#meanwhile my four year old watched two and a half hours of the wiggles

[recalcitrantlycaffeinated]

DND: session 0.1 (the one where we get a ship)

no, really. No drawn-out six months of real life sessions playing around with rum rations and getting our gear back. Summer campaigns move FAST.

We met in a bar. Specifically, Seamus' bar. The idea was for all of our characters to know each other already to speed things along, but the chaotic tweenager refused to have associated with any of us in the past, so we had to leave it at just being acquaintances who have seen each other in the same bar before. Hex was busking outdoors, Seamus was working the bar, and the rest of us were regular patrons when suddenly the most stereotypical pirate ever stumbled through the doors and repeatedly died on the floor. In-between collapsing he would get out a word or two, but by the end we were mostly just annoyed at him for taking so long.

He had a paper in his hand, and I was going to grab a bar rag to pick it up with, but the paladin had no such fears of untimely death by mysterious paper plague, so he grabbed it. "I hope you don't die, dude" was the first thing I said in character, which was confusing for everyone who does not know me in real life and who was not ready for teenage boy nonsense to happen.

The paper was a treasure map. Seamus knew of a ship we could commandeer, because a smuggler he'd worked with previously was currently in prison and his ship was sitting empty. The paladin immediately took charge of everybody and started ordering everyone around. "As the LEADER of this group..." he said, and so of course I responded, "okay, DAD." This is why I do not remember his character name. My character only ever calls him Dad. There was a lot of squabbling about letting him even have nominal control of the party, during which I stood behind him and mocked him, but he did seem very logical, albeit...moral.

We packed supplies, snuck through the night streets, and made a plan to fool the guards into leaving shift early by stealing uniforms from the fantasy laundromat and impersonating the guards from the next shift. Seamus and I were in charge of the theft. I rolled a Nat 1 for stealth, knocking over a whole stack of clothes, but then started crying about how incompetent I felt and how my mom always does my laundry, so our plan was actually progressing very well...

...until we got back with the uniforms and Hex gleefully announced that while we were gone they had MURDERED EVERYONE WHO HAD WALKED BY. On the one hand, this sufficiently distracted the guards, which allowed me to use thieves' tools and get all the gates in our way unlocked and we did make it onto the ship. But on the other hand, now we're fleeing the authorities with a wanted criminal (who has apparently killed in the THOUSANDS? for FUN?) and I'm getting major flashbacks of having to work around the sea shaman from last campaign.

Side note: several times during the campaign so far, I have patiently waited as everyone else around the table thought about what to do, giving them a full minute before hitting them with "I run through the gate". I felt like this was the right thing to do when the real DM is not there, and they are...not ready...for the lack of forward thinking Traps is about to display in the first session. I mean, we were doing the standard "walk around the ship we are now flying and see what we're working with", and I was pocketing things in the captains' quarters, including a bunch of fancy men's jewelry. We got to a point where the paladin was learning the stats of all the weapons he had found and passing things out and I piped up, "While this is going on, I'm going to attempt to pierce my ears." Can I tell you the SILENCE that followed this. I'm sorry you were not expecting the most logical, spreadsheet-based nerd you know to play an entire idiot!!!

As we were approaching a planet we needed to stop at for fuel or something (ya boi is...not magical...and cannot fly the ship at all), we were told that there was a flesh-colored moon orbiting the planet. Every single one of us failed our perception rolls, so we continued blithely thinking it was a weird moon up until the point where the giant space spider had grabbed our ship with its legs and was dragging us into its mouth, and even after then, we all failed our first attack rolls. The tweenager was understandably concerned that we were all going to die, but I thought it would be HILARIOUS if that was how our session 0 ended. Imagine Miles texting the actual DM "yeah, tonight went great, we all really gelled, I got us onto the ship...it's too bad all of us are dead and we have to start over next week."

But (some would say thankfully) that did not happen! We rallied, cannons and laser pistols were fired, and the spider let us go and fled.

I missed this.

[lala-ladybug]

Healing Hands: Chapter 2

I promise I’m not this fast at writing, I’ve just had the first few chapters laying around for a while lmao. Reblogs are appreciated!!

Jasonette Sword Art Online AU

Read here on AO3

Tag list: @iloontjeboontje 

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Chapter 2: u guys r moding my night :(

There was chaos in the Wayne Manor. This was nothing unusual, of course, and today it even seemed to be surprisingly tame. But it was chaos nonetheless.

Timothy Drake-Wayne careened down the spiral staircase, catching himself with a well-timed front flip handspring, and skidded to a halt in the kitchen. Alfred briefly paused to look up from where he was preparing dough for a batch of homemade pasta, then offered the boy a smile and a greeting.

“Good evening, Master Drake. Dinner won’t be ready for another half-hour, I’m afraid.” Tim had opened his mouth to reply when a growl echoed from the nearby ballroom.

Jason Todd-Wayne sprinted into the kitchen brandishing a nerf gun. “There you are, replacement. You won’t get away with beating me this time.” He pulled back the reloader of the play-gun, making a threatening click ring through the kitchen.

“I’m afraid you are both late to the party,” Alfred calmly announced as he mixed ingredients together. “Miss Cain has been here for the past five minutes.”

Cass Cain-Wayne indeed poked her head out from where she had been perched beneath the bar. She gave her brothers a shit-eating grin and wiggled her fingers as way of a cheeky greeting.

Tim gave a groan as he and Jason begrudgingly handed some money over to their sister. “She cheats.” Cass stuck her tongue out at that. “Besides, racing you here was just an excuse to get my mind off waiting for midnight.”

“And because Alfred is the only one polite enough to actually listen to you rave about that stupid game,” Jason scoffed, sitting down at the bar to watch Alfred work.

“--thought I heard voices in the kitchen, oh there you are, little wing!” Dick Grayson-Wayne’s cheery voice came from the foyer, increasing in pitch as he spotted Jason and swept him up into a tight hug.

Barbara Gordon wheeled herself in not too long after, chuckling at the squirming Jason and delighted older brother.

Meanwhile Tim, who had taken offense to Jason’s insinuation, was reassuring Alfred that if he wanted the boys to leave him be he only ever had to ask. “It’s just that I’m so excited for the launch tonight, and you know B is too busy to hear about it.”

Jason had finally muscled his way out of Dick’s embrace as the latter’s attention focused on his youngest brother. “What launch are you talking about?” Dick asked, giving Cass a side hug.

“Oh, tonight is the release of this new VRMMORPG game called Mindscape!” Tim practically bounced as Dick came over to give him his hug too.

Dick gave Barbara a confused glance. “I know some of those words,” he nodded slowly. “So what’s got you so excited? Video games come out all the time.”

Tim rolled his eyes as he sat down beside Jason on the barstools. “Well yeah, but this game has groundbreaking virtual reality tech. Supposedly, the textures took five years and a team of almost 1000 artists.”

Jason put Tim into a headlock and said casually, “I’m surprised you haven’t heard replacement talking about this yet. He kinda won’t shut up about it.”

Cass nodded her head in solemn agreement while Tim struggled to get out of Jason’s grasp.

“Such are the woes of moving out.” Dick shrugged. “Sounds crash though, got room for one more?”

Tim finally shoved Jason off. “I actually bought enough passes that we can all play if you want,” he gave each of his siblings the biggest puppy-dog eyes he could manage.

Barbara snorted even as Dick pumped his fist in the air beside her. She wheeled herself up to the bar to pinch Jason, who was poised to jab his fingers into Tim’s sides. Jason yelped and glared at her as she said, “Sorry Timmy, I’d rather let someone else be the guinea pig for this new kind of tech. Besides, Dad will worry if I let myself get sucked into pouring too many hours into this.”

“Papa Gordon is a force to be reckoned with,” Dick attested earnestly. “Jay?” he prompted.

“Absolutely not,” Jason answered immediately. Tim was quick to protest. “But why? We could spend more time together! It’ll be good team-building.” Jason’s face soured at that.

