#mentally I'm just getting on a train travelling up north and to the sea on my own
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i dont usually really mind being a chronically online introvert with social anxiety most of whose friends live far away
but then my sister is on vacation in Spain with friends once again and sends pictures of herself and the sea and herself by the sea or on boats and
#cylas speaks#also#she went on short vacation with only my dad. then dad went to the same place with only his gf. and it's not like my ass is particularly busy#first one i think i was actually effectively not doing anything#second i already had my job but that's five days a month lmao#then dad and his gf also go to Spain every year for some running event (like some training stuff)#and to berlin for a marathon that's usually on or around my birthday :))#I'm. just in my room lol.#mentally I'm just getting on a train travelling up north and to the sea on my own#doing stuff. exploring. etc.#unfortunately i have anxiety and depression#there were so many things I'd wanted to do in the uk#alas#i am the type of mentally ill that just makes me useless :')#being in my own way always#missing chances and opportunities bc im scared and tired#etc etc
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