#menaintshit

[evnovaa]

Blame | Chris Sturniolo.

Chris Sturniolo x reader

“I feel stripped of my skin and alone.”

Genre: angst

Warnings: slight anxiety and swearing

a/n: alrightie cuties enjoy!

“Chris you are seriously starting to piss me off can you MOVE.” Nick says to his brother as he stands in his way from getting into their shared apartment.

"Kid, you can walk around me you know that right?" Chris says in an annoyed tone.

Nick rolls his eyes and pushes past him "fucking imbecile, I swear" Nick said mumbling under his breath.

Chris was standing in the door way mainly because he was trying to get a hold of his girlfriend who doesn't seem to be answering the phone. Recently she's been distant and he has been assuming the worst either she is cheating on him or she's hiding something that she might be enduring without his knowledge.

Chris ⭐️ : y/n can you please just respond to say you are okay

Chris⭐️: y/n I don't know what's been going on with you recently, and I'm not fucking akinator this shit is getting annoying.

Read at 9:59pm

Chris is still getting no response from y/n, she's clearly reading his messages which now indicates that she's ignoring him.

"Dude are you gonna stand there there the whole night?" Matt says to him coming down the stairs.

Chris goes ahead and ignores what his brother just said to him, in that moment it sounded like nothing but gibberish as he is still staring at his phone.

"Before Christmas Christopher." Matthew says to him awaiting a response.

Chris sighs and puts his phone in his pocket and walks into their apartment. He shoots straight to his room and shuts the door behind him.

Next morning

Y/n pov

I can see my boyfriend texting me and I know he's gotten irritated with me, but right now he is the last person to be irritated.

Me and Chris have been together for almost 3 years now, he is really amazing and been amazing all these years.

What has changed you may ask? Well all these years he has been amazing but like everyone else their boyfriend may do something they dislike but don't have the heart to say anything. For me it's him and his never ending friendship as he'd like to say with his ex-girlfriend

Earlier yesterday

"She really is incredible, but y/n hates the mention of her, l've noticed anytime I mention Lola around her she tends to get quiet and isn't present in the conversation anymore" Chris says venting to his friend Larry.

"Chris imma have to be honest with you, it is lowkey weird that you're so close to Lola while dating y/n, I don't know the boundaries surrounding your relationship, but usually girls don't want their man parading around with their ex-girlfriend."

"But listen she's more of a friend to me, dating her was like something I did because I felt alone, and needed the reassurance of a partner, but Lola and I grew into friends more than a couple, hence we broke up" Chris knows what he's saying is true in his mind but in his heart he loves Lola still, but refuses to come to terms with it.

"I don't know chrissypoo, you're gonna have to figure that one out with her." Larry says knowing this conversation will be far from productive if anything it was moving in retrograde.

“But Larry nothing is going on with me and Lola so I don’t understand y/n’s avoidance with her.” Chris tries to sound convincing but deep down he know he is spewing utter bullshit.

Chris’s phone stars to ring and he sees it is his girlfriend, he answers the phone as if he is trying to cover up something.

Larry gives him a look of “why do you sound guilty” but they let that moment die silently

“Hey baby!” Chris says

“Oh hey babe…why do you sound like that” y/n says chuckling lightly, but laced with concern and curiosity.

“Oh no it’s nothing I’m just kickin it with Larry, uh do you wanna come over maybe? I miss you.”

“I mean sure I just left the nail salon, but you won’t believe who I bumped into”

“Huh? Who? Was it Aaliyah?” He says mentioning one of their best friends

“No unfortunately, but it was your girlfriend Lola.” Y/n says sarcastically and laughing, hoping Chris would return the same reaction.

“WHAT? Lola is NOT my girlfriend, you are baby why would you say that.” Chris says shocked, mainly because Lola was the person they were talking about not too long ago and the conversation being about y/n’s feelings toward Lola.

“Chris are you okay genuinely what the fuck are you on about” y/n says slightly taken aback by his erratic response.

“Baby I have no idea what you’re talking about, actually let’s talk more when you get home alright?” Chris says quickly, now he knows he is being weird but is trying his very best to play it cool, newsflash it’s not working in his favor.

“Oh uh okay…” y/n says before ending the call not even exchanging goodbye’s and I love you’s like they usually do.

Y/n always had suspicions that she might be Chris’s rebound for Lola but they have been together for too long for that to even make sense in any kind of way. But again y/n is anxious by nature, she overthinks everything. Well tonight she decided that she was gonna go through his phone, she’s hoping and praying to find absolutely nothing to suggest that he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

She gets to the triplets apartment and they all exchanged greetings and ate their brunch together, Larry left a bit earlier so y/n was bummed she couldn’t see him but she continued with her early afternoon with her boyfriend. Chris went with his brothers to film their Wednesday vlog.

