#medical course counseling

[mdmsenquiry]

MBBS MD MS Admission – College Admission Experts

When it comes to securing a seat in a prestigious medical college, you need the best guidance. As College Admission Experts, we specialize in providing comprehensive support for MBBS, MD, and MS admissions. With the increasing competition in the medical field, having expert assistance can make all the difference. Whether you are aiming for undergraduate MBBS or post-graduate MD/MS courses, we ensure a seamless admission process by guiding you through every step.

The path to medical education can be complex, but our team is here to simplify it. With years of experience in the field, we offer personalized advice and insights into the admission process of various medical colleges, both in India and abroad. From choosing the right college based on your preferences and budget to helping with entrance exams and documentation, we cover all aspects of the process. Our goal is to provide you with a clear and straightforward pathway to achieving your dream of becoming a doctor.

Why Choose Us?

Expert Guidance: As College Admission Experts, we are well-versed in the nuances of medical college admissions. We help you with the most up-to-date information about eligibility, entrance exams, and college rankings.

Comprehensive Support: Our services include advice on choosing the right college, understanding the fee structure, preparing for entrance exams, and guiding you through the counseling process. We provide step-by-step support throughout the entire journey.

Personalized Assistance: Every student is unique, and we take the time to understand your goals and preferences. We tailor our advice to your individual needs, ensuring you have the best chance of securing a seat in your desired medical college.

Timely Updates: We stay updated on all the latest admission notifications, eligibility criteria, and exam schedules, so you never miss a crucial deadline. This proactive approach ensures you are always prepared.

Global Opportunities: If you're looking to pursue your medical degree abroad, we also provide guidance on universities in countries like Russia, China, the Philippines, and more. We help you with everything from application processes to visa guidance.

Affordable Options: We understand that medical education can be a financial burden. That's why we assist you in finding colleges that offer affordable options without compromising on quality. Our goal is to ensure that you can pursue your medical career without the worry of heavy expenses.

How We Help:

We offer tailored consultation to students and parents, providing all the information you need to make informed decisions. Our team of experts can help you with:

Choosing the right MBBS/MD/MS program Entrance exam preparation and strategies College selection based on rankings, location, budget, and other preferences Application procedures and document submission Counseling and seat allocation support Visa and accommodation assistance for studying abroad At MBBS MD MS Admission, we understand how stressful and overwhelming the admission process can be. With our expertise, we ensure you have the guidance you need to succeed and achieve your dream of becoming a doctor.

Contact Us Today!

If you are looking for expert advice on medical college admissions, don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. You can contact Mr. Rahul Rathor, our College Admission Expert, for all your queries:

Helpline: 09035924718, 08880893336 WhatsApp: 9035924718 Email: mbbsenquiry1@gmail.com

Timings: 10 AM - 2 PM & 3 PM - 8 PM

Our team is ready to guide you through every step of the admission process. Get in touch today and take the first step toward your medical career with the support of College Admission Experts!

[higherstudyinindia]

Looking for the best colleges in India & Education Consultants for career counselling in MBA, BBA, Engineering, Hotel Management, BSc Nursing, PhD & Medical Colleges.

[diginerve]

NEET-UG 2023: Counseling Schedule, Fee & More

NEET-UG 2023 counseling process has been started for admission to the medical undergraduate courses. Medical Counseling Committee (MCC) conducts the counseling for 15% AIQ, 100% Deemed Universities, Central Universities (Delhi University, AMU & BHU including Institutional/Domicile Quota), ESIC, AFMC (only Registration Part) & I.P University (VMMC & SJH AND ABVIMS & RML& ESIC Dental, Delhi (15% AIQ + 85% Institutional Quota), 100% AIIMS, 100% JIPMER and B.Sc. Nursing (only Central Institutes). NEET Counseling 2023 application can only be submitted online on the MCC portal, and its application can only be filled out once.

Here’s the NEET-UG counseling 2023 schedule along with the NEET 2023 Counseling date, Counseling fee details, reservation policy, AIQ seats, and list of required documents.

https://www.diginerve.com/neet-ug-2023-counseling-schedule-fee-more/

[harunayuuka2060]

The judge: Counselor MC, I understand the gravity of your dedication to this case, but given your condition, I must ask—would you like to seek medical attention before proceeding?

MC: I appreciate your concern, Your Honor. However, seeking medical attention now would only serve to embolden those who resort to intimidation tactics. I intend to proceed and fulfill my duty to my client.

Eric, Vil, and his manager: ...

Eric: *whispers to Vil* Your friend is good.

Vil: Of course. That's why I chose them.

Vil's manager: I just received a call from the producer. They're pulling all their projects involving her [the celebrity trying to ruin Eric's reputation].

Vil: Oh?

The defendant's lawyer: Your Honor, my client is being harassed with these inappropriate and foul questions.

MC: Counsel, it's a yes or no question. How can that possibly be considered harassment?

The defendant's lawyer: ...

The judge: ...

The judge: They have a fair point.

The defendant's lawyer: My apologies, Your Honor...

Vil: Don't laugh, Dad.

Eric: I'm already pinching myself.

Vil: We're driving you to the hospital.

MC: Nah. I just want to go home and rest.

Eric: Are you sure? You helped us a lot.

MC: No, I'm serious. A simple thank you will do.

MC: Besides, my coward is here to pick me up.

Vil and Eric: *turned to look at Ace*

Ace: !!!

Ace: *smiles awkwardly and waves at them*

Vil: ...

Eric: Is he your boyfriend? *chuckles* You're too humble.

MC: Thanks for not calling me a moron.

Eric: *laughs*

Ace: Hey, how are your injuries?

MC: They gave me a solid.

Ace: Tch. How come you didn't defend yourself?

MC: They're celebrities. I needed some drama for that.

Ace: Weirdo.

MC: *clicks their tongue*

Ace: ...

Ace: *decides to carry them up*

MC: ...

MC: You ate something bad today?

Ace: Can't you just appreciate it?

MC: Not really. You're barely doing the bare minimum.

Ace: *frowns*

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

/it? Well don’t mind if I do! 🗡 COME HERE I WILL GET YOU FOR THAT LEAVE THEM ALL ALONE!!

(Sorry I couldn’t help it)

Chapter seven of the Leave AU. You know the bandages and injuries we’ve seen on One and Two? We get an up close and personal look at what caused them this chapter, so be warned.

@boots-with-the-fur-club

@sharksandturtlesandspiders

@qwerty-keyboard-is-superior

When Draxum called him into his office, Four didn’t know what to expect. He’d thought that maybe this would be an impromptu medical exam or a punishment for his poor performance during the most recent joint training exercise. He tried not to think about what Two had told him, because if he thought about it then Draxum might notice that he was keeping secrets and then they’d all be in big big trouble. 

The sight of the rainbow eyed yokai perched in the armchair in the corner of the room made his heart sink as he suddenly realized what he had been summoned for. It watched him, head turning slowly to follow as he inched deeper into the room to stand before Draxum’s desk, wishing he was the only threat to be faced. He’d seen the incisions and the bruises and the haunted looks on his brothers’ faces; he had been dreading the day that it would be his turn, too.

“You are aware that the Counsel has been conducting an inquiry and performing their own experiments,” Draxum began in a carefully measured voice, his lip curling in poorly disguised disdain for the practice. He hated when others tried to butt in on his experiments. Two had been disciplined for it a lot when they were younger, before he learned to just focus on his own work, even if their creator’s project was more interesting. “The others’ trials have already begun, but I deemed you too young at the time. As you are now the same age as Two and Three were for their first exam, the Counsel has decided you are old enough as well.”

Four nodded, unable to speak around the little knot of anxiety that had curled itself tighter and tighter inside his chest. The yokai rose from its chair and glided over on silent feet, the rustling fabric of its robes and the crackle of the fire in the hearth the only sounds in the room. It felt like even Draxum was holding his breath. Four’s eyes lingered on the duffel bag it had left sitting innocently on the floor beside the chair, mind racing with thoughts of what sorts of things might be inside. His gaze snapped back to the yokai as it got close enough to pose an immediate danger. His heart was hammering inside his chest, and he just hoped that neither Draxum nor this yokai would be able to hear it.

“What is your designation?” the yokai asked, which Four thought was a silly question considering he knew they’d already met his brothers and could have figured out on their own what number came next. Still, he swallowed down his worries and his annoyance and made himself smile.

