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kketilin · 3 years ago

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Three Pieces — Chapter 1

Three different hearts, all missing a piece.

This is the story of how three different people fumble through love, all the while they try to fix and connect the pieces of their hearts.

[Chapter 1 of 5]

Collab Together with @pikashadow! Cheating and Heavy angst warning !!

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32867374/chapters/81562753

Pairing(s): Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun | Narumiya Mei x Sawamura Eijun

Tags: Angst / Angst and Hurt/Comfort / Unhealthy relationships / Cheating / Eventual Happy Ending / Introspection / Multiple Endings

SAWAMURA EIJUN

Eijun was loved.

Eijun grew up in a loving family, one that cherished him like he was the most precious gem in existence

he was surrounded by supportive friends that believed in him and helped push him to achieve greater heights

he was sociable and was often told that he was as bright as the sun, people loved him

Never had he felt lonely yet...

Eijun felt empty.

He didn't really understand the feeling either

It wasn't the empty like he didn't receive enough attention from the ones he loved

He felt a void in his heart that remained wide open no matter how much he was showered with affection and care

But it was the empty that felt like something was just missing.

A part of him felt incomplete, like it needs something more

He eventually discovered baseball after playing Pawapuro when he was hanging out at Nobu's place.

The game was very... complex, but he felt an odd feeling of satisfaction when he watched his character pitch from the mound

(He can't help but be curious, would pitching be that satisfying in real life?)

It was on his 10th birthday when his family had gifted him with a pitcher's mitt, starting his dream of making it to Koshien and become the best pitcher there is

Every single pitch he threw was just so satisfying and he felt felt a feeling of contentment after every single ball

The joy of standing on the mound gave him a feeling of fullness he never felt before

It was after the first strike he threw towards Nobu's mitt that he knew

He knew he fell in love with baseball

But...

He failed to realize, rather, he chose to ignore it...

..The still empty void in his heart remaining in his heart

A gap that not even baseball could fulfill

---

“Ne, Harucchi” Eijun asked as he took a sip from his bottle, wiping the sweat off his face during the process “What is love?”

“L-Love?! Why are you suddenly asking something like that?” The petite teen stuttered in embarrassment, his entire face tinted pink that matched his hair.

Eijun only gave a smile in response before turning back to face the field, his gaze immediately falling on a certain bespectacled catcher crouched behind the home plate wearing his trademark wide annoying grin

“Because I don’t know if this is love” he whispered underneath his breath

He’d seen it in his Shoujo mangas before

How a person’s significant other came into their life and completed the empty pieces in their hearts

How the protagonist's heart always goes doki doki whenever the other's person is around

How they felt as if their dull life became full of colors the moment their partner came

They called it love.

It was different from the love he felt for baseball

(Even he won't kiss a baseball to show affection, that's just gross)

And while he found it cheesy at first, he couldn't help but wonder

Was this love he was feeling?

He was slightly stupid (just slightly) but even he knew it wasn't normal

Ever since the day Miyuki Kazuya told him that the best pitches are works of art produced by a battery working as one

Ever since the day he called him ‘partner’

He felt complete.

His heart would always start beating like crazy whenever the catcher slung his arm around his neck

He felt like there were butterflies in his stomach every time the catcher would praise him and his pitches

He would feel his face reddening as blood rush up to it whenever the catcher teased him with that grin he found so oddly endearing

And while he thought (or he was trying to convince himself) that it was solely due to his admiration and respect for the bespectacled catcher, Eijun knew it was something more than that

Eijun loved baseball more than anything else, every single ball he pitched slowly filled up the emptiness in him

It's no exaggeration to say his world revolved around baseball and he left no room for anything else

Yet Miyuki Kazuya came and filled the empty gap he thought he had closed

Miyuki Kazuya completed baseball for him.

Was this love?

Was he in love with Miyuki Kazuya?

---

It was the night after he had just been promoted to the first string and most players have already retreated to their beds or practicing inside, leaving him and Miyuki alone in the bullpen

He windup and threw his pitch, the ball landing in Miyuki’s mitt with a satisfying smack.

The older teen stood up and threw the ball back, calling out “that was a nice ball! Last one then we’re done” with a charming boyish grin that made his heart skip a beat

He can't help but think it should be illegal to be that handsome

Eijun watched him crouch back down and he felt his face burning up

(Thank god it was dark or else Miyuki Kazuya would make fun of his red face right now)

“Miyuki-senpai” his lips opened without thinking and the words he’d been keeping hidden deep inside slipped off his lips “I think I love you—”

Ah crap— he didn't mean to—

“Alright”

Eijun blinked, caught off guard.

Did he just... accept his confession?

While he didn’t mean to confess especially when he should be focusing on training even more now that he made it the first string, he was expecting to be turned down or worse, ignored.

Never did he expect his confession to be accepted,

Or for his feelings to even be mutual for that matter

(Miyuki Kazuya never really showed any signs of interest towards him and he thought the catcher only saw him as a obnoxiously loud kouhai so can you really blame him for being surprised?)

“H-huh?”

“Let’s go out.”

Everything that happened afterwards left Eijun in a daze

Without a moment's notice the older teen was already standing in front of him and he audibly gulped when catcher had closed the distance between the two of them, invading his personal space

He felt a hand lift his chin and his breath hitched the moment he realized the catcher's lips was only a hair's breadth away

(His mind immediately registered how it looked so soft and so kissable)

Miyuki Kazuya leaned in forward and it didn't take long before he felt warm, soft lips against his own

Eijun gave up his first kiss that night

Eijun was happy.

Really happy.

He still couldn't believe Miyuki Kazuya agreed to go out with him.

And honestly?

He felt like pinching himself or slapping his cheeks, hoping this wasn't a dream.

(He actually did pinch himself one time during a game, causing his teammates to give him weird looks. But he somehow managed to laugh it off, giving them a bright smile and reassuring them he was alright. Thankfully, they didn't seem to think much of it, calling him an idiot before watching the game again.)

Even right now...

He and Miyuki Kazuya (or Miyuki-senpai as he had started calling him (much to his amusement)) sat on top of his bed, talking to each other.

They weren't doing anything but talking, but he felt so happy.

So complete.

He suddenly felt the urge to tell him how happy he was.

He looked at him, feeling his heart race as he (once again) realized how good-looking he was. And that he was his boyfriend. "Miyuki-senpa—"

"Kazuya."

He blinked a few times. "Eh?"

Why did Miyuki-senpai just say his given name?

He wasn't that stupid.

He knew his boyfriend's given name.

"Call me Kazuya, Eijun." Miyuki-senpai gave him an unreadable look.

It certainly wasn't the first time, but he couldn't help but wonder what Miyuki-senpai was thinking. It was difficult to tell a lot of the time, especially with his poker face.

But Miyuki-senpai was his boyfriend.

And he wanted him to call him by his given name.

Was it possible to feel happy, excited, and nervous at the same time?

(Even he didn't know why he felt nervous. It could be because his boyfriend was his senpai. Or maybe it was because he knew (or at least hoped) their relationship will change once he started calling him by his given name.)

For some reason, his hands felt sweaty. "A-alright K-kazuya-senpai."

"Pfft. You always say my full name, but you're having trouble saying my given name? Drop the senpai." Kazuya-senpai... Kazuya snickered, giving him an amused grin.

He wasn't sure whether to feel irritated or relieved. "R-right."

"Say it, Ei~jun~" Kazuya reached out, pulling him close, causing him to gasp once he realized only a few centimeters separated their lips. He cupped his chin, fingers rubbing his chin, causing him to almost shiver at feeling those fingers so close to his lips.

Being this close to him was so distracting.

All he wanted was to lean in and kiss him.

"K-Kazuya..." He somehow managed not to look at those tempting lips, meeting Kazuya's eyes instead.

