn’t move. He hugged you closer, brazenly tilting your head to one side with his nose so he could kiss the underside of your jaw.

“Y/L/N!” Natasha waved from the living room. “Are we ready to go, or what?”

A smile spread across your face. You lightly pushed Bucky away, making him whine. Natasha was already starting the voting poll for the evening’s movies when you turned back to the counter. “I’ve got to bake before the party starts. Do you have a preference for what sweets you’d like to be left over? Cookies or cupcakes?”

Bucky pressed up behind you, resting his large hands on the counter on either side of you, and griding his front into your ass. “Cookies. There’s enough cake in this kitchen already.” He slapped your ass, following with both his hands taking tight squeezes of your flesh.

As you gasped, he rushed out. The wink he shot you from the door warned you that the tease would not be the evening’s last.

Fifteen minutes later, the cookies were out, the movie was in, and everyone was settled into their favorite pile of pillows.

Five minutes into the movie, the texting started.

Lover Boy <3: “How’s the movie?”

You rolled your eyes as you turned your phone on silent. If Okoye heard your phone again, you’d never get it back. “We’re watching Magic Mike. So… It’s going well.” You added a smiley face with its tongue sticking out for good measure.

Bucky’s messages popped up every few minutes. You kept your phone screen towards you to see the notification light up your screen without bothering the other women.

Lover Boy <3: “Should I be jealous?”

You: “Nah. Their gyrating doesn’t do it for me.”

Lover Boy <3: “Good to know.”

Lover Boy <3: “Is there anything in the movie that does ‘do’ it for you?”

You smothered a chuckle into your blanket. Each passing second that you took to come up with a teasing reply was surly wreaking havoc on your man.

You: “Maybe. Who wants to know?”

His reply was slow in coming. When it did, you almost fumbled your phone into the floor.

Lover Boy <3: *image incoming*

The picture you received was of Bucky’s hand resting on the top of his thigh. They were out to dinner somewhere, the edge of the table blocking your photo view from the rest of the guys. In the curve between his forefinger and thumb, his bulge was the center of attention. You stuck a sucker in your mouth to cover up your gasp. But the other ladies were too busy hooting for the first dance scene to notice.

You: “Just him? I must be slipping. Especially since I thought you really liked my shorts earlier.”

Lover Boy <3: “I like those shorts because I like taking them off. Girls night got in the way.”

You: “You’ve got to come home sometime.”

Lover Boy <3: “Then what do you have in mind?”

You turned off the flash for your camera and waited for the TV screen to illuminate your face. Sucker holding down your tongue, you sneaked the pic. Before any of the girls could see and tease you. While it sent, you sucked on the round sugar treat. You imagined Bucky’s cockhead on your tongue, as you knew he would too. His reply came in seconds.

Lover Boy <3: “Minx”

You: “And?”

Lover Boy <3: “When I do get home, I’m going to taste something sweeter. All night long.”

Lover Boy <3: “If you can handle it.”

Biting your lip, you smiled into your blanket.

You: “We both know what I can handle. But can you handle what I want to do to you?”

You: “Bet I can blow you so good you forget how to speak Russian before morning.”

You: “Actually, bet I can make you forget all your languages.”

Lover Boy <3: “An official bet?”

Now it was dangerous territory. Neither of you would wager anything that would show in public. Or bring attention from the team inside the tower. But Bucky’s winnings had a steep cost on your ability to walk the next day. Yours usually meant him taking a few days off to spend time together in some distant cabin.

You: “Do we have time to disappear to the Rockies when I win?”

Lover Boy <3: “We just finished a mission. I’m sure I can convince Steve to leave us alone… at least for several nights in a row when I win.”

It was on.

He played dirty by escaping to the bathroom to shoot you a picture of his cock. It was already thick for you, proud and flushed in his palm.

You also escaped. But the picture you sent didn’t require you to take your clothes off. All you did was tug down the front of his borrowed shirt, and splay your fingers wide between your breasts.

You: “Can’t wait to squeeze you between these.”

Lover Boy <3: “9hey now…”

Good. His texting was already stumbling.

You: *picture incoming*

All you did was rest your hand over your throat. But Bucky’s reply of a bunch of scrambled letters made you laugh. You returned to the movie.

You: “Can’t wait for you to get home. But we’ve got about 3 more hours of movies to watch. Think you can last that long?”

Lover Boy <3: “If I have to. Might have to take care of myself before then.”

Wanda looked over as you squirmed in your seat.

You: “You can’t wait for me? I’ll wait for you.”

When the movie lit up enough, you took a picture of the pillow between your thighs.

Lover Boy <3: “Promise?”

You: “Say please.”

His reply, despite the distance between text and actually hearing his voice, dripped with promise. You bit your lip, hearing his growl in your head.

Lover Boy <3: “Since when do get to make the demands around here?”

Lover Boy <3: “Please.”

You: “Since I’m home. Away from the consequences of mouthing off at you till later.”

Lover Boy <3: “You’re not sharing this conversation with the ladies are you? You’re not usually this… sassy.”

You: “This sass is rated E for everyone. But, no. This conversation is just between us.”

You: “I have to stop texting. Natasha is beginning to notice.”

Lover Boy <3: “Until I get my hands on you:”

It was several minutes until you checked your phone, waiting for the others to drop their questioning looks. When you did, you had to smother your moan. He sent one last picture of his tongue out between his fingers. A promise of delectable problems to come.

***

Somebody texted the guys when the movies were almost over. They arrived halfway through you girls cleaning up.

“How was the double feature?” Tony asked. He snagged a remaining hors d'oeuvres off the tray before Maria could stick it in the fridge.

You didn’t hear the reply. All you could focus on was how lust-blown Bucky’s eyes were as he stared you down from the other side of the room. You pressed your thighs together. If the way your chest heaved was any indication, you were in for a long night. Steve barely gave you a glance when you walked past him. Bucky gliding past made him give your departure a second look.

The hallway to your room was dark. The lights that illuminated the floor wouldn’t engage fully unless there was an emergency. Which meant that your shadow was faded against the wall. And it was fractured into several clusters of shadows at reach installation. You didn’t look back. It was part of the game. You couldn’t hear him, but sometimes you could have sworn your shadows had an extra layer.

When you reached for your door handle, another hand beat you to it. Bucky pressed up behind you, pushing you into the room and pinning you to the inside of the door as he locked it. He slid his knee between your legs. Fascinated, he enjoyed the show as you slid the apex of your thighs across the muscle he gave you. He stopped your movements with a hand on your hip, while the other lifted your wrists above your head.

“Did you actually wait, or was that a tease?” He reached into your shorts, groaning to find your slick there. While you trembled, he loudly sucked his middle finger into his mouth. “Oh, ангел, I am going to ruin you. For teasing me like you did.”

“You – you started it. Technically.”

He brought one of your hands down to rest over the front of his pants. “Maybe. But you laid down the gauntlet. How do you want to do this?”

With a grin, you wriggled out of his grasp. You walked backwards towards your bed. Bucky stalked slowly after you. Turning, you ran your hands down your sides, to your hips. And back to the curve of your ass. “Cake?” You smoothed your hands up from your rear to your breasts. “Or cookies?”

Bucky groaned. “The whole damn bakery if I can get my hands on it.” He guided you onto the bed, crawling over you in a way that stole your breath. When you tried to roll him onto his back to begin the challenge, he chuckled. “Nuh-uh. Challenger goes second.”

“But-“

He silenced you with a kiss. As he deepened it, hands kneading into your flesh and removing your clothes, your rebuttal died on your tongue. He barely pulled back enough to remove his own clothes. It wasn’t long before he was working his mouth down your body, kissing and sucking and nipping at your skin until he made it to your sex.

Sometimes part of the challenge included a timer. Like that one gala when he dared you steal away with him during Tony’s speech, and cum before the ending round of applause. With his head buried under your dress, he won with enough time to participate in the applause for a speech you didn’t give a damn about. You didn’t find out till later that Steve had kept track of when you two disappeared and reappeared. Bucky wrote the time on your bathroom mirror as the time to beat. It had yet to be broken.

Tonight wasn’t one of those times. There was all the time in the world. All night to edge or overstimulate each other to your hearts’ content.

Breathing warm air over your sex, his grin between your thighs sent a ripple of goosebumps over your skin. You weren’t sure which was more disarming: his knowledge of your body and its sweet spots that he could make you cum in minutes, or that same knowledge used to bliss you out over hours till you couldn’t remember more than screaming his name. With his tongue, he began the challenge. As if you weren’t soaked already, he made a mess of you. Curling his fingers through your folds. Delving his tongue deep in search of the ability to taste you for days. When he scraped his teeth across your clit, the electricity tightened your fingers in his hair.

He wasn’t drawing this out. A man on a mission, Bucky was doing everything he could to bring you to the brink as fast as he could. The speed that you hurtled toward release stole your breath. That was his plan. Shock you while trying to beat his time so that you wouldn’t be able to speak. And then he’d win double the bragging rights.

And, damn him, it might just work.

Hungrily, he slurped up your pleasure. Adding a third finger to his onslaught, he curled them all to make you see stars. His metal arm flashed out to pin down your hips before you could arch away from him. The metal was cold, frigid, against your flushed skin. The difference in temperature was enough of an overload to your sparkling nerves that your eyes screwed shut. You babbled a series of sounds, making Bucky hum in delight.

But when he came up for air, gently stroking your folds to ease you down, you surprised him.

“Is that all you got, Barnes?”

“Fuck. Seriously?” He rested his cheek against the inside of your thigh.

You did your best to steady your breath. No point in revealing those six words were all you could manage. After another moment, you curled your own finger. You summoned him to hover over you, dangling his dog-tags in your face. Catching one between your teeth, you gripped and pushed his shoulders until he was on his back.

It was your turn to kiss down his body. Across his collar bone and pecs. Down that center chasm between his abs. From one hip bone, down his V, and up to the other side. As you took his length in hand, you had to smile. The poor man should have let you pleasure him first, instead of torturing himself and his cock with waiting. Gently, you circled your thumb around his tip. It dragged a groan out between his teeth. Good. The more vocal he was, the better you could track his ability to speak. Or lack thereof.

You set the challenge into the back of your mind and got to work in pleasing your man.

The first movements were gentle. And careful around how sensitive he was. Still, each touch and twist kept his voice active. He tried to watch you, but kept dropping his head back in pleasure as you quickened your movements. While he was laid back, you shifted your position.

His head snapped up, and he cursed loudly in Russian as his cock was enveloped between your breasts.

Darting out your tongue, you kitten licked the tip of his cock when it came into range. It gave you no small pleasure to watch your man, the Winter Soldier and former Commando, fall to pieces because of you. He cursed louder in English, Russian, and… was that German? But the more you jerked him between your breasts, the more his vocabulary scrambled together. You waited patiently. His metal hand twitched towards to before fisting the sheet. His flesh hand reached back for the pillows, sheets, headboard. Anything to ground himself. Then you struck. You let go of your breasts and dipped low enough to swallow him down. He roared as he bumped the back of your throat. Planting his feet on the bed, his thighs trembled with keeping himself from thrusting into your mouth.

That was fine. You moved enough for the both of you. And, just as his Russian was little more than the most strained of curses, you settled his balls into one hand, and slid the other up his torso. Your nails lightly caught his skin over his heaving breaths.

The high-pitched hiss from the depths of his lungs was your only warning before he filled your mouth.

Your ministrations slowed. You took every ounce of his pleasure, and smiled around his cock as you sucked your way off his length.

He dragged you up to bury his face in the crook of your neck. His lips trembled while trying to say something. Anything. But all he could do was pant into your skin.

You smiled. And kissed the underside of his jaw. While you both recovered, you murmured gentle reassurances between breaths.

“You cheated,” he finally managed.

“Oh? When did I manage that?”

Running his fingers through his hair, he stared you down. “Those damn shorts.”

With a laugh, you nipped at his chest. “What? You did get to take them off, like you wanted. And I can’t help it if you decided to run your hands all over me and get yourself hard. It jazzed me up too. So, in my mind, we’re even.”

“Fine.” He tilted up your face to kiss you. Mumbling against your lips, he complained, “you’re using alotta words there, ангел.”

“And you’re still capable of Russian.”

Bucky grinned. “Then I guess this challenge isn’t done.”

And it wasn’t until long into the night.

***

Ангел: angel

***

Masterlist

Marvel Masterlist

#bucky barnes x reader #curvy!reader #bucky barnes smut #avengers smut #marvel smut #bucky barnes fluff #reader insert #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x female reader

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scariusaquarius · 3 months ago

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rehab. 6.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

A/n: Probably from now on, there is going to be some graphic and dark content ahead. Please read carefully and curate your online experience. BTW, you can read it here on my archive account as well!

This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

Author: ScariusAquarius

rehab masterlist. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5

The soldier was aware that she could not move. Their sense of smell came back first, the smell of flowers and fresh air and food making it easier to grasp onto consciousness. Then, the soldier's hearing came back , the uncomfortable feeling of frost melting and draining from her ears and nose making her thawing muscles shiver.

The sensation of feeling came next: the cryostasis pod bed pads sticking to her skin uncomfortably. Then, heat began to crawl over her like a blanket, and the soldier's eyes slowly opened.

Her vision was blurry, struggling to focus, and she was aware of the woman that had sedated her before being put into cryostasis was speaking to the Fist of HYDRA.

"I was able to finally break through the firewalls in a way that wouldn't trip up HYDRA's algorithm to throw up another block. I don't know how long it will last before the system resets itself, but hopefully...our soldier is not just a soldier anymore."

Confusion swept through the soldier, a feeling of being exposed running through her, and the Fist of HYDRA's voice broke through the brain fog, asking the woman.

"Should we have Okoye present just in case?"

"I am confident that we do not need anybody else present. It runs the risk of causing the soldier emotion duress, which could ruin what we are doing."

The lights around the soldier dimmed as her vision focused suddenly, and she could feel nausea gripping at her stomach. Trying to move made it worse, and the soldier couldn't keep herself from retching and dry heaving as she bent over, falling to the floor.

Hands came to rest upon her shoulder gently, but the soldier flinched, tears pricking her eyes as her stomach constricted painfully once more.

She smacked her hand out, blindly attacking as she retched again, and the uncomfortable feeling of bile rising from her throat made her cough and spat it out onto the ground. The woman cursed in a language the soldier did not understand, and the Fist of HYDRA hummed.

"I'll clean it up. Vertigo and nausea is common, and I doubt she's eaten at all before she went under when we found her."

Her mouth was salivating at the scent of the food across the room, but she kept her mouth closed. She was not permitted to eat unless she was given permission.

Her head was in shambles; flashes of images and people and faces and unpleasant thoughts coming at her so quickly that she could not understand what was happening. The soldier felt afraid for a moment before her programming kicked in, and her physical body became emotionless.

It was almost like a switch; a defense mechanism of her programming that forced her to obey during these moments of resilience and cognitive independence, and though nobody was attacking her for being incompetent or shoving her face down into her own vomit like a dog, the soldier still felt the need to be punished.

Even though it felt wrong.

The thought confused her as she shakily kept herself propped up on her hands and knees, and when the Fist of HYDRA stepped before her, his boots within her vision and making her strength waver, the soldier bowed her head and smacked her face into the vomit below her.

The Fist of HYDRA did not make a sound, and the soldier did not dare to breathe as the vile stench invaded her nostrils and burned her eyes. The female scientist was perturbed, asking the Fist.

"What on earth is she doing?"

It took the Fist a moment to respond, and his tone of voice was angry, making the soldier press down into the disgusting mess on the floor further as she began to believe she had made him angry.

"Punishing herself. They didn't take it kindly when we would show weakness, even after thawing from cryostasis...they probably got harsher with their punishments after I left."

Left? The Fist of HYDRA left? How could he have left?

There is no escape. HYDRA is your home. You were born here, you will live here, and you will die here. Do you understand, soldat?

"Вставать."

Shakily, the soldier attempted to stand up, her legs uneasy as she did so, and she swallowed thickly; jaw clenching as she stared down at the ground before her, and she flinched when the Fist brought his hand up to her face.

He paused for a moment, and the soldier began to spiral mentally. She was a failure. She was weak. Vile; disgusting; an abomination.

Flaws detected. Reprogramming required.

"Я собираюсь очистить твое лицо. Не шевелись."

Her body immediately stiffened, and a warm damp cloth touched her cheek. The Fist of HYDRA was gentle with his movements, pressing down firmly to properly clean her face of the vomit. His blue eyes were on her, stern and cautious, but the soldier did not look into his eyes.

She was already in trouble for being weak. Why make it harder for herself? When the Fist was done, he gestured to her with a tilt of his head to follow him to a desk where a plate of food was waiting.

"Иди сюда и поешь."

She was hesitant. Was it a trap? A trick question? The Fist hadn't given her permission to do so. The man was quiet before he sighed and pointed to the chair, his voice becoming stern.

"садиться."

She walked to the chair and sat down, the food in front of her making her mouth salivate while her stomach churned again, and the Fist of HYDRA gestured to the food once more.

The soldier bit her tongue, staring down at the steaming meat and vegetables doused in a delicious-smelling brown sauce, and she felt her stomach constrict.

A good soldier does not require food to function. You will do what it takes to complete your mission, and that is all.

She was not allowed to eat this food, so why was the Fist of HYDRA trying to make her?

"Есть."

Was is laced with drugs like it had been last time? The soldier squinted in confusion at her peculiar thought, and glanced up at the Fist with an apprehensive look. The soldier watched as the Fist of HYDRA sighed and dipped his finger into the sauce and slipped it into his mouth.

"Есть безопасно, солдат."

She could not tear her eyes away from the Fist of HYDRA, however.

Not when the ghastly face of her Handler was peeking over his shoulder at her.

Her body froze, panic and fear running through her, and she shot up from the table as the lights around her went out. What was happening? What was going on? Was this another training sequence?

The smell of food was replaced with the smell of rotting flesh, lights shining throughout the dark void on piles of rotting bodies. There were torn torso's, amputated limbs, crushed skulls and heads, and there were cockroaches and bugs crawling throughout the piles; disappearing beneath entrails and ripped flesh and fat as the mountains of dead bodies became bigger.

Disembodied voices were shouting around her, screaming and sobbing and crying for help, and the soldier was shocked to find that it was her that was screaming.

She was malfunctioning. There was a flaw in her system. Something was wrong. Why was she seeing this? The soldier clutched her head as pain began to bloom within it; pressure building and building and becoming so unbearable that she could not even scream anymore.

There were bugs crawling all over her; centipedes and roaches and other vermin climbing over her body and up into her nose and mouth and ears, and she could see herself in a mirror as her body began to undulate and burst from the sheer volume of vermin going into her mouth.

The soldier gasped suddenly, breaking through her bindings that kept her strapped to the table and jumping up. There were countless spears pointing at her, and the soldier, just as she had done in her nightmare, fell to the floor and retched.

She was puking over-and-over, bile and blood mixing into a wretched mess on the floor, and she became afraid when the Fist of HYDRA slowly walked to her. She scrambled back, smacking her skull into the wall, and she was hyperventilating. Why couldn't she calm down?

Flaws detected. Reprogramming required.

Her chest was tight, oxygen hard to breathe in, and she was aware that her face was wet with vomit and water. There were voices all around her, reverbing within her head, and the soldier retched painfully again.

"What is happening?"

The soldier recognized the voice to be coming from the man that looked a lot like the female scientist, his eyes concerned as he slowly relaxed out of the fighting stance he had taken. The Fist of HYDRA explained gently as he knelt on the floor in front of the soldier.