Dick leaned in and stage-whispered, “Do I have to tell B to force you into family bonding? You know he’ll make you do it.”

Cass covered her silently laughing mouth with one hand as Jason threw his hands up in the air. “Fine, don’t get Bruce involved. I’ll play your stupid game,” he finally relented. Tim grinned at his win, then cast a hopeful look at Cass.

She pulled a face and signed No thank you. Better things to do than watch VR pornos.

Tim’s face blushed profusely as he opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Jason’s cackling. Even Alfred cracked a smile while he rolled the dough onto the ravioli press.

Once Jason quieted down, Tim crossed his arms and said, “Suit yourself. Looks like it’ll be no-girls-allowed anyway.”

“Guess we’d better tell Cassie that, Timbo,” Dick wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, which Tim elected to ignore.

“Speaking of suits,” Alfred said while seamlessly spreading filling in the ravioli and placing another sheet on top of the press, “aren’t you boys going to miss the premiere if it is indeed at midnight?”

Tim looked imploringly at the two girls. “You wouldn’t be willing to trade shifts for your favorite brother, would you?”

* * *

Wally West strolled out of the zeta tube and into the Justice League’s satellite, known to himself and the other heroes as The Watchtower. He was dressed in a casual NASA t-shirt and jeans, slurping a smoothie, and playing a game on his phone.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made him look up. He was greeted with the sight of his old team, Aqualad, Superboy, Miss Martian, Rocket, Zatanna, and Artemis, waiting impatiently. They were dressed in full hero attire-- he didn’t even realize Artemis still had her costume-- and looked to him expectantly.

“Hey guys, what’s poppin’?” Wally grinned and gave his friends a lazy chin jerk.

“‘What’s poppin’?’ Babe, are you serious? You told us to meet here ASAP for an emergency. So you can tell us what exactly is ‘poppin’.” Ah yes, his Spitfire. Artemis Crock still wasn’t afraid to give him a piece of her mind. But this time it looked like everyone else was on her side too, as they nodded in agreement with her emphatic air quotes.

“Oh, uh yeah, Mindscape is coming out tonight!” He set his smoothie down on the table. “I got us all passes and I’m super stoked for the launch. It’s got this super cool new VR tech that’s basically being released for the first time ever. I got the equipment through my internship, so we’re all set! You guys are totally coming right?” He made finger guns at his increasingly exasperated friends.

Artemis facepalmed. Kaldur’ahm raised his eyebrows in that I’m disappointed in you but I’m not going to say it way of his and said, “Wally, with you and Artemis retired from the life, understand that we took this to be a literal emergency and rushed to your aid. Do not abuse our good intentions.”

“Seriously West, I have a lot on my plate right now!” Rochelle Ervin was also, apparently, a little upset with him. “You could’ve said it was about a dumb game.”

The speedster tried to do damage control with some lighthearted humor. “Hey guys, stay whelmed. I get it, I probably should have given a few more deets about this very-much-not-dumb game, but do you know how many candy bars I had to eat to win these passes?”

“This is why you’ve been spending so much on junk food?” Oh, he was in big trouble with Artemis now. “You probably didn’t have to eat all of them, babe.”

M’gann M’orzz, Connor Kent, and Zatanna Zatara looked similarly annoyed. Well, the girls did. Connor just looked like his usual brand of annoyed, which was honestly a small victory.

“So...” Wally felt a little sheepish now, “who wants in?”

The rest of the group exchanged a look. Artemis was the first to speak up. “Well, you’ve already invested too much of our money in this to turn back now.” She walked up to him and poked a finger at his chest. “But you owe me so many dinners for this.”

He grinned triumphantly. “Deal!”

Rochelle spoke up next. “Me and my plate don’t need any more helpings, thank you very much. I’ll see y’all at the next team reunion!” She flew out through the zeta tube.

Kaldur clapped him on the shoulder. “If you need any assistance, I will be there. But for now I am running Atlantis in Aquaman’s stead while he is off-world, and I must return to my duties.” He then bid the rest of the team farewell and stepped through the zeta tube.

“Haha, he said ‘duties.’” Wally said once he’d left, then winced as Artemis smacked his arm lightly. Lightly for her. Rubbing his arm, he looked imploringly at his other friends.

M’gann and Conner looked deep in a telepathic conversation, which was just awkwardly intense eye contact for onlookers. Zatanna crossed her arms and sighed, “Fine, why not. I didn’t have plans for the weekend anyway. Lead the way to your chocolate factory, Charlie.”

Connor, having caught the tail end of the conversation, looked confused at the reference. He shrugged and said, “I’m in, could be fun.”

M’gann gave her friends an apologetic smile. “Sorry guys, my uncle needs help back on Mars. There’s tensions between the white and green martians again, and he really needs me there to get it under control.”

She gave Connor a peck on the cheek and left to board the nearby Bioship.

“And then there were four,” Wally said with a smile. “Now let’s go make you guys some avatars!”

* * *

Bart Allen could hardly contain his excitement. Scratch that, he couldn’t contain his excitement! “Bouncing off the walls” may be an exaggeration for most people, but he was not most people. Being the grandson of The Flash certainly had its perks, and being able to literally bounce off the walls was one of them.

The cause of his excitement, his friends Timothy Drake-Wayne and Wally West, had just called to ask if Bart wanted extra passes to the premiere of the biggest video game of the decade. And uh, yeah duh he wanted them! He already had one he’d bought for himself, but bringing four extra friends? So totally crash.

He opened up his phone and pulled up the group chat titled Badass Babes.

CrashBandicoot: hey bitchez n babez (u kno who u r), u ready 4 the best videogame of the yr to drop?!

BlueMenace: ese, do you HAVE to type like that?

WonderBabe: yea it’s super annoying

CrashBandicoot: gtta go fast babez

CrashBandicoot: now answer the question

GreenMenace: oh i heard about that! mindscape, right? isn’t it some vr game

CrashBandicoot: yes! nd i got extra tix, so come ovr to cave

GirlBoss: No can do, got research tomorrow!

MaleWife: you always have research bae. sorry little speedster, gotta drive the lady to work

CrashBandicoot: u guys r moding my night :(

BlueMenace: totally not a word but I’ve got you cariño, be there in an hour

WonderBabe: ah what the heck, I’ve got nothing better to do

GreenMenace: always down to whoop ur ass in video games

CrashBandicoot: u wish

CrashBandicoot: roy?

Ginger1 is typing...

WonderBabe: it’ll be fun! more ~mingling~ with kids our age

Ginger2: Hold on, give him some time

Ginger1 is typing...

BlueMenace: Roy, I can pick you up on my way in if you want

Ginger1 has stopped typing.

Ginger2: Um, he says he’ll meet you guys there

Ginger2: He may have destroyed his phone with his “non-typing” hand

GreenMenace: pog

WonderBabe: see u guys soon!

Bart pumped his fist, then ran at top speed to his boyfriend Jaime’s house, where it looked like he was doing homework. Seriously, on a Friday night? Bart had absolutely no qualms about whisking him into his arms and making for the nearest zeta tube.

“Woah Bart, I said I needed an hour!” Jaime protested.

Bart rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but you definitely don’t have anything due tonight, and we have to make your character online before the launch!”

Jaime just looked resigned as they sped into the zeta tube. He knew what he had signed up for.

[yamithediaperdork]

Cutest widdle champion part 2

To say the last 24 hours of Umbraby's life had been interesting would be a understatement. Having gone from one of the most handsome and dashing Starlit angel knights in service of his god he was now now basically a toddler and was learning to deal with the enhanced powers his new form gifted him with, as well as the limits and draw backs.

He was stronger then before of course but that came with a lost of reach, His flying skills were vastly improved and he was a aerial ace now but that had come with a lose of speed and balance while on the ground, due to his new stubby legs and well the thick massive diapers his Goddess (Who insisted on being referred as mommy now, a term and arrange he was rapidly warming up to) had made clear he needed.

