#melchior gabor if u let moritz leave after this spectacle of distress i'm going to have WORDS with u

[zuerhaben]

“ calm down ” (doubleheadedking)

two word starters // @doubleheadedking

“CALM DOWN!” A tremulous, panicked, and humorless laugh shakes her body as she regards her friend with bemusement. “CALM DOWN! Oh, if only I could! Look at you, so easy, so peaceful, so together! How do you do that? How do you ———” She turns away, seeking some sort of escape from the sensible, intelligent look of him, and wraps her arms about herself just to remind her body that the  C R U M B L I N G  sensation it feels is not as real as it seems.

Her throat feels thick and her heart pounds hard under too-hot skin. 

“I don’t think I know the word at all anymore — calm! What’s that? It’s lost to me. I don’t— I can’t—” Suddenly she is fighting the impulse to rush to him, to seize him in her hands and beg for his help. FIX ME, she wants to cry, and the words knock against her teeth when she presses her lips against them. HELP ME. 

… He can’t. A fearful voice comes in, and what can she do but listen? Melchior can’t save, and you can’t be saved. Moritz remembers her father’s gun.

“I must go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it, I—” She’s talking too much. She’ll never be through if she doesn’t stop herself now, and so whatever she meant to tell him is rendered to SILENCE, and she repeats simply, “I must go.”