#memory lane baby im telling u
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"Alonso pays the price for his carelessness as Ziyech’s free-kick is whipped towards Arrizabalaga’s far post with such precision that it hits the bar before going into the back of the net by bouncing off of the Chelsea stopper’s face! A farcical way to concede a goal, and Stamford Bridge falls into silence!"
#hakim ziyech#kepa arrizabalaga#quincy promes#afc ajax#chelsea fc#ziyech#gifs not mine!#gifs found on tenor!#memory lane baby im telling u#gifs*#that night at the bridge... (lets pretend it stopped after that!)#the king of amsterdam ❤️🤍
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So.
I finished the 4th season (MAG #160)
......I'm unwell
(part 3 of my Magnus Archives experience)
Ahhhhh where do i even start???? Ok, ok I think I'll start with the lesser things
First off, right off the bat, RIP Tim. More than ever, now I know he didn't have to die and I am so so sad he did..... Flirty boi deserved so much better u^u
Martin collected many moments of badassery throughout the 3rd and 4th seasons. Im so proud of his growth. Not him burning statements and snipping back at Elias - ahhhhhh he was so coooool, I wish someone else was there so that they could tell him! And when he made Fairchild sit back down to finish answering Martin's questions, I swear I got chills!!
Anyway. I continue being a fierce Martin fan, nothing new there
What is new is my newfound adoration for Daisy. Seriously. She's my baby now. Idc what happens or who dies, she needs to end this story okay :'))))
No, im 200% serious, if Daisy doesn't survive to the end, im def going to cry. Because i can totally see her being the "sacrifice herself so that everyone else will have a chance" type.
I swear she was the only one holding the brain cell power this season – and FINALLY, someone who's not Martin is not being a bitch to Jon!!!
I wasn’t even expecting Jon to be able to bring her back. Much less for them to become supportive avatar besties! I’m so glad the writer decided to take that turn with her. It’s really satisfying from a narrative standpoint to have Daisy of all people do a whole 180 on her standpoint with Jon.
Idk, i just really liked her this season. She deserves all the hugs. So she gets a meme :)
Basira, on the other hand, fell a bit for me, but i think that was kind of the point. She was fierce and stony and nearly zero compassionate, – very Gertrude-ish of her – but after everything that’s happened, i can't really blame her :/
Im just here praying to everything that the cop ladies can get a modicum of a happy ending
And just so I round up the gang, im scared for Melanie... She is now blind and also has (had?) a monster as a therapist. And Georgie doesn't feel fear which makes them even less likely to sense danger if it comes for them. I hope they're able to push through whatever season 5 throws at them
Okay. So only Jon is lef now. What can i say about him tho?? I mean, i can say he's been going through it.
Like, I spent my whole time hearing this podcast lowkey making fun of him for collecting beatdowns from pretty much every character - AND IT TURNS OUT IT WASN’T EXACTLY JOKING MATTER AND WAS ACTUALLY PLOT RELEVANT??
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR VOICES ON MY PHONE??
I just feel so bad for Jon. The guy did not deserve all of this. He really was a lamb to the slaughter—a poor wet cat, an eternal damsel in distress, the Antichrist…?
That last statement from Elias/Jonah is so good tho. Like, objectively. I love it. Not only does it take the listener in a nice little trip down memory lane - nostalgia is always fun - but its also just. So evil.
They really gave us such a sweet start – Martin and Jon bunking together in a cabin in Scotland(?) seemingly happy and it's all "uwu, they sho cute, yada yada- and then BAM!! APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!"
(i could literally be here for hours coming up with titles for Jon. he makes it too easy.)
Elias though...... I was spoiled that he was Jonah Magnus halfway through season 2 or so, so the reveal wasn't a big deal for me. I wonder how shattering it was for listeners when it first dropped though... At least he upped his villainy cred this season. Suits him better than the "unbothered neutral/evil stand-by" vibe he gave before.
And one last character thing, I fell in love with Peter so quickly. His lines were all gold and his delivery even more so. He just had that unflappable vibe to him. Like he didnt have a care in the world.
Oh, and him and Elias totally had ex-wives who spent the last 10 years fighting about who gets what in the divorce energy.
No, i will not elaborate.
Uhhhhh yeah. I grew to appreciate Helen more and more every time they showed up. Simon Fairchild was surprisingly fun for an old man, Gerry deserved the freaking world (thank you so much Jon for burning that page) and i think that’s kinda it on my favorite “creatures and associates”
Im super excited for this last stretch. i wonder if TMA will stick the landing. I sure hope it does, and honestly trust it will.
Anywayyyyyy, off i go for those last 40 episodes. Wish me luck!
Finish testimony, or whatever
#tma podcast#the magnus archives#my tma reaction journey#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#timothy stoker#getrude robinson#basira hussain#elias bouchard#tma#alice daisy tonner
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T.hooww training cs cashay: you want to pick a good trainer but can’t tell the difference. - neither can the paper creditors.. oops I cheated too but got the results I WANTED .. Clients how ya feeling when I was with you!? - that’s weird LIGHT IN A DARK PLAXXE GOD .. okay but really mortal me in relation to training —
1. I have training background BUT I ALWAYS USE ME AND FRIENDS COME .. I ran track MY BABY .. IN MY OWN LANE RUNNING MY OWN SPEED focused on ME .. BUT I AM A PART OF A TEAM .. the points in track each events in the end ADDS UP TO BIG SCORE ..
Events = sprints
Final meet ending = marathon
Who won small INDIVIDUALLY , but WHICH SCHOOL WON in general.
I kill my events occidental college ( gcc we practice there junior year ya ask me to join you .. I said - that’s off this is high school you think we’re good!? ( thinking : we have NO TROPHY FLAGS FOR TRACC SINCE 19 something early 2000 maybe a mid in there .. **( hind sight ur asking ME NOT THE TEAM. - HAY STAR PLAYER .. freshman yr coaches iMac ya told Lee I need to do more I’m out varsiting the varsity girls .. I tried volleyball varsity girls see potential but also pretty girl so gotta be mean but also the lightest of the black girls and finally “ur pretty for a black girl” bs )) - that’s weird diversity immaculate heart.
I get hurt running w an Olympian coach coach fedi… junior yr
But not w Preston sophomore but ya sent to SEXX me and whom else!? - that’s weird Lee. And Maureen blind bro ( Bri lesbian waiting her turn “tryna save you = I wana play w you on my side”.. but groom me into protection and use “ur” lasalle coach summer training .. another pedofile n cheap/t coming for Maureen head spot organizer but like .. UR FAT you talk college memories but when tested NOTHING U RUN W FULL EXCUSES .. coach hill race josh Bri Preston.. Bri why ya don’t go on GO.. ya tie shoe - that’s weird .. but talk about the 2 colleges you went to and how ya didn’t have women do shot put but you changed that .. but never threw as demonstration to the TRACC girls or at least not legit .. why ya use me in shot up .. damn I be forgetting events I did in track competing and Yal niggas testing me - why’s she faster than Preston .. coach fedi try “no thank you” - u lost ur in to Olympic trials , weird )
Anyways car accident ya fuck my whole right truck up .. n I got scar tissue from quad tear .. but I rested and didnt push my body when mental didn’t feel it .. but sf IM BORED W PRESTON .. ya wan workout I miss track LETS DO IT - the few times I had John in the gym for lifting .. 16 moving two 45 chest plates that’s weird.. WHY NO ONE HELPING ME GO FURTHER - jealous complexity of a man body composition to tiny lady + LEE BACK END RAPING ME AND BRIDING YAL TO HALF ASS TO SEE GOD COME OUT IN ME .. or was it just “how do black ppl got all this strength in relation to pain!?” - science test rats SLAVERY. A NEW NAME .. ADOPTION .. but ya still pic a nigger on sale but .. that’s weird it’s the female one in THIS house ..
So what I’m getting here is : dark turn my family the first blacks to be sold. And ya kept going.
- that’s odd I thought this was about fitness coach picking
- YA ALREADY GOT THE BEST ONE HOUSED ON THE STREET S
🙂
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( @itsmariejanel ) THE WAY ITS BEEN SO LONG IDEK WHAT THIS IS ABOUT but whatever it is IM INNOCENT I SWEAR
no literally, the thought of random ppl having my babies send me in a cold shiver, thats why all my sim dump sims are randos that im not attached to jdkdfjk
( @lake-lunvik ) SHE HAS A GIANT GASH ON HER FACE AND THE EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE IS TOXIC, SHE’S ON HER LAST LEGS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY I FEAR-
i think its a bit diff than my og style (mostly the sims are actually good looking now djfhdjkf) but yeah! reject modernity embrace tradition kdfjd
( @aomi-nabi ) AAAAAAAAA i swear ur asks make my whole day I HOPE YOURE DOING AMAZING TOO MWAHHHH 😭😭💓💓💓💓
KDJKDDKFJ dw i accept that compliment alot bc its a STRUGGLE making this game look playable sometimes i swear-
after the stds and fights i dont think thats a viable solution at the moment KJDFK 😭😭😭
its just a tag that i use to redirect to on my actual blog so u can see my posts and not shit posts, asks, or rbs
yeah she is!!
yup! his roomie is dove
STOPDFKJDJFKFKD both are taking upwards to a year-
( @aurore95 @hadesdyke ) I LOVE HOW U BOTH SENT THIS IM CRYINDHGFJD thank u sm, now im gonna make it my life mission to find this shirt and buy it
autumn is het so i dont think thats a possibility 💔but they should def pull a john tucker must die
thank u sm!!!
thank u sm for asking!! im doing great just ungodly levels of busy 😭😭
TYYYY literally all my sims have rue hairs atp, she cant keep getting away with it
DKJCKD ive never seen bobs burgers but this tempts me-
maybeeeeeeee, but it wouldnt have links bc i did that Once and i nearly fell over and died
( @aomi-nabi ) NO TYYYY going down memory lane was so much fun omg
tbh i forget its even a thing half the time so by the time i remember my sims have like 10k points so i blow them on anything. also lots of mods use the reward trait system so it makes it look like theres more
( @lake-lunvik ) just for this, im going on hiatus again and never coming back.
( @pixelpeephole ) i dont really have a system tbh, i just kinda periodically go around and check if anyones gotten married or had any babies lmao. also checking recent neighborhood stories helps out bc theyll tell me
IKK every couple weeks i get a large influx of rbs of it and i just Know it mustve gotten around again 😭😭
NO LITERALLY, hes in the deep abyss of the halabi lore iceberg
hmmmm probably never on here bc theres a subset of simblr obsessed with me and want my head on a platter who will probably print the pic out and cover it in the blood of a lamb or smthn (but ive face revealed in the among us server dkfjdk)
SEE ive been hearing about it but i havent started it yet omg, def gonna tune in after house of the dragon wraps up and i need something else to watch djfdk
#asks#anon#itsmariejanel#lake-lunvik#aomi-nabi#aurore95#hadesdyke#pixelpeephole#anon who wanted natia lore dw ill come back to u i have to consult her pa (seph)
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cats and babies
This is the first piece I’ve ever written so if anyone sees this be nice pls and thank u
There could be typos/ weird formatting, this was typed entirely on my phone
I also feel the need to say all of my medical knowledge is from Grey’s anatomy and googling things I saw on grey’s anatomy so this is probably not that accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Word count: 6,160
Warnings: Car accidents, blood, angst (but with a v happy ending ofc bc sad endings are Not For Me), hospitals/medical stuff, again a very happy ending, I would like to emphasize the happy ending so no one gets scared away from reading this, did I mention there’s a happy ending?