Y/n got bored and decided to go to Chris’s room and stay there for a bit, she decided to also watch some Netflix on Chris’s MacBook. She’s done with the episode of her favorite show and as she is about to close the laptop she sees a new IMessage notification from Lola.

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : I’m almost there!

Chris : alright hurry tho😭

Chris: oh also we can’t hang for too long, told y/n I’m out filming with Matt and Nick

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : lying to your girlfriend to meet me🤭 should I be honored?

Chris : should be she would flip if she knew what was happening

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : where are Matt and Nick if she thinks you’re with them?

Chris : oh yeah they are in the area, thrifting lol

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : ohh okay, also parking rn so see you soon 💋

Chris : ight

Y/n wasn’t crazy, she couldn’t believe what she just read. Everything Chris has ever promised to her has become a lie,

“we never hang out without you around.”

“She’s not even that important to me anymore.”

“I’m glad the friendship is drifting, gives me a chance to focus on us.”

everything he has ever said to her about Lola starts to ring in her head like a bell going haywire. Her vision gets blurry and she couldn’t hold it in, she broke down, she felt like her trust with him is broken and things were going wrong. She doesn’t think straight and decides to call him.

She starts calling him as her tears stream down her face as she sniffles.

“Chris?”

“Hey uhhh I’ll call you back alright? I’m just in the middle of something I promise I’ll call you back”

“Oh okay” before she could finish her sentence he hung up.

Her heart shattered, she was picturing the worst, Was he cheating? Was he out doing things couples would do with her? How many times has she been lied to regarding Lola? All these questions were in her head and she didn’t know how to cope and feel in that moment.

She broke down even more in Chris’s bed and in his hoodie that she wears all the time. She feels her chest closing and her head spinning.

minutes pass and y/n is on the edge of the bed facing the floor and she has never felt more alone in that moment. Chris knew y/n wasn’t social, she didn’t have many friends, if not all her friends were his friends so we’re they actually ever y/‘s friends? She wouldn’t think so.

She gets her car keys and she leaves his apartment.

The drive home felt almost like an out of body experience. She felt like her whole world just ended, she never had trust issues with him till recently, he would mention her more than he should. she didn’t realize it but she was becoming distant in her realization and overthinking when it came down to Lola.

Chris pov

“I missed you a lot y’know” Lola says to Chris with eyes that show yearning and slight sorrow.

“I missed you too, life has been weird without seeing you as much, but I’ve adjusted I guess.” Chris says genuinely, he meant every word, in all seriousness he didn’t know if he still liked the thought of himself with Lola.

“I mean, you’re in a relationship and it made me back off, I didn’t want to but it was out of respect.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, I need you too Lola.” Chris realizes he said the last part of his sentence out loud, if anyone was there they would say that was the worst freudian slip ever.

“You need me? Since when? y/n was all you ever talked about day in and day out.” Lola says looking up at her best friend.

“I mean you’re my friend right? Friends need each other.” Chris says trying to save himself.

“Chris do you still want to be with me? I can’t tell and I need to know I can’t keep sneaking around to meet you.” Lola says pleading with the boy.

Chris has major whiplash in that moment and looks at here with shock, as if she almost read his mind.

“I- no, I’m with y/n, we broke up for a reas-“ Chris gets interrupted by Lola’s lips and he cannot stop it, his lips melted into hers and they shared a moment that only they will be able to describe.

Lola pulls away first from the kiss and is the first to speak.

“You can’t keep lying to yourself Chris, the way you just kissed me contradicts everything you just said does it not?” Lola says looking at him knowing she’s right

“Lola what the fuck was that? You can’t fucking do that I have a girlfriend, I don’t fucking want you!” Chris says yelling out of guilt

“Tell me you don’t want me, say it.” Lola says

“Lola-“

“IF YOU DON’T WANT ME FUCKING SAY IT CHRISTOPHER”

“I CAN’T SAY IT OKAY? I CANT!” Chris yelling at Lola, her eyes enlarged and his eyes were filled with tears and he was filled with guilt and distress.

“I can’t fucking do this Lola.” Chris says as he walks away from Lola leaving her in the middle of the empty parking lot.

Chris calls Matt to tell him to come get him, which he does, Chris enters the car without a word to either of his brothers.

“You okay kid?” Matt says concerned

“Yeah I’m fine, fuck I need to text y/n.”

Chris calls and texts to no response, they arrive at home and still nothing from his girlfriend.

They arrive at their apartment, see y/n’s car isn’t there, sends Chris into a panic.

Chris ⭐️ : y/n can you please just respond to say you are okay

Chris⭐️ : y/n I don't know what's been going on with you recently, and I'm not fucking akinator this shit is getting annoying.