As a godly force he had never learned to use the potty and in such a small body well, let's just say he had gone though more then a couple of diaper changes. (he wasn't keeping count though Mommy was, but she was nice and didn't bring it up.)

The other Starlit angel's, those that reminded loyal to their diminished goddess had been confused when she had invited them to meet her new champion. Quick beat, the second in command asking if she was allowed to just abduct a helpless little boy from the mortal plain, and asking if Allimir had been made aware of this.

upon finding out the former head of the knights had been given a promotion and was in fact the cute widdle guy being cradled by the goddess and being bottle fed, all worries were addressed and some chuckles rang out among the knights, as well as comments about how adorable and cute the former captain was.

"Congratulations on your promotion friend. You deserve." Quick beat said, smiling widely and while there was hint of teasing in it, the other angel meant it, and even offered to take over feeding his friend.

well fed and a diaper change later, Lulnyq didn't want there to be any doubts that her chosen form for the new champion was a mistake and also wanted to give her cute widdle champ a chance to adept to combat in his adorable new body and so arranged a series of matches between the starlit angels as Umbraby sat in her lap, sucking his thumb with the winners of each match then getting a chance to spar with the former captain.

Umbraby naturally struggled with the first few matches but before long was dominating the fights, even the one against the now captain of the guard quick beat and sharing a hearty handshake with his friend, a awesome moment somewhat marred by the fact that Umbraby had started to soil himself again and cried for mommy.

deemed ready for his mission he was escorted by Mommy and all his 'brothers and sisters' as he saw them now, Clad in his heroic champions grab and playing with his cloak as mommy worked to prepare a portal to take him to the exact location where her three worshipers were waiting.

"i didn't have a temple in the area the tournament is being held, but the three children you'll be meeting know everything about you and were more then willing to host you. they know about your 'needs' and don't mind handling that so make sure your on your best behavior." Mommy was saying, kneeling down and putting her hands on his shoulders and trying to ignore the soft comments about her ample backside coming from the other starlit angels. "Your representing mommy..heck all of us." She added and kissed Umbraby's forehead.

Maybe it was his small size, maybe it was he'd never actually left the realm before, but Umbraby suddenly felt more like Allimir, as in less of a champion and wanted to cry and toss his arms around his goddess, his mommy and beg to stay. to offer up the role of champion to anyone else.

Mommy clearly could see what he was thinking and gave him anther kiss , this time on his cheek. "You'll be ok little champion. I stocked everything you'll need in your cloak, and you can call upon them as needed. in fact the cloak itself can shape change into a soft and warm blankie should you find yourself missing us."

Reach into the cloak herself she pulled out a soft and cute bat stuffie and offered it to her scared widdle champion who hugged it and seemed to draw courage from it.

"There's a book in there about the other god's and their champions, more about the rules, Your weapon Night Blade and of course the most important thing.." And she paused and winked before finishing. "Lots and LOTS of extra diapers." She giggled and tickled his tummy.

Allimir blushed and went to argue, but one does not merely ignore the tickles of a mommy, let alone a goddess.

with some last words of encouragement from his brothers and sisters, and a last second diaper check from mommy, Allimir/Umbraby took a big breath and stepped into the portal, not quite sure what to expect.

Dwere nibbled on her lip, checking a wall clock. The goddess had said to expect the champion half a hour ago and she couldn't be out of bed much longer as it was nearing the nightly bed check.

14 year's old and average size for her age, she had her long brunette hair loose around her shoulders and was in a light black nightgown with it being so late.

She was a priestess in training at the wayward soul's Orphanage and the only worshiper of the night goddess in the city (or for a good 400 miles around at that)

As a priestess she wanted to be there when Allimir arrived and greet him but at the same time while some of the non priests or priestesses in training were given more leeway on night time wandering (it still wasn't smiled upon) it was a very big nay nay.

"I hope he shows up soon, oh gosh, what if he doesn't show up!? Those papers i forged will be left with no child to prove an-" she started to whine and then suddenly the back of her nightie was lifted and her modest white bloomers were suddenly yanked up between her cheeks and Dwere had to clamp her hands over her mouth to keep from shrieking.

"Relax will ya, he'll git here when he git's here!" Giggled the prankster of the gathered gathers, A dirty blond 4 year old who hair was cut short because she loved to play in the dirty and would get tangled with leaves and the like and this just saved time.

Vivi was her name, and unlike the girl ten years her senior she was clad in just layers of faded white cloth diapers, secured with a oversized safety pin.

She was yanked out from under the nightie by the third and final member of the group, who was chuckling softly and trying and failing to scold Vivi.

Dressed in a pair of tight olive green shorts and a faded white top, his hair was in a semi mohawk and was light grey, contrasting with his light grayish skin as a half drow.

"Vivi, I think we've had this talk before, you can't -snk- just go around yanking on peoples undies." Selen scolded, picking her up and cradling the four year old in his strong despite his slim frame arms.

Dwere turned around, fire in her eyes and Vivi say the wisdom in seeking shelter in the arms of the slightly girlish half drow.

"Gosh, I'm Sooooo sorry Dwere." Vivi said, the words and tone making you think she was but the HUGE grin on her face as the oldest of the three (Selen being 7) glared and yanked at her crack.

And wouldn't you know it, with her back to the area where the champion was suppose to show and a hand digging at her wedige, the portal opened and out came Allimir, who paused for a moment, watching Dwere and tilting his head, then rubbed the back of his head.

"Uh.. Is that how you greet people on the mortal plain?" he asked cutely, and started to turn around and grab at his behind.

"NO!"

One misunderstanding explained later, and introductions made, Allimir had lots of other questions for the trio even as he hugged his stuffie and looked around the room.

"ok..First question.what's with all the mini prison beds in the room and that large table over there?" he asked, pointing at cribs and then a changing table.

"heh, never seen a nursery before?" Vivi asked. "It's where diaper butt like you n me sleep! Those are called cribs, and that's a changing table where they can put you while changing yer diapies." Vivi said, then after a second added. "Oh you'll be bunking with me by the way, but don't think you'll ever out do me when it comes to booms!"

"Vivi! we do NOT challenge a champion of our goddess to a boom boom contest!" Dwere hissed, not for the first time wishing there was a minimal age requirement to worship the goddess.

"Though you gotta admit that would be cute to watch.. from a distance." Selen chimed in.

"I'm sure that the champion of the goddess does NOT go boom boom th-" Dwere started and then was cut off.

"Actually I'm open to any and all challenges, and I was told I was a super duper big boomer by mo- I mean my goddess and fellow Starlit angels." Allimir chimed in and smiled.

"..Can we PLEASE try and get off the topic of boom boom diapers?" Dwere asked, face palming.

"ehehehe sorry. Ok, why so many beds when it's just the three of you, and are you two diapered as well?" Allimir asked, thinking this was just the three kid's home.

"Oh sweetie, this is a orphanage. a nice and open one that that offers training in priest and priestess's and offers training for any religion. they keep a big nursery because you can never be sure HOW many babies they'll have in here. Normally most of the kids here are potty trained by 2 or three at the latest bu-" Selen was explaining when Vivi cut him off

"But who wants to give up AWESOME diapies n' being able to just go whenever fer icky undies and having to sit on a smelly potty?" Vivi giggled.

"..what's a potty?" Allimir asked. " I just learned about getting rid of body waste like, 24 hours ago.."

"And now you being in diapers makes sooo much sense." Dwere said, then wrinkled her nose as a smell started to fill the nursery. "Speaking of.. ok which one of you?"

"heh, if it was ME ya would know it." Vivi said and winked, turning around and wiggling her butt and slapping it.

Allimir meanwhile was hiding his face in his plushie and whining softly.

"I'll handle changing him, you better get moving double time Dwere, it's almost bed check." Selen said, nodding at a clock and goiving over to the changing table, then frowning as he looked in the compartment for diapers.

"oh uh.. yeahhh they hafa wash more diapies because I kinda you know.." Vivi said said sheepishly.