"So, what'd'ya say? Chinese?"
They were deciding where to go for dinner after a long day of touring their favorite art museums. Harry and Y/N had been dating about two years now, and (cheesy as it sounds) they loved each other more and more every day.
"Chinese sounds great," Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry. The golden sun reflected off his curls, making him look absolutely angelic.
He smiled, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into full blown laughter. She was confused. "What is it?" What's so hilariou- eyes on the road!!"
"Sorry, sorry," he laughed. "Nothing, just- do you-" he breathed slowly, calming down a bit. "Do you remember the first time we had Chinese food? She blushed, laughing with him at the memory.
Their first date had been... disastrous, to say the least. They had both been nervous, but both trying to act confident. They had decided on a nice, fancy, black tie restaurant, and Y/N was excited. When he picked her up in a limousine, she was hardly unable to contain herself.
However, their plan fell apart almost from the beginning. When they got to the place, a big red sign read "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS"
"Ooook... that's... weird," Y/N had grimaced. "What should we do now?"
"Uh... we could... try the one a few blocks over? Yeah, that's a good place too, I know the owner. He always has a table for me. That'll work!"
Y/N hasn't quite cared about the wrench thrown into their plans. She really liked Harry so far, and she though he liked her too. So she chirped "Sure! Sounds great."
She hadn't noticed how embarrassed he looked when he opened the car door for her. He couldn't believe his luck! He was finally on a date with a girl he really liked, really wanted to impress, and the best restaurant in town closed with no notice? How could this happen? But he shook it off, climbing in after her and alerting the driver of their change of plans.
When they got to the next place, Harry immediately got worried. It looked very crowded, and while the owner usually held a table for Harry, it didn't seem so tonight.
He pulled out his phone.
"Hey, Luke! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, do you by any chance have a table-" He paused, and then his face fell. His voice kept its happy tone, though. "No, no problem at all, I understand. Yeah, for sure, a different night. Thank you!" He hung up, looking more than a little dejected.
Y/N put a hand on his arm. "It's ok, I promise. I swear I didn't just agree to go out with you for the fancy food. We can go anywhere, 'Im really not upset!"
"Agh, thank you. You're very sweet. But really, you deserve a fancy place. Only it seems everyone in the world is determined to make sure we don't get to do that," He huffed. "Maybe..." And he pulled out his phone again. He glanced at her curious face. "How do you feel about Chinese?" He asked sheepishly.
Y/N beamed. "I love it," and there was no trace of insincerity on her face.
"Right then, Chinese it is!" he found the closest place on his phone, telling the driver the address.
After a few minutes of eating, Y/N looked around the table for a fork. She could handle big foods, like the chicken, with the chopsticks, but definitely not the rice.
Harry asked what she needed. She was a bit embarrassed to tell him she wasn't good enough with chopsticks to eat her rice, but he was kind about it. He helped show her how to use them without making too big of a mess. Still, she dropped half her plate on a napkin in her lap.
At the end of their meal, Y/N burst out laughing when she picked up her napkin. Harry looked at her, confused, until she placed what was basically a full serving of rice on the table. He was also unable to contain his laughter, to which Y/N responded by throwing a few grains of rice at him.
He threw a balled up napkin at her, and she blew a straw wrapper in his face. This escalated until she splashed what was left of her water glass on him. There was stunned silence for a moment, and Y/N thought she went too far. Then he looked at her and burst into laughter. She sighed in relief, laughing with him. "I'm sorry, that was too much," but she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the sight of the water dripping down his face.
"A little water never hurt anyone," he said, his eyes twinkling as he splashed her with his own water.
Y/N was pulled from the happy memory of their first date when the car skidded on the ice.
"Careful... if I'd known it was this slippery we'd have found a closer place," she said nervously.
"Nah, we've talked about this, the only good place is the one two towns over. I understand you love Minnesota and all but it is NOT the best place to find good Chinese food," he smirked.
"I will not have this Minnesota slander, not in this house. Maybe you're the issue, with your sophisticated taste and all," Y/N said, laughing at his disgruntled look. "Sophisticated? I took you for Chinese food on our first date. Nothing about that screams "sophisticated" to me."
"Yeah, but we were dressed VERY fancy. That counts," Y/N laughed.
"Oh really? that's what makes me sophisticated? alright then, you're right, I'm, extremely-"
The car slid just a little too far for Y/N's liking.
"Harry, are you sure it's safe to be driving on this? I think it's getting worse, and- look, it's starting to rain." She checked the weather on her phone. "Yeah, it's at that weird temperature where it's halfway freezing. The road will be worse on the way back."
"I think we're ok," He reassured her. "The car has 4 wheel drive, and I'll go slow. I think the biggest danger is us not getting our Chinese food," he smiled at her. "Uh, no," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "I'd say the biggest danger is crashing and dying in a firey car wreck."
"Always so negative, Y/N," Harry laughed. "We're perfectly fine-" he spoke too soon, because right then the car slid again. A lot, this time. They almost slid right through a stop sign.
Y/N clutched the armrest.
"We're almost there, you better not kill me before I get my Chinese food, Styles. I finally know how to eat rice with chopsticks without..." She stopped halfway through her sentence because she was laughing so hard. "Without... dropping all of it on my lap."
They dissolved into giggles, especially when Harry said, "got any more water to throw at me?"
The car slid once more, and Y/N felt her pocket nervously. She had bought a ring for Harry. It was nothing too special, but it was the one year anniversary of the first time they had gone to an art museum together. She wanted to commemorate that with something special, so she had gone to the museum gift shop and found the perfect ring. It had a silver band, a little thinner than the rest of his, and a labradorite stone set into it. She thought it would complement his other jewelry nicely.
She kept her hand on the little box in her pocket, careful not to make Harry suspicious.
He wasn't looking at her, though; he was completely focused on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Y/N felt a little more nervous seeing this. Harry was an excellent driver, and he usually had one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. He only gripped the wheel this tightly when he felt unsafe driving.
Y/N looked out at the darkening sky. She was not a fan of storms, especially ones that make the roads icy. Like a true Minnesotan, she knew that under the right circumstances, a bit of rain could make it nearly impossible to drive.
A car sped past them, almost veering into their lane when it went over a particularly icy patch.
"Harry, really, I don't know if we should keep going," Y/N said nervously.
"I know, but I'm not sure what we should do. I think it's safer to just keep going and hope the rain stops. We're about 10 minutes away, but if we turn around it's almost a 2 hour drive."
"Yeah... you're right. It's better to just keep going. Just... go slow," Y/N said, biting the inside of her cheek.
"Stop doing that," Harry chided in a singsong voice.
"How can you even tell? you weren't even looking at me," Y/N laughed.
"I know how you are when you're nervous, Y/N. Biting your cheek won't do anything but hurt."
Y/N smiled. She had never had someone care this much about her. Someone who knew her this well, almost better than she knew herself. She was so hopelessly in love...
She was so busy thinking about what she would say when she gave him the ring that she didn't hear the horn blaring. She looked up just in time to see the truck driving straight down the middle of the road towards them.
She could tell instantly the driver of the truck couldn't do anything. He was sliding on the ice like they had before. Harry jerked the wheel to the right, moving the car out of the way.
It wasn't enough.
Y/N heard a horribly loud crashing noise, and then there was nothing.
Y/N shot straight up out of the bed she was in, gasping. Someone put their hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her and get her to lay back down. She pushed the hands away as her vision came into focus. She was in a room filled with people and noise and 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.
She panicked for a minute before she realized where she was. Clearly an Emergency Room. There were 4 doctors and nurses around her, checking her eyes, ears, reflexes, pulse, breathing. She threw her arms out to try and get some space. One of the nurses caught her hand, holding it in both of hers.
"Y/N, you're alright. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you have any pain? Whe-"
"Harry! Where's Harry?? I need to see him, I have to, I have to go-" She stuttered as she pushed the doctors away from her, trying to get up again.
The same nurse held her back.
"Y/N, we need to make sure you're ok before you can get up. If you let us help, you'll be able to see Harry sooner. Can you lay back? Do you have any pain?"
"No, no I'm fine, I'm ok! I need to see Harry, I need to know if he's ok! Please!" Y/N looked frantically around at the doctors, hoping one of them knew something.
The doctor who appeared to be in charge ordered, "Someone go get an update on the guy they brought in with her. See how he's doing."
"Thank you, thank you so much," Y/N breathed, finally laying back.
"There we go. Do you have any pain Y/N?" The nurse asked again.
"No, I'm totally fine. I'm- " Y/N brushed her hair out of her face. When are brought her arm down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. "I'm bleeding!" She cried, panicking.
"It's ok, it's not too bad," one of the doctors said, examining her head. "It looks like it'll need maybe 5 or 6 stitches. We can fix that up right away."
Y/N closed her eyes. How had this happened? Harry moved the wheel, she knew he did. How had they crashed this badly?
The doctor who had been sent to check on Harry came back into the room. Y/N snapped her eyes open, looking at her expectantly.
"He is stable. That's the important thing right now. However, he's been pretty badly injured. He broke his femur and clavicle. He has a small brain bleed, and he is covered in cuts from the glass. He's also pretty bruised from the airbag and seatbelt. He is intubated, because he was having some trouble breathing. He might need surgery to repair the brain bleed, but right now they're waiting and hoping it will get better on it's own."
Y/N exhaled. "But... he's ok? I mean... he's alive?"
The doctor smiled. "Yes. He's doing ok."
Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. She noticed she was crying but she didn't do anything to wipe her tears away.
"Ok, Y/N," said the doctor stitching up her face. "I'm finished here. You need to stay here for a little while longer so we can monitor you. There is an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated. If you need anything, call for a nurse. Also, and this is important, don't get out of this bed without someone helping you. You've been through a lot today, but the adrenaline is wearing off, which might make you feel shaky. Do you need anything right now?"
"No, I'm... I'm fine. Thank you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes.
After he left her bed, she felt her pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the ring still there. Then she mentally kicked herself for being worried about a silly ring when Harry was... no. She wouldn't let herself think that. Harry was 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. They were both alive, and they were both ok.
About an hour later, a nurse came in. After confirming that she felt totally fine, Y/N anxiously asked when she could see Harry.
"I'm sorry, the ICU is family only," The nurse said. She really did look sorry, but this did nothing to make Y/N feel better.
"I- I'm his wife!" Y/N said quickly, not even thinking. She most definitely was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 his wife. She wasn't even his fiancee. She slipped the ring from her pocket onto her finger, then held up her hand to the nurse.
The nurse pretended not to notice the fact that the ring hadn't been there before, and that the ring was easily a size too big. "Oh! Then of course you can see him," She said, helping Y/N off the bed slowly. "I'll take you to his room."