Chris feels nothing but guilt and anger in his body, and he has no idea how to deal with it. His night is filled with crying and silent suffering

He in this moment only has himself to blame.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

A/n: well! That went well didn’t it 😟 #prayfory/n free you my heart 😭🙏🏽 lmk if y’all want pt.2

[dichotomoussparklygirl]

zana bihiku tutt'art x "after death" by christina rosetti

The curtains were half drawn, the floor was swept And strewn with rushes, rosemary and may Lay thick upon the bed on which I lay, Where through the lattice ivy-shadows crept. He leaned above me, thinking that I slept And could not hear him; but I heard him say, ‘Poor child, poor child’: and as he turned away Came a deep silence, and I knew he wept. He did not touch the shroud, or raise the fold That hid my face, or take my hand in his, Or ruffle the smooth pillows for my head: He did not love me living; but once dead He pitied me; and very sweet it is To know he still is warm though I am cold.

[cldflsh]

grant gustin deleted hundreds of his insta posts. his profile used to be a safe space, i loved scrolling back and looking and stuff he posted and said. i'm not well. #menaintshit

[hexonthepeach]

the new meta tag #menaintshit for this fic brought to you by @theworld-accordingtocasey thank you for blessing me with the live commentary

a gentle tongue breaketh the bone | 1: escape, again

pairing: fem hybrid fox omega!reader/hybrid Alpha!nct 127

tags: reverse harem, non-traditional omegaverse hybrid! cyberpunk au, pack dynamics, polyamory, slowburn/slowbuild, angst & hurt/comfort, heavy content warnings inc. torture, graphic violence, suicidal ideation, explicit sexual content

summary: the year is 2127. decades of eugenics and warfare have led to the rise of designated populations: the ruler Alphas and their rare, prized omegas sequestered from the Beta population. in the aftermath of the War of the Two Tigers, New Goryeo ushers in an Imperial dynasty determined not by birthright but by the alliance of the Syndicate's clancorps to choose the best pack of your generation. you are destined to take your place within the Imperial harem as a queen, and–perhaps–Imperatrix herself

but you have a secret, written into your skin and bones–one that could easily kill you, depending on who finds it out

ten years ago you chose your Alpha and their pack in a fateful meeting

now, you must make them choose you

[masterlist & glossary] [read on AO3] [0: prologue]

wc: 3.5k

chapter warnings: multi idol au incoming

recommended listening: take me home - ateez

The searchlight penetrates the dark water, illuminating the reefs growing over long-submerged buildings, the occasional eel or octopus darting into a broken window. Beneath the small fishing boat lies the horror of the flooded city, a place you were more familiar with in your nightmares.

You have to turn away, sickness twisting your gut with each lungful of the sea air. Focused meditation is the only thing keeping you from the panic attack threatening to bubble up and break the surface of your manufactured calm.

You know you won't be traveling anywhere near where you'd watched your mother drown, but here on the water all ghosts feel close enough to touch.

"You alright?" The navigator beside you on the bow is a tall man with a quiet demeanor, a bulky older model bionic hand and arm hidden under his trench jacket. He lets the spotlight rest in order to move closer to you, earning your flinch.

You nod, afraid to speak.

You'd expected your escorts to have little to say to you. Instead you'd been welcomed by familiar faces–a pack you knew from the lower clans, some of their faces more familiar than the others.

The big Alpha is just as nervous as you–scent spiking every time he makes eye contact, even when he sneaks looks at you from the corner of his vision.

He smells like clean sage and grapefruit . . . and canine. Mostly wolf, a rarity with the diversification initiative of your parent's generation. He must be soldier stock, you think.

"It's not too far," he assures you. "Just have to get out of the city."

"Mingi," says a deep voice over his crackling radio. "Keep up the sweep past the container ship graveyard, they've got rigs installed for salvage I'd like to avoid."

"Sorry," he says, shyly.

He returns to his work, angling the blue-white beam to reveal new scaffolding rising up from the water and the old wrecks.

The boat changes course to avoid it, putting you closer to the first of the many towers that had survived the seawall break, foundations reinforced and reclaimed as small islands in the bay. They're slums but well-maintained, with connecting bridges and sprawling docks at their bases, bright signs advertising ports for a quick drink or trade.

Further on, the color and light grow in intensity, where the megacity of Neo Seoul emerges from the water, rising up past the mountain peaks to pierce the iridescent cloud cover.

If the crowded depths beneath you are a horror then so are the skies, threat carried by long-distance drones buzzing overhead along with the occasional aerodyne. The airspace over the city is much more trafficked than over the water, white illuminated lanes marking routes in three-dimensional space.

