#meanwhile the bobo thing remains a mystery

[spiteful--art]

People Say The Darndest Things! - SAGAU

Synopsis: The Guide of Teyvat is a mysterious, and eccentric individual. A.K.A, The characters react to real shit I've said

Contents: Cursing, Some light Spoilers for Liyue's Archon Quest, Spoilers for Xiao's Story quest, Gender Neutral language, Author's native tongue sprinkled here and there, Lumine is the Traveler in this one

The Guide of Teyvat is a very mysterious figure, indeed. Not very many know of this entity, some saying that Their very existence is debatable, since there would have been some evidence of their doing in the past. However, the multi-colored rain of stars that fall from the heavens dissuades such doubt, as the stars fall and envelope the Guide's vessels. Though the Guide takes in many vessels, their first Vessel, the Traveler known as Lumine, always has Them by her side along with her companion, Paimon.

So it's no wonder that the two travelers would hear the Guide's voice ever once in a while, should They speak up. The first time Lumine heard the Guide's voice, she was taken aback by how young They sounded. Paimon guesses that the Guide is a very new god, having latched onto Lumine when she first met Paimon. Admittedly, Lumine was cautious about this new god, she'd rather her autonomy be left in tact. But as she faced the challenges Mondstadt had thrown at her, she realized that They were rather benevolent, boosting her powers when They could.

Even if They were using other vessels than her, she was quite grateful for Their assistance in her journey.

Which is why during the preparations for the Rite of Parting did she internally thank the Guide for controlling her body. The woman known as Ying'er is... Well, she isn't what she expected from a perfume maker. Under the control of the Guide, her features remained neutral, that which she was extremely grateful for.

"Woman, you are making this entire experience WAY more uncomfortable than it needs to be!" The Guide cried out, Lumine feeling their exasperation as Ying'er talked to them about perfumes. As she wasn't one of the chosen Vessels, she couldn't hear the commentary from the Guide. Which is a good thing.

"Lady we are making perfume, why are you making this so weird..."

Meanwhile, the other vessels could hear the Guide speak. Kaeya and Lisa stifle their laughter, the magician looking up from her teacup in amusement.

"Hmm. I didn't realize making perfume in Liyue was such an ordeal."

Kaeya smirked, crossing his arms as he lets out a chuckle. "Do you suppose that the Guide is interested in courting someone?"

"Which three types of perfumes? Please, I'm sure They would be more sensible than to try that-"

They were cut off by the Guide expressing a noise of discomfort.

"Why do you keep assuming that?! What if we want these because we smell like horseshit?!"

At that remark, Lisa chokes on her tea as Kaeya doubles over in laughter, the Cavalry Captain putting his head in his hand as the other slaps the surface of the table.

In the Angel's Share, Diluc suppresses the urge to grin, wiping down a glass.

Back in Liyue, Lumine puts away the synthesized perfume as Ying'er gives her a wink.

"You, my good madame, have made this entire process way to uncomfortable, good day and we will not be seeing you again!"

With that, Lumine had to agree as she hurried away to a Statue of the Geo Archon.

The disappointment in the Guide's voice was palpable as Lumine and Paimon listened to Starsnatcher's woman disciple, the young lady's voice laced with adoration.

"He told me of a ritual to get my sweetheart back! I'm not entirely sure if it's working, but I know that my fiance will come back to me!"

"Girl, scamero yan! Nagsisinungaling yan sainyo, mga tanga!"

The foreign tongue invades her ears. Though Lumine doesn't fully understand, she makes an educated guess that the Guide is chiding the woman in front of them.

"HAH? BINIGAY NIYA DIN YUNG BUDJET NG KASAL AMPOTA- GIRL TANGA KA! BOBO LAHAT KAYOOOOOO-"

Back in Wanmin Restaurant, Xiangling shoots a concerned look at the ceiling. She hasn't heard the Guide this upset during the time she was under Their control. Perhaps an offering of Almond Tofu might soothe Their ire? Whatever has gotten Them riled up is probably something serious.

High up in the Jade Chamber, Ningguang shakes her head at the unfortunate fools that have caught the Guide's wrath.

"Is anything wrong, Lady Ningguang?" One of her attendants would ask. The Tianquan shakes her head.

"There is nothing wrong, just go back to your business."

Her attendant nods and leaves Ningguang to alone to listen to the Guide scream about scams. Internally, Ningguang smiles.

Back at Bubu Pharmacy, Qiqi tugs at Baizhu's pants.

"What... does 'ampota' mean?"