"Thank you so much," Y/N said, taking her first few steps slowly.
"Careful- you're still attached to this IV pole," The nurse said, adjusting the tubing so it wasn't in her way. "You can hold onto it for support- yes, just like that."
Y/N got more nervous with every step towards Harry's room. What would he look like? Would he be in pain? Would he know who she was? Would he... be mad at her?
When she walked into his room, she almost started crying all over again. He looked, well, awful. He was covered in cuts and bruises. He had several tubes and wires connected to him, as well as a large tube taped in his mouth. He had a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm.
Y/N looked at the nurse who was taking his vitals.
"How is he?" She asked in a small voice.
"He's ok for now. He is stable, which is very good. He's unconscious, but we hope to see him wake up soon. You can sit with him, hold his hand, talk to him. If you need anything, just press the call button."
She left, leaving Y/N and Harry alone. This time, she really did start crying. This was awful, and it was all her fault. She was the one who wanted to go for Chinese food. She was the one who picked today, the first wintery stormy day of the year to go for a long drive. And now..
"Harry... Harry I'm so sorry," Y/N said, sniffling. She held onto his hand, the one that wasn't attached to a broken collarbone. "This is all my fault, and now you're... and I got off with nothing but a cut on my forehead, and it's not fair and I'm so sorry," She let out a sob.
She continued on like this, crying and talking and crying some more, for a few hours, before she fell asleep in the chair next to him. She woke up around 9 the next morning with a stiff next and puffy eyes. She looked at his face, still covered in bruises, and kissed his hand. The nurse came in to check on him and told Y/N to go get some breakfast, reminding her that she couldn't care for Harry if she didn't care for herself. Y/N reluctantly agreed, going as fast as she could. The nurse had disconnected her IV sometime in the night, and she could move much faster without it.
She got back to the room with her bagel and resumed her position in the chair right next to Harry. She talked to him as if he was awake, imagining she heard his beautiful voice responding to her.
She had managed to keep the crying to a minimum today. She kept telling herself that if- no, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 Harry woke up, she didn't want to look like a monster with red eyes.
Her phone had been found by some paramedics, so she found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone online and began to read to him. It was a little weird, but Harry loved these books, especially when he was sick.
Y/N was used to just imagining she heard his voice with her in the room, but suddenly she heard something that wasn't her. She gasped.
"He's choking!! Nurse!!" She yelled for help, frantically pushing the call button. "Help!"
Several nurses rushed in. One ushered Y/N back and out of the room, telling her to give them space to work.
"What's- What's happening? What are they doing??" Y/N tried to go back in, but the nurse held her shoulders.
"He's trying to breathe over the tube, Y/N. That's a very good sign. It means he's breathing on his own," The nurse said, trying to keep Y/N calm.
"Does- does that mean he's waking up?" Y/N asked, not wanting to get her hopes up.
"Not for sure, but it's a very good sign."
After a few minutes, the nurses came out of Harry's room, looking excited. "Y/N, he's awake! He's very groggy and can't speak yet, but he is definitely awake. You can go in and sit with him again if you'd like. We gave him some more medicine for the pain, so you have about 15 minutes to talk before he starts going a little..." She made a swirling motion next to her head.
Y/N didn't care if he was high on morphine. She just cared that he was alive and awake and didn't... hate her.
Harry was laying in the bed, looking at her with great concern in his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Y/N rushed over to take his hand.
"It's ok, they said you might not be able to talk for a little while yet. It's ok, I'm here, it's ok," Y/N said, smoothing his hair.
Harry cleared his throat, coughing. He gestured toward the water cup on his side table.
"Oh, of course." Y/N picked up the pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it in his good hand.
He raised the straw shakily to his lips as Y/N watched carefully to make sure he didn't spill. She gently lifted the cup out of his hands when he held it up to her.
His small smile was enough to make Y/N cry all over again.
"Oh, Harry," She cried, holding her head in her hands. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry this happened, I did this to you- you almost died!"
"W-what?"
Y/N whipped her head up. "You can talk?" She said, overjoyed.
Harry coughed and spoke again. "Of course I can talk."
His voice was rough and it sounded like it hurt everytime he spoke, but it was the most beautiful thing Y/N had ever heard.
"What are you talking about, it's all your fault?" He rasped, looking utterly confused. "What even happened?"
With tears leaking from her eyes, Y/N explained all she knew, which still wasn't much. Harry remembered everything as she told him, both their eyes watering as her voice shook.
"Why... why're you crying? Does your forehead hurt? I can call the nurse..." He reached for the call button.
"No, no, I'm ok," She took his hand in hers. "I'm just so sorry, because it honestly is my fault, I'm the one who wanted Chinese food and picked 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 of all days to drive 2 hours away and-"
He cut her off by raising his finger to her lips.
"It's not your fault... it's mine. I'm the one who convinced you the only good Chinese food is so far away and I'm the one who was driving. I couldn't keep you safe..."
Harry had never looked so sad.
"No!" Y/N exclaimed. "Do you not see me right now? I'm absolutely fine, you did keep me safe. You swerved out of the way... wait a minute," She paused, realization hitting her. "You didn't think we could avoid the truck at all, did you? You knew it would hit us either way, but you made sure it would hit as far from me as possible."
Harry looked down. "I figured you're more important than me, I had to do what I could."
"Harry Styles!" Y/N whisper-yelled. "If you weren't so 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 I would 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 you right now! How could you do that? How could you put yourself in 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 like that?"
"Oh, that's actually why I got so injured, because I knew you'd try to hit me for this," He smiled charmingly at Y/N. She just scowled.
"Did you really expect me to just say, "oh well, guess she's a goner! bye Y/N! nice knowin' ya!" No, of course not. Of course I'd put myself in danger for you. Always."
Y/N's lip trembled. "Why do you have to be so romantic after you do such stupid things? it makes it really hard to stay mad at you," She said, wiping her eyes.
"Yeah, that was the goal there," He laughed.
Then he caught sight of the ring on her finger.
"That's pretty, when did you get that?" He mock gasped. "Did you get engaged while I was in a coma?"
“No," Y/N laughed. "It's funny actually. I bought it from the museum gift shop. I wanted to give it to you as a present, for the anniversary of the first time we went there together. I was going to give it to you over Chinese food, and it was going to be 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘨𝘪𝘤 and 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭."
Harry smiled. "That's lovely of you, darling. Why... why's it on your finger though?"
"Oh! right." Y/N sheepishly pulled the ring off her finger. "They wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family, so I threw it on and said we were married," She said, blushing furiously. "Sorry about that."
Harry smiled. "Why are you sorry?"
"Um... we're 𝘯𝘰𝘵 married... so... I don't know, I just thought you might think it's weird, or, something..." Y/N finished lamely. She held the ring out to him.
"Happy anniversary."
"Why don't you keep it?"
"Right, of course, you don't need a reminder of this day," Y/N slipped the ring back into her pocket, on the verge of tears because she messed up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.
"No, that's not... I meant, why don't you keep it... on your finger?"
She pulled the ring out of her pocket again, looking confused. "Why?"
Harry plucked it out of her hand, holding it up to her. "Because I want you to marry me," He said, slipping it onto her finger with the sweetest smile she had ever seen.
Y/N smiled at him. "It's ok, Harry, you're very high on all the painkillers right now. I won't hold you to anything you say," She laughed a little.
"I'm not... why would I be on painkiller... oh yeah," Harry grinned, looking around. "I remember why I'm high right now."
"Riiight."
"I might be high, but I still want to marry you," he said is a singsong voice.
Y/N laughed. "Harry, why don't we talk about this when you're sober, ok?"
Harry pouted. "Please? Please marry me? I love you, and you're so pretty, and you're so nice to animals..." He started crying, apparently at how nice Y/N was to animals. "And... a cat! We can get a cat together!"
"Harry, baby, don't cry, of course we can get a cat," She gently wiped the tears from his bruised face.
"I won't stop crying until you say you'll marry me," Harry said defiantly, gripping Y/N's arm. "Pleeeaaase?"
"Ok, Harry, yes, I will marry you. Sure. You can stop crying now, ok?"
"That's good, I'm glad, because you're my favorite person, and I looooove you, and you're my baaaaby..."
At this point Harry was just singing random words, usually circling back to "baaaaby" and "looooove youuuu".
Y/N felt happy for the first time in what felt like years, while really it had been less than 24 hours.
Eventually, he wanted to see the ring again. Y/N held up her hand and he gasped.
"It's so beautiful! I'll buy you a real one though, a real ring for our real wedding. Then we'll get a real house and have real babies, and a real cat," He said, with the dopiest grin Y/N had ever seen.
"Oh? We'll have babies, huh? How many babies will we have?"
"3," He answered quickly. "Two girls and a boy. No... 4. Two of each. That way they won't team up one of them."
"Oh, sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Y/N laughed.
"Every single day since we started dating, you know why?"
"Why?"
He motioned for her to lean closer.
"Because I looooove you," He sang in her ear.
She pulled back, kissing his swollen cheek.
"You're a sweetheart," She said affectionately.
"So're you," He smiled.
"I kind of like drugged Harry," Y/N laughed. "He's very cute."
"Drugged Harry also likes drugged Harry, he feels like he's floating."
"Oh, so drugged Harry talks about himself in the third person?"
"He does now!" Harry smiled at her again. "Drugged Harry is tired... he's just going to..."
Then the monitors started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, bustling around and shouting various medical terminology. Another nurse ushered Y/N out of Harry's room for the second time that day.
"No! No, I need to stay with him! I can't-"
"Shh... it's alright. They're going to do everything they can to help him. You have to let them help him. Why don't we go to the waiting room?"
Y/N exhaled shakily. If she couldn't stay with Harry, she might as well sit instead of hovering around the corner.
"Yes, let's go to the waiting room," She said, after a few deep breaths.
Y/N had been sitting on the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, but a glance at her phone told her it had only been 45 minutes.
A woman in a surgical gown approached her, and Y/N stood up quickly. "What happened?" She asked immediately.
"Unfortunately, your husband's brain bleed did not resolve itself like we had hoped. He is in surgery, and for right now he's doing well," the surgeon said, looking sympathetic.
"Ok... why did the monitors freak out? Did his heart stop? Is he going to wake up from surgery?"
"The monitors went off because his heart was having trouble, but they were able to resuscitate him through CPR and defibrillation. It's too soon to know if he will wake up, but the surgeon is hopeful. I will come back to update you as soon as I can."
"Ok, thank you," Y/N said, sinking back into her chair.
She felt a pain in her chest, like real, actual pain. What would she do without Harry? How would she live with herself, knowing he died trying to save her?
She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and choked back a sob. Would she tell people she was engaged? No, of course not. Harry had been completely out of his mind when he'd asked her.
She slumped down in her chair, wanting to curl up and cry. Instead, she called her mom. Through her tears, she explained everything that happened.
"Oh, honey," Her mom sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. I'll be there in about 7 hours, I'm sorry it'll take so long. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?"
"No, I can't," Y/N sniffled. "I have to call Harry's family."
