#mem. try to keep better contact with people

[servuscallidus]

It went well!!!!!!!

[missterious-figure]

The Errand Girl

'If you wish to know more, I advise you look out for a colorful haired girl. She travels a lot, and may have seen something that might help ya.' 'Apologies, but I don't know much about this Dark Lord. Maybe you can go ask the errand girl?' 'Dark Lord? Yeah, I know a few things. The Rose girl may be able to help you better though.' 'The errand girl' is that everyone in every town calls the one with the information. She travels a lot, or so everyone says, constantly on the move and not staying more than a few days in a town, a week at most. That's who Y/N was looking for at the moment, not forgetting to ask others just in case they know a thing or two about the Dark Lord. The information is not much, if anything the same, but it's still something!

Finding this errand girl was not as easy as Y/N thought. When asking about where she is, the people would often say 'Oh, you just missed her! She had helped me out just earlier!' and they were back to square one AGAIN. Y/N spent a good two days looking for this girl but she always evaded them last minute. It's like the universe was against them! Thankfully, she hasn't left town yet, or so they have been told by the townspeople. Nobody knew where she went afterwards, she always chose random towns to hit next.

"Agh! I can't find this girl! It's like the universe is trying to keep her away!" Y/N complained in a tavern.

"Looking for someone?" The tavern owner asked as he cleaned up the table.

"I am but I just can't seem to catch her! Every time I ask someone about this errand girl, people tell me she just finished helping them!" Y/N said as they put their head on the table. "Seriously, I won't find her before she leaves town..."

"You talking about Gin Rose? Oh, that girl is always working her butt off helping others!" The tavern owner said with a chuckle.

"You know her?" Y/N asked, looking up.

"Who doesn't! She always takes the jobs people don't want in exchange for some coin or some food. And you may be in luck." The tavern owner said as the tavern doors were pushed open.

"Hey Mr. Tavern Owner sir! I got your packages! They go in the back right?" An unfamiliar voice exclaimed.

A girl with bright hair the colors of pink, purple and blue had arrived, her skin a dark tan, eyes a bright green color, a dark red crop top, jean shorts, matching leather thigh high boots and gloves, a necklace hidden under her shirt and some bandages wrapped around her left arm, having a reddish orange bag with her. So THIS was the errand girl!

"That's her?" Y/N asked as the girl went to the back of the tavern to put the packages away.

"In the flesh! She always helps me out when she's in town, in exchange for some food." The tavern owner said as the girl came back.

"Hey hey, so you're the one who's been asking for me?? I heard the people talk about a traveler asking for the errand girl, aka moi!" The girl said as she sat next to Y/N. "Name's Gin Rose, is nice to meet ya stranger!"

"I am Y/N, it's nice to meet you too." Y/N said as they thought "She has a lot of energy!" "Okay, tell me, why can I be of service to ya? Need a letter be delivered? Package? Did the wheels from your wagon all fall out and the things keeping it together broke when it did and now you need help getting new ones but can't cause you have some business to attend to in town??" Gin rambled on as she kept eye contact with Y/N.

"...Uhhhh..." Y/N was... speechless.

"Haha! I am just kidding. That did happen though, total pain in the neck but the money was good at least!" Gin said. "Seriously though, ya need my help with something?"

"Oh, yes! I have heard from the towns I have visited that you travel quite often and that you may have some information about the, well, Dark Lord." Y/N explained, the errand girl raising an eyebrow.

"Ha, the Dark Lord huh? Yeah, I have heard rumors about 'em in some towns, nothing concrete though." Gin mumbled as she pushed her hair back. "Brings back a memory, although it is kinda blurry, childhood memory."

"Can you at least remember a little bit?" Y/N asked.

"Hmmm, I remember it was dark. And cold, I lived more on the north, usually almost snowing. I strayed away from my hometown and met... someone." Gin said as she scratched her head. "Someone, someone... can't remember who or how they looked like but... they felt kinda off ya know?"

"Off?" Y/N questioned.

"Yeah, like... I wouldn't particularly say evil, but it wasn't totally good either. Sorry dude, but my mind is not very reliable when it comes to childhood memories." Gin said. "I could try and get some information on the Dark Lord for you in other towns though! I am quite fast when traveling so it wouldn't be much of a problem."

"You'd do that?" Y/N asked, surprised.

"I like adventure! And yeah, helping people out is nice but I need more action than just helping fix a wagon ya know?" Gin said with a shrug as she chuckled. "So what do ya say? Is it okay for me to help out?"

"Yes! Of course! Thank you so much!" Y/N said, quite excited to have gained a new friend.

“Oh, and to help ya out, here!” Gin said as she rummaged through her bag and brought out a necklace that had a single, shimmering scale that went from pink, to purple to blue and then to green depending where the light hits it. “It may not look like much but it is very useful! And we match!” The colorful haired girl then showed the necklace hidden in her shirt, which had an identical scale to the one she gave Y/N, who was quite intrigued by it.

The two continued chatting about their travels and throwing around theories about the Dark Lord left and right for a few hours before they went their separate day, that being the last day Gin was to stay in town. No one knows where she'll go but Y/N knows they'll meet her again eventually.

------

(And das done! This scenario I imagine would happen before Y/N meets the Furious Four. Of course, this ain't canon, just a silly lil thing I made to include my OC Gin. Hope it was fun to read tho!)

((Side note: I tried so hard to post it on my own blog but it wouldn’t let me and I really wanted to show ya!))

This was written very well and I enjoyed reading it! It's cool that Gin is a very helpful person, and I like the interaction between her and y/n! Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you like this au!!

[currentshift]

This is technically a repost but its been a while and I found no one last time, soooo.

Quicknotes

Don’t interact with me if you’re a minor. I’m an adult. I have zero interest in chatting up kids, especially in private. 

I’m spiritual kin. I’m only looking for other spiritual kin. I don't care what you are, if you share a source and find me tolerable, come at me, brah. Well--okay, one exception: no kin-for-funners.

This is not a fandom post. I'm trying my best not to be indexed into fandom tags.

Since this seems to matter a lot to those on the opposite end of the spectrum (and because I have zero interest making connections of any sort with people I have to walk on eggshells around): I am proship.

I'm secure enough in my personal beliefs to question and scrutinize them. While I believe I was once these blorbos in a different, past life, (alongside general feykin (the kind that will steal your name but keep a promise to the very letter to their own detriment) and therian feline,) I also acknowledge how batshit cray-cray that sounds. I have my mental gymnastics that I'll hold up to the light when the eggheads discover more concrete evidence about the nature of our universe :P

I think about those philosophical and spiritual things for fun when I get bored (which is a lot of the time).

Lastly, I am a roleplayer. It's separate from my kin stuff, duh, collaborative writing is a hobby--but I mix the two (in that I use kin mems as the basis for my portrayals), so if you see someone out there in the wild using any of these as "headcanons," that's prolly me. It's fun to play pretend as some wayward extension of yourself as if you were still them, you know?

What to Expect

If you do decide to say hi? Nothing. Don’t come at me with expectations. While I like to fancy "me" as being a mishmash blend of who I was and who I am, I still am very much who I currently am, for better or for worse.

Kindating or whatever is an automatic no. I'm an ace and a goblin anyway.

I should also make it very clear that I am bad at keeping in touch. Unless you make it a point to throw me memes or funnies or whatever every now and then until I warm up enough to feel like I can do the same without it annoying you, we probably won't be in contact for very long, if at all.

My Kinlist Obscured By / /s To Avoid Being Indexed

Although I've not obscured the tags so it's pointless. Oh well! Ma/ /jora   (as of 2023 this one may well simply be a soulbond as I first thought) The Moon incident was a display of blasphemy against the Fie/ /rce De/ /ity. His was the Moon; mine was the Sun. But, you know, bringing down the Sun would have made things a bit too quick, and that’s no fun.   I viewed the Oni as a frienemy.   The manga’s pre-story just feels right.   I had experience with the Twili at some point. They used me/my mask to curse Ikana after some treaty or arrangement fell through, lol. This led to them getting banned banished from Termina.

Maj/ /Ora? We were troublesome forest spirits, then minor Twin Deities, that went batshit bonkers when some Goddess started encroaching and inadvertently, probably, stealing our followers(, we were often bad for their health, I guess). We were forced to become "one" when we were sealed away in that Mask by the Fierce Deity who shared a similar fate. :). We're still one in this life, I'm pretty sure. This could stand as a flimsy-whimsy explanation for why I've always felt like I should've have a twin.

Xu/ /e Ya/ /ng   I had a set of blue-black glass vials that were probably not vials but that’s the only word I can think of to call them, do you think I know my glassware? They had etched-white designs near the top and were used to hold powdered herbs and poisons. Probably originated from a different country by trade. Then again, potatoes.   I discovered the Mo Xua/ /nyu of my timeline stuffed his pants to make himself look bigger in certain areas, or to make himself look like he had one, at all. I don’t know which.   The only clear memory I have of Xi/ /ao Xin/ /gchen is from our time in Y/ /i Ci/ /ty. Sunny day, the ruins of an old dock in the middle of a somewhat swampy forested area that had been a lake a long-ass time prior given the, you know, dock. He was laughing at something.

Ga/ /ster   I distinctly remember rigging the microwave, coffee maker, and so on to explode or malfunction in order to observe how Al/ /phys and Sa/ /ns reacted to that kind of thing. If the song I listened to during one of my rare post-fix hallucinations is to be believed (and I have little else to go off of, so sure, why not) then my goal near the end and prior to erasure from my timeline was to Break Everything, Universally Speaking. I can only assume I went off the rails in my old age. Which in turn makes me think the Followers may have been a mystery science cult akin to Pythagoreanism that turned Jonestown. Or perhaps maybe not so Jonestown. Who knows. Ga/ /ster 2 I made a shitty for-fun AU of which I've been fleshing out on its roleplay-oriented blog for the sole purpose of fucknasty porn and all signs point to it from mental images that bear the same impression as any other kin mems to tarot cards to external inquiries.

Sn/ /ake Fr/ /uit I was a Chocobra that attained Cookie form via transformation magic and logic dictates that if that is possible, then so was becoming a Dragon. Lon/ /gan may or may not have annihilated my village and that may or may not have been a big reason for trying to get rid of them, and that incident may or may not have sparked the wanting to become a Dragon ordeal to begin with.

What / Who I’m Looking For

Canonmates, sourcemates, whatever. Kin twins are more than cool, too! Sometimes preferable! Let’s gush over our best boys and beloatheds like the hopeless fucks we are!

The Fi/ /erce De/ /ity, just in general, especially if you’re down for online boardgames.

If you remember those vials? If you remember confiscating those vials? Hi.

If you remember a microwave just fucking exploding in your face? Hi.

Lon/ /gan - I challenge you to a duel to the death in an online boardgame or something.