"Shuri said she was beginning to hallucinate due to the stress she was experiencing...possibly a psychotic break. We tried to get her to eat, but she wouldn't do so. She just...kind of freaked out."

Shuri hummed, explaining further.

"I believe what she was experiencing was a very severe hallucination induced by her PTSD. Given the amount of stress that she presented when we offered her food, it is very possible that one of the methods of torture was with hunger."

The soldier was listening yet ignoring the woman all at the same time. Slowly, her breathing was starting to calm, but she wasn't sure if she should open her eyes. Would she see her Handler again? Would he be upset that she was displaying such vile weakness?

За каждую твою ошибку сломаются две кости.

Her stomach was constricting again, and the vile stench of her vomit was invading her nostrils. The soldier curled up into the wall more when the Fist of HYDRA came closer, and his voice was calm.

"Я не собираюсь причинять тебе боль. Меня зовут James."

The soldier trembled slightly before she flicked her gaze over to the Fist of HYDRA. There was a feeling of confusion and intrigue that had her brow furrowing, and she was tempted to speak despite not being given permission.

"Нет."

Her voice was hoarse, and the Fist was surprised slightly as she responded before his face hardened the more she spoke.

"Ты Кулак ГИДРЫ. Ты моя миссия."

She swiped her fist at him, but the Fist of HYDRA anticipated it, catching her fist and keeping a painful grip on it. The plates within his metal arm shifted and slid together in tight recession, and his brow was furrowed harshly.

The soldier did not anticipate how weak her body had become, her hand immediately giving, and she became light-headed as the Fist of HYDRA immediately commanded.

"Не борись со мной. Я не хочу причинять тебе боль."

But that was what they all said. The memories of her previous Handler, the Enforcers, the Scientists...they always said they wouldn't hurt her to make her trust them; to make her compliant. They were like lions, circling around her and waiting until her lame leg would hold her back, and then they would pounce.

Tearing their teeth into her skin, ripping her body apart, gulping her entrails and blood until she was hollow. The soldier squeezed her eyes shut, and for a moment, there was silence. Suddenly, the female scientist said as she stepped forward.

"You do not have to have permission to speak. You are no longer with HYDRA, but here with us in Wakanda. We are not your Handlers...we are your friends. We do not wish to engage in combat or to hurt you like those vile people have."

The Fist of HYDRA glanced back at the woman before looking back at the soldier, and the woman was unsure. She could feel the need to obey, the orders within her mind repeating over and over, and her body was feeling sluggish; attempting to comply.

The Fist of HYDRA was still holding her fist within his hand, and she stared at their connected hands. The Fist carefully placed his other hand over her wrist, his flesh feeling warm against her chilled skin, and the soldier widened her eyes.

"Что для вас значит Мельцер Вудс?"

Meltzer Woods. The soldier squinted slightly, the memories of the dream she had coming to her mind, and she tensed when the female scientist began to slowly approach her. The woman standing beside her hissed, attempting to stop her as the scientist approached.

"Shuri, what are you doing?!"

The woman, Shuri, knelt down beside the Fist, her eyes kind as she asked softly.

"Will you allow me to help you, Soldat?"

The soldier's eyes fluttered slightly, the need to follow orders enticing her compliance, and Shuri grabbed a cloth from a bowl of water and wrung it out before beginning to gently clean the vomit and bile that was coating her bottom jaw and dripping down her neck. The Fist still kept a firm hold of her, but the soldier noticed that he was not as aggressive as he had been before.

The soldier did not understand kindness.

As the woman gently cleaned her off, the soldier was becoming more uncomfortable. The only time that she was cleaned in such a way was when the scientists were doing tests; poking and prodding at her in ways that the soldier knew made her uncomfortable.

"See? That was not so hard. Please allow us to help you, Soldat."

The soldier couldn't help the irritation that stemmed from her anxiety, could not keep herself from lashing out as she hissed, baring her teeth.

"Миссия должна быть завершена. Неудача – это не вариант. Непослушание недопустимо."

You must only complete the mission. Failure will not be tolerated, and if you disobey, there will be dire consequences.

Shuri then hummed and asked, making the Fist shoot his gaze to her with wide eyes.

"Then allow me to help you complete your mission."

"Shuri, what the hell are you doing?"

The Fist's voice was uncertain, accusatory as he looked at her with a shocked look within his eyes, and Shuri glanced at him; giving him an exasperated look before looking back to the soldier. The soldier frowned deeply, hissing out.

"Вы лжете."

The woman chuckled, tilting her head slightly.

"Then I guess you just have to trust me."

Trust was not a normal feeling the soldier felt. In fact, the soldier couldn't recall a time where trust was ever present. There was no such thing as trust in the soldier's mind, and that's what HYDRA had instilled into her since the beginning.

Trust nobody but HYDRA. HYDRA is your family. We know what is best for you.

But if she could make these people trust her...perhaps, it would be easier to complete her mission. If following their orders allowed her to complete her own...she would use it to her advantage. She would listen. The soldier tugged her hand out of the Fist's grasp before she muttered, staring at nothing as she spoke.

“я готов отвечать."

STORY NOTES: The Soldier is awakened from cryostasis. While the soldier is trying to orient themselves, Shuri tells Bucky that she was able to breakthrough the firewalls and place a block in place to keep HYDRA's algorithm from activating the soldier. Due to the effects of thawing from cryostasis, the soldier becomes sick and begins to vomit on the floor.

The soldier then notices the scent of food and begins to salivate, hunger forcing her stomach to constrict again. The soldier reminds herself that she is not permitted to eat unless given strict permission. Because she has been conditioned to believe that showing weakness (including hunger) warrants punishment, the soldier shoves her face into the vomit despite not being prompted to do so.

Bucky elaborates on that fact when Shuri questions what the soldier is doing, and he carefully cleans the soldier's face off before gesturing for the soldier to eat. However, the soldier is unwilling to do so even when Bucky shows her that the food is completely safe to eat.

Because of the stress and sickness that has plagued the soldier, she begins to hallucinate. Gruesome images of mountains of dead bodies crawling with bugs make the soldier sick again, and she hallucinates further that the bugs are crawling into her mouth.

The next moment the soldier is awake, she is able to break through bindings that keep her onto a table and forces herself into a corner. Again, the soldier becomes sick, this time vomiting straight bile and blood from the stress her body is being put through. T'Challa is concerned and asks what is happening, and both Bucky and Shuri explain that they believe the soldier experienced a hallucination and possibly a psychotic break.

Bucky tries to make contact by introducing himself to the soldier, in which the soldier finally speaks and tells him that his introduction is wrong. She instead tells him that he is her mission, and the soldier attempts to fight him. However, due to the length of time she has gone without eating and from thawing, her body is too weak and Bucky counters easily.

Shuri then steps forward and asks the soldier to allow her to help, cleaning her face of the vomit as Bucky had done before while Bucky keeps the soldier's wrists in his grasp. However, the soldier is unable to comprehend the princess' kindness, and instead tells her that her mission is the only thing that matters and failure is not an option.

In order to make the soldier trust her, Shuri then bluffs by saying that she would help the soldier complete her mission. The soldier does not believe Shuri, and when she comments that Shuri is lying, Shuri jokes by saying the soldier would have to trust her. Taking this as an opportunity to continue her mission, the soldier makes a decision to manipulate the people into thinking that she would accept their help. End scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

Вставать - Get up/stand

Я собираюсь очистить твое лицо. Не шевелись - I'm going to clean your face. Do not move.

Иди сюда и поешь. - Come here and eat.

садиться - sit down

Есть - Eat.

Есть безопасно, солдат - It's safe to eat, soldier.

За каждую твою ошибку сломаются две кости - For every mistake you make, two bones will break.

Я не собираюсь причинять тебе боль. Меня зовут James. - I am not going to hurt you. My name is James.

Нет - No.

Ты Кулак ГИДРЫ - You are the Fist of HYDRA.

Ты моя миссия. - You are my mission.

Не борись со мной. Я не хочу причинять тебе боль - Don't fight me. I don't wish to hurt you.

Что для вас значит Мельцер Вудс? - What does Meltzer Woods mean to you?

Миссия должна быть завершена. Неудача – это не вариант. Непослушание недопустимо. - The mission must be completed. Failure is not an option. Disobedience is unacceptable.

Вы лжете - You are lying.

я готов отвечать - Ready to comply/I'm ready to answer

TAGLIST: @mgchaser @tilldeathripsusapart @vicmc624 @aash3

#bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #the winter soldier #winter soldier #marvel #marvel x reader #captain america #captain america x reader

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braveclementine · 10 months ago

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Chapter 25

Warnings: 18+readersonly, oral sex, smut, pet names, King kink

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

It had been about two weeks since you had gotten back from the Bahamas. That place had seemed like a dream and a second life. Now, everyone was back in the tower- or traveling between the tower and their countries they governed.

T'Challa and you were privately planning a quiet Wakandan ceremony to officially make you the Queen of Wakanda. Every time you talked about the conversation, you wanted to throw up. The idea of becoming a Queen of a country you didn't belong to was uncomfortable to you. You weren't even sure the people there would appreciate you.

Meanwhile, Thor was working his 'God of Fertility' magic, so that though you were having sex with everyone you were soulmated to, hopefully only T'Challa would take root so that he had an heir to the throne. Which, naturally, sped up T'Challa's want for the ceremony.

Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia were also helping plan this ceremony and you mostly took a backseat, really only inputting what you wanted if it came to a certain colour of the plates or flowers.

You weren't allowed to choose the style of your dress either, but you could at least choose the colour. You just told them to match you to T'Challa because you really didn't want to show up in a colour that would clash with his.

In the meantime, you were also trying out a lot of your traits like the archery and using the flexibility to train. Now that you had mechanical knowledge, Tony was even more excited when you came down to the lab because then you could help him with his projects. Not to mention your photographic memory from Stephen- although now you understood why he couldn't be around the Avengers for more than a few hours at the most.

Y/S/N and you hadn't really had a chance to talk yet between everything about your father's death.

Tony had arranged it so that it was a week after you guys had gotten home from the Bahamas. He had everything planned and neither of you had to lift a finger or push over a penny (although apparently now all of Tony's money was yours so-).

But between recovering a week, the funeral, and now planning for a Wakandan marriage ceremony, you had barely been able to even see her, much less talk to her.

Elizabeth had been sending you update texts. Pietro, who had never lived in the tower anyways, had moved down to Ohio along with Hogun. The two of them shared an apartment that was near Elizabeth's house so that they could continue to court her as she finished up her last year of High School. Pietro however, did come back every weekend so that he could spend time with Jessie and Katherine too.

Vision and Wanda were preparing to go down and see her as well, but both of them were unsure of whether they would stay like the other two or not.

Oh! And Heimdall was down there as well- though only for a few weeks- as he was courting Katerina from gymnastics as well. Apparently they met at the wedding and they found out they were soulmates. Neither of them had any other soulmates so that was kind've cute.

After another week, everything was set. You and T'Challa were the first to arrive in Wakanda. You had gaped, looking out the window, seeing everything that they had built. Everything just looked so intricate, advanced, and beautiful.

"I think you'd like to see where Bucky lived after the Avengers disassembled for a little bit." T'Challa's voice was soft next to your ear.

You nodded and then said, "This place is beautiful T."

T'Challa kissed the back of your ear. "Are you nervous my Nkosazana?"

"A little bit. I don't think your people will like me very much." You admitted. "I mean, from what I know, you have very ancient customs and I. . . I'm not." You gave a laugh. "I mean, you're marrying an outsider."

"We can't help where our soulmates live." T'Challa said simply. "And I wouldn't trade you for any of 'em."

You blushed, turning away from the window so that you could snuggle into T'Challa's side until the quinjet landed.

Shuri, Okoye, and T'Challa's mother, Queen Ramonda, was waiting for us along with another set of the dora milaje were waiting on either side.

You quickly hooked your arm around T'Challa's around the two of you walked down the Quinjet ramp to meet them. Shuri was waiting there in a T-shirt, a pair of long pants, a belt wrapped around the both at the same time. Her hair was tied up in space buns, a choker around her neck.

"Y/N!" She squealed, darting forward to throw her arms around you. You could feel yourself relaxing and smiling as you hugged her back.

Queen Ramonda smiled. She was absolutely stunning, wearing some formal white dress and headdress that you wished you knew the name to.

It was also the first time you had seen Okoye in her full red and silver uniform, her spear in hand. She looked on stoically as though you didn't know each other. But she also looked at T'Challa like that, so it was probably just a thing.

"Welcome to Wakanda Princess Y/N." Queen Ramonda said, setting forward to take your hand.

"Thank you Queen Ramonda." You said awkwardly, hoping beyond hope that you were actually allowed to call her that.

T'Challa smiled, hugging his mother. "Come, let us go inside."

He took you inside, Shuri, and his mother following- which didn't feel right. Then you remembered that she wouldn't even be the Queen anymore since you were married to T'Challa. After the ceremony you would be the Queen of Wakanda.

You nearly threw up right then and there.

T'Challa sensed your nerves, moving his arm from yours, to hook it around your waist, pulling you close to his side, kissing the top of your head, "It's going to be fine, even fun, you'll see my Nkosazana."

You nodded. His voice was alluring and you were sure that everything was going to be alright. There was just a small nagging feeling that you couldn't shake. Although you weren't sure what that nagging thing was.

T'Challa showed you around the entire palace, including Shuri's lab. He showed you the specially designed cryo tank that Bucky had been in until Shuri had managed to fix him, getting rid of his trigger words.

After that, T'Challa led you up to the main wing where Dora Milaje lined the hallways and also where the royal bedrooms were.

He opened up the door, letting the both of you into his room.

You looked around in interest. On your left where you entered, there were several tribal decorations as the wall curved. When the wall flattened out to be straight, there were two bookcases in the wall on either side of the two doors, one of which led to the closet and one that led to the bathroom, before the wall curved again and there were more tribal decorations there as well.

The bed was directly across from the room, white sheets and two pillows propped up against the headboard. It was square shaped and lower to the floor than you would have expected.

In the middle of the room, there was some sort of funnel there where four seats sat underneath it.

"It's the hologram table." T'Challa said, noticing you peering at it curiously. He gave a little laugh, "Because even in sleep a King is never not working."

You nodded, looking at the doors that led out onto a large balcony that overlooked the all of Wakanda. They weren't glass or had any curtains to pull out over them. Instead, they seemed to be woven of metal, small slots between them so that when they were pulled closed, decorative patterns would break out on the floor.

Yellow lights hung everywhere, circular in shape, hanging by metal wire of the same colour.

"I like it." You said, turning to T'Challa with a grin. "It's different and it's very you."

T'Challa checked the one and only clock in the room, "Hmm, we have time before dinner." He picked you up in his arms, bridal style, carrying you over the threshold. "You'll have to let Captain Rogers know about that one."

You giggled at T'Challa's playfulness as he brought you over to the bed, laying you down on it carefully before crawling over you. You kissed him excitedly. "Are we trying out the bed my King?"

He chuckled under his breath, making shivers go down your spine. "Indeed we are Nkosazana." He captured your lips in his again, as his hands slipped down to the hem of the dress you had decided to wear to meet his mother and sister in.

He pulled it upwards, letting you sit up a moment so that you could toss the dress over the side of the bed.

T'Challa pinned your hands lightly above your head with one hand, slowly and sensually kissing up your body. You could feel every spot that his lips lingered. You closed your eyes, lips parted slightly as you felt him press another low kiss right above your belly button.

You flickered your eyes open again as you felt his fingers undo the clasp of your bra, pulling it from your body to join the dress on the floor.

You let out a tiny mewl as his lips wrapped around your nipple. You rubbed your thighs together, wishing that you could get some sort of friction from him. But you also knew that T'Challa was not one to tease either.

"Patience Nkosazana," He murmured, teeth grazing over your now erect nipple, moving over to the other.

Your chest heaved as he finished with your breasts, before moving up to kiss you again. You smiled up at him as he pulled back. He grinned down at you before he pulled your knickers down your legs, tossing them behind him.

He hooked your legs over his shoulders, releasing the hold on your hands as he buried himself in your weeping pussy.

"T!" You gasped, moaning at the feeling of his cool tongue against your hot core, licking you, tasting you. "Oh fuck!"

You could feel his smile, his cheeks growing a little as his smile widened. His hands were firm around your thighs to hold you still. Your hands were gripping the pillow by your head as your orgasm started to build up inside of you. "T I'm gonna-"

"Go ahead my Nkosazana." T'Challa murmured against your lower lips, vibrations pushing you over the cliff, the waterfall dripping down, T'Challa licking up every drop you gave him.

He slowly lowered your legs from his shoulders as you came down from the slight high. He stroked himself a few times before he moved his tip through your wet folds, collecting your slick, before pushing in.

You both moaned at the lovely feeling. Your arms came up, sliding your hands behind the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss as he started to move through you. His hands came down, fingers sliding smoothly down your shoulders as he caressed you tenderly.

Your breaths came out in quick pants as he sped up a little, both of your foreheads together sweetly as he made love to you. "T. . ." You whimpered as the next orgasm came upon you. He sighed in content, "Y/N."

After you both collapsed on the bed, he pulled out of you before heading off to the bathroom to grab a wet washcloth, taking care of you.

"Now then." He said, once you both dressed in fresh, new clothes. "I think we should go downstairs and grace the citizens with our presence, shall we?"

You giggled. You were much more relaxed now that you had spent some time here, "We shall, my King."

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pilesofpillows · 2 years ago

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Your honor, they ain’t perfect but they’re perfect for each other!!

SOULMATES, I Say…

» Attoye Daily Prompt Drabbles || Master List «

For two people whose first point of contact had resulted in the exchange of physical blows, Okoye and Attuma got along remarkably well—once their nations officially made peace, that is. In their eyes, the transition from cutthroat enemies to begrudging allies then genuine friends to tender lovers had felt natural, with very few bumps in the road. To those around them, the changes had been unexpected, no one having imagined that the former General of the Dora Milaje would ever be on amicable, let alone romantic, terms with one of the Talokanil responsible for her disgraceful demotion. However, seeing how they were together—both softening from the hard, militant personas to display the playful and affectionate people underneath—it made sense.

On this morning, though, that sweet and considerate couple was far from sight, both at wits’ end. Having recently moved in together, they—Okoye, in particular—were finding the change of their own separate spaces converging into one much more difficult than that of the progression their relationship had made.

Keep reading

#have I mentioned how much I love these #Jules is really giving us daily doses of crack #i am fiend #addicted and unashamed #okoye x attuma #attuma x okoye #tvreadsandsleep #okoye x attuma fanfiction

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glittercake · 7 months ago

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For Samtember Day 3: 'Costume' @samsseptember

“How long’s this going to take? Let me speak to Ayo.”

On his end of the line, Sam snorts, then does a quick scan of the workshop to see which Wakandan saw him smiling at his boyfriend this time. Okoye had already drawn an incredibly immature picture of Sam and Bucky and pinned it to the notice board in the palace foyer.

“Ayo doesn’t want to speak to you,” Sam says. He rotates his arm along with the hologram. It beeps a few times and records his biceps measurement, then moves to his chest. “Besides, it’s nice here. I ain’t in a rush.”

Bucky groans. Sam laughs again. “Yeah, you’re not. I’m dying over here.”

“Because you gotta work with Torres? Grow up, Buck.”

“He’s alright. No, I’m—”

“Before you say that, remember you’re calling on Wakandan tech, and if Aneka calls me Captain Lovey Pants one more time, I’m breaking up with you.”