"We CAN NOT leave a champion in stinky diapers!" Dwere whined, panicking and getting ready to offer her Nightie for the cause when Allimir chimed in.

"it's s'ok, I got this." he said, setting his Bat plushie down and then reaching into his cloak as the three mortal watched, eyes going big as saucers and he pulled out a spare diaper. "Mommy looks after me!" he beamed happily.

with the with the champion changed and Vivi seeing she had some serious competition in the nursery, the champ and the brat were put in her crib and quickly conked out, Allimir sucking on his thumb and hugging his stuffie while Vivi hugged a silver fox plushie, though instead of sucking on her own thumb she was sucking on Allimir's.

Dwere made it back to her own room just in time and had to explain why she was so out of breath and getting a lecture on proper behavior for young girls, but otherwise was left alone with cheeks burning red.

Selen was spotted in the halls and started to get a semi lecture on wandering the halls before saying he heard some of the little ones crying and wanted to help out and changed the diapers. Thankful to not have to do the dirty deed themselves, the caretakers who'd caught him let him go with a pat on the head and telling him what a good boy he was.

All was calm and good, at least until the next morning.

Vivi couldn't be sure exactly what time it was, having not bothered to learn how to read anything as of yet, but she was woken up by the panicked screams and whimpers of terror of Allimir and sat up in their crib, rubbing a eye and basking in the morning sunlight.

Despite the crib rail still being up, she was alone in the crib, and as she listened, she could make out the cry's of terror from UNDER the crib and pulled herself up, JUST too short to get out of the crib on her own.

"Allimir? Buddy? what's wrong?" She called out, trying to get her face between the bars so she could look down, though the bar's were JUST too close together.

"S-Something awful and strange is happening! it's some sort of energy attack or something!" Allimir Cried out.

"Huh? I don't see anything.." Vivi said, turning her head towards the window.

All she saw was a bright and sunny day out.

"But..but..it's so bright out there!! What's going on!?!" Allimir whined and whimpered, choking back a sob of terror and doing something else, as the smell reached Vivi.

Ironically it was as the funk reached her it clicked what was going on.

"Heh..hehehehehehehe Allimir that's called daylight. didn't you have that back home?" She giggled, thinking of how silly it was. "Daylight can't hurt you..well as long as your not out in it too long." Vivi added, thinking of the time she had played outside all day and gotten wicked sun burn.

The sniffles slowed down and Allimir slowly came into view, coming out from under the bed and locking his tear filled eyes with Vivi's amused ones.

"Y-You promise?" he asked, hovering in the air, making his diaper droop more then it normally would of as he hiccuped and ran a arm across his eyes.

"Swear by the goddess." Vivi said and gave him a warm smile, then added "but you better get your stinky butt back in here, if a caretaker find your hovering that's gonna be all SORTS of questions."

Allimir nodded slowly and floated back into the crib, though he made a grossed out face as he plopped down on his muddy back side, Just in time as the door opened and in came one of the adults.

"Oh great..anther stinker.. as if there weren't enough of them in here." The balding older man said, rolling his eyes.

"heh, G'morning ta you took Kalect!" Vivi giggled, then turned to Allimir. "That's Kalect and he's the one who gets the pleasure of wiping our BUTTS!"

Hearing the utter delight in Vivi's voice and seeing the older human frown, Allimir couldn't help but break into a fit of toddlerish giggles.

One series of diaper changes later and Allimir was trying to get used to the outfit he'd been dressed in, Mortal clothing was just so weird!

his own clothes had been taken away to be washed,save for the cloak which he had turned into a blankie and the caretaker let him keep with him at least.

but bow he was in a pair of grayish white socks, a white diaper shirt and a pair of shortalls over them, and was trying to adjust to the mortal diapers that just didn't feel right on his sensitive booty and had him wiggling like he had ant's in his pants. (he hadn't told to take out extra diapers when he'd gotten his change the night before and a look from Vivi told him that offering one now might not be a good idea)

"How are you not bugged by how rough this material is!?" Allimir whined for the forth time as Vivi in just her diapers (they had given up long ago on trying to dress her for the most part) snugged.

"I never knew anything else. but hey, your a CHAMP right?" She said, putting a arm around him and pulling him in. "You gotta get used to a little discomfort."

"Ngggh.. I suppose that tr.." Allimir trailed off, as his nostrils flared and then he covered his nose and gagged."whats that awful stench!?! I thought a poopie diaper was bad!" he cried out.

"Heh, this is where all the stupid big kids go tinkle and boom boom. it's called a bathroom." Vivi explained then added. "and NOW you see why I just go in mah diapie."

"Really, I thought that's just because you like tormenting other people." Selen said, coming out and smirking, and getting a raspberry blown at him but no denial from Vivi.

"How's my favorite little pamper packers?" he asked, Bending a knee and drawing both of the diaper butts in for a big hug.

"Eh, We're ok..Right Allimir?" Vivi said the asked, she had agreed to keep his little fit to herself to help him save face.

"Uhh yeah! Totally! no crying fits or hiding under the crib here!" Allimir said, blushing and giving a shaky grin, and making Selen raise a eyebrow.

"where's Dwere?" Vivi asked, trying to change the topic.

"oh she got roped into helping make the morning portage to teach her purity or something like that." Selen said and shrugged. "Anyways, ready for your first taste of mortal food little guy?"

"Yeah!" Allimir said, giggling and holding up his arms to be carried.

To be continued

[nat-roman0ff]

the rest is history

the rest is history

requested

---

word count: 2,390

warnings: banter, terrible memory and uncontrollable fluff.

---

 Shawn remembers the day you first met quite fondly. You, however have always remembered it a little differently. Shawn swears it was his charming nervousness that swept you off your feet immediately. Meanwhile, you were convinced for the first half hour you were talking to him that he was a serial killer; all awkwardly charming, never taking his eyes off of you. Not to mention the glasses that looked like they were decades too old for him to be wearing.

 It was something the two of you could never agree on exactly how it happened. And now, at your engagement party in front of all your friends and family, you were about to share the story of how the two of you first met.

 “That is not how it happened, Shawn,” you roll your eyes. 

 You can’t stop staring at the shiny engagement ring on your finger. Shawn’s cheeks are pink from champagne, and he gulps down the last bit in the flute before turning back to the crowd of people sitting before you.

 “No, no, no,” he waves his hand, “I wrote a song about it! Of course I remember what happened.” 

 Your friends and family laugh around you, and you grab the microphone from Shawn’s hand, “he really does think that he knows everything. For inquiring minds; this is how it all went down.” 

---

 Of course it had to be raining today. The one day you had off from work, the one day you had to get all your errands done, the one day you had to yourself. It’s Sunday, mid summer, and it’s hot and humid as Hell outside. The rain is probably a much needed break in the unbearable weather, but it was just so goddamn inconvenient. 

 You’re already running late, this was of course after the hot water in your apartment stopped working halfway through your shower, getting shampoo in your eyes, stepping in cat puke, and burning your thumb while making breakfast. 

 It was barely noon and you already wanted this day to be over.

 You luckily leave the apartment in one piece, your umbrella barely keeping up with the pouring rain around you. You skip through and over puddles and thank yourself for wearing rain boots today. The first stop of the day was the local book store and coffee shop. It was your favorite place to go, especially when you were feeling a way about life and wanted to unwind. 

 Really, you were just avoiding your responsibilities for the day.

 It’s crowded when you get in. There’s some type of poetry reading happening that has everyone’s attention. You step to the cafe side and wait in line, trying to catch up in the group chat between your friends. Someone’s someone broke up with them and they were ranting about the reasons why. You lock your phone and slide it in the back pocket of your jeans, not bothering to even start with all that drama. 

 “Next,” the drone barista says. 

 You approach the counter, “hi! Medium iced coffee with almond milk, please.” 

 “It’s a grande,” they reply. 

 You raise an eyebrow, “huh?” 

 She points to the board behind her, “it’s not a medium, it’s a grande.” 