MD/ /ZS and CR/ /OB kins in particular, if you're uncomfortable with certain ships (Xu/ /eXi/ /ao and whatever the shipname for Lon/ /gan and Sn/ /ake is) it's best you stay away or say as much so I don't expose you to my fluffy as fuck fanatrocities 🤷‍♀️

Methods of Contact

We are already on tumblr. Slide into my DMs. If we’re gucci I can slide you my Discord or something - is what I would say if I were ever on Discord anymore. I'm back on Discord, but I also have instagram. And Deviantart. E-mail's a classic. Or uhh... I can slide you my texting app number, I guess? I can't take or make calls though. I mean technically I can but last time I tried it wouldn't pick up my voice, and also I have sixty free minutes and have to watch advertisements to get more and I don't wanna.

[holy-mountaineering]

Alright!  This full Qabalistic Tree of Life Spread is for @glitchrunrabbit thank you for the donation! 

What I’ll do here is go through and briefly explain each card, its position on the Tree, and then I’ll give you a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole. You know the routine.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map. Maybe as a person, the Qabalistic Adam Kadmon.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the 8 of Swords, Interference.

Ideally, this is using both sides of your brain to keep down negative (mathematical negative which takes away) thoughts in order to maintain balance. Is something weighing on your mind that is useful or is it just detracting from what you’re trying to do? In this card we astrologically see the expansive quality of Jupiter here expanding equally each way in the twins Gemini. 

Unfortunately, this can also be using the concept of “order” or duality to thwart creative thinking and hold back mental progress.

Use your mind to filter out shitty thoughts and negative ways of thinking but don’t block out creativity. Use reason and feeling to practically analyze your thoughts.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of  your hometown is the 5 of Cups Disappointment. 

Like all 5s this is the microcosmic and human part of its suit, in this case the human aspect of water, which is emotion, intuition and connectedness to life. Astrologically, this is Mars in Scorpio or emotional uncertainty making acting on your feelings difficult or at least obscured.

Everyone you’re in contact with, and everyone else is just a human with human limitations. Don’t overreach other people’s boundaries and be aware when they cross yours.  

There is also a frustration emotionally that you’re “stuck in the middle” of where you started and where you’d like to be feeling. That sucks, but, hey, like, we’re all just human. Just yourself and everyone else as much slack as you can for not being where you want them to be.

Don’t focus on your or others emotional limitations. Try to recognize why you are where/who you are emotionally and keep those waters flowing. You might not be quite where you want to be emotionally and in your relationships, but you’re making progress, in your way and time.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material. 

This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you've built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you've built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you'll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like  before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you've made and what you've made it upon.

This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issues much more base than you're willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked.

Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must. 

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the 6 of Wands, Victory. 

This is organizing each action to interact with another to create friction at the intersections. 6s are like the idealized form of each of the suits, in this case FIRE or action, movement. Victory is achieved through strong organization. Here the strands come together to form the rope you pull yourself up with. Each piece is strong on it’s own but when you twist them together correctly you have a much better tool. 

Don’t do isolated things, use each action to build on your goals.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is XII The Hanged (or Drowned) Man, Mem, Water. 

This card represents the purifying and altering property of water. Here is the mystery of baptism, the origins of which are lost but we can infer their meaning by looking into the symbolism of rebirth. The individual who comes to the water to be baptized is a different individual when they leave the water. The element has cleansed them of their old skin and grit and grime and encouraged the growth of the new skin, so to speak. 

This Trump is also the myth of the dying gods. Odin on the tree Yggdrasil, Osiris being spread to the ends of the Earth, Jesus on the cross.  These gods or allegories are about intentionally putting yourself through a trial to learn of yourself and the world. Again, symbolic death and then rebirth with a new knowledge of the Universe and your place in it. 

Good news is you’re going to learn how to be the new you soon, bad news is you have to kill the old you. **General warning alert this is not about literally fucking killing yourself. DO NOT LITERALLY KILL YOURSELF this is purely about ending old ways of being, thinking and doing.**

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is the Knight of Cups, the fiery part of Water or acting on feeling.

Ideally this is the drive to seek higher connections and feelings and being driven by intuition and love. Just don’t fall 

for illusions and false ideals. This is the love that brings you closer to connecting with everything, recognizing connection and it’s drive. This is the Arthurian tale of chasing the Holy Grail *Insert Monty Python joke here* simply to have a true connection to their god. Seek love like that.

Act on what you feel and truly intuit but only to the ends of unselfish almost worshipful Love. Do things that get you really really feeling.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the 4 of Wands, Completion (of an action or a task). 

This is the boost you get when you finish squaring (4=square)  up the way things are going to be done. This is the fiery growth spurt of spring (Aries) affecting the love, beauty, and green growth of Venus. The trump cards The Emperor and the Empress are Aries and Venus, respectively. You have the “lower” conception of this union encapsulated in this card. This is finishing an important action so you can move on to the next goal.

I’d say that you square up with what you’re doing, finish the task at hand, and that’ll boost you forward into your new cycle of action.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the 7 of Wands, Valour. 

This card is the smashing of the order of the 6 of Wands by violent and chaotic energy. Crowley calls this “the soldier’s battle” and as usual, Al nails it. Think of when (white) people used to start battles by lining up facing each other and marching forward. This was generally a really shit way of fighting wars and the orderly ideas the generals had would go away the second people stopped being in straight lines..

Here it is stated that the lines are broken, the generals are dead, the chain of command is gone, and now if you want to survive you’re going to need to charge screaming at the enemy and without noticeable help. In this chaos watch out for friendly fire, shit is confusing right now. 

Keep your head down, march on, break the normal ordered way that you do things. Stagnation is your enemy, slay your enemy.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is VI The Lovers. 

These Lovers aren’t about romantic love as much as it is the ‘Love unites the divided.’ This is the ceremony part of the alchemical wedding or the announcement of the intention to dissolve duality. Coagula.

All inverse and adverse elements of the card are brought together under the blessing of the Initiator who is giving the sign of the enterer. This is to say he is blessing your entering into this union of your shadow and conscious self.

You have some work to do on making a more unified you. There are issues that once brought together and balanced make more sense. Bring opposites or aspects of yourself you’re not familiar with/comfortable with together in your life to make a more complete whole. Set intention to do this, maybe even formally.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the lovely and timely 6 of Cups, Pleasure. 

For reasons, I call this the plumbing card. The water is not flowing freely as though it is pouring, it has been pumped through a series of tubes intricately woven together to fill the cups placed in the shape of a hexagram. Emotion and connectedness to life are intentionally being directed by unseen but invited forces. Someone who wasn’t looking closely could see nothing but knots and chaos and even wonder how the damn thing worked in the first place. Those people are squares and should be avoided at all costs. 

Do what gives you pleasure that also instills clarity. Center on the best you can feel even if onlookers can’t appreciate what you’re doing connoisseurs (and you) will dig it.

SO, to summarize, don’t get in your own way by thinking yourself out of being pleased with your good situation and realize that people are just people  and really the best thing to do right now is just realize that your material world situation is beginning from the ground up kinda. I mean that your situation could use some analysing from the basics of how you approach your everyday life.

And your doing really well right now because things aren’t being attacked from a single front, you are and should continue to live your life as though every action is connected to a larger goal. This is a good idea because in the “Doing” part you’re going to have to challenge yourself in ways that won’t be apparent until they really are. This sacrificing self to self is about finding that Big Goal you’ll be seeking after. This challenge is more about finding that which motivates you in a profound way, a way that connects you to your life in a strong and meaningful way.

Furthermore, you’re finishing up a cycle in your life, a new you is appearing based on this new seeking that will both close some doors that have been flapping around in the breeze and change the way that you’ve been communicating what is going on with you and will help integrate all this new information and experience into your life in a very profound way. Surround yourself with people, places, and things that make you feel both whole and truly moving on to this next step in your life.

This all brings us to “Pleasure” and how the people in your life may not fully understand where you’re going and how you’re feeling about it, but if they are people meant to be in your life, they’ll put in the effort to get you and contribute to this new place you’re going and the new pleasures that you’ll receive from this motion towards a wholistic you, united because you took the steps and signed the contract with yourself to be more and completely YOU!

TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Hit me up with any questions or for any clarification you might need and hey, good luck and Goatspeed!

[javelon]

Nothing More (Than A Forgotten Memory)

"Why the long face, sugar?" 

Chase looked up from his glass of whiskey to the face of the bartender, her eyes looking over him as if to discern his secrets. 

He sighed and took another sip of his drink, "Oh just...a not so good long day. Hell a not so good long life really." 

Her smile turned sympathetic and she set down the glass she had been cleaning, "Would you like to talk about it? I hear talking about your woes is healthier than drowning them in liquor."

Chase's lips quirked up slightly, "Heh, yea Hen tells me that too."

"Hen?"

He nodded, "My brother, Henrik. He's the mother hen of the family so I just call him Hen." Taking another sip he tips the glass towards the bartender, "Anyway, how come you became a bartender if you're worried about unhealthy drinking?"

The woman leaned against the bar counter with a smile, "The stories believe it or not. Lot of people travel through this town and have many fascinating tales to tell. The liquor helps loosen up that information." She winked with a cheeky grin.

Chase huffed out a chuckle, "I see. Well I'm afraid my story isn't very interesting. Just...sad. And one I'm sure you've heard a thousand times before. Can I get another please?" He slid over his now empty glass.

She gave him a sad frown but nodded and refilled it,  "Just cause stories are similar doesn't mean they're all the same, hun. What you are going through is not the same thing as everyone else. Your story is still unique."

"Oh." Chase blinked and gazed down into his new glass, "I guess I never thought about it like that..." He shook his head and took a large gulp, "Honestly though I'd rather just forget it all. And the whiskey helps."

"Are you sure that's what you truly want though? What about your happy memories?"

Chase looked back up, surprised to see the serious look the woman was giving him, "Happy memories aren't as happy with all the bad memories tainting them. So yes I'd like to forget it all right now, the good and the bad."

She looked him in the eyes for several moments before taking his glass from his rather lax fingers. She topped it off then grabbed another glass and poured herself a drink too. Handing him back his glass, she held up hers towards him, "Well then to forgetting old memories and starting anew."

Chase clinked his glass to hers with a smile, "To starting anew." 

-------------------------------------------------------

It was going to be a long day, Henrik could already tell. Jackie and Anti were already bickering, Marvin had accidentally changed his doctor's coat to be super sparkly so he now looking like a walking disco ball, and they were out of his favorite coffee!

"At least Chase is going grocery shopping day." Henrik mumbled to himself, watching Jackie and Anti in case he needed to step in.

His eye twitched though when he heard someone running down the hall towards the kitchen. Honestly was he the only adult here?

"Chase vhat have I said about running in zhe halls?!" He yelled at the running figure only to pause when he saw a frantic looking Jameson instead. "Jamie?? Vhat ever is zhe matter?"

Everyone stopped and turned to the youngest ego in surprise, they had never seen him run ever, much less in the house.

Jameson was trying to sign with shaky handy but finally just started tugging on Henrik's sleeve frantically when he realized nobody could understand then ran back down the hall. 

The doctor jogged after him, a knot of concern and apprehension forming in his chest, "Jamie, slow down! Talk to me!"

