#memo's ted talk

[captn3]

ACHT AND PAUL ARE ON TEAM PAST WITH THEIR SIGNATURES NEXT TO EACH OTHER 😭

https://twitter.com/fishhjuice/status/1834404404344115632

edit: according to the latest artbook the signature thought to be acht here is actually karla's, classic event of twitter having misinformation and i am sorry for spreading it orz

for more detailed info: the signature originally thought to be karla's is kuze's, the siganture originally thought to maybe be kuze's is tachi's, and the one thought to be nishida's is in fact nishida's! dont have time to see if theres any other mistakes in this edit

[the-stove-is-divorced]

i wish apple updates, ANY UPDATES, that change one small thing in the worst way possible while giving you no option to take it back, already having taken my info, my data, my privacy, now demanding what little joy and dignity I have left, a very much i hope you perish with fire on your skin and water in your lungs with the knowledge no one will ever love you and no one has.

[callixton]

fucking around on feeld for the first time an experiencing the conundrum where i’m probably more likely to find what i’m looking here and am also being reminded that 95% of kinksters are blatant nerds and it’s real tough to tell who’s cool vs insufferable about it

[liliansun]

DISCORD now has the VOICE memo,, 🤭

[lavender---sunshine]

I'm being so brave and not posting about my current hyperfixation but please know that every day for 2 weeks I've had arguments to myself in my shower before work that usually ends in tears

[yandere-daydreams]

Thoughts on wriotheslay being a scummy yandere?

Like does he murder your crush, frame you, and make you his personal prisoner

tw - implied non/con, abuse of power, sexual harassment.

he does definitely do all those things BUT!!! other things as well. thank you for coming to my ted talk etc. etc.

no but,,, i just think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to scummy yandere's in particular,,, wriothesley's usually a pretty stand-up guy, not entirely without fault but far from the most corrupt person currently trying to make headway in Fontaine's political scene, and he tries to be a stand-up guy when it comes to you, the lovely little thing that somehow managed to find your way into Teyvat's worst prison. it's not his fault that you're so wide-eyed and vulnerable, that his self-restraint and better judgement seem die a slow death in tandem every time you bend over to pick something you drop. he'd just be so grimy about it - manufacturing a secretarial job for the fortress' administrator, making sure your custom-uniform is just a little too tight and a little too short, encouraging you to sit in his lap as you read out memos and keep yourself busy so he can fantasize about tucking you underneath his desk and warming his cock in your throat during his next meeting. he's not just awful - he's awful in a way that makes you feel filthy whenever his gaze fixed on your worry-bitten lips and you're forced to imagine what he's imagining, whenever he goes all glassy-eyed and quiet. at least, when he finally breaks and takes what he wants, you won't be surprised. by then, you'll feel just as dirty as he is </3

[exitrowiron]

Powerpoint should only be used (sparingly) as a Visual Aid for Speaking Presentations and nothing more.

When did memos fall out of fashion? In the old days (when I started my career) I would communicate complex strategies, analysis etc. in the form of a memo. I would carefully organize my thoughts and write concise prose, complete with introductory and conclusion paragraphs, topic and transition sentences and the occasional graph, photo or table. I used deductive or inductive reasoning and wrote in a 3rd party active voice.

For the last 10 years or so, I've been forced to turn these memos into Powerpoints, the literary equivalent of an 'explain it like I'm five' graphic novel. The amount of time (and money) wasted by searching for just right the stock image, avatar or icon and arranging bullet points in colorful boxes and eye-catching fonts is incalculable. The resulting decks are visually appealing, but long and far less effective at persuasive and comprehensive communication of complex subjects (in my opinion).

Thank you for attending my TED talk.

[servetolive]

There have been headcanons about Barnabas being neurodivergent/autistic that are interesting to me.

As an AuDHD person at first ofc I'm like "nah, projecting."

But naw, I think there's something there with that!

Before I fell in love with the character at Kanver, there was something "off" about him. I know the designers/writers meant to portray a confident/empty character, but way more than that came across.