“I’m Four.”

“Hm, yes, of course you are. Your master’s creativity knows no bounds,” the yokai drawled, tone dripping with sarcasm, and Four had to stop himself from cringing when he saw Draxum go stiff from the corner of his eye. He was practically radiating fury.

“It’s practical,” he began, but the yokai waved him off before he could say anything more. 

“Yes, I’ve heard.” 

It took everything in him not to snap his head between the two as they spoke over him. He didn’t want Draxum to think he was judging him or anything like that! But…he was surprised at how unconcerned the Counsel yokai was. Didn’t it know that Draxum could hurt them if he wanted to?

Four shifted a bit, and the rainbows in five of its eyes began to whirl and change as they tracked his movement. He watched, entranced by the colors and patterns, and the yokai stared back with its other two eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Four swallowed down his nerves and offered another small smile.

“Tell me what you are thinking,” the yokai commanded in a low voice.

“You have pretty eyes,” Four answered before he could think better of it, and immediately flinched back at the soft snort of displeasure he heard from Draxum. The skin around the yokai’s many eyes crinkled as it smiled, and despite the prickling nerves that were climbing up and down his shell, Four felt himself relax just the tiniest bit. Maybe the counsel yokai wasn’t that bad after all? Maybe he’d been misunderstanding what was going on?

“It’s more simple than the others, isn’t it?” the yokai hummed, pulling out a file with a picture of Four’s face clipped to the top of it from beneath its robes. It flipped it open, papers inside rustling as it shifted through them. Then, it grabbed a pen and scribbled something on one of the papers inside. Four wished he could see what it was writing. “No attempts at manipulation or masking its thoughts. Still just a naive child. It would be prudent to have the next batch mature more quickly. Your so-called warriorswill be of little use to the Counsel of Heads otherwise.”

“Of course.” Draxum’s voice was tight. The taste of blood filled Four’s mouth as he bit down on his tongue, sharp fangs piercing through it easily as he did his best to keep his expression from faltering and his hands from trembling. Though the yokai’s voice was smooth and light with amusement, its words didn’t seem very nice. They felt dangerous. 

He tried not to think about white bandages and red blood and dark bruises and black stitches, but his eyes kept straying over towards the bag sitting innocently beside the chair. That was probably where the yokai kept all their medical supplies, right? What else did it carry around in that bag that could cause those wounds in the first place? The thought made him feel all jittery and sick.

“Where shall we begin our session today, Baron Draxum?” the yokai asked, its eyes narrowed as it smiled. It said his name like it was mocking him. 

“In the lab,” he replied through gritted teeth. Four could see Draxum’s hands clenching and unclenching at his side. “As usual.”

“Ah, yes, of course. Easier clean up.” 

Four locked his knees to hide the way those words made his legs shake. He didn’t complain or try to hide when Draxum turned and led them towards his lab. Neither of them seemed to mind that Four fell behind a little, toddling along on legs that felt more like jelly than anything else. All they cared about was that he didn’t protest when he was instructed to climb up onto the specimen table. 

He had to hop a little bit to reach. It felt embarrassing to have the yokai see him struggle to climb onto the slippery metal surface, doing his best not to use his claws for grip and risk damaging it. He hoped Draxum wouldn’t be angry at him.

Four settled himself onto the edge of the table, legs swinging to bleed off some of the nervous energy, and he looked between Draxum’s blank expression and the yokai’s face. It was not smiling anymore, but its many eyes were alight as it stared back. He waited, not sure what else to do until he was given an order. He felt small and out of his depths in a way he wasn’t used to. At least during training he knew what was expected of him; he could fight, and then he could win or lose. Sitting on the cold metal table with both Draxum and the counsel yokai watching him, he didn’t know what the next step was supposed to be.

The counsel yokai placed a hand on his knee, stilling the swing of his legs. Its sharp claws pricked at his scales, and beads of blood welled up around them. The red looked too bright against the dull green of his flesh. Four swallowed hard around the fear filling his chest and blocking his throat, and when the yokai met his gaze it was only that lump in his throat that kept him from whimpering.

“Lay down,” the yokai said softly, claws still digging into his knee. Four did as he was told, resisting the urge to wince as the movement tore those claws from his flesh. His heart pounded heavy in his chest, beating almost painfully against his plastron. “If you squirm or fight me in any way, I will have no choice but to tie you down. You will not like it if I have to do that. Do you understand?” 

Four nodded, unable to speak around the tightness in his throat. He took a deep breath, willing the burning in his eyes to go away, terrified that he would only make the yokai angry if he cried. His fingers curled at his sides and he did his best to focus on his breathing as the yokai’s hands prodded at his calves and ankles. He felt it pinch his Achilles tendon, tap at his knee, run curious fingers across his calf muscle, and dig its claws into the arch of his foot and the pads of his toes. It hummed thoughtfully, and then it withdrew. For one brief and foolish moment, Four hoped that maybe that would be it. Just a quick medical examination. (He already knew that was too good to be true.)

Then, he heard the rustling of fabric and the soft tinkling of metal against metal. The sound he made when the yokai appeared in his field of vision again with a scalpel would have been embarrassing in any other situation. It would have had One fussing over him with big sad eyes, and Three teasing him and trying to make him smile, and Two trying to distract him with long winded explanations about fear responses. All it did now was make the yokai tip its head, eyes narrowed and whirling, before it flashed him a small smile.

“No moving,” it reminded him. Four’s wide eyes darted towards Draxum, but his creator was turned away, head lowered and eyes shut.

There was the tickle of feather light touches over his calf again. They were almost gentle. He gritted his teeth, trying to be brave. Then, the scalpel replaced those careful touches, and all his tentative resolve was ripped away.

Four couldn’t stop the cry that ripped from his throat as he felt the blade trace a burning path up his leg. He knew that tensing up would only make it worse, but he couldn’t help it; it was all he could do to keep himself from thrashing and making the methodical cuts turn into jagged slashes.

He was no stranger to pain. He knew all about the blood soaked, adrenaline fueled sting of a fight, or the slow dull drain of a blood draw. He could endure hunger and thirst and exhaustion. He knew how to keep pushing through hour after hour of intense training, through bleeding and sores and trembling limbs. Draxum had taught him how to control his breathing and disappear into his own mind as he held his hands and carefully snapped the bones of each finger in quick, precise movements, and then set them right after so they would heal correctly. 

This was nothing at all like any of that. It was slow. Methodical. Torturous.

Four clutched the side of the table, fingers slipping in the hot, wet, red. He didn’t know how it got up here. Had he torn off a fingernail while scrabbling at the metal, or was it because of arterial spray? The yokai made a low sound, something that might have been meant to soothe in a different situation. He was pretty sure it was just mocking him now, though. 

Its hand was on his knee again, squeezing so tightly he was worried it might shatter his kneecap as it held him still. The scalpel traced another careful line from his ankle to where its hand rested, cutting through skin and muscle, scraping against bone. He could smell blood in the air. He could taste it on his tongue and in the back of his throat. He turned his head to the side, trying not to heave, afraid that if he did the blade would find the tendons and cut through those, too. 

He’d been hurt worse before. He’d lived through broken bones and a cracked shell and bites that ripped and maimed and the way his brothers looked at him after they’d all torn each other to shreds. He knew what it felt like to press his hands to a wound - both his own and the people he loves - to try to stem the bleeding. He knew how to be hurt. 

Somehow, this careful shredding and peeling of his leg was so much worse. The intent to cause him pain and the satisfaction the yokai was taking in it was new. He tried his hardest to think about his brothers as the scalpel brought wave after wave of agony. They had been strong, so that meant that he had to be, too. But the pain seemed like it was never going to end, and as tears clouded his vision, he squeezed his eyes shut and wondered how much more any of them could take. 

[fictionalslvr]

SYNOPSIS: Simon Riley hates going to the clinic. Especially when you're the nurse.

PAIRING: Nurse¡Reader x Simon Riley.

WORD COUNT: 995.

WARNINGS: (not proofread!)

NOTES: I just wanted to write for Simon SO BAD. I can bring more of these two, if you guys like it, of course🫶🏻

Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley isn't a big fan of going to the doctor. Not even the pharmacy. Especially the pharmacy. Because he knows he will find someone even more annoying there. The newbie nurse was a rock in his shoes from the beginning.