You're waiting for your nightmare to come true, you think–a second waking experience to make your paranoia permanent.

But no one is coming for you, yet.

They won't know you're missing for a few days, assuming you were in your personal cryochamber undergoing the latest resurfacing procedure on your scar tissue. Garam had been kind enough to take your place; just one of many arrangements for your long-planned flight.

You weren't running towards Neo Seoul, of course. There was nowhere to hide from the clancorps there, no matter how good your new identity was crafted.

No, your path leads East towards the darkness of the Wild, past the industrial parks and factory ships to where the old rivers meet in mudflats and estuaries few have settled in.

And beyond that, to the decimated Old Zones, where the War's aftereffects remain in radiation hotspots and unexploded ordnance. The contamination fromcarpet bombing is the worst risk your kind can face there, unable to stop hybrid DNA from manifesting, sometimes irreversibly.

To most it's a hell better left avoided. But to you, it's your real home.

Boom.

Another AV breaks through the low hanging marine layer so close you can feel the heat from its fission engines as you flatten on the deck. You duck to hide behind one of the many cargo boxes, heart racing, but the aircraft idles on at a lower altitude in the direction of Old Seoul, matte black against the green-tinged Dome.

"Watch it, asshole," you hear someone shout from the aft deck.

You're gently pulled up from the slippery wood by another of the crew. Your breath catches in your throat, face going hot under the scarf wrapped around it.

Ever since the rendezvous point you'd kept a polite distance from this Alpha, quiet in his company. Now his hand is wrapped under your elbow and all you can think of is how much bigger he is than when you'd last seen him in the Dome.

Jeong Yunho, the target of your childhood affection, now your human trafficker.

Fate always had a funny sense of humor with you.

"Careful," he says. You quiver under his gaze, trying not to react too obviously. He has a polite kindness to his mannerisms that seems antithetical to your memory of him laying out two adult guards of a Choi heir during a sanctioned duel.

Still the same gentle face and eyes.

You're not sure if he's this pack's prime, but surely Yunho is in charge of this mission. He'd introduced himself at your rendezvous with no attempt to hide his celebrity. There'd even seemed to be the subtle implication that you should recognize him as a Lost Prince.

It had taken all of your skill in presence and manners to deny him that.

There was no way he could recognize you in turn. You'd been hidden behind veils and screens your entire life, kept a safe distance away from your cohort. Few had scented you and even if the suppression of the Dome did not apply here you had medical means, aided by the neutralizing odor of the sea.

It's too bad that isn't all you hide. You feel the breeze in your fur and panic.

Yunho clears his throat as you lift your hood back up, quickly but not quickly enough to hide the red-and-black ears tufting from your hair.

"Are those . . .?"

"Biomods. A debut gift." Your carefully practiced explanation sounds false, said so rushedly. You glance up to see him nod, cheek indented as he chews a pink lip.

"Fox," he affirms. "Unusual color."

"Calico." You explain, face kept smooth by years of practice. "All the rage right now with the lesser branches."

To your relief he quickly changes the subject, watching you discard your gloves in your pocket–now smelling vaguely of fish guts. You weren't typically boatsick, but the higher doses of suppressants had a nauseating effect.

"You'll have to tell me what it's like on the inside. Haven't been back since . . . well, you know."

"Are you an Abdicated?" you ask, feigning surprise.

"Yes," he says with an edge of humor.

"I didn't know you were a Lee."

"Mother's side," he shrugs, lying in turn.

You know better. Like many of the other Lost Princes he'd publicly expressed his distaste with the outdated system, choosing exile from Old Seoul rather than compete in the political theater and power plays required for succession.

A choice you'd never been offered, but were making all the same.

You'd been present at Inner Court for his formal renunciation, had even cried silently under your veil with the patheticness of a child losing their favorite toy. In this case, your favorite potential mate. It didn't matter that he'd never spoken to you.

"You're lucky then. You could leave," you say.

He smiles. It doesn't extend to his eyes, giving his soft face a hardness.

"Why don't we go inside the cabin. Get you out of this wind."

You let him lead you, his large hand remaining on your jacketed arm as he cages you from behind. It takes concentration to bring the alarm singing in your head down to background noise. Strategy is your fallback; you remind yourself that there's no incentive for him to return you even if he finds you out.

You pass the wheelhouse, Yunho nodding to the smaller man at the helm. He's barely visible in the low light of the digital console and sonar screen but you quickly recognize Kang Yeosang. Another of Yunho's cohort from the Royal Academy, along with Jeong Wooyoung.

You can't help but wonder what other strays he's collected. They were always bound to be a pack, and you'd secretly fantasized about being chosen by them. How silly to think of, now.

You’re shepherded into the cluttered but cozy interior of the fishing boat. Spare tech is piled up between floats and crustacean traps, a single table and bunks filling most of the space.