This time, instead of complaining, Bucky cackles. It goes on for a few seconds. And yeah, Sam’s smiling again, all to himself.

“Stop,” he says fondly, listens to Bucky laughing on the other end. So maybe he lied. Maybe he could rush a little to get home. Maybe he misses this idiot just a little. Maybe he wouldn’t mind if they tossed this new suit through a speed cycle and threw him on a jet back home tonight.

“If you laugh, Captain, your chest expands and corrupts the reading,” Lerato tells him when she restarts the measurement. Again.

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry ma’am.” Sam holds still, bites back a laugh. “You’re getting me in trouble, man. I gotta go.”

“Yeah, alright. Gotta get started on my dinner for one, anyway.”

“You’ll be fine, baby. I’ll send an update later.”

“Later, sweetheart.”

“Cheers, Buck.”

“Finally. My ears can not stand another second of that.” Ayo has come to check on the suit’s progress and gives Sam a sideways look.

Sam sighs. “Of course you heard.”

“It’s custom here to give the new leaders as much grief as possible—this is looking good. Any requests? James sent a list, but it went missing. Strange, hm?” A smirk plays around her mouth.

Sam smiles. Bucky is still very much banned from Wakanda despite his letter of apology. “Yeah, if it’s anything like his shopping lists, that’s a good thing. Uh. Just one request, really.”

Ayo fiddles with the inputs and projections and slides a few specs around. “I can not turn Redwing into an actual bird, Samuel. We talked about this.”

“That’s what you claim, yeah, and I’m gonna keep asking, but no, not that.”

She gives him a suspicious look. Probably because whatever is upgradable on this suit has been upgraded, it even has an unimaginable amount of secret pockets and he won’t admit it out loud but he’s using those for lube and condoms and gum and there is nothing the Kingdom of Wakanda can do about it.

“Alright, the suit’s a little loose in the back. That’s all.”

“In the back? Samuweli, uthetha ngantoni?”

“You know. Part of this gig is the image. I gotta look good.” He motions vaguely to his ass. “This just needs to be a little… tighter.”

Ayo stares at him, then blinks. “That old man has got you good, doesn’t he?”

“Hey, I see how you look at Aneka. Yesterday she mentioned peaches and what did you do last night—” Ayo groans, rolls her eyes. “—no, tell me what you did last night!”

Her mouth twitches, but she schools her expression, points at him. “Wena. You are on thin ice.”

“You baked her a whole peach pie, that’s what. You feel me?”

“She likes pie,” Ayo says with a soft little sparkle behind her eyes, regarding Sam for a moment before returning to the monitors. “Fine. Tighter in the back.” She fiddles with two of the measurements on the suit hologram, then presses Enter.

Sam gives her his best grin when the machine circles down to his hips. “Thanks. I owe you.”

Ayo gathers her spear and clipboard. “We are hosting a few Ghanaian warriors tomorrow night. They would love to meet you. Wear the new suit.”

“I’ll be there.”

“I guess ‘Captain Lovey Pants’ has a whole new meaning now, eh?” Sam groans, and Ayo throws her head back and laughs and then some on her way out of the workshop.

The scanner zips into motion, and within seconds, the material tightens around his glutes, squeezing.

“Uh, Lerato! Ayo? Not this tight!”

“Hm,” Lerato says, titling her head and peeking around at Sam’s behind, smiles then shrugs. “I don’t see the problem, Captain. Didn’t you say it’s all about the image?”

“Ugh, I did.” Sam regrets everything. These folks are relentless.

“Well,” Lerato says, a sneaky, mischievous look in her eyes. “This is quite the image.”

#samtember2024 #ficlets

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adrixivy · 3 months ago

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So I saw a comment in this post. Someone wanted to know what attitude Peter is giving after the mission. You ask and I shall deliver‼️

So I said he went loco after waking up. He really did. He knows he can’t skip the debrief because Fury is gonna be a little bitch about it and he doesn’t want to go through that hassle so he walks straight to the meeting table, ignoring everyone’s look or question of concern. Maybe a little nod to Natasha’s look of concern is the most he will acknowledge. Anyone else? Attitude is served with small witty remarks leaving them stunned.

For example!

Tony asking if he’s okay and whether he wants to skip the briefing as he walks by the scowling spider’s side: You okay bud? Why don’t you go rest?

Tony simply backs away quietly when Peter glares at him, not wanting to say anything since Tony purely asked out of care and concern. The least he can do is keep quiet and silently tell the older man he doesn’t want to talk right now. (Spoiler alert, Tony does NOT get the same kindness he has spared to him now)

Sam was walking close behind and scoffs at Peter’s behavior, thinking he’s being more of a brat than he usually is and he actually says it to Bucky who doesn’t comment anything because he knows Peter’s enhanced hearing can hear him so he backs away from Sam. Sam, confused and looks back at Bucky while walking bumps into Peter who doesn’t even move when bumped into yet Sam falls on his butt. The Avengers snickers seeing the scene and when Sam looks back at Peter, he’s met with a small satisfied smirk as the teen walks away. Sam is being held back by Bucky AND Steve.

Then Clint, thinking he can lighten up the mood by wrapping his arm around the teenager’s shoulder alongside with his jokes was flabbergasted when he was thrown to a nearby wall and web covering his mouth in a blink of an eye. The Avengers stare dumbfounded (Thor is the one person going “OHHHH”) at Clint on the floor, barely able to get up and the teenager resting on the ceiling, sitting upside down. He finds it more comfortable than the chairs Shield provides. Clint’s mouth remained webbed shut for two hours because Peter is the only one with the solution.

Fury is obviously displeased with how Peter is acting, not understanding the STRUGGLES a superhero teenager who has school the next day alongside homework like him has. So when Fury is firmly telling him to come down, he simply lizard blinks before dropping a Mbaku on the man. (He spent some time with Shuri in Wakanda and whenever Mbaku was with Okoye, he overheard him always calling her it)

Peter in the most calm but you can tell he’s terribly tired voice: You bald-headed demon, who do nothing of the hard work, should keep your big ass mouth which have nothing useful to say, shut. And what the hell is the point of this?(the debrief) Telling us how we did our job and how much better we can do it next time. There won’t be a next time if you keep this up, because remember, you can never do the things you tell us to do without us.

Fury is silenced. Tony and Thor is cackling, Clint muffled laughter can be heard, Natasha is chuckling, Steve is trying his best to keep his giggles quiet, Sam(reluctantly) and Bucky is clapping and Bruce doesn’t even dare to smile as he nervously eyes the fuming pirate.

Peter huffs and simply gets down and walks away. The Avengers decided that the debrief is basically over within those five minutes and walks out too. Tony goes over to Peter and wrapping his arm around Peter and saying he’s proud but he mentions the glare Peter gave him earlier and Peter pauses and pushes Tony’s arm off

Peter: Being petty about that? As if you didn’t do worse. Taking my suit because you didn’t like it when I basically did the same stupid things you did before you started becoming a little mature as an adult.

Tony’s mouth is wide open, jaw dropped in shock and the Avengers are laughing at him, particularly Sam and Bucky’s being the loudest as Peter walks away and into his room. His own son destroyed him!

The next day, Peter is apologising to everyone profusely, especially to Tony for being so mean. He may gave a little insincere apology to Clint and Sam but it still was an apology. Fury didn’t get one.

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crystalgemcrusaders · 28 days ago

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Don't Freeze: T'Challa x Reader [drabble]

[t'challa x original character]

summary: t'challa freezes when he sees you. shuri teases him for it.

warnings: no use of y/n, t'challa has feelings for main character, avenger!main character, spider-sona!main character.

"Whatever you do brother, don't freeze when you see her." T'Challa scoffs, noting the hint of teasing laced in his sister's tone as she mocked him for freezing whenever he was around you. It happened with his ex Nakia, when Okoye and Shuri both mocked him for it.

But him freezing was a lot worse with you. It was like seeing a shy middle schooler shy to ask their crush out.

"Pft. As if I would do such thing." The king joked dismissively through his African accent, his mind now wandering onto you."Why would I freeze.....?" T'Challa's words began to twist into slurs as he caught a glimpse of your voice filling the room as you stepped out into the lounge area with Okoye, the two of you drowned in a conversation.

"Ah...."

Shuri observing her brother, lifts a brow. The princess can't resist the urge to laugh. She'll never let this one down no matter how much her brother demands her to.

"Told you, you'd freeze. What do you have to say for yourself, brother?" The young wakandan scientist teased, elbowing her older brother playfully. T'Challa—as if he wasn't flustered as is — groans as he rubs his face. "Dammit Shuri."

T'Challa sighed, tired of his sister's shenanigans. It was bad enough that he was flustered just by the mention of you. And on top of the stress that he was dealing with, he didn't need any more embarrassment from his younger sister.

"What? I'm just saying. You never really changed." Shuri snickered as she cuts it for now, though she kept the same smirk as your presence drawed closer.

#t'challa x reader #black panther x reader #black panther x oc #succubusbri writes: black panther x reader #succubusbri writes: reposted drabble #flustered!t'challa

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delicatebarness · 9 months ago

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bring him home | chapter six

Summary: Is this healing?

Warning: MCU Spoilers. Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Mentions of Grief and Loss. Violence. Mental Health Themes. Emotional Distress.

Word Count: 975

Spotify Playlist | Support: Ko-Fi

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: A RACCOON ABOUT A MAN. Also, this is a day early, forgive me but I want to work on Winter's Widow. - Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as mine. - B

The familiar scent of Bucky lingered, bringing a bittersweet comfort as the first light of dawn filtered through the window. Sitting you, you gathered your thoughts as you took a moment, the events from his journal replaying in your mind.

Making your way through the village, you were greeted warmly with the smiles of the Wakandan people. Their resilience was a testament to their strength that had helped them rebuild after Thanos’ attack.

Near the training ground, Okoye’s presence was as formidable as ever. “Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked, a quiet understanding carried in her voice.

You nodded, “More than I expected.” The word hung heavy in the air, the weight of Bucky’s recognition and struggle settling in your heart.

“Good,” Okoye said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Healing comes in many forms. Sometimes, it’s about confronting the past.”

The rest of your time was spent immersing yourself in the vibrancy of Wakanda and visiting familiar places and people. Every encounter, and every memory shared, helped you piece together the fractured parts of your heart. The marketplace bustled with life, the sounds of laughter and conversation blended with the scent of fresh spices and blooming flowers. Children played, and their joyful shouts echoed through the streets, a balm-like feeling to your soul.

Later one day, you found yourself at the edge of the city, overlooking the vast landscape of Wakanda. The sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the rolling hills. Sitting on a rock, you took in the beauty and quiet of the moment, the peace of the land slowly seeping into your bones.

It was a place of quiet reflection, where Bucky had once sought solace. With his journal in hand, you read his words once more, letting them wash over you.

Reaching the riverbank, you were just in time to see a figure dragging another to the shore. You recognized his metal arm gleaming in the faint light, he lay Steve gently on the ground as you squinted, focusing your gaze on them.

“Soldat!” you called out, your voice filling with hope and desperation.

His head snapped up, piercing blue eyes locking onto yours. For a moment, his expression was etched with confusion before a flash of recognition. Yet, the walls around his mind quickly came up again. He stood, taking a step back as you approached.

“Steve…” you whispered, dropping to your knees beside him. His breathing was steady, and the rise and fall of his chest spread relief through you, but he was still unconscious. Your hands trembled slightly as checked for any serious injuries.

Soldat watched, his eyes filling with torment. Taking another step back, you knew he was about to flee.

“Wait!” you called out, standing up. “Soldat… Buck– please. It’s me. Remember? I can help you.”

He hesitated, his expression flickered between the ruthless Winter Soldier, the man who trained and raised you, and the man you longed to know. He glanced down at Steve, then back at you. The internal struggle was evident.

“You know me,” you softly continued, taking a cautious step forward. “You made me into who I am. You don’t have to run, not from me.”

Soldat shook his head, the pain in his eyes almost unbearable to witness. Taking yet another step back, he glanced once more at Steve’s prone form. Tears welled up in your eyes, heartache washing over you.

“Please, James,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

His eyes softened for a brief moment, and you saw him recognize once more. The conflict in his mind tore him apart as he took a step forward before hesitating. The pain in his expression as he finally shook his head, cut you to the core.

“I’m sorry, Spiderling,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “I can’t… I can’t stay.”

Before you could say anything, he turned and vanished into the shadows. Once again, leaving you. You knelt back down beside Steve, your hands gently brushing the wet hair from his forehead as his eyes fluttered open, giving you a weak smile.

“Hey, Captain,” you whispered, your voice choking with emotion. “You did it, it’s over.”

His eyes filled with relief as he glanced around. “Bucky…?”

“He saved you,” you softly assured, your heart aching. “He pulled you out.”

Steve nodded, his eyes reflecting the determination you felt. “Find him,” he asked, his voice firm despite his exhaustion.

With a deep breath, you nodded.

“Okoye,” you called out, catching her attention. She had been in the midst of training the Dora Milage, her command sharp and unwavering. Upon seeing you, she dismissed the trainees for a break.

She nodded, walking toward you. “What is it?” she asked, her gaze piercing.

“I think it’s time for me to leave,” you said, your voice steady. “I have a meeting with a raccoon about a man.”

Okoye raised an eyebrow, amusement glazed in her eyes. “Rocket?” she asked, and you nodded. “Very well,” she nodded in understanding. “But remember, Wakanda will always be a home to you. And to James.”

“Thank you, Okoye,” you said, a lump forming in your throat. “For everything.”

Placing a hand on your shoulder, her eyes softened. “You have done much for us, and you have found family here. But, sometimes, moving forward is the best way to honor the past. Be safe, and may Bast watch over you.”

With a lingering final glance around the landscape, Wakanda had given you so much, that you boarded the Quinjet once more. The familiar hum of its engines carries a sense of purpose.

As you soared through the skies, the horizon stretched out before you. Bucky’s journals lay beside you, a reminder of the journeys you had embarked on and the fight to bring him home that still lay ahead.

---

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

#bring him home series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky fic #bring him home #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #the winter soldier #winter soldier #catws

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ramp-it-up · 1 year ago

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To Renounce and to Claim

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: A world where you and Bucky can be happy is seemingly only what dreams are made of. Until you complete your mission.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. S MUT! Read at your own risk. Curate your own experience. Pining, low self esteem, two idiots in love, Bucky in Wakanda, the White Wolf, skinny dipping, eye fucking, sex in public, sex in a river, loss of "virginity", size kink, pleasurable pain with sex, raw sex, oral sex, pulling out, cum play. Feelings of loss, (the death of T'Challa is implied) implied loss of child, feelings of revenge. Google translate Hausa and Russian.

Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N: This is the second in the Bucky Barnes and the Summer Soldier series. White Wolf Bucky, liberties taken with the MCU cannon and timeline. The following terms are from google translate in Hausa: Masoyi- my love; ina son ku- I love you; ina son ku kuma- I love you too. Kulkoka- Doll in Russian. Other terms defined in text.

As always, reblog if you like it!

I don’t have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post!

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Wakanda, 2017

The first time you saw Bucky Barnes, you wanted to destroy him.

You, and everyone you knew, thought that he’d assassinated your king, T’Chaka.

The pictures of the masked metal-armed man which was circulated among the Dora were mesmerizing to you. The blue eyes above the black mask seemed to stare into your soul. They were menacing, determined, yet with a hint of something else that had you transfixed.

You kept your eyes on the images long past the ending of the briefing and you were still seated with the holo-pad when everyone else stood to go.

When Okoye called for you, the other Doras quirked their mouths, the loudest their merriment would go in the mixed company of civilians, royalty, and military.

Zola confronted you about it months later, when Barnes was granted asylum in Wakanda.

“I want to talk to you about your feelings for the Winter Soldier.”

You stared at your former Captain, incredulous.

Bast, this woman did not forget a thing.

“I know not of which you speak, Mistress. I was studying his photos to see if I could spot a weakness, so as to kill him easily. Now that he has the king’s protection, I will follow orders.”

You kept your posture rigid and eyes straight ahead as she regarded you. Your training was over, but she knew you better than your mother in the river valley; you’d certainly been with her longer.

“That is the correct answer, child.”

You did not dare mention that you had not been a child for years. You kept your disrespect in your head. Not that it mattered.

“I know what you are thinking. That you are a full grown woman, a warrior. But if you do not want to put all of that in jeopardy, you will be careful. Do not let him into your head.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You should have listened better, for after he arrived, the Winter Soldier was not only in your head; he was in your heart. The chaos a smile from James Barnes could create inside you would cause your father to send you to the Jabari if you were still his ward.

You chilled Bucky to the bone from the first moment he laid eyes on you; you were so regal and so strong. You were different than any other human he’d ever met.

The second he introduced himself and your beautiful lips tilted into a frown and said, “What by Bast, is a Bucky?” you were firmly entrenched in his soul.

Neither of you felt you could be honest, you because of duty and he because he felt like an incomplete shadow of a man. Bucky had a lot of work to do. And he set about the work of healing, mentally and physically with a singular focus. Becoming worthy of you was one of his primary goals and you didn’t realize it.

The day Wakanda celebrated James Barnes and gave him a new name was the beginning of the end.

For the better part of the previous year, James Barnes had been just a man. A man that you squared off with when he first arrived, a man that you watched with pity as he broke down, then listened to with sympathy, talked to with candor, trained with intensity, and eventually broke bread with trust.

Now that man was your abokin kirki, your good friend. And also the White Wolf, practically a member of the royal family.

And, like the stealthiest of adversaries, the romantic feelings caught up to you quickly and without warning. You were astonished at how you felt when you saw the way that he looked at Nareema during the Royal celebration for him. You were devastated that he could look at another in that way and more than that, disappointed in yourself.

The fact that you’d fallen for your friend was something that you vowed never to admit or act upon. Sacrifice was your duty. Your feelings didn’t matter even if they were requited. Barnes was healing, and thus did not have time to focus on frivolous emotion.

Your job, as commanded by T'Challa, was to assist him through this period, and bid him goodbye when the time came.

What you purposefully ignored was how he had acted toward you. James sought you out, how he waited for you to come back from missions and training exercises, always with your favorite dishes prepared. Cooking was a hobby that he had undertaken to help calm his mind. And he was quite good at it.

You also disregarded the way Bucky looked at you, the way his eyes changed when you were in full combat gear, and the way his bow deepened as you walked by.

Or rather, you only thought about it when you were alone in your bed at night.

You should never have taken him to your favorite spot along the river the day after the celebration and allowed him to skinny dip with you. You told yourself it was just a private celebration between comrades; it was common among friends of the River Tribe, males and females naked before one another with no illicit thought. But this was different.

The way that you and James stared at each other from opposite banks as you lay in the sun after frolicking like children was dangerous. Your eyes avoided his, but you drank the rest of him in, from the new arm, to the scars on his chest, to the water drops dripping down his skin onto the river bank. His large cock was at rest, but it was long and thick, and you could imagine what it would be like if it were awakened.

You stared innocently at his manhood while something inside you alighted.

James’ eyes were upon you, from your captivating eyes, to those alluring lips, to the water running in rivulets between your beautiful breasts. He’d always admired your body, remembering every curve and toned muscle late at night and early in the morning when he was alone. The lust inside of him wanted you, but so did the love.

His eyes sought out yours, and when you finally returned his gaze, he guessed that perhaps you shared his feelings. Sensing his awareness, you again looked at his body, studying him as if he were predator, or prey.

