#meat is yucky as is every type of nut

[be-good-to-bugs]

autism likes candy with lots of flavors bc sorting

autism doesnt like candy with lots of flavors bc lots of flavors

[mynameisntburgerpants]

URC log: The Chocolate Argument

Featuring:

@hashslingingcatboy‘s Byron “Burgerpants” Purrish as hashslingingcatboy

@nxcecream‘s Nicola “Nice Cream Guy” Sniffen as BLUEBUNNYBOY

Chrome’s Casey “Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer” Egbert as BubbleBlower

This blog’s own Jonathan “Also Burgerpants” Walsh as grimalkinGreasejockey

This blog’s own Chara “Narcissus” Dreemurr as characteristicAmbidexter

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Names are hard to pick and honestly don't really matter if you think about it BLUEBUNNYBOY: I guess nothing really matters if you think about that, but I digress

hashslingingcatboy: Okay, but what would they have done if they'd had another kid besides Asriel and Chara?

characteristicAmbidexter: Togore.

hashslingingcatboy: Jesus christ.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Name them after other things

characteristicAmbidexter: I will bet you a chocolate bar and two pieces of gold that they would have named them "Togore."

hashslingingcatboy: I have no doubt in my mind, actually. hashslingingcatboy: Don't think we'll ever find out here, though, since King Fluffybuns is kinda dead now.

characteristicAmbidexter: I can ask my instance of him. characteristicAmbidexter: He is hardly technologically inclined and not likely to join this chat, but I can record him and upload the result here. characteristicAmbidexter: But I will need to receive my payment.

BubbleBlower: if you're correct I'd be willing to do a little Teleporting of Materials to and from locations

hashslingingcatboy: Yeah, alright. Think I got some chocolate around here.

characteristicAmbidexter: I am not picky about chocolate as long as you avoid baker's chocolate.

grimalkinGreasejockey: Even white chocolate?

characteristicAmbidexter: =)

grimalkinGreasejockey: You have no standards, Chara. None at all.

hashslingingcatboy: Clearly we aren't exact alternates, because I love white chocolate.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: White chocolate is nasty you fool

hashslingingcatboy: White chocolate cheesecake, man.

characteristicAmbidexter: Nicola, you, specifically, are the wrongest kind of wrong. characteristicAmbidexter: You absolute fool. characteristicAmbidexter: All chocolate is good.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: No I just have standards BLUEBUNNYBOY: If I eat chocolate, I'm eating the good shit

grimalkinGreasejockey: See?! He has my back!

hashslingingcatboy: I love cheesecake even though it makes my stomach feel weird.

grimalkinGreasejockey: Milk chocolate for life.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: YES BLUEBUNNYBOY: Milk chocolate is the best! Especially when in the shape of a bunny!

characteristicAmbidexter: I am not even saying milk chocolate is bad. characteristicAmbidexter: Just that your palates are hilariously narrow.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: White chocolate isn't even chocolate bc it doesn't contain chocolate solids (a.k.a. cocoa powder)

characteristicAmbidexter: Well, what would you call it, then?

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Garbage

BubbleBlower: rude

characteristicAmbidexter: >:(

BLUEBUNNYBOY: There aren't even like any good recipes that include white chocolate BLUEBUNNYBOY: bc it's nasty

characteristicAmbidexter: Because it is meant to stand on its own.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: no

characteristicAmbidexter: There is a time and a place for white chocolate, just like every other kind.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Yes and it's never and nowhere

characteristicAmbidexter: Meet me in the pit, Nicola.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Bring a whiteboard. I will explain this to you.

characteristicAmbidexter: If you had a point worth proving, you would be able to provide your own whiteboard. =)

BLUEBUNNYBOY: No, i don't own one bc I'm not a giant nerd

characteristicAmbidexter: ...

grimalkinGreasejockey: Let me prove Byron and Chara wrong in one simple step. grimalkinGreasejockey: 1. I'm the admin of this chat. grimalkinGreasejockey: Done.

characteristicAmbidexter: >:(

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Listen to him; he's right

hashslingingcatboy: Uh, what do you mean no recipes for white chocolate?

BLUEBUNNYBOY: No good ones at least

BubbleBlower: so is everyone petty

grimalkinGreasejockey: If white chocolate was so good, why does it need the modifier? Why isn't it just chocolate? grimalkinGreasejockey: Ever think of that?

BLUEBUNNYBOY:  I may consume like nothing but ice cream, but I still have standards

characteristicAmbidexter: You could say the same of milk chocolate.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: IT'S NOT EVEN CHOCOLATE

hashslingingcatboy: White chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Yeah those are gross

characteristicAmbidexter: You FOOL.

hashslingingcatboy: It's cocoa BUTTER which is, surprisingly, part of the chocolate source. hashslingingcatboy: Also a great lotion. From what I've been told.

characteristicAmbidexter: Just because it does not contain the solids, that does not mean it is objectively not chocolate.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Get back to me when white chocolate starts containing cocoa powder

hashslingingcatboy: White chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: I can really use lotion bc I'm covered in fur but cool ig BLUEBUNNYBOY: *can't BLUEBUNNYBOY: typing is hard

hashslingingcatboy: White chocolate is literally just chocolate fat and it's delicious.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: No it's gross

characteristicAmbidexter: You shut your mouth.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Never

characteristicAmbidexter: Please.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: No, I

hashslingingcatboy: The fat's where all the flavor is, man, that's why the face steaks are so marbled.