By the looks of it the craft is probably used for illegal salvage more than honest work, but at least it seems safe. There's a space heater and an electric appliance station which spits out lukewarm, powdery tea when Yunho jams his finger against the display enough times.

"Sorry we can't afford better hospitality," Yunho says.

You sip at your insulated mug, cringing at the bitter taste but not the warmth that spreads through you.

"I'm–my family is paying for discretion, not luxury," you answer politely. "As long as you can get me to District Nine, I have no complaints."

"Right," Yunho props up his legs on one of the fixed chairs, still bundled tight in his peacoat. "Care to enlighten me why we're headed out there?"

You sink under the Prince's gaze, deliberating on what to tell him. You settle for the truth. "I'm looking for my brother."

He sits up, booted feet thudding to the floor as he leans forward in curiosity.

"In District Nine?" Yunho's head is cocked to the side, a sight that would make you smile under any other circumstances. His underlying scent is subtle, clean–pleasing in the way Canids always are to you.

"He left the Dome a long time ago," you say. "That's the last place we heard he'd been spotted."

Yunho was always such a calm and reserved Alpha when you were younger–a rarity, attributable to the use of domesticated canine genetics by his clan. He's uneasy and fidgety now, slender fingers drumming on the plastic tabletop.

"Is he designated?"

The question is inevitable. You'd lied about your own status, buried in a massive dosage of suppressants that made you weak and tired and sick but at least kept your true nature locked away.

"Yes," you say. "Never in line for succession, of course. But he left to join a free pack. Like you, I suppose?"

"I see," he says. "Do you know which one? We might be able to help–"

You shake your head, politely. "No. I'm not worried. Once I'm there, I will find him."

You quickly pretend to be interested in the news, with the tiniest flicker of dread that you'll see your face revealed to the world along with your escape.

Of course that's impossible–they'd kept you hidden since you were thirteen. If not for the scars than for your comms-team-constructed persona of chastity, purity, piety and of course, mourning.

No, the only imagery of you that exists are the traditional portrait commissions circulated amongst the Syndicate for approval of your future marriage contract. As soon as the bells rung to indicate the three years allotted to mourn the Imperatrix were over, the official succession vote would take place, the harem arranged well in advance.

102 days from now, you think.

There's no audio coming from the Betafax feed on the wall monitors but captions in five languages are displayed over footage of a firefight on one of the main air lanes, already suppressed by NSMR forces. Other scrolls and alerts notify of dangers in various districts, spot-hired security and armed triage teams responding while media hounds vie for live, up close coverage.

"Is it always like that out here?" you ask. Your exposure has been entirely through Betafax news feeds, typically scrubbed by Imperial censors. Occasionally a flash of the violence would make it through.

"The war didn't end out here," he remarks, laughing when he sees your expression twist a bit. "Well, not in there, either, but at least there's no lethal weapons allowed."

"They'll just kill you with words," you agree.

Yunho nods sympathetically.

"Are you hungry?" he asks. "We don't have much but–"

"I could hear her stomach growling over the engine." Someone says behind you. You turn with composure only to gag, hand flying to your face.

You smell the catch before you see it, a plastic bucket of crabs and a still limply flopping fish dropped on the table beside you. For a moment you think you can fight the involuntary nausea but in a second you've rushed past them and out the plastic sheeting over the door, retching up the meager contents of your stomach into the water below.

"You couldn't clean those outside?" Yunho asks. "Conversation was too interesting," the other man responds acerbically. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

You're surprised more by the hand on your back than the intimate term, acid-burned nostrils overwhelmed with the telltale musk of another fox.

It would be a relief, but you know better than to trust the creature patting at you like your kin.

Wooyoung, just as notorious. Discriminated against like you, for similar but separate reasons. He's only a little taller than you, sharp eyes narrowed in the blue glow of a nearby port.

"Seasick, huh?" He cackles, somehow not unkindly.

"Yeah." You nod, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. "Ever since I was a kid."

He swipes a hand over his black ears, looking bashful. "You alright with a seafood dinner?"

Your continued retching is enough of an answer.

Wooyoung cooks a different kind of stew–rehydrating strips of artificial meat in a broth that tastes nothing like you've had before, mixed with root vegetables. With the added flavor of freedom, you feel like it might be the best meal you've ever had.

Thankfully the boat ride is swift, adrenaline pumping through your system well after the shoreline begins to darken. Lights dwindle where the old river-running highways appear, whole sections obliterated by a century of disaster. You know autocars and AVs can still come out here but they don't—not with the fears of automated turrets.

According to what your mother had told you growing up in the Wild, most of the stories about what lay beyond was myth. The bigger threat was being tracked going out without clearance, strictly penalized by the Syndicate.