Your boldness was alluring, and the fact that you were sitting, legs akimbo, so that he could clearly see the folds made Bucky feel the need to go into the river again to hide his arousal.

You joined him without thinking, your heart trying to break free from your ribs. You were afraid. For the first time, you felt truly afraid as your instinct drew you closer to him.

James’ hair was in his eyes, similar to the first time you saw him in those pictures all those months ago. And yet it was different this time. This time you knew that he would be your undoing.

You reached up to smooth his hair back, and he grabbed your wrist, pulling you close to him, your nipples conducting electricity with his wet skin and his cock pounding on your belly.

“Bari in tafi James. Let me go.”

“Da gaske kike so na? Do you really want me to?”

James pulled your hand to his mouth, his lips grazing your palm and up your arm. Your other hand flew up to strike him and he caught it with his vibranium one and twisted it behind you.

You were shocked, but not at him; you were surprised at your reaction. You could have easily gotten out of his hold, you were a skilled fighter.

But you didn’t want to.

“Do you mean to take me like some common karuwa?”

James spoke as his satin lips tasted your skin.

“Stop fighting the inevitable. You know that I hold you in the highest regard. You are not a whore, you are masoyi.”

James’ mouth had reached your shoulder and as he spoke you turned your head toward him as you whispered, terrified.

“You do not mean th-”

Bucky cut you off with his mouth upon yours. You whimpered in his grip and yielded when his tongue insisted entry to meet yours.

You stood in the river, James Barnes’ fingers massaging your scalp, drowning in his kiss. You moved closer to him, throwing your arms up to caress the muscles in his back, your fingers following the traces of water down his torso.

When the kiss was over, your head was spinning.

“What is it you want, soyayya ta? If I have offended you, I will leave Wakanda and never return. I-”

This time you cut him off with a kiss of your own, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist, grinding against his cock which was trapped between your core and his belly. James’ hands cupped your ass and as he did so, he groaned. He’d wanted to touch you this way as soon as he saw you, but he’d never dared. He respected you too much.

This time when you separated, you gave him direction.

“The rocks over there on the river bank.”

You pointed behind him to where he lay moments before.

“There. Take me James, over there.”

James turned around in the water, careful not to let the weakness he felt for you, nor the river current cause him to lose his footing. When he made it to the riverbank he deposited you gently on the sun-warmed rocks.

You leaned up on your elbows as James remained half in the water looking up into your eyes.

“Do you really want me James?”

He nodded.

“I do. More than just about anything.”

He picked up your hand and kissed your palm again.

“I have dreamed of this for so long. Tell me that you want me to, masoyi.”

You nodded.

“I want you, James. Ina son ku.”

Bucky beamed.

“Ina son ku kuma.”

And just like that, you were promised to each other, on the banks of your river beneath the Wakandan sun.

You kissed again, the act feeling like a sacrament, heating both of you beyond inhibition. His mouth, his hands, even his eyes on you were alerting all of your senses, because he was everywhere, and all at once. Your hands moved to keep up with him, your ardor overtaking you while you experienced his. Everywhere he touched, bit, suckled and stroked built the fires within you.

Bucky’s hand found your clit and teased it briefly before plunging a thick finger tip inside you. You bit your lip as you wantonly moved your hips.

“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time, James. Need you.”

“You’ve no idea how much I want to be with you, too, kulkoka, but I don’t want to hurt you…”

James’ flesh hand was moving, stroking your walls as if he owned you, but your face heated at the knowledge of what he meant.

One night around the fire, he let you get drunk on some Border Tribe wine and you’d told him that you’d never been with a man. Not that you were a virgin, whatever that meant, but that sex with a man was something you hadn’t done.

Now you boldly stared at him in his mountain-ice blue eyes.

“I am a warrior James. I can handle it.”

James smirked and tilted his head as his fingers sank into your silken folds, readying you for his intrusion.

“Is that so?”

“Y-yes. I want you inside me…”

Your head lolled back on your shoulders, your shut eyelids glowing red with the sun.

“Mmmmmm, I want that too, Doll.. but I need to see you cum. Right now.”

James climbed down your body, pulling your thighs to the end of the rocks as he went. Your ass ended up in his hands and you leaned up on your elbows to watch him work. You spread your legs for him as his head dipped to your cunt.

James obtained eye contact as he delicately licked your slit from top to bottom and then stopped, watching as your eye opened, blazing as you silently demanded more by pushing his head down harder.

“Eat your meal, Sargent.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

You never let him forget that you outranked him, but he saucily winked as he went down and let his smile curl into your wetness.

As Bucky held you in two hands like a bowl and ate you like a man starved, you pulled his hair, which only spurred him on more. He would lick and then look at your pussy, pause, look you in the eyes, and then suck your clit until you were seeing stars. He continued until he could feel you clenching on his tongue. He suckled you and you trembled at how his lips looked wrapped around you. You squirmed until he had to hold you down so you couldn’t run from your orgasm.

“Give it to me. Now.”

Although you outranked him, your body obeyed his command.

You gasped as your mouth opened into a silent “O”, but you eventually didn’t care as you let out a wail with your climax.

Bucku suckled you through it, drawing out more pleasure and grinning when your pulses subsided.

When you were cognizant again, you reached for his member.

James Barnes was a model of a man, long and girthy, you could barely close your fist around him. His large glistening head projected out of the foreskin of his warm, thick and tan shaft. He felt so good in your grip, the veins that weaved around him making you crave that texture inside you. You had the curious urge to take his large balls into your mouth as your hand caressed him.

The effect of your action upon him was lost on you until you heard a groan, and you tore your eyes away from his glorious manhood to look up.

He was beautiful, looking at you with hooded eyes, hands on your thighs as he let you explore him, but obviously holding back. You could see his muscles tense as if ready to spring. With that knowledge, you leaned back as he gathered your thighs into his large hands. You knew that your arousal was leaking onto the rocks and that was confirmed at the way James looked between your legs and licked his lips.

“Take me James, I’m yours.”

“Be certain of what you’re saying, Doll.”

James lifted your leg to his shoulder and kissed from your ankle to your knee, causing you to shiver, then repeated the action with your other one. He then placed his hands on your waist as he moved close, the tip of his cock slotting into our wet, pulsing hole.

You whined as James stayed still, questioning you with his eyes.

“Please. James, I need you.”

Bucky swallowed and nodded, looking almost afraid.

“I got you, masoyi.”

Slowly, James moved forward, pushing inside you until you began to whimper. He stopped, not wanting to hurt you.

You never expected this sensation, the burning, the stretch, but you knew you were not ready for it to end.

You nodded up at him.

“More.”

You remembered your regulation exercises and used them to relax. James’s cock felt so damn good, but it was a lot to take. He was ruining you from any other feeling and could tell when he looked into your lust blown eyes. His gaze roamed your entire body to take in this moment forever and to keep himself calm. He wanted to take you roughly and immediately, but he loved you too much to ever hurt you.

You moaned as the pleasure from him filling you began to overtake the pain. When he was finally seated as full as he could, passion overtook you and you began to move.

James grabbed you harder to still your hips, trying to hold back.

“I want you to fuck me James!”

With that Bucky growled and climbed up on the rock, knees giving leverage to his hips, which snapped into yours once and stopped when you yelped.

“Easy Doll, don’t want to… damn…you feel so fucking good… so right… hmmm.”

James’ mouth explored your neck and torso, finally worshiping your nipples. You wrapped your legs around his hips, hands in his hair and whispering into his ear.

“Bast! I will not break, White Wolf. Claim me. Make me yours!”

Bucky leaned up and wrapped his hand around your throat as he began to honor your request. He was now pounding into you so hard that your body, and you swore the rock beneath you, rippled.

You moaned loudly as pain turned into pleasure and your body started to tremble. Bucky’s display of power over you had your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Thaats it. So fucking beautiful. I’m.. not gonna… fuck I’m gonna…I need you to…”

Bucky’s other hand found your clit and you let out a string of river tribe curses as you exploded around his cock.

“Holy…”

Bucky pumped about three more times and he exploded as well, pulling out in time to leave a string of pearls from your clit to your collarbone as he released all over you. You trembled as his hot spend seemed to sizzle on your sun warmed body. You watched him attempt to empty everything for you and then reached for him, instinctively sitting up to suck the rest out of him. Bucky looked down on you and shuddered, palming your head as you cleaned him off.

He reached down to play in the cum that decorated your body as you lay back on the warm rock. Then, he picked you up and took you back into the river, tenderly cleaning you off while covering you with kisses.

“I am going to meet with T’Challa. I need you to be my wife and have my babies as soon as possible.”

____

You woke up with a start and tears in your eyes, the noise outside coming through the fog in your head as Amsterdam’s red light district.

You felt a deep loss. For your King, your people, your home.. your husband.

Your child.

You slowly sat up from your sleeping bag, and shuffled to the bathroom to clean your face.

As you looked into the mirror, you vowed that you would be back with your husband…as soon as you killed the power broker.

Please reblog to spread the joy!

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barns x dora milaje!reader #bucky barnes and the summer soldier #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes the white wolf #bucky barnes x black!reader #white wolf #bucky barnes in wakanda #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan imagine #kinktobermaybe #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes

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imtryingbuck · 1 year ago

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Happy at last

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 751

Warnings: fluffy (my attempt at it anyway), mention of suicide. there’s a bit in the fic that is most definitely wrong by law but just go with it okay? Okay. the last chapter

A/N: I’m really sorry this is short. This weekend hasn’t been the greatest so…anyways sorry if it’s shit but I genuinely don’t have the energy to do anymore. I do hope you enjoy it though and thank you to everyone who’s commented, liked and reblogged each chapter it truly means the world🤍

Masterlist Series Masterlist

It’s been three years since Y/n and Bucky left hand in hand for Wakanda. The first nine months they were there was pretty hectic.

Shuri got her prepped and ready for the deprogramming, which didn’t take as long as Bucky’s. When she was clear of her trigger words that Bucky had read out, just like she read his all them years ago.

Steve let Bucky know that the President had been arrested for his role at Hydra, just after he was arrested he committed suicide. His name was still tarnished and the whole world knew what he had done.

Y/n made sure that his mistress, the mother of his unborn child, Alisha Grey and Baby Grey’s bodies were found and given a proper burial, right next to where her grave lays.

The new President gave Y/n a full pardon and gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom medal. Stating on national television that Y/n L/n was never a traitor but a hero. A hero that had been saving people’s lives since she was 16 years old and that’s what she should be always known and remembered for. A hero.

The bosses and agents of SHIELD were all fired for what they did to her. Some were even arrested and sent to prison.

The warden of the Raft was arrested and sent to prison for endangering life that he was in charge of and for abuse and neglect, as well as profiting from assaults. He got 20 years.

Hydra had finally been shut down completely, all agents arrested and charged to with life imprisonment.

Y/n and Bucky’s relationship started. After she was given the all clear Bucky didn’t waste a single millisecond to kiss her. Kissing her like his life depended upon it right in front of T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia and Okoye - who all cheered and clapped.

When the time came for them to go back to their other home, Bucky tried to convince her to stay-

“Doll we have a life here, we’re safe”

“But… then that means we’ll have a normal life”

“And?”

“I-I don’t know how to live a life that’s normal Buck, all my life I’ve been trained to fight from one fight to the next…”

“I know, and my love you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. We’ll do it together I promise living a normal life scares me too but we can continue to be happy here”

She hesitated, what he was saying was true and she knew that. Though she did have to admit she took to farming rather quickly, naming all their goats after members of the team and the bull they had after Fury. She also did enjoy helping out on the markets, bouncing from stall to stall. Loved helping the children with schoolwork and keeping them busy by playing with them when their parents were busy or tired. She especially loved the day she delivered a beautiful baby girl - bless Bucky’s heart he had to hear about it every day for nearly two weeks, in full detail.

She loved the feeling of being free. Free from the pain and suffering she either saw or went through. Free from one order to the next. Free to finally be herself.

But even if she did love that feeling she was terrified off it, what she had told Bucky wasn’t wrong, all of her life the only thing she knew what to do was to fight and to survive.

Wakanda was her home from the minute she stepped foot in the country many years ago, and with Bucky by her side she knew everything was okay, right?

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Okay we can stay” Bucky picked her up and spun her around until he lost his footing making them fall to the ground, it didn’t stop him from placing kisses upon kisses to her face.

The team understood when Bucky and Y/n told them that they was retiring, nor was they surprised by the two’s relationship.

One by one the team followed suit and retired too, all being welcomed openly by King T’Challa and the people of Wakanda.

Each and everyone of them had found happiness.

It’s now the 9th of March 2026, time currently is 11:54pm, their whole family is waiting outside the couples home wincing at hearing Y/n’s screams.

The clock strikes 12:01 and all is heard is the cries of a baby.

Bucky runs out a few minutes later with tears streaming down his face.

“It’s a boy!”

<Previous

Tags: @unaxv @learisa @vicmc624 @bethexo07 @doublebassallie @cyberficlya @elijahssuit @sapphirebarnes @wasffginc @ladyvenera @casa-boiardi @cjand10 @iloveceandsswithallmyheart @violetwinterwidow01 @avocadotoastwithegg

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

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buckyssoldat · 3 months ago

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Chapter 66: Unspoken

Warnings: major character death, grief and loss, emotional distress, mature themes, angst, violence, mentions of blood, themes of self-sacrifice and acceptance, heartbreaking conversations, romantic tension and vulnerability, strong language, sexual themes

A/N: This is part of my series, Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier. If you wanna be tagged in this, just send me an ask or a message. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Alice’s eyes snapped open, her head throbbing with the force of a brutal headache. She felt the weight of her body pressing against the ground, the familiar hum of battle still crackling in the air. For a moment, everything felt surreal, too disorienting to grasp, but then she heard it: Peter Parker’s voice, calling out to her.

“Miss Onyx!” he shouted, his tone panicked but familiar. “Get up! We need to move! The gauntlet!”

Groaning, Alice pushed herself up, her eyes scanning the chaotic battlefield around them. Her sword was lying just a few feet away, its blade gleaming faintly. She reached for it, gripping the hilt with steady hands. As she did, the ground shook beneath her, and she looked up just in time to see Thanos preparing for another brutal attack. He was fighting Wanda, her power nearly overwhelming him, but he wasn’t backing down.

Once she noticed what Thanos was about to do, she instinctively pulled Peter into cover, her body blocking his as she shielded the gauntlet with hew own. The barrage of energy blasts rained down on them, the air sizzling with heat and force. But just as suddenly as it started, the blitz stopped. Alice’s chest heaved, her senses on high alert as she cautiously looked up.

Then, she saw it – Captain Marvel, hurtling through the sky, ripping Thanos’s ship like it was made of paper. She couldn’t help herself. She let out a whoop, a triumphant shout that was both a relief and a declaration of victory.

“Fuck yeah, Carol!” Alice yelled, her grin fierce. “I bet the giant grape is shitting his pants right now.”

Captain Marvel’s descent was like watching a comet crash to Earth, and when Carol landed in front of Alice and Peter, a new sense of hope blossomed in Alice’s chest. She stood up, pushing Peter gently to the side, though he remained clutching the gauntlet.

“Hi. I’m Peter Parker,” he said, giving Carol a small, awkward wave.

Carol’s grin was infectious as she met his gaze. “Hey, Peter Parker. You got something for me?”

Alice straightened up beside Carol, smiling at her friend before giving a quick nod. “Hey, Carol. Glad you could make it.”

Peter shakily passed her the gauntlet, his hands still trembling. “I don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all that,” he said, looking toward the warzone.

But before Carol could answer, the ground rumbled again as Wanda appeared, flying beside Valkyrie, her Pegasus taking her through the air with terrifying grace. Wanda’s voice rang out, steady despite the chaos.

“Don’t worry,” Wanda said, confidence in her tone.

“She’s got help,” Okoye, who had joined them, spoke.

Pepper, Mantis, Shuri, the Wasp, Gamora, and Nebula followed, their arrival like a wave of reinforcements crashing down on Thanos’s forces. They stood ready for battle, determined to see this fight to the bitter end.

Carol began to push forward, flying through the Outriders, Sakaarans, and Chitauri with an ease that made it look effortless. Wanda and Valkyrie destroyed Leviathans in their wake, their power unmatched. Alice, too, was in motion, slashing through enemies, her sword singing as it cut through the air.

Ebony Maw was the next target. Alice’s sword met his chest with a brutal thrust, pinning him to the ground. As he gasped in agony, Alice leaned down, her eyes narrowing with pure fury.

“That’s for throwing me across the fucking field,” she muttered, twisting the blade for emphasis before pulling it free.

Just a few meters away, Alice noticed Corvus Glaive fighting with a Wakandan warrior. She didn’t wait for Corvus to get the upper hand on the struggling warrior. Her boots pounded against the dirt and shattered fragments of metal, and she barely paused to shout, “Leave this one to me!”. The Wakandan man gave her a grateful nod and stepped back, eyes wide as she stepped into the fray.

Corvus turned his blade-like gaze on her, a twisted grin pulling at his lips. “I ripped your head off once,” Alice snarled, dropping her sword on the ground, “I can and will do it again.”

He sneered, “No, you didn’t.”

Alice’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Let me refresh your memory then.”

Corvus lunged at her, his weapon slicing the air, but Alice dropped into a low roll, evading the deadly swing. Dust and dirt kicked up around her as she popped back to her feet and leaped onto Corvus’s back with a burst of speed. Her legs clamped around his shoulders, locking in tight, and her fingers curled under his chin, finding a grip.

Corvus roared, thrashing wildly, but Alice held firm, drawing on every ounce of strength she had. With a fierce, determined scream, she pulled, and the muscles in her arms straining as she wrenched his head backward. The sinews of his neck resisted, and he tried to throw her off, staggering backward, but she tightened her legs and twisted.

There was a sickening crack, and Corvus’s head ripped from his body with a grotesque, wet sound. His body crumpled to the ground beneath her, lifeless and defeated. Breathing hard, Alice landed on her feet, holding the severed head aloft before tossing it aside.

“Memory refreshed,” she spat, catching her breath as she surveyed the ongoing chaos, already searching for the next target. She wiped her hands off on her pants, the blood still dripping from her fingers, but it wasn’t until she heard a sharp intake of breath that she turned.

Okoye stood a few feet away, her wide eyes locked on the lifeless body of Corvus Glaive, his head lying discarded in the dirt. The look on Okoye’s face was a mixture of pure horror and absolute disbelief.

“Did you just-?” Okoye’s voice was strained, like she couldn’t quite process what she had just witnessed.

Alice, still catching her breath, gave a casual shrug, as if decapitation one of Thanos’s top warriors was no big deal. “Yeah. I did.”

Okoye blinked rapidly, her mouth opening and closing like she wanted to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come. She finally settled on a deadpan, “I don’t know whether to be impressed or deeply disturbed.”

Alice shot her a grin. “Both is probably the right answer.”

Okoye could only stare, her face a picture of utter confusion and amazement. “You are a very, very strange woman.”

Meanwhile, Carol was streaking toward the van with the gauntlet, but the fight wasn’t over yet. Thanos was charging after her, but before he could reach her, he was stopped in his tracks by a blast from Pepper, Shuri, and the Wasp, knocking him back. Carol soared past him, but Thanos, now fully enraged, threw his double sword at the van. The weapon shattered the Quantum Realm tunnel, the blast sending Carol spiralling backward. The gauntlet slipped from her grasp, landing with a heavy thud on the ground.

