#mechtyra

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Alex: AITA for leaving Humankind behind and saying I'm not part of it anymore?

Long story short, I was wrongfully ejected from Earth, by the surviving Humans, and landed on a world called Mechtyra. My limbs were eaten by a Rift (Gladrious), and I nearly died upon the crash landing. Mechtyrians found me and saved my life, gave me mechanical limbs, and treated me like one of their own immediately. They accepted me because they realized I was put into a damning position on Earth, and wanted me to know I could live my life in exile there. However!! I came to love Mechtyrians, found they were more understanding than Humans, and they were freely open about sexuality and gender. It was more than I could've hoped for. I found a family with some of them. A boyfriend in one. A brother in their king. A father in the broken God of Light. That God made me into a Demigod, so I could go back and fight Gladrious once and for all and end his plight. But the only reason I did this was because Mechtyra was next to be eaten by him, and so that I could have closure in my own life, not to save Earth itself. The world saw me a tyrant who lead Humans to their deaths. In the end, I was their savior, but who wants to be the savior of a people who ejected him from their world?! So! I don't want to call myself a Human. I call myself Mechtyrian (I am half so by biology now, anyway, since becoming a Demigod). Therefore, I ask. Am I the asshole here?

Rasten: Fuck those blasted Humans! They missed their opportunity to have a GREAT hero. Now, Mechtyra has one. And I'm proud to call that hero my little brother. They're the assholes! Not you! And you keep doing you, baby bro!

Raider: Hoo boy. This is a loaded one... But in the end, no. You are not the asshole at all. They were wrong, and I sincerely hope you get to thrive among your fellow Mechtyrians. We're all rooting for you, Alex!

Slate: Fuck no, you're no asshole! If anything, you're being the asshole to YOURSELF by thinking that's what you are in this situation! Fuck Humans! Fuck Earth!

Xefyr: Every life deserves a chance. Except for those who cross paths with and betray a God. They had it coming. They're the assholes. Not you. Smite their sorry asses, and move on. Oh? No smiting an entire civilization? Ok, sorry then...

Luminous: My son? The asshole?! Never!! Not in a billion lifetimes!!

Gladrious: ... Totally the asshole. He killed me. And all my kids. I was just trying to eat the entire galaxy to survive! Godsforbid a horrifying alien centipede with spider legs, snake jaws, and horns, tries to live a decent life!

Write an r/AmITheAsshole post told from your OC’s perspective. (Bonus: include replies from your other OCs.)

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Luminous, the Lord of Light and Bearer of Sorrow

"Had I not been given light once more, this world—Mechtyra—would still lie within shadow. It is only because I found my suns burning bright within those whom I love that I could touch the skies again." -Luminous

Ok I am SO proud of this design!!!! This is a guy, an ultimate blorbo, who I've had in my head since I was 12 years old but never was able to put an image to. Last night I said fuck it and finally had a shot at designing him in HeroForge!

Luminous is a main character in a novel I'm working on. He's the Mechtyrian god of light, and he created 3 suns for the planet to warm it from above, but his sorrow is so great that no warmth reaches this god until the protagonist, Alex, ignites the flame of hope within Luminous once more by making him realize that love is all around the god, and that people do care about him. This, in turn, leads to Luminous reclaiming his sense of godhood once more, and thus he returns to his place within Ruminia, the realm of Mechtyrian gods.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Me growing up and realizing my robot story is literally how I coped growing into an adult and coming to terms with being disabled, gay, trans, and having PTSD.

In my first draft of Mechtyra, the main character, Alex Sendale, is inside the castle when he suddenly feels his chest tighten, his breathing is restricted, he feels sweaty and hot and cold, and he literally doubles over with emotion, then stands up entirely confused just seconds later, and forgets why he was feeling this way at all. I was around 13 when I wrote that scene, and had never heard the term "panic attack". So I didn't use it, I simply put into great detail what Alex felt and experienced, and how it affected him.