(Would Kazuya even let him if he gave in to the temptation?)

Kazuya gave him a smug grin. "Louder~ I can't hear you."

It was obvious Kazuya was enjoying this.

... If he were honest, though, a part of him was enjoying it, too.

(Not the teasing part. But he was definitely enjoying getting to call him by his given name.)

And he didn't know why.

Maybe it was because of the teasing.

Or maybe it was because Kazuya wanted him to say his given name louder.

But he found himself saying his name much louder than he had intended to. "KAZUYA!"

"Eijun-kun! it's time for lunch!" Haruichi walked in to their classroom with Furuya and Toujo in tow.

Eijun put his hands together and bowed down apologetically "Harucchi! Gomen! I'm eating with Kazuya today!"

As much as he wanted to eat lunch with his best friend, he had already promised to eat with Kazuya

And of course his boyfriend took priority.

He liked Harucchi, the pink haired batter had always supported him since the beginning,

But Harucchi can't give him the same kind of joy Kazuya can,

He can't make him feel so complete,

So full,

It was something only his boyfriend could do.

"Kazuya? You mean Miyuki-senpai?"

"Since when were you on a first-name basis with Miyuki-senpai, Bakamura?"

Oh. right.

They haven't told anyone about their relationship yet,

Both of them have agreed on keeping quiet for now,

Kazuya was the starting catcher for the team after all.

(It was really hard to hold back from yelling to the team during breakfast the day after his confession that they were dating though, he had to pinch his arms in order to not say anything causing him to receive concerned looks from Haruichi and Furuya but he just laughed it off saying he was just still sleepy)

"I-I uhhh..." he managed to stutter out.

Eijun wasn't exactly the best with keeping secrets,

(It's really a surprised no one still found out they were dating after all this time)

And he didn't really like to keep them.

Especially from Harucchi of all people.

But he can't betray Kazuya's trust on him..

The thought of Kazuya being upset at him made his heart clench.

He loves Kazuya far too much and he doesn't think he'll be able to handle it.

Should he just lie instead?

Lie to Harucchi and his friends?

That doesn't seem to sit right with Eijun either.

"Eijun!" a familiar voice called out, interrupting Eijun's thoughts

A voice that made his chest feel warm,

He turned to see Kazuya waiting for him out in the hall.

His heart immediately skips a beat.

"Ah! Hold on!" Eijun called back, a felt his lips curl into a soft smile reserved only for his boyfriend.

He turned back to his friends and put his hands together again, repeating his actions from earlier "Sorry guys, I have to go"

Eijun was so happy.

Sure, he didn't like having to hide his relationship with Kazuya from his teammates, especially his friends like Harucchi.

(And he understood why they had to hide it, of course.)

But other than that, he felt so happy with how his relationship with Kazuya was going.

"What are you thinking about?"

Eijun blinked a few times, Kazuya's voice bringing him out of his thoughts, causing him to look over at him.

To his surprise, Kazuya was... a lot closer than he had been before, causing him to flush.

They weren't doing anything besides cuddling in his bed, but with the covers over them and how close they were...

Someone could easily get the wrong idea (or the right idea).

Remembering belatedly that Kazuya had asked him something, he furrowed his eyebrows. "Sorry. I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

"Oh, really?" Kazuya drawled, causing him to blink at the almost... dark look in his eyes.

(It was probably just his imagination, right?)

Before he could even think of responding to that, though, Kazuya moved on top of him, hovering above him, causing him to gasp despite himself.

"And what were you thinking about when I'm here with you?" Kazuya narrowed his eyes.

Eijun almost gulped.

Somehow, he had made him... angry?

Eijun felt tempted to touch Kazuya, but he didn't know if he would let him, especially if Kazuya was angry with him. "I... I was thinking about you, Kazuya."

Kazuya blinked a few times, his familiar (but also irritatingly good-looking) smirk returning to his face, almost causing him to breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh? And what about me?"

"I was..." Eijun took a deep breath before reaching out and touching Kazuya's cheek with one hand. "I was thinking about how happy I am with you. You make me so happy, Kazuya."

To his relief (and delight), Kazuya allowed his touch. He even seemed to... enjoy it, briefly touching his hand and leaning into it. "You're so sappy," he teased.

Eijun flushed, shooting him a dirty look when he snickered. "Shut up. It's the truth."

Kazuya snickered one more time before looking at him with almost... soft eyes, taking his breath away. "I'm happy to hear that. Really, Eijun."

Eijun wasn't imagining things, right?

Was that almost... soft look just for him?

He tried to keep his attention on Kazuya's eyes, not wanting to look away from those almost soft eyes.

(Really, he did.)

But Kazuya being this close to him was so distracting.

His eyes had a mind of their own, looking at Kazuya's lips.

He cleared his throat, looking up at Kazuya's eyes again. But from the knowing smirk on his face, he knew Kazuya had noticed his reaction. "Kazuya, I..."

"I know."

He blinked a few times. "Eh?"

"I know." Kazuya gave him a grin before leaning in and kissing him, causing his eyes to widen.

Did Kazuya know him that well?

Deciding to think about it later, Eijun wrapped his arms around him, responding eagerly to the kiss.

Kazuya grinned into the kiss, obviously finding his reaction funny, almost causing him to huff.

But any thoughts of huffing or Kazuya finding his reaction funny disappeared at Kazuya licking his lower lip, causing him to let out a surprised sound despite himself.

When Kazuya did it again, he parted his lips, allowing his tongue inside his mouth.

Kazuya's tongue darted forward into his mouth, exploring it for a couple of moments before touching his tongue, causing him to moan.

Kazuya obviously liked his reaction, as he touched his tongue again, tightening his grip around him when he moaned louder.

Someone could walk in at any moment and find them kissing.

But Eijun didn't care.

He didn't want Kazuya to stop kissing him.

All he could concentrate on were his soft lips and the warm body above his own.

And of course, the feeling of being so complete.

He enjoyed it so much that when Kazuya pulled away a few moments later, he pulled him back in, almost grinning at Kazuya's surprised sound as their lips met again.

He tightened his grip around him, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip.

Much to his disappointment, Kazuya didn't let him in, causing him to whine.

Eijun whined again, licking his lower lip again, belatedly registering a familiar sound.

Not that the sound was as important as kissing Kazuya.

And he probably would've ignored it and continued kissing him.

If it weren't for a familiar voice.

"What the hell?"

They froze, Kazuya quickly pulling away and looking in the direction where the voice came from.

To Eijun's horror, Kuramochi-senpai stood next to his bed, his eyes narrowed.

"K-Kuramochi-senpai, this is..."

Kazuya grinned at Kuramochi-senpai, not looking worried. Or maybe his poker face was hiding it? "Kuramochi, I didn't hear you come in. I was too busy giving Eijun here attention." He leaned in, kissing Eijun's cheek while keeping his eyes on Kuramochi, causing Eijun's cheeks to flush. "He missed me a lot today."

Kuramochi-senpai clicked his tongue, looking irritated. "Seriously, Miyuki? You were kissing him while the door was unlocked? What if someone else had come in?"

"But that's what makes it fun." Kazuya's grin widened. He laughed as Kuramochi-senpai glowered at him. "You're right, of course. We'll do better next time." He looked at Eijun, a teasing grin on his face. "Won't we, Eijun?"

Eijun's cheeks turned pinker. "N-Next time?"

Was Kazuya not worried at all about Kuramochi-senpai finding out about them?

Kuramochi-senpai huffed, still glowering at Kazuya. "There won't be a next time if I have any say about it."

Kazuya laughed again, kissing Eijun's cheek one more time before moving off him and out of bed. "So scary. I didn't know you cared this much," he teased.

"Shut up!"