It adds a feeling of finality to your journey as you reach a lone dock in the neverending swamp.

The antique light post at its head contrasts with the cool headlights of an old ground vehicle, military grade and scarred by shrapnel.

Four other men wait on the shore, signaling with a hend-held LED in a code you don't understand. What you can read when you disembark is that one of the men is pointing a heavily tricked gun at you, its carbon shell glowing red when it lifts to your face.

"Welcome," the stranger says, voice a rasp.

You freeze, rucksack dropping to the planks with a thud.

"That's unnecessary, Captain." Yunho says behind you. "We checked her back at the Old Wall."

"I'll decide what's necessary." The leader says. He gestures to the shadow beside him. "Let's have a look."

The light is lifted over you, blinding you between glimpses of a cold face and cat-like eyes. This one is a Felid, claws scraping over your scalp as they rip the hood from your head.

You figure this half of the crew must have been in the Wild longer–affected by jimseung on a noticeable level.

"The color profile matches." The Felid's voice is deeper than you expected. Your scarf is removed next, and you see the silhouette of an angled head as he inspects the faint mesh of scars leading down your jaw to your neck.

"Interesting," the Captain remarks.

The Felid is gentler when he reaches for your coat, black-tipped fingers splaying in front of your face to show his claws are retracted before he reaches down to lift the long trench.

"Check her a little more thoroughly," The Captain says. Behind him, someone laughs.

You whip around to look at Yunho, suddenly desperate. "What is the meaning of this treatment? Didn't you tell them I was clear?"

He shakes his head, breeze ruffling the dark hair across his forehead, and that's when you understand which emotion is coloring his expression: pity.

"You knew?"

You understood it would only be a matter of time before they found out but you'd hoped it would be after you were well on your way.

Not from the start.

"They sell cheap knock-offs of your scent profile in department stores," Wooyoung says lightly, approaching with a slinking posture. "Popular among the omega proxies, of course."

He snatches your bag away, earning your snarl. The Captain chuckles behind you as the fox proceeds to rummage through your clothing for valuables.

"Your blockers are good," Yunho says. "But not that good."

You'd once collected his pictures and planned in detail the words you'd say during ritual courtship. You regret it. The illusion is shattered with his next words.

"Show us, please," he says, in the tell-tale rumble of an order.

The Alpha's compulsion is immediate, your only form of control or choice in how you do what you're bidden. You hold him with your glare as you reach down to unstrap the appendage from the back of your leg, pulling it out of your coat where they can all see it, black and silver-tipped and half your body length.

Unlike a biomod your tail has a mind of its own, signaling your very real aggression by twitching out of your grasp. Your breath steams in the light as your energy spikes, the tickle of fur threatening to grow out of you as you round on the men behind you.

"Like what you see?" you growl.

The gun-wielding Captain lowers his aim, laughing with a manic energy.

"Oh that's rich. A few dozen prized omega females in all of Old Seoul and we're hitched with the only one the Syndicate would trade them all for."

"Your final payment won't be transferred until I'm–" you begin.

"You have more money than the Syndicate? Doubtful," the Captain says. He has a devilish expression. "Luckily for you we have a strict policy on taking jobs from those bastards."

"We're not going to send you back," Yunho echoes.

You relax a bit, pulse still thudding in your ears.

"I don't understand." Mingi steps forward, crouching down to scent the top of your head. You think he's probably been fighting the instinct since the boat. "Who is she?"

"A Queen." Wooyoung answers, zipping the bag up. He returns it to your feet, tentatively, moving to touch your tail when you don't snap at him. You're not surprised when he buries his face in it, shoulders relaxing in pleasure.

"Nothing like it in the world."

You see Yunho reach out to place a hand on Yeosang's shoulder, stopping him from moving any closer.

It was convenient that your pheromones had a soporific effect, less so that they tended to draw other designated like an invisible string tugging at their animal brains.

"She's just a Princess Consort." Yunho says. "For now. You’re standing in front of the future Imperatrix of New Goryeo, Daughter of Heaven and the East Sea, the Lotus Princess Lee ____."

You shudder at the sound of the official title. Every word of it was anathema to you.

"A royal pain in the ass," the Captain jokes. "But a valuable one."

"So what?" you ask, ignoring the effect you're having on his hounds. "Ransom me to the Syndicate? You might as well kill me."

"Halatus has a reputation to maintain." The Felid answers before anyone else, tugging Wooyoung off of you with a distinct look of disgust on his handsome features.

"That's right," the Captain continues, stepping forward to snatch the necklace from your neck before you can respond. Yunho has to grab you from behind, ordering you to stop before you can rip at any skin you can reach with your bared, partially-transformed teeth.