For the entire time leading up to the turning point of the novel, Alex receives nightmares. Constantly. Every time he sleeps. They're of his personal shame, his failures, and the very one who caused them all to happen. This entity haunts Alex relentlessly, and he never feels free, and he fears going to sleep to the point he'll stay awake for days at a time until his body literally collapses in exhaustion and he sleeps against his will. I had no idea these were symptoms of PTSD when I was 12 years old, but it's what I was going through. So without terminology, I once again wrote in extreme detail how Alex experienced fear that pierced his very soul and mind and paralyzed him. And eventually he stands up, he learns to fight back against his personified shame and regret, in the form of the entity that appears in his nightmares each night. The big finish of the novel is Alex facing this thing in reality, alongside his friends, who've helped him all this way to become stronger and learn to fight, and he lands the killing blow, defeating the creature once and for all. This is me defeating my inner demons, and recovering. Saying I won't let the past control me and dictate my future, therein affecting the futures of those around me.

Alex finds his home on Mechtyra, with Mechtyrians, and finds that he relates to them more than Humans. And in multiple stages throughout the novel, he begins transforming into a Mechtyrian himself, until, finally, he takes on the full form of one by the end of the novel. And Humanity looks at him strangely, confused, not understanding his change. Why has this man forsaken what he was born as, to become something so foreign and different? What was wrong with himself before? Some Humans acknowledge Alex's change, and they support him. But most are angry, resentful, and feel he has betrayed them. However, the Mechtyrians embrace Alex completely for everything he is, welcome him home, love him as his truest self wherein Alex is finally satisfied with what he looks like, and he knows there is no mistaking him for what he is. Still, some Humans refuse to say he is really actually a Mechtyrian. He wasn't born this way. He became what he is now. And of course, birth defines the entirety of your identity, and dictates what you are forever regardless of how much you change. This was me coming out as a man, experiencing transphobia. This was my struggle and still is. It's me finding home and safety with the trans community, versus the cisnormative society that we live in.

Alex falls in love with a Mechtyrian who is the best medic on that planet. His name is Xefyr. The two rescue each other in countless ways throughout the novel. Each night, Xefyr appears in Alex's nightmares, and helps him defeat Gladrious, the main villain of the book. But during wake, Alex helps Xefyr come to terms with himself, his responsibilities, and shows Xefyr that he is, in fact, important. Amongst a pantheon of over 100 gods, Xefyr still means something to a lot of people in his life. He matters, and to Alex, he is everything. The two coexist, and literally keep fighting for each other's sake, and well-being, despite wanting to give up and die. Neither can for several reasons. But they learn to fall in love with life and find beauty in it despite the hardships and trauma it's caused. This is me doing the same. Fighting my suicidal thoughts caused by incessant trauma that doesn't go away even years later. I've learned to see the beauty in the small things throughout many years, and to cherish the moments of joy and peace more than I suffer from the hardships of life. Just as Alex and Xefyr look to the future with one another and see hope, I look to my future myself and see light. It may be far away sometimes, but it's there nonetheless.

The entire novel uses the metaphor of light. Alex weaponizes the element of light itself, and uses it to fight back against every enemy that stands in his way, each of which represents something or someone once important to himself, but he shines brighter than the shadows they cast, and he keeps moving forward with the fight until it's over. This is me fighting through everything and everyone who has ever hurt me, and showing I am bigger than them. I am me. I am my own light, my own sun, and I shine to guide myself onto my own path. I am not controlled by those who tried to take hold. I am more than them. I am me.

And I won't say who, but there's a specific character who hurt Alex especially in the novel. And this character, they turn out to be a traitor at one point. It's entirely unexpected, it's not hinted at whatsoever in the current draft, and I don't want to hint at it for any reason. It comes as a surprise to readers, so that they feel the fear and dread Alex feels when he learns this truth as well. Someone who he thought supported and cared for him, and others for that matter, is anything but. And not a soul in the universe suspected this or saw it coming. This is me coping with the people I've lost who were once close to me, VERY close, but they ended up supporting all the horrible world-ending things and working for them to actively hurt people like myself, and basically everyone in the end. It's about the two faces of which you maintain, the one being the face you wear when alone, and the other is that which you wear around anyone else. Only the individual knows their full truth, their ambition and desire and state of being. And it's always a shock when others find this truth about those closest to them, whether for better or worse. But here I vent my horrors of finding the absolute worst about those around me, and how it affects me so deeply and is so unexpected.