Kazuya shook his head, looking amused before looking at Eijun. "Well, since Kuramochi's back, I'll get going. Good night." He winked at Eijun and at Kuramochi-senpai, causing Kuramochi-senpai to click his tongue again.

And then, Kazuya left, closing the door behind him with one last wink.

Eijun sat up on his bed, looking nervously at Kuramochi-senpai.

What was he supposed to do now?

"Are you sure about this?"

Eijun blinked a few times. "Eh?"

To his surprise, Kuramochi-senpai... didn't look angry with him.

"Are you sure about this relationship with Miyuki, Sawamura?" Kuramochi-senpai gave him a serious look.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you mean because he's the main catcher?"

Kuramochi-senpai rolled his eyes. "That's not what I mean. I just..." He huffed. "You know as well as I do what kind of person Miyuki can be. I just want to make sure you've thought this through."

... Not only was Kuramochi-senpai not angry with him, but he... was also looking out for him?

Was something wrong with him?

But even if something wasn't wrong with him, he...

Eijun felt warmth in his chest at the thought of Kuramochi-senpai looking out for him. "I'm sure, Kuramochi-senpai." He gave him a bright smile. "I love Kazuya, and I'm willing to do anything for him."

Kuramochi-senpai stared at him, as if he were trying to see how serious he was.

He hoped Kuramochi-senpai could tell he was serious about this.

Serious about Kazuya.

"I see. Then that's alright."

Eijun blinked a few times before beaming. "Eh? It is? You're... alright with us being together?"

"I wouldn't say I'm entirely pleased you two are together." Kuramochi-senpai huffed before sighing. "But you seem serious about this." He clicked his tongue. "About him."

Eijun nodded, feeling relieved. "I am! Thank you very much, Kuramochi-senpai!"

"But..." Kuramochi-senpai glowered at him, causing him to almost gulp. "Don't do anything on my bed. Or you and Miyuki will regret it."

He nodded a few times. "We won't, senpai, I promise!"

Kuramochi-senpai huffed again before turning around and walking to his desk, causing him to breathe a sigh of relief.

Kuramochi-senpai was so scary sometimes.

But he felt relieved Kuramochi-senpai realized how serious he was about Kazuya and their relationship.

(Did that mean Kuramochi-senpai wouldn't tell anyone about their relationship?)

He furrowed his eyebrows.

What did Kuramochi-senpai mean when he wanted to know if he had thought this relationship with Kazuya through?

Well, he supposed Kuramochi-senpai had a point, especially if he remembered how love could affect people in his shoujo manga.

But he would be alright.

He loved Kazuya.

And he was willing to do anything for him.

As long as it meant they were still together.

He's been dating Kazuya for several weeks now and every moment of it was pure bliss

He was in euphoria and was savoring the feeling of completeness

The fullness Kazuya makes him feel

But it somehow felt wrong.

He didn't know when it started to feel this way

Eijun gave and gave everything and anything to Kazuya but Kazuya never gave anything in return

No.. Kazuya did give back, but it always felt like it wasn't for him

It felt like Kazuya's heart belonged to someone else

Even when he was settled on his bed with his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around his waist as he gets peppered with light kisses, it just felt so wrong

So different

It felt like it was meant for someone else

Someone who wasn’t him.

Of course, he just shrugged it off

After all, he was Kazuya's boyfriend

He was the one who Kazuya was dating

Kazuya did accept his confession that night

(It felt like a dream and even now Eijun still can't believe his accidental confession was accepted)

Thinking about that night made Eijun's blood rush to his face

“Kazuya,” Eijun turned his face to look at the catcher

“Hm?”

“I love you”

“...Yeah, thanks” Was all the catcher replied before returning his lips to his neck

Come to think of it... Kazuya has never told him he likes him in return, has he?

Even when he confessed, Kazuya never said he liked him back did he?

Does Kazuya really feel the same way?

Of course he does,

They were dating after all.

Kazuya does love him

His boyfriend just needs... time before he could be honest

Kazuya was a very private person after all

He's just being ridiculously insecure

...Right?

---

From: Kazuya💕✨

Subject: I can't make it

Sorry Eijun, something came up again and I can't make it. I'll make it up to you next time

Eijun reread the message displayed on his phone screen again and sighed for the nth time in a row.

Kazuya couldn't make it to their date, again.

It was already the third time he had seen the exact same mail from his boyfriend,

And it's always "something came up" so he can't make it.

Which was weird, really weird, considering how much of a planner Kazuya is.

What could possibly happen for him to lay off his plans?

Their plans?

Not that he was doubting Kazuya, of course.

Maybe a team member really just needed his help, or starting catcher duties,

Or it might even be family matters.

But he'd been really looking forward to this date with Kazuya.

While they do see each other on a daily basis in practice, lately Eijun could feel like there was... something in between them,

Something he can't quite put a finger on.

(Their relationship hasn't changed at all though, Eijun knew he was just probably being uselessly paranoid)

So, he had hoped this date would clear whatever was between them, or, at least, rid of his unfounded insecurities.

But it looks like that wasn't possible now.

Unconsciously, he let out another sigh.

"Seriously, can you stop sighing already?" A voice he barely registered familiar grumbled from his side.

Eijun turned his head and his eyes immediately widened at seeing familiar platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes staring right back at him.

"N-NARUMYA MEI!" He pointed a finger at the said ace pitcher as his jaw dropped, stuttering in surprised.

"You're that brat from Seidou, and it's Narumiya-senpai to you." He paused for a moment and looked at Eijun as if he were... studying him?

Narumiya was studying him? Why?

"So? What are you doing here?" The blonde gave him an awfully familiar unreadable look "Waiting for a date?"

"No, I'm just about to lea— why the hell do you even care?!?"

Seriously, what was with this guy? Prying into someone else's business like that...

And technically he was about to leave, seeing his date couldn't make it

He turned away, about to leave when Narumiya opened his lips again, about to speak

"Hmm” He hummed and placed a finger on his chin as if trying to assess the situation “Kazuya bailed on your date, didn’t he?"

Eijun whipped his head towards the blonde and immediately tried to defend his boyfriend by reflex "Something just came up! He didn't bail on anything!"

How did Narumiya even know it was Kazuya he was waiting for?

Even his own teammates (save for Kuramochi-senpai) and friends didn't even know

So how did an outsider of all people know—

"So It is Kazuya you were waiting for!"

For a split second he thought saw Narumiya scowl at him before it was quickly replaced by a triumphant smirk

Was he seeing things...?

He scanned the blonde’s face again, seeing no signs of a scowl on the latter’s face

He was sure he saw Narumiya scowl

Why would he though?

(He was sure he didn’t say anything rude or unusual (not that he was planning to though, he’s just aware he has a history of doing so) to receive such a thing)

Eijun decided to shrug it off, thinking it was just his eyes playing tricks on him and returned his attention back to what Narumiya was saying

“You guys are dating, aren’t you?”

“N-No! I mean—” He immediately tried to defend again

Wait— Narumiya didn't know?

But he just said—

Oh.

The blonde had tricked him into admitting it.

He can’t believe he fell for that and gave it away

Mentally scolding himself, he tried to come up with some sort of excuse but the blonde waved a finger, eyes glinting mischievously “No use making excuses, You're a terrible liar.”

Eijun reluctantly nodded with a sigh to which Narumiya grinned triumphantly, eyeing him once again

“You’re free now though, right?”

“Huh? Well yeah I guess... wait why are you even—”

Eijun raised a brow at the question

Why was he asking?

It’s none of his business anyways whether or not he was free

“Let’s go on a date then! ♡” the blonde grinned

He looked at Narumiya in disbelief “Excuse me?”

Was he... serious?

A date?

With him, an enemy?

Even after he just found out he was dating Kazuya?

What was this guy thinking?