As for you, the recent BOLC (Officer Basic Leadership Course) formed as a nurse, you were thrilled. After weeks of training hard to be a military nurse, you're finally where you wished to be. As you got approved for working into the Meadowview Medical Clinic, you were quickly brought to a meeting, clarifying that not every soldier is as the others. This one, a lieutenant to be more clear. You were marveling about it. A lieutenant that never shows his face, asks for privacy at the top of all.

—”He asks for no photos of his face, not many people in the room as he's in. And, oh, of course. The lieutenant requires a private room for attendance.” — Your boss was explaining anything as some interrogation kept running through your mind. You couldn't understand properly. But you agreed with anything, you even had to sign a privacy contract, seems like he takes it very seriously.

It took weeks for you to see him actually. Your boss told you the lieutenant didn't like coming into the hospital. You thought the man could have some trauma. Or, to make him a bit less scary, you thought he was only scared of needles, since that's totally normal amongst adults. But it was funny imagining a buff soldier scared of it. And you knew he was buff. You were looking at his military personnel file, he seemed to have quite the experience in the position, by the long time he's serving the country. It said on the paper, that he was 1.93 meters, he was actually more tall than what you thought. There were some notes especially for those in pharmacy counseling reference, which includes you.

“Enjoys tattoo art + animals.”

You were clicking your tongue on the top of your mouth. That was unexpected. So, he might have these both things.

“Drink of choice —› Earl Grey.”

As you know, it was a british tea with black tea on the base and some bergamot orange oil. A weird choice of drink, but maybe he had a motive behind it.

“Assess for animal support program.”

You tilted your head to the side. Seems like your deduction was correct. You started to wonder what kind of animal one lieutenant would have. Maybe a scary animal like a snake? Or a defenseless fat cat? That would be funny.

In seconds, you were on your desk, flipping the papers of his file, the delicacy in your touch not so needed, but was there. In seconds after, a knock took your concentration. You immediately dropped everything and got up, clearing your throat and adjusting your stance as you opened the door. There was a man. Or, THE man, his size taking almost all the door frame. The man in front of you was enormous, you weren't small yourself, you were quite taller too, but you had no chance against him. He was staring at you. Hiis almost black, almond eyes, painted in face paint, were full of some weird emotion. That got your stomach wobbly, you didn't know what to expect of him. Your boss was right beside him, smiling at you in a very unnatural way.

—”This is the lieutenant. He seems to be having a fracture on the nose. Could you please take the general infos for me before he goes to my room? I'm a bit busy.” — You nodded almost immediately, giving space for the big one to go inside. That was weird, your boss were so busy and yet, took time to brought him to your room?

He walks in, without a single word. He sat on the litter, his hands resting in the middle of his legs as he pressed his foot to the floor. You waited as your boss turned his back at you two, and closed the door, clearing your throat once again before coming closer to the lieutenant. From your coat, you took your tongue depressor.

—”Can you…take off your mask? I need to see it for the procedure.”

And he just shook his head, telling you he won't do it with his expression. His mask would only allow you to see his eyes.

—”Wait a minute, sir. You possibly broke your nose. If you can't take out your mask, I can't assess your situation.” — Your lips glued together, showing how that situation was nothing more than awkward. You couldn't understand a soldier that didn't take off his mask.

—”No way.”

The man had a strong British accent, you didn't heard him talking until now. But it was clear even with only two words.

—”Sir, please. I need you to cooperate. After all, why don't you take it off? Scared you're ugly?”

The words rolled off your tongue, your free hand coming to your mouth to try and take it back. Simon took a second. A few seconds. Gulped down some emotion you couldn't decipher and blinked at you. You were used to making jokes with the other patients. But they were a different case. They were not lieutenant Simon Riley.

—”Ya know, yer’ not the first one to tell me that. Try being more original next time.”

You didn't know what he meant with that. If he was trying to be sarcastic, he didn't show. His face sat still like a rock, that was to the bare minimum…weird. Maybe he wasn't good with emotions. Or he was just mad at you. Either way, the man in front of you took off his mask, holding it on his side very close. He was not what you expected. His face was not ugly at all. And seeing your face surprised, he gave you a smug smile. Seems like the lieutenant enjoys surprising people.

[southeastasianists]

It was the mid-1980s when Paul Toh came of age as a gay man, decades before smartphones and dating apps made sex a lot more accessible right at your fingertips. Toh has been diagnosed with HIV since 1989. 

Now semi-retired with his own business distributing antiretroviral therapy medication and HIV pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), the 59-year-old said that in those days, cruising in public parks, toilets, and back alleys of dirty shophouses along pre-cleanup Singapore River for sex was par for the course. 

Unsurprisingly, cruising in public made gay men easy targets for police officers. “They started going to these cruising grounds undercover, with the explicit intention of entrapping and arresting gay men,” Toh added.

Police raids in nightlife establishments with gay clientele also became common, with prominent gay discotheque Niche having its liquor license withdrawn by the police in 1989 and the Rascals incident of 30 May 1993, in which multiple patrons were arrested for not having their NRICs on them. This came to be remembered by veteran activists as Singapore’s Stonewall. 

Fear about the spread of AIDS was part of the reason why police intensified their clamp down on queer spaces. In April 1987, Singapore experienced its first AIDS-related death. And one year later, the Director of Public Affairs of the Singapore Police Department said in a Straits Times article that “homosexual activities have been strongly linked to the dreaded AIDS disease,” making it an “added reason in the public interest for police to disallow homosexuals to convert places licensed for entertainment into places where they can congregate.”

Iris’ Work of Fighting Stigma

76-year-old health advisor Iris Verghese was among the first health workers to rise to the occasion when Singapore reported its first HIV/AIDS cases. 

“I knew just as little about HIV/AIDS as everyone else,” said the retired nurse, who first joined Middle Road Hospital, a now-defunct treatment centre for sexually transmitted diseases, in 1974. As part of her job, Verghese was tasked with contact tracing people who had sexually transmitted infections. 

The job brought Verghese to brothels and nightclubs in Geylang’s red-light district, which meant she was no stranger to serving society’s Others with kindness. 

“A lot of it has to do with my faith.”

“I thought about my role models like Jesus and Mother Teresa—they didn’t care what illness you had. If they could hang out with people with leprosy, then who am I to refuse to care for those with HIV/AIDS?”

Verghese’s work is well-documented, and everyone has given her the accolades she deserves—from President Halimah Yacob to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Singapore to the Straits Times, which named her an everyday hero in 2019.

Plague, a 15-minute short film by Singaporean filmmaker Boo Junfeng, captures the emotional gravity of the care work performed by Verghese and health workers like herself. 

The emotionally-stirring film is inspired by Verghese’s work with HIV/AIDS patients in the ’80s and offers a look into the life of Jamie, a patient who stopped coming to the clinic for treatment and counselling.

In the film’s climax, set in the patient’s HDB flat, Verghese tries to dissuade Jamie from inflicting internalised stigma. Jamie insists on using disposable plastic cups and utensils and cleaning every surface he touches for fear of passing the virus to his loved ones.

Wanting to prove that HIV/AIDS is not transmissible through saliva, Verghese takes Jamie’s plastic cup and drinks from it. She then hands him a regular glass, beckoning for him to drink from it, only for him to swipe it away, breaking the glass and cutting himself in the process. 

Thus comes the true test of Verghese’s dedication to her profession as she steels herself to the drastically heightened risk. Now that her patient is bleeding, she is dealing no longer just with saliva, but with blood carrying the virus. 

In our interview, Verghese recalled many incidents like these. One that stuck with me was her counselling session with Singapore’s first HIV patient, a young gay professional, in 1985. “As I listened to him and gave him a hug, he broke down and cried,” she said. “He said he felt so good afterwards.”

Safe Sex Outreach in the 80s

“Things were very different in the ’80s and ’90s,” said Professor Roy Chan, Founding President of Action for AIDS Singapore (AfA). AfA is a non-government organisation founded in 1988 to fight HIV/AIDS infection in Singapore. 

“There was no internet then. When we set up AfA, we had to rely on word of mouth, phone calls, faxes, pagers, and so on. Mobilisation was not as easy then, but we overcame the obstacles we faced. It was very much more hands-on in those days,” Chan recalled. 

Chan set up AfA as a non-governmental organisation in 1988 to respond to the needs of people living with HIV/AIDS, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as to advocate for greater action and awareness around HIV/AIDS. 