Alice’s heart pounded as she sprinted across the battlefield, her boots pounding against the cracked ground. She’d seen Tony’s move, the way he’d tackled Thanos with everything he had, and now she was running toward the chaos, adrenaline pushing her faster. She didn’t know if it was the desperation or the sheer fury of watching Thanos almost win, but nothing was going to stop her from reaching him.

She reached the clearing just in time to see Tony being thrown in the air like a ragdoll, his body slamming against the dirt with a sickening thud. Her eyes locked onto Thanos, the gauntlet now on his arm, and she felt a surge of dread fill her chest.

The end was coming, and it was coming fast.

“No,” she hissed under her breath, her eyes narrowing. She didn’t have time to think, to hesitate. The world had gone quiet for a split second, the thrum of her heart drowning out everything else. She was already moving, charging forward, sword in hand. Her grip tightened, her breath steady.

Thanos’s fingers curled, and Alice’s stomach twisted as he prepared to snap his fingers. And then she heard it, Thanos’s voice cutting through the chaos.

“I am inevitable,” Thanos said, his voice dark and sure.

Alice reached him just as he snapped his fingers, and for a moment, nothing happened. Just a metallic “clink”. Thanos stared down at his hand in confusion, and his face twisted in horror as he realized the Infinity Stones were gone.

Tony Stark, now standing tall with the stones on his own hand, the power of them coursing through him, looked at Thanos one last time.

"And I… am… Iron Man.”

With that, Tony snapped his fingers.

Thanos’s army crumbled to ash, and Thanos, too, began to disintegrate. Horror filled his eyes as he looked around, watching his entire plan fall apart. He sat down, defeated at last, his form slowly fading from existence, his power, his dreams, evaporating into the void.

Alice’s feet seemed to falter with every step she took toward Tony. Her eyes were wide, her heart pounding, but nothing could prepare her for the sight in front of her. Tony, still laying amidst the wreckage, his right side a mangled mess of raw energy and shattered armour, was struggling to breathe. The very sight of him made her chest tighten in a way that felt like her ribs were cracking. Every piece of her screamed for him to move, to get up, to make some joke, something – anything – but there was nothing.

She couldn’t stop the tears from welling up, the hopelessness sinking in like a heavy weight that crushed her lungs. Her legs gave way beneath her, and she crumpled to the ground beside him, unable to look away from the slow, laboured rise and fall of his chest.

The power of the Gauntlet had destroyed him. There was no question now.

“Tony…” her voice broke, barely more than a whisper as she reached out, trembling hands hovering over him but unable to touch. She couldn’t bear to see him like this.

Bucky’s hand found hers before she could pull away, his grip firm warm. He didn’t say a word, but his presence was a quiet anchor, offering her the steadying force she needed. She looked up at him, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“He’s not…” Her voice faltered, and she could barely finish the thought. She didn’t wanna to say it. She couldn’t make herself admit it.

Bucky squeezed her hand tighter, his eyes full of silent understanding, and said nothing. He just stayed there, holding her, offering his support without needing to say anything more.

Peter Parker appeared then, soaring down from the sky with his webbing. He landed awkwardly beside Tony, his eyes scanning the fallen hero with disbelief. “Mr Stark?” he said, his voice trembling as he kneeled beside him, looking desperately for some sign of life. “Hey, Mr Stark? Can you hear me? It’s Peter. Hey. We won, Mr Stark – we won. You did it, sir. You did it.”

Alice couldn’t bear to watch as Peter’s voice cracked, his hands shaking as he tried to rouse Tony, his tears falling freely. She closed her eyes, her breath hitching as the overwhelming weight of it all settled in her chest.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter whispered, collapsing into Tony’s unresponsive form, his arms wrapping around him. “Tony…” His voice was barely a whisper, filled with so much pain Alice could barely breathe. He couldn’t lose Tony too – not like this.

Pepper arrived, kneeling beside Tony, her face etched with grief. Her hands shook as she touched his face, trying to hold onto him, as if touching him one more time might bring him back. “Hey,” she whispered softly, but Tony could barely lift his head.

“Hey, Pep…” Tony’s voice was a raspy murmur, so weak, but it was still him. Still the man who’d saved them all.

Pepper placed her hand on Tony’s Arc Reactor as Tony rested his hand on hers. She stared at his injuries, afraid of what was coming.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” She called the AI.

“Life functions critical,” the AI responded as Tony smiled with tears in his eyes.

“Tony,” she gently lifted his face so he could see her one last time.

Alice felt her heart tear in two. Her breath hitched as she watched Pepper say the words Alice knew were coming.

“We’re gonna be okay. You can rest now.”

And with that, Tony’s Arc Reactor flickered and died. The light that had once been a symbol of hope, of Iron Man, of all that Tony Stark had been, was gone.

Alice let out a strangled sob, her chest tight with a pain she couldn’t name. Bucky wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, but it didn’t stop the ache that filled every inch of her being. Tony was gone.

And then, in the midst of the silence, every hero who had fought beside him gathered around, kneeling in honour of the man who had given everything.

And there, on the battlefield, they all mourned together. For Tony Stark. For the hero. For the friend.

The air in the aftermath of the battle was thick with exhaustion and grief. Wakandan medics, led by T’Challa and Doctor Strange, had quickly opened portals and brough in advanced technology to check on everyone, making sure no one had injuries that couldn’t be mended. They cleaned up everyone’s wounds, patching up what they could, and offering the best healing methods they had at their disposal.

Alice had barely registered when the medics came to check her. She’d been lost in a daze of emotions – relief, pain, disbelief. The battle was over. They had won. But it didn’t feel like a victory. Not when they’d lost so much. Not when Natasha and Tony were gone.

Bucky had been cleared too, but he hadn’t left her side, his quiet presence a comfort that she wasn’t sure she could handle losing.

As the medics finished and left them both standing in the quiet aftermath, Alice turned to him, her voice soft but steady. “Come back with me,” she said, the words heavy with meaning. “To my place. In Harlem. We’ll just… be there.”

Bucky hesitated for a moment, his blue eyes scanning her face. But then he nodded, giving her a faint, sad smile. “Alright. Let’s go.”

As they made their way to leave, Alice caught sight of Steve, standing off to the side, his arms crossed as he watched them. There was something in his eyes – perhaps a quiet understanding, a silent approval – as he looked at his two best friends. It wasn’t the usual Steve Rogers, always stoic and reserved; no, this was something else.

Alice could tell there was a flicker of something in his gaze – contentment, maybe even a hint of relief. He knew what Bucky and Alice had been through, both separately and together. How much they had carried, how much they had fought to get here. And now, seeing them finally find each other again, even after everything that had happened, it seemed to bring Steve some peace.

He smiled, though it was small, and the lines of his face softened, as if he was finally seeing something that felt right again in the midst of all the chaos. There were no words exchanged between them, but in that brief moment, there didn’t need to be.

Alice gave Steve a nod, her voice soft as she said, “We’ll be okay.” It was more for herself than anyone else, but Steve heard it.

Bucky, too, offered a silent acknowledgement, the quiet understanding between them all remaining unspoken.

And then, with one final glance at Steve, Alice and Bucky stepped out into the cool night, ready to find what they could in the stillness of her apartment, knowing that, in their own way, they had found each other again.

Steve stood there for a moment longer, watching them leave, before turning his attention back to the scene before him. But his mind lingered on Alice and Bucky, and for the first time in a long while, he felt a sense of peace about what had transpired.

The trip back to her apartment was a blur, the weight of everything still hanging in the air. Alice had barely said a word, her mind too full of everything they’d just been through. They both needed space to process it, but she wanted him with her, wanted the warmth of his presence to anchor her.

Once inside, Alice could barely focus on anything beyond the overwhelming fatigue. She headed straight for the bathroom, wanting to wash away the blood, dirt, and remnants of battle that clung to her skin. The shower’s warm water felt soothing against her sore body, and she stood under it for a long time, letting it wash over her in silence. When she finished, she wrapped herself in a towel, her mind still swirling with everything that had happened.

Bucky, meanwhile, took his own shower in the bathroom next door. His movements were slower than usual, but Alice didn’t press him. She knew the weight of the battle had taken its toll on him, just like it had on her. The silence between them was comfortable, but not in the way it usually was. This time, it felt heavy.

After a while, they both emerged from the bathroom, feeling a little more human. Before changing into something comfortable, Alice gave Bucky the biggest sweatpants and t-shirt she had. Once she was dressed, she settled on the couch with a sigh. The quiet of the apartment was different tonight – no longer a sanctuary of peace, but a reminder of all they had lost.

Bucky sat beside her, his presence a quiet reassurance. He reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. Neither of them spoke for a while. There was nothing to say that could make the pain go away.

Finally, Alice broke the silence. “You should come to bed,” she said softly, her voice raw with emotion. “Please. I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

Bucky hesitated, but only for a moment. The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He nodded, squeezing her hand before they both stood. He didn’t say a word, but as they made their way to her bedroom, he kept his arm around her, guiding her gently.

Once they were both in bed, the room dark and still, Alice curled up beside him, her head resting against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close. For a moment, they just laid there, the quiet of the apartment settling over them like a blanket. Even though they had won, even though they were together, there was still that heavy, lingering sadness in the air.

When Bucky spoke, his voice was low, almost a whisper. “We’ll get through this,” he said softly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Alice’s heart ached, and she nodded. “Yeah, you and me. Together,” she whispered back.

And with that, they both fell into a deep, exhausted sleep, finding comfort in each other’s arms, trying to forget, even if just for a moment, the world that had been left behind. And, for the first time in a long time, Alice allowed herself to drift off to sleep, knowing she wasn’t alone anymore.

Bucky had stayed in Alice’s apartment for a few days now, and although the stillness between them was comforting in its own way, it was also heavy. They had both been through so much – the battles, the losses, the weight of the years that had passed. Everything was supposed to be different now, right? They had won. They had their lives back. But there was something in the way they were with each other that made Alice feel like they were still stuck in a limbo, uncertain of how to move forward.

It was the quiet moments that made her wonder if they were really moving forward at all.

At first, sharing a bed had felt natural. It wasn’t anything sexual – just two people trying to find comfort after everything they had been through. They didn’t need words to express what they felt. Just being near each other was enough. But over time, Alice found herself wanting more. Her thoughts turned to what they could be if they let themselves, what it might feel to hold him in the most intimate way possible.

She would wait for the nights when he was relaxed, when the tension seemed to face from his body. She would wear her most revealing pyjamas, nudge closer to him, just enough that she could feel his warmth, but not too much to make him uncomfortable. Her hand would inch toward his, the subtle movement meant to be an invitation, a gentle push toward the closeness they both needed. But every time she reached for him, he would either gently pull away or shift enough to create a space between them.

At first, Alice convinced herself it was nothing. He was exhausted. He was still processing everything that had happened. She understood that. But as the days stretched on, those small gestures – the ones that said more than words ever could – began to pile up. His eyes would never meet hers when she looked at him, and when she touched his arm or brushed against him, there was no reciprocation. It was like there was a wall, built from everything that had happened to him, to both of them, and no matter how much she wanted to tear it down, she didn’t know how.

One night, after they had shared a meal and talked about the small, trivial things that made the day feel normal again, Alice felt the same urge. They were sitting on the couch, her legs tucked under her, his arm resting on the back of the seat. She didn’t even need words. She just wanted to be close to him in a way that felt more real than the invisible barrier between them. The moonlight streaming in through the window cast a gentle glow across the room as Alice leaned into Bucky, her lips meeting his in a slow, passionate kiss. As the kiss deepened, she moved to straddle him, her hands tangling in his hair, and she began to rock her hips slightly against him. Bucky’s breath caught, his hands instinctively finding her waist, holding her as desire surged between them.

For a heartbeat, it felt electric, an undeniable pull igniting between them. But then, Bucky stilled, his fingers tightening briefly on her hips before he gently but firmly lifted her and sat her beside him on the couch. The heat between them cooled in an instant, replaced by a tension Alice couldn’t quite interpret.

“I… I need a shower,” he mumbled hurriedly, not meeting her eyes as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom, leaving Alice flushed and longing, her heart sinking with confusion.

The air felt thick, suffocating. Alice’s chest tightened, her heart aching as she left for bed. The space between them was becoming more than just physical; it was emotional, and Alice could feel it growing wider with every passing second. She had tried so hard to be patient, to give him the space he needed. But with each quiet refusal, the doubt started creeping in. What if he didn’t want her? What if all this time, she had misread the signs? What if he couldn’t love her the way she loved him?

The next day, when Alice was feeling particularly raw, she decided to confront the silence that had settled between them. She had been avoiding it for as long as she could, but there was no more running from it. She had to know what was going on, what he was really feeling.

One evening, after a quiet dinner, Alice suggested they go to the rooftop to get some air and watch the fireworks that were being thrown that night. The sky had grown dark, and the city below them was alive with lights, but the distance between them felt more pronounced than ever.

They stood there, side by side, watching as the fireworks lit up the sky. It was a celebration of sorts – a tribute to the lives that had been restored, to the world that had somehow, against all odds, made it through. For a moment, Alice lost herself in the beauty of the lights, but her thoughts kept drifting back to him.

Alice tilted her head, her fingers fidgeting slightly as she gathered her courage. She turned to Bucky, her voice soft but carrying the weight of her vulnerability. “Are we… okay?” she asked, her heart thudding anxiously.

Bucky glanced at her, his blue eyes filled with a complicated mix of emotions – regret, affection, and worry. He opened his mouth, then closed it, as though the words he wanted to say were caught in his throat. “Yeah… yeah, we’re fine,” he finally said, though his voice wavered, and the uncertainty lingered.

Alice’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she couldn’t help the frustrated exhale that escaped her. “Bucky, please,” she urged, leaning in a little closer. “I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. You keep pulling away from me, and I don’t understand why.” Her voice softened, the fear in her eyes evident. “I just… I just wanna know if you want this. Want me.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched, and his hands turned into closed fists before he forced them to relax. He looked down, avoiding her gaze, and his fingers fumbled with the fabric of his shirt. “It’s just… I-I…” He took a deep breath, visibly struggling. “I just haven’t-”

Alice’s eyes widened, a teasing smile breaking through her worried expression. “Wait,” she interrupted, a note of disbelief and humour entering her voice. “Are you a virgin, Bucky?”

Bucky’s head snapped up so quickly that Alice almost expected him to get whiplash. His eyes went wide, and his face flushed bright red. “What? No!” he sputtered, his hands flying up in panic. “It’s not that!”

A laugh bubbled out of Alice, the tension easing ever so slightly, but Bucky groaned and covered his face with one hand. “Alice,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by his palm, “you’re killing me here.”

Alice giggled, nudging his shoulder playfully. “Hey, I had to ask! You looked so flustered.”

Bucky sighed, letting his hand drop as he shook his head, though his lips twitched upward at her laughter. “It’s just… I haven’t dated someone in so long,” he admitted, the humour giving way to vulnerability. He took a shaky breath, his eyes finally meeting hers. “And being in love with you… it feels like it’s the first time I’ve done this. The whole relationship thing.”

Alice’s playful grin softened as she listened, her heart aching at his honesty. Bucky continued, his voice low and sincere. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad. It wasn’t what I intended, really. I just… I wanna do things right with you. You’re too important to me.”

Her eyes glistened with tears she refused to let fall. Her smile grew gentle, and she reached out to take his hand, intertwining their fingers. “I… Bucky, it’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pressured you. Take your time. It’s totally fine, I swear.”

Bucky exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little. “I just… I wanna do this the right way, okay?” he repeated, his thumb brushing over her knuckles.

Alice’s heart felt like it might burst from the love she felt for this man. “I love you, Bucky,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

He smiled, his eyes crinkling in that way she adored. “I love you too, Alice,” he said, and then leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a soft, heartfelt kiss. The fireworks above seemed to echo their emotion, bursting with brilliance and joy as they held each other.

For a while, they sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying the warmth of being together and the magic of the night sky. The world felt a little less heavy, a little more bearable, as long as they had each other.

Then, after a few minutes, Alice’s curiosity got the better of her. She shifted slightly, her lips curling into a mischievous grin. “Hey, Buck?” she said, breaking the quiet.

“Yeah?” he murmured, his voice relaxed and content as he held her close.

Her grin widened. “You didn’t answer my question, though.”

Bucky pulled back just enough to look at her, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What question?” he asked.

Alice’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Are you a virgin?” she asked, drawing out the last word dramatically.

Bucky groaned, his cheeks flushing again as he threw his head back. “What-no, Alice,” he protested, laughing despite himself. “I’m not a virgin.”

Alice burst into laughter, and Bucky couldn’t help but join in, the two of them giggling like teenagers, the weight of the world momentarily forgotten. The fireworks continued to explode above, showering them in light, but nothing compared to the joy they found in each other’s arms.

As the laughter died down, the rooftop returned to a quiet stillness, the sky now painted with the remnants of the fireworks’ dazzling display. Alice and Bucky sat together, a comforting silence settling over them, though a new tension began to coil in Alice’s stomach. She leaned her head on Bucky’s shoulder, savouring his warmth, but the weight of a secret pressed down on her heart.

Bucky’s arm was wrapped securely around her, but he noticed the way her body tensed tightly. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice full of concern.

Alice hesitated for a moment, then forced a smile. “Yeah,” she replied, but the tightness in her chest didn’t ease. Her fingers played with the hem of her shirt nervously. She knew she had to tell him the truth, no matter how afraid she was of his reaction.

I have to tell him about what happened between me and Steve, she thought, her mind swirling with anxiety. The memory of her past relationship with Steve was something that she couldn’t keep from Bucky. He deserved to know, especially now that they were moving forward together.

But as she looked into Bucky’s kind, trusting eyes, the words caught in her throat. Not tonight, she decided. Not here, not like this. She swallowed hard and resolved to tell him after Tony’s funeral. It would be the right time, and he deserved to hear it directly from her.

Bucky watched her carefully, sensing there was more she wasn’t saying. But for now, he let it go, gently squeezing her hand. They stayed there on the rooftop, holding each other as the stars emerged one by one, a silent promise lingering between them that they would face whatever came next together.

The morning sunlight filtered gently through the curtains in Alice’s apartment, casting a warm, golden glow that spilled across the floorboards. The peaceful ambiance was a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotion still gripping Bucky. Alice lay fast asleep in the bedroom, her dark hair spilling across the pillow, her breathing even and calm. Bucky had slipped out of bed with care, moving as quietly as possible so as not to disturb her. He left a note on the kitchen counter, promising he’d be back soon, though he hadn’t given a hint as to where he was going.

The streets were eerily quiet as Bucky made his way to Steve’s apartment. He took the familiar route, memories flooding his mind – memories of the war, of decades lost to Hydra, of everything that had happened to him and Steve. And yet, here they were, still standing, still breathing, and still fighting, even after everything. But Bucky couldn’t shake the feeling of something coming to an end.

When he arrived at Steve’s place, the door was already ajar. He pushed it open gently, stepping inside to find Steve standing by the window, his back to Bucky. Sunlight spilled over Steve’s shoulders, making him seem both golden and impossibly weary. Bucky’s heart tightened in his chest; he knew his best friend well enough to sense the gravity of the moment before a single word had been spoken.

Steve turned around slowly, his blue eyes meeting Bucky’s. There was a calmness there, but it was layered with something else – something Bucky hadn’t seen in along time: peace, maybe, but also a deep, aching yearning.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted softly, his voice steady, but his eyes shimmering with a bittersweet kind of resolve.

“Hey, punk,” Bucky replied, though his attempt at levity fell flat. There was no masking the heaviness in his voice. He stepped closer, searching Steve’s face. “What’s going on?”