“I said, let’s go on a date right now” Narumiya repeated, pronouncing each syllable slowly “If you still didn't understand that then there must be something wrong with your ears”

No, he heard that, alright.

(His ears are perfectly fine, thank you very much.)

But a date?

He remained staring at the blonde agape

He suddenly felt his arm getting tugged and looked down to see Narumiya's arm curled around his, trying to pull him

“Well, you’re paying for your own food though!”

“Haah?! I didn’t even say yes—”

“Kidding! C’mon I’ll pay for your food!”

The blonde suddenly pulled him with so much force that Eijun nearly lost balance and fall but Narumiya proceeded to tug on his arm and pull him wherever

“Hold on!”

Despite his protests the blonde didn’t listen but weirdly enough, he found himself letting Narumiya drag him around

Well, a single ‘date’ wouldn’t hurt, would it?

There's nothing between them anyways,

Just a friendly date

---

Eijun didn't know how he got into these situations.

... Okay, so he knew a little bit.

As he wouldn't be out here in the first place if Kazuya didn't promise to go out on a date with him.

But Kazuya texted him, letting him know he couldn't make it.

And that something came up.

(That had been happening a lot lately.)

But hanging out with Narumiya Mei (of all people) just because Kazuya couldn't make it?

Narumiya was the enemy.

Was he that starved for attention?

(He didn't think he was, but he was hanging out with him. And if he were honest, the last time they had a... 'date', it wasn't that unpleasant.)

They were at the same café Narumiya had taken him to for their last 'date'.

It seemed Narumiya was a regular here.

Narumiya had joked it was a perfect spot for dates, and he had even winked at him.

Which he didn't understand.

Was Narumiya saying he should take Kazuya here?

Or was he saying something else?

(And why did he wink at him? Was something wrong with him?)

"What do you like about Kazuya, Ei-chan?"

Eijun almost choked on his drink, although he wasn't sure if it was because of the question about Kazuya or the nickname. "Eh?"

Narumiya gave him an amused look. "What do you like about Kazuya?"

"No... I heard that." Eijun furrowed his eyebrows, causing Narumiya to raise an eyebrow. "Why are you calling me 'Ei-chan'?"

Narumiya grinned cheekily at him. "It's a cute nickname, isn't it?"

"That's not the point! We're not that close!"

Narumiya sipped his drink. "It's just a nickname." He smirked. "Unless you'd rather me call you 'Eijun'? Does Kazuya do that?"

Eijun huffed. "Fine, whatever! You can keep calling me 'Ei-chan'! It's a nickname I'm used to anyway!"

"I'm happy to hear that, Ei-chan. It's really the perfect nickname for a cute guy like you." Narumiya winked at him.

(Again with the winking. Seriously, was something wrong with him?)

Eijun resisted the urge to huff again. "Why are you asking me about my relationship with Kazuya?"

Narumiya gave him an unreadable look, causing him to stare as it resembled the one Kazuya gave him sometimes. "I'm just curious." He shrugged, sipping his drink again. "You must really like him to put up with his treatment of you. That or you're just stupid."

"What did you say? Don't call me stupid!"

Narumiya gave him a scrutinizing look. "Do you really like Kazuya that much? He didn't even show up to you guys' date."

He wasn't sure why, but he almost gulped at the way Narumiya looked at him, as if Narumiya was trying to figure out all his secrets. "I... I told you! Something came up! Who are you to judge my relationship—"

"I'm not judging you or your relationship with Kazuya." Narumiya rolled his eyes at his huff. "And I am older than you. You should treat me with more respect."

Narumiya was so annoying sometimes.

And yet, sometimes, he reminded him of Kazuya.

Eijun didn't know what it was exactly.

But both enjoyed teasing him.

And both had amazing poker faces at times.

And while Kazuya had stopped annoying him about showing him respect ever since they started dating (at least in private), the way Narumiya tried to get him to show him respect was just like what Kazuya used to do.

Eijun scowled, tempted to cross his arms in front of his chest. "My relationship with Kazuya has nothing to do with you! I'm happy with him!"

"You are, huh?" Narumiya's eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you stay with him when you could be with someone who will treat you better?" He winked again, gesturing to himself.

Why did Narumiya gesture toward himself?

It wasn't as if he were ignoring him.

Narumiya didn't need to tell him to look at him while they were talking.

This guy was so weird sometimes.

Eijun's scowl remained on his face. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, really?" Narumiya drawled, leaning in closer and raising an eyebrow, causing him to stare as he remembered multiple times when Kazuya had done the same exact thing. "Try me."

Eijun tried to speak.

(Really, he did.)

But for some reason, he found it difficult to speak with those dark blue eyes watching him, an almost dangerous gleam in them.

He cleared his throat, tempted to look away. "I..." He looked down at his cup, his eyes softening, missing the way those dark blue eyes seemed to darken even more. "I love him." He looked up at him, smiling softly. "Kazuya may have let me down a lot, but I know something important must have come up."

"And you're going to forgive him? Just like that?" Narumiya scoffed.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Kazuya can't help it if something important came up. He's busy."

Narumiya clicked his tongue. "Busy enough not to meet up with you? You're his boyfriend!"

... It hurt.

Narumiya's words hurt him.

Not because Narumiya was insulting Kazuya, although that was part of the reason.

But because... it was the truth.

What could be more important than one of their dates?

And yet, Kazuya was the main catcher.

Or maybe something happened with his family?

"I don't like it either. But I can't be selfish if he's busy." Eijun smiled softly again, causing Narumiya to make a face. "I'm willing to do anything for him. I love him."

Narumiya pursed his lips, scowling for some reason. "He really doesn't deserve you." When Eijun glared at him, he grinned cheekily, gesturing toward himself. "I could probably treat you better than Kazuya ever could."

Eijun blinked a few times. "But I'm not dating you. I'm dating Kazuya."

Why would Narumiya even say something like that?

Sure, Kazuya wasn't the best boyfriend.

But he still loved him.

They were making their relationship work.

And he... was happy.

Narumiya pouted for some reason before giving him another cheeky grin. "Maybe I should give you my number in case this kind of thing happens again."

"It won't. And I wouldn't call you even if you did give me your number." Eijun huffed.

Narumiya's grin remained on his face. "You know you want to see me again, Ei-chan." He puffed his chest out. "Especially someone as handsome as me."

Eijun furrowed his eyebrows. "What does that have to do with anything? You're still the enemy."

"But we can become friends." Narumiya leaned closer, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Or more."

Eijun snorted, picking up his drink. "You becoming one of my best friends? Like that will ever happen."

Narumiya leaned back in his seat, pouting.

He could've sworn he had seen a frustrated look on his face at one point.

But that was probably just his imagination.

He didn't know Narumiya that well.

And why would Narumiya feel frustrated?

It made no sense.

---

Eijun tried not to think about any negative thoughts when he was with Kazuya.

He was enjoying his relationship with him so much.

He didn't want to let those thoughts overshadow his relationship with him.

The only thing he wanted was to enjoy his current relationship with him.

He wasn't good when it came to thinking deeply about something anyway.

So what if Kazuya hadn't told him his feelings for him yet?

So what if it felt wrong somehow?

He loved Kazuya, and he was willing to wait for him.

Kazuya was still dating him after all.

He could be patient.

And maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted... more with Kazuya.

So he leaned in, kissing Kazuya on the lips, Kazuya responding a moment later.

He kissed him with his lips for a few moments before licking his lower lip, almost grinning when Kazuya parted his lips.

His tongue darted into his mouth, Kazuya moaning and tightening his grip around him when their tongues touched.

They pulled away several moments later, breathing heavily.

Not wanting to stop, Eijun pulled him back in, letting out a pleased sound as Kazuya pulled him closer.

This time, Kazuya's tongue darted into his mouth, Eijun moaning and tightening his grip around him when their tongues touched.