 “It’s a whatever I want to fucking call it because I’m the one paying,” you retort. 

 The person behind you in line snorts. You look back and he’s covering his mouth to stifle a laugh, a bemused expression across his face.

 The barista rolls her eyes, “whatever, that’ll be $4.” 

 “It’s normally $3.50.” 

 She squints her eyes, “there’s an upcharge for almond milk.” 

 “Yeah, I know. It’s supposed to be $3.50.” 

 She groans, “ma’am, if you’re so pressed about fifty cents then you probably shouldn’t be in a coffee shop.” 

 “I am not hard pressed for fifty cents,” you plant your hands on your hips, “and I don’t appreciate your attitude. But fine, it’s four dollars,” you mimic in a snotty voice.

 You reach for your wallet in your purse - only to realize it’s not there. 

 “Shit,” you mutter under your breath, “forget it, I must have left my wallet at home -” 

 “I’ve got it,” the guy behind you places his card on the counter, “I’ll take a medium black hot coffee.” 

 The barista rolls her eyes, “it’s a grande.” 

 The guy smiles, “I know.” 

 She turns to make the drinks and you take a step to the side, “thanks,” you mutter, “I’ll have to Venmo it to you or something.” 

 He shrugs, “don’t worry about it.”

 You’re both silent as you wait together at the end of the counter for your drinks. He adjusts the glasses on his face and you can’t help but feel like you’ve seen him somewhere before but can’t make the connection where. There’s an S-shaped curl that hangs in front of his face, like it’s meant to be there but really isn’t. 

 The barista practically slams the drinks on the counter before muttering, “have a nice day,” in her droll voice.

 “It must be exhausting to be that miserable,” You mutter under your breath.

 He hears you and chuckles, blowing on the little hole in the top of his coffee cup. 

 “Sorry, I’m not usually like this, I swear,” you apologize, “it’s just been a day.” 

 “It’s eleven thirty in the morning,” he deadpans. 

 Your eyes narrow, “it’s been a rough morning.” 

 You slide into the seat of the small bistro table beside you and take a sip of your coffee, “oh course this has fucking cream in it. Stupid Bitch -” 

 “What are you doing here this fine Sunday morning?” He asks, grinning across the table from you.

 You glare at him, “honestly? Nothing. Avoiding life probably. What about you? Frequent the bookstore often? I feel like I’ve seen you before.” 

 “Probably have,” he says, “I’m Shawn,” he reaches over the table to shake your hand. 

 “Charmed, I’m y/n.” you return the handshake, “why are you drinking hot coffee on a ninety degree day, are you a serial killer?” 

 Shawn bobs his head from side to side, “surprisingly no, although I do share many of the same qualities as most.” 

 “That’s unsettling.” 

 He leans forward, “I’m also really bad at flirting.” 

 You grit your teeth, “oh ouch, that’s what that was? Oh honey…”, you place your hand over your heart.

 Shawn bows his head, “that bad, huh?” 

 “The serial killer vibes were high, I thought you were going to stab me in the neck with a spork or something.” 

 “You’re funny,” Shawn replies. 

 “It’s mostly a defense mechanism,” you pip.

 He raises an eyebrow, “from what?” 

 You take a sip of your drink, “guys in bookstore coffee shops that act like serial killers. Those glasses are straight up Jeffrey Dahmer style, my friend.”

 “Are you always like this?” He asks.

 Your brows scrunch together, “like what?” 

 “You just...I don’t know. It’s like you have an answer for everything. You always have to be the one that has the better last word.” 

 You scoff, “okay, Weirdo. You’ve known me for five minutes.”

 “Maybe I’ve known you your whole like and you’re now just meeting me.” 

 You lean forward and he follows, “you see, that is some shit a serial killer would say,” you reach for your bag and stand, “have a nice day, Weirdo. Thanks for the coffee.” 

 You’ve almost reached the other side of the bookstore when you pass the magazine rack. A familiar face graces one of the covers; it’s Shawn. That little aha! moment happens in your head and you pick up the magazine, holding it in your sightline to compare to Shawn who is still sitting in the coffee shop section of the store. 

 You look back and forth a few times before deciding to go back over. It doesn’t take long for you to cross the length of the store back to him and return to your seat. 

 “I know who you are,” you say, plopping your coffee and purse on the table. 

 “Now who’s the serial killer?” Shawn quips.

 “You’re the Shawn Mendes,” you wiggle your fingers for extra emphasis. 

 Shawn gulps, “you didn’t have to use the spirit fingers.” 

 “I’ve been to one of your concerts. My sister got so excited when you came on stage that she threw up all over herself and we had to go home. I want my seventy-five bucks back,” you jab sarcastically.

 “Only roughly eighteen more coffees to go,” Shawn winks.

 You fold your arms across your chest and lean back, staring at him, testing him. You have so many questions and you’d never met anyone famous before but he just seemed too goddamn normal to be a celebrity. Maybe that’s why people liked him so much.

 “Now that that’s over with,” he starts, “what do you want to do next?” 

 You purse your lips together, “sometimes when I need a good pick me up, I head to the Health and Wellness section to find the sex books and laugh at them.” 

 Shawn snorts, “what are you, five?” 

 “Are you in or not?” 

 “I was going to be in regardless of what you said I just didn’t want to be the one that made the plans,” he confesses.

 You stand and roll your eyes, “c’mon!”

 A half hour later you’re in the stacks of the Sex Health section and trying to stifle your laughter with your hands. It’s childish, and ridiculous but you can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard. You also can’t remember the last time you heard a book title as hilarious as Penis Genius.

 “I want that tattooed on my forehead,” you giggle. 

 Shawn covers his mouth with his hand, “I’d pay you so much money to do that.” 

 It’s then that you notice how close together your bodies are, your knee is resting against his thigh and his shoulder brushes yours every time he takes a deep breath. You feel oddly relaxed around him, like you’re spending time with an old friend instead of someone you’ve barely known an hour.

 The laughter dies down and you catch him looking at you. It’s not an uncomfortable glare, it’s not like he’s staring to try and figure out what you look like under your clothes. He’s watching to mark your tics, to memorize the wrinkles in your face and searches his brain to try and find a way to describe the color of your eyes. 

 Or, at least years later that’s what he’ll claim he was doing.

 It doesn’t make you uneasy, and you find yourself drifting closer to him despite the already limited space between the two of you. Your faces are so close you can feel his breath fan your skin, his eyes closing as he draws nearer. 

 “Do you always wear these glasses?” You ask, plucking them off his face.

 Shawn’s left stunned as you lean away from him and put on the frames, “dude they’re fake?! Worst disguise ever, Mendes.”

 “Oh so now we’re on a last name basis?” He asks.

 You nod your head and push the glasses up the bridge of your nose, “guess so. Why do you wear them?” 

 “A defense mechanism,” he deadpans, but can’t hide a creeping smirk.

 “From what?” 

 “Folks tend to stay away from people who look like they’ll axe murder their whole family.” 

 You suck the last of your coffee from the straw, “that’s very true.” 

 “I’m glad it didn’t work on you though,” he smiles.

 Your heart is still fluttering from the almost-kiss. You can see the red in Shawn’s cheeks deepen, like he was embarrassed at what almost happened. You’re not usually this flighty - to meet a stranger in a bookstore and decide to try and make out with them within the same hour. It just felt, different with Shawn. It was a type of comfort with another human being you didn’t know existed. 

 Soulmates, is what he would end up telling you on your first anniversary. 

 “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” Shawn asks, pulling the glasses off of your face and putting them back on his own. 

 “I did.” 

 Shawn raises an eyebrow, “and now what?” 

 “Want to come over?” You blurt out, “and like...I don’t know watch a movie or something? It’s a shitty day out,” your eyes avoid everything but him, “sorry you probably already have plans-” 

 “I’d love to.” 

 You look up and he’s grinning wide at you, his honey brown eyes sparkling and that stupid little S-curl that you’ll eventually grow to love handing in his face, “really?” 