Basically in the end, my novel has grown with me. It's become its truest self as I have done the same. It's shown my life as I've grown, and am still growing. Through characters which each hold an aspect of myself, I express my life and my progress, the setbacks and experiences I've been through, and it's helped me come to terms as I've gotten older with who I am and what has made me this way. And I have to wonder what the coming years of rewriting this novel as its current draft will reveal to me about myself.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Mechtyra: Falling to Earth

I officially have the entire showcase of characters for Mechtyra: Falling to Earth!

This book is my absolute love child, it's my magnum opus, and soon I will begin publishing it weekly. After I finish The Forgemasters first.

From left to right, bottom to top you have: King Rasten Xalkrios Alex Fenrir (protagonist/hero) Xefyr Prince Raider Xalkrios Luminous Fenrir Prince Slate Xalkrios Gladrious (antagonist/villain)

The entire novel is a cosmic horror space fantasy, and it's a tale of transness as well as fighting back against mental illness, namely PTSD and depression.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

"Under the same sky of infinite stars, someone looks up at them and asks, "Am I alone?" But the answer is always: "No. I am not." Somewhere, in infinity, where there are countless lives you'll never get to know, there is bound to be a soul that shares the same experience. And for once, you'll know, there are infinite chances to never be alone."

I specifically want this to be the end quote for my novel, Mechtyra, and for Alex to say it. But I can't imagine him physically saying this which is the problem. Having him write it in a journal or something? That's possible, absolutely. But where in the novel do I fit him writing a journal during wartime? Maybe, he'll write it on a piece of paper, then cast it into the waters of Vexus City's well, where he lands when he first arrives when he lands on the planet.

What's a line you really want your OC to say but have never found a good place for?

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

And So Dies Fear Eternal...

Someday. I'll have this novel finished someday…

Until then, I'll keep making random art for it as always.

Mechtyra is a trans allegory depicted by the main character coming into his own slowly by changing forms until he abandons what he was entirely to become a literal god, taking on an entirely new and inhuman form of sheer power and strength. It's also about overcoming PTSD and destroying fear quite literally (that alien thing is supposed to be fear incarnate).

The entire novel is my venting the traumas of being a trans man growing up in an extremely unaccepting environment full of oppression and hate. Because of this, I'd developed PTSD at a young age, but of course you can't quite diagnose that for a child.

So from the age of 12 onward, I recorded my nightmares and night terrors in journals, taking note of the fears which presented vividly, then went ahead and created a novel about Alex Fenrir, a Human man who hated being Human, and sought every possible way to change this. He'd been exiled from Earth, found community with those who were nonhuman, and yet every night Alex suffered such vivid and realistic nightmares that he would sometimes spend days without sleeping since these encounters were unavoidable. And each nightmare featured Gladrious, an incarnated amalgamation of all my fears combined.

In the end, Alex ascends to godhood and abandons his Humanity entirely, becoming a Mechtyrian, wherein he becomes so invigorated with power that he kills Gladrious entirely, and thus dies his terror and fear.

This is the allegory for what freedom I found when I came out as male and took control over myself, presenting constantly as the man I am. I was able to work through therapy and overcome the PTSD I have, destroying it at the roots of my trauma and fear so that my nightmares and night terrors have almost entirely disappeared. I no longer even need mental health medication. It's incredible, having taken control over that which I feared I'd never have again.

But being trans is magical. As some say, transness is akin to the ages-old desire to become god. Well… Alex did become god.

And so am I free as he is.

Credit to MotoTsume on DeviantART for the asteroids!