Eijun pulled away a few moments later, peppering Kazuya's face with kisses, causing Kazuya to laugh.

"I want to see you." Kazuya tugged on the bottom of his shirt, as if letting him know what he was trying to say.

Eijun flushed, but he pulled away, taking his shirt off, not missing the way Kazuya's eyes lit up.

Was that reaction really for him?

He mentally shook his head, pushing that thought away.

Of course it was for him.

What was he thinking?

Kazuya didn't touch him again, studying his bare chest and stomach, as if he had never seen it before.

It wasn't... bad.

The way Kazuya was staring at him.

(Maybe even liking what he saw?)

Kazuya wrapped his arms around his waist again, his warm fingers touching his bare skin almost making him gasp.

"You look good. Really good."

Before he could reply, Kazuya leaned in, kissing his neck, causing him to gasp despite himself.

He moaned as Kazuya started placing kisses up and down his neck, Kazuya's laugh against his skin making goosebumps form.

He gasped again as Kazuya touched his nipples, moaning when Kazuya started pinching it. "Kazuya!"

"Does that feel good?" Kazuya pulled away, his eyes darkened with lust.

Eijun didn't want to admit that it did feel good.

And that he didn't want Kazuya to stop.

So instead of admitting it, he leaned in, kissing him, almost grinning when Kazuya responded eagerly to it.

Eijun pulled away a few moments later, grinning at Kazuya's protesting sound before leaning back in, giving him such a long and hard kiss that it made Kazuya moan.

This time, Kazuya pulled away a few moments later, letting go of him to take his shirt off.

It certainly wasn't his first time seeing Kazuya shirtless.

But usually, other people were around.

And they were usually bathing or changing clothes.

Having a shirtless Kazuya this close to him in his room without any other people around...

It made him want more.

Eijun leaned in, kissing his neck, causing Kazuya to hum and tilt his head, giving him better access.

He grinned against his neck, loving how Kazuya was letting him do this, placing kisses up and down his neck.

Kazuya moaned when he touched his nipples, tightening his grip around him.

Eijun pinched his nipples, starting to place gentle kisses up and down his chest, gasping when Kazuya pulled him on top of him.

He pulled away enough to look him in the eyes, grinning devilishly. "Does that feel good, Kazuya?" Keeping his eyes on him, he leaned back in, nipping his ear, causing Kazuya to cry out.

"Hiro!"

Eijun froze, feeling Kazuya tense under him, causing him to pull away and look at him.

He looked at Kazuya for an explanation, but Kazuya wasn't looking at him. "'Hiro'? Who's that?"

Because he wasn't that stupid.

He knew this 'Hiro-san' had to be a person.

Why did Kazuya call their name out?

(Instead of his.)

Kazuya finally looked back at him several moments later, giving him an almost... apologetic look. "I didn't mean to..."

Kazuya was dating him.

He should be calling out his name.

Not this 'Hiro-san'.

Eijun remembered what he had been thinking about earlier.

How he had felt like Kazuya's touches were for someone else.

How... it had felt wrong.

"Kazuya, who's that?" His heart raced as he waited for Kazuya's answer.

What was he supposed to do if Kazuya told him he was going to break up with him for this 'Hiro-san'?

He didn't want that!

This feeling of being complete...

It would go away if Kazuya broke up with him.

Kazuya's almost apologetic look disappeared, leaving a cool one in its place. "That's none of your business."

Eijun almost winced at his cool look.

Maybe he shouldn't have asked?

But he didn't care about that.

He wanted to make sure Kazuya wouldn't break up with him.

That came first.

"Then I don't have to know."

Kazuya blinked a few times, clearly not expecting that. "What do you...?"

"You can think of me as this 'Hiro-san'." Eijun tried to smile at him, hoping Kazuya couldn't tell how scared he was.

But instead of looking reassured, Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows. "But you..."

Eijun smiled, and this time it was more genuine. "I really don't mind. You can think of me as your 'Hiro-san'."

Kazuya gave him an unreadable look. "Are you sure? Because we can end this—"

"No!"

Kazuya winced at his loud voice, furrowing his eyebrows again. "No?"

"We don't have to break up." Eijun tried not to sound scared or desperate. "It's alright with me. As long as..." He took a deep breath. "As long as I'm yours."

Kazuya gave him another unreadable look. "And you're alright with this?" he asked slowly.

Eijun nodded a few times. "I'm happy with our current relationship. So you can..." He tried to smile again. "You can think of me as your 'Hiro-san'."

"I see. Then if you're alright with it, I guess we don't have to break up."

Eijun almost breathed a sigh of relief.

They weren't going to break up.

Kazuya would still be his.

He'll still be able to feel complete.

Sure, he wanted Kazuya to look at him and only him.

But he couldn't force Kazuya to return his feelings.

(Especially when Kazuya was thinking of someone else.)

And he was still dating Kazuya.

As long as Kazuya was his, that was enough.

That was enough for him.

Because he didn't want to think about Kazuya leaving him and having to feel so incomplete.

---

It was wrong.

Eijun knew it was all so wrong.

Agreeing to let his boyfriend think of him as someone else,

As this “Hiro-san’, and not as him, Sawamura Eijun, his lover

It was wrong.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this; He was Kazuya’s boyfriend, his lover, his partner.

He wanted Kazuya to look only at him,

To think only about him

But the moment he heard Kazuya call out someone else’s name, he felt his entire world get shaken up

All this time... Kazuya had loved someone else

Someone who isn’t him.

Kazuya’s heart didn’t belong to him

It was never his.

Why did Kazuya even accept his confession? Agree to go out with him?

Did Kazuya ever truly... like him?

Was this why not once he had told Eijun those three words he’d been dying to hear?

What about the times when he teased Eijun with those tempting lips?

Those soft, loving looks he would give Eijun from time to time?

The times he told Eijun he was really glad to hear Eijun admit he made him happy?

Was all of those a lie...?

(Deep inside he had hoped those were truly for him and him only even when he knew it was all for someone else)

Maybe this was why he had been feeling there was something different between their relationship,

Why he had felt that all those kisses were not for him

Because it really wasn’t,

It was all for this ‘Hiro-san’ Kazuya had called out.

It was wrong but...

The feeling of completeness...

He didn’t want to lose it; he didn’t want it to go away.

And he loved Kazuya,

He was willing to do anything and everything just for him.

Even when his boyfriend breathily whispered “Hiro” in between their kisses,

Even when he would watch how his boyfriend closed his eyes as he kissed down his neck, softly moaning “Hiro” over and over again,

It was fine,

Eijun was just fine.

(Sure, he spent several sleepless nights at first but he eventually got over it and learned to accept reality)

They were still dating, and the feeling of being so complete was still there,

Kazuya was still his,

And that was enough for him

He suddenly felt warm lips against his own, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He immediately responded to the kiss yet all his doubts were still lingering at the back of his mind.

“What’s got you distracted?” Kazuya breathed out once their lips separated

Eijun shook his head in response “It’s nothing, sorry.”

Eijun didn’t want to lie to Kazuya,

But he can’t tell him either that he was thinking about how wrong it all is,

How unfair it feels.

But he was the one who suggested it in the first place, he had no right to complain.

Kazuya stared at him for what felt like hours and Eijun thought he’d try to get him tell the truth, which, thankfully, he didn’t and proceeded to connect their lips together once again

The catcher licked his bottom lip, asking for access which Eijun granted. He felt Kazuya’s tongue explore the inside of his mouth for a while before it touched his own, making him moan.

Their tongues danced with other and while Eijun would normally give in to pleasure,

He couldn’t.

Not when thoughts of how Kazuya called out someone else’s name instead of his flooded his mind

Was this how ‘Hiro-san’ would kiss him?

Was this how ‘Hiro-san’ would act?

Was he doing it right?