Steve exhaled a slow breath, his gaze drifting out the window for a moment before he looked back at Bucky. “When I went back to the 70s to get the stone,” Steve began, his voice low and thoughtful, “I saw her. I saw Peggy. And right then… I knew what I had to do.” His eyes grew distant, like he was reliving that moment. “I knew that was my chance, Buck. My chance to finally have the life I’ve always dreamed about. The life I never thought I’d get back.”

Bucky swallowed, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. “Steve…” he whispered, though he couldn’t quite form the words that needed to follow.

Steve’s lips curved into a small, wistful smile. “And then, during the battle, when I saw you and Alice together,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly, “it just made me realize it even more. Seeing you two find each other again, seeing you be happy… it hit me, you know? I want that for myself, too. I need it. I deserve to be happy, to be loved. And Peggy… she’s always been my girl. My happy ending.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, the full weight of Steve’s words crashing down on him. He stepped forward, his boots feeling heavy on the floor. “What are you saying?” he finally managed, though his voice sounded hollow, even to his own ears.

Steve’s smile was sad, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “Once I return the Stones, I’m gonna stay in the past. With Peggy. I’m not coming back this time.”

The room fell into a suffocating silence, the words hanging between them like a heavy, unbreakable truth. Bucky felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. “I… I don’t know what to say,” he whispered, his hands trembling slightly. He clenched his fists, trying to keep his emotions from spilling over.

Steve stepped closer, his gaze steady and unwavering. “Tell me I’m not making a mistake,” he pleaded, his voice breaking just a little. “Please, Buck.”

Bucky’s throat tightened, and he had to swallow hard before he could speak. His mind raced with memories – of Brooklyn, of alleyway scrapes and shared laughter, of the decades stolen from them both. But he saw something in Steve’s eyes that made his heart ache: a longing for peace, for a love he’d waited too long for. “No,” Bucky finally said, his voice thick with emotion. “No, you’re not making a mistake. You need this. You deserve to be happy, Steve. To be with Peggy, your girl, the love of your life.” He took a shuddering breath. “It’s just… I just got you back, and now I have to lose you again.” His voice broke, a tear spilling down his left cheek. “I’m gonna miss you like crazy.”

Steve’s own tears finally fell, and he pulled Bucky into a tight embrace. They clung to each other, two brothers who had endured so much, their bond unbreakable even in the face of this impending farewell. “I know,” Steve whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “I’m gonna miss you too, Buck.”

Bucky closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Steve’s shoulder, memorizing the feeling of this hug, the warmth and strength of the only brother he’d ever known. “Damn it, Steve,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Why does it always have to be like this?”

Steve pulled back slightly, just enough to meet Bucky’s eyes. His hands still rested on Bucky’s shoulders, as if he were holding on for dear life. “I wish it didn’t,” he admitted, a tear slipping down his cheek. “But this… this feels right.”

They stayed that way for a moment, holding each other, the unspoken love and pain between them palpable. Finally, Bucky stepped back, wiping at his eyes. “Have you told anyone about this yet?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Steve shook his head. “Nope, just you. I’m planning on going to Alice’s apartment later this evening to tell her.”

Bucky managed a small, sad smile. “Hum, okay. I’ll make sure I’m not there so you guys can have some privacy.”

Steve looked at him, slightly puzzled. “No, it’s okay, Buck. You don’t have to go.”

But Bucky insisted, his smile widening just a fraction. “You two should talk alone. I know how close you are.”

Steve’s eyes widened in surprise, a realization dawning on him. “Oh, you know?” he asked, his voice soft. For a moment, he wondered if Alice had already told Bucky about their past relationship. “And you’re… fine with that?”

Bucky chuckled softly, though his heart still felt heavy. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he replied, the sincerity in his voice clear.

Steve felt a small sense of relief, though a bit of surprise lingered. “Oh, okay,” he said. “How do you think she’ll react?”

Bucky took a moment, his mind drifting to Alice’s smile, her laughter, and the strength she carried in her heart. “Honestly,” he said, his voice warm and genuine, “I think she’ll be happy for you.”

Steve's expression softened, a mix of hope and gratitude crossing his features. “Thanks, Buck. That means a lot.”

Bucky hesitated, a nervous edge creeping into his demeanour. He rubbed the back of his neck, taking a deep breath before meeting Steve's eyes. “Speaking of Alice,” he began, his voice faltering for just a moment, “I’ve been thinking about something. Actually, a lot.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “What is it?” he asked, his concern for his friend momentarily pushing aside the heaviness of their conversation.

Bucky swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his next words. “I’m thinking about asking her to marry me.”

Steve’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell open slightly as the words sank in. For a moment, the room seemed frozen, the significance of Bucky’s confession wrapping around them like an invisible force. “You… you want to marry her?” Steve echoed, as if he needed to hear it again to truly believe it.

Bucky’s heart pounded as he shifted uncomfortably under Steve’s gaze. He nodded, a nervous smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I mean, I’ve thought about it for a while now. She even noticed I’ve been acting strange. Ever since we got everyone back… she’s my home, Steve. The way she makes me feel… it’s like, even with everything we’ve been through, there’s hope. A future.” His voice trembled, raw with honesty.

Steve’s initial shock melted into a slow, warm smile, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Bucky,” he said, his voice filled with genuine affection, “that’s… that’s incredible.” He clapped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, his eyes shining with happiness. “I’m so proud of you. And so happy for you both.”

Bucky let out a shaky laugh, a relief flooding through him. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice hopeful. “You think it’s a good idea?”

Steve nodded, his grin widening. “Absolutely. Alice is one of the strongest, most loving people I know. And you… you deserve this, Buck. You deserve to be happy and to build a life together.” Steve’s expression softened, a wistful glimmer in his eyes. “If anyone understands what it means to have found love after everything we’ve lost, it’s me.”

Bucky’s eyes glistened, and he looked away for a moment, trying to steady his emotions. “You really think I can make her happy?” he asked quietly, vulnerability seeping through his tough exterior. “After everything… the things I’ve done, the things she’s seen… she still deserves better.”

Steve squeezed his shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. “Hey,” he said, his voice steady and unwavering, “Alice chose you. She’s seen all of you, the good and the bad, and she still loves you. That’s real, Buck. And I know you’ll make her happy because you love her with everything you have.” Steve paused, his expression turning serious. “You’ve come so far. You’ve fought so hard to be the man you are now. You’re more than worthy of this, and don’t you ever forget it.”

Bucky’s throat tightened, and he found himself blinking back tears. “Thanks, Steve,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “That means everything, coming from you.”

Steve smiled, the kind of smile that reached his eyes. “So, when are you planning to ask her? Got a big, romantic plan?” he teased lightly, trying to add a bit of levity to the conversation.

Bucky chuckled, some of the tension easing from his frame. “I don’t know,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head. “I mean, it’s Alice we’re talking about. She’s not one for grand gestures. I want it to be… simple but meaningful. Something that shows her how much she means to me.”

Steve nodded, his eyes alight with understanding. “Knowing her, she’ll probably appreciate something heartfelt more than anything flashy. Just be yourself. Speak from the heart.”

Bucky’s lips curved into a genuine smile, the kind he didn’t often show. “Yeah,” he agreed, feeling a bit more confident. “That sounds like something she’d like.”

Steve’s expression softened with warmth. “She’s gonna be so happy, Buck.” His voice grew quiet. “And knowing that you two have found each other again… it makes all of this a little easier for me.”

Bucky swallowed, his gaze locking onto Steve’s. “We’re gonna miss you, you know,” he said, his voice heavy with sincerity. “But I understand. I really do.”

Steve’s eyes misted over, and he pulled Bucky into another hug, their bond speaking louder than words. “I’ll miss you too,” he whispered. “But knowing you’re happy, that you have a future with Alice… that makes this goodbye a little more bearable.”

They stayed like that for a moment, two brothers in arms, holding onto each other and the life they had fought so hard to reclaim. Finally, they pulled apart, both looking a little steadier, a little more resolute.

“Promise me you’ll take care of her,” Steve said softly, his voice full of unspoken love and trust.

Bucky’s gaze was fierce, his blue eyes blazing with a protective intensity. “Always,” he vowed. “With everything I have.”

As the evening settled over Harlem, the warm glow of streetlights spilled into Alice’s apartment, painting the walls in a golden hue. The day had felt long and surreal, filled with the quiet echoes of mourning, victory, and the crushing reality that they’d never be the same again. Alice stood at the kitchen counter, fiddling with a mug of tea she hadn’t touched, her thoughts a tangled mess of relief, grief, and worry.

Bucky had kissed her on the forehead before leaving. “I’ll grab us some pizza from that place you really like,” he’d said, the tenderness in his eyes almost enough to settle the unease in her chest. Almost. Alice had nodded, watching him walk out of the door, the click of the lock echoing in the silence that followed.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, trying to make sense of the ache she couldn’t seem to shake. The war was over, but not the pain. Not yet.

A soft knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts, and her heart skipped. “Coming,” she called, placing the mug down and heading to the door. When she opened it, she found Steve standing there, dressed in casual clothes that somehow seemed too normal, too ordinary, for someone who’d carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Hey, Ali,” Steve said gently, offering a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Steve,” she whispered, surprised. “Hey. Come in.” She stepped aside, and he walked in, his movement deliberate, as if he were carrying something fragile. As he passed her, Alice’s brows furrowed. Something about him seemed… different.

They stood in the middle of her living room, and odd, heavy silence hanging between them. Steve’s hands fidgeted, an unusual nervousness tightening his jaw. Alice’s worry spiked. “Is everything okay?” she asked, voice soft but tinged with concern.

Steve’s eyes found hers, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. He had always been her steady anchor, the man who carried too many burdens but never wavered. But now, he looked vulnerable, like a man who’d made peace with something he hadn’t dared to hope for in a long time. “Alice,” he began, his voice breaking slightly. “We need to talk.”

The air grew thick, and Alice’s heart thumped painfully in her chest. “Okay,” she said cautiously, gesturing for him to sit. They settled on the couch, side by side but worlds apart. Steve turned slightly to face her, and the intensity in his gaze nearly unravelled her.

“I’ve made a decision,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. “And I need you to hear me out, okay?”

Alice swallowed, her throat dry. “Okay,” she whispered.

Steve took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging. “When I went back to the 70s, I saw her. I saw Peggy.” His voice cracked, the pain and longing so raw it made Alice’s chest ache. “And for a moment, if felt like all the years, all the fighting, all the loss… it just fell away. I saw the life I could have had. The life I’ve always wanted.”

Alice’s eyes welled up, and she reached out instinctively, her hand resting on his. “Steve…”

He gave her a small, pained smile, covering her hand with his. “Alice, I’ve always been the man out of time,” he continued, his voice wavering. “I’ve tried to make peace with it, but I can’t. I’ve given everything, and now… I need to take something back. I need to be with her.”

The words sank in, and a tear slipped down Alice’s cheek. She wanted to be happy for him, to be relieved that he’d finally get what he deserved. But the thought of losing him again shattered something deep inside her. She had already lost Natasha and Tony. She didn’t want to lose Steve too. “You’re… you’re staying in the past,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Steve’s lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes glistening. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I’m staying with Peggy. I can’t keep being the man out of his time, Alice. I need this.”

Alice’s breath caught, and she tried to hold back the sob rising in her throat. “But we just… we just won,” she choked out. “We just got everyone back together, Steve. You’re my family. How… how am I supposed to say goodbye?”

Steve’s face crumpled, and he reached out, pulling her into a tight embrace. She clung to him, her tears soaking into his shirt, her heart shattering with the realization that this was goodbye. “I know,” he whispered, his own tears falling. “I know it’s not fair. But you’re strong, Alice. You’ve always been so strong.”

She pulled back slightly, her hands trembling as they cupped his face. “I’m strong because I had you,” she said, her voice breaking. “I don’t know how to be strong without you.”

Steve placed his hands over hers, his thumbs brushing her tears away. “You don’t have to be strong alone,” he said. “You have Bucky now. And he loves you more than anything. You two are gonna take care of each other. Promise me you’ll take care of each other.”

Alice sobbed, nodding even though it felt like her world was falling apart. “I promise,” she whispered. “But it’s not gonna be the same.”

“No,” Steve agreed, his voice thick. “It won’t. But you’ll be okay. Both of you.”

They stayed like that, holding each other. Steve eventually pulled back, his own face streaked with tears. “You know,” he said, his voice cracking but a smile tugging at his lips, “when I saw you and Bucky together, I knew you’d be okay. I knew you’d finally found the happiness you deserve.”

Alice let out a shaky laugh, her tears still flowing. “He means everything to me,” she whispered. “But so do you.”

Steve’s smile grew, even as his eyes remained sad. “And you mean everything to me,” he said. “I’m so proud of you, Alice. Of the person you’ve become.”

She took a shuddering breath, trying to etch every detail of this moment into her memory. “I’m proud of you too,” she said, her voice raw. “For everything.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their shared history pressing on them. Finally, Steve stood, his movements slow, like he was reluctant to leave. “I’ll see you again, you know,” he said, his smile soft. “In another time.”

Alice nodded, her heart breaking but her love for him burning brightly. “In another time,” she echoed, her voice trembling.

And with that, he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. When he pulled back, his eyes lingered on hers, filled with a love that would never fade, even across decades. Then he turned and walked out the door, leaving Alice to stand there, the echo of their goodbye ringing in her ears.

tags: @capswife

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scariusaquarius · 3 months ago

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rehab. 5.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

A/n: This chapter is going to contain some very dark and graphic scenes. Please read carefully. I'm really happy that you guys are enjoying the story! The comments are feeding me and motivating me so much, I really do appreciate the support. Also, you can read it here on my archive account as well!

Author: ScariusAquarius

rehab masterlist. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4

All through the night, Shuri had worked on dissecting the Winter Soldier's brain. When Bucky had swung by the lab in the morning, it seemed as though Shuri hadn't slept at all. Her space buns were now down, the freely-hanging braids swinging wildly as she walked around the cryostasis pod with quick paces.

Her brows were furrowed with annoyance, the princess cursing to herself in Xhosa as Okoye stood by, raising a brow at the profanities Shuri was listing off. Bucky was concerned, greeting her with a tilt of his head and holding out a cup of coffee for her.

"Good morning. Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Good morning, Sergeant Barnes. I admittedly lost track of time, but the programming is proving to be difficult. Every time I seem to get past the encryption, another layer pops up and tries to activate her. However, since she's in cryostasis, the activation is failing."

Bucky nodded, humming thoughtfully as he stared at the woman within the pod.

"Seems like they updated their programming to avoid another...well, me."

Shuri nodded, huffing as she glanced back at him.

"Exactly. I knew that she was going to be complex, but I didn't think to realize that they would install safeguards in such a way. I can do it, it's just frustrating."

Okoye hummed, quirking her brow slightly before snorting in amusement when Shuri glared back at her.

"She has been yelling profanities for the last two hours."

Shuri waved her off, not even gracing Okoye with a response. Instead, she gestured Bucky over, expanding the hologram of the woman's mind. Throughout her mind, Bucky could see pulses of...something...happening, and he glanced at Shuri when the woman asked.

"What do you see?"

"Um, it looks like there's a lightning storm flashing through her mind."

Shuri smiled, nodding.

"Precisely. The synapses of her brain are firing rapidly despite her being in cryostasis. Do you understand what this means?"

Bucky was quiet, shrugging slightly, and Shuri rolled her eyes before saying.

"She is dreaming, White Wolf."

Bucky was surprised, asking Shuri as she began to poke around the hologram, pulling up a couple sections.

"Wait, she is?"

"Yes, and with my technology, I've been able to see into these dreams."

Her expression became grim, eyes darting away from Bucky, and Bucky understood what her expression was saying. Whatever Shuri was able to see hadn't been pleasant in the slightest, which in a morbid way, Bucky wasn't even surprised. Almost wordlessly, she pulled up a particular image, explaining.

"I was only able to get glimpses and small portions of dreams due to HYDRA's programming kicking me out repeatedly, but from what I saw...it was truly horrific. The things that HYDRA did...the things it seems that she is remembering, or perhaps never forgot, are...they are horrific, Sergeant Barnes."

Bucky frowned deeply as looked at the images that Shuri was showing him. Some were of a familiar cell wall, some were of blurred faces that were familiar yet unknown at the same time, and there was one that made his stomach churn.

Blood. There was so much blood covering her naked thighs and pooled beneath her. Shuri had taken the time to carefully blur the soldier's vagina from view, but Bucky didn't even need to see it to know what they had done.

You're a super soldier, they would say. You can take it.

Bucky bit his tongue while his back stiffened considerably, and Shuri brought up a clip that began to play automatically. It seemed to be of a previous killing, the man on the ground looking up at the soldier fearfully as a bloody hand came into view.

He seemed to be begging, crying hard as the body of a child whose head was crushed and gushing with blood and destroyed brain matter laid within his lap. The soldier was holding a gun, and when the gun was fired, the clip ended.

"Were you able to do this with me as well?"

Bucky's tone was quiet, his words almost a whisper as he looked away from the clip, his breathing starting to accelerate slightly as Shuri swiped the clip away quickly.

"Definitely, but not to this extent. However, our work together helped to shape my technology into this."

Shuri gestured to the hologram with her hand before she glanced back at Bucky, pursing her lips as she grabbed another image and maximized it, showing the image of a blurry paper-crochet butterfly and small hands that were in the process of decorating the art project.

"There are a few memories that I was able to get to, though they are slightly miniscule; almost useless to us in figuring out who she is."

Another video came up, a short 10 second clip that showed the soldier in what looked to be a graduation or awards ceremony. There was an elderly-looking hand that was lifting a medal before pinning it to her chest, and Bucky's eyes widened.

"Wait a minute...that looks familiar. Can you clear up the image a bit?"

Shuri looked smug before winking as the image cleared, showing a medal that had an inscription engraved onto it. Bucky shook his head in surprise, saying as he uncrossed his arms in surprise.

"No wonder she's a ghost. She worked for the CIA."

The medal that the soldier had been given was for Career Intelligence, a reward that came from exceptional achievements and, if Bucky remembered right, the length of service. Shuri hummed, stating as she crossed her arms and glanced at the woman.

"Not all ghosts are completely untraceable. If I can get deeper into her mind and get more parts of her memories unlocked, I can attempt to figure out who she is a lot easier and faster."

Shuri then shook her head, huffing with frustration.

"The risk that comes with doing so, however, is that once she awakens and her mind is able to be more active, these memories have a chance of coming to her all at once. It will be an overwhelming and horrifying experience for her."

Bucky sighed heavily. If that happened, there was a risk that it could reactivate HYDRA's programming and she would become an active threat, and nobody wanted that.

Hell, his temple was still throbbing.

Bucky then glanced over at Shuri again when Shuri pointed to a hologram of a document with the CIA's official seal, maximizing the image and swiping a few of the scanned documents away.

"Because we know our soldier was a part of the CIA, I scanned through their database to see if I could find anything akin to the Winter Soldier program. While the CIA is involved in a super soldier project, I haven't found anything of use yet. And don't worry, I erased my tracks as soon as I made them."

Shuri smirked with a haughty glint within her eyes, and Bucky chuckled at her. He hummed after mulling through his thoughts for a moment.

"It's nice to know that we're getting closer to knowing who she is, but if you can't get past the firewalls of the algorithm...how would we reactivate her without wiping her?"

"I can put a temporary lock upon her most recent memories from the time she was awakened until now. That lock will slowly deteriorate over time, almost like a dissolvable suture, so it won't be permanent."