Henrik's knot grew when he saw Jameson run into Chase's room. He knew Chase had gone drinking but he was only slightly intoxicated when he came home last night. Had something happened??

Skidding into the room, Henrik froze when he saw Chase curled into a ball in the corner, body wracked with sobs.

"Oh Chase..." Henrik murmured, his heart breaking for his brother. What had gone wrong? Chase had been doing better! Or at least Henrik thought he had been...

Jameson had already knelt in front of Chase, trying to get Chase to look up. Henrik knelt beside him and placed a comforting hand on Chase's knee, "Chase, vhat's wrong? Talk to us."

Chase flinched at his touch but peered up from behind his arms, "W...Wh...who a..are y...y..you?"

Henrik froze in shock. Did he..? Surely he had heard Chase wrong.

"...Vhat? Could you repeat zhat?"

Chase took a deep shuddering breath, "Wh...who are y..you?"

Doing his best impression of a goldfish, Henrik couldn't answer for a moment, "I...vhat do you mean who am I? I...it's Henrik. Zhe great Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein! I'm your brother, Chase!" His tone grew increasingly frantic when he didn't see any recognition in Chase's face.

"Ch-Chase? Is...is that m-my name?" Chase whispered.

"Is that your name?!?" Jackie's alarmed voice came from the doorway.

Chase curled in on himself more, his sobs renewed, "I-I do-don't kn-know! I c-can't re-mem-b-ber!!"

Henrik lurched forward and embraced his sobbing brother, "Shhh shhh it's ok, Chase. It's going to be ok." Chase initially flinched but gradually relaxed as Henrik rocked him slowly, running his fingers through Chase's hair as he continued his gentle tirade of comforting words. 

Finally Chase quieted down and when his blue eyes peaked up at Henrik, the doctor smiled, "Zhere you are. I know zhis is scary but it's going to be ok. We're family and we're going to take care of you." 

Chase sniffed a couple times and peered around at the others who were trying to hide their own looks of fear and concern, "I...I'm s-sorry. I don't...recognize a-any of you."

Swallowing down a lump of sorrow Henrik pasted on a brilliant smile, "Zhat's alright! Ve shall simply introduce ourselves until ve can figure out your amnesia. We're your brothers, Chase. Zhis here is our little brother, Jameson or Jamie as we usually call him." Jameson waved hello with a teary smile.

Henrik shifted so he was facing the three by behind them, keeping his arm wrapped around Chase's shoulders, and pointed at Anti, "Zhis grumpy one is your overprotective knife obsessed older brother, Antisepticeye or Anti." 

Anti huffed, "I'm the right amount of protective, doc. Have you seen what happens in this family?" He still gave Chase a small wave with a smile though.

The doctor chose to ignore Anti's comment and moved on to Marvin, "Zhis is our older brother and resident magician, Marvin or Marv." Marvin gave a tiny wave as Chase's eyes widened. 

"Can you really do magic?" Chase asked softly.

Marvin's smile grew, "I can. Would you like to see?" At Chase's nod Marvin held up his hand, letting Chase see light gather in his palm before it formed a flower. He held out the flower to Chase who took it carefully and gazed at it in wonder.

"It's real. That's amazing, Marvin!" Chase gasped.

Henrik was glad Chase was fixated on the flower and didn't see Marvin's brief look of sadness mixed with pride. The doctor cleared his throat and pointed to Jackie next when Chase looked up, "Jackieboy Man or Jackie here is our resident super hero and our eldest brother."

Jackie smiled and waved as well. At Chase' curious look Jackie let his eyes glow green and his feet lifting off the ground to hover, grinning when he heard Chase's excited gasp. "I can demonstrate more later. Hen doesn't like me using my powers in the house. Too much can break." Jackie winked causing Chase to chuckle.

"And finally I am Henrik von Schneeplestein, resident doctor and your older brother." 

"And resident mother hen." Marvin teased. 

Henrik rolled his eyes, "Someone has to fuss over you lot or you'd all have one foot in zhe grave!"

"Seems Anti isn't the only overprotective one." Jackie laughed.

"Yea how many times have you followed one of us home from the rooftops again Jackie?" Marvin held his chin in an exaggerated pondering pose.

"There's a lot of bad people out there that could mug one of you! And like you haven't put a tracking spell on us when we've gone out of town."

Warm exasperation filled Henrik's chest as the two continued their banter, Anti chiming in a bit. Movement from Jamie made the doctor turn to see Jamie was showing Chase his notepad which said "They're all protective of this family. Especially you and I as the youngest." 

Henrik frowned and held Chase just a little tighter. They obviously hadn't been protective enough. Something had gone wrong between last night and this morning and none of them knew what that something was.

He cleared his throat again, getting everyone's attention, "Ve can debate vho is zhe most protective one later. For now, Chase, I vould like you to come vith me to zhe hospital. I vould like to use the equipment zhere to see if your amnesia is a medical issue. Meanwhile Marvin I vould like you to investigate any magical reasons zhis could have happened. And contact Jack. He vill vish to know vhat's going on. Jackie and Anti, check zhe security footage of everywhere Chase went last night. See if anyone may have attacked him."

The three nodded and left to complete their tasks. Henrik looked back down at Chase who looked a bit apprehensive, "I promise you everything vill be alright. Ve'll get to zhe bottom of zhis or I am not zhe great Dr. Schneeplestein!"

Chase gave him a small grin and let himself be pulled to his feet, following Jamie and Henrik out of the room. Henrik just hoped they got to the bottom of this soon.

-------------------------------------------------------

Three weeks later and Henrik found himself in the bar Marvin and Jack, sitting in a corner booth watching the other patrons there. 

"Vhy are ve here, Marvin?" 

"Yea, Marv. What do you hope to find here?" Jack asked, looking around for some sort of clue.

Marvin sighed, "I...am not sure. But this was the last place Chase was when his memories were still intact."

"You're hoping to retrace his steps?" Henrik asked, smiling at the waitress approaching them.

"Afternoon boys. What can I get you?" She gave them a big smile, holding her pen and pad at the ready.

"Just a coffee for me, please. Two creams." Marvin requested.

"I'll take a coke zero annnd will you guys share some nachos with me?" Jack looked at them both.

Henrik nodded while Marvin said, "Sure I could eat."

"And a pilsner for me." Henrik ordered. It had been a long couple of weeks. A drink would do wonders for his nerves.

When she walked off with their orders Henrik spoke up, "Vell ve haven't had any luck with every other route we've tried."

Jack chewed on his thumbnail, "But it's been a couple weeks. Would there still be any hints here?"

Henrik shrugged, "Possibly? Marvin believes magic is at play and magic doesn't dissipate quickly. Right Marv? Marvin?"

Marvin put a finger to his lips, his eyes locked on the bar area. Henrik and Jack looked over, trying to see what caught his attention. 

"Marv-?"

"That bartender is the one that was in the security footage. She was the one who served Chase." Marvin interrupted Jack.

"Ok?" Jack gave him a quizzical look.

"She's not human."

Henrik and Jack snapped their eyes back to the bartender who was talking with a patron sitting at the counter, "Are you sure? She looks normal to me." Jack tilted his head slightly, as if the different angle would reveal what Marvin saw.

"I'm sure. She has the aura of a supernatural being." Marvon explained, his eyes still trained on her.

"Hmm so she could be zhe one zhat erased Chase's memories..." Henrik murmured.

Jack's brows furrowed, "But...we don't know her. Why would she attack Chase?"

The three sat in silence, no one having the answer to that. They averted their eyes when their orders came, subtly glancing at the bar between bites of nachos. When the bartender served her patron and herself a drink, clinking them together, Marvin shot to his feet.

"Marv-!" Henrik tried to follow only to pause when Marvin shot a quick, "Stay here." over his shoulder and walked briskly towards the bar.

Wishing for Jackie's super hearing, Henrik and Jack could only watch as Marvin said something to the woman. She looked surprised then...pleased? Yea she was definitely giving Marvin a smile despite his borderline angry look. Though she did look a bit sheepish. She nodded towards their table and Marvin seemed to hesitate. He ends up giving her a curt nod and after she motioned for someone else to man the bar she and Marvin walked back to the table. 

"Good day, gentlemen. Name's Iris." She held out her hand in greeting after sliding into Marvin's previous spot, the magician sliding in next to her.

"Henrik."

"Jack."

They hesitantly shook her hand, looking from her to Marvin in confusion. 

She seemed to ignore their confusion and leaned forward onto the table, "So Marvin says you'd like to discuss your brother?"

"Err yes? Did you serve Chase here 3 weeks ago?" Jack asked, shifting awkwardly.

"Single dad with the skull ball cap? I did indeed. He was rather sad that evening. Is he doing better now?"

Henrik felt so confused. This woman sounded like she was actually concerned about Chase. But...

"Then why did you curse him??" Marvin hissed, his fist clenched.

Iris looked at him in alarm, "Curse him? I didn't curse him. I simply granted his wish."

"His wish vas to erase all his memories??" Henrik wasn't sure he could believe that. They knew Chase was having a hard time but to erase all his memories? Even the good ones?

Her smile was sympathetic, "He said he wished to forget it all. I'm a djinn and when someone wishes for something around me I am compelled to grant their wish. I did ask if he was sure he wanted to forget everything though."

The three of them stared at her incredulously. "Well it was a bad wish! You have to change him back!" Jack exclaimed. 

Iris sat back and regarded them all carefully, "I can do that, if that is a wish you make. But!" She held up a hand to stop them from saying anything, "Is he not happier now that his previous troubles no longer weigh him down?"

Marvin sputtered for a moment before loudly exclaiming, "At the cost of forgetting his brothers! His kids! All his past GOOD memories!"

"Marvin!" Henrik hissed as people turned to look at them.

When the people looked away Iris replied, "This is true. I imagine reintroducing yourselves to your bbrother was not easy. And I've no doubt his kids were confused."

Henrik winced at the reminder of having to reintroduce Chase's own kids to him while trying to explain to Stacy enough of what was going on to convince her the kids were still safe to come over. 

"Like I said I can return him to how he was if you wish it. Just know that means everything comes back good and bad. Are you prepared to deal with his depression returning because you wished for his memories back?"

The three paused and looked at each other. Henrik took a large sip of his pilsner as he thought over her question. It was true Chase not remembering certain things was hard. However after the bumpy first week he was doing rather well. In fact he was happier than Henrik had seen him in years. And it had been a small blessing when Chase had seen and talked to Stacy without even a twinge of his old heartbreak. And for whatever reason Stacy seemed more willing to let the kids see Chase more often once she realized Chase truly didn't remember her.

Was it really the right thing to do? To make Chase remember? Suppressing memories was an unhealthy way of dealing with things. But if the memories were completely forgotten? Chase didn't even have nightmares anymore! 

Henrik swallowed hard when Marvin and Jack looked to him, their eyes reflecting the same turmoil he felt. 

What do they do? What was the right thing to do? 

He didn't know. 

-------------------------------------------------------

Sorry about the cliffhanger like ending guys. But I felt like this decision would truly be tough so I decided to leave it like this so you all can decide for yourselves what happens. Which choice would you make?