"Do you want me to do that? I wouldn't mind, they're-"
"No, mom, thank you, but I should. I- I'm going to go. Love you," Y/N said, hanging up the phone.
Checking her phone, Y/N realized it was the middle of the night in London where Harry's family lived. She didn't think she should wait, so she called Anne without another thought.
"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. We're getting the soonest flight. We won't be there until tomorrow morning. Will you be alright alone? Is your mother coming?"
"Yes, my mom's on her way. I'm ok, thank you," Y/N said, rubbing her eyes.
After she hung up the phone, it set in just how exhausted she was. She had slept poorly the night before, because of the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and because she was so, so, worried for Harry.
She drifted into a fitful sleep where she dreamed of cars crashing, rings flying around, and Harry standing just out of her reach. He was like a rainbow, the closer she got to him, the more he faded.
She startled awake and realized there were tears on her face. She checked her phone, seeing that it had only been 3 hours.
She saw the same woman from before approaching her, this time wearing just scrubs.
Y/ N stood to meet her.
"Harry is out of surgery and doing well. We were able to repair the brain bleed. His heart stopped on the table," Y/N gasped at this, "But we were able to get him back. His ribs will be very sore and possibly even broken. All that aside, he is doing well, Mrs. Styles, and you can see him now," She said, Leading Y/N to the elevator.
Her breath trembled as they walked towards his room.
Harry was laying in his bed, looking like a fragile child. Even though he was so much bigger than her, right now he seemed so... small.
Y/N looked at the nurse, asking to sit with him. She nodded and explained that two of his ribs were fractured and his collarbone would hurt him a lot when he woke up.
Y/N held his hand with a featherlight touch, unwilling to jostle him even the smallest bit.
After about an hour of her reading to him, she felt a small movement, barely even noticeable. Was it...?
She felt another movement. This time she was sure of it. He was squeezing her hand.
"I'm here Harry, I'm right here," She soothed, moving her chair closer to him.
He groaned sleepily before opening his emerald eyes and looking at her.
"Hi," he smiled, squeezing her hand again.
"Hi," Y/N said, crying more than a little bit.
"What... did... are you ok?" Harry's brow furrowed. He seemed to have a hundred questions, but he settled on asking how she was.
"Yes, Harry, I'm ok. How do you feel?"
"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes. "But if you're ok, so am I."
Y/N kissed his hand. "I see drugged Harry is still here? The one that is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute and sweet?"
"No, he's not. This is just regular Harry. I can tell because everything 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurts," He said with a small grimace.
"Oh, I'll get the nurse. They'll give you something," Y/N started to get up, but Harry's grip on her hand tightened.
"Wait," he said pulling her back to him. "Before they make me go all loopy, I just want to say-" He paused, looking at the ring on her finger. "I love you, to my fiancee. I think it counts more when I'm not high."
"Your- your fiancee? Harry, I told you I wouldn't hold you to anything you said before. You weren't in your right mind at all, I didn't even think you'd remember saying all that."
"Yeah, but I remember asking you to marry me and you said yes. You might not be holding me to anything I said, but I'm holding you to that," He grinned. "You really want to deny a dying man his last... dying... wish?"
Harry flopped his good arm dramatically over his forehead, wincing at the motion. Y/N helped him slowly lower it again.
"First of all, you're not dying. Secondly, I don't want you to go through with this because you feel obligated, or because you think I'll be upset if you aren't ready to propose. It's totally fine, I promise, but why don't we talk about this when you're feeling better?"
"No, I feel fine," He insisted.
Y/N gave him a look. "Really? You do? Aren’t you the one who just needed help moving your arm?"
"Irrelevant. I feel fine, like, mentally. If you don't think you're ready to be engaged to me, that's ok. But don't say no because you think I didn't mean it. I did, with every part of me. I love you, and I want you to be my wife."
"...Really?" Y/N asked, cheeks heating up.
"Really," Harry smiled.
"And according to drugged Harry, you want to have a cat and 4 children."
Harry laughed, wincing immediately.
"Don't make me laugh, my chest really hurts," He said, still holding her hand.
"Sorry, sorry, they said you have some broken ribs. Also your collarbone. Also your femur. Geez, Styles, you're kind of a mess," You laughed.
"Yeah, really," He smiled. "But seriously, will you? Will you be my wife?"
"Of course I will, Harry. I love you so much, of course I will," Y/N said, gently kissing his cheek.
"Great," Harry beamed at her. "Now that we've worked that out, can you get the nurse? Drugged Harry is ready to make a comeback."
"Oh, right, sorry," Y/N said, reaching over for the call button.
The nurse came in, giving Harry more medicine.
"You'll start to have some relief within a few minutes," She said, leaving them alone again.
"One more thing Y/N," Harry said. She could already tell he was a little more relaxed. "I have to get you a ring!"
Y/N smiled, holding up her hand. "I already have one, remember?"
Harry waved her hand away. "No, no, a bride can't buy her own ring! What kind of... chivalrous... gentleman... would I be if I didn't buy you a beautiful ring?"
"Ok, Harry, as soon as you get out of here, we'll go ring shopping," Y/N promised.
"And... to the cat shelter? You said we could get a cat... a kitty, a cat, a little kitty cat..."
Harry had started singing mumbled words about cats and love and babies. Y/N knew it was going to be a long night. Still, she had never been happier.
#harry styles#harry styles/reader#harry styles/you#happy ending#car accident#fanfiction#the first thing i've ever written#reader insert#harry styles/reader fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you fanfiction#harry styles x reader fanfiction#one direction#one direction fanfiction
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my world is grey without you
pairing: nick amaro x reader
warnings: tissues. this is not happy.
word count: 1.7k
a/n: this is pure sadness. i am so sorry, it is all hurt and the smallest pin point of comfort. my first nick amaro fic, and it’s gonna be ~heartbreaking~ but this idea has been in my head for weeks. hope you enjoy some of the pain im serving.
****
You think Mother Nature must be in tune to your emotions, when you wake up that early May morning. The clouds were grey, rain pouring from the sky, collecting in puddles on the cracked sidewalks of New York City. If you had to describe to someone how you were feeling today, you would just tell them to look outside. You felt as gloomy as it was in the city today.
Normally, your walk to the coffee shop was bright and full of sunshine, especially during spring. The flowers were starting to bloom, the sun was staying out longer, and the weather finally started to reach past sixty degrees. Instead it was filled with droopy tulips and black umbrellas covering everyone’s faces.
You got your usual order, and one black coffee to go, hailing a cab across town to your destination. You planned on walking yesterday; the half hour walk would help clear your head and calm your nerves. But today, it would only leave you wet and cold.
Once you pulled up to the brick apartment building, you paid the driver and quickly ran up the stoop and into the entrance. You buzzed apartment 3G, and after a few seconds, you were let in. You rode the elevator up to the third floor, your foot tapping against the linoleum floor the entire time.
You stepped out and took a right down the hall, stopping at the fourth door on the left. After three knocks, the door swung open, and there stood the man of the hour.
“Hey, Nick.” you gave him a small smile, lifting the black coffee you got for him on your way here. “I know it’s early, but I figured this may help you with any last minute packing.”
“I,” he started, running a hand through his hair, “what are you doing here?”
“What, you think you can just leave without a proper send off from your partner? Besides, I’ve owed you this coffee for three years. I had to pay up before you left.”
That got a smile out of him, as he reached for the coffee, and opened the door up a little wider.
“Come on in,” the foyer of Nick Amaro’s apartment usually greeted you with an onslaught of pictures of Zara and Gil, accompanied by many drawings and art projects from the young girl. Now on his last morning here, the walls were stark white, void of anyone ever living here.
“I can’t believe you got this place packed up so fast. It took us a whole day just to get that giant brown couch into the apartment.” You said, as your eyes looked over what was once the living room.
“Well, that’s what movers are for.” He followed in behind you, taking in the apartment he called home for the last two years. He moved in to the first place he could find, not wanting to spend another minute thinking about living without his baby girl. “I would offer you a seat, but my furniture is in a u-haul, probably crossing Kansas right about now.”
You smiled, as you crossed your ankles and sat criss cross applesauce on the hardwood floor. “That’s alright. I prefer the floor anyways, keeps me grounded.”
You were ready for the pointed stare you got from him, only making you laugh harder at your awful pun.
“Three years we’ve been partners, and you still have awful jokes I’ve never heard.”
“Hey, I gotta keep you on your toes, Amaro.” he sat down next to you, leaning back on his hands and crossing one foot over the other. You knew there wasn’t much time before he had to head to the airport; you purposely gave yourself a small window to minimize the hurt. “How long do I have you for until you head for the sunshine?”
He looked down at his watch, letting out a small sigh as he checked the time. “My cab will be here in about twenty minutes.”
“Alright. Then we have twenty minutes to make the best cop movie script out of our careers together.”
And for the next twenty minutes, you remembered almost every moment you spent with Detective Nick Amaro. From the first day you met, which had a rocky start, to the day he turned in his papers to be with his kids. There were stories of stakeouts that always included pizza and blaring rock music to keep you awake, monday morning bets on who would be in the precinct last, and endless amounts of coffee runs to keep the other person going.
There was a lot of trust built between the two of you over the last three years. Nick had been through hell and back in the time you were partnered together, and there was no choice but to trust each other. At work, he needed somebody he could trust without any doubt, and you made it so easy for him. The kindness and empathy you treated him with from the beginning, even when he didn’t deserve it, made a difference in his life. There was no one else he’d trust with his life more than you.
After some time, you two were in sync with one another. You always knew what the other person needed, whether that was a coffee, space, or comfort, the two of you knew what to do. It made work that much easier, it made the bad days that much better, when you didn’t have to tell them how you were feeling; they just knew.
You had just finished the story about your first undercover op together, when his phone lit up.
“My ride is five minutes out.” he said, the trip down memory lane coming to an end. Your smile morphed from a shiny grin, into a small close mouthed line. It was time to say goodbye.
“I’ll walk you out,” you got out, barely above a whisper, as Nick stood up. He held his hand out to you, helping you onto your feet.
You watched as he grabbed his backpack from his room, patting his pockets to double check he had his phone, wallet, and boarding pass. He took one last look around the place before walking out and closing the door behind him for the last time.
The elevator ride down was quiet, you spent those thirty seconds regulating your breathing and swallowing the growing lump in the back of your throat. This wasn’t about you.
Once the doors opened to the lobby, you felt soft fingers inching their way into your palm, lighty holding you together. You looked over at Nick, slowly, but he was looking straight ahead. You saw the twitch in his jaw, and the bob of his adam’s apple, and you knew he was holding back his own tears.
Moving your hand the slightest bit, your fingers fell into place with his. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, before following him out.
The rain had subsided considerably since you arrived, the downpour now more of a spring mist. You stood at the edge of the sidewalk with him for a few minutes, until he got the notification that the car was only five blocks away.
“Well, are you ready to turn into a Cali boy?” you asked, finally turning to see his face.
“I’m ready for no more New York winters. I am gonna miss just about everything else, though.”