BLUEBUNNYBOY: I'll give you that but white chocolate is still yucky

grimalkinGreasejockey: Chocolate ain't a meat, Byron. grimalkinGreasejockey: Oh! Do you want your chocolate medium rare? grimalkinGreasejockey: That's you, Byron! That’s what you sound like!

BLUEBUNNYBOY: Jon please teach me how to be funny like you

hashslingingcatboy: The point stands!

grimalkinGreasejockey: It really doesn't!

BubbleBlower: hey have you guys considered that this is a stupid thing to argue about.

grimalkinGreasejockey: ...Duh, why do you think we're arguing about it?

[newstfionline]

Armageddon on a Shoestring: Prepare for Disasters Without Destroying Your Budget

The Simple Dollar, 17 Sep 2017

Just before and right after every disaster, you see news coverage of crowded stores, depleted shelves, and interviews with people who don’t have enough (water, batteries, whatever).

Don’t be those people. September is National Preparedness Month, and its theme--”Disasters don’t plan ahead. You can.”--is also the theme of this post. Even if you’re on a tight budget, or living paycheck to paycheck, you should be prepared to live at least three days without basic services.

Should things go south, got any idea how you’d eat, drink, and stay warm until things got back to normal?

Two other things you might not consider until it’s too late:

Where would you and your family go to the bathroom if the power and/or water cut out?

Do you have a manual can opener?

Sound funny? It’s deadly serious. If you don’t have a plan for the potty, your back yard is going to get real foul real fast. (Assuming, that is, that you even have a back yard.) And imagine the frustration of not being able to open up those cans of soup for your hungry household. (Assuming, that is, that you have a way to heat them up.)

The good news: You probably already have a lot of the stuff that Ready.gov suggests you need. The better news is that you can get the rest of it very cheaply, or even for free. And the time to do this is now, before the next power failure, ice storm, blizzard, hurricane, earthquake, or windstorm reshapes your life.

What’s for dinner? The “food” section of Ready.gov suggests the best foods to have on hand: protein- and calorie-rich items with long shelf lives: soups, stews, canned beans, quick-cooking oatmeal, peanut butter, dehydrated foods (e.g., instant mashed potatoes), dried fruit, canned fish or meat, protein or granola bars, and crackers.

To that list I would add almond or other nut butters (not everyone likes peanut butter), some gelatin or instant pudding (a dessert can really brighten the day), Nutella (it’s just fun to eat), interesting foods from the supermarket’s health-food section (hummus, refried beans, even vegetarian taco filling), good-quality bouillon cubes, and hardtack--aka “pilot bread.”

You might already have a lot of the foods you need. Now you just have to keep it that way, i.e., never let your pantry get too bare. When something your household really loves goes on sale, get a few extra. Use a dark marker to write the sell-by date on the front (not the top!) of each food product and make sure they get rotated and replaced regularly.

Pro tip: A site called CouponMom.com does a state-by-state match of coupons, many of them downloadable, to sales in supermarkets, drugstores, and even dollar stores; fairly often you’ll pay nothing at all for food, toiletries, and first-aid supplies.

Should you buy disposable plates and bowls? Residents of hurricane country probably should, since they’re likely to lose water and power regularly. As for others, that’s up to you. If you’re without running water, you certainly shouldn’t use up precious stored water to wash dishes.

Pro tip: Watch clearance sales after major holidays and get up to 90% off paper plates, bowls, and cups. Don’t necessarily throw them out after eating; sometimes the higher-quality stuff can be used more than once.

Water, water everywhere? Ready.gov suggests stashing one gallon per person per day for at least three days. Got pets? Don’t forget some extra agua for them.

Rather than spending money on bottled water, fill empty milk jugs or two-liter soft drink bottles until you have enough. Every few months, use the water in these containers for tasks like watering the garden or doing hand laundry, then refill them with fresh water for storage.

A word to those who filter their water: that sink-mounted or whole-house filtration system won’t do you much good if the power is out or the municipal water supply system is damaged. In that case, have a filtration pitcher and at least one extra cartridge in your emergency kit. (I regularly see these pitchers at thrift shops.)

Or take a simpler route: Sprinkle a little powdered drink mix into each glass of water to disguise the yucky taste. These packets cost about a dime each at Walgreens and dollar stores.

Incidentally, most of us already have a decent amount of water stored--in the water heater.