Thanks for reading!

[convergencecon]

CONvergence 2019 is Imminent! Here’s What You Need To Know!

We know you are excited to be part of CONvergence’s reboot, rebirth, and evolution this year at CONvergence 2019: The Next Celebration! Here is a list of things to keep in mind to ensure both you and everyone around you have a fantastic convention.

Getting to the Convention

In partnership with Metro Transit, CONvergence members can get free bus and train passes for Friday and Saturday of CONvergence 2019! Head over to the Bus and Train page to download your passes, plus get all the information you need to know about using public transportation to get to and from CONvergence.

Of course, the Metro Transit is not the only way to get to the con. You can also ride your bike and take advantage of one of the 6 bicycle racks surrounding the Hyatt, use ride sharing, or drive and park Downtown. Click here for a list of current and upcoming road construction projects in the Twin Cities Metro area that you should be aware of if you are driving, and head over to the Parking page for parking information.

If you utilize the e-scooters that are common in downtown Minneapolis, please be sure to park them in the designated area outside the Hyatt. This will help keep sidewalks clear and accessible for everyone, plus it will help people find scooters when they want to use them!

Picking Up Your Badge

Your first stop at CONvergence 2019 will probably be picking up your badge. Head over to the Badge Pick-Up page for Registration’s hours of operation, and everything else you need to know about picking up your CONvergence 2019 membership badge.

Be Aware of Changes for 2019

With the change of venue to the Hyatt Regency, there will be many new experiences and tweaks to CONvergence, and some of them are pretty exciting. Here is a quick overview of some things to be aware of:

Poster hanging begins at 8:00am on Thursday morning.

Starting Friday, CoF2E2 Free Coffee Shop is open in the morning again! Due to circumstances outside or control, espresso and drip-brew coffee will be available starting Friday afternoon, but cold press coffee and the entire selection of tea will be available starting Thursday!

CONvergence 2019 will not have the Art of the Dress Runway show. Instead, anyone who wishes to show off their great costume without having to do a formal performance can participate in the CONvergence Masquerade by entering their costume as a new entry category called “Runway”.

During CONvergence 2019 you can enter the Hall Costume Contest via your Instagram account.

CVG-TV will be streaming events live as usual online, but not on a hotel TV channel. For information about watching CVG-TV on your hotel room’s TV, visit the CVG-TV page.

MainStage is now twice as large as it’s ever been. There is now more than enough room for everyone who wants to watch MainStage events to come down to MainStage and be right there in the action!

Cinema Rex, Theater Nippon, and the Teen Room have all their usual snacks again!

Official Mobile Parties will be roaming throughout the hotel during the convention!

CONvergence welcomes a new dedicated spoken word performance space, Wordslingers Way!

Connie’s Quantum Sandbox now has two whole rooms, and a new space called the Backyard Playhouse, featuring drop-in activities available for you to have some fun with whenever you stop by!

Per the CONvergence 2019 Costunes/Clothing policy, nipples and areolas of all members, regardless of gender presentation, must be completely covered by opaque material.

The list of Safe Spaces has been updated for 2019.

Lastly, it is a very good idea to look over the CONvergence Member Conduct Policies before you arrive at the convention, as they are revised every year and have had some significant revisions due to the change of venue.

Official CONvergence Media

Keep a look out for official CONvergence media during the convention! They photograph, video, and report on the convention to share online, on CVG-TV, on social media, and to create an archive of the event. You can always identify them by their media badges.

By registering for CONvergence, you gave consent for the convention to record your image. Depending on the situation, official CONvergence media staff may not always ask before taking a photo or video. Please be understanding as they do their jobs for the convention. If you have any concerns about CONvergence media policy, please contact the Convergence Events Board of Directors.

Treat Everyone With Respect

CONvergence is serious about providing a safe environment for all members, and we enforce our Harassment Policyvery seriously. Here are a few things to keep in mind to make sure you don’t harsh anyone’s squee.

Ask permission before you take a photo of another CONvergence member. (Not only is this polite, but it almost always results in a much better photo!)

Costumes are not consent to be hugged, touched, groped, grabbed, or sexually advanced upon. But this is also true for fancy dress, kilts, swimwear, or even just jeans and a t-shirt. It does not matter what gender a person is or what they are or aren’t wearing; harassment is harassment. If someone tells you they do not want to talk to you or do not want you to touch them, respect that and leave them alone.

A good rule of thumb is to just explicitly ask for permission before touching any person in any way. Examples include:

May I put my arm around you for a photo?”

“May I hug you?”

“May I hug you?”

Volunteers are doing a job and it is important to recognize that. If someone is volunteering, it is definitely not an appropriate time to make sexual advances or try to touch them. Just let them do their job. This goes double for elevator monitors, as they are on their own in confined spaces.

If you’re not sure which pronouns to use for a new friend at CONvergence, check for a pronoun sticker on their membership badge. If they don’t have a sticker, it’s always OK to just ask. You do this by saying, “What pronouns do you use?” It really is just that simple! If you don’t have a good opportunity to find out a person’s preferred pronouns, you’re generally safe using the gender-neutral pronoun, “they”.

Restroom policing is very uncool. People know which restroom they belong in. Trust them to do their business in the place most comfortable for them and leave it at that.

If You See Something, Say Something

Part of being a community is taking responsibility for protecting that community. We’ve all got to look out for each other, and it really is quite simple!

If you spot someone who looks like they are in distress, ask them if they would like you to contact Operations or First Advisors for them.

If you witness someone being harassed, do not stay silent. Speak up and defuse the situation. If that doesn’t help, please report the harassment.

If you witness someone breaking the rules outlined in the CONvergence Policies, try to educate them. It’s possible they are just ignorant of the policy. If that doesn’t help, contact Operations via The Bridge.

If you spot someone whose prop weapon has not yet been Peace Bonded, suggest that they head to The Bridge for “The Talk”. They get a badge ribbon for doing it!

And contacting Operations at The Bridge is easier than ever with their text number: 651.800.1.OPS (651-800-1677)

Getting From Floor to Floor

At the Hyatt, CONvergence takes over the first six floors of the hotel. To get from floor to floor, you have to know what goes where. Here is a quick overview!

There are two banks of elevators and one set of escalators. There will also be one set of stairs open to floors with convention spaces. If you are able, please use either escalators or stairs to access floors 1–5.

The Conference Elevators (two elevators near the escalators) serve convention spaces on floors 1–6.

The 6th floor can only be reached via the Conference Elevators.

When departing the 6th floor, please transfer from the Conference Elevators at the 5th floor (or as high as able). Use escalators, stairs, or hotel tower elevators to complete your journey.

The Guest Elevators (five elevators near the front desk, and in various locations on upper floors) serve guest rooms on all floors, with indirect access to convention spaces on floors 1–5

The Escalators (centrally located) serve convention spaces on floors 1-5

When boarding the escalators, please leave a gap of 1-2 steps between riders.

Cosplayers or members with long articles of clothing should take care to avoid becoming entangled in the equipment.

When exiting escalators, step off promptly, and immediately move clear of the escalator exit area. Do not stop to talk or look around. Other passengers may be behind you.

The Open Stairwell (near the escalators and conference elevators) provides access to floors 1-5

Note that other stairwells will provide egress to the ground floor but will not allow access to intermediary floors.

If your wait time for an elevator ever exceeds 15 minutes, please text CONvergence Operations at 651.800.1.OPS (651-800-1677) and indicate your floor and elevator bank. An elevator operator will be contacted to get an elevator to you as soon as possible.

Remember the 6-2-1 Rule

The 6-2-1 Rule is:

6 hours of sleep per night

2 meals per day

1 shower per day

Practice self care while at CONvergence, and try to remind your friends to do the same. Also, remember to wash your hands often to prevent the spread of con crud! If you’d like regular reminders to self-care, try following Professor Max on Twitter. He’ll be tweeting self care tips all weekend.

Wait To Post Photos of Your Badge Online

When you get your CONvergence 2019 membership‬ badge, please DO NOT post a close-up photo of it online or share a close-up photo of it with your friends until AFTER the convention is over. If you see your friends doing this, please ask them to take their badge photo(s) down until Sunday. Convention badge counterfeiting is real and this is something you can do to help prevent it at CONvergence!

Be aware of Members with Disabilities

There are many CONvergence members with both visible and invisible disabilities. Here are a few simple things you can do to help make their CONvergence 2019 as awesome as yours!

Keep paths clear. Don’t stand in the middle of a hallway or doorway. Always ask yourself, is there room for a wheelchair to get through? If not, make some. If everyone does this, it makes a big difference!

Never assume ability. Many, many disabilities are “invisible”. This means that you can’t tell a person has the disability just by looking at them. It’s a good idea to never assume a person you don’t know is able-bodied. Don’t criticize them for their elevator, escalator, or chair use; they know their limitations much better than you do!

Bathroom policing is never ok! You cannot determine a person’s disability or gender just by looking at them.

Treat mobility aids as extensions of a person’s body. Never touch a person’s wheelchair, scooter, walker, crutches, or cane without their permission.

Keep your mouth visible while you are talking. This is especially important if you are on a panel. Many hard of hearing people lip read in order to understand what is being said, and more people are hard of hearing than you might think. Keeping your mouth visible while you are talking is a huge help!

If you want more information about accessibility at CONvergence, check out the Accessibility & Inclusion page.

Sign up for the Blood Drive

In the great tradition of blood drives at science fiction conventions throughout the country, the crew of the USS Nokomis is proud to host this year’s blood drive. Please make your appointment to save up to three lives with your donation at www.redcrossblood.org or call 651-283-6736 to choose your time. You can also sign up at the bar in the USS Nokomis party room (5121) on Thursday or Friday night, or Find the USS Nokomis at a table near the escalator on the 1st floor on Thursday or Friday afternoons, or all day on Saturday.

Visit the Blood Drive page for more information.

Don’t Forget Your Fuel

Remember that 6-2-1 rule? A very important part of that is eating. ConSuite is great for snacks throughout the day, but it isn’t a replacement for a real meal.

You may want to check out the Food and Shopping page for your full selection of dining options during the convention. Some are even offering discounts!

Have Props? Make sure to have “The Talk”

If you have a prop of any kind—even a fictional weapon—please bring it to The Bridge to be peace bound. An Operations volunteer will have “The Talk” with you, and you’ll walk out with a snazzy badge ribbon! Even if your prop weapon is just plastic and foam, getting it peace bound is a great signal to everyone around you that your weapon is safe. Your prop will not be damaged in the peace binding process!

Check out the CONvergence Props policies by clicking here.

Check the CVG-TV Schedule

CVG-TV, CONvergence’s television channel streaming live online during the convention, has posted their broadcast schedule. Head over to check it out so you can plan to catch rebroadcasts of MainStage events!

Member Advocates Have Your Back

Do you need ears to listen at CONvergence? Have you found yourself overwhelmed while at the con? Or do you need to connect to a department but don’t know where to go? CONvergence Member Advocates want to help!