“But you’ll have Zara, and Gil, and that’s all that really matters.” you said with a smile, while gently letting go of his hand. “Besides, I’ll make sure to send you endless videos of me shoveling myself out of my apartment building, just to let you know you made the right decision.”
“Please, please keep that promise and send me those videos. There is nothing more amusing than you swearing at snow.” you rolled your eyes, and nudged his shoulder in annoyance.
Instead of bouncing back off his body, you felt his arm snake around your waist. You leaned into his touch, letting your head rest on his shoulder. You felt the exhale of his breath before you heard it, along with the rapid beating of his heart.
“I’m gonna miss you, you know,” he started, as you focused on the way his fingers were moving up and down along your hip. “I wouldn’t have made it through everything without you.”
“I was your partner,” you said, the past tense already tasting like bile on your tongue. “I would’ve done anything for you. And I know you would’ve done anything for me.” You turned your head the slightest bit, just enough to see his face. “I’m gonna miss you too. More than I already do.”
He looked down at you, his brown eyes full of emotion and tears. His eyes flickered to your lips for the smallest moment, and you nodded, giving in to the moment, and the man you cared so much for.
His lips met yours in a chaste kiss, just long enough for you to remember what it felt like to hold Nick Amaro this close.
He pulled away, gently resting his forehead against your own. You let the moment last as long as it could, before the inevitable beep left Nick’s phone. They were here.
You pulled away from him, your waist growing cold without his arm wrapped around you. There was a beep from a blue car a few cars up, and you let out a sigh.
“Your ride’s here, Cali boy.” you said with a smile, wiping away the stray tear that traced your cheek. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I won’t. Call me, whenever you need me, alright?” you nodded, trying to memorize the smile on his face. He found your hand one last time, giving it a comforting squeeze.
“I will. Now, go, you’re gonna miss your flight if you hit any lunch traffic.” He looked up the street to the cab, before looking back at you.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, and then your lips one last time.
“I’ll see you later, y/n/n.” he said, and you watched him walk down the streets of New York City for the last time.
But you knew you would cross paths with Nick Amaro again one day.
****
tags: @hurricanejjareau @qvid-pro-qvo @crazyshannonigans
#nick amaro x reader#nick amaro fanfiction#nick amaro fic#nick amaro#law and order: svu fanfiction#law and order svu fanfiction#law and order svu#jules writes shit ??
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Therapy Session (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}
Title: Therapy Session Rating: PG Length: 2000 Warnings: Mild Angst. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in January 1999. Summary: Reader goes to therapy after the holidays.
@grapemama@seawhisperer@huliabitch@beccaplaying@rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns@gooddaykate@livasaurasrex@ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn@lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut@snivellusim@lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie@swhiskeys@lady-tano @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy@cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes@findhimfives@pedrosdoll@frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour@heather-lynn@domino-oh-damn@cyarikaaa@ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl@yabby-girl@xqueenofthecraziesx@punkass-potato@coredrive@pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar@sabinemorans@buckstaposition@holkaskrosnou@yespolkadotkitty@fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie@jaime1110@katlikeme
Nancy carefully removed her glasses sitting them atop her desk before opening a drawer and pulling out a glasses cleaning cloth. “How were the holidays?”
You watched her hands as she wiped each lean carefully, inspecting them for smudges.
“Surprisingly relaxing.” You offered, shifting on the sofa as your gaze flickered towards the clock on the wall. Javier had agreed to joining you for today’s session — at Nancy’s prompting.
“You slipped your December session,” Nancy pointed out.
“It was a busy month.” You pushed your fingers through your hair nervously. “But a good one. We went to Laredo for Thanksgiving, came back and went headfirst into planning for Christmas.”
“And how did Christmas go?”
“Really well,” You caught your lip between your teeth, hesitating for just a second. “Mitch and his family came down from Philly. It was good to see him again. All of them, really.”
“So you did follow through with that,” Nancy tilted her head, her eyes meeting yours briefly. “Did it bring any memories back to the surface?” She questioned.
“I…” You started glancing down at your hands. “There have been a lot of memories since October.”
“And how does it feel to be addressing them again? Based on your session in November,” Nancy flipped open her notebook. “You repressed quite a bit of your childhood.”
“Yes.” You agreed. “But, Javier was incredible and let me vent about the past. He kept me grounded. He was so understanding.”
She nodded, making a note in the book. “How have you been managing the memories?
You blinked, “I’m not running from them, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I mentioned nothing about running.”
“No, but…” You frowned. “It’s just the impression I get. After the last session—“
“When it became clear that you avoided addressing deeply traumatic aspects of your life during your subsequent visits?” Nancy arched a brow at you as she replaced her glasses, peering at you over the rims. “Why is it that you see yourself as running from your trauma?”
“Because I’ve moved past it.” You said with an edge to your voice, “Would you prefer that I dwell on it?” You questioned. “It would keep me coming back, wouldn't it?”
Nancy made a note in the book, “Defensive.”
You folded your arms across your chest, “I spent sixteen years living in the trauma and five trying to grow out of it.” You gritted out. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t second guess my actions out of fear that I’ve become her.”
“So you haven’t moved past it?”
“No, I—“
Nancy gave you a skeptical look. “It’s not uncommon to feel like your trauma is ever present, but you have to accept and address that. You can’t simply pretend it away.”
“I have addressed it.” You retorted. “I’ve packed it up, stamped a label on it, and have it ready to ship.”
Nancy shook her head, “Trauma is never fully overcome, it's a process you have to work at.” She jotted another note down. “You mentioned feeling like you’ve become her… Would you care to elaborate?”
You chewed on your thumbnail, looking away from her for a long moment. “I stress about motherhood. I’m consciously aware of doing everything the opposite of what she did while raising my girls. I want them to have everything I didn’t have.”
“Like what?”
“Love.” You answered without hesitation. “Javier and I love each other in a way my mother was never capable of loving her partners. And on top of that, I try to show them the love they deserve. That’s part of the reason why I ended up here to begin with. The way I felt after Sofía was born scared me.”
Nancy nodded, glancing down at the notebook. “The fact that you’re aware of your actions, would indicate that you’re not following the same patterns as your mother.”
“I hope I’m not.” You sighed heavily, looking towards the door as someone knocked at it. “That’ll be Javier.” You told Nancy as she got up to answer the door.
“Welcome,” Nancy ushered him in. “We were just finishing our first half of the session.” She gestured to you, “Please, sir.”
Javier sank down onto the sofa beside you, reaching over to take your hand into his. “How are you doing, baby?” He questioned, lifting your hand to his lips and kissing each knuckle.
You shrugged, “We’re about ten minutes into — why I didn’t address the mother elephant in the room.”
He squeezed your hand three times.
“How have you been, Javier?” Nancy questioned as she sat down at her desk again. “How were the holidays?”
“I’ve been good.” He answered, shifting on the sofa as he got comfortable. “We went to see my pops for Thanksgiving, took the girls and the dog and made a week of it.” Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, glancing at you. “Did you tell her about your brother coming to visit?”
You nodded.
“How did that go?”
“Really well,” Javier offered, shrugging a shoulder. “Christmas Eve we had friends and family altogether to welcome them, “Christmas morning was just family.”
Nancy nodded, “We didn’t get to meet after the Halloween incident.” She flipped through her notebook. “How did you cope with the scenario?”
“How did I cope?” He cocked his head to the side. “Frankly, it wasn’t about how I felt during it. I was merely there to stand up for her.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.
“But given what I was told, it seems that her mother antagonized you. How did that make you feel?”
Javier cleared his throat, rubbing his hands together. “Not great, but after our relationship ended up in the public spotlight, I learned to ignore outside commentary.”
You reached out and ran your hand down his back, “Rebecca knows where to strike.” You added. “She would’ve lashed out similarly to any man in my life. She knew that my father was my lifeline and she always saw any male figure in my life as a threat.”
Javier nodded his head in agreement. “We worked through it. I listened, I comforted… everything you taught us to do after Sofía was born.”
Nancy hastily wrote in her notebook, “On a scale of one to ten, how well do you think the situation was handled.”
He blinked, “Nine?”
You pursed your lips and nodded in agreement, “I’d say nine too.”
“Interesting.” Nancy hummed and your expression fell.
“Interesting?”
“Nothing negative about interesting,” She assured you. “And how has your intimacy been? Has it suffered during this tumultuous period?”
You felt your cheeks warm as you shook your head, “No, it’s been good.”
“A few stolen minutes when the girls are asleep,” Javier added, staring at the ground.
“There was also the night at the ranch,” You pointed out, leaning your arm against his. That had been a risky endeavor, considering you were very much not alone. “And we were kid free for New Year’s Eve.”
Nancy nodded and took a few more notes before closing her notebook and looking between the two of you, “What are the faces for?”
You felt Javier tense beside you, “Nothing we’re comfortable with sharing right now.” You told Nancy, looping your arm through his. “Just rest assured that we’ve got intimacy covered. No dry spells here.”
Javier’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, “Definitely no complaints here.”
You fought the smirk that was playing at the corners of your lips. New Year’s Eve had been all of two days ago — and the memory of Javier writhing beneath you was still vivid in your mind.
But that was not a conversation for therapy.
Nancy hummed thoughtfully as she sat her glasses atop her notebook. “Continue addressing the situation head-on,” She advised. “You can patch the wounds of trauma, but they’ll still ache. Continue discussing it with each other.” She fixed Javier with a stern look. “I suggest opening up about your own mother.”
Javier shifted in his seat, “Alright.”
“Have a lovely rest of your month,” Nancy said as you both rose from the sofa to leave.
“That was—“ You cut yourself off, shaking your head slowly. “I shouldn’t have skipped December.”
“Hey,” Javier caught your hand, pulling you towards him. “December was crazy.”
“I don’t actually want to rehash things.” You told him. “Mitch and I had a walk down memory lane and that’s about all I can stomach for right now. Rebecca doesn’t get to live rent free in our relationship.”
He nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “If you don’t feel like you need to work on it right now, don’t.”
You sighed heavily, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. “I didn’t even get to talk about starting at the university next week.”
“Still a good session?”
You shrugged, “It’s good to talk about everything with a third party. I cried my heart out in November, this month didn’t really have anything left to give.”
Javier interlaced your fingers and guided you out of the office building and down to the car. He was clearly trying to make up for you being disappointed with the session, because he made a point to open the passenger door for you.
You loosely tied your hair back into a knot as you got yourself settled in your seat. “Thank you for coming today. You didn’t have to.”
He squeezed your knee briefly, before starting up the car and backing out of the parking spot. “Baby, I’ll do whatever I have to, to help you.”
You smiled to yourself, looking out the window. “I’m really fine.” You assured him. “I’m not gonna spiral because of any of this. I did that in November and I’m not doing it again.”
He clicked his tongue against his teeth, giving a stiff nod. “What else did you discuss?”
“Uh,” You scrunched up your nose. “The holidays, Mitch, my mother. Rehashed some of the last session briefly.” You shrugged. “I felt like she was hoping I might unload. But I’m so done dwelling on the past, Javier.”
“Me too, baby.”