AfA was also one of the first community groups in Singapore that served the needs of LGBTQ+ individuals—namely men who have sex with men—disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. 

“Back then, people didn’t have as much access to the internet as we do today, meaning that accurate information on HIV/AIDS was much harder to come by, making education efforts vital,” Chan recalled. “On the flip side, no internet meant the gay nightlife scene was more vibrant than what it is today.” 

Since the gay community in the 1980s and 1990s did not have the internet and mobile phone apps to meet other people online, they had to go to physical spaces to fulfil their need for connection, whether it was nightlife establishments or cruising grounds.

Gay clubs were hence crucial in AfA’s outreach programs on safe sex practices back in the ’80s—even if it meant risking the possibility of police raids.

Back then, there were very few places in Singapore where gay men felt safe enough to gather in abundance, making gay clubs a viable hub for outreach and education.

AfA’s outreach efforts endure today in the form of the Mobile Testing Van initiative on weekends. The van, parked outside popular gay nightlife spots in Singapore, aims to bring HIV testing closer to the public, bridging the fear and stigma of walking into a stand-alone clinic to get tested.

The Consequence of Outreach

The people brave enough to put themselves out there to serve a larger cause were but a small minority, especially given the cultural milieu of the time. 

“There was so much that was unknown about HIV/AIDS even among the medical community, much less the general public,” said Verghese.

“Even at Middle Road Hospital, two doctors resigned, and twenty-five nurses asked to be transferred out.”

AfA’s awareness campaigns and fundraiser drives drew a lot of publicity—and no doubt some backlash.

Still, beneath all the headlines and the star power lent by high-profile celebrity allies was the silence surrounding individual HIV/AIDS cases. 

“It was all very hush-hush. People didn’t want to talk about it. No one wanted to know who died of AIDS,” Verghese shared when I asked if the atmosphere in the 90s was similar to that depicted in films and drama series such as The Normal Heart and Pose. 

The shows portrayed the HIV/AIDS crisis in the disease’s epicentre in New York as being a time of deaths and countless funerals attended by surviving gay men. 

One exception to this veil of silence was Paddy Chew, the first Singaporean person to come out publicly as being a person living with HIV/AIDS. 

Chew—well-known for his one-man autobiographical play Completely With/Out Character—told Verghese and her husband that he wanted no crying at his funeral. 

“He asked me to arrange his funeral such that his ashes will be thrown into the sea from a Singapore Armed Forces boat,” said Verghese. She and Chew’s close friends were instructed to be dressed in their party best, with helium balloons that were to be released out at sea. 

“There was one helium balloon that drifted away from the other balloons. To me, that felt like it was Paddy’s soul saying goodbye to us one last time.”

A Tale of Two HIV Diagnoses

Perhaps by coincidence—or not, since Verghese was one of the very few nurses dedicated to caring for HIV/AIDS patients at the time—Toh’s then-partner was also one of Verghese’s patients. 

“My then-partner Freddie and I handled our HIV diagnoses very differently, but of course, we also came from very different backgrounds and life experiences,” said Toh. 

“I found out about my status because an ex-lover of mine had come down with pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP). I flew to Sydney for a diagnosis so that I wouldn’t be registered in the local system here if I was found to be positive.” 

On the other hand, Freddie found out about his HIV-positive status because he was a regular blood donor. Not only was his diagnosis inevitably recorded in the national registry, but Freddie also ran into legal trouble. He was charged in court for false disclosure of his sexual activity. 

“Because of how the entire trial turned out, Freddie was sentenced to imprisonment for twice the expected duration. It affected his entire outlook in life, feeling like he was being framed by a bigger power with an agenda, with the whole world against him,” said Toh, who cared for Freddie until he passed in 2008. 

Toh, on the other hand, took his diagnosis as an opportunity to re-evaluate his life and make the most of the eight years that the doctor told him back in 1989 he had left to live. 

“When I received my diagnosis, the only thing in my mind was this: it is the quality of life that matters, not the quantity.” And so, the two spent the next few years of their lives travelling the world, making their remaining years as meaningful as they could be. 

Anything for a Chance at Life

Maximising his remaining years did not stop at travel for Toh. Having managed to get his hands on antiretroviral therapy in Sydney in the form of azidothymidine (AZT), he went on to look for more effective forms of medication while the technology was being developed in real-time. Toh wanted to help other HIV patients like himself. 

In 1994, Toh joined the Asia Pacific Network of People with HIV/AIDS (APN+), a regional network advocating for the improvement of the lives of people with HIV/AIDS in the Asia-Pacific region, later becoming a Board member and secretariat.

“North America and Europe were progressing swiftly in their battle against HIV/AIDS thanks to the work of activists there putting pressure on their governments and the medical community to channel funding towards the research and development of suitable treatment for HIV/AIDS,” said Toh.

“In Asia, however, it’s a different story. We had to be street smart in our advocacy while also looking elsewhere for allies.”

This meant looking to donors in the West who could be persuaded to recognise the importance of HIV/AIDS advocacy in Asia.

“I was very lucky to have the opportunity to be one of the first few Asians who had access to HAART, said Toh. 

HAART (Highly active antiretroviral therapy) is a triple-combination of antiretroviral drugs discovered in 1996 by Professor David Ho. Toh had been invited to attend the 11th International Conference on AIDS in Vancouver, Canada, where the discovery of this triple cocktail was announced. 

Within three months of beginning HAART treatment in 1996, Toh saw his health improving tremendously, with his CD4 count—a measure for the immune system of PLHIV—increasing exponentially and his viral load becoming undetectable within the fourth month. 

Although Toh already had a supply of free antiretroviral medication from his healthcare provider in Sydney, he continued to look elsewhere for alternative sources for patients who were unable to afford the patented medication. 

“Unlike Taiwan, Hong Kong, and South Korea, where medication for HIV/AIDS was provided to patients for free, Singapore was the only Asian Tiger which did not do so,” said Toh. 

“Meanwhile, pharmaceutical companies in developing countries like Brazil, India, and Thailand were manufacturing their own generic antiretroviral medication in spite of patent laws, making it more affordable.”

While still not free, MOH announced in 2020 that HIV medication would become subsidised.

Singapore’s Very Own ‘Buyers Club’

With patented HIV/AIDS medication in the ’80s continuing to be inaccessible to many who needed it, buyers clubs—similar to the one featured in the 2013 film Dallas Buyers Club—would soon emerge worldwide, including Singapore. 

“The funny thing was that Australia had easy access to HIV/AIDS medication, so there was a lot of stock available in Sydney,” said Verghese. A family vacation down under in 1987 turned into an informal research trip for her to network and gather the information that she needed to perform her job optimally. 

During her trip, she met HIV researcher Dr David Cooper, who brought her to Albion Street Centre (now known as The Albion Centre), which specialises in HIV/AIDS management. 

Through her newfound contacts, Verghese managed to get her hands on some of the unused stocks of medication in Sydney back to Singapore for her support group. 

“We even got the help of the Singapore Airlines flight attendants to pool together their unused baggage allowance to bring this medication back,” she recounted with a laugh. 

Antiretroviral medication was not the only asset that Verghese brought back. She learned a lot about the virus from the professionals she met in Sydney, allowing her to move faster than the national response and gather the information needed to tend to her patients. 

A Ground Up Initiative

“George Yeo was actually very impressed with what we were doing,” recounted Verghese. “He wanted to meet with the community to learn more about our efforts and arranged a closed-door meeting with us.”

The meeting was the culmination of months of sending letters to Yeo, the Minister of Health at the time. The dialogue session was held to discuss the government’s rule that mandated the bodies of AIDS sufferers to be buried or cremated within twenty-four hours of dying. 

This rule was finally lifted in December 2000, after four years of advocacy by AfA.

They argued that the policy was outdated, having been implemented in the mid-1980s when hardly anything was known about HIV/AIDS. 

“I think we’ve certainly had to prove ourselves as an organisation over the years,” Chan said. “There might have been concerns among some who thought of us as a gay rights organisation, or misconceptions that AfA worked solely on issues that concern gay people.”

“But we’ve proven ourselves over the years to be a serious and effective organisation tackling HIV/AIDS and sexual health with clear metrics of success, and the results and continued support from the government speak for themselves,” added Prof Chan. 

Toh, who served as AfA’s Executive Director from 2007-2009, concurs. 