Member Advocates are here for CONvergence Members and Convention Committee. They can guide you in the right direction to make sure that issues, ideas, and problems are addressed by the right department or be an ear to listen and connect you to the right resources for support. If you would like to utilize Member Advocates, simply stop by the Member Advocates table next to the Accessibility & Inclusion table in the DoubleTree by Hilton Lobby or email memberadvocates@convergence-con.org. You can also request a Member Advocate any time by visiting The Bridge.

Lost & Found

Did you know CONvergence has an at-con Lost and Found? If you find something or if you lose something during CONvergence 2019, head over to The Bridge!

Have Fun!

Whatever epic destiny brought you to CONvergence 2019, be it overthrowing an oppressive galactic tyrant or simply a quest through the stars to rescue a space prince or princess, make sure that you have fun while you are here! Volunteer, get your geek on, and don’t forget to party to the max!

[captivemuses]

Lio #16

Ties in to these previous headcanon posts [ x ] [ x ]

When Lio’s Burnish powers first manifested and he had to make the drastic life change to constantly live life on the move, he adapted to it relatively well. Sure it was a rather lonely way to live and Lio quickly became dissatisfied with having to be stuck doing jobs he didn’t really like and couldn’t stay at for long anyway. Having to live in hotel rooms that basically all looked the same to him after awhile, doing dead end jobs that he never lasted at for more than two months, and not being able to have any meaningful human connection, and having to constantly be on alert with himself to keep his rapidly growing Burnish powers in check and avoid detection, it wasn’t an easy way of life for Lio.

But amongst the way Lio was dissatisfied with his life, he was dissatisfied seeing how society had gotten to a point with so poorly treating people who ended up being Burnish, and seeing how quick they always were to be arrested whether they were committing a crime or not. The more times Lio saw Burnish people being arrested just for existing, it sparked the fire inside him that wanted to try and change that somehow. He’d already uprooted his own life thanks to his own Burnish powers, so why not try and use his powers instead of having to hide them, and try to help out any Burnish people he came into contact with? Surely there had to be a better alternative than letting them rot in a prison for something they didn’t ask to have happen to them.

Mad Burnish has been in existence since the Great World Blaze, and Lio was well aware of it being an organization that didn’t just exist in one single part of the US, or even the world. They’d been labeled as a terrorist group from the start solely because of the group’s motive to liberate Burnish people and create equality for them and the threats they posed to non-Burnish people. But from where Lio stood, the oppression that the Burnish faced every single day wasn’t an excuse for everyone else in the world to try and control them, but it wasn’t justification for Mad Burnish members to kill innocent people either, non-Burnish or not. After the Great World Blaze took out half the human population, preserving human life was something the entire human race had to try and do, as well as try to maintain a semblance of peace to avoid another event of destruction decimating the human population even further.

It took Lio several months to try and figure out where he wanted to go or what he wanted to try and do since he was only one singular person. He did what research he could to find out what parts of the country had higher amounts of known Mad Burnish activity, which would as a result give him more Burnish people in one place to convene with and join their cause. All the while still continuing to live on the move and see and hear news frequently of local civilians being arrested for being a Burnish. Finally Lio had Promepolis on his radar as Guiera and Meis and other members of their Mad Burnish group had began making the city where they frequent for both messing with Freeze Force as well as rescuing the high number of Burnish people that often appeared there. 

So Lio traveled out to Promepolis and began trying to track down the Burnish who had been causing so much trouble for the city. With Meis and Guiera striking Promepolis at random, both in location and frequency, it was difficult to track any patterns of activity to figure out where they may show up next and when. For Lio it was just a matter of biding his time until he happened to be at the right place at the right time that he could follow some of the Mad Burnish members out to wherever they lived so he could converge with and join them.

Fast forward to the events of Galo-hen & Lio-hen, finally Lio had gotten lucky being in the vicinity during the latest Mad Burnish attack, and instead of following Meis and Guiera back out to the desert, Lio followed the smaller group of Mad Burnish members that left while Meis and Guiera stayed behind to rescue Thyma when her Burnish flames began after being rescued by rookie Galo. 

He wanted to follow the lackies, unsure if who appeared to be the higher ups would have another location they wanted to go to since Freeze Force hadn’t shown up at the pharmaceutical building before Meis and Guiera left the scene. He kept a distance on the mountain ledge overlooking the current Mad Burnish camp, heavily suspecting that Freeze Force wouldn’t be far behind in pursuit, and he was right. It gave Lio the opportunity to both intervene in any of those Burnish refugees being captured, but also get the attention of the guys who were recklessly terrorizing the city that Lio wanted to stop from doing it further. 

It was luck, Lio’s determination and will to reform things for the Burnish, and Meis and Guiera’s willingness to join Lio’s cause that then led to Lio being appointed leader, and things eventually leading to the events of Promare as we know it.

[talesofzero]

La Douleur Exquise - Ch. 7

AU; Chapter 7 - The Case of Yellow

Rated E for Eyy boys actually bang in this one. As per request, contains some casual Bulge/Zero. 

~4100 words

I wasn’t sure if Harlock wanted to make it obvious that he was avoiding me. But it was obvious.

He would only stay in the same room with me if everyone else was with us. Even then, he wouldn’t make eye contact, wouldn’t speak to me. I tried to think what I could have done to bring on this kind of behavior, but I’d never made much sense of Harlock or the rest of his family.

I was fine to leave Harlock to his devices. I didn’t need his approval. Didn’t need him meddling all the time. I didn’t care if he was avoiding me.

But I didn’t like being ignored for no damn reason.

“Alright, what is it?” I asked once I’d shut the office door. He’d been spending more time than usual in there in his quest to avoid me.

“What’s what?” he asked, his eye locked on his computer. I doubted there was anything to see on his monitor.

Stalking up to him, I slammed my hands down on the desk to finally draw his gaze. “You know what’s what. What happened that’s got you all moody? You’re like a little kid again. Did I do something that upset you? If I did, you’ll have to explain. I can’t read minds.”

Rather than respond, his glare matched mine. We were at our usual deadlock. Childish as I felt, I refused to let him win. He always made me like this. Always had.

The day I was introduced to him, he stared up at me with those big brown eyes, framed by unbrushed curls. Poor kid was in desperate need of a haircut. After a minute spent watching me, he pointed up between my eyes and yelled, “Your nose is real big!”

“Phantom!” Wataru scolded as my hands shot to cover my nose. “Don’t be rude!”

“It’s true?” the kid shot back.

Wataru eyed Phantom the same way my moms looked at me when I did something they didn’t like. “Excuse my brother, Warrius. He has no manners. He’s been spending too much time around my father.”

“He’s a lot younger than you,” I said as I glanced around the house. They lived downtown, and it showed. The placed seemed to be held together by yellowing wallpaper and wobbly linoleum. There were mismatched, chipped dishes stacked in the sink, much like all the different chairs at the kitchen table where we sat.

“Phantom’s thirteen years younger than me, just a few years younger than you, really.” He returned to skimming over my homework, tapping his pencil against the tabletop. “He’s my half brother, though,” he added.

I glanced between them, Wataru with his calm brown eyes and strong jaw, and Phantom with his wild hair and squishy cheeks. If not for the age gap, though, they would have looked identical. There was no sign they had different parents.

Phantom returned to scribbling crayons around some copy paper with a vengeance. His tongue stuck out to the side as he concentrated on his work. I tried to make sense of what he was drawing, but it just looked like a blob to my eyes.

“This is fine,” Wataru said with a smile as he slid the papers back to me. “I’m not sure why your moms insist on me tutoring you. You’re plenty smart, Warrius.”

I could feel my heart hammering in my throat, my cheeks burning. “Thank you,” I mumbled.

He usually came to my house to look over my work, and when he’d leave, Mom would laugh. It wasn’t her or Ma who asked for his help. It was me. He was way too old for me to have a crush on. I was just some kid to him - a high-schooler. Even back then, I knew that. I didn’t ever expect anything of it, but I would make any excuse to be around him.

After Phantom’s mom got sick, our after-school tutoring sessions moved to his house. That first day, Phantom climbed into my lap without asking and showed me his picture. “Um, it’s nice,” I said.

“Dad’s spaceship!” he said.

“Your dad has a spaceship?”

“Yes! He’s cool!”

Wataru made a noise of displeasure as he opened the fridge. “Don’t go around advertising Father,” he said. “Now do you want potatoes?”

“No! No potatoes! Macaroni!”

Wataru leaned on the fridge door as he looked back at Phantom with dull eyes. “We had macaroni yesterday.”

Phantom reached up and smacked his hand against my face. “Warr’us wants macaroni!”

“I didn’t say that,” I said as I tried to pry his hand away.

He turned around and pinned me with the angriest glare I’d ever seen from a four year-old. “Yeah-huh.”

I glared right back until Wataru startled us both with a laugh that made my face burn again. “Not a lot of people challenge Phantom like that. You can’t win. You’ll just be stuck staring at him, but I’ll give you points for trying.”

He was right. I never really won. Even now, my eyes tore from Harlock’s as he yanked open a desk drawer. I could feel him still watching me as he pulled something out and tossed it on the desk. I recognized my own handwriting, but I couldn’t recall the envelope at first. The last time I’d written any letter to Harlock was…

“My uncle dropped a stack of those off when he was here last,” Harlock said.

Ah, so it was those letters. “Hm, I wouldn’t have expected him to keep them all these years,” I said as I picked up the old, frayed paper. The top had been sliced open. I doubted Franklin was the type to read others’ mail, meaning Harlock had read through them.  “So you finally got them then?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harlock’s tone was accusing, like I’d wronged him somehow.

“What did it matter? You never got them, so it didn’t change anything. It was stupid anyhow, writing to an outlaw. Could have gotten me in so much trouble.”

As I removed the letter, I glanced up to see Harlock glowering at the wall. “I thought you hated me all that time,” he said. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“I’ve never hated you, Harlock,” I sighed.

He jolted as though I’d slapped him. Once again, he was that wide-eyed child staring at me as I unfurled the letter.

Dear Harlock,

I hope this letter finds you well and all that. See past letters for proper formalities. I’m too tired for them right now.

The last few weeks have been rough. I’ve been missing home more than ever. We lost seven men in one battle, three in another. We’ve struggled to maintain repairs while the government keeps sending us on new missions.

I don’t begrudge them for it. There aren’t enough ships. They have to send us out to meet any oncoming threats, but I haven’t gotten a proper night’s sleep in ages. We’re all starting to lose it a bit. I’ll be fine, but I really need some sleep and a good day where things aren’t on fire. I love this ship, but something is always on fire.

I’m not really cut out for my new position. It’s becoming more and more apparent that we all get promotions based on how long we’re able to stay alive out here while everyone around us dies. I wasn’t trained for the position of First Officer, so I’m always two steps behind, having to check manuals. I just hope I don’t get anyone killed because of it.

Sorry to talk so much about myself. It must get boring to hear me complain. How are you? How’s Tochiro? I hear the Deathshadow made a mess of some space wolves a while back. Some of the crew here would probably like you if you didn’t also shoot at government crafts. Seriously, stop that. We need those.