 He nods, “of course. Only if we get to watch shitty scary movies though. Truly the best thing to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” 

 You clutch your chest, “be still my cold beating heart, I wouldn’t have suggested anything less.” 

 Shawn chuckles and stands, offering you his hand. He pulls a little too hard and you crash into him, causing him to stumble backwards into the bookshelf. Once he steadies himself he wraps an arm around you.

 Neither of you speak on your way out. Ever the gentleman, he holds the door open for you when you leave. It’s raining harder now, and the two of you do your best to huddle under your small umbrella. You walk the couple blocks to your apartment not really saying much. There’s a weird anticipation in the air and you keep catching him taking fleeting glances at you when you aren’t paying attention. His pinky hooks with yours a couple times. It’s not quite to hold your hand, but more so to say hey, I’m here. 

 When the two of you reach your building, Shawn stops you before you take the first step onto the stoop. 

 “What?” You turn, he has his hand on your arm. 

 He takes a step closer, the step helping the height difference between the two of you now at face level. Shawn lets the umbrella drop but you’re too focused on the intensity in his eyes to care about getting soaking wet. His hand is gentle as it holds your face. 

 “I’ve never met someone like you before,” he says, the rain causing his hair to stick to the sides of his face. 

 “Ditto.” Is all you can manage. 

 Shawn leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss, and the rest is history.

[crookedlyoptimisticdestiny]

Best Friends

Tell me if you wanna be tagged!!

Summary: Human AU, The day started out like any other, but what happens when the Sanders quadruplets are faced with a horrifying road bump while at daycare? Notes: The sides are 5, and Virgil has a lisp Pairings: Familial LAMP Warnings: One (1) swear, panic attack, choking, mentions an eating disorder Word Count: ~2450 words Read on Wattpad My Masterlist

The Sanders quadruplets had a routine, and they always stuck to it.

Wake up around 6:30, have breakfast at 7, get ready for the day, and head over to daycare at 8.

Once at daycare, the four did everything together. They played the same games, ate lunch and snack at their own little table, and, during nap time, they all slept in a giant pile.

Around 4:30, their father picked them up, and they spent the entire car ride plus dinner explaining everything they did. Roman and Patton did most of the explaining, as Roman was very dramatic and Patton was the bubbliest of the bunch.

Logan would chime in every so often to correct Roman and Patton when they got a little too carried away. He was the more grounded of the four, and he often helped reign Roman and Patton in at daycare.

Virgil would only speak when he was directly asked something, and, even then, he only gave one or two worded responses. He had always been the quietest of the four, but that was just his personality.

///

Roman was always the first to wake up, usually around 6:30, and he always started singing within five minutes of being awake. Each day he sang a different Disney song, because, even though he was five, he had an impeccable memory when it came to songs.

His singing always woke the other three, who differed in their level of annoyance.

Patton was always the most excited to hear Roman singing, and he often joined in when he knew the song. Logan... tolerated the singing, although he had made it known many times that Roman should be more considerate of the others.

And Virgil? Let's just say that he didn't appreciate Roman's daily eccentricities.

///

The day started out like any other. Roman woke up a little after 6:30. Sitting up in the twin sized bed he shared with Patton, he wrapped his red and white blanket around his shoulders and immediately started singing I'll Make A Man Out Of You, although it was quite off-key, considering that he was five. They had watched Mulan the previous evening, so the songs were still fresh in Roman's head.

Within seconds, Patton was awake, and he didn't hesitate to join Roman in singing. Instead of sitting up like Roman, Patton remained laying down on the bed, buried in the warmth of his pale blue and grey blanket, his favorite stuffed animal—a small black and grey kitten—held tight against his chest.

It wasn't too long before Logan was awoken by Patton and Roman's singing. Instead of joining them, he chose simply sit up and continue working on a Rubix Cube that was placed next to the bed he shared with Virgil, his dark blue blanket spread over his legs.

As always, Virgil was the last one to wake up, but he didn't make it known at first. Instead, he sneakily grabbed one edge of his pillow. He waited a few seconds before chucking the pillow at Roman's head.

"Roman!!" Virgil groaned from where he laid. "Why do you thing tho much?"

"Because," Roman exclaimed, stretching his arms wide. "Singing is a marvelous thing to do!!"

Virgil rolled his eyes before sitting up. "But ith tho loud."

"I do agree with Virgil," Logan said from where he was sitting. "It is rather loud, and it is not always pleasant to be woken up by singing."

Roman gasped and placed a hand on his chest. "Are you calling my singing annoying? How dare you!"

"Guys," Patton whined. "Don't fight. We gotta go have breakfast!"

Just as Patton finished, the door to their room opened, revealing their father, Thomas.

"I see you boys are all up on time," he grinned, looking at all four before focusing on Virgil and Logan. "I hope Roman wasn't too loud today."

The two boys smirked, looking at each other, and remembered what the two of them had talked about the night prior.

"Oh, he wasn't too loud, Father," Logan said, turning back to Thomas. "It was more the pitch that bothered us."

At his son's response, Thomas burst out laughing, along with three of the four quadruplets. Logan and Virgil shared a discreet fist bump. Meanwhile Roman sat on his bed, mouth hanging open and both his hands over his heart.

"I am deeply offended," he said to Logan. "You just don't appreciate how wonderful Disney is. I don't think I've ever yeard you try to sing."

"I simply prefer to spare myself the embarrassment," Logan retorted, leaning over to grab his glasses off of the table by his bed. Once he had put the glasses on, he turned to Thomas. "Is breakfast ready, Father?"

"Yes, it is," Thomas said, opening the door wide. "I made pancakes."

Upon hearing that breakfast was ready, Roman, Logan, and Virgil all climbed out of bed and headed for the door, but, when he heard "pancakes," Patton jumped out of bed and raced for the door. Before he could leave the room, Thomas scooped him up around his waist, letting the others file out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Whoa there, bud," he chuckled. "What have I told you about leaving without your glasses?"

Patton giggled, looking down at the floor. "That I need to wear them or else I'll run into everything."

"Ding ding ding!" Thomas said, setting the five-year-old down to get his glasses.

Patton quickly scrambled over to his bed, grabbing his pair of glasses and putting them in place. As soon as they were on, he ran back over to Thomas, who picked him up again and carried him to the kitchen. The two of them were just in time to see Roman fling a blueberry at Virgil, who was holding a spoon up in defense while Logan tried to make a catapult with his silverware.

"Boys!" Thomas called, and the three of them immediately froze.

"He thtarted it," Virgil called out, pointing at Roman. "He threw a rathpberry at me."

"But they threw a strawberry back at me!" Roman cried, waving a hand at Virgil and Logan while pouting in his chair.

Thomas glanced between the three of them. Roman looked like the most heinous crime had been committed against him. Meanwhile, Logan and Virgil both looked like they were trying not to laugh.

"Oh, my," Thomas sighed to himself, setting down Patton, who immediately scrambled to get in his chair. "It doesn't matter who started it. Just eat your pancakes."

With that, the tension was diffused, and the five-year-olds were eagerly digging into the pancakes in front of them. Thomas chuckled at their antics and ate the bowl of cereal he had made for himself at the island.

About five minutes into breakfast, Virgil, who had barely eaten any of his breakfast, got up from his chair and trudged over to Thomas.

"Daddy?" He asked tugging on Thomas' pant leg.

"Yes, Storm Cloud?" Thomas responded, picking Virgil up and setting him on his lap.

Virgil didn't respond at first, but, after a few seconds of twidling his thumbs, Virgil leaned closer to Thomas so that he would be the only one to hear what he said.

"I'm not hungry," Virgil whispered and immediately hid his face in his father's shoulder.

Thomas wrapped his arms around Virgil in a hug and rubbed his back softly.

"Are you not hungry, or do you not want to eat?" Thomas asked quietly. One of his high school friends had struggled with an eating disorder for a few years, so Thomas' mind immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios.