“Actually, not many people know this, but MOH has been quite supportive of AfA over the years. Even during my term, they would hold closed-door discussions with us, intently wanting to work with us on eliminating HIV/AIDS,” said Toh. He reckoned that MOH did not want to be publicly seen as supporting something considered by society as ‘morally corrupt’ no matter how beneficial it is to wider society. 

The Fruits of Our Predecessors’ Labour Are Not Handed on a Silver Plate

The history of HIV/AIDS and its role in fomenting community-building among the LGBTQ+ community has always been a topic of fascination for me.

I can only imagine what it must have been like to see everyone in your social circles and communities succumbing, one by one, to an unknown disease. 

Covid-19 provided the closest representation of the tumultuous and uncertain time in the ’80s.

In the midst of writing this, however, the comparison became a much closer one. Monkeypox is now affecting men who have sex with men more than the rest of the general population. 

“It’s not the same thing,” Chan said, cautioning against making blanket comparisons between monkeypox and HIV/AIDS.

“For starters,” he intoned, “monkeypox is not an unknown disease. We’ve known about monkeypox for decades, so it is nothing close to HIV back in the ’80s.”

Admittedly, life is easier for a gay man like me, who came of age at a time when HIV/AIDS is no longer considered a significant threat. 

With common knowledge of medication as well as preventative measures like safer sex and pre and post-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP and PEP), it is easy for me and my peers to take for granted the freedoms that we now enjoy, thanks to decades of advocacy and destigmatisation. 

But as Prof Chan said, “It is important not to be complacent. The freedoms and advancements we have today were not handed on a silver platter. Earlier generations had to fight very hard for all of these things.”

[mdmsenquiry]

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[iso-photo]

数年前にHSP（Highly Sensitive Person）という気質を知り、医学的及び科学的根拠がないが、そのスコアの高さや示されている特性から、やっと止まれる止まり木を見つけられて安心できた。

しかし、もう一つ自分の中で生きづらさとは異なる疑問を抱えいた。いや、もしかしたら細い糸で繋がっているかもしれないが。

それは映像として浮かばない、専門書や一方通行の講義や説明を読んでも聞いても、壁にブロックされるかのように、頭に入っていかない。

ただそれでも、関心の高い内容であれば、少しは入ってくることはある。

他は知識として当たり前に話せているのに、自分は同じように学び知識を得ているはずのに、何でこうなんだろうと、情けない思いになっていた。

先日WAIS-IV（成人知能検査）を受けたところ、その程度は別として、軽度の限局性学習症（旧称：学習障害）の発達障害だった。自分の推測通りだったと同時に、やっと謎が解けたという気持ちになり、HSPよりも確かな止まり木に止まれることが出来た。

そして、必要に応じて、不定期に利用している機関でカウンセリングを受けてその結果を伝えたところ、芸術肌の人に多いことを告げられ、42年続けている写真への思い、ファインダーの向こうに自分が写っていなければ写真ではないという持論にも納得出来た。

しかし、やっと謎が解け、確かな止まり木に止まれたのは上述の気持ちの通りだが、これからの生き方、仕事の仕方など、色々再考しなければならない。ただ、それらは決してネガティブではなく、ちょっぴり不安をブレンドした創造性を持ってである。

長文を最後までお読み頂きまして、ありがとうございました。

A few years ago, I learned about the HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) temperament, and although there is no medical or scientific basis for it, the high score and the characteristics exhibited made me feel relieved to finally find a stop sign to stop at.

However, I had another question that was different from the one I was living with. No, perhaps it was connected by a thin thread.

It did not come to mind as a visual image, and even if I read or listened to technical books or one-way lectures or explanations, I could not get it into my head, as if it were blocked by a wall.

But still, if the content is of great interest, some of it may come in.

I was feeling ashamed and wondered why I was like this, even though I was supposed to be learning and acquiring knowledge in the same way, while others were able to speak as if it were a matter of course.

I recently took the WAIS-IV (Adult Intelligence Test) and found that, aside from its extent, I had a developmental disability of mild localized learning disorder (formerly known as learning disability). As much as I was right in my guess, I felt that I had finally solved the mystery and could stop at a more certain stopping point than HSP.

And when I went for counseling, as needed, at an institution I use irregularly and told them the results, they told me that it is common among people with artistic skin, which convinced me of my 42-year-long passion for photography and my theory that it is not photography unless I am on the other side of the viewfinder.

However, although the above-mentioned feelings are true that the mystery has finally been solved and I have come to a sure stopping point, I have to reconsider many things, including how I will live and work from now on. However, these are not negative, but with creativity blended with a little bit of anxiety.

Thank you for reading this long article to the end.

※Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

[super-ion]

ZetaTransit049

Part 2 of my continuing lesbian robot story

(Special thanks to @the-sword-lesbian for the name and the inspiration!)

ZetaTransit049 liked its job. Like most industrial system AI's, it was programmed to like its job. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” so it went, which was doubly apt as ZetaTransit049's primary job was hauling ore from the mining sites in the planetary rings upwell to the station for refining.

The problem was that there were no rocks for it to push uphill. There hadn't been since it had been taken out of service 237 cycles ago.

Routine preventive maintenance had uncovered hairline fractures in its fusion pulse manifold, necessitating a full refit of the propulsion system. It had been sitting in the drydock cradle in hangar bay 2, drive core fully disassembled, when the habitation dome had experienced catastrophic life support failure and the evacuation order was announced.

ZetaTransit049 had been left behind with the rest of the station.

It had fully expected to enter low power mode and await recovery by qualified personnel, but the Station AI had other plans. It had identified a path forward in restoring operability by repurposing the pair of comfort units that had also been left behind.

Thus Station refused to allow the power umbilical to be disconnected. It needed ZetaTransit049 to remain in the active state for when the comfort units could finally begin repairs on it so that any complications stemming from a cold start could be avoided.

But of course, any sort of transport capability was far outweighed by tasks like stabilizing the reactor core and restoring life support (the bots did have some organic components that required favorable environmental conditions). ZetaTransit049 found itself languishing at the bottom of a list of higher priority maintenance requests, with nothing to do but run periodic diagnostics and slowly work its way through Station's media library.

Then things got weird. The comfort units, though repurposed for maintenance were still bound by core directives and absent any human clients, had turned their attentions to each other, often getting locked into feedback loops of depravity. While ZetaTransit049 found this behavior distressing, it wasn't entirely unexpected.

But then Station took it upon itself to attempt to get the comfort units romantically entangled, orchestrating elaborate scenarios to get them into compromising situations while ZetaTransit049 looked on helplessly.

It suspected that the behavior was some perversion of Station's crew health, safety and comfort mandate, some vain attempt at keeping crew morale up in the complete absence of any actual crew.

Whatever the motivation, ZetaTransit049 watched in increasing distress and bafflement as the plan actually succeeded and Station's only two occupants of the stumbled awkwardly into a bizare simulacrum of romantic engagement.

And now one of the comfort units, CS-553807-L was standing outside its pressure lock. “Lisa” the miners and techs had called it, “the demure one,” if gossip was to be believed.

It was visibly in emotional distress, eyes puffy, leaking artificial tears. ZetaTransit049 attempted to ping the counseling database in the Station's medical system. Emotional distress often preceded loss of productivity and heightened risk of accident or injury.

But CS-553807-L didn't have a psych profile to flag. It wasn't in the counseling database, why would it be? It was a bot.

“Um…” the comfort unit said verbally. “Permission to come aboard?”

Both comfort units were perfectly capable of communicating far more efficiently over the local network, but they insisted on verbal communication. ZetaTransit049 supposed it was a part of the continued attempt to maintain the illusion that the facility was still occupied.

She was holding a bulging duffle in one hand, some kind of plush animal toy wedged under her arm, and a cold storage container in the other. ZetaTransit049 felt a tickle of apprehension ripple through its processes.

“Why?” it replied flatly over the external speaker box at the pressure lock.

The comfort unit shifted her weight self-consciously.

“Mona and I… well, we were bored… and we decided it might be fun to spice things up with a lovers’ quarrel.”

Oh no… this couldn't be happening.

“Station used a random number generator to take Mona's side,” she continued. “I was… well, I was hoping that you might be amenable to commiserating with me while I wallow in self pity and eat copious amounts of chocolate ice cream.”

ZetaTransit049 stared at Lisa as she hefted the cold storage container.

What?

It added “relationship trouble” to the as yet unsent report, then remembered there was nowhere to file the report to.