That was nice to know, at least. T'Challa's voice made Shuri and Bucky jump from the surprise, the two of them looking back at him as he walked inside of the lab.

"If our Isithunzi worked for the CIA before she became a Winter Soldier and was awarded for her work, then perhaps the next step would be to look at every single employee that was in service within the last 50 years that received recognition from the agency."

He was holding the black book within his hands, and T'Challa placed it down on a table beside one of the original Black Panther suits, the king regarding the two of them with a tired look. Shuri scoffed, waving him off before doing the Wakandan salute.

"Please, you always think so lowly of me. When I discovered this particular memory, I downloaded as much information as I could without tripping the CIA's cyber security systems. There's at least 75 years worth of information here. If we filter out employees that hadn't specifically received a Career Intelligence reward, we lower the number to at least five to 10 years."

Bucky was impressed, and he joked gently.

"You ever thought of becoming a spy?"

T'Challa pursed his lips in annoyance when Shuri laughed loudly.

"Not in your life, White Wolf. I like being my own boss."

"Unless the king says no."

Shuri didn't even grace T'Challa with a response, making the man roll his eyes and shake his head. T'Challa regarded Bucky with a hard gaze, asking him.

"Have you gotten in touch with the Captain to see if Tony or Natasha have found anything as well?"

"Not yet. I was kind of waiting on them to get in touch with me."

T'Challa nodded, and he suggested.

'You should tell the Captain what you have found. I am sure that he is eager to know what we have uncovered."

Bucky nodded despite the cryptic feeling that was twinging T'Challa's words, and he walked out of the lab into a deserted hallway, a couple of the Dora Milaje standing guard. Awkwardly nodding to them in greeting as he walked down the hallway, Bucky slipped out the phone within his pocket and frowned.

Despite the fact that he'd had the thing for a while, Bucky still couldn't quite grasp the fact that touch-screen was a thing. Hell, the last time Bucky had ever used a phone before HYDRA, it was to call his little sister, Rebecca, before he went to Europe with the 107th.

He could still remember the number for the Shelbyville operator, the specific number for Rebecca's telephone, and how calls were logged and billed for at the end of the month. Now, it took just dialing a number directly. Bucky's mind was still having a bit of trouble wrapping around the idea of call operators not really being a thing anymore.

Shaking his head slightly, Bucky called Steve, a quiet part of his mind wondering if Steve had felt this way before as well. The meaningless thought was squandered when Steve answered, sounding a bit out of breath as he spoke.

"Hey, Buck. Any progress yet on the woman?"

Bucky hummed, leaning against the wall as he glanced in the direction of the lab, replying.

"We got a bit of good information. Shuri's technology was able to get through to some parts of the woman's brain and reveal some memories of her. Apparently, she was a part of the CIA before she became a Winter Soldier."

Steve made a noise of surprise, stating.

"That makes things a bit easier. Tony wasn't really able to find a lot, and Natasha hasn't even combed the surface of the databanks we acquired."

"She's a complete ghost, so I don't know if it'll help. There's something else, though..."

Bucky's voice trailed off for a moment, his surprise hitting him again before he informed Steve.

"...the woman's dreaming. Shuri had a live hologram of the woman's brain up, and she said that the synapses of her brain were firing in a way that was common with dreaming."

"Which means the woman might be remembering things...that's good, right?"

The image of the woman's bloodied legs came to Bucky's mind, and he tightened his grip on his phone, muttering.

"I don't...I don't know. Some of the images that Shuri was able to capture of the woman's dreams and memories...they weren't pleasant."

Steve was quiet for a moment, and he replied with a stern tone of voice.

"We'll get this figured out and we'll find out who she is. If not...then we can help her become a new person...a completely clean slate."

Bucky didn't comment on the way that Steve said 'we' and instead rubbed a hand over his face, muttering.

"The CIA seems to have a super soldier project, but it's not confirmed that the CIA had any volunteers that we know of...it's mainly rumors and ideas."

Bucky added as he watched T'Challa and Shuri leave down the opposite hall, their steps quick and purposeful.

"It's possible there were HYDRA agents within that stole information on the serum, or the serum itself, that the CIA was concocting and grabbed some random woman off of the side of the street. They, as well as HYDRA, have the ability to scrub a person completely off of the radar, and nobody is gonna be looking for a nobody."

Steve was firm, and Bucky knew the man had to be shaking his head at him as Steve slightly scolded him.

"That's not true. There's always going to be someone...we just don't know if that someone is alive or dead. According to that book we found, she's been an active soldier for HYDRA since 1985, and who knows how long she was there before she was created. 30 years is a long time."

"Yeah? Try 70."

Steve was quiet, and Bucky apologized quietly, revealing gently.

"Sorry...I'm sorry...it's just...it's a lot."

Steve's voice was gentle with patience, making Bucky furrow his brows as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I know, Bucky, but I'm with you till the end of the line. You know you can call me at any time and talk to me."

"I know. I'm with you till the end of the line, too, pal."

Steve then groaned gently when the sound of an explosion went through the phone, and he was quick to inform Bucky.

"Hey, I gotta go. Queens just crashed in. Literally. Call me if you get any updates, and I'll call you if I get one first."

Before Bucky could respond, the line went dead, and Bucky shook his head and slipped his phone back into his pocket. Walking back into the lab, Bucky came to stand in front of the cryostasis pod.

Hands within his pockets, he stared at the woman, gazing at the scars that covered her lower jaw and neck, and he watched as the live feed of her brain began to become active again.

An alert showed up along with a video, and Bucky was astounded to realize that it was a live feed of the dream the woman was currently having. It was a bit jarring to watch, bits and pieces becoming jumbled and blurry, and then it began to become clear.

The woman was standing before a man that Bucky knew very well, his face crystal clear to him and sparking rage deep within his chest. Bucky watched as Rollins spoke to her, and though there was no audio to be able to hear what he was saying, Bucky knew it wasn't pleasant.

Rollins seemed angry, walking back and forth in front of her before striking her down with a baton, the view shifting to the floor as the soldier fell and blood splattered onto the ground as if the woman had coughed.

From there, it only got worse, and Bucky had to turn away the second the soldier began to unbuckle the man's belt with bloodied hands, his anger becoming too much. Anger, regret, recognition, it was too much for Bucky to handle.

He could feel his chest restricting, could feel the oxygen becoming harder to breathe, and a tingling sensation began to grow within his toes and fingers.

Flashes began to appear within his own mind, images of the Enforcer's hosing his naked body with ice-cold water before they began to touch him; reaching for places he didn't want to be touched.

He could feel their teeth in his flesh, could hear the echoes of their taunts as they laughed menacingly, and Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as he began to tremble and feel disgusted by his own body. A voice within his head began to speak to him gently; familiar and comforting as it guided him.

Breathe, Bucky.

In and out. Slowly. You are not their tool anymore. They can't hurt you. You're free.

Bucky repeated the words in his head over and over, as many times as he could.

I'm free. I'm free. I'm free. I am James Buchanan Barnes. I am Bucky.

Swallowing thickly, it took a little while for his heartrate to settle, and he stood upright, rubbing his chest slightly. Closing his eyes, Bucky could feel the tears starting to well up within his eyes, and he took a few more deep breaths.

Turning back to the screen, he was thankful that the image was gone. Instead, the woman seemed to be dreaming of a wooded area, the point-of-view looking down at a plaque that was placed within stone In the peripheral vision, there was a little kid's hand that was grabbing at one of the flowers that was surrounding the plaque.

It was so peculiar to Bucky to the point that he was completely jarred out of his panic. Squinting, he began to realize that this plaque was familiar, especially when the name on the plaque became clear.

Meltzer Woods.

He knew that name and place. In fact, Bucky could recall the trails like the back of his hand, could still smell the wildflowers, and if Bucky really thought hard enough, he could still hear the way his mother scolded him as Rebecca became upset by Bucky teasing her.

"Come, now, James. Leave your little sister alone."

He could still remember the way Rebecca had squealed, though time had taken away what exactly she had panicked over. He recalled that his mother had placed her hands on her hips, giving him a stern gaze when Bucky had talked back to her; exasperated as Rebecca began to cry.

"But Ma, we're in the woods! Of course there's going to be bugs!"

"Now, don't you give me that lip. You don't want your father to hear, do you?"

The memory slowly faded, but Bucky was too floored to care.

What had the soldier been doing in Shelbyville, Indiana? Did she know the place like he did? Was this from a time before she had been with HYDRA?

"You look as though you have seen a ghost!"

Shuri was back, giving him an odd look as Bucky stared at the woman in the cryostasis pod, and all Bucky could respond with was-

"I think I did."

STORY NOTES: Shuri has been working endlessly to get past HYDRA's programming. She is verbally and visibly frustrated, which Bucky becomes concerned about as he greets her. Shuri reveals that she had lost track of time because of HYDRA's programming continuously throwing up more firewalls that try to activate the soldier every time she managed to break through another.

Bucky comments that HYDRA seems to have updated their algorithms since his departure. Shuri then shows Bucky a live feed of the digital rendition of the soldier's brain, telling Bucky to list off what he observes. Bucky observes that the activity within the brain looks like a lightning storm, which Shuri agrees and elaborates.

It is revealed that the soldier is currently dreaming despite being in cryostasis, and Shuri reveals that she has developed a technology that allows her to be able to show what a person is dreaming about. Using this technology on the soldier, however, reveals the gruesome treatment HYDRA inflicted and the brutality of the Winter Soldier.

Shuri's technology is able to access and project dreams in the same way, and she shows Bucky a memory the soldier had about receiving a medal. Bucky recognizes the medal, and it's revealed that the Winter Soldier had been involved with the CIA at some point on a professional level.

T'Challa makes a recommendation to Bucky to get in touch with Steve, and Bucky agrees. He reflects on the advancements of communications technology and how he had to speak to an operator to call his sister when he was still int he ARMY. Bucky then tells Steve about what Shuri had found, and he also reveals that the woman is dreaming.

After his phone call, Bucky goes back to the lab and is angry when he is shown a memory that the soldier is currently remembering of her Handler, which Bucky recognizes as Jack Rollins. Bucky begins to experience a PTSD episode where he begins to remember when Enforcers sexually assaulted him during a hose-down.

Once he calms down, Bucky recognizes a place that the soldier is now dreaming of: Meltzer Woods. He recalls a memory of him, his parents, and his little sister going to the trails all of the time since Meltzer Woods is located in his hometown of Shelbyville, Indiana, and when Shuri comes in and comments about how Bucky looks as though he's seen a 'ghost', he comments that he might have. End Scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

Isithunzi - Xhosa for [the] shadow/shade

TAGLIST: @mgchaser @tilldeathripsusapart @vicmc624 @aash3

105 notes · View notes

bestfriend491 · 2 years ago

Note

Hey. I'm sorry to ask this, but my mental health isn't doing so good lately. Ramonda is my comfort character. Could I maybe ask you to write something where she takes care of a F reader who struggles with nightmares about a past abusive relationship? Maybe she holds reader, and promises reader will always wake in her arms?

~ Holding you tight tonight

Queen Ramonda x Female Reader

Summary: There comes a time when one must be honest about their past. When your turn arrives, Ramonda's more than ready to listen.

Author's note: I am so sorry this one took long to deliver in particular. I wanted to get it out quickly for the beautiful anon (I hope you're doing okay now, though) but I had some bad avoidance with writing for the past few months. Luckily, I'm slowly getting there. I hope you enjoy. Tell me how you like it.

Word Count: 6.2k

Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: A little Self-deprication, brief mentions of past abusive relationship, tears and panic

“You don’t have to leave places where you are wanted, merely because other places have rejected you” - A

“My queen, we are home.” Ramonda heard the words of the General from where she sat. They were on the quinjet, with Okoye flying it.

She looked up, having been too preoccupied to notice the horizon of her home country coming into view.

Okoye, noticing the obvious absent-mindedness of the queen, turned to look at her. Seeing that she’d been writing something down, she raised a brow.

“Are you planning something, Kumkanikazi?”

The queen, smiling now at the notes she’d been making, nodded her head in confirmation. “Just something special for me and Y/n.”

At the mention of your name, Okoye needed no further explanation as to why the queen was preoccupied. In the three years that the two of you had been together, if it was about you, she knew that Ramonda would be going above and beyond.

The same went for what she was planning right then. Simply put; it was a date. One where you and her would spend the evening in your shared room, or out in the garden, just enjoying your reunification.

Ramonda had been out on travel for a few weeks, unable to see you. It felt like a foreign concept, being away from you for so long. She’d been lucky enough to have rescheduled any travels when you’d just moved into the palace, not long after she’d proposed to you.

Though you were familiar with being in the palace since even before your relationship started, she still wanted to make sure that she didn't leave you alone until you were comfortable. Surprisingly, she made it 4 months before her travels could no longer be postponed, delegated or cancelled.

Though you’d assured her that you’d be okay, she’d still stayed worried from the moment she left. The nightly calls that you had to check up on each other became less about her updating you on how the alliance proceedings with the other nations were going, and more about you reassuring her that you were okay.

With all that time away from you, all she wanted was to be close to you. To refresh the fading memories of small things you did. To see the creases by the edges of your eyes when you smiled. To hear your boastful laugh whenever she said something you thought was comical.

She wanted to see you in your happy state. Doing all your happy state things. And the best way she knew how to get you there was with a date. Just you and her.

“Do you think you could dismiss all the Dora working on our wing of the palace tonight? I know she’s not a huge fan of them being around in the later hours.” Ramonda went on to ask, unintentionally including Okoye in her date planning.

Okoye went on with what she said, letting her throw ideas out to see if they sounded okay. By the time the quinjet landed in the royal hangar, Ramonda was sure that she had a finely planned date on her hands.

The two women were met with Aneka standing outside of the vehicle, smiling in greeting. With pleasantries out of the way, Ramonda continued looking down at her notes, Aneka on her left, and Okoye on her right.

“What have you got there my queen?” the former asked.

Ramonda angled the notebook towards the other woman, letting her read off of it.

Aneka nodded in understanding, a soft “oh” leaving her lips as she smiled at the revelation.

Though most of the Dora were close to the queen, sharing a respectful bond with her as their ruler, some of the Adored Ones got more than just that. Some, like the General, or even sweet Aneka got those glimpses of unprofessionalism. The hints of times when Ramonda was no longer the queen of the nation. Rather, just a friend who talked about the love of her life just as any other person would.

“How is she?” the queen found herself asking Aneka. The call she’d had with you only hours before seemed promising enough but she still needed an outside witness of assurance.

Aneka seemed slightly stumped by the question, looking for words that usually came quite easily to her. Okoye, knowing how lacking the woman could be in subtlety, cleared her throat as a signal; get to the point, soldier.

“She’s well!” She quickly let out, in a higher pitch than she normally spoke in. Seeing the pained look of embarrassment on the General's face, she tried again. “She looks refreshed… is what i mean. Very well rested.”

Ramonda sighed at that, relieved that her absence hadn’t brought you sleep problems. You’d looked beyond tired when she’d left, and she’d spent many hours worried that her departure was the reasoning for this.

She didn't notice the look of concern taking over the General’s face at Aneka’s words.

“Aneka…” the General started to speak, angling her head to the side. Another signal. What actually happened?

The normally outspoken Dora Milaje grew nervous at that, making it very obvious to even the least vigilant that there was definitely something missing from her story.

Unfortunately, Ramonda wasn’t being even the least bit vigilant.

Her body and mind were elsewhere as they entered the palace, making their way to her living-quarters. She was searching for you in anticipation, waiting to see your frame enter her view and brighten her day.

When she finally did see you, unknowingly coming out of your shared room to her and the Dora looking at you, she was overcome by relief.

“Y/n. My love.” you raised your head, knowing that voice as coming from one woman and one woman only.

“Sthandwa sam…” you let out breathlessly, a surprised smile coming to your face as you approached her.

Ramonda wasted no time separating from the two women that had accompanied her to go to you. The two of you were reunited in a warm embrace.

“You’re back early.” you expressed, taking in her serene scent and light energy.

“The last meeting was cancelled so I told Okoye that we should leave early and surprise you.”

You laughed at that, “I'm sure she was all too pleased to hear you talk about me for weeks on end.”

“She’s polite where she can be, but she’s definitely sick of hearing your name.” you both laughed at that.

When the two of you finally detached from each other, She took a good look at you. You looked just as Aneka had described. Refreshed and well rested. Ramonda found herself looking at you in complete amazement.

She never could get used to looking at your beautiful face and knowing that it was all hers to look at.

She looked at what you were wearing, noticing that you were still in more formal attire.

“Do you have somewhere to be, my love?”

“I was just rushing here to find something I forgot for work. I still have to go back.”

Ramonda nodded in understanding. She smiled at you for a little while longer, holding your hands in hers for a moment before fully letting go of you.

“I’ll be back by 6.” you said, before leaning in to kiss her softly. She remained with a smile plastered on her face, now having a lingering tingle on her lips.

“I’ll see you then, my love.” Ramonda said, kissing you once again for that euphoric feeling before letting you go on with your day.

Though she usually grew slightly sad when you had to work long hours, in her mind now, this gave her plenty of time to prepare everything without worrying about whether you would catch her or not.

With her mind back onto her original intentions for the day, she turned to where she’d last seen the two Dora that were with her. Surprisingly, she was met with only Aneka behind her, wearing a rather guilty look on her face.

“Where did Okoye go?” She asked, gaining only more hesitation from the Adored One.

“I informed her of a task that needed to be done… elsewhere, My Queen.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, no, not at all. Everything is well with the nation, Queen Ramonda.”

Feeling satisfied enough with that, Ramonda breathed out a sigh, returning back to her warm and loving expression. She let out a chuckle or two. “Good. I was starting to think you already needed me to leave for another nation again.”

Aneka tried her best to give off the same lighthearted emotion, but failed as her eyebrows creased in worry.

Ramonda entered the room finally, trading her more uncomfortable pieces of clothing for some more homely attire.

Once in the clear, she announced her decency to Aneka, who further let herself into the room. She watched as the queen went about looking around at where she’d place everything for later on in the night, and the thing that had been on the tip of her tongue seemingly since the royal figure had arrived finally came to the surface.

“You know, Queen Ramonda… there was actually-” She stopped when the queen looked directly at her with intrigue. Suddenly feeling the weight of her impending words. “There was something that I meant to inform you of when you first arrived. Something about when you were gone.”

“The Dora didn’t wreck another one of the training rooms, did they? Ramonda laughed to herself, clearly not noting down the tension building in the room.

“No,” Aneka tried to laugh off with her, but then realised that she needed to get to it before she missed her chance, “It’s about Y/n.”

Now, Ramonda was focused. “What about her?”

“Do you remember how you told us to keep an eye on her for the first few days just to make sure that she was okay?”

Ramonda nodded at the question.

“Well, we did that. Or at least I did that. I always did a morning, afternoon and evening visit just to see how she was coping. But after a few mornings, I noticed that I would catch her coming into your room rather than leaving.”

“Like she was waking up early?”

“No. Like she was breaking back in after sneaking out.” Aneka clarified. Ramonda’s expression grew serious at this implication.

“So what you’re trying to say is…”

“What I'm trying to say is that I don't think Y/n spent a single night here after you left. I didn’t ask her, so I could be wrong, but I think she went back to her house by the river.”

Ramonda sounded speechless, “I thought she sold that place.”

“I did too, but according to the people who lived near her, that place was never sold.” Aneka went on to explain, as she’d spent a significant amount of time talking to farther away residents of the river. People who likely lived closer to your old home than they did to her and Ayo’s.