"'M not hungry," Virgil whispered, still hiding his face in Thomas' neck.

"That's alright squirt," Thomas whispered back, giving Virgil a quick squeeze. "I'll just tell Joan and Talyn that you didn't have a big breakfast. That way they'll have a bit of a head's up if you're starving at lunch."

At the mention of Joan and Talyn, a pair of Thomas' friends that ran the small daycare in their house that the quadruplets went to, Virgil immediately perked up. When Thomas saw Virgil perk up, he smiled, glad that his children got along with his close friends so well.

While the two of them were talking, Patton, Roman, and Logan had all finished their pancakes. Surprisingly, only two more pieces of fruit were thrown during that time. As Logan and Roman went to their room to get dressed, Patton ran up to Thomas and Virgil.

"Virgil!" Patton called, tugging on the sleeve of his brother's shirt. "We gotta go get dressed so we can see Joan and Talyn!"

Smiling, Virgil wiggled out of Thomas' arms and slid down onto the floor. Patton immediately grabbed his hand, and they ran back to their room.

///

About 5 hours later, the quadruplets were finishing their lunch at their private table. Virgil, having a strong liking for strawberries, noticed that Roman had a few more left on his plate. While Roman was looking the other way, he leaned across the table, snatching one of the strawberries and quickly shoving it in his mouth.

"Hey!" Roman cried, seeing what Virgil had done. "That was my strawberry!"

Virgil noticed Roman start to stand up, and he knew he was doomed. In an instant, Virgil was also up and running away from Roman.

As Virgil ran from the kitchen to the living room, he glanced over his shoulder to see where Roman was.

As he did, Roman's eyes widened and he called out, "VIRGIL! Look out!!"

But he was too late. Virgil hadn't been able to see that there was a toy right in his path, and he tripped and fell. The impact from the fall caused the half-eaten strawberry in his mouth to become lodged in his airway.

From their spots at the table, Logan and Patton had been watching Roman chase Virgil, but, upon seeing Virgil fall, they raced out of their chairs and over to where Roman was crouched over him.

When they got there, Virgil was gesturing to his throat and wheezing slightly. Logan immediately kneeled down next to him.

"Virgil!" he said calmly. "Can you tell us what's wrong?"

Virgil frantically shook his head and pointed to his throat.

"Fuck," Patton yelled. "Guys, he's choking! We gotta do the Heimlich!"

Both Roman and Logan turned to Patton, shocked that he had sworn.

Choosing to ignore it, Roman quickly asked, "What's the Heimlich?"

"No time to explain!" Logan cried, turning back to Virgil and helping him stand up.

Patton stood behind Vigil, placing one hand just under his ribcage in a fist and grabbing it with the other. Patton immediately started squeezing Virgil, trying to get the strawberry out.

After just a few squeezes, they all heard Virgil take a deep breath and proceed to cough up the strawberry.

Immediately, Patton jumped away from Virgil, hands held out in front of him. He stared at his hands, trying to process what had just happened. His brother had been choking, and he had used the Heimlich to save him.

Patton didn't even realize that he had started to shake or that his breathing had gotten shallow. He was too focused on the fact that his brother could have died.

Before he knew it, tears were slowly crawling down his face while he gasped for breath. He had sunk to his knees on the floor, his arms wrapped around his stomach to try and make himself stop shaking.

Virgil, who was in the middle of being smothered in hugs and questions, saw Patton kneeling, and was instantly concerned when he saw the tears.

Extricating himself from the group hug, he walked over to Patton, who was too out of it to notice his approach.

Kneeling in front of Patton, Virgil placed his hands on his shoulders. The contact made Patton look up, but seeing Virgil only caused him to cry more.

"Patton?" Virgil asked timidly, causing the other boy to look up again. "What'th wrong?"

"Y-y-you c-could ha-have died, V-Virgil!" Patton sobbed, curling in on himself. "Y-you c-could ha-have d-died i-if... i-if I..."

More tears prevented Patton from finishing his sentence, but Virgil could tell what he was trying to say.

"But, Pat," Virgil said, pulling him into a hug. Patton immediately clung to him in a death grip. "I didn't die. I'm okay, and it'th cauth of you."

Patton nodded weakly, but he didn't speak.

When Virgil had left the group hug to check on Patton, Roman and Logan had stood by, allowing the two of them to have their moment. After they saw Virgil hug Patton, they walked over and joined the hug on either side of Patton and Virgil.

It took a few minutes, but Patton eventually stopped crying. When he had, he pulled back from the hug to wipe the remaining tears off his face. While doing so, he saw Joan and Talyn watching the four of them from the edge of the room. Joan had their phone out and looked like they were waiting for someone to either text them or call them. Talyn looked like they were about to pass out.

When Patton had pulled back from the hug, Logan took that time to glance at the watch he had gotten for the previous Christmas.

"Guys," he said, gaining his brothers' attention. "It's nap time. Should we go to our spot?"

The three other boys agreed, and they all helped each other get up off the floor. They headed to the couch in the other corner of the living room, which was their designated spot for nap time.

Climbing onto the couch, the four of them laid down in a heap, limbs everywhere. None of them cared though, not even when Virgil elbowed Roman in the stomach.

They were just glad that they were still a group of four best friends.

Bonus scene: After seeing the quadruplets head over to the couch, Talyn pulled Joan into the kitchen by their arm.

"That's why I don't want you cursing like a sailor in front of the kids!!" Talyn scolded, arms crossed in front of their chest as they turned to face Joan.

"What's why you don't want me cursing?" Joan asked, confused about what Talyn was talking about.

"Patton swore! Didn't you hear him?!?!" Talyn whisper yelled, not wanting to wake the kids.

"Yeah, I heard him," Joan said. "But I don't see why it's a huge deal."

Talyn rolled their eyes, unable to believe what Joan just said.

"Good for you," they replied, starting to walk out of the room. "But you're gonna have to explain to Thomas when he asks why his five-year-old is swearing."

Taglist:

@patton-is-here-to-love

[snarky-badger]

Ultron prompt: reader gets into a friendly chat online and makes friends with them after a while, only to start noticing odd things start to happen: out of nowhere money deposits in their bank account, gifts showing up when they know they didn't order anything, etc, until late one night someone shows up unannounced in their living room

I spent two days on this anon! It’s longer than usual, I just couldn’t stop writing. Am open to even writing a sequel if you like this one enough and request one. I hope it’s to your liking!

Words/Sentences between [these] are chat conversations.

You groaned as you shuffled into your room, grimacing as you dumped your heavy backpack onto the floor with a thud. Noise from your roommates made you kick your door shut, shoulders slumping when the bickering faded to a dull mumble.

It had been a long day. You were in the middle of a twenty-four week long Auto Mechanics course. And that was just for cars and trucks. If you wanted to push further, you’d need another course to qualify to work on Big Rigs, and another for Construction Vehicles, like dump trucks and front loaders.

Your dream however, was racing cars. Any racing cars. Drag racing, Nascar, anything, hell, even big rig racing. And for that, you needed a lot of training. You’d have to work up from mere cars to more powerful engines.

You’d become enamored with mechanics when you’d been young and watching your father work on his old Plymouth Barracuda. He’d been able to take it apart, clean it, and put it back together, almost with his eyes closed. He’d taught you everything he’d known, of course, but that wasn’t enough. You needed a degree, and proper training.

Proper training that cost an arm a leg and half a liver. It was why you were sharing an old, run down, house with three others. Cheaper than Campus Apartments, though paying your way through University and covering rent still forced you to shop at a dollar store for food.

You were lucky in the fact that you had a part-time job at a mechanic downtown. The elderly man had been more than willing to take you on as an apprentice, and was always welcoming to your endless questions when you hadn’t quite understood something in class.

Added to the general stress of things was the fact that you were the only female in a class and occupation mostly dominated by men. The jeers and bullying and sexist comments from your fellow ‘students’ were murder on your psyche, self-esteem and general ability to not beat someone over the head with a wrench.