“You know I worry about becoming her. About curbing those impulses when they strike.”
Javier nodded.
You pressed your tongue to the inside of your cheek and sighed heavily. “It was only sixteen years of my life.” You reiterated. “I’m pushing forty. I’ve got my only family to worry about.”
“And you’ve done a fucking amazing job, baby.” He assured you.
“It’s just bullshit,” You laughed harshly. “Isn’t it something that I overcame my hang ups when Josie happened? I never could imagine all of this,” You gestured vaguely between. “Because I had no reference of healthy relationships aside from Mitch and Darla. Not to speak ill of the dead, because I know my mother was a monster, but my father still left me with her. You know? And I just assumed it would… repeat.”
“I know.” None of it was new information for Javier.
“I mean, did Nancy want to hear me admit again that I still wake up in the middle of the night terrified that you left me?” You pressed your palms over your eyes and let out a frustrated sound. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He rubbed your leg. “How about pizza tonight?” Javier questioned, expertly changing the subject.
You perked up a little, “Extra cheese.” You said, snapping your fingers and pointing at him. “And you can order your monstrosity.”
“Blame Monica.”
“Pineapple doesn’t go on pizza, Javier.” You scolded him, but ended up snorting as you started to laugh.
“Did you just snort?” Javier started laughing, slapping his hand against the steering wheel as he stopped at a light. “Baby!”
“Hey, pineapple… and ham pizza is a divorceable offense.” You managed to get out between laughs.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Maybe not, but I can threaten it.” You teased, wiping at the tears that had slid down your cheeks from laughing so hard. “Thank you.”
“I love you,” Javier reminded you and you felt your heart warm at those words. Still, after all this time they made you swoon. What would you do without him?
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I'M NO MANIAC
Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture
I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore
Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean
Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination
Wham bam, burn incense this instant
Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia
Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened
Should never happen, wait what just happened?
You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?
Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor
Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect
Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid
I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate
Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox
Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box
You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin
My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess
Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin
Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten
You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten
Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell
First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!
I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex
Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star
Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?
No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?
If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate
Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU
Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty
It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty
I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please
Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?
You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk
In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you
Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go
Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga
So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda
I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go
Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it
Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit
Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...
I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green
I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right
Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like
You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!
Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind
You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us
Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to
Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?
I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry
Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker
Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!
Is it true man? You got a new man?
I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!
I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe
Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up
Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,
I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve
Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve
Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!
The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell
Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong
Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"
I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower
Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock
Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip
Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip
4 play lick clit, that pink pink
Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip
Double Pussy grip, like grip grip
Our late night tap dance routine like
Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip
Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!
Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV
All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.
Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat
I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox
Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC
No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC
I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC
Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God
Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot
Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not
I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head
You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head
Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming
I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head
For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days
Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers
Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league
First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,
You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV
Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip
Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play
Get liquid withit
Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil
Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer
I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages
I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John
Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean
Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,
That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito
Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips
I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido
In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer
No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed
Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like
Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider
I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon
I stick like glue, here's a clue:
Day of the week: Monday
Feeling: baby Blue and itchy
Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B
Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical
Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.
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can you do an imagine where ben hasn't talked to reader for like 2 days and so she gets upset and decides to call Joe, crying to him. he comforts her and all, trying to hide the fact that Ben has been planning a HUGE surprise to propose to you for the past few days. (ive been having a bad couple of days and just really need some cheering up :') )
THIS IS SOFT AND FLUFFY SO IM WARNING U
***
Something was going on and you weren’t sure what. Your boyfriend had been so distant the last couple of days and it really scared you. Had you done something wrong? Was it something you said? Was it... Someone else? You hated to imagine that, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought of it. It wasn’t like him to cancel plans with you or be out until 2 in the morning. You finally needed to talk to someone about it.
“Y/n? What’s wrong?” asks Joe, hearing the frustration in your voice.
“It’s Ben... There’s something going on and I have no idea what it is. Has he said anything to you? He’s been acting so weird and staying out super late and I just feel like he’s been avoiding me.”
You spill everything you had been holding back out fast. It was as if of a weight had been lifted from you.
“I’m sorry, Joe.” you say. “That was a lot for you to take in. I just needed to vent to someone before I combust.”
Joe doesn’t know what to say. He knows exactly why Ben had been sneaking around and being nervous all the time. It was because he didn’t want to be caught, but not in the same way you were thinking.
“It’s okay. He’s just been under stress about his new movie and stuff. He, uh, hasn’t said anything to me though.”
You hear a certain something in his voice and you squint your eyes.
“Joe?” you whisper. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Joe’s heart races as you speak. He was the worst about keeping secrets and he knew it. He shakes his head and finds something to say.
“I’m not hiding anything, y/n! I promise. If I knew something about Ben that I thought you should know, trust me, I’d tell you.”
He exhales and smiles at the choice of words he used. He was proud of himself, until you spoke.
“Oh, so you wouldn’t tell me if it was something you thought I didn’t need to know? So is this something I don’t need to know, Joe?”
His face drops and this time he really doesn’t know what to say.
" A...” he starts. “Y/n, I really have to go. Everything’s fine, I promise.”
And with that, he hangs up. You stare at your phone as anger boils up inside of you. You were going to confront Ben on your own then. Just as you’re about to call him, he calls you. You’re confused as you answer it.
“Hello?”
“Babe!” he says, almost excited. “I need you to meet me at Sims Park in 20 minutes, okay?”
You shake your head confused.
“What? Why? What’s going on?” you ask.
“Just, please trust me. Okay? 20 minutes.”
“Ben, I need to talk to you.” you finally say.
“Baby, when I see you I promise we can talk about everything, okay?”
Does he know what you need to speak with him about? That made you nervous.
“Okay... Sims Park in 20.” you say.
The two of you hang up and you begin to get ready. Why Sims Park? That was the same park where you and Ben had first met. The two of you were walking your pups when you caught his eye. Ever since then, you’ve been inseparable. You clean yourself up and rush outside to wave for a taxi. It was now pitch dark out and you were still confused about everything. You make your way to the park and finally arrive. You jump out and spot Ben at the entrance. He sees you and smiles wide. He rushes up to you, cups your face and kisses you. He breaks away and can’t stop smiling.
“Ready?” he asks.
“For?” you ask back.
He takes your hand and leads you to the entrance of the park.
“Ben, I don’t understand what’s going o-”
You freeze and your speechless. The whole trail is lit by tiny lights that hang down from the trees. Pictures hang in the middle of the trail from the trees that cover it. Your mouth has fallen open as you walk towards each one and look at them. The first one reads The first time I met you. It was a picture of you and your pup at the park the day you met Ben. You walk to the second photo and it reads Our first date. The two of you looked so nervous as your faces were squished together as you tried getting the picture. You continue down the trail and realize it was you walking down memory lane. Each photo was in order from when the two of you first met, to now. You reach the last photo and tears were already spilling down your face. The last photo was a blank one that reads When I proposed to you. You furrow your brows and don’t understand. You quickly turn around and Ben’s down on one knee with a little blue box open in front of you. Inside is the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen.
“Y/n,” he starts. “I know I left you wondering what I was up to these past few days and I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you. But it was all for this. It was all for you. I wanted to make this night the most magical one you’ve ever had, because you deserve every perfect thing this world has to offer. But you’re my perfect thing and I don’t ever want to lose that. So... Will you marry me?”
You were beyond stunned. The moment you saw Ben on his knees, you had covered your mouth to silence a sob. You were so amazed and in love it was insane. You couldn’t find your voice as you shook your head yes repeatedly. Ben bites his lip as he smiles wide and stands up fast.
“Yes!” you finally shout to him.
He laughs, hugs you tightly and quickly cupping your face to kiss you. He breaks away and slips the ring on your finger as the two of you admire it.
“You did all of this for me?” you asked, still shocked.
“Mrs. Hardy,” he starts. “I’d do anything for you.”
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Neocity in Vancouver
Hey so I wanted to write a little “the vibe I got and what actually went down” for each of the boys from the vancity show! No one asked for this but my extra ass wants to do it anyways so enjoy!! Also it’s a given but all of this could be false so please don’t come for me.
TAEIL
this mans vocals oooooof i mean we been knew but hearing it live ?????? 10/10 confirmed that this man really has been blessed by an angelic voice. probably the most stable voice i’ve ever heard live
his singing voice and talking voice are the same irl, same with visuals (there was this one part were he was trying to be sexy and lemme tell u that my heart started beating faster and i started s w e a t i n g)
he didn’t talk much during the ments (i really wished he did, even if it was in korean) and i personally felt like he didn’t get as much cheers as the other boys (NCTZENS YOU COWARDS HOW DARE YOU 😤)
would sell my soul to have a mini taeil in my pocket. i can tell that he has the sweetest heart and is the most humble guy, he would be the greatest husband ever u can’t fight me on it
JOHNNY
looking for the embodiment of the word flirt?? well look no further. he is really out here thinking our lives are a joke acting like your typical boy next door crush saying all the things that make your heart MELT
he is a tol boi (even tho i was sitting far away I could still tell that he is a giant) he probably was a sequoia tree in his past life or something idk but he is mr.tall and big
i haven’t seen anyone talk about this but his voice was a higher pitch irl,,,,,, like the videos will never catch it but it’s not as deep and omg his little lisp is QT. singing/rapping voice (sm give him more lines u hoes) was the same and his visuals were ever better
he did a body roll at one point and everyone LOST IT (i for real started crying) he is so handsome and ugh every time he came on screen/talked he got the loudest cheers (next to mark) he is such a genuine and heartwarming person i wish he could just be my friend that’s all i want in life
TAEYONG
no surprises with this amazing person he really is THAT beautiful HIS EYES AND SMILE AND FACE I DIED and is a rap god. it was a little surreal seeing him standing there talking cuz like is he even real ???? was he actually a hologram ????? WHO KNOWS MAN WHO KNOWS
he is one of the best performers ive ever laid my eyes on. the charisma and aura that he has stunned everybody and all i had to say was woooooow, he left me shooketh. sm really hit the jackpot with him. he is one of the pillars that nct stands on and im thankful for it
voice and rap voice were the same irl nothing surprising of course we already know that he’s talented but the crowd did love and cheer for him lots. he started the show strong and ended it strong (also let us see his shoulders thank you sir)
when he wasn’t performing he stood back more to let the other members shine and do their thing (ooooof what a leader) but I did wish that he talked a little more during the ments that’s all i could’ve asked for. he gave me a chill but nervous(?) vibe idk how to explain it
DOYOUNG
this man is GORGEOUS irl his eyes were so mesmerizing and sparkly,,,,,,,he had the cutest smile ever and the vibe he gave off to me was a little intimidating but definitely confident. he knows that he’s talented and isn’t afraid to show it
like taeil his voice was the same irl and he is a vocal powerhouse too. stable and clean. really blessed my ears and soul whenever his mouth opened. his falsetto is NOT to be messed with👀 im not saying that he is a male version of ariana but that’s exactly what I’m saying
he really interacted with the fans during the ments and he was so funny (at one point he said something and we missed it and he started laughing and then said it again so we could scream for him,,,,,,,,,,,his ego im- skskskskskshd)
most iconic thing he said was that he wanted to keep going and going and going and that he didn’t want to leave like BOI JUST STAY THEN i can buy you a house and you can just stay in Canada sksksksj i wouldnt mind if he was my neighbor
YUTA
my fellow scorpi(h)o(e) birthday buddy loml person *insert gif of me crying* he really has a resting bitch face (same here) BUT HAS THE SWEETEST HEART AND SMILE i was falling so hard and fast for him. he would probably be my best friend if i ever met him
he was honestly like a little kid,,,,had so much energy and was laughing and jumping and acting all crazy, he joked around with us so much. but then when he performed it was all ✖️🔪☠️✖️💀 and I was feeling like 527273 emotions at once i didn’t know what to do
his voice sounded a little different irl but singing voice was beautiful *cough* sm give him more lines or i will come for you *cough* and his dancing is off the charts you can really tell he puts so much effort in to be an amazing performer. i’d say hes the next best dancer next to taeyong/haechan/mark
yall this boy deadass wore a toque and said that he looked like a canadian university student and kept saying “didn’t you guys know???” with the cutest little expression ever im DEAD INSIDE and ugh he is so caring for the other members and went to mark so many times during the show
JAEHYUN
ok yall know he’s my bias and can I just say that i died, went to highway to heaven, and came back every time he did ANYTHING ????? like anything. im a whipped bitch phew. my deadly crush on him got even bigger after this - bc he really is just a 21 y/o hot dude that i would fall for irl if i met him on the streets skdhcgljsdfg
singing voice ???? perfect. visuals ???? astonishing. hotel???? trivago. skskskks stop me. anyways lemme just say that this man goes HARD when he performs i was so concerned for him like pls chill a little. he kept milly rockin and pointing to the cameras and doing shoulder/body rolls and being a lil hoe (aka this was the best day of my life)
his smile is something to die for, there is a charm to it. also he is flirt no.2 after johnny. he knew EXACTLY what to say to get the attention and everyone gave him what he asked for. he kept on saying how he loved vancouver and had a crush on it. also called us HOT a few times😪
anytime he talked and came on screen he got loud cheers and he would soak it all in (meanwhile I was having a mental breakdown,,,,,the girl behind me kept looking at me every time like sis just let me die sheesh). he gives off chill but confident vibe - i would be terrified to approach him irl. really is a people pleaser and does things to earn him attention and love
JUNGWOO
babyboy.com ......... he really is the CUTEST member all I wanted to do was hold him and pat his lil head and tel him that everything was gonna be ok. he seemed really nervous but did an amazing job performing nonetheless but i do hope that he becomes more confident in himself when he’s on stage cuz he’d get more attention than he already does
they way he talks and acts is actually baby boy culture but i can tell that that’s just a mask to hide his true side, whatever that maybe, all i know is that we aint prepared for it. his eyes sparkled every time he talked and i know this is annoying but he really is snoopy. i won’t take it back.