Being ‘Hiro-san’ for Kazuya...

Was he doing it all right?

---

From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Let’s go on another date!

Are you free tomorrow, Ei-chan? Let’s go on another date if you are! ♡

To: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Sure

Sure, it’s our off day tomorrow. What time?

From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Are you serious?

Eh? Wait really?

To: Narumiya Mei

Subject: None

Do you want to go or not?

From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Let’s go!

I do I do!!! I was just surprised you agreed so easily. 10:30 at the bus stop near Seidou.

He didn’t know what he was thinking when he found himself agreeing when Narumiya had asked if they could go on another one of their ‘dates’ again

Narumiya was their enemy

And he really shouldn’t be hanging out with him especially right before the start of the summer tournament

(If Kazuya had showed up to their dates in the first place, he wouldn’t have been dragged into 'dates’ by the blonde more than twice and wouldn’t have even exchanged contacts with the ace pitcher)

But even so... if he was being honest, hanging out with Narumiya had been fun

And really, it served as a good distraction, especially with all that’s going on with Kazuya...

Sure, he was too arrogant and haughty,

He kept asking Eijun about his relationship with Kazuya which he found irritating,

He'd often gesture to himself and try to touch him, or his hand at least, which was really weird,

(And there was all that random winking. Seriously, were his eyelids alright ?)

And there were moments where he’d remind Eijun of Kazuya,

But after spending a bit more time with him ever since their first ‘date’

He found Narumiya... slightly likable, just slightly.

There would be moments were Narumiya was actually... sweet

Caring even.

Which, weirded him out every time,

He never expected that the Narumiya Mei had such a soft side to him, especially with how much he declares himself as the king.

“Ei-chan!”

He turned to see Narumiya making his way to him. The blonde was wearing a black top over a black and red gingham shirt paired with ripped denim jeans and maroon red sneakers.

"Sorry, were you waiting long?" He panted, trying to catch his breath after rushing all the way to him

Did Narumiya just... apologize?

He didn't even think the word 'sorry' existed in the blonde's dictionary

And why was he even in a rush? He's exactly right on time.

Was this even the real Narumiya Mei?

Maybe it's just an imposter trying to trick him...

The Mei he knows, or at least, have heard about was not someone who would not apologize at all

(Maybe even say he should be grateful he gave some of his precious time to him)

Eijun suddenly realized he'd been lost in thought and hadn't answered when he noticed the concerned look Narumiya had

"It's fine, I just got here myself" he smiled.

For some reason Narumiya turned away and Eijun noticed his ears were red, probably from all the running

“A-anyways!”Narumiya turned back to him again, clearing his throat in the process, “There’s this new café not too far from here! Let’s go!”

“A new café?” He tilted his head slightly as he asked

“Mhm” Narumiya hummed agreeingly “I heard it has a great romantic atmosphere as well” He turned his head to wink at him

A romantic atmosphere?

Why did Narumiya tell him that?

(And there’s that wink again! Why does he keep doing that?)

They made their way to the café, holding small talk along the way

At some point Narumiya had even joked about how “There’s other guys who can treat you much better than Kazuya does!! Just look around you!” as he gestured to himself for some weird reason he doesn’t know

Seriously, what was Narumiya even trying to say?

He doesn’t get it.

Before he knew it, they’d already arrive at the café. It wasn’t that far from Seidou and was only a few minutes' walk from the bus stop.

Narumiya eagerly walked ahead him, opening the door first only to freeze on the spot.

...What happened to him?

Why did he suddenly stop?

Curiously, he glanced over the blonde’s shoulder, following Narumiya’s eyes to the counter where an eerily familiar bespectacled brunette had his lips interlocked with the barista over the counter

That hair... that pair of glasses...

Eijun felt his heart stop as realization hit him

Was... was that Kazuya...?

Narumiya turned to him, eyes widened with emotions he couldn’t understand “Isn’t that Kazuya...?”

“Oh.” he stared blanky “It is Kazuya.”

His eyes drifted downwards to the barista’s chest, his nametag hanging from the straps of his apron

‘Nakamura Hiro’

Ah.

So that’s it,

He’s ‘Hiro-san’.

The guy who Kazuya loves.

The guy his boyfriend loves.

He turned around, about to leave when a hand suddenly grabbed his arm

“You’re just going to leave?!” Narumiya hissed; his blue eyes frighteningly dark “Your boyfriend is literally kissing someone else and you’re just going to leave?”

Why was Narumiya so upset...?

Sure, to others, it might be pretty alarming.

But it’s Kazuya and his ‘Hiro-san’

He had no right to interfere.

He placed his hand on top of the blonde’s, trying to calm him down, and gave him a reassuring smile “Yeah? It’s fine y’know.”

“Fine?! How is that fine?!”

“...Because it is, Kazuya loves ‘Hiro-san’, I knew that already.” Eijun hoped Narumiya wouldn’t notice how his voice slightly trembled

Narumiya gaped at him for a moment as he tried to process what he had just said “You knew Kazuya liked someone else and you’re still dating him?!?” He suddenly felt the grip around his arm tightening and for a moment Eijun thought it might leave a bruise “How are you fine with that?!?”

“Because I love him.”

It wasn’t a lie.

It hurt, but it wasn’t a lie.

He loved Kazuya.

As long as they’re together then he’s fine,

He’s fine even if Kazuya loved someone else.

“I love him so it’s fine—”

Narumiya suddenly pulled his arm causing Eijun to yelp in surprise, and proceeded to drag them somewhere more private, away from the café.

“Stop lying to yourself!” Narumiya roared making him wince at the sudden volume “You’re not fine! There’s no way you’re just fine!”

“I’m not—” He felt something wet dripping down his cheek.

Was these... tears?

“See?” Narumiya’s voice sounded so pained and so full of pity “You’re not okay...”

In a blink of an eye, he felt strong, slender hands around him, hugging him comfortingly. His vision blurred with tears.

He felt his throat tighten as tears streamed down his face but even so, Eijun still tried to convince himself with the same lie over and over again,

That he was just fine.

“Leave him.” Narumiya suddenly spoke in a demanding tone “Leave him already.”

Eijun immediately pushed the blonde way “NO!”

“Why?! You’re just hurting yourself!”

Narumiya’s dark eyes darkened even more

“Because it’ll hurt more if Kazuya leaves me”

The feeling of completeness,

It’ll be gone if Kazuya leaves him.

And never did Eijun want to feel empty ever again.

It was wrong,

But he was fine with that.

It was like a rose with thorns,

Loving Kazuya was beautiful...

...Even if it hurts.

“As long as Kazuya’s still mine, it’s fine.” Eijun answered sharply

---

Eijun... wasn't doing well.

The summer tournament finals loss was a bitter pill to swallow.

Especially when he knew it was his fault they lost.

No one outwardly blamed him or even looked at him as if they did, but he could tell they did.

It was in the way everyone made pointed comments about the loss, especially around him...

Especially the comments about how they had gotten so close...

And they had.

They were one out away from Koushien.

One out away from getting their revenge against Inashiro.

And he had blown it.

None of his senpai had scolded him, but they also didn't tell him it wasn't his fault.

And while that was a bitter pill to swallow, he had accepted that it was his fault they lost.

And felt determined to learn from it.

(As far as he was concerned, everyone blaming him for the loss was a good thing. They easily could've tried to reassure him and tell him it wasn't his fault. That he was only a first year and couldn't help it. And that would've made him feel worse. Like... they didn't trust him enough.)

His pitching wasn't the best after the summer tournament finals, but he could still pitch.

And that was the most important thing.

Unlike now.

He had the yips.

He understood everyone wanted to get stronger and join the first string.

He really did.

But his baseball career could be ending, and it seemed like none of them... cared.

His teammates hadn't approached him.

Or said any kind words.