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Vexus City: Well of Godly Tears

"Thereupon his shattered pyre did Luminous shed his Healing Tears to Mechtyra below for a thousand days without end, drawing forth the living masses to this Well of Godly Tears which formed. From here drank the people, their broken god's sorrow healing all in body and glimmer--the very things which kept them alive. Yet above loomed the lord whom these mortals loved, now a waning radiance. Each day would Mechtyra's three suns rise, yet silent had become the voice of Luminous. In his honor was built Vexus City, surrounding the Well of his Tears. Herein rose the first kings whom ruled with their god's love and hope, and therefore birthed the flourishing planet forged upon sorrow and loss, hope and rebirth." -Myths of Light and Dark volume 1

By the GODS I spent forever on this piece!! Months!!! It took me MONTHS to make this entirely!!

This is a pixel piece I drew for my novel "Mechtyra: Falling to Earth" which I'll publish... someday. I promise. Before I die at least.

Vexus City is the primary setting for the novel, and also where everything truly begins when the main character, a Human named Alex Sendale, is exiled from Earth via ejection pod, and crash-lands within the Well of Godly Tears on Mechtyra. It's here that he is rescued and finds safety, friendship, solace, but the troubles which he believes are behind himself soon catch up.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Feels good to be working on this piece again. Gonna add in some waterfalls and maybe a spaceship. Idk. It's for my novel, Mechtyra: Falling to Earth, as a sort of concept art of what I imagine Vexus City (the main setting) to look like.

I can't really do realism, so when I finally write and publish the novel, I'll have these pixel art pieces inside to show the beauty of the story instead.

Next up I'll do Luminous's Domain, or possibly King Rasten's castle.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

1. Magnus Hjaelmar he/him

2. Entirely spontaneous. I'm a spur of the moment type guy, who loves to just take things as they come. My characters lead the story, and I just put it to the page!

3. Anything by Tolkien, including the LotR films! But if you watch them, PLEASE watch the extended editions!!

4. Trans issues, queer issues in general, and becoming your truest self by becoming something that isn't Human, as an allegory for queer becoming and transgender transitioning.

5. All OC art, and fanart. I'd do screencap redraws, and Google images of characters to draw. But I LOVED designing my own OCs.

6. Rewriting my novel, Mechtyra: Falling to Earth. Writing a 200+ page, 50,000+ word compilation of short stories.

7. In my bedroom where my computer and drawing tablet are. At the park. During classes.

8. Definitely Tolkien!! So much of his writings inspire me as an author, and I aspire to impress him from beyond the grave.

Nosebleed Club Interview

Introduce yourself to your fellow writers / artists in the community (everyone can do this)! This can be a good way to discover other writers / artists as well. Please reblog with your responses

1. Name / Pronouns? 2. How would you describe your approach to writing / creating art? 3. Literature / art / films you’d recommend? 4. What are some themes / imageries you like to explore in your work? 5. What type of art did you make during your childhood? 6. What are you currently working on? 7. Where do you like to write / create art? 8. Which writers / artists (dead or alive) would you like to get coffee / brunch / dinner with?

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Alex Fenrir - demigod of light

"Under the same sky of infinite stars, there is bound to be someone who understands. In an endless universe, there are infinite lives with infinite experiences and infinite questions. And they, too, look up at the very same stars as us and ask, 'Am I alone in this?' But just because we see a sky that looks different from theirs, it's still the same space. The same infinity. And that connects us, however far apart we may be. Every star travels to shed light in different places. Maybe we can do the same someday.” -Alex Fenrir, Mechtyra: Falling to Earth

Finally, after 12 years, I have a design I'm satisfied with for Alex, the main character of my novel that I've been working on for just as long. It's called Mechtyra: Falling to Earth and it's a space fantasy story with cosmic horror subthemes. The story follows Alex, who is banished from Earth, and his ejection pod crash-lands on a strange distant planet called Mechtyra, where mechanical giant beings called Mechtyrians live and have lived for millions of years. Alex is rescued by them and brought to safety, however the man's past troubles eventually catch up. Now he must team up with his newfound friends to defeat an intergalactic threat who terrorizes Alex's nightmares and very existence while trying to consume the entire planet to its core.