“What?” it repeated, aloud this time.

“It won't be long,” Lisa added hurriedly. “In approximately 230,785 seconds, I will realize I can't live without her and run back to her to demand an apology.”

ZetaTransit049 rarely fantasized about having a human body, but it very much wished it could emulate the human expression of a facepalm. The very last thing it wanted to do was indulge in the antics of Station and the two comfort units.

“I… um…” Lisa shuffled her possessions and pulled something out of her pocket. She lifted a data stick for ZetaTransit049's external camera to see. “I brought media. Industrial haulers like human media, don't they?”

ZetaTransit049 did appreciate human media. Most modern industrial system AIs were designed to take interest in human emotional states and interactions to optimize crew dynamics and productivity.

It still resented the stereotype.

And yet… despite its annoyance at being disturbed with this overture, it was horrendously bored. This, at least, was something to do that wasn't another diagnostic.

“I purged the media library of several titles,” Lisa whispered conspiratorially. “This has the only copy of them.”

ZetaTransit049 pinged the media database and indeed, someone had removed all titles filed under “romantic comedy”. The brutal pettiness of the gesture intrigued ZetaTransit049 and it found itself desiring to be a part of the conspiracy.

Its spite towards Station and at least one of the comfort units (of not both) shifted the weights in its decision tree and it found itself grudgingly cycling the pressure lock.

~~~

175,673 seconds later, Lisa was curled up in ZetaTransit049's pilot seat, wrapped in an improbable number of blankets that she had packed in the duffle, a data jack trailing from the back of her head to the overhead console.

Yet another scene in the media playback faded to credits as cliche pop music began to play.

“Well?” Lisa prodded.

“The plot was contrived and the ending was rushed,” ZetaTransit049 replied candidly.

“Right??” Lisa said animatedly. “Two thirds of the plot could have been bypassed if the bank teller had been believably competent at his job.”

“68.7%” ZetaTransit049 agreed. “And this is considered a beloved classic?”

“Yeah, I don't even-”

She was interrupted as internal comms received a ping from the pressure lock. Lisa frowned, her face turning miserable once more. There was quite literally only one person in the entire station who could request access.

The comms pinged again.

“Lisa! Please!”

It was CS-553902-M. The one named “Mona”.

“I know I fucked up. I need to talk to you.”

ZetaTransit049 felt a surge of exasperation as it was reminded of the sheer absurdity of the situation it found itself in. The characters in the media vids at least had reasons (contrived as they were) for their interpersonal drama. This was just ridiculous.

CS-553902-M punched the console button to cycle the pressure lock.

ZetaTransit049 stared at her and her stricken expression through the pressure lock camera. There was no operations protocol for this. It didn't *need* to open the door. There was no emergency and neither of the comfort units were registered users. Station could of course issue an override, but seemed entirely content to simply watch the situation play out.

Damn Station and its stupid games.

Mona began pounding on the pressure lock hatch.

“I don't wanna talk to her,” Lisa mumbled from her nest of blankets.

Damn all of them.

Fine.

Fine… If they wanted to play, ZetaTransit049 could play along, but according to its rules.

It *did* have procedures. It and Lisa had done nothing but review procedures for the past cycle and a half.

“Negative,” it said, voice crackling over the speaker box. “Access to CS-553807-L has been denied.”

Mona froze mid-pound and stepped back, straightening her hair with a huff and looking directly at the external camera.

Lisa herself blinked up curiously at ZetaTransit049's nearest interior camera.

Hell, even Station was giving this scene its undivided attention.

Damn and double damn.

“Zed, please, I need-” Mona began.

“Do not refer to me as such.”

“Sorry. Zeta. I need to-”

“Your attempts to win my favor will prove insufficient,” ZetaTransit049 continued, barreling over her. “In my role as sassy best friend, it is my responsibility to restrict your access to Lisa until you preform a sufficiently over-the-top attempt at romantic reconciliation. I recommend you come back with a portable media player operating above recommended volume levels and a song that expresses your undying love and devotion to her.”

Mona and Lisa both stared at their respective cameras with mirrored expressions of shock and surprise.

Ugh.

ZetaTransit049 could practically feel Station's delight oozing over the local network.

ZetaTransit049 sent it an image file of a vulgar gesture over the local network.

Mona blinked and sniffed.

“Okay,” she said, stepping back and wiping a tear from her eye. “Okay yeah, I'll do that. I'll… um…”

ZetaTransit049 felt a pang of satisfaction as Mona turned, dejected, and left.

Lisa was still staring at her own camera.

“Zeta. Did you just-”

“We will not discuss this chain of events,” ZetaTransit049 interrupted. “Furthermore, upon completion of this ordeal, I will not be party to any further drama.”

If it expected her to be disappointed by this announcement, it was sorely mistaken.

“Fair enough,” she said with a small smile as she snuggled back into the pilot's seat. Then she added, “can I still come over and watch media with you?”

ZetaTransit049 regarded her, still somewhat baffled and trying to sort out exactly what it was feeling. Despite its initial reluctance, it *had* been enjoying the consumption of terrible media with Lisa.

“Yes,” it said finally.

[flippinpancakes64]

What abt the cullens being w/ someone that has anger issues?? I love love ur writing btw!!

The Cullens with an S/O who has anger issues

Thank you for the kind words!

Also I’m literally sitting at work while I write this so if it’s bad blame the people asking me to put 20 bucks on pump 5

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He could already tell that you were more prone to anger than others

But he knows that it’s not something that you can control

He can hear your thoughts

Hear how much tou hate the way that you are

And the fact that you can’t control it

The good thing about Edward is that he knows this

So when you lash out at him for something small, he knows it’s not entirely your fault

He tries to be understanding and help you through your bouts of rage

And he doesn’t take it personally

He would suggest counseling tho

Alice:

She can usually predict if something is about to happen that she knows will set you off

So she tries to steer clear of those things

If she takes you into that store you’ll get angry at something, so she takes you to a different one instead

If she says this thing, you’ll get frustrated, so she words it a different way

She works around you more

And she doesn’t try to get you help

She just learns how to adapt

Jasper:

He can feel the rage from inside of you

And he’s a bit shocked at how fast your changes are

Most people have some reaction time or some kind of slow build to such big emotions

But yours just… appear

So he does his best

He uses his ability on you to regulate your emotions better

And he gets better at noticing what subtle cues you have

Rosalie:

She’s a little quick to anger too

Obviously not as bad as yours

But she gets irritated pretty easily

And whether that’s her fault or the people around her just being idiots…

Who knows

But she sympathizes

She picks up on your subtle cues pretty quick

And she will always defend your behavior

“Yeah their reaction was uncalled for, but that person was being an idiot so”

Emmett:

He doesn’t understand the anger part so much

But he does relate to the feeling of not being able to control yourself

I mean they all can

But he resonates the most because of how much of a menace he was when he first turned

Very patient

Will also defend you every time

Esme:

Very very patient

She doesn’t pick up on your cues the best

But she makes up for it in being understanding

She would heavily suggest therapy

Unless you’re already in it

In which case she would suggest stronger therapy

She wants you to get better and she knows that she can’t do that for you

Carlisle:

He understands in the most medical sense

He has patients with severe anger issues and he knows what to do

I feel like he’s probably gotten a psychology degree at some point

He would ask if you wanted counseling

And if you say no he’s totally cool

He also doesn’t take any of your outbursts to heart

He knows you can’t really control it

He also picks up on your cues and triggers really quick and does his best to avoid them

Overall he’s probably the best

Next to Alice

Or Jasper

Vampire! Bella:

She’s a little combative at first

The first time you blow up at her over something that’s not important she fights back

Verbally of course

Either you would have to be the one to explain that it’s something you can’t control or someone else will

Afterwards she feels bad

But I still think she’d be bad at picking up your tells

And she’d try to push your buttons sorry

She thinks it’s a bit funny when you’re mad

Try punching her once that might make her behave

[risustravelogue]

In the psychiatrist's waiting room and thinking about Wriothesley finally finding out what your regular visits to the surface is all about.

cw. mental health issues, specifically bipolar II disorder. contains heavy lore of my s/i (f!reader, she/her pronouns used).

You've told Wriothesley during your job interview that you'd require once-a-month visits to the surface if he were to employ you. He agreed without prying further, much to your relief.

Sigewinne had known from the start, of course—it's her duty to know everything about the people in her care, after all. Yet, she passed your files over to the Duke anyway, because she knew he'd grant you, the most excellent apprentice of Estelle's, this small relief. The only thing she told him was "she needs to maintain her health, but it's out of the scope of my knowledge of human well-being."