As if they were... enjoying his rare silence.

(Was he really that annoying?)

It was at times like this when he felt grateful for his relationship with Kazuya.

Sure, it still wasn't the most ideal relationship.

(The image of Kazuya kissing Hiro-san never seemed to leave his mind no matter how many times he tried not to think about it.)

But they were still together.

And even if Kazuya didn't love him back, he still cared about him.

Of course, he didn't know how much Kazuya cared about him.

But at least they were still together.

That was what was important.

... Or so he thought.

Even since he had gotten the yips, he started doubting everything.

His worth as a pitcher.

(Which wasn't much right now. He was painfully aware of that.)

His standing on the team.

If he could pitch again.

If he could pitch to the inside again.

And... his relationship with Kazuya.

He didn't mean to, of course.

He loved that Kazuya was still his.

Loved that they were still together even though Kazuya loved someone else.

He still felt complete.

But lately, he couldn't help but wonder why Kazuya was with him.

Baseball was important to both of them.

But he hadn't pitched in a while.

Kazuya hadn't caught his pitches in a while.

And he understood Kazuya was busy with his captain and main catcher duties.

But he was an useless pitcher.

Before, he could somewhat pitch.

But now...

Why was Kazuya still with him?

Was Kazuya still dating him because he... felt sorry for him?

He shook his head.

He was the one who told Kazuya that he could think of him as Hiro-san.

That wasn't Kazuya feeling sorry for him.

But that was before he had the yips.

He didn't know what Hiro-san was like.

(Even though he had been trying to act like him whenever they were together.)

But he didn't think Hiro-san was this... gloomy.

This quiet.

He had tried to apologize to Kazuya, but Kazuya (for some reason) told him it was alright.

If this were before he had learned Kazuya loved someone else, he might've felt relieved.

And his chest would've felt warm.

But that soft look Kazuya gave him...

That was for Hiro-san.

Not him.

Why was Kazuya still with him when he wasn't acting like Hiro-san anymore?

He hated the thought of it, but...

Why hadn't Kazuya dumped him for Hiro-san yet?

(He never wanted Kazuya to dump him. He loved feeling complete. But...)

Hiro-san seemed to feel the same as him.

So why?

Of course, he felt relieved and happy Kazuya hadn't dumped him for Hiro-san yet.

But moments like this made him wonder.

He sighed, clenching his fists.

"What's wrong?"

He gasped, eyes widening.

He had completely forgotten he was currently with Kazuya, hanging out with him in his room.

They had been cuddling on his bed.

But from the way Kazuya sat up, frowning at him, he didn't think Kazuya wanted to cuddle anymore.

(Again, it was his fault. Hiro-san would never pass up an opportunity to cuddle with Kazuya.)

Eijun sat up, looking down at his hands.

He wasn't sure what to say.

(Something that had been occurring more often ever since he had gotten the yips.)

"I..." He clenched his fists before relaxing his grip. He looked up at Kazuya, noticing his furrowed eyebrows. "It's... nothing. Sorry."

Kazuya narrowed his eyes. "Don't lie to me. I know something's wrong. Tell me."

"Why do you care?" he blurted.

He froze, eyes widening as he belatedly realized what he said, noticing as Kazuya's eyes widened.

What...?

Why had he said that for?

Before he could say anything, though, Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you...? Of course I care."

And it should've been alright after that.

Maybe he could've gotten away with it by coming up with an excuse.

If it weren't for him and his big mouth.

"Why? I'm an useless pitcher."

Kazuya gave him a warning look, but he didn't try to reassure him or protest it wasn't true.

Eijun got up, standing next to his bed and looking down at Kazuya. "I haven't pitched in days. And you don't even care."

"That's not true, and you know it," Kazuya protested. "I know it's frustrating not being able to pitch, but you should listen to Kantoku."

Again.

He had lost track of how many times he had tried to bring up his fears, doubts, and worries to Kazuya.

And Kazuya... didn't even seem to listen.

As if his fears, doubts, and worries... weren't important to Kazuya.

He had thought Kazuya cared for him.

(Even a little bit would be alright. He was still dating him after all.)

But did Kazuya care at all?

He clenched his fists. "I know I'm not Hiro-san even though I said you can think of me as him."

Kazuya gave him that warning look from earlier.

"And I'm alright with that. But I'm still your teammate." Eijun hated the way his voice sounded soft and hurt.

Kazuya got up, standing next to him and raising his eyebrows. "What, so you think I don't care about you at all?"

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Eijun clenched his fists even tighter. "You don't listen to me at all, and you don't seem to care whether I pitch again."

Kazuya narrowed his eyes, stepping closer. "That's not true, and you know it. I—"

"Then why won't you listen to me?" He closed his eyes briefly before giving him a pained look. "Would you listen to me if I were Hiro-san?"

Kazuya glared at him. "Stop bringing up Hiro. That's none of your business."

Eijun gave him another pained look. "Kazuya, I'm happy we're still together. But there's more to a relationship than kissing."

"What do you...?"

Kazuya wasn't the type to talk about his feelings.

But Kazuya knew what kind of person he was.

And he had hoped he could share his feelings with Kazuya.

But Kazuya didn't care.

Kazuya only cared about touching him and talking to him about baseball.

(And Kazuya had barely talked to him about baseball ever since he had gotten the yips.)

He sighed. "Feelings, Kazuya. You don't care about my feelings at all."

"But you said you're alright with our relationship."

He almost sighed again. "I am happy with our relationship. But you never want to listen to my feelings. Is this what you do with Hiro-san?"

Kazuya glowered at him. "I told you not to bring up Hiro."

Eijun wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but he wasn't sure if Kazuya would let him. "I'm not asking you to share your feelings with me. Although I would like it if you did. But..." He struggled to keep eye contact, especially with the way Kazuya glowered at him. "Is something wrong with telling you my feelings? Why can't you just listen to me silently? Hiro-san—"

"Shut up! Stop bringing up Hiro!"

But Eijun found he... couldn't stop speaking. "Do you even love Hiro-san? You don't care about his feelings at all? Hiro-san—"

"I said shut up!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch. "Stop talking about Hiro like you know him!"

He hated that Kazuya was getting this angry.

And... he hated how Kazuya wasn't listening.

He took a deep breath before reaching out for Kazuya's hand. "Kazuya, I..."

But Kazuya stepped away from him, eyes cold. "You're not him."

He froze, hand still outstretched. "Eh?"

What did he just...?

"You're not him."

His heart dropped.

It couldn't be...?

He stepped closer, almost flinching again as Kazuya's eyes darkened. "K-Kazu—"

"Shut up! You're not him, and you'll never be him!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch.

Eijun's eyes widened in horror.

What... had he done?

Sure, he didn't like it how Kazuya loved Hiro-san.

And sure, he didn't like it how he pretended to be someone he wasn't.

(All for Kazuya. He loved Kazuya.)

But he was... alright with their relationship.

Because it meant Kazuya was still his.

Because it meant... he still felt complete.

His tongue felt like it was glued to his mouth.

He couldn't say anything.

"Forget it. We should've done this a long time ago."

His eyes widened even more (if it were possible).

Oh no.

That did not sound good.

Eijun stepped closer, his heart clenching at the way Kazuya's eyes darkened. "Kazuya, wait. I... didn't mean it. I'm—"

To his horror, Kazuya stepped around him, making his way toward his door. "No. Clearly, I was the stupid one for believing this would work." He shook his head, stopping in front of the door. "What was I thinking?"

... Why did he say that in past tense?

It was as if...

His heart dropped at the realization.

"Kazuya, wait! I'm sorry!" If Kuramochi-senpai were in the room, his jaw would've dropped as he practically flew across the room, clinging to Kazuya's shirt sleeve. "We can... We can still make this work!"