Sometimes a hot drink is soothing--or even potentially life-saving--in a winter storm emergency. (Hypothermia victims are cold all the way to their innards.) Thus teabags, instant coffee, or cocoa mix are all great things to have on hand.

Pro tip: Whenever you boil water, make enough extra to put into a thermos-type jug.

For hot water you’ll need a safe heat source--and again, you may already have one in the form of a wood stove, camp stove, barbecue grill, hibachi, or burn barrel. While modern gas stoves may not function normally in a power outage, you might be able to use the range the old-fashioned way: lighting the burners with a match.

Any pan you use for heating water or food is likely to get sooty over a fire. Consider looking for an extra pot or two at thrift stores and/or yard sales. (I’ve found three pans that way, including a cast-iron skillet, in the “free” boxes at yard sales; maybe you’ll be that lucky, too.)

Note: It is essential to cook outdoors with grills and open flames, not indoors, due to the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning. Generators pose the same risk. The Orlando Sentinel recently reported that five people died and more than a dozen were injured due to CO poisoning after Hurricane Irma.

Thus if you’re planning to create your own post-emergency power, get a CO detector and follow other best practices suggested by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

A roof over your head. Organizations like FEMA and the American Red Cross may show up after major disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes. But they can’t always help everyone, and some people prefer to shelter in place. Besides, some problems (windstorms, ice storms) don’t necessarily make your home unsafe--just inconvenient.

The questions, then, are how you’ll stay warm or cool. In cool or cold weather, dress everyone in layers: long underwear top and bottom, plus wool socks, extra shirts, fleece layers or sweaters, and knitted caps. The quilts or comforter from your bed might stand in for a sleeping bag.

Pro tip: Plan to have everyone sleep in the same small room for shared heat.

If you don’t have enough warm items for everyone, time to hit the thrift stores and yard sales. For other tips, search online for “staying warm during power failure.”

Keeping cool post-hurricane or during power outages is a real challenge. Some fairly obvious tactics are staying hydrated, wearing light clothing, and avoiding direct sun. Pull the curtains or shades and close off warmer rooms (e.g., the ones with south- and west-facing windows) to keep things from heating up. Sleep in the basement, if you have one (and if you have enough flashlight batteries).

Lighting is an enormous issue with regard both to safety and morale. While plenty of people stock up on candles, the danger of fire is very real. If you must use them, put them in jars set well out of the reach of children, pets, and anyone who might bump into a table.

Flashlights are safer. My partner and I have five headlamps (he bought them in a blister pack at Costco) plus some hand-held torches. If you don’t want to store batteries, look for flashlights that recharge by being cranked or that can recharge via your vehicle’s cigarette lighter.

Where’s the bathroom? As the children’s book says, everybody poops. The question is where you’ll do that.

I grew up in a rural area and we filled buckets and the tub with water when bad weather was predicted, then used that water to flush the toilets when the power went out. That’s still a good idea.

Pro tip: Before filling the tub, thoroughly duct-tape the stopper in place. Otherwise the water may slowly, inexorably seep out.

You may already have a giant bucket (or more than one) left over from a painting job or a bulk buy of laundry soap. If you don’t, get one: It will make a passable toilet. (Check Freecycle and the “free” section of Craigslist.)

Since not everyone is physically capable of squatting over a bucket, look online for toilet seat that snaps onto most five-gallon pails. If you’re flush, so to speak, then splurge on a prefab portable toilet.

Pro tip: Line the bucket with at least one layer of garbage bag, and throw in some clumping cat litter.

You’ll want hand sanitizer for afterwards, and some baby wipes (which I call “shower in a pouch”) to keep the rest of you clean. And speaking of babies: If you’ve got one and you routinely run out of diapers, break yourself of that habit pronto. You don’t want to be down to a couple of didies when trouble starts.

The same is true of pet food and supplies, and prescription medication. Do not run out of these things.

A few more final tips: When severe weather is predicted, boil some or all of the eggs you have. Should the power go out, you’ll have an easy-to-eat protein. Should the power not go out, just about everybody loves deviled eggs.

Buy supplies with gift cards you get by cashing in points from rewards credit cards, or rewards programs, to get gift cards to places like Walmart, Target, and Amazon.

Check out the dollar store. Paper products, hand sanitizer, and some interesting foods can be found there.

Keep small bills on hand. It’s possible that stores won’t be able to process credit or debit cards right away.

Make sure you have matches--even if you aren’t using candles you might need to light a camp stove or hibachi.

Stocking up all at once? Ask the supermarket manager for a discount on buying cases of canned goods, especially the store brand.

Remember how challenging it can be to build and maintain a cash emergency fund? Think of emergency preparedness the same way: It can take some doing, but it’s as essential as financial preparedness.

Get started right now, by taking pen and paper throughout your home to look at what you already have. Then make a list of what you still need, and make creative, frugal plans to get those items. Don’t wait until after an emergency happens to start looking for your flashlight. Or your can opener.