#memes to release when the venom 3 trailer drops

[bridoesotherjunk]

I'm stocking up

[jigensass]

Long Review of No Way Home with Spoilers.

There is a lot of ground to cover with this movie. Like, I’m going to be mentioning at least EIGHT other movies that tied to this film. So strap in, cause this is gonna be long.

Oh yeah SPOILERS.

First, I’m gonna talk about the things I didn’t like. Starting with number one being the run time which was roughly 2.5 hours. This movie could have been cut down to two hours so easily. Personally, the fluffy banter between characters that was nothing but filler and reference humor because a LOT of people have probably never seen the Tobey Maguire films because they came out almost 20 years ago. I WAS NINE WHEN TOBEY ONE CAME OUT. I only remember bits and pieces of Tobey 2 because I remember watching it. I did not watch Tobey 3 and only know it through memes. Hell I watched the end scenes online and instantly if you did not watch Venom 2, the first scene would not have ANY SCENE and the second scene was just the Multiverse of Madness trailer which was released like a few days later.

Even the end fight scene felt like a drag nor was May’s death impactful to me. Don’t get me wrong, May’s death is a big significance to the overarching story, but I was hardly emotionally attached to this film, for reasons I will get to when I get to the good stuff. I felt the same way about Endgame as I did with No Way Home that I was not attached to these characters at all, but I could relate to some threads in plot.

Okay, Ned does magic now? Will this have any significance in the future? Probably not since the ending was just ripped from the comic One More Day. Oh yeah, references. So One More Day is a comic special made in 2007 where Parker made a deal with Mephisto (in essence, the Devil) to make everyone he loved forget he existed. Fans didn’t like this. And when I realized that was what was happening at the end, it made my eyes roll. I rolled my eyes and was bored a lot in this movie.

Especially the plot point of NOt eVERYoNe hAS tuH DiE, WE cAn FiX thEM :*( is what made me roll my eyes the hardest. I truly felt Disney was making this as safe as they could, even the one f bomb they got was censored. It didn’t feel like anything was at stake because “they’re the good guys and they’re gonna win”.

Peter essentially got off scot-free, got his own personal witness protection agency, and now SOMEONE else has to clean up his mess.

Which is where I will be getting into the things I liked.

William Dafoe and Alfred Molina: *chef’s kiss* it’s like they didn’t even miss a beat after 20 years. And although I said reference humor in this movie missed a lot, but when Dafoe, on cue dropped this line:

I think I was the only one in the theatre who laughed out loud.

Also can we talk about how we have not forgotten this man? Our precious bean Matt Murdock? Yeah, the Netflix Defenders are now part of the MCU. Oh, you didn’t watch these? Yeah everyone stopped watching after Iron Fist. We don’t talk about Iron Fist.

Also there was a random mention of burritos so much that they said it twice in the same scene-

probably just a coincidence.

Oh yeah: WONG SORCERER SUPREME

BUT

Now it’s meat and potatoes time. The story and the one character who has been the bane of my existence and the main man leading up to all this: Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange.

Despite not sharing the screen with Peter for very long, he is the true straight man through this whole endeavor. He started the movie and he ended the movie.

I thought that Stephen was going to be done dirty with the sequel being about fixing what I initially thought was going to be his mess, (but it’s actually Peter’s mess) but he surprised me. His power is stronger than ever and the only reason that he was not Sorcerer Supreme because he ‘blipped’ for five years to save the entire universe. He is still disgruntled and more smart ass than ever, but he knows what he is doing and has way more control over his powers. He thinks with portals.

But he doesn’t need a fancy title to prove his strength and wisdom. If you watched Endgame, we know he is still torn from his own morals and credos ‘I will not kill’ after being forced to choose to have two people killed (Natasha and Tony) for the entirety of the universe to live. And it was a line that he said about fate while in the Mirror Dimension that made me reflect on my current changes in life. Some things in life are absolute (like death) no matter how hard you try to fight it. What he was saying was one: back in Infinity War, out of an infinite number of scenarios where they would beat Thanos, there was no scenario where everyone would live, forcing Stephen to put blood on his hands for the greater good of the whole universe and chose the option where the least amount of people would die. And it still hurts him internally. In the movie Doctor Strange, he did have to kill someone on the astral plane to save someone and he was shaken to the core, screaming and shouting that he wanted out of the path he was down. But at this point, there was no turning back. So why now is he okay with having these villains being sent back to their original universes to die? Because well, their fate has already been written in stone and for the greater good, they need to accept their fate. And re-writing those fates and playing god with something as strong as fate is going to cause time to go haywire and for reality to start re-writing itself.

Which is why I loved the plot. Peter was warned about the dangers of his selfish nature and he got his just desserts. Stephen is innocent either for agreeing to Peter’s wishes (he pretty much is Tony Stark with magic in this film), he doesn’t hesitate to call out Peter on his behavior (the whole reason being he just wanted to get into MIT). He was warned about not following what fate had already written, and May paid the price for him. His other selves tried to help him with his grief by not letting the anger get the best of him and got Tobey-man stabbed.

Actions have consequences and there are people out there who are beaten up so much (or think they have been beaten up) that they will go out of their way to clean up messes that they had little or nothing to do with. People whose traits are mostly static and won’t change for the most part.

But, if their minds and hearts open up far enough, they can change for the better and overcome the adversity that in most cases, like my own, is just the inner demons that have been rooted inside of you this whole time. That scene where Tobey and Andrew are on the rooftop talking to Tom to do what is right for himself and his mentality, it resonated with me because sometimes the only people who can talk you down is yourself.

This is my opinion, but I don’t think Peter learned anything good in this film, he learned that his actions had consequences on himself and the people he cared about most. “With great power comes great responsibility” didn’t hit home as hard as it should and it felt more like something about second chances. There are some people out there who don’t deserve second chances and if the end message is “everyone can have a second chance” then by lord I am concerned for the MoM if it is anything like what No Way Home ended on.

Yeah, I would not watch this again. Thinking it through, it’s more of a 7/10.

Denny’s parking lot fight tickets are now available to purchase