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 151: The Reason Heroes Wear Capes

Previously on BnHA: Mirio caught up with Overhaul and his final group of henchmen. Overhaul was all, “oh it’s that guy who couldn’t save Eri last time!” and Mirio was all, “that’s why I’m here this time.” Overhaul’s henchmen Sakaki and Nemoto appeared and tried to take out Mirio by giving him vertigo and hitting him with some fresh truth bombs, but Mirio shrugged them both off and kicked their asses. Then he ran over to Overhaul and roundhouse kicked the guy carrying Eri in the face while phasing his foot right through Eri, and Eri went flying out of the guy’s hands and into Mirio’s arms. Overhaul was all, “WHAT THE FUCK,” and Mirio was all, “I know I’m weak!” and the audience was all, “UH, YEAH, NOOOOOOOT REALLY THOUGH.” Anyway, so he caught Eri and was all, “everything’s fine now,” and I can’t fucking believe he’s going to die after all that. Or something else horrible is going to happen to him. I can’t fucking believe it, Mirio. Because right now it sure does look like he’s got this.

Today on BnHA: Overhaul activates his disassembly quirk and shreds the floor into bits and then reassembles it as a bunch of spikes. Mirio is able to phase through them while hoisting Eri out of harm’s way, but he’s super pissed at Overhaul for putting her at risk. Overhaul is unconcerned and says he can just put Eri back together again if she does get hurt, and that he’s done it many times before. Obviously this is the worst thing anyone’s ever said ever, and Mirio is enraged, but between dodging the spikes and dodging the bullets Overhaul’s last henchman Chrono is firing at him, it’s hard for him to fight back. So he wraps up Eri in his cape in order to confuse the bad guys, and then warps over to Chrono and knocks him out. He then punches Overhaul square in the jaw, which has been coming a long time and is super satisfying. As Mirio continues to whale on him, Overhaul has a flashback to when he tried to get his boss to follow his jerk plan and his boss was all, “no thanks that’s fucked up.” Meanwhile Nemoto wakes up in the adjacent hallway, crawls on over, picks up the case of Quirk-be-Gone bullets that Overhaul throws to him, and takes aim.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 183 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

I don’t like this side text

it’s so confident. why you gotta jinx us like that manga

you guys Overhaul is staring at Mirio and Mirio is shaking a bit

I hope that’s a rage/adrenaline tremble. I don’t think it is. but I don’t like him being nervous. but he’s all alone with the Big Bad and now he has this little girl to protect and he already fucked up once and she’s counting on him and he can’t let her down and omggggg. TENSION

Overhaul is beckoning Eri back and threatening to kill Mirio. “how many times must I tell you before you understand?”

hey what the fuck

kay. maybe it is a rage tremble. bc I’m starting to feel the same way just a little. I really need this asshole to never talk to this little girl ever again. Mirio, get her out of there!!

Eri’s panicking but Mirio’s telling her not to listen to him

Overhaul’s continuing to push all of my rage buttons and gggerhfrrrffghk

my god he’s the worst. almost makes Endeavor look like father of the year in comparison

he says Eri is cursed and her actions are destined to kill people. actually he specifically says “every single one of your actions is destined to kill people.” because what better way to keep an innocent child in line than to manipulate her with guilt and fear sdflkhs wow this man is evil

--!!!!!!

OH MY GOD FINALLY

AHHHHHHHH

I LIKE THAT THE TITLE HAS EXCLAMATION POINTS ON IT THIS TIME BECAUSE THEY SEEM APPROPRIATE. MIRIO, RUN

holy SHITTTTT

I HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF OVERHAUL’S QUIRK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

okay, so quick tactical rundown: the main problem here is that Mirio can’t use his ability to its full extent while also carrying Eri. what he should do is put her down for a sec and use his “warp” ability to fuck up Overhaul’s shit real quick. he was insanely fast while he was tearing class 1-A apart, and I feel like he could do it before Overhaul would be able to do any serious harm to Eri

because the thing is, Overhaul can’t kill Eri because she’s his cash cow. but I absolutely believe him capable of hurting her. which is why speed is of the essence

however I don’t think he’s going to be willing to risk it, which is why I think he miiiiiight be screwed

oh hey, Overhaul is casually confirming that yes, he’s totally willing to fuck Eri up if need be

jesus fucking christ. pretty sure you could show this page to fucking All for One and he’d be like, “holy shit that dude’s evil”

like, while Shigaraki Tomura was chilling on a couch on the beach, this guy was torturing a six-year-old and coldly reminding her that if she ever tried to ask someone for help, they would die and it would be her fault