Aneka approached Ramonda in worry now that the news was out. Fearing that she’d grow sick from stress. Instead of welcoming the approach though, Ramonda waved her off. “I’m okay, Aneka. I just- I need time to think about this. You can have the rest of the day off. I’ll sort all of this out.”

“Should I still tell the others to leave this side of the-'' Aneka asked, unsure of whether this meant the date was cancelled.

“Yes. Everything will proceed as intended. I just need some time with her. Alone." She emphasised, feeling herself grow more uneasy at her own assertion.

The still worried Dora Milaje nodded, crossing her arms over her chest once before leaving the room.

Without the added presence, Ramonda felt herself starting to see the room she was in with a new perspective. She sat on a chair, looking at the grandly sized place in its totality.

It was clean. It smelt of potpourri. Strong potpourri. The type of strong that could only be achieved for a few minutes after a deep clean. Before the scents would shift to more signature ones owned by the bodies that entered the room.

That scent wouldn’t be there had you been living there. Not unless there had just been a deep clean, and as far as the queen knew, that wasn't on schedule for the day.

Looking then at the bed and the tables that laid on each side of them, she had another realisation. The drawers, the tables, the bed; they all looked untouched. Not lived in.

Had she been so caught up in wanting to make you feel at home that she'd slowly chased you away? That had to be the answer. You told her everything. She'd have known if you had affairs to attend to that required weeks of sleeping elsewhere.

Though her mind briefly thought of possible infidelity, she took that off the list of possibilities faster than the time that the idea took to formulate. This matter didn't involve anybody but the two of you.

This was a personal matter.

And if Ramonda knew one thing about confronting personal matters with you, she knew that it took 3 things. Time, patience, and a little nudge.

Tonight would indeed proceed as she'd intended. This date would be her nudge.

She just hoped she wouldn't push you too far.

“Hm.” Ramonda heard you sigh next to her. She looked in your direction, a smile spreading across her lips as she watched you try to form words.

“What?” She asked, eager to know what that hum meant.

“Nothing,” you laughed, your hand finding hers instinctively. “I just didn’t think this would have been your favourite movie.” you pointed your head towards the tv screen that showed a stream of naming credits relating to the movie you’d watched.

“What did you expect, my love?” She questioned, raising your intertwined hands to her lips; kissing them gently.

You felt yourself shift closer to her warm body, leaving a large gap on the side of that bed that you’d been on only moments before. You snuggled up close to her, cuddling her as you looked at your intertwined hands.

“I didn’t expect anything, specifically. I just didn’t think romantic comedies were your thing.”

Ramonda let out a full belly chuckle. Short, direct, but loving. Kind of how she'd been the entire night.

“Don’t I look like the romantic type?” she asked, and after being met with your playful hesitation, “I planned this beautiful date, didn't I?” you nodded at that.

“And it was good, wasn’t it?”

You looked up at her, the distance between your lips suddenly becoming noticeable to you. And though you knew she was asking the question matter-a-factly, your want to kiss her after the effort she’d put into the day felt like the most appropriate answer.

Your eyes being fixed on said lips told her everything she needed to know about how you liked the day, but still she waited. Wanting to hear it from you directly.

“You did, sthandwa sam. And it was a good date.”

WIth your stamp of approval, she relented, letting her excited smile escape from its regular confinement.

You had a feeling that she'd wanted to get everything just right tonight. And though you’d been dating for a while, you knew that she still felt that hesitation that surrounded you all the time. You sensed how much she wanted to give you a day where none of that hesitation was needed.

You hoped that the way you’d been looking at her all day gave her some type of reassurance that she'd done her duty well. You hoped it made her feel certain enough to ignore whatever she might have heard from the others.

You'd seen Aneka and Okoye speaking when you'd first seen Ramonda earlier, and although all your attention went to your fiancée, you weren't as oblivious as she was in relation to what they were likely talking about.

Okoye had gone down the same hall path as you, choosing to catch up to you when you'd both left the conversation.

"General Okoye." You nodded and smiled at her as you walked.

"Y/n." She acknowledged.

You subtly tried to attempt walking at a brisker speed, failing to do so without catching the General’s attention. She matched your pace at every increase, even letting out a few chuckles at your sad attempt to get away from her.

"Do you need something, General?" you asked, finding yourself slowing down to accommodate a comfortable walking conversation.

"No, but I feel inclined to ask you that same question."

"If I need something?"

"Mhm." She nodded.

"Well, I don't believe that I do."

She looked at you sceptically, "Is that so?"

You were nearly at the doors to the palace, knowing that this conversation had to get somewhere if you wanted to make it back on time for the rest of your work shift.

You fully stopped walking, turning to Okoye, who did the same. "Does it look like my answer should be on the contrary?" You huffed, getting frustrated.

"That's not my place to say. What is my place to say, however, is that whatever you may or may not have needed while the queen was gone was observed by more than just yourself." She pointed in the direction of where you'd left Ramonda and Aneka.

"I don't know what it is that happened, but my advice to you would be to give her details before she starts coming to her own conclusions."

She left you with only that, a soft smile of concern planted on her face as she went on with her required duties.

That one sentence had sent chills down your spine, your mind stuck on it for the remainder of your afternoon, and most of your night.

Now, you still thought of what she'd meant. On whether it was what you thought she meant. That you'd been found out in that one way that you'd somehow kept secret for so long.

Now, looking at how late it was, your anxiety grew to its peak.

That old hesitation that you'd been trying to hide for the whole night caught wind again, strengthening enough to peek through your once smiling face. Now a frown plastered itself on your lips.

“It’s getting late.” you said bluntly. More to yourself than to her.

“Are you tired, sthandwa?" Ramonda asked, drawing. circles on your arm with her free hand.

You nodded.

“We can go to sleep if you'd like. Three movies seems like more than enough for one night.” She smiled at you again, loosening her hold on you to pack everything up for the night. You watched as she rose from bed, watching you with those always loving eyes. You felt a sudden pit of anxiety seeing it. A feeling that needed immediate confrontation.

“I’ll pack these away.” you said, getting up from where you were and grabbing the uneaten snacks from the side tables ready to go out of the door with them.

“It's fine. I’ll just take-.” you heard her start to say, but you were already halfway out of the door before she could finish. You raced down the hall of your section of the dwelling, finding that your mind was working on autopilot getting you where you needed to go.

You moved through the halls, tears threatening to fall already as you made your way to the kitchen.

You heard a few muffled mentions of your name coming from where you'd just been but its lack of volume increase gave you enough information to know that Ramonda wasn’t approaching you.

You still had time.

You rushed around, finding yourself in the kitchen putting everything where you remembered it usually sat.

Heart racing, you felt yourself getting to one of the spare bathrooms. Going straight to the sink, you finally got the first look at yourself for the night, and one thing was very clear. You were panicked.

"It's just sleep." You said, trying to ration with yourself.

"Just sleep." You said it more than a few times, thinking, hoping that one of the attempts would end in you believing yourself. Hoping that one of them would end in you having the epiphany of a lifetime, where it all clicked and it really was just sleep.

Instead, though, when the repeated words hit the +10 mark, one of them ended in tears. Hot tears that burned your eyes getting out and left an even hotter feeling on your cheeks as they rushed down.

Old memories of life in the palace before Ramonda left came to mind. All the nights where you pretended to sleep just so she wouldn't worry. Where you pretended to have been well rested every morning just so she'd go on with her day not being worried about you. Where you hid in corners soothing yourself when you had chosen to sleep, only to be met with nightmares that woke you up anyway.

With all those feelings still fresh, you knew that you couldn't go back to that. Telling her wasn't an option but hiding it from her wasn’t either.

"I need to go." you opened the tap, letting water rush into your cupped hands before you brought your hands to your face, letting the water wash over you. The cold temperature of it reset your body, the tears slowing down and your breathing stabling.

The water did nothing for your unbalanced mind, though. You were still set on your words. You were leaving.

You wiped your face down with a towel, washed your hands and left the room, contemplating whether to let Ramonda know you weren’t staying or not.

You heavily considered it, even walking in the direction of your room, but at the last minute, you turned, deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble. You weren't worth the trouble.

I'll be back; you told yourself.

You'd come back tomorrow and you'd tell her that something came up and you had to go. You doubted that she'd believe you but it would be better to do that than tell her the truth.

Reaching the front entrance of the palace, you found yourself more overwhelmed than relieved, feeling more weight on your shoulders. You walked around, finding yourself nearing the garden. Off to a corner you saw a bench. The one that you'd discovered all those months ago. The one you’d sat on most nights while Ramonda slept.

You sat, gripping the edges of your seat as a means to ground yourself. You were in no shape to get yourself all the way to the river province. Your best solution was to sit there for a while.

You thought about how ridiculous you were being, avoiding the love of your life all because of something as trivial as nightmares. But it wasn't nearly as simple as that.

There was that history. That poisonous history with the person who had broken you in ways that never felt fixed all the way.

Ramonda was nothing like your ex. She was kind and gentle where your ex was rude and aggressive. She was patient where your ex was short tempered. She was genuinely loving where your ex was hateful with a fake loving disguise.

Ramonda was everything you needed her to be, and yet somehow that only made you feel less worthy of her.

Don’t leave. Don‘t leave. Don’t leave; you tried to tell yourself

But at the back of your mind the words that plagued your body during the day and terrorised your mind at night were seemingly always the strongest opponent in the battle.

Just leave, just leave, just leave; they used to say. Reminding you of how disposable you were to your ex. If you were disposable to them, then what difference was it to Ramonda? A queen. You were an inconvenience at best.

You’d always heard of people saying that past relationships could ruin your perception of love and life, but they always said it got better.

For you, that wasn’t the case, because if it were, you wouldn't be sitting there, years after you’d escaped, with the same words still running through your mind.

You wouldn’t be fearing the thought of sleeping every night and you wouldn't be hiding from the woman you loved trying to come up with more lies to tell her.

Tears were once again forming.

"My love?" You jumped at Ramonda's voice, startled more at her sudden appearance than you were of her serious tone.

You turned, looking up. Another fake smile being thrown her way.

“I'm okay.” You said before she could even ask. You wiped at your face instinctively, knowing that the tears would come down and expose your words as being false.

She approached you slowly, going down to sit next to you.

"Sthandwa sam, what's going on?" She was resorting back to the way she spoke to you when you were still in the early days of dating. Lacing her voice with the once emotion that got you to open up. Desperation.

"I thought I'd be back tomorrow." You said, and though you knew that the thought of you wanting to leave probably hurt her, she still held you as you found yourself placing your head on her shoulder. Needing to feel that sense of safety.

This small action was monumental. Not completely untouched territory, but unfelt. Unexperienced by you.

It’d taken months to convince you to let her show you that she could love you. It took twice as long for you to truly believe her when she said she did.

If there was one thing she knew about you, it was how long it took you to ease up your walls when it came to romance, and how easily you backed away whenever you were even slightly unsure of yourself. She didn’t want what was supposed to be a good day to end up becoming the reason you were 10 steps backwards in your trust again. And you knew that she was fighting to keep you for that reason alone.

You knew that if she let you leave, this version of you wouldn’t be the one to come back to her. It would be a more deceptive one. One that was better at executing your lies.

In all 3 years of your partnership, you'd never resisted the temptation to leave like you did now. You'd never been sick of the deception like you were now.

“I-” Ramonda ran through her mind trying to find something, anything to say.

“Are we okay?” she asked, because she needed to know. You failing to leave didn't mean that you wanted to stay.

“Sthandwa sam,” you sighed. All previous desires that you’d had to go without explanation flying out of the window at those words. Words you knew all too well.

You sat closer to her, not even a centimetre separating you. “We’re okay.” you reassured her.

A sigh of relief left her system, though she tried to make it seem unintentional.

“Today was perfect. You’re perfect.” you started, “I don’t want to go. But, I have- ” you stopped yourself there.

“You have what?” she asked.

“I can't.” you said, suddenly realising that your excuse lacked validity.

“What’s wrong?” She said in a tone so gentle, you nearly melted.

You tried to smile it off, “It’s nothing.”

Not taking that, she led her hand to your cheek, cupping your face.

“It’s not nothing.” she counter-argued. The glistening of your eyes told her that much.

“It's nothing reasonable. I mean.”

“So tell me…”

Breathless now, you couldn’t take your eyes off hers.

“I’m not a good sleeper.” you kept it brief.

Ramonda, though sceptical, felt her expression soften. “Meaning?”

“I’m restless and I wouldn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“I can handle a little disruption.” She smirked.

“I wouldn’t call it little, Ramonda.”

“Well you've never disturbed me before. Why are suddenly worried about that now?”

You fell silent then, your body still with fear. Before you knew it, she was wiping tears away.

Embarrassed, anxious, and all other types of uncomfortable, you tried to get away from her, standing up.

“Please- don’t leave.” you heard. Again, it was firm and confident. But it was also thinly laced with a concern for you that only Ramonda possessed.

Your mind rushed with memories of earlier in the day. When you’d arrived back at the palace after work only to be greeted by just Ramonda. No Dora, no crown. Just the figure of her that bore no burden other than loving you.

That burden showed more that she’d have liked to admit. And though she always heavily denied that it was just that - a burden- something always rang at the back of your mind, telling you that she was lying. That she was holding the world up trying to please you and it was weighing her down more than ruling an entire country ever could.

Still, with that she welcomed you into her world once again. Knowing that you had one foot out of the door from the very beginning, but still holding some hope that maybe you’d choose to let the one inside the door lead you.

With a calming day indoors, filled with your usual banter and conversation. You knew that she thought it was going well. In your heart, you wanted it to be going well too. But that cloud of doubt never ceased to exist above you.

“I’m sorry.” you said. You were chuckling at yourself now, swiftly wiping your tears away before taking a deep breath in.

"I'm a mess and I can't tell you why." You lied again, deciding to pile on as many as you could now.

She stood up, "Come inside, my love. It'd be much easier to work this out without being in the cold." You couldn't disagree, nodding acceptingly, allowing her to wrap her arms around you and lead you back inside.

You can’t leave now. You'll have to wait until she makes you go. Which won’t take long; you thought.

She guided you inside of your room, letting you settle yourself on your side of the bed before sitting next to you.

You sat in an uncomfortable silence, Ramonda waiting to let you calm down more. When you seemed more stable, but you still refused to say anything, she sighed looking up at the ceiling.

"Aneka told me that you still have your old place by the river." She started. Your focus immediately went to her, her hand rushing to find hers. She let you hold her hand, but still she couldn't look at you.

"Is it true?"

"It's not lik-" you started, sighing and trying again, "Yes." Now she looked at you.

"My love...” You heard her whisper.

"It's not you. It's never been you."

"Then what is it?"

"It's… it's… complicated"

You spoke like you were ready to leave.

"I've got all night. We can uncomplicate it."

"I don't think it could really work like that, sthandwa."

“Why won’t you at least try to tell me so I can see for myself whether that is true?”

“Because if I do, and I am right, it’ll break me 10 times more than the first time.”

“What was the first time?”

Tired of the back and forth, and quite frankly tired of the secrets, you relented. "I have these nightmares…" you started to explain it all to her. From the very beginning.

You described the memories of you and your ex. The moments where the love that you had built suddenly turned into hate from them. How you could feel your uncertainty about them build up overtime. And how that feeling of safety that you'd often had before, faded into a mere foreign concept.

You told her about the worst days. When the abusive and toxic nature of the relationship had started to seep into your mind, flooding your thoughts even when you were far away from them.

You continued as Ramonda held you closely, listening to your every word.

"When I left, the nightmares started. Heightened memories of our worst days. The days when their words got to me the most. I stopped feeling safe entirely. My life, dictated by their words. I lost control of myself.” You wiped away your now, few tears, finding yourself thinking about the good that came after all that you’d been through.

“Then you came along. And you made me feel… wanted. You made me feel like I wasn't as bad of a person to deal with. Like my existence wasn’t a hindrance.

And for so long I hoped that that would be enough. That your love would wash away all of the bad nights and I'd be fully at peace for once. But it's never that simple. I still have those nightmares.”

Ramonda only held you closer now, feeling the weight of the burden you’d been carrying.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked gently. Not angry, but curious.

“I didn’t tell you because it would make you think that I wasn’t happy. That you don’t make me happy and Bast, Ramonda, you make me more happy than anybody I’ve ever crossed paths with. I never for a moment wanted you to think that all your loving actions were in vain. I still don’t want you to.”

That final admission, where you felt yourself become your most vulnerable, was like a release in the chain of bad events that had happened to you in your life. It made you feel more than any other day with Ramonda ever had.

It felt better than the day you’d gone on your first date. Or the day she’d proposed to you with the sweetest speech you’d ever heard. It was more than all the gifts she’d gotten you and all the late night conversations you’d had.

It was so much more, because this time, you were finally able to give her the honesty that you’d longed to give her all this time. This time, you were putting your fear of hurting her feelings aside in an attempt to give her the reassurance that you trusted her.

That relief of being able to subtly say those words; I trust you. That was special.

You laid there, watching her process it all, and for a moment, even with your relief, you felt yourself begin to panic. Maybe it was too much.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said all of that.”

“No. I’m glad you did. I’m glad you don’t have to keep it to yourself anymore.” she said, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to keep that in for so long.”

“Don’t apologise. It has nothing to do with you.”

“But it has everything to do with you. And anything that has to do with you is immediately something I want to know.” she looked at you with the faintest smile on her face, her signal to you that told you she wasn’t mad.

“I want to be here for all your moments, sthandwa sam. I want to celebrate your good news with you and I want to cry at your bad news just as intensely. You’re worth every minute of sleep that I lose at the hands of holding you after those nightmares.”

Hearing that, you tried to shake your head in disagreement.

“No I’m no-”

“Yes you are Y/n.” she kissed your hand tenderly.

“I don’t expect you to believe me just yet, but I’m willing to let you know that you are, over and over again. I’m willing to hold you as close to me as you need every night until the day I die. I’ll do it all if it means you’ll feel safe again.”

You were left speechless, trying to find the words to respond to that, but honestly you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. She meant every word, and you felt every bit of her emotion.

With your hand still in hers, she settled herself in bed, looking at you as you watched her hesitantly.

“Let me hold you tightly… and let me choose to never let go.” she said.

Hours later, when you felt yourself begin to stir awake, your heart racing as yet another night terror played itself out in your head, you felt yourself rising up.

Opening your eyes, and finding tears in them, you wiped them away in embarrassment.

More doubt crept up in you, and once again, the odds seemed to be stacked against you.

There was no way this could all work.

You were just too much.

When you tried to rise up from bed, wanting to get your things and leave, you felt an arm touch yours.

You looked down, seeing what you’d previously thought would be a sleeping Ramonda, definitely awake.

She laid, watching you with barely awake eyes. You’d clearly woken her up.

“I’m sorry.” you apologised.

But when you thought you’d be met with anger, or pity, you were only met with a warm and welcoming expression, Ramonda sitting up and opening her arms to you.

“Come here.” she said, waiting patiently but firmly.

You were slow, but after a few deep breaths, you found yourself drawn to her touch, wanting that protection.

Her warm embrace seemed to ease your mind for the first time in a while. Her presence calmed you, and you felt cared for in a completely new way.

“It’s you and me, my love. I can assure you that you will never have to wake up without me by your side to ease your worry. My arms are your new home to know forever. They will be here whenever you need them. And I will always be here for you.”

#queen ramonda x female reader #queen ramonda angst #queen ramonda #queen ramonda x reader #ramonda x reader #black panther fanfiction #black panther fics

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