We should have a leave on Earth in two months. I’ll likely sleep through the whole thing, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ll drink some cheap wine for you while I’m there, just like old times. Take care of yourself. Don’t do anything too stupid.

Sincerely, Warrius Zero

“I remember this,” I said. “Things were awful. We were low on supplies, and I ran on coffee until I passed out at my station. I wouldn’t recommend that. You feel like death.”

“I’m sorry,” he said like the wind had been knocked out of him. “I would have written back had I known.”

I wasn’t so sure. “No need to apologize. You never got the letters, so it doesn’t matter. I’m sort of embarrassed you read them now. I did do a lot of whining.”

At least that answered one thing I’d questioned since meeting him in that infirmary. When I was on the Karyuu, I imagined he did receive everything I wrote, but I didn’t know if he read them. Why should he? In my mind, he hated me. Some letters had sentences or paragraphs scribbled out to remove my apologies over how I had let us end things.

But when I saw him in that bed, almost as pale as the bandages, he looked up at me with sorrow in his now-lone eye. “I thought you’d given up on me,” he murmured in that drugged haze.

“Believe me, I tried,” I said. “But you’re a hard man to ignore.”

His eye searched me for answers, still sharp despite the fog over it. “Why are you here now? After all this time?”

“My ship’s gone too. My family...” The Machine Men’s all-out attack had taken everything. Even if I could have brought myself to work under them, they kept insisting I get a machine body. Either that, or I had to accept the mission to capture Harlock. I accepted to keep my humanity, and because I needed to know why Harlock hadn’t protected the Earth. The answer was that he had. He’d tried to, but he never got that far.

“We’re in the same boat,” I said as I brushed a few strands of hair from his face. “I’m an enemy of the government now. And your father asked me to look after you.”

His expression darkened at the mention of his father, the same way Wataru’s used to. “If you’re just doing this for him, why avoid me for so long? I wasn’t worth looking after then? Just now that I don’t have other people to look after me for you?”

My mouth was left partially open as I stopped myself from asking about the letters. I’d never abandoned him, but then, maybe letters weren’t enough. So I said nothing, unaware he’d never received them.

We stuck together because we were all we had left. He sulked for a while, missing his ship, his friends. I couldn’t say I was any better. I didn’t spend a single day sober for months.

If I’d been sober, he wouldn’t have come up with this stupid, insane brothel idea in the first place. I woke up to a raging headache, a spotty memory, and him sitting naked in bed beside me ranting about this amazing idea he had.

I had so many regrets in my life that I could have amassed an army out of them, but that night would have been one of my generals.

Perhaps everything would have turned out differently if he’d received my letters. Likely not, but the way he looked at them made me wonder. When I handed the envelope back to him, he took it as though it might crumble in his fingers.

“Well, with that out of the way, you can quit getting all anxious around me,” I said, still not sure why he’d reacted so oddly to receiving them. “Get some rest too. You look like you could use some sleep.”

He didn’t say anything as I turned and walked out, but I took a quick glance at him as I closed the door, still holding the letter, looking even more exhausted than before.

We were both so young then. Just stupid kids, too young to be fighting wars, too young to see so much death. I wished he would forgive himself, that stupid kid he used to be. That kid didn’t deserve all the blame Harlock placed on him. Just a boy trying to fill his father’s shoes. I couldn’t blame him for that.

But I could and would blame him for this terrible brothel filled with too many kids. Even Manabu was much too young for this, but Daiba and Tadashi were hardly teenagers! And I didn’t even want to think about Monono.

As I started back toward my room, I heard chattering from down the hall. Manabu’s door was open. No one was supposed to be alone with Manabu, so I had to check, even if it was a stupid rule.

“Manabu, please stop,” I heard as I neared. The voice definitely did not belong to any of our boys. No, it sounds like… Schwanhelt. Poor man was probably doing Wataru’s bidding again.

“But I’m attractive, right?” Manabu asked.

“S-sure. I mean- I don’t know, Manabu!”

“If you didn’t know me or my dad, you’d sleep with me, right?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know you!”

“Well, that wasn’t a no.”

I turned at the doorframe to find Schwanhelt standing with his face in his hands beside the doorway. Manabu sat cross-legged on the bed. He’d undone his bowtie and the top button of his shirt. Subtlety was not this boy’s strong suit.

“Manabu, you know you’re not allowed to be alone with other men,” I said.

He flashed a grin. “Of course. Only you, Mr. Zero.”

My unamused glare only made his eyes shine. He’d been spending too much time around the other boys. They were bad influences.

“But the door was open,” he continued, “So I wasn’t really alone.”

“That’s not how it works,” I said as I grabbed Schwanhelt by the arm. “Sorry, Manabu, but...good attempt, I guess.”

That was enough to keep him from pouting as I dragged Schwanhelt away. The poor man still had a hand plastered to his face. “Ah, thanks, Warrius. I just need to...sit down somewhere for a while. If I could just…”

Schwanhelt lied about as well as most of the SDF - poorly. “Come here,” I said through a sigh, pulling him into my room. “God, you have it hard-up for that boy, don’t you?”

“I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.”

“Convincing,” I drawled. “Do you use this same method on Wataru? I’m sure he really falls for the part where you hide your eyes.”

That got him to look at me. “You can’t tell him! Oh God, I’ve done enough to hurt that family. I can’t have feelings for Manabu after everything that’s happened. I can’t.”

There was no point in treading old waters and trying to convince him what happened wasn’t his fault. He had to work that out on his own. But I wasn’t so bad a friend as to let him go so anxious and, well…

“Schwan, just sleep with me,” I said.

He froze. I could almost see the sirens spinning around in his head. “W-what, Warrius, I can’t-”

“It’ll relieve some tension,” I said. “Come on, Schwan, when’s the last time you had an orgasm?”

He blushed from his neck to his ears. Honestly, Schwanhelt was adorable. The uniform didn’t help. I was a sucker for those uniforms.

But coming right off from dealing with Manabu, he was a mess. “I-I can’t afford- I’m sorry-”

“I won’t charge you,” I said. “If you’re not up for it, it’s okay. I’ll leave, and you can hide out in here for a bit. It’s up to you.”

He stood in silence, a war behind his eyes. When he moved, it was for the door. Manabu really had his work cut out for him if he wanted to catch this one, I thought until Schwanhelt locked the door.

“Okay,” he said in a whisper.

He’d obviously never done this before. “You’ll have to be more explicit than that.”

His cheeks tinged red again. “Explicit? God, what do I need to say? Can’t we just get on with it?”

I shrugged. “That works.”

His back hit the door as I pushed up against him, locking our lips. He whimpered his contentment against me as I pressed my leg between his. Manabu had been more successful than he may have realized, and Schwan was quick to grind himself against my thigh. His hands locked onto the arm loops of my vest, pulling me in closer.

He tasted of strong coffee and desperation. His movements were all quick but strong. I let him take over the kiss, his chest heaving as he toyed with my tongue. By the time he pulled back for air, there was a line of saliva running from the corner of his mouth.

I breathed a laugh into his neck, peppering kisses up to his jaw. “Poor thing,” I said. “You have been neglecting yourself.”

“Warrius,” he groaned, now clawing at my back. “God, I need you.”

“How would you like this to go?” I asked before placing a gentle bite to his ear.

He stuttered a gasp. “I-I don’t know. Damn, don’t make me think now.”

I decided to make it easy for him. “Fast or slow?”

“Ahh, damn. F-fast. I can’t wait.”

“So impatient,” I laughed. “Do you want to go all the way, or do you just want me to suck you off?”

His hand returned to his face. “Fuck, don’t make me answer that.”

“So you want to go all the way.”

The stressed sound he made was enough of a confirmation.

“Top or bottom?”

“I-I don’t know!”

Again, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Go ahead and top this round.” Preparing him to bottom would add time, and he was suffering enough.

He whined his agreement as I pulled him back toward the bed with one hand and unbuttoned my vest with the other. By the time the back of my knees hit the bed, I had my shirt halfway undone as well. As I fell back, I pulled him down with me. He caught himself, his face flushed as he hung over me. His eyes fell to my bare chest, and he swallowed.

“You still doing okay?” I asked.

He did manage a smile then, if a shy one. “Yes, sorry. I’m not very good at this.”

“You’re doing fine,” I said as I placed my hands to his cheeks. “You will have to take something off to make this work though. Condoms are in the nightstand, of course, unless you want to fool around some more.”

“Ah, I wish I could,” he said, standing back up to take off his jacket while I finished removing my shirt. I went ahead and took off my shoes, pants, and boxers too while he fiddled with whatever weird undersuit came with those uniforms.

“Sorry-sorry,” he mumbled, as he partially tried to cover himself. His boxers really couldn’t hide anything, not that he had any reason to be so stressed. I was more exposed than he was.  

“It’s fine. I like a good show.” With him all flustered, I reached over and fished a condom out of the drawer myself, tearing it open with me teeth. “Come ‘ere,” I said around the plastic.

He leaned in as I spit the wrapper away, and I wrapped my hand around the back of his head to pull him in for another kiss. Clients didn’t kiss much, so it was more for me than him. He hummed and moaned sweetly into the kiss as it deepened. It also made him sink closer toward me, until I could yank down his boxers.

His breath hitched as I pulled from the kiss and moved to his neck. WIthout the collar of his shirt in the way, I could press soft love bites to his shoulder as I rolled the condom over his cock.

“Warrius,” he whimpered. His arms trembled as they held him up over me.

“Relax,” I breathed as I reached back over to my nightstand. “You feeling good?”

“God, yes. You’re amazing, Warrius.”

That sent a pleased shiver up my spine that made my toes curl. “Thank you. Now don’t lose yourself yet, alright?”

What started as a confused hum ended with him choking in surprise as I worked some lube over his cock. “Fuck,” he hissed. Before his arms could give out, I released him and leaned back, wiping what was left of the lube on my own half-hard cock. I was going to ask if he wanted me to turn over, but it seemed not. Grabbing my hips, he put one knee on the bed and lifted me up. I pulled one leg up to rest over his shoulder. Rare to have a client who didn’t want me face-down, but then again, he wasn’t a proper client.

Even rarer to have a client suddenly look so concerned. “A-are you prepared?” he asked.

I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. “Schwan, babe, I do this every day. As long as there’s lube, I can handle it.”

Still looking a bit nervous, he leaned in enough to kiss me somewhere between my eyelid and my nose. He must have missed wherever he’d intended to kiss me because he was too busy trying to hold himself together while pushing his cock inside me.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers pressed tight to my hips.

Unlike him, I gave in with a gasp and a sigh, grasping for the sheets. God, he was so hot inside me. It made my whole body pulse. I needed him to let go too. I needed the rush and the heat. “Schwan,” I said as I fought to keep my hips from rolling. “Please fuck me.”

He choked as he tried to suck in air, but he was quick to give me what I asked. His hips pulled back and rocked into mine as he gasped my name. Then again. Again. Always with my name.