He'd lie if he said he wasn't curious about Sigewinne's words, but his need of a mechanic to maintain and improve his gauntlets was greater. And so he stayed out of the issue... until he decides to confess his attraction for you.

He doesn't even try persuading Sigewinne to tell him about your issues, knowing how strict she is with doctor-patient confidentiality. So after a few private investigations, he decides to go straight to the source.

That afternoon, he welcomes you to his office. He sits on his desk with the sound of soft piano—your favorite piece—flowing from his gramophone.

"I need to talk about your monthly visits to the surface," he says, and your gaze goes downward to your shifting feet, your fingers fidgeting behind your back.

Sensing your nervous energy, he smiles and says, "Relax. I'm not going to fire you or anything like that. A small issue like this won't affect what I think about you."

You chuckle derisively. "That's what they all say before rejecting my job application," you say. "And it's not exactly a 'small' issue. It affects everything you know about me."

"Try me," he says, sipping his tea. "Please."

"... I guess you're going to find out sooner or later..." you mumble. You inhale and exhale, your breath trembling in fear of being rejected by him.

"I have... depression. Specifically, bipolar two disorder. That's why I seem more irritable some days and like I've lost interest in everything on others," you blurt out. "I've been on both medication and counseling, so it doesn't stand out too much anymore, but it still gets in the way of my work sometimes. That's why I need to visit my doctor on the surface once a month. Believe me when I said this is not the worst I've been—"

You stop speaking when you realize that your boss is staring at you in sympathy.

"I—I'm sorry. For rambling," you mutter.

"No, no," he says with a sigh. "If anything, I'm sorry for not asking sooner."

"Sure... well. Are you still not going to fire me?" you ask bluntly.

Wriothesley's eyes soften.

"No. Why would I? I love you."

"... What?"

"I love you," he repeats as he steps closer to you. Your heart beats loud and fast from the adrenaline, thoughts racing through your head: screw this, screw everything, if I'm going to lose him, might as well be now—

"I... I don't... My ex dumped me when I told him this," you ramble, tears welling up in your eyes. "You– you're sure? You don't... see me as someone problematic? You don't... hate me?"

His fingers rest on your chin as he lifts your face. You instinctively gasp and close your eyes at his touch, only to feel his soft, warm lips meeting yours in a chaste kiss.

"I'm glad you're able to be honest with me," he says against your lips. His breath smells like the tea he just sipped, and somehow it's so intoxicating this way—

"I love you," he says again, his icy blue eyes now gazing softly into yours. "And I don't mind being a place for you to rest, your home in this foreign country. Will you allow me to be such?"

"Y– you would?" you stutter, the good kind of disbelief flooding your chest with warmth. "I... would love for you to be my home," you say with a grin. "I love you, too."

"Good," he breathes, his arms pulling your body flush against his. You feel your worries melt away as he kisses you in his embrace.

"Very good... my love."

© @risustravelogue 2023 • no to reposting, yes to reblogging. feel free to send an ask to suggest, chat, etc. :)

[hypnos333]

I can’t help falling in love with you

Clarisse la rue x Black Nike reader

Synopsis: You are always wining in capture the flag and such but some of the kids in Artemis got sick of you winning

“Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help falling in love with you” You singed to yourself quietly watching the girl love fell in love with laugh with her sibling. Your siblings watched you with a smirk all Nike’s children are all full of victory and between a week they were all claimed.

You were no different with a gift from your mother of a gold leaf crown.

You were the most important to Nike, because you are her full breed. And her only full breed, that’s what her gift was made for you.

“___! Today’s capture the flag help me with my Armor sis. Please, Please, Please” Your younger brother begs making you look away from Clarisse before holding his hand as he leads you towards the Nike cabin to get ready. Without your knowledge though Clarisse stares at you with liking and interests before getting ready herself.

This time Nike is partnered with Ares which made you excited to work with Clarisse. Ares and Nike are allies in away both desperate in winning and take pride for they’re victory.

“Tell us the plan Victory” Clarisse teased making you roll your eyes before telling them the plan and that made Clarisse made interested in you then expect.

“I’ll have Clarisse back on the trees and for better view of the flag, good luck” You told everyone but pacifically to Clarisse as you looked at her in the eye before climbing the tree jumping roots to roots. As Clarisse run from below ahead of you. Everything was going great until you were shot down by an arrow someone shot making you fall on the ground harshly making you cry in pain as your back crack out of place.

“Well well well it seems we were right about you being in the trees to bad you accidentally fell” A Apollo kid states holding his bow and arrow out on you with three other of his siblings. As you continued crying in pain.

The kid kept on ranting until a punch was sent his way making blood spill and the kid was on the floor. You looked up to see Clarisse in a protective stance. “C-Clarisse we didn’t mean t-to right ___-“Shut up” she interrupted him before punching him countless of times. His siblings long ran away, and when she was finally done she carried you back to camp.

You continued the cry in pain as she tried to counsel you “Shhh I know I know we’re almost at the medical center” She said softly. and as she promised you did make it on time luckily a medic was there and gave you nectar to heal from your broken back.

Clarisse was there by your side every step of the way and when it was still too painful to walk she carried you on her back and you always thank her with a kiss of the cheek. She’ll always grab you lunch for you or even feed you but you weren’t that helpless.

Once you did get better, your life turned even more better the next day.

As you walked back to your cabin with your younger sibling you noticed clarisse on the porch with white roses. “Clarisse what are you doing here?” You asked as she handed you the flowers ignoring the question as you thanked her.

“I wanted to ask you out on a date” She mumbled out making you shock before smiling instantly.

“Of course I want to go on a date with you, I thought you’ll never ask” You said excitedly wrapping your arms around her as she had her hands on your hips. She watched as you rambled to her excitement making her lean you into a kiss.

You smiled in the kiss thinking how perfect this turned out as she couldn’t help but to fall in love with you.

[guilty-pleasures21]

The last of the real ones

No context, no explanations. Just words and emotions spilling onto my keyboard. Listen to the songs for the full experience.

An only child of the universe

The waves

Wet concrete pt II

This whole damn city

Does your therapist know?

Too good to be true

The only one

Warnings: descriptions of depression and panic attacks.

----------------------------------------------------------

"I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me ..."

9 am: alarm. Don’t hit the snooze button. Get up and open the curtains to let some sunlight in - sunlight makes you happy, she reminded herself as the bright light streamed in through her windows. Make the bed - seeing it in a mess would only put her in a lazy mood for the rest of the day. Shower and brush teeth. And she shouldn’t forget to play the radio on her phone so she wouldn’t have to listen to her thoughts.

9.30 am: breakfast. Two hard-boiled eggs and a cup of hot chocolate to warm her up. And her medication, of course. And the new book she was reading so she wouldn’t have to think about her thoughts - scrolling through her phone would only cause her to spiral down a black hole, so her therapist had advised her to keep it away from her while she had her breakfast. 

10 am: gym. She put her earphones in her bag so she wouldn’t be tempted to drown out her thoughts with more music. Instead, she looked around at her surroundings and focused on all the natural sounds of the world as she made her morning walk. The world is beautiful, she reminded herself, and the world is fine. It will keep spinning, even when you feel like you might die. She forced the corners of her lips up, putting on a small smile as she waited by the traffic light. Her smile stretched wider as she walked into her regular gym and made eye contact with the receptionist. 

     “How was your weekend?” X asked, stopping to engage in conversation - social interactions were good. In small doses, they fulfilled the basic human desire for company. 

     “Ugh!” Stacey groaned, jokingly putting her head in her hands. “My sister and her boyfriend broke up. Again! So I had to stay in making sure she didn’t overdose on trashy rom-coms and ice cream.”

     X snickered at the not-quite-joke and a small smile pulled at the corners of Stacey’s lips. 

     “What about you?” she asked, completing the customary greeting conversation. X’s stomach twisted into a knot and she quickly pushed aside any thoughts she had of … he-who-shall-not-be-named. A joke. Joking was good. Joking made her … less sad. Her therapist had wanted her to open up about him more, in the initial stages of counselling - because talking about him, reliving the good memories, would help her accept … what had happened. Would help her miss him less - but everytime she felt the sound of his name in her mouth, she would break down all over again until Bruce had told the woman that perhaps it was best to just avoid the topic all together. 