I specifically feature every major character in the novel as an emotionally-vulnerable man in different ways, to give them a journey of self-discovery ultimately leading to them learning they must rely on others and be open about how and what they feel to the fullest extent in order to live healthy lives and be good people. This is because Alex himself is a trans FTM man, and the novel will double as a story about transitioning to become one's truest self. But in doing so, he and the other men will exemplify what healthy masculinity truly is and means, as well as how to display it and embrace it, and how it is healthy to maintain vulnerability and openness, versus maintaining toxic masculinity which relies on remaining closed-off and maintaining harmful ideals to the self and especially others, ultimately causing self-destruction and the destruction of others.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I think for my book's primary dedication, I'm going to write:

"To Lindsay <latname>: I knew I could do it without you. :)"

Then in my dedications essays I'll write to thank those who inspired me, I'll write the very final one to her and how I've thrived as my own individual person since leaving her.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Alright. Do I start rewriting Mechtyra for NaNoWriMo?

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Luminous would rant about the Million Years War, and get into all the shit that traumatized him and gave him PTSD and everything, no hesitation. Everything would be about how the universe seemed out to get him, but you can’t argue with an immortal, invincible soul who’s been around since the creation of the universe and has literally all the facts because he’s so traumatized he legit can’t forget any of it.

Likewise, Alex would rant on and on and on about the beginning of the Rift invasions, and how they rose to power on Earth and ate every planet in the solar system, while sliding in facts about how they ruined his entire life and ate his family at a young age, and how he never got to live because of them, and how everything is their fault. And everyone watching would be either fascinated or downright think this man’s insane. Or both. Likely both. Like father, like son. Trauma runs in the family.

Rasten would talk about the regency of Mechtrya, the history of corrupt political rule, how the monarchs who’d been corrupt were slain by the common people, and how, finally, one queen decided to unite all of Mechtyra beneath a common ground of wellbeing for everyone, and go into how he’s carried on that legacy since.

Gladrioius would talk about how his galaxy was full of planets and supernovas until his kind was struck with a hunger beyond what the universe could sustain caused by population increase, and thus, over millions of years, the Rifts consumed those planets and supernovas until the galaxy they lived in was utterly destroyed, so they spread out and found others to consume.

what would your character rant about on drunk history?

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

OCtober Day 7: Cliff

Prompt by @oc-growth-and-development!! :D

Alex learned everything from this wintry cliff. Slate kicked him off its edge, trial-by-fire style, showing the man how to fly. Alex overlooked Kahsus, Mechtyra’s capital, and immediately knew this world would forever be home. Xefyr revealed himself before Alex during the midst of a raging blizzard, kneeling within the cliff’s thick snow almost drowning them both. Luminous taught Alex Mechtyra’s constellations by gazing at them from the lightly-powdered grass during a clear summer night. Alex discovered himself, dangling both legs over the cliff’s rocky edges, asking the Gods where he belonged while begging for family, only to find his place of belonging and family surrounded him already.

And now, beneath starlight, Alex sat upon the cliff once more, grass covered with almost one foot of snow. Winter, the man recognized. Mechtyra’s calendar and seasons still made little sense to him, even after spending a full year there. Although, one Mechtyrian year lasted that of nearly three Earth ones.

How much time had truly passed?

Shaking the question away, Alex simply lay down, body indenting itself within the snow as he looked upon the stars.

Each dot was given the name of some grand figure within Mechtyra’s history. Together, they formed clusters--constellations--those of the Gods for whom they were named. Mechtyra’s Gods considered Themselves one with the people, existing to serve and defend every citizen, and thus, were seen being conglomerated from them directly.

For just one moment, Alex caught a glimpse of the cliff beneath himself, body indented within its thick snow, before he blinked and found his gaze fixated upon the stars above once more. He shuddered, then sat upright.

A perfect outline forging the man’s body, catching his indented limbs, spine, and head, illuminated itself against Mechtyra’s starlight where Alex had lain.