For example, his inappropriate affect. Anyone notice that he has weird facial tics/expressions at the WEIRDEST times? Like he smirks when nobody is saying anything interesting. Or how he refuses to look people in the eyes? These are choices the devs actually made.

I cannot watch his love scene with Benna, Christ up a tree it is the most awkward shit ever BECAUSE OF BARNABAS. He can't even pretend like she matters, he monologues at her for no reason (and she thinks he's talking to her LOL), and he has that vacant look in his eyes while she's trying to be all on his dick. His expressions in that scene KILL me. Poor girl. (What I DO love about that scene is that it's clear neither of them are into each other, Benna just hasn't got the memo)

I feel like Barnabas is a neurodivergent (honestly dead ass autistic) who has "grown out of it," which we all know isn't a thing: we just learn the very hard way how normal people communicate and have to adapt. He repeats things a lot, much of them from Ultima (I have always done this because it's faster and less painful than struggling to come up with my own words).

A friend of mine initially said it sounds like he's possessed, but we find out he's autonomous and just... weird. No wonder he wants to eliminate bOnDs oF cOncScioUsNess because he can't fucking make any lmao

Now he's at that stage in life where he's figured out how to make himself look cool by shutting the fuck up so when he DOES talk people listen, even though he's rambling about some bullshit. But that comes at the cost of forming any meaningful relationships, if he wants to continue being a fearless leader. Much relate.

I love him.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[beardedmccoy]

Matchmaker (Coach Beard x Reader) NSFW

When there's a lack of Coach Beard fics so you gotta do it yourself <3

Summery: Sam hosts the team for the pre-opening of his restaurant and sets up you and Beard - smut this is my first smut in a while bare with

It was special night for Sam, he was about to open his restaurant and had invited his Richmond family for a taster of it. As the Richmond FC social media manager, you had become pretty close to the team – annoying them for TikToks and Instagram takeovers, they had become your family as well.

“I’m so proud of you Sam, this is fantastic!” You exclaim as you greet him with a hug.

He beams at you as he hugs you back, “thank you Y/N, I appreciate it. I also appreciate your help with the social media side of it, I know it’s a big ask doing two jobs.”

“Don’t be silly, this restaurant’s going to be sick – it sells itself!”

“Well as a thank you, I’ve sat you next to a certain someone.” You look at him puzzled and he nods to a seat in the corner. Beard. He leans in and whispers “you can thank me later,” he winks. Before you can respond he’s gone to talk to Keeley who’s just walked in. That little shit, you think.  

Suddenly feeling a pang in your stomach, you go and sit down next to the two coaches. You thought you had played it cool with your little crush on Beard, did everyone know? “Y/N! A welcome surprise!” Ted greets. “Can I get you a drink?”

You nod at Beard as a hello, he gives a small smile and nods back. “Hey guys, um yes please – three shots of whatever thanks.” The guys give each other a look, but Ted goes and gets the drinks.

The night goes on, drinks flowing and the food amazing. Ted’s wondered off to Sassy and you’re talking to Beard about the off-side rule. As he tries to explain it to you, you notice each other getting closer slowly. He stops talking in the middle of a sentence suddenly, you two are side by side now. “What’s wrong?” You ask.

He brings his thumb up to your mouth and cleans a bit of food off your lip. He pauses a moment – still not removing his thumb. He looks at you for a moment, you know what he’s asking. You nod, but as you go to lean in your interrupted by Ted.

“Howdy, party people, what’s going on here then?” He’s completely oblivious to the moment as he goes to sit down next to you.

Snapping out of what could have been your dream kiss with Beard you try to act normal, “Oh nothing much, Beard is trying and failing to teach me the off-side rule.” You give him a smile as you take a sip of your drink.

Beard still hasn’t taken his eyes off you since Ted joined and stays silent. “Wouldn’t worry too much about that, he’s been trying to teach me since we landed here and I still don’t know it.” He jokes.

Without hesitation Beard slams his glass down on the table. You and Ted look at him, waiting for him to explain. “Y/N, do you want to come back to mine?” Clearly frustrated that his friend almost cockblocked him, admittedly you were too.