“That’s good,” I purred as my eyes rolled back. My body writhed without my permission, but I let it for once. “More, Schwan. Harder.” My chest rose and fell with each of my gasping breaths. “Faster.”

He gave a growl as he picked up his pace, as lost as I was in the pleasure. Only years of habit kept me talking.

“So good,” I moaned, gnawing my lower lip. “So hot.” It felt so damn close to heaven to be filled like that, and so damn close to hell to be on fire from the inside out. My back arched toward him as his pace became frantic. I loved drowning in his power, feeling the bed shake just like I did.

Through half-lidded eyes, I admired his smooth shoulders and chest. His muscles strained with every snap of his hips. Damn, he looked good. He could have moonlighted at the brothel if he wanted.

His voice was ragged when he finally strung together something coherent. “Oh god, Warrius. Fuck, I’m going to come.”

“Go ahead,” I panted. Before I could wrap my hand around my cock for my own release, his hand took my place, his thumb circling the head until he had me melting with weak whimpers, my hands fisted in the sheets. “Schwanhelt, more,” I begged.

Sweet as he was, he pumped my cock as his thrusts became erratic. I felt his whole form tremble as he came, riding out his orgasm with a few shallow thrusts. Only then did I let myself fall over the edge. The writhing pleasure in my gut became pulses of ecstasy as I came across my stomach. “S-Schwan,” I said through fragmented gasps.

As the pleasure faded, my body went slack. I bathed in the feeling of exhaustion and contentment, listening to Schwanhelt catch his breath. “Fuck, Warrius,” he said as he pulled out. “That was good.”

I hummed in response. I hadn’t had two rounds in one day in a while. I only had five clients a week, so I was pretty well worn out.

“Is this the part where I leave?” he asked.

My body shook with a silent laugh. “You’re welcome to join me for a shower,” I said. My body protested as I sat up, though I’d never listened to its complaints before, and I wouldn’t now. “And thanks, Schwanhelt, that was nice.”

Even then, he blushed. “M-my pleasure.”

[bookswithmissingpages]

She gave me only about one-tenth of what she owed me in booking commissions, most of which I would spend on decent food for her kids. I didn't respect Sandy, but I did learn something from her: always keep an eye on your business. During my most successful periods, I'm often tempted to hire someone to do some of the grunt work for me, particularly answering the phones. But when I remember Sandy, I know it's better not to trust anyone with too much information about my business. Doug was a good enough guy. I didn't know him that well, but he did help me out when I needed work and I liked him. But he should have known better. Particularly when Colonel Ed showed up. Ed was an ex-military guy who introduced himself as an expert in targeted Internet mailing lists. He did this kind of work for a whole range of indus- 107 tries actually, not just escort agencies, so most of the time Colonel Ed ran a legitimate business. He was the one who found us, called us up, and asked if we were interested in expanding. Colonel Ed claimed to have a way of reaching out to a bigger client base who would be particularly interested in the services we offered. He had somehow—I'm not sure exactly how—gathered an extensive list of e-mail addresses for likely customers we could contact directly. When Sandy heard about this, you could just see the dollar signs in her eyes. She did her best to keep Colonel Ed away from Doug, and she did a pretty good job. It didn't seem to occur to her, however, to keep Colonel Ed away from me. Since I was doing most of the work booking appointments, Colonel Ed would often talk to me about business. It wasn't long before he realized that it made much more sense to leave Sandy out of things whenever possible. She was unstable and he knew it. He wasn't looking to get busted, so he preferred to deal with me. I came across as much more grounded by comparison. Basically what Ed proposed was that we send out e-mail announcements to his mailing list and then he would take a fee for every appointment we booked for guys on his list. It turned out that he actually did have something worthwhile to sell, and the business always got a boost whenever we sent out an e-mail. I learned from talking to Colonel Ed that he also had contact lists for other places, in the United States. That's what made me realize that it was finally time, past time really, to make a change. One day a request came in from a new client who wanted a girl for companionship only, no sex. He was a businessman passing through town who just didn't feel like being alone. When I saw that he'd asked specifically for an Asian girl, I jumped at the chance to take the call myself. He was offering good money for easy work, and I wanted it. The guy's name was Paul, and he had some serious mental issues, one of which was a real fear of women. He paid $2,000 to 108 have dinner with me and then go out clubbing. He even showed up with a pair of diamond earrings as a gift, as if it was a real date. I was happy to take them, even though I thought he was pretty pathetic to do something like that. I got him high as hell at the nightclub and then left his ass early that night. After that, Paul was hooked on me. I guess he liked women who treated him badly. Normally I would have brushed him off, but in this case, I saw an opportunity. He was the perfect guy to help me get back into the United States. I'd been reluctant to try to cross the border alone, because after September 11 security was tighter than ever and I stil didn't have an ID. Besides that, I was still out on bail for those moving viola- tions. I'd never shown up to court and never paid my fine. If any- one looked up my record, they were sure to catch me and send me back to jail. I hadn't wanted to take any form of public transportation back to the United States because they tended to inspect people's IDs more closely at airports and train stations. I figured I might be able to get away with just flashing a fake ID at the border guards if I was in a private car. Paul had a BMW, and he offered to drive me to Boston, which was where I wanted to end up. I decided it was worth the risk. Before I left, however, I called child services and told them that all Sandy's kids would be better off with their dads. I did it for the kids' safety. I was really sad to leave them behind. I also contacted Doug and told him what Sandy had been doing behind his back. I made that call because the bitch deserved it. My plan for getting over the border worked like a charm. Paul was a real businessman and he had a nice car, so the border guard trusted us and let us through. Once I got to Boston, however, I ditched Paul as quickly as I could. I already had other plans, and he wasn't part of them. My Boston plans revolved around a guy named Master Romeo. That was his screen name anyway. He was (and stil is) a key 109 player on the most well-known escort review Web sites out there. These review sites are independent, so people tend to trust the gen- eral consensus of opinion that emerges about a girl or an agency, the same way they do customer reviews of books on Amazon or restaurant reviews in Zagat. Beyond that, however, certain review- ers have become famous on the sites. They're unpaid, just like any other reviewer, but because of the depth of their experience and the way they turn a phrase, their reviews have attracted followings among like-minded men. Master Romeo and a select group of other reviewers have serious cachet with a whole lot of clients and potential clients of services like mine throughout the country and in Canada. They've developed reputations as "experts," and their screen names are known throughout the community of "hobbyists," as they often call themselves. Their reviews of the girls they've "dated" can even make or break careers. In fact, if I have a new girl who's not booking many appointments, I'l some- times offer her to one of these guys for free in the very real hope that a good review, which acts almost like a celebrity endorsement, might kick-start her career. Master Romeo and I had become friends in Montreal, and I made him an ally when I decided it was time to leave town. I knew that he and several other all-star reviewers were also mem- bers of an exclusive club of very wealthy Boston men. The club sponsored regular parties, and for each one they hired lots and lots of working girls to attend. They often used a big agency called Montreal Girlfriends to provide them with the talent they wanted, but when Master Romeo found out I was coming to town and looking to build up my business again, he said his friends would be happy to use all the girls I could bring him. I had a ful week's worth of bookings set up with Master Romeo's friends, and girls scheduled to come in from Montreal to fill them, al before I even made it into the country. At the end of my first week in Boston, I already had thousands of dollars in my pocket. 110 It was a great way to start over. Boston was just a temporary stopover, however. Colonel Ed had told me that he could do for me what he had done for Doug and Sandy's Montreal agency, only in an area of New Jersey that had relatively little competition. I was very interested in that idea, so I decided to look into his offer. And thanks to Master Romeo and his friends, I now had the seed money to do just that and even to start up again full force right away if I decided to.

[1ff]

The Society of Multiples, chapter 4

Second draft of my story about an alternate world where almost everybody is multiple. If you read it, you agree to leave at least two words in response. Constructive criticism welcome.

Okay- I will probably need help with upcoming chapters, because (sorry, tiny Spoiler) there is a romantic interest and I’m pretty much entirely aro/ace. Please point out when things are cheesy/unrealistic/unconvincing/etc.

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 2)

(Chapter 3)

If you want to be @ mentioned when I post a chapter, let me know. Also, if it helps, all posts will be tagged with #thesocietyofmultiples

@nevermindbinarity

Chapter 4

I stayed with Eris and Kane for a few days while my faces seemed to be on every channel and website. The three of us had made a quick and careful trip to my old apartment to pick up my things, but when we discovered the door unlocked and some of my things upturned, we quickly left empty-handed. I was pretty shaken by this- I was supposedly the hero, not the villain here. Why would anyone do that? What would they gain? Eris and Kane had no easy explanations.

On the drive home, we tried to reason through what we saw.

“Sometimes we wonder whether there is some sort of military or government interest in finding us and rounding us up,” Kane said bleakly. I keep trying to tell myself that it’s paranoia. But maybe it isn’t.”

“Or maybe it’s one of those creepy fetishists,” Eris added, rolling her eyes. “We know they exist. They come looking for us, and they claim to be allies, but you need to be very careful.”

“But nobody knows I’m singlet- how could they?”

Kane sighed. “You’re a completely unregistered system. That makes people suspicious.”

“Suspicious enough to search my apartment?”

Neither of them had an answer.

When we made it back to Eris and Kane’s apartment, we dropped our empty duffle bags on the coffee table and sat around wordlessly for a few minutes. Kane went off to the kitchen to make tea.

“It’s not a big deal really,” I said with a shrug. “The things in my apartment don’t really matter anyways. They were really Jan’s and Eron’s and Tigh’s. I can’t use any of those fakes now. I’m going to have to cut all ties to my past lives completely and start over.”

Eris caught Kane’s eye, and he nodded. “We can help. We’ve been saving some money for emergencies- not a lot, but enough that if anyone in our circle of singlets needed to get out  of a bad situation, we would use that money to help. It’s enough for some new clothes, new makeup, new apartment, that kind of thing. There’s other help we can offer, too.”

“Including introducing you to the rest of your community,” Kane added. “Tomorrow night we’re having a meeting. There’s some generous people there who would love to help out a new friend in need. We look out for each other.”

I was nervous, but also excited. I barely slept that night- not just because of the strange, uncomfortable futon in their apartment. I felt like I had gone from drifting alone in the ocean to finally hitting land. My life was suddenly full of faceless dangers, but I’d never felt more safe.

The next afternoon, Kane took me aside and set me up with hair and makeup. In order to take me outside unrecognized, some extra disguise would be necessary, and he was especially skilled. For years he’d pulled off a mix of male and female identities that were thoroughly convincing; Eris was skilled too, but Kane could create very impressive illusions that could have earned him a profession in cosmetics. He confessed he’d always been worried about drawing too much attention. As he went to town on my new appearance, we invented my first new fake identity: skin tone a few shades darker from mine, hair dark brown with a red tint. Dark brown eyes. Thin, very straight nose. I looked masculine, but with a relaxed, almost feminine beauty. It was totally unlike any look I’d ever tried before, which was the point. As the makeup went on we worked out a the basics of this identity- Jonas, age 17, calm and demure and also a bit aloof; very attractive, but with limited sexual interest.