"There's still some honor amongst thieves and liars, after all," he says, inspecting the thick metal chain and the tiny gems inlaid in the links, your mother's last gift to you.

"We'll take you to the end of the line. And you’ll pay extra, with insurance. Princess."

[previous] [next]

[hunniemoonraindrops]

Boys will tell you they like you then change their mind as soon as the other girl replies...

[organic-vintage]

i kept convincing myself that 2020 was gonna be my year but i’m seventeen days in and have already been left on read by two guys. 2021 here i come.

[khunagueroluvr]

not me simping for 2d men AND still actually want to have a boyfriend, pick a struggle already because 2d men don't exist irl and irl men ain't sht

[iykykperiod]

feel my pain

Iykyk>

2021 YOUR BETTER BE IT, OR IM OUT

2020 was clearly bs...lemme start. My bf of 4 years bumped my ass to feel the freedom of loose pussy, gaining his bitches back and studio nights with his “mandom”. Shit and if that’s not the cherry on top, mans went on to disrespect tf outta me. Starts following my ops(bitches I had solid issues with), *sigh* I look forwards to being embarrassed by my ex soon as we break up. To be fair I did sleep with someone(s) the same week as the break up. I justify it with the fact I have a high sex drive. Don’t all 20 yr olds??? 

2021: consist of running around trying to find another job, deleting and downloading tinder (ya I know, you know), moved out and still trying to find tf I’m suppose to be doing on this earth. 

Well iykyk.

[sarah-hearts-taylor]

WHAT HAPPENED TO SPARKS FLY????????????

I AM GENUINELY OFFENDED

NO

THIS IS NOT OKAY

RATS

[grethoxh]

“Happy & Alone > Miserable & Attached”

[blackeyedpeepees]

Men can live in a house their entire life and still not know which cabinet the pots and pans belong in

[staytrippylittehippie1938-blog]

Respect the pussy that got wet for you when your wallet was dry ...

[this1bl0g]

morning text from my Sis! stay woke @laurenhadle

[hunniemoonraindrops]

This guy really had the audacity to text me after three weeks... telling me he hasn’t had a day off... but like didn’t I see you out with your friends and going to parties...

[spritualpower]

Type 7777 below 💞 . . 📌 Make sure you’re following @_spiritual_power 📌⁣⁣ #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #toxicfree #psychopathy #narcfree #menaintshit #sadbitch #wordpornofinstagram #flirtingmemes #feelbythoughts #latenightmemes #regretquotes #girlyquote #shitologyofficial #fuckoffbitch #crazythoughts #overthinkingquotes #scribblersword #fuckboymemes #shitology #wordsofworth #naughtyquotes #maturityquotes #fuckyofeelings (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWEnQinsXEC/?utm_medium=tumblr

[fessupdarling]

confession 1 :love & my truth <3

When I think about love, my mind is mostly blank. mainly because the only love I’ve ever received was from my parents. What really is love beyond a feeling you feel for someone? Could it be sex or maybe just spending quality time with each other? I never really bothered to find out but maybe I never will. But as I sit here and see many people get into relationships.. it’s hard to not want one. I see how happy they look, but in my case it hasn’t always been happy. 

If I’m going to be honest, I haven’t had my first significant other much less be presented with a label society forces us to take. So what they hell do I know about love? I know it can make you do crazy things and maybe it’ll work or sometimes you walk away with a broken heart. I’ve always known that men ain’t shit way before I was allowed to leave the house. Men will only want one thing and let’s not kid here. We both know damm well what it is.. and as much as we want to believe not every guy or person is like that, everyone has a desire. It’s just human nature. So let me present to you, my love experience. The first time I grew feelings for anyone was back in elementary school, and boy did I fall head over heels for this guy. Whenever he looked my way or just smiled at me, my heart began to race and soon enough people swear they saw my cheeks have a red tint to them. It made me so happy to have a minute to talk with him, we mainly talked about video games or maybe who was the strongest. By setting a date for our jungle gym showdown to prove once and for all who the alpha dog was. I didn’t win, but I left school with a smile on my face and my feelings growing more. Time went on when elementary school finally came to an end. I needed to get over him, but somewhere deep down I wanted us to be more than friends. The aquarius in me didn’t want to develop anything, so I shut him out. I ignored him until the feelings I once had for him died. I went throughout middle school forgetting about him but another problem arose my first and last year. 