“Say no more,” Ted gets the memo and leaves the table. You nod at Beard and he takes your hand, guiding you to the door. On your way out you glance around the room and meet Sam’s eye – cheeky bastard has the biggest smirk on his face and cheers his glass to you.

Beard’s cooperate apartment is a lot like Ted’s.  Does the job, but there’s a cold feeling too it. The warmth of the alcohol has hit, but you feel yourself sobering up at the thought of what you’re about to be doing. Or who you’re about to be doing.  

“Do you want another drink?” Beard offers.

“No, I’m good thanks.” You realise that this is now the longest you’ve been alone with him.

He senses your awkwardness, “do you still want this?”

“More than anything, do you?”

“More than anything – I may have asked Sam to sit us together.” He confesses, it’s at that moment you go to kiss him. It’s deep and passionate. Then it turns almost animalistic. Clothes being torn off; Beard goes to pick you up and lead you to his bedroom.

He lays you down on the bed, you’re both in your underwear now. He leans across you, not quite resting his bodyweight on you. Always the silent type – he gives you a look as if to say can I? You nod again, and he unhooks your bra and pulls your panties off. He lets out an appreciative noise, you wonder what he’s going to do next but he gives you no time to think. He spreads your legs and licks your pussy. You gasp.

You grip what you can of his hair and he lets out a loud moan. He finds your clit and begins to suck – his eyes never leaving yours. He continues hooking your legs around his neck, one hand playing with your nipple. His tongue finds your entrance and the sounds of your moaning fills the room. Your close you can feel it. The roughness of his beard hitting your folds. This man knows what he’s doing. It doesn’t take him long to find the spot that has you seeing stars. You come with a load moan.

Once you’ve come down from your high, he licks your juices with and growls. He picks you up from the edge of the bed and kisses you with the same passion as earlier – as if he hadn’t given you the best head ever.

Against him you can feel how hard he is. He’s still in his boxers, so you decide that is no good. “Beard,” you wine as you palm him. He growls again as he gets the idea and puts you down while he gets rid of the garment.

You settle in the middle of the bed, how both fully naked. You’ve heard from Sassy how big Ted was, and you couldn’t wait to give her a shock with Beard. He slowly climes on top of you, once he’s face to face it feels like all time has slipped away. You kiss again, this time slower than before. Your legs wrap around his waist, giving him all access. He lines up against your entrance, sliding against your wetness, you both wine at the feeling.

He mewls when he pushes in all the way. It’s slow and passionate at first – both trying to get a rhythm going, but it doesn’t take long. His mouth finds your breasts, giving them attention in-between. Still worked up from earlier it doesn’t take long to reach your peak again. Your almost there as his hand finds your clit and starts to rub.  His pace quickens and you can tell he’s close too.

You kiss as he’s still rubbing your clit - then it happens. You come for a second time. He follows not long after that with a long moan.

You both try and catch your breath and he pulls out after a moment. You make a mental note to thank Sam on Monday.

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Ah! Nope!|"

"You didn't get the memo?"

"Let me remind you!!"

"This is my Ted Talk!"

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[captn3]

thank you out of bounds glitches

[ode-of-odr]

Shout out to everyone getting my TED talks via voice memos on Discord because I'm having issues typing

[timaeuslover001]

Harry Osborn Headcanon #2

Harry loved to paint.

Harry could write as well. He wrote stories and plays.

He was very gifted as a child something his teachers noticed early on.

He had more creative interest like his mother Emily Lyman, who was an actress.

But he hasn't painted since he was a child.

Harry was sent off to boarding school when he was a kid Norman wan ted harry too have a great education, he was sent to a private Schoo in London.

Harry hate it there.

He could t wait to go home every summer and tried to Talk to his dad about it, but his dad just thought harry just had to get used to it. but Harry became more and more withdrawn from school. He’d rather sit by himself and draw than play with any other boys and even though he was a very naturally outgoing and friendly.