just... I don’t even have words. I feel like Overhaul traveled to BnHA from some seinen manga and doesn’t realize we have certain rules here about what lines it’s okay and not okay to cross

anyway, here’s Mirio’s response to that

like, I obviously feel the same way, and it’s obviously more horrific for him to hear because he’s living it and doesn’t have the luxury of reminding himself it’s fiction. so I don’t blame him

but also I really need him to just keep his cool now omg, because she’s counting on you dude! fff and also I’m counting on you to not die because I love you. and also I really need Eri to not be traumatized anymore because holy shit please protect this sweet angel

anyway, so Overhaul’s continuing to do his Fullmetal Alchemist bullshit, and asking Mirio what he’s going to do if Eri gets hurt. because presumably they, unlike him, are not capable of putting her back together

clearly the only solution is to not let her get hurt!

“you can’t phase your way out of here while holding onto her” fuck me he’s figured it out

we need Aizawa stat. but who knows how long it’ll be before he catches up omg. they were in that maze for five hundred years

aaaaaand Overhaul’s sealed the path with his quirk

okay I feel like now is a good time to call bullshit on Overhaul’s reassembly power. this is too damn much. why is he allowed to reassemble matter in different fucking forms than the original. what the hell is the limit on his power then. you’re telling me Twice has a limit of two copies and Toga has to drink liters of blood in order to get any prolonged use out of her quirk, and here comes fucking Overhaul who can disassemble one thing and reassemble something completely different as long as it’s made from the same material. and he can even do ranged attacks, and he can manipulate this giant fucking room the size of a school gymnasium, and he doesn’t even seem to be tired?? jesus christ

then again, Todoroki Shouto can create a mountain of ice out of literally nothing in like .02 seconds. so maybe I’m really just mad because he’s so damn evil and I need someone to punch him in the face already

anyway, meanwhile this remaining henchman is aiming a gun at Mirio. because apparently he’s still conscious. so now it’s two against one, and they both have ranged attacks, and Mirio’s gonna have to dodge them both while not being able to fully phase his arms or hands

SON OF A BITCH

STOP GIVING HIM POINTERS

now Mirio’s turning around and hiding behind his cape which seems like a really bad idea??

okay first off, that closeup of the gun firing reminded me that guns are always censored in anime, and now I’m wondering how kooky this arc is going to look when it gets animated, because it’s pretty gun-heavy. hmm. gotta go back and see if we’ve had any other scenes with handguns already prior to this arc

(ETA: nothing comes to memory, but I admittedly haven’t gone back to check the anime yet with this in mind)

and second, Mirio’s cape isn’t bulletproof, and all this does is make it so that he can’t see where the bullets are coming from. and if he phases, he risks letting Eri get hit

so like I have no idea what he gains from a move like this. any thoughts??

but anyway he got lucky at least

OH!!!

nice!!!!!!

shit, this is why he’s the hero and I’m the person reading this and running my big mouth. it never occurred to me he could use that to hide Eri so that he could spring this move

and at first I was like WHY DIDN’T HE HIT OVERHAUL, but then I thought maybe that’s not such a good idea to get that close to a guy who can splatter you with a touch

so now I’m thinking he should grab this guy’s discarded gun and fucking shoot Overhaul instead. but I somehow can’t picture him doing that. even though it would be perfect and the safest way to dispatch him and nonlethal while still being poetic justice

but now I see the gun has been knocked away

so on top of being insanely overpowered, Overhaul is also great at thinking on his feet

OH SHIT, AGAIN

HIS TRADEMARK ATTACK FROM BEHIND MOVE! DEKU SAW THROUGH IT, BUT OVERHAUL WASN’T FAST ENOUGH OH SNAP

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE MIRIO PHASED THROUGH HIS HAND AND STILL HIT HIS FACE. I KNOW HE DID THE SAME THING WITH ERI IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, BUT THE TIMING IS STILL UNBELIEVABLE AND IT’S LITERALLY LIFE OR DEATH IF HE DOESN’T GET IT RIGHT

LOOK AT THIS!!!!