Kazuya turned his head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "How? You'd still be with someone who doesn't love you. And I'd still be with someone who isn't Hiro."

His heart...

His heart felt as if it were breaking.

"I'll do better next time! I..." He hated the thought of it, but if it meant Kazuya wouldn't leave him... "Please, Kazuya! I'll... I'll be a better Hiro-san for you! Give me another chance!"

But Kazuya shook his head, his eyes dark. "You're not him, and you'll never be him."

Eijun felt tempted to grab the spot where his heart was. "Please, Kazuya! I—"

"Shut up!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch and let go of him. "It's over! Why can't you realize that!"

Kazuya opened the door, looking back at him. "I'll see you at practice, Sawamura."

It was as if Kazuya had slapped him.

Kazuya... Kazuya called him Sawamura...

His family name...

As if... they were back to the relationship they had before they started dating.

"K-Kazu—"

Kazuya glowered at him, and somehow, he looked angrier than before, causing him to shiver. "Don't call me Kazuya anymore! You have no right to call me that!" He gave him a warning look, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "And you better not call me that tomorrow at practice or if we somehow see each other at school."

And then, Kazuya left, not looking behind him even once.

Eijun quickly chased after him, but he found himself... freezing right outside his door.

So that was it?

Kazuya... broke up with him?

(Did Kazuya think he was annoying, too?)

He really hadn't meant to say any of that.

Sure, he wasn't totally happy with his relationship with Kazuya.

But at least they were still together.

Unlike now.

Why had he let his doubts, fears, and worries bubble up like that?

Kazuya...

Kazuya had broken up with him.

(And for good reason. Maybe Kazuya had gotten tired of him.)

He trudged away from his dorm room, feeling numb.

It was strange.

He thought if Kazuya ever broke up with him, he would feel indescribable pain.

Thought his life would be over.

Thought feeling empty would hurt more than this.

But he wasn't even crying.

Sure, his heart was screaming in pain.

But he wasn't crying.

Was something wrong with him?

He made his way out of Seidou, trudging over to the bus stop, not even realizing where he was at first.

Had... Had Kazuya cared about him at all?

If someone else (like Furuya) had confessed to Kazuya, would Kazuya have accepted them as easily as he did him?

Would... Would Kazuya have at least listened to their feelings?

He blinked a few times, not sure if he were trying to stop himself from crying or because he finally realized where he was.

This...

This was the bus stop where he would wait for Kazuya.

Where Kazuya had promised to meet him for their dates.

Dates he never showed up to because he was too busy kissing Hiro-san, his traitorous mind whispered.

He shook his head, sitting down despite himself.

While it was true he and Narumiya had caught Kazuya kissing Hiro-san that one time, that didn't mean Kazuya had bailed on all their dates.

... Right?

But if Kazuya had cared about him even a little bit, he would've shown up for their dates instead of bailing on him.

Kazuya had tried kissing him and making him feel good, as if the pleasure could make up for what Kazuya had done.

And while it did feel good, it had felt wrong.

If Kazuya had cared about him, he would've apologized and actually showed up to their next date.

But he hadn't.

He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head.

Of course he hadn't.

Kazuya hadn't cared about him or his feelings.

Eijun sniffed, not even realizing he was crying until he looked down at his lap and the bus stop bench, watching as his tears wet his pants and the bench.

He wiped away the tears, sniffing again.

Why was he crying now?

Why didn't he cry earlier?

(Something was wrong with him.)

He didn't know why.

It was as if all the pain he had been holding in just... bubbled up.

Kazuya didn't care about him.

Would never care about him.

Kazuya only loved Hiro-san.

He let out a choked sob, wrapping his arms around his legs.

He had felt complete not too long ago.

But he felt... empty now.

As if... he had never met Kazuya.

Or Kazuya had taken his other half with him.

He sobbed, tightening his arms around his legs, knowing no one would come check on him.

(Why would they? It wasn't as if anyone cared.)

Tears coursed down his cheeks, the tears not stopping as he continued thinking about Kazuya.

And how empty he felt

An hour ago...

No, maybe even thirty minutes ago...

He was still dating Kazuya.

They were still together.

But now...

All their moments they shared together...

They were starting to blur.

And he didn't want that!

Sure, his heart felt as if it had broke.

But he would rather cry and feel this pain than forget about his memories with Kazuya.

Kazuya...

Kazuya probably didn't even care that he had broken his heart.

That he was here by himself, crying his heart out.

And that was what hurt the most.

---

NARUMIYA MEI

Mei didn’t know why,

But he felt a strong urge telling him that he had to go to the bus stop right now.

It was by chance, or should he say, a twist of fate, that he had run across Sawamura Eijun, or Ei-chan, on his way back to the campus

(...It was a pure coincidence, he swears, it's not like he had been waiting at the bus stop the moment he heard they were meeting up there for their date)

And it was mainly curiosity that was fueled from the fact he was dating Kazuya that Mei had dragged him to his favorite café in the area

He found the fellow southpaw... interesting, and really cute.

Not the kind of person Kazuya deserves.

Which what led him to often visiting that very same bus stop on his off days to see if the brunette was there (In other words, to see if Kazuya had stupidly bailed on their date again)

He knew the reason why he felt such a strong urge to go there right now was probably because of Ei-chan

It probably wasn’t a good idea, especially when after the loss he had just experienced in Koshien,

But he felt... no, he knew he would regret it later if he didn’t listen to his instincts.

He suddenly recalled their last date before the summer tournament started

How he and Ei-chan had caught Kazuya cheating with someone else,

How Ei-chan‘s voice trembled as he told him how he knew Kazuya had loved someone else the entire time,

How Ei-chan painfully convinced his own self that it was fine.

He knew Ei-chan wasn’t fine,

It was terrible,

Seeing Ei-chan cry... seeing him hurt himself just for the sake of someone who didn’t even deserve it,

Seeing his usually lustrous golden orbs so pained and dark.

If he were Kazuya, he would have cherished him like no other,

He would have given him all his hours when he had the chance.

He would never let him cry.

He rushed to the bus stop where he always finds Ei-chan as fast as possible.

He knew he had to get there quick.

He didn't really know why... He just knew.

When he arrived, he noticed a figure sitting alone at the stop, curled up in a ball and... crying to himself.

He stepped closer quietly to get a proper look and felt himself holding his breath as he recognized the mop of brown hair the person had

“...Ei-chan?” Mei asked carefully, hoping it wasn't the brunette who was crying to himself

It didn't take long before misty golden eyes looked back at him

He lookes so lifeless, so... empty,

So broken.

"Ei-chan... what's wrong?" tried to ask carefully but it only led to the brunette crying even more, shaking his head as he did so.

Mei was at lost, he didn't know what to do to help and the sight of Eijun crying tore his heart.

He made his way beside the brunette quietly and gently placed his hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles to help and comfort him. "I'm right here. Just cry it all out, i won't leave your side" He whispered softly, surprised at how tender his own voice sounds

Seconds became minutes and those minutes felt like hours as he stayed by Eijun's side, patiently rubbing his back as he tried to speak warm, reassuring words of comfort.

Mei noticed how the sobbing stopped "are you alright now?"

Ei-chan nodded weakly and Mei breathed in relief, glad the brunette was slightly better now.

Deciding it's better to ask sooner than later, he inhaled deeply as he opened his mouth to speak yet Eijun beat him to it.

He turned to face Mei, eyes still foggy from confusion and pain, hesitantly, he spoke

"Kazuya... He broke up with me.."

#daiya no ace #Daiya no A #diamond no ace #ace of the diamond #daiya no ace fanfic #miyuki kazuya #narumiya mei #sawamura eijun #kuramochi youichi #kominato haruichi #meisawa #misawa #miyusawa #team kazuya or team mei?#fanfic #fanfiction #kketilin writes #angst #heavy angst

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