His teachers noticed.

One day his father had gotten called to theschool because Harry was at risk of failing and took a fast flight out to his school, and was confused as to why.

His teacher commented on Harry with drawn and how he sounds most if his time lately and showed Norman and said complimented his talents.

Something happened in Norman when he saw what his art work and snapped. He was triggered back to his ex wife Emily and how she was creative and all those bad feelings about her came out and he went off.

Harry never up until that point heard his father yell before, at anyone let alone him and harry was shocked ,dumbstruck and hurt as he watched his dad yell at him for getting in trouble.

The whole office went quiet at the berating of poor harry. even his teacher was shocked at the reaction.

From that moment after Harry never drew again. He subsconciously suppressed it. But it didnt stop him from not doing better in school either, eventually Norman got the memo at 12 years old and let him go to public school in America.

(I know in the deleted scene we see harry painting in spider man 3 and I always assumed it was due to him hitting his dead and subconsciously he suppressed alot of talents and gfts he had before and wondered if that was the case what caused him to get into it. because i know trauma can also make us suppress things so this is what I thought if )

[paulinawoodpecker]

Tad the lost explorer and the crystal’s odyssey bloopers

(Warning: very funny)

@jycjakkiyoutubechannels

The signal:

Kenny: Mr Sam man! Wait. Sam man?

Kevin: let’s try that again.

Kenny: pickle man! Wait pickle man?

All: *laughs*

Kenny: am I fired?

The florist

Flora: here. Nice roses with perfect scent of-

Tad: *sneezes*

Flora: no! My Flowers!

Tad: *laughs*

Tad: I’m so sorry flora!

Ramirez: oh my gosh tad! Why!

Flora: *shakes her head*

The side car:

Mika: are you sure it can fit you?

Tad: of course it would-

Tad: *fell with his butt on the floor*

Tad and Mika: …

Tad and Mika: *laughs*

The broken wheel

Pickles: don’t worry guys! I got us-

Pickles: *the wheel broke*

Jack: oh my god Sam!

Pickles: *laughs*

Loose pants

Reena: ready!

Tad: ready…

Reena: go!

Reena hold his belt but his pants fell

Jasmine: oh my gyatt!

Reena: *laughs*

Reena: no bro! Why?!

Amy: that must be so embarrassing!

Tad: *in embarrassment*

The break up:

Pickles: dang, Tiffany…I’m really sorry.

Pickles: *coughs*

Tiffany: *laughs*

Tiffany: it so hard to cry and laugh at the same time!

Pickles: I’m so sorry. Tiffany. I’m so sorry.

Like father like son:

Lukas: and you dare hurt my girlfriends feelings-

Pickles: ow! My back!

Lukas: you okay?

Pickles: no!

Lukas: anyways like what I was saying-

Lukas: ow! My back!

Pickles: no! No you did not!

Max: *laughs*

Meditation:

Chai: inner peace…

~growl~

Chai: MR STONES! WAS THAT YOU!

Tad: sorry chai!

Chai: *shakes her head*

The Antidote Mishap:

Tad: Uh… I don’t feel so…

Director: Cut! Tad, you’re supposed to look like you’re suffering from food poisoning, not confused!

Tad: *laughs nervously* I was just trying to figure out if it tasted like chicken soup or rat poison.

Sara: *off screen* It’s supposed to taste like chicken soup!

Tad: Well, I didn’t get the memo, apparently.

The Queen Bee Catfight:

Tiffany: *dramatically laughs evilly*

Ying: Oops! *Sword falls to the ground with a loud clink*

Andrea: Really, Ying? You had one job…

Blair: Well, it’s not like Tiffany’s timing is any better—didn’t she just evilly laugh like three times in a row?

Tiffany: I was emotional, okay?! I’m supposed to be the villain!

The Chase Scene:

Tad: I’m getting too old for this!

Reena: You’re… you’re like, 30! Ish…I don’t know how old you are!

Tad: *out of breath* Exactly, it’s too old for this!

Tad: *lies down*

Victoria: You can’t be tired already, Tad, we’re not even halfway through the scene!