like taeil, he didn’t talk much during the ments but still received lots of love and cheers when he did. i personally feel like he could be ncts secret weapon in some way but that is tbd. his vocals, voice, and visuals were the same irl he really couldn’t be anymore perfect.
he tried his best to talk in english and i want to thank him for it, IT WAS SO CUTEEEE. he started crying a little at one point when he was talking about touring and performing and my HEART BROKE like no bb come here I’ll just hug you and everything will be ok.
MARK
canadas boy. canadas treasure. canadas pride. canadas ass👀 and nctzens everything. he got the loudest cheers (obvi) and i swear every time he started to talk/rap/exist everyone would loose it and it made him flustered. he felt really touched by this show and im glad that we were able to make him feel like that
he gives off that typical high school boy crush vibe. he’s really THAT awkward young adult that has it all and doesn’t know what to do with it (you’ve definitely met someone just like him) he seemed a little nervous for the show which was a given and was so clueless when we started chanting his name😂 jaehyun had to take his in-ear thingy out and his face when he realized what we were saying KILLED me
his voice is the same irl but i personally felt like his looks stood out more. he looks more mature (?) in person. his eyes also SPARKLED like he really holds galaxies in his eyes. his smile and laugh really brought joy to my heart. i just wanna thank his parents for creating such a beautiful human being. also cheek bones
he talked about his day in vancouver and started to go down memory lane and was taking about how his school was closed on the day sm was holding auditions and how it’s been a decade since he’s come back (SM LET HIM VISIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) he also told us that he’s proud to be a canadian and that we’re lucky to live in such a beautiful place😭❤️ i- someone come hold me
HAECHAN
babyboy numero 2. he has the babiest face out of all of them but the SOFTEST voice legit sounds like an angel i assume. his hair and skin were flawless and people better stop wh*tewashing him LET HIS BEAUTY SHINE THROUGH PEOPLE
vocals sounded the same but the pitch of his talking voice is a little different. his smile got my heart racing and he has the cutest cheeks i wanna squishem so bad. he seemed a little shy and didn’t talk a lot during the ments. his stage presence really surprised me i legit started screaming “heee heee its haechan jackson” ksksksksks i hate myself
after they performed jet lag he straight up -no warning given- went “doesn’t it feel like we just went on a date?” LIKE BOI DO I LOOK- if you think I cried you’re absolutely right. he’s definitely johnnys son he’s LEARNING from the master of flirting. but he flirts in the most adorable way possible like how ????????
i would 12/10 die for him and also wouldn’t mind having a mini version of him around for emotional support and love. sm also hit the jackpot with haechan and i also feel like he’s another secret weapon in the group watch out yall i keep forgetting that he’s so young and that the best years are still ahead of him i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for such a talented person
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i could really sense the exhaustion from the boys. they’ve been go go go from the beginning and i truly hope that they get a well deserved rest. nonetheless they put on a great show, hyped up the crowd, and made us fall in love with them even more. also they performed jet lag for us and lemme tell you that it was a B O P. i wanna say that i died when jaehyun called out the fake fans bc they didn’t know the album release date i LOVE his savage and petty ass😘, this was my first ever kpop concert and im so blessed to have seen nct127, as Johnny said, i can’t wait to see what our journey together has in store for us. im so glad they enjoyed their time in Canada (they kept saying how beautiful it was and how they want to come back to more cities hekwishehsos catch ur girl dying over here).
#sorry this was so long#i just had a lot to say#again this is what my experience was#and what i felt#not to toot my own horn but#im pretty good at reading people#and sensing their vibes#and im on point for the most part#but again i could be wrong#so dont come for me#also im still an emptional wreck#i really miss them and cant wait to see them again#neocity#nct#nct127#taeil#johnny#taeyong#doyoung#yuta#jaehyun#jungwoo#mark#haechan#neocityincanada#neocityinvancouver
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Tagged by @moosearesocool, thanks!! 🌻🌷
1. Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better. A - Age: seventeen B - Birthplace: Denver Colorado which I promptly never returned to C - Current Time: 13:07 D - Drink You Last Had: cafe latte E - Easiest Person To Talk To: ??? Idk F - Favourite Song: changes almost daily G - Grossest Memory: whatever it was I’m glad i can’t recall it now H - Horror Yes or Horror No: yeah I - In Love: what is love, baby don’t hurt me J - Jealous of People: not particularly K - Killed Someone: get back to me in ten years L - Love At First Sight Or Should I Walk By Again: ??? I don’t really believe in love at first sight but who knows M - Middle Name: Lane N - Number of Siblings: none O - One Wish: the power to refill anything. I mean think about it - wallet, take out carton, soda cup, bank account, will to live. The possibilities are limitless P - Person You Called Last: my dad because we lost him in bed bath and beyond Q - Question You Are Always Asked: “and what are you planning to DO with that course of study?” R - Reason to Smile: sunflowers, dogs, art, pins, autumn T - Time You Woke Up: okay today I woke up at like 4am but not bc jet lag don’t @ me U - Underwear Colour: pink V - Vacation Destination: Amsterdam and London!! I’m in Amsterdam now and leaving for London tomorrow yeet W - Worst Habit: having wildly inconsistent feelings from one minute to the next and changing my art style every two weeks ffs X - X-rays: i don’t know how many I’ve had but there has been some Y - Your favourite food: ice cream? Or dumplings. I’ve been informed that my home made dumplings are not in fact dumplings, to which I respond shut the hell up and let me eat my nondescript Eastern European dumplings because they’re the one food I know how to fuckin make from memory Z - Zodiac Sign: Libra. I’m aware the stars do not give one shit about us but occasionally I’ll laugh at the predictions *** 2. Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 people •Nickname: Don’t really have one. How would you even shorten Brenna? Bren is also not the correct answer •Zodiac: libra •Height: 5'3.5" last thing i googled: weather in London •Favorite music artist: the decemberists, Keaton Henson, BØRNS, Florence + the machine, the list goes on •Song stuck in my head: America by Simon and Garfunkle •Last movie i saw: if Netflix counts, then Alice Through the Looking Glass •What am i wearing right now?: pyjamas, yes i’m aware that it’s 1:30 pm, fight me •Why i chose my URL?: im a simple girl I like flowers and Romanticism •Do you have any other blogs?: no, I do have Instagram tho (@/floralromantics and an art account @omeletteart) •What did your last relationship teach you?: don’t be with someone for fear of breaking their heart. It breaks yours. •Religious or spiritual: technically Jewish, not particularly into it •Favorite color: lavender, a pale green-blue, peach •Average hours of sleep: during breaks from school, 7 ish •Lucky number: never given it much thought •Favourite characters: either assholes or cinnamon rolls there’s never an in between is there •How many blankets do you sleep with: one in summer •Dream job: illustrator. alternatively, poet.
These are two different sets of questions so you all can do one, both, neither don’t let me tell you how to live your life
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Kicking off the hiatus with 5.04
A few people have requested that I continue my commentaries™ during the hiatus & after all the positive feedback, I couldn’t say no! But I expected to have an awful day & it actually went well so I thought I’d go ahead and do it now. You know since I’m going to avoid all my responsibilities anyway it might as well be for a good cause🙃
I watched a lot of shameless on Netflix today so it’s nice to watch something wholesome for a change of pace 😂
“The world was shifting on its axis in 1961, strides were being made, decisions taken, questions asked..” Vanessa’s narration is always on point like I wish I had the patience to post all her quotes 😭😂
Aw sister Mary Cynthia! I hope she’s in the Christmas special
My bby trixie looking flawless while riding a bike, goals
But who is this nun they’re having a service for lol ??
Like it’s kinda irrelevant oops, r i p & dios te bendiga but why do we care? at least I don’t
Isn’t this girl from something? She looks so familiar
i remember saying this before .. oh yea she’s from game of thrones I think. I don’t watch it though haha
“Angel? I could get used to that!” Aw my bby is so cute like yes trix ur an angel
yikes that cough lady, I have a stuffy nose rn and I’m hoping I don’t start coughing 😭cause then I wanna be in a coma cause I hate being sick
Aw he'a so excited! He got into university👏🏼 that was legit me though 😂 I’m so irrational and literally only applied to one university (well I filled out many applications but didn’t submit any others because you gotta pay so I tried to wait and see if I got accepted to where I wanted first😂) I found out in English while on my phone instead of doing work & I screamed and just ran out the classroom 😂 I went to my guidance councilor and told everyone in the main office and then called my parents who *were nervous I wouldn’t get in* but also were literally going through security in the airport on their way to Dominican Republic .. ah, I was full of excitement and hope. Look at me now 3 semesters in &I’m over it 😂😂 it’s so stressful and mentally/emotionally draining and sometimes I’m just like how do I become a trophy wife asap?