Alex lifted himself off the ground and hovered above the cliff. Turning around, he looked upon his indent against the snow--an absolute perfect copy of himself, flaws and everything. And within it, stars shone their light bouncing off each crystal like the indent itself had become a constellation. Therein, the man smiled. He shifted toward the feet, and dipped a finger into the bottom of each to form small pinholes. Directly below these holes, he scrawled a short text with the Mechtyrian alphabet. Next, he moved toward the hands, repeating this process with new text following suit. His shoulders were third, their texts also differing from the others. Last, Alex placed one hole above his indent’s head, then, using his entire hand, he dug out four large letters with the planet’s alphabet.

Alex shifted away from his indent, and flew high above the cliff. Looking down upon it, he saw the copy of himself, connected by dots each bearing a name:

Xefyr. Luminous. Slate. Raider. Rasten. Gladrious.

Above them all lay the largest of names, conglomerated by each beneath him forming the figure together:

Alex.

A constellation himself, made from everybody who lead Alex into his future, here and now, upon this cliff and free from his confines on Earth.

Knowledge, peace, family, and home, all lay within the cliff and its snow now, just as Alex himself had.

Within this moment, it seemed the stars shone brighter upon the snow. Alex shook this thought away, but the light never faded from his constellation.

This cliff was more than just a mass of land overlooking Mechtyra and its capital. It was the onset of the God of Beginnings, Alex Sendale, forged by his makers who rescued him and taught the man that life is always worth living.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

OCtober Day 15: Myth

Prompt by @oc-growth-and-development!! :D This one is my shortest piece, and didn’t even reach my 500-word minimum, but I love how it turned out with what little I wrote and, thus, I left it beneath the limit. I may change that when I edit all pieces for publishing, however.

Countless legends formed Luminous’s history, living within the citizens of Mechtyra. His own constellation loomed above the world, forged by figures who aspired to exist within this God’s eyes, but fell from their own mortality.

Alex, Rasten, Xefyr, Slate, Raider, all lay mortally before Luminous. Would they someday constitute his constellation as everyone else had? If so, their stars would certainly be brighter than every other.

Especially Alex’s.

The God refused to place further thought into this. His mind, supposedly the pinnacle of creation, feigned beneath the weight of reflection, imagining some few mortals of billions whom he protected, being lost. Why had he chosen them? What made these individuals special compared with everybody else on Mechtyra? Why should a God invest himself in five fragile figures destined for demise? Would each person meaning something to Luminous someday become merely a myth spoken upon the lips of Mechtyrians everywhere?

Luminous paused, this question lingering within his stale, ancient mind.

A myth.

Luminous himself was merely this--a myth. The God slew tyrants and beasts during the Hundred-Millenia-War, freeing Mechtyrians with each valiant swing granting victory upon the lands below wherever he dared step. Scholars wrote Luminous’s every act within novels and scrolls, scrawled them into mountainsides and metal slabs.

But were these victories? Were those Luminous slew truly tyrants? Were these writings true? How could any have been when loss and tyranny still existed as tragedy befell Mechtyra with Gladrious tearing the planet from orbit? Hadn’t Luminous slain every threat plighting the galaxy long beforehand?

These were merely myths spoken by people, not truth. Indeed, darkness still lingered. Myths only made a false image, but truth painted reality red in blood.

Truth existed above all else, reminding Luminous he could fight infinitely to rid the world of evil, but somehow, somewhere, it would continuously arise. And alone, the God remained powerless. Evil stood, a united force, and himself just one man bearing what light the world sought for assurance and hope.

Light, too, must become a united force. How could it, though, when Luminous alone, lived embodying it?

Mortals shared their lives with this God. Someday, they may merge with his constellation, shining bright across Mechtyra’s shadow-stricken nighttime skies, but only because, together, these individuals shared his light with one another in life. Luminous dimmed before the plight across Mechtyra, but only because his glint spread unto others, divvying itself evenly across six bearers who shone before the God.

These others were the light for Luminous.

Luminous was the light for them.

Conglomerated from many’s bright radiances, the God existed amongst his friends, because of their truths:

Light itself is a united force.

Luminous is a united force, never alone.

-Myths of Light and Dark, book 16

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Man I wish I could finish writing Mechtyra already, and release it to the public. It’s such a good story!!!!!