Tad: I have a severe case of food poisoning, I’m allowed a break!

The “daddy” Mishap:

Tiffany: DADDDY!!!

Tiffany’s voice crackles and the microphone picks up a strange noise.

Director: What was that, Tiffany? Did your voice just break?

Tiffany: I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen… Can we do it again?

Reena: *mocking* DADDY!!! That’s your cue, Tiffany.

Tiffany: 💢 Okay, okay, but no more ‘Daddy’ jokes, I beg of you!

Victoria’s “Serious” Moment:

Scene: Victoria Moon is being super serious while explaining the mission to the group.

Victoria: We must save Tad and stop Tiffany Mordon before it’s too late.

Reena: *whispers to Sara* She looks like she’s about to give a TED Talk.

Sara: *whispering back* Well, she has the dramatic pauses down.

Victoria: You—stop interrupting me, or we’re doomed.

Tad’s Upset Stomach:

Scene: Tad is doubled over in pain after drinking the antidote, clutching his stomach.

Tad: Ugh, my stomach’s making noises like a thunderstorm…

Tiffany maze: don’t worry. It’ll pass.

Tad: pass? You think this would pass?

Ramona: Do you need a real medicine or just some… sound effects?

Tad: Actually, can someone pass me the real antidote? I think I’ve got a full-on storm brewing here.

All: no!

All: *explains to tad that he’s mistaken*

Lukas: dude! It’s not part of the script!

Tad: sorry guys!

[darilaros-v]

Alex: Hey! Who took the February Flu section out of my Texas Strategy Memo?

Nora: I did. It wasn't connecting with voters.

Alex: Wasn't connecting?? What are you talking about, that was a huge deal and could have been really bad!

Nora: Yeah and guess what! When an issue isn't really bad, it doesn't connect with voters! That's literally how it works. Plus the flu didn't even spread to Texas--

Alex: (quick breath)

Nora: --and no, I'm not counting those five tourists at the Houston airport.

Alex: (pouts)

Nora: AND the only reason that YOU think it was a big deal is because you had to stay in your room for two whole weeks and wear an itchy mask with nothing else to do but think about getting kissed on New Years.

Alex: WHOAAA geez Nora, fine, I'll stop talking to voters about the February Flu GOSH.

------

Yes hi thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. "Red White and Royal Blue" is an alternate history masterpiece featuring the GOOD timeline in which Ellen Claremont won the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary, in this essay I will

[vintagepresley]

Ahhh, okay, I’m just gonna rant for a moment because people annoy me. I just wish some people weren’t so narrow minded. First.. I’m black so sometimes I feel like other black people who.. How do I say this basically are conditioned to liking only a certain kinda genre of music or artists, etc. They assume well because you’re black you’ve gotta listen to only certain kind of music. (Which for me I have always been different I’m basically the alternative black girl) I listen to everything bc that’s boring to only listen to one genre of music. I’m weird. I like weird shit. 😂

But that brings me to my point…. I love when people find out I love Elvis and they immediately judge me and of course love to bring up that “Elvis was racist” and how can you like him and blah blah. (Literally would argue with my mom about this bc she’s one of the people who no matter what evidence I have believes he’s racist, lol) Or even on tik tok when I would livestream Elvis movies I’d have haters come and be like “she must be white bc she likes Elvis. Like BRUHHH.. What?? I didn’t know you had to be a certain racist to listen to a certain artist?? Guess I didn’t get the memo. Revoke my black card, I guess.

But what really annoys me is when I was at the store and I’m buying Elvis stuff and the judgmental look I got from the other black person who happened to ring me out. Like what?? What’s the problem?? Yes, I love Elvis and I don’t give a fuck. Do research before you come for my man, his music is amazing, his voice is amazing. He’s amazing. Period. Anyway, I wish people would expand their minds and just experience other genres of music bc you may be surprised at what you may discover and end up liking, instead of judging and making fun of others for their taste.

Okay thank you for coming to my Ted talk. 🙃🙃