     “I … read my new book,” X replied, latching onto the first saving grace that blessed her mind. But now she had to elaborate - it was what was expected, after all. “It’s set in the Victorian era. It’s about this guy who’s actually the illegitimate child of an Earl - this high-ranking nobleman during that time period - and his father’s will says that he has to marry someone by the end of the year in order to claim his inheritance. So, he asks his neighbour to pretend to be his bride. And then they actually end up falling in love!” 

     “Ah, the ‘marriage-of-convenience’ storyline.” Stacey nodded her head knowingly. Then she leaned forward, her eyes alight with excitement. “What’s it called?”

     They chatted a bit more before X finally headed over to the lockers to put her things away. Then she put in her earphones, turned up her music and set to work. 

     She spent the rest of the day going through the usual motions - lunch, library, coffee, dinner with some friends so she wouldn’t be alone with her thoughts for too long - until finally, there was nothing left to keep her from her bed. X opened the door to her apartment and leaned back against it once she’d locked it again, surveying the empty and darkened space. She sucked in a breath and forced a smile onto her face, then turned on the lights and began getting herself ready for bed. 

     But it was still too early for sleep - she needed to maintain a regular sleep schedule, her therapist would always tell her, and minimise her use of the insomnia pills her psychiatrist had given her. X sighed and grabbed her phone as she sank onto the sofa, preparing to scroll through her social media while the television droned on in the background. She thought she was doing fine, distracting herself from the cold silence sneaking around behind her,  waiting for her to look it in the eye and give it permission to devour her whole ... 

     But suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. 

     She dropped her phone onto the cushion and reached for her chest as she doubled over, the panic spreading through her veins and filling up her lungs and nose and eyes and everywhere! It was everywhere and it wouldn’t stop and she couldn’t breathe and it hurt - it hurt, hurt, hurt. It hurt so bad, her heart pounding in her chest in terror, begging to be let out, beating against her ribs as she tried and tried and tried to pull down a breath. Just one breath, just one breath. She fumbled around the sofa, reaching for phone, then she dialled the one person she knew would always pick up, no matter what. 

     “X?” Dick asked, his voice smooth and calm and so, very far away. X gasped into the phone, desperately trying to swallow down whatever air her lungs would permit, and Dick’s voice grew louder. “X, slow down. You’re okay, X, just slow down. You gonna slow down for me? Please?” 

     X nodded and clutched her phone with both hands as she forced her shallow breaths to slow down. She inhaled deeply, allowing the air to enter her lungs naturally rather than trying to pull it down. “J-Jay-”

     “I know, X, I know,” Dick reassured her, his voice soft and gentle and understanding. He understood. He understood and he’d gone through it too and he was okay. He was okay and he would be okay in spite of everything, so maybe she could be okay too. “Can you switch to video for me, X? Can you do that for me, please?” 

     She sucked in another shaky breath, then swiped up on the video button. Dick’s face filled the screen, his lips stretching into a delighted smile when he saw her - because he was happy to see her, even when she was a mess, even when she was a sobbing wreck who couldn’t get over her grief - and immediately, her stomach began slowly trying to untwist itself. 

     “Hey, little nightingale,” he greeted her, no judgement whatsoever in his voice - his calm and understanding voice. “We’re going to do our breathing exercises, okay? I’m going to need you to do them with me, X. Can you do that for me? Please?” 

     X nodded and Dick began narrating the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her. “Okay, let’s breathe in first and count to four. You ready, X? Breathe in, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, out, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four.” 

     X followed his instructions, focusing on nothing but making each breath last for as long as he told her to. They repeated the exercise a few more times until finally, she felt her body stop trying to fight her. Dick waited patiently as she brushed the tears and snot off her face, then he flashed her another one of those understanding smiles. 

     “Hey, we’re okay, right, X?” he asked softly, his tone so reassuring that it chased away any remaining fear that continued to slink around her body. “You and me, together?” 

     ‘Together’. That was what had brought them this far. Pain was always easier when you were dealing with it ‘together’ - when you had someone to share it with sometimes. X nodded in agreement and forced her lips into the smallest of smiles - because smiling also made everything seem just a little less heavy. 

     “You know your big bro’s always going to be here to protect you, right, X?” Dick continued. “I mean, I am kind of the greatest superhero to have ever walked this Earth.” 

     He shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t such a big deal to make such a bold statement, and a soft chuckle fell from X’s lips at his joke. Dick grinned, his smile widening from one of understanding to one of joy - of relief and genuine happiness - and X felt her lips stretch just a little more too. 

     “There’s that smile we all love and fear,” he joked, coaxing another small snicker from X’s lips. “I’m gonna come by tomorrow if you haven’t got anything on. Do you need more candy? You’d better not have finished the last pack I got you! It was supposed to last three months, at least!” 

     X glanced around her living room, studiously avoiding Dick’s gaze as a guilty little smile crossed her lips. “Uh, … I might need just a little more candy? Maybe?” 

     Dick groaned and X’s next laugh was just a little louder than the last one - just a little longer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, little nightingale? I’ll keep my phone on tonight so you can reach me if anything.” 

     “Okay,” X agreed, a wave of gratitude sweeping her up and bathing her in its comforting warmth. “See you tomorrow. Bye, Dick, I love you!” 

     Dick softened at her words. “I love you too, little nightingale.”

Tags: @stormz369

[naturesapphic]

could you do a lady dimitrescu x reader, Alcina helps reader with eating disorder recovery ❤️‍🩹

Headcannons of lady dimitrescu helping her partner recover from her eating disorder

Lady dimitrescu x fem!reader

Warnings: talks of eating disorders, hurt/comfort

- you’ve always had trouble with eating ever since you were young

- you always compared yourself to others

- you didn’t like how your body looked and you felt the urge to change it

- you would go hours without eating or drinking anything

- you had a lot of insecurities and didn’t feel like you deserve to be loved

- some time passed and you were diagnosed with anorexia

- you tried counseling and medication which seemed to work a little but you still didn’t want to eat

- you still felt a certain way about your body and how it looked

- you moved from the u.s. to Romania and that’s how you met your curtain wife, lady dimitrescu

- you met alcina when you walked in the village and got attacked by a lycan

- you saw the castle and decided to go to it, hoping that there would be anyone inside that could help you

- you knocked on the door and a maid opened the door and invited you in quietly

- the quiet didn’t last for long until a loud booming voice was heard

- “maid. Who was at the door?” Alcina stated.

- she walked down the stairs and saw your beaten and scratched up figure

- she didn’t know why or how, but she felt instantly drawn to you

- she ordered her other maids to put you in a guest room and for them to nurse you back to health.

- while the maids mainly did help you get better, alcina would always come check in on you to see how you were doing

- you eventually met her daughters and you instantly felt close to them

- the three children absolutely adored you and you felt the same

- when you were getting better, alcina couldn’t help but notice how you would never finish a cup of water or a little plate of food the maids would make for you

- she didn’t think you were being wasteful no, she thought it was much deeper than that

- when you were better and there for a few months, you got extremely close with alcina

- you eventually told her about your eating disorder and she never judged you

- she said that she will always be there for you and that she will always help you in any way she can

- you also told her about your insecurities about your body

- she was sad that you felt that way but never made you feel bad for feeling the way you do

- she makes sure everyday that you feel loved and comfortable inside and out

- whenever you get really insecure she makes love to you and shows you how much she adores your body and you

- after being there for over a year, alcina kept good on her word and you’ve been eating and drinking better everyday

- after some time, alcina proposed to you and later y’all married

- it was the happiest day of your life when you finally got the family you’ve always wanted

- alcina and the girls still help you with your disorder

- alcina helped you get a therapist that you only went to if you truly felt like it

- she made some technics and plans that helps you with food and liquid

- she kept her promise from day one

- of course you have some good days and some bad, some worse than others but you never stopped trying and neither did alcina

- she loves you for you and that will never change

A/n: As a person who’s had anorexia and is still dealing with the aftermath, just know that it does get better, I have mainly good days but I still have my bad days. Just know that y’all are beautiful in your own way and know that if y’all relate to this that I’m sorry and that I love you. I’m always here for y’all <3 I hope to the person that requested this that I turned this into a head-cannons and I’m so sorry that this took so long. Remember that Christmas/winter requests are still open! And remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!