I befriend a guy in once of my classes, and was he the best friend I ever had. If you asked me what made us click, I couldn’t tell you because I honestly don’t remember. But we talked a-lot and everyday I looked forward to our conversations because he always made me laugh. He would go on and on about this girl, he hoped he’d reunite with and eventually want to settle down with. I smiled with glee because if I could take you to that moment, it was beautiful, His eyes filled with hope and you could see the love for her on his face. I was happy to know that he cared about her dearly and he wasn’t in it for other things. Or at least I don’t think so but only he knows what he truly wanted with her. Soon enough he stopped talking about her, but even so I kept bringing her up and he would shut me down with “ let’s talk about something else”. I felt confused, not even a week ago he had eyes filled with love talking about her and now he was acting like she never existed. I let it go, not until one day a group of his friends came up to me and told me the truth..

he had fallen head over heels for me.

he had wanted to confess to me for a while but couldn’t bring himself to do so. His friends bombarded me with questions and soon enough they brought him to me. His face was really red and he was shaking, avoiding my gaze while looking at the ground almost like if he expected the earth to crack open and to swallow him whole. It didn’t but he proceed to ask me out. Little did I know my answer was the start of problems, I didn’t know I was going to get myself into. I said yes to him but once I answered him, I realized... I felt nothing for him. Absolutely nothing, my heart wouldn’t beat faster if I thought about him, nor did my cheeks tint red. I think it was the spur of the moment type of thing. I won’t lie to you and tell you I wasn’t nervous, but not for the reason he expected me to be. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, I felt sick whenever I saw him. He didn’t deserve me, someone who doesn’t like him back. So the following day I told him the truth. Well not exactly face to face but I texted him. I felt so guilty to the point where it was eating me alive and I anticipated every minute waiting for his texts.  To which I got no response but a confrontation at my local liquor store. I remember trying to grab some snacks and head home after a long day of school. Until I felt a presence behind me, I turned around and saw him, he looked scary. He never looked that way, his face was a mix of anger and sadness. He raised his voice to ask me what the hell i meant by my message. All eyes were on us, I felt so small and embarrassed. I begged him to keep his voice down since to this day I hate public confrontation or raising your voice in public in general. He didn’t care and I don’t blame him. He kept bombarding me with questions, until i finally told him what he needed to hear. He looked at me in utter disgust and sadness and he wiped tears away from his eyes and ran out of the store. It only got uglier from there and I’ll spare you the details. From tears to rumors to finally fixing the broken relationship. He lost feelings for me and moved on to someone else. We’re all good now but we stopped talking after a year into high school. I hope he’s doing okay and wish he nothing but the best.

 During my last year of middle school, a best friend of mine had told me about a crush a guy had on me. I chose to ignore it because soon he wouldn’t.  Anyways I made it clear that I didn’t want more then a friendship to which it ended with him ignoring me and completely shutting me out. That’s when I realized, if you don’t give men the answer they want to hear.. they’ll toss you aside like nothing and that’s what I didn’t want. I graduated with honors and was happy with the way I was living. That is until High School and to this day I still think about it.

My sophomore year was where it all started.. it was a guy I had met. He was the funniest and sympathetic person I had known. We talked about many topics and we grew closer. A girlfriend of mine always included him in our conversation and it was hard to get him out of it. Soon we were all comfortable with each other and I liked that about our friend group. It was the three of us, we were the loudest and best group ever. But that all came to an end when he grew feelings for me. I’m oblivious to many things especially in the love department. I won’t know until someone points it out. He asked me on a date to which I responded with yes. Don’t worry this time I thought about it, and I really wanted to know what it was like. To go on a date with someone and have that one experience. But life events happened and that was death of a family member which made my feelings go all over the place. I realized, I wasn’t in the right mind set to be in a relationship and I knew I wasn’t ready for it. I was honest and open with him about how i felt to which he didn’t take lightly. He demanded I tell him why i had ever said yes in the first place. I told him again and he knew I wouldn’t budged , claimed that I take the time I need and he would be there for when I was ready. If you have ever gone through grief, you know it doesn’t go away quickly and  isn’t  something you can forget about in a day. He grew impatient on how long I was taking and soon enough he became irritated  and had a sour attitude with me. From giving me attitude and blankly ignoring my presence even when I stood next to my friend. But oh no, whenever he was done with his mood, he expected us to talk like nothing ever changed. Hell no, I gave him the same energy and he didn’t like that. He asked me if I was in a mood and in his words “ she’s trippin”. After that I ignored him and didn’t care what the hell his deal was or how he felt. He stopped trying with me too, we ignored each other for the longest time. Still to this day too, but even so I wish him the best despite everything. 

My stance in love is complicated but I hope one day I can come back to this and give a happy note to how I feel now. I haven’t gotten there yet but I know what I feel now can’t be a long lasting feeling. Let’s see what the future brings.

signing off ,

- fessupdarling <3

(this is mainly a rant page for me to get out my emotions out in a healthy way, i know there is grammatical mistakes and punctuation errors to but ehh I don’t want to fix them)