I’M READING THIS ON DEC 20TH, SO CHRISTMAS IS STILL FIVE DAYS AWAY, BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THIS IS JUST WHAT I WANTED

I always think of the cape montage from The Incredibles, which is a whole lot of reasons to not wear capes. and meanwhile Mirio gives just this one very specific reason to wear them which I have to assume doesn’t come up very often

but I gotta say, he sells it

the henchman guy is running to pick up his discarded gun. hey Mirio, you wanna warp over here and punch him again

that works too

shit the gun is in pieces now. well at least it can’t be used against him

meanwhile Overhaul is back on his bullshit, but Mirio’s warping again

fuck yessssssss

I KNOW WE JUST SAW THIS, BUT MY GOD, IT’S STILL JUST AS SATISFYING THE SECOND TIME. HELL, MAYBE EVEN BETTER, BECAUSE THIS TIME I KNOW IT’S NOT JUST A ONE-OFF

naturally the other shoe is still waiting to drop though. what’s it gonna be. does Overhaul have a gun of his own? he seems the type who’d do that. or will he catch Mirio off guard somehow?

fuck, I’m getting nervous now. things are going too well

Mirio he’s a germaphobe so you should just sneeze on him. see what happens

Eri’s watching in awe as Mirio screams that Overhaul won’t ever lay a finger on her again

“you lose, Chisaki!!”

what in the hell is this

no amount of sympathetic flashbacks can make me feel sorry for you, dude. I feel fucking confident saying that. I’d wager real life money that I don’t have

present day!Overhaul is telling Mirio not to call him by that name and saying he threw it away

and now we’re flashing back again, but Overhaul is already a young man now

he wasn’t a babyhaul for very long huh

he’s talking to the old boss and they seem to be discussing how the family is getting weaker

Overhaul is requesting the boss to reconsider “the plan I talked to you about before”

but boss isn’t having it

tell that to those assholes who fought Tamaki for like three whole chapters

holy shit the plot is twisting all of a sudden! we’re back in the present!

Nemoto (the truth serum Reborn guy from the previous chapter) is crawling toward Overhaul slowly

I’m sorry, the main takeaway I got from that is that Mirio’s been at it for ten minutes already, and where are Aizawa, Nighteye, and Deku, again??

and Nemoto is having a flashback explaining why he became Overhaul’s right hand man

apparently because other people kept lying to him, and he wanted a friend he could trust. because nothing sums up Overhaul’s general vibe better than ���trustworthy friend”

so now he’s all “I must walk with him!!!”, and I want you all to know that I’m thumping my head on the back of my desk chair and rolling my eyes very exasperatedly. for fuck’s sake where did Overhaul fucking find all of these assholes

and I know I said I wanted Nemoto to stick around, but that was for shipping purposes!!! not Mirio-killing purposes! what the fuck!

what the fuck guys!

you’re telling me Mirio did ALL OF THAT SHIT and yet he couldn’t stop Overhaul from throwing a case of bullets at Nemo?

and Nemo had time to load his fucking gun and everything, and Mirio was what?? just standing there??!

I’m sorry, Mirio. you are so deserving of being the next Symbol of Peace. but it’s not you and it won’t be you, and the reason is that you’re not the main character, and so you don’t have the power of always somehow winning the day no matter what, and shit like this happens to you that you don’t fucking deserve. it’s not you, sweetie. it’s the plot

oh man

 BONUS:

 FA’s doing another omake corner with pages from the character book! 8DDDD just what I needed after this stress

lookit this. lookit

so peaceful. even though Deku’s stressing me out just a tiny bit because who the fuck reads standing up. sit down and relax

then there is a page of Horikoshi being excited over his book, and then a page of the characters as cute little stickers with catchphrases

and I need someone to explain Todoroki’s catchphrase to me. because what

isn’t this the name of Mr. Burns’s teddy bear

like, the others make sense! Deku’s is all “smash!!” and Katsuki’s is “boom!!” and Ochako’s is “float” with a little heart. so now tell me. wtf is bobo. that’s the word my Puerto Rican mom and grandma used for “pacifier” when my siblings and I were little. it’s weirding me the fuck out

(ETA: 

yes google. that’s exactly what I meant. todoroki bring your own beer.)

on an unrelated note, I was wavering on whether to post Aizawa but I think I have to

just because. he has no arms and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

and now we’re moving on to Kirishima and Mina’s profiles, but I’m thinking I’m gonna just do a separate post on the kids’ profiles at some point, so I’ll skip this for now. anyways that was fun

ACTUAL BONUS:

so now here’s the omake from the actual volume!

my takeaway from that paragraph about Sakaki is that Horikoshi is probably always drunk while writing this series and that sure explains a lot

someone needs to smack the Nemoto inside of Horikoshi’s head. fuck the stupid masks. these guys would have been at least 10x more interesting without them (not an exaggeration; the bar was so low that even something as small as that would have improved them drastically)

actually, now I kind of wish he’d gotten to fight Nighteye. salaryman vs salaryman. maybe get Iida in on this too somehow. battle royale