BACK TO THE SHOW THOUGH
My bby SHELAGH! 😍 she is so precious in her suit aww, but lets be real the navy suit is the best™ one she owns. But I still like her best in uniform at the clinic though 💁🏼
she’s over here giving a talk on giving birth at home & Im just like holy shit SHE JUST HAD A BABY IN THEIR NEW HOME, I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT😭!!!!
Tom’s so excited for Ian it’s so cute and sweet
And Tom is so cute and attractive ugh, he could get it
oh damn wait Mrs Cottingham has the baby with no limbs
aw yea and she wanted a girl
I agree though little boys are gremlins 😂😂 from ages like 7-14, get them away from me 😂
Ian all hopeful for their future and then boom he’s a dad. That went from 0 to 💯 real quick
Phyllis!! & lol sister W giggling
But damn why they all acting like Sister J is too old and incapable 😂 she wants to go to St Cuthberts, let her
Sister Monica Joan upset aw😭 don’t worry sister you’re Help is needed
Pats and Deels look cute “tanning” outside
“You want to see Anita Ekberg in that fountain just as much as I do” Lmaoo 😂😂 for real though have u ever seen La Dolce Vita? Like Anita Ekberg was too hot to handle. I wish I looked that good damn
Trixie came to thirdwheel even though she isn’t unaware she is lol
But Trixie is serving summer looks™ I love it 😍
Damn though Patsy’s legs are pretty pasty 😂😂
Trixie wondering what the hell kinda magic bra Anita had on, literally same cause I want it. Always need good quality strapless bras for summer👍🏻
Patsy inviting Trixie and Delia gave the side eye omg 😂
Here comes Babs lmao
LOL DEELS IS SALTY OMG
ugh this is when Babs first got with Tom and they were annoying lmao, I got over it though
If I was Trixie I’d be lowkey mad too like that was her ex-fiancé but I’m glad they got over it and are friends despite that 💕 cause I know petty girls that would just cut the other off
WHY DO THEY PRONOUNCED SCHEDULE LIKE THAT? And honestly How?? Like I can’t even lol it’s hard. Oops is my American showing
Sister J out here
Ohh yea this matron is a bitch lmao, vete ya
What is the correlation between going to grammar school and getting pregnant ?? @ Ian’s mom
Lol Trixie’s just like pls don’t ask me
ugh get this nurse/matron or what ever tf she is off my screen before I smack her
I swear Jenny Agutter has such a relaxing voice, like she really can calm you down & tell you all will be well & you’ll just be like “yea you right”😭
Tom is so rational and sensible because if I walked in I’d immediately start screaming and all that like “calm tf down people"
Pats and Deels sneaking around in a convent lol it gives me anxiety always thinking “oh shit u think someone will walk in?”
LOL OKAY TOM YOU TELL YOURSELF TRIXIE IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE
Damn Tom you just made Babs feel like a rebound™
“Who’s to say we won’t carry on” ya will be fine & get married next year chill out
So Babs is only 23, how old are the other nurses *well how old do you think*??
WHEN WILL WE SEE A NONNATUN BIRTHDAY?? *I preferably want to see Trixie or Shelagh have one* but I’d take anyone really, like these people literally celebrate every other damn holiday/event but no one has had a birthday?? Except for Jenny and Chummy but they’re both gone lol
yikes emphysema, one of my grandfathers died from that. 70 odd years of tobacco smoking 😬 he did someone love to be 85 yrs old though. Idk how, he couldn’t breathe for so long
I love Phyllis just saying again for the millionth time
Aw Trix 💔 you will be happy soon💕😭
See! She said w/o Sister J she’d be screaming! Her presence is calming
Emergency c-section aye dios
Turn up at the pub
Lol funny how the dad gave Tom orange juice bc he’s a vicar but he was drunk af the night before his wedding 😂 drunk enough to have little memory and to be hungover the next day
we’ve all been there tho I don’t judge
Is it really CtM if there’s not at least one mention of babycham a series?
c-sections are wild omg
also I’ve never been under anesthesia so I’d be scared af
LOL & also I’ve never had a kid so that’s scary too duh
“Oh God another one” ahh omg
Do you think that was a doll ??
Again this show makes everything look real af so I never know
Is the doctor here the Mr Kenely that I hate??
They really left that baby there to die like o m g
Sister J praying/blessing the baby 💔💔 my freaking heart omg
again this nurse is on my screen and I need her to go, preferably to carajoland
“may the lord bless you and keep you”!! 💔😭
the third deformed baby and they didn’t report it??
“I’m not drunk” I mean you’re sitting on the floor in the bathroom so I’d think you were too 😂
Lol remember.. *cringes* no wait lets not
Tom worked in a record shop that’s cute
damn Tom do you really think telling them to just settle is the best way to comfort him
Aw sister J needs a hug😭😢💕
and yes prayer you’re right sister MJ
Sister MJ, Sister MC & Sister J comforting each other is so pure, all the they have scenes together wash my sins away for a second
wait where tf is sister Winifred lmao, did she just scadaddle after compline? snuck out to see a heathen movie i bet jk jk I’m sure she only sneaks to quality films
but then I say dumb shit like that ^ or even worse/more inappropriate & the sins return😂😂
There’s my bby Shelagh! And in uniform, love it. 😭😍
Whenever Shelagh goes back to work next series I hope we see more of her being a nurse cause I love it
Wild that the hospital was just not saying anything about the deformed babies
Sister J coming to the best detective in Poplar, Dr Watson aka Shelagh Turner aka secret agent Shealgh Turnova™ 😂😂 *forever one of my fave lines of hers*
Lmao Tim helping out old ladies, being a good seed & too perfect of a teen
But damn boy comb your hair!
“I haven’t boiled any urine today, nice to have a change of pace” Lol Babs😂😂
oh no she’s bleeding 😢
I’m having flashbacks to Shelagh’s threatened miscarriage like lets not go down that painful memory lane
Sister J told Ruby it was a girl bc she knew she wanted a girl ughhh 😢
Ruby thinks it was a punishment 💔 ugh my heart & ugh again makes me think of when Shelagh thought she was being punished/greedy when they told her she couldn’t have a baby 💔
Stop the sadness I say, stop it now
“We haven’t got a fairy godmother between us” WHERE IS PHYLLIS WHEN SHE IS NEEDED?
And Poor what’s her name 💔💔
oh yea it’s Linda omg how could I forget that’s my Gram’s name
But Shelagh and Trixie are interacting!!
It’s about a patient but at least they’re speaking right .. LMAO BUT WAIT ILL NEVER BE OVER HORMONAL SHELGH YELLING AT TRIXIE ABOUT THE FAMILY PLANING CLINIC ENTRANCE
ALSO: I’LL KEEP SAYING IT TILL I DIE, ALL I WANT IS A TRIXIE & SHELAGH FRIENDSHIP! 😭😭💕💖💖 they’re my bbys and I’ve been asking nicely
shit ¡¡ @beatrix-franklin wrote a damn essay as to why we need/want it !!
PLS LET IT HAPPEN @ HEIDI & OTHER WRITERS😭💔
Shelagh’s grey cardigan is actually cute *she just doesn’t need anymore lol*
“What the poor pet really needs is a good cry, a bottle of aspirin and a hug in no particular order..but the hug is of prime importance” you see. We could’ve have a cute scene of Trixie visiting Shelagh in the hospital & a little parallel of when she visited her in the sanatorium
or Just give me Trixie hugging Shelagh and I’ll cry of joy 😭💕
omg wait
shit I forgot Ian put his head in the oven
Angela playing on the floor !! So precious 💖
“..Don’t think they’d thank you for that Patrick, they’re both younger than me” Lol I always laugh at that, it’s kinda cute. I like when Shelagh has funny lines , why didn’t Patrick say anything back 😂 there could’ve been cute playful banter. Even this series we could’ve heard him call her an elderly primigravida is a joking/playful banter context ..BUT at least we know now Shelagh is 36!
Yea man those bombs impacted multiple generations
“So World War II is history now is it?” I seriously love these little lines of Shelagh’s lol. Also funny how she prob sees her self as old, and she was what, like my age, when the war needed?? 18 or 19 depending on her birthday (We’d know but nonnatuns apparently don’t ever have birthdays)
Shit. Wait..I feel. Kinda strange and scary to think my future children will learn in school the events I’ve lived through so far ??
okay lets not think about that
what’s the sluice? I know he washes instruments but what exactly is the sluice? The room ? Idk
Aw Angela crying, one of the the only times we’ve heard her make a sound lol
WAIT HE COULD BE SUED FOR BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT WHAT??
“How long have we been broken off?” “A year. To be precise a year and ten days” I know they weren’t really a good match but aw 😭 it was nice while it lasted
Trixie Bby 💔💔 happiness is coming your way I promise
“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think these are the times I love you best..”😭😭 BYE IM DEAD AGAIN & MY HEART EXPLODED AGAIN😭💔💕💕
thinking about it though, they’ve never actually said I love you properly, have they??
See Patrick’s little med school anecdote, can Shelagh share one anytime soon? About anything from her past, I’m just curious.
Was that just a piece of “in the mirror” or is it playing in my head? Honestly it happens quite often, I’ll swear I hear a song and it’s actually in my head
alright Ian so why were you marrying her? you switching it up kid
I’m calling him kid like he’s not probably older than me lmao
Phyllis in her robe I love it
Trixie serving yet another look™😍
I’m so glad Trixie gave Babs her “blessing” & became good friends. So pure, we don’t need any more women being put against each other
“Fuzzy felt apostles” WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THAT? It’s not even funny?
Now the service for a nun we never knew, filled with extra nuns we will never know or care about.
I love that the nurses are at the service lol, like they probably don’t have to be but still there for fam
& Shelagh there wearin a mantilla, so sweet😭💕
“God hugs you” aw sister MC 😭❤️
You gotta admit even if you aren’t religious this show does make you feel some type of faith
“We knew so little then, in a world that seems so filled of opening doors and bright horizons. We thought only of what was new and better because it was new and better. And it would take us to places we had never been before.” VANESSA😭 she never fails with the narration, never.
Trixie helping Babs fix her bracelet bc there’s no hard feelings and she’s happy for them aw
“..We couldn’t see what was coming or understand yet what had already come to pass, yet so much still to learn”
Oh shit that foreshadow was heavy, especially because it ends with a shot of baby cottinghams body in the box.
I don’t think I picked up on that the first time .. Anyway it’s 1:15am I should go to bed I have class in the morning 😭😂
The End.🙃
#my commentaries™#call the midwife#who lets me do these lol#sorry it's long#oops#ya know I'm so extra™
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