“Good job, gentlemen” Eris said beaming, emerging from the switchroom in a plain loose shirt and ripped jeans. She’d put on some vibrant punk-rock makeup and lightened her hair with tinted hairspray, which was holding it up into an interesting wave.

I felt a knot in my stomach. “Doesn’t all of this… kind of draw attention to ourselves? I’ve always tried to look as plain as possible. I don’t want to get noticed.”

“That’s the point, though. Everybody is trying to draw attention to themselves, express themselves as strongly as possible. If you try to look too plain you stick out like a sore thumb.” She slipped on some shiny jangly bracelets. “if you look like you’re trying not to be seen, you’ll look like you’re hiding something.” She looked in the mirror. “There. Looks good, right? Sometimes this is fun. When we’re out of the house, call me “Mary.” She’s the one who dresses like this. Bit of a 80’s party girl.”

“You sound like you’re actually enjoying this,” I said in disbelief.

She shrugged. “It’s something we have to do. Since we don’t really have any choice, why not have a little fun with it?”

This week’s meeting was at the home of Nora, publically known as Tim, Dianne, Dora, and Grace. She was older, tall, and gave a first impression as stern and untrusting. At her apartment door, she looked me up and down, nodded slowly.

“You’re the new stray then,” she said, offering her hand. “What should we call you?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled with a quiet shrug, shaking her hand.

She looked me up and down discerningly. “Funny. All the new ones start off with that name. Well, come on in, then.”

Nora’s apartment looked oddly stereotypical for a grandmother in her sixties, with haphazardly-dusted tchotchkes and a box of tissues in every corner. A huge mother-in-law’s-tongue plant almost blocked the hall at one point, which I found a little humorous.

She led us into her living room, where a group of people were already sitting and waiting. There were six of them, not including Nora, Eris, Kane, and myself. It was so strange knowing that a count of heads would be a count of persons here- only ten of us altogether, and nobody hidden behind another face. Everyone here was like me. That made me feel giddy and terrified and safe and awkward- I felt like I was juggling so many strange emotions that I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Nora presented me to the group. “Folks, this is ‘I don’t know,’ some fresh blood for our little community. Please make ‘I don’t know’ feel welcome.” There were a few nervous giggles. I realized that I must invite some anxiety and fear in them; would there be people out there wanting to infiltrate a group like this? Journalists, researchers, maybe even domestic intelligence or law enforcement? We weren’t doing anything wrong, but that wouldn’t matter for a lot of people. It wouldn’t matter what we did, but who we are that would make us criminal.

“Have a seat,” Nora said, warming up to me. “Can I get you anything to drink? I have fresh tea, coffee, and a well-stocked liquor cabinet.” She ushered me to a large and comfortable chair.

“I’ll have coffee,” I said weakly, sort of falling into the chair.

“With Irish cream?”

“Huh? Oh, um- sure. A little.”

Nora winked as she went off to the kitchen.

Sitting next to me was a young woman about my age- my real age, 24. She was eyeing me suspiciously through bright green eyes that I assumed must be contacts.

“You haven’t picked a name for yourself?” She asked, with a very smooth and beautiful francophone accent.

I shook my head. “I never wanted to. It seemed sad to me that it would be only for myself. Why have a name that nobody calls you? Just so you can say it to yourself?”

She laughed. “Parfois, je me parle à moi-même. Et puis on rit tous els deux.”

“Sorry, I’m not very bilingual.”

“It means… it’s an expression. Um, basically, ‘Sometimes, I talk to myself. And then the two of us have a good laugh.’ It’s funny, being so lonely, we probably talk to ourselves more than the multiples do, even though there’s only our one self to talk to.”

I tried rolling the expression around on my tongue. “Can you say it again?” Nora was pushing a cup of coffee into my hands. “Thank you, Nora.”

“Parfois, je me parle à moi-même... Et puis on rit tous els deux.”

I took a sip of my coffee; there was more than ‘a little bit’ of Irish creme. “Moi-même?”

“My self,” she said with a smile. “Maybe that would be a good name for you. It’s better than ‘J’e sais pas.’”

“Mem,” I said, listening to the sound of it. Like memory, remember, member, meme. A name that means ‘myself,’ in the singular. “I like it.”

“Nice to meet you, Mem. My name is Emma.” We shook hands; she had a warm smile.

[holy-mountaineering]

This spread is for -ziggans-.tumblr.com who is in fact, the coolest dude.

As discussed, we’re doing the Tree of Life.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the 8 of Disks, Prudence.

This is the Sun in Virgo or centering on the most fertile options or growth in your life. Implied is a balance through pruning or cutting away the dead, dying, and less useful parts of your “plant” (or your material world of everyday things) so that it might grow better. Center your material world on some fertile possibilities of reward that are/will be present in your life and cut out the unnecessary or excess.

Dump the crap that saps your energy and imbalances your material world/everyday life situation. Focus on balancing the creating, building AND maintaining your physical world.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the Knight of Wands or the fiery part of fire.

This is acting to act, staying busy and driven, fighting the war that must be fought. 
This is the proverbial fire under your ass driving you forward.
 If you don’t feel motivated, you better do whatever is in your power to get moving because you’re going to need it real bad right now.

Stay busy, start projects. Don’t be still, there is a war to be fought!

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is, a worthy thing to organize your shit around, VIII Adjustment, Lamed, Libra.

These are the scales of balance in the higher order of things in your life. The scales are naturally balanced, but it is when we add things onto either side of the scale that it becomes tricky. To return to balance you have to remove things or add on things. Such is a balanced life.

The person who is the beam which the scales are balanced on is not blind justice, she wears a mask, not a blindfold. She carries the Sword of the Magus, which is to say she uses her reasoning powers to cut away imbalance.

You are the crux, balance your mind in higher regards. Add things or take away according to the balance it creates.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is XXI The Universe, Saturn, Tau.

The Universe is the totality of what we can sense and know. The dance of the Woman with the cosmic serpent and the Eye destroying while everything constantly recreates. We see the Universe only from our position in it. You may send out your satellites to explore unknown areas but you can only process what they might mean from your place. The more we try to take into our restrictive minds and spirits, the more we know about the whole and ourselves and our place in the Universe.

Step back and look at the connections and totality of everything you know and experience. It’s quite a view.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is Knight of Cups, the fiery part of Water or acting on feeling.

Ideally this is the drive to seek higher connections and feelings and being driven by intuition and love. Just don’t fall for illusions and false ideals. This is the love that brings you closer to connecting with everything, recognizing connection and it’s drive. This is the Arthurian tale of chasing the Holy Grail *Insert Monty Python joke here* simply to have a true connection to their god. Seek love like that.

Act on what you feel and truly intuit but only to the ends of unselfish almost worshipful Love. Do things that get you really really feeling.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is XII The Hanged (or Drowned) Man, Mem, Water.

This card represents the purifying and altering property of water. Here is the mystery of baptism, the origins of which are lost but we can infer their meaning by looking into the symbolism of rebirth. The individual who comes to the water to be baptized is a different individual when they leave the water. The element has cleansed them of their old skin and grit and grime and encouraged the growth of the new skin, so to speak.

This Trump is also the myth of the dying gods. Odin on the tree Yggdrasil, Osiris being spread to the ends of the Earth, Jesus on the cross. These gods or allegories are about intentionally putting yourself through a trial to learn of yourself and the world. Again, symbolic death and then rebirth with a new knowledge of the Universe and your place in it.

Good news is you’re going to learn how to be the new you soon, bad news is you have to kill the old you.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the 10 of Disks, Wealth.

This card is intelligence (Mercury) in fertile possibility (Virgo). This is the peak material situation, a good situation, a situation you really want to be in.

Be swift and mindful of your material task at hand and your everyday experience, it is nearing its end and you stand to profit.

Put your smarts and your communication skills in the most fertile possibilities and cash in before things start to come down from this peak opportune time.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is a friend of the show, 5 of Cups Disappointment.

Like all 5s this is the microcosmic and human part of its suit, in this case the human aspect of water, which is emotion, intuition and connectedness to life. Astrologically, this is Mars in Scorpio or emotional uncertainty making acting on your feelings difficult or at least obscured.

Everyone you’re in contact with, and everyone else is just a human with human limitations. Don’t overreach other people’s boundaries and be aware when they cross yours.

There is also a frustration emotionally that you’re “stuck in the middle” of where you started and where you’d like to be feeling. That sucks, but, hey, like, we’re all just human. Just yourself and everyone else as much slack as you can for not being where you want them to be.

Don’t focus on your or others emotional limitations. Try to recognize why you are where/who you are emotionally and keep those waters flowing. You might not be quite where you want to be emotionally and in your relationships, but you’re making progress, in your way and time.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is a friend of the show who’s hand I am NOT in a hurry to shake, XIII Death, Nun, Scorpio.

Death is the best allegory we have for real fundamental change. Death is being in the process of changing from one form to another. I see Scorpio as the murky waters, which things are not clearly seen, Death is not known to those who haven’t died. The undertow on a beach or in a river kicking up sand and silt, the deathtrap is treacherous. Death is feared for the loss of control but when most people go, they get real peaceful and accepting. Death is avoided because of the loss of the current form that you’ve grown so comfortable with. Stagnation is a real killer but Death is a great refresher.

Things might not be clear now but that’s ‘cause you’re right in the middle of some higher order change. You’ll come out the other side a new person or thing entirely.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is not at all a friend of the show but should be XVIII The Moon, Pieces, Qoph.

This is the “Sun at midnight where you stand shines on the other side of the world.” The pull of night and day eventually rising illuminating what was once dark. As opposed to the old Aeon idea of the Sun dying, this is cyclic notion of the push and pull of the day and night. The dark give the light context and vis a versa.

See the light in the dark, accept the cyclic push and pull, if you don’t like what “time of day it is” in your life I assure you it will change like the tides.

You’ve got to focus on what you have and how to improve that by DOING the shit you know needs to be done and basing your life around your own balance. You do that by looking toward the bigger picture and doing the shit that is important to you and makes you feel important. Uh, and well, if you want this big change, you have to be the one to do it. You must sacrifice your lower self to your higher self to be reborn who you’d like to be.

Back to this idea of working with your best options, really, your growth is going to grow faster if you just put your thoughts and communication towards your best options, other distractions will always be there. And, don’t base your communication and thinking around your fucking limitation, because you’ve got them. Everyone does and while it is good to know them, they’re not going to be the best motivational speaker.

Back to that CHANGE business… It’s okay to not know, it’s okay to intentionally get involved in shit you don’t know about or have people around you that you don’t really know, it’s not unsafe for you to not know. Relish in your midnight, that just might be where you find the shadows you’ve been looking in the light for…

And for fuck’s sake with the change stuff, RELISH IN YOUR MIDNIGHT THOSE SHADOWS HAVE THINGS TO TEACH YOU. And don’t fear these “deaths” they come for us all, and well, you won’t be gone long...

Ta Da!

Hit me up with any questions or clarification you might need.

Thanks again! 93 93/93

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