Judging that the fighting outside your door was about the cleanliness, or lack thereof, of the fridge, you grabbed up a change of clothes and booked it to the shower. It was a short one - ten minutes, timed. Everyone in the house was trying to save money, and that included taking short showers, living on more Ramen than was healthy, and keeping the temperature of the house low to save funds on power. Well, as much as all of you could, considering that all of you had laptops and were Netflix addicts.

It took almost five minutes to get the grime out from under your fingernails, but you were as clean as you could be by the end of the shower. You rushed back into your room, shivering from the cool water, and quickly donned some jogging pants and a tank top that had a Wonder Woman logo on it.

A chime from your phone drew your attention, and you idly checked the message, smiling a little when you saw who it was.

It had started completely by accident. You’d been in a chat, throwing ideas back and forth with a group of people about Nascar engines and how to increase performance when someone had popped in and noted that using a cleaner fuel or incorporating a catalytic converter would save on the disgustingly high emissions each car poured out per race.

Others had booed and tried to kick the person off, you’d been intrigued and opened a separate chat window to ‘pick their brain’ as it were.

What had started as a mere exchange of ideas had turned into a budding friendship.

Grinning, you opened your laptop and powered it on, idly pushing pieces of a half-built carburetor to the far corner of the desk before going to lift your heavy backpack and slamming it down onto the empty spot.

‘SmoothCriminal’ was already waiting on chat when you finally logged in. Over the months, he’d come to know your usual class hours. You wondered what he did, to have so much time to chat, but with the connectivity everyone had with phones and such, you shrugged it off.

You did a bit of ‘hunt and peck’, typing one-handed while opening your bag with the other. [Hey you. Just got home. You have excellent timing.]

[*chuckle* You did give me your hours at class and work.]

[*raspberry* Smart-ass.] You turned away from the laptop as you pulled out your books, including a new one that had cost you a whopping hundred-and-twenty bucks. It was murder on your tight budget.

[I try. How were classes?]

[Meh. Same old, same old. Kinda just more in depth stuff that Dad taught me. They dumped a new book on us too. Blew my monthly budget out of the water.]

[That bad?]

[Hundred twenty buckaroos. For something that will be obsolete in six months. I’ll probably end up using it as a door stop. Apparently the teacher had ‘forgotten’ to mention that we needed it.]

[Lovely. Which means what for you?]

[Dollar store Ramen for the next two weeks until I get my pay from apprenticing with that mechanic downtown.]

[That’s not food. That junk is mostly salt and cheap carbohydrates. You’ll get sick eating that garbage.]

You huffed. [Money’s tight. Like, painfully tight. I need to make rent, and pay my share of the power, internet and water bills. Next month I need to renew my bus pass, and, and, the property and school taxes for the house we’re renting is coming up - that’s like three-hundred bucks I need to come up with. I have like, zero wiggle room.]

[The way your country piles debt on students is deplorable. University is free in some countries overseas, did you know that? Completely free education.]

[Lucky them. I, meanwhile, need to win the lottery if I want to be able to pay the fee next semester.]

[….your parents can’t help?]

[Nah. They have enough problems.]

[*rolls eyes* They’re your parents. I’m sure they’d help if they knew you were in trouble.]

[Dude. No. They have enough trouble without me adding to it. Mom had to skip a month’s worth of her insulin meds so Dad could get his high blood pressure prescription filled.]

[That’s messed up. Ever think of changing countries?]

You shook your head. He had to be in Canada or someplace where things were covered, because he obviously didn’t know how life worked in the States. [Again. With what money?]

[…..I could help.]

[I appreciate the thought, but nah. It would feel too much like charity. Besides, I’d get mad if I found out you’d put yourself in financial trouble just to bail my ass out. A little more instant Ramen won’t kill me.]

[Bleh.]

A snicker left you. [Not your fave, hm?]

[It’s not healthy, so no.] A pause. [Damn. Something’s come up. Same time tomorrow?]

[Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Take care.]

[You too.]

A sigh left you as he logged off, and you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms up above your head. It was for the best. You needed food and you had some serious studying to do.

The next few days progressed as they usually did. A whirl of school, work, studying and a general lack of sleep and actual food. Chatting with ‘SmoothCriminal’ was always the highlight of your days, and more than once he’d had to mother-hen you into going to bed when the chats stretched on into the night.

It was Monday when something odd happened.

“Yo!”

You rolled your eyes at your roommates holler and rose from your bed where you’d been studying to stick your head out your room door. You figured he was only yelling for you, because the other two people you shared the house with where away at class. “What?!”

“You got a package!”

“The fuck?” Scowling, you headed downstairs, blinking as David pushed a large box into your arms. “I didn’t order anything.”

“S’got your name. It’s from Hello Fresh.” When you blinked at him stupidly, he rolled his eyes at you. “Y’know, it’s that fresh food thing that delivers meal kits to people. Pre-portioned and all that jazz. You just cook it up.”

“Awah?” Stunned, certain it was a mistake, you carried the box to the kitchen, David following in your footsteps. After using a steak knife to cut through the tape you opened the box to discover a mass of greens, potatoes, and four portions of salmon. Enough to feed the entire house-full.

Taking advantage of your shock, David snagged an invoice from the top of the pile of food. “Says here you’ve been signed up for a years worth of meals. ‘Each package contains four portions’. Geez. You get yourself a Sugar Daddy or something?”

“Oh, shut it.” You snatched the paper out of his hands and scowled at it. “Does it say who paid the bill? A card number, anything? Maybe I can call– Dude! What are you doing?”

David rolled his eyes at you as he started pulling food out of the box. “I’m going to cook the free food we’ve been blessed with so we can eat?”

You glared at the ‘are you stupid’ tone in his voice. “This can’t be mine.”

“Invoice says it is. And that’s good enough for me.” Pans clattered as he dug through the cupboard for a frying pan.

Lost, you stared down at the invoice again, eyes scrutinizing every single line and work until. “’Smoothcriminal’?!”

David poked his head out of the lower cupboards. “Excuse me?”

“Sonofabitch!“ 

You left David in the kitchen and hurtled yourself up the stairs, stomping over to your laptop and logging on. Sure enough, he was online, waiting in the chatroom.

[What did you do?!]

[You got it already? My, I might have to send them a tip for fast delivery.]

[Asdfghjkl!]

[….You don’t like it?]

[No. Yes! I…. Shit. Why?]

[Because you shouldn’t have to go hungry just so you can afford your classes? Because you’re my friend and I worry about you?]

[…..] You stared at the screen for a moment. Debated whanging your skull off the desk. [Do I want to know how you figured out where I live?]

[Ah. That. I…. may have tracked your IP address and lightly hacked your service provider?]

[!!!!]

[Oh, come on. That stuff is child’s play. Their security is deplorable. A child could have gotten into their systems.]

Even through chat, you could almost feel how smug he was. [So you’re a hacker?]

[Only part time. Consider it a hobby of mine.] When you didn’t answer for a moment, he seemed to get worried. [Please don’t be mad. I just want to make sure you’re alright.]

[I’m…. irritated. This feels like charity. Or pity.]

[It’s neither. If a friend needed help, you would do your best to help them, right? This is exactly like that. I had some money to spare, and you needed help, so I got you something you desperately needed. I even made sure to get extra for your roommates too. Please don’t be mad. I just want to help.]

A sigh left you, your fingers hovering over the keys for a long moment before you answered. [Okay. Okay. Nothing else though. Comprende?]

[…..]

You groaned. [Fucksakes. What else did you do?]

[….check your bank account.]

[My bank?? You hacked the bank?!]

[No. I kept it perfectly legal. I just…. transferred some funds.]

You rushed to log into your online banking account, a wheeze leaving you at the amount in your checking account. [A MILLION DOLLARS?!!?!?!?]

[Enough for you and your parents to live comfortably.]

[ARE YOU INSANE?!!?]

[Not last I checked. Are you mad? You sound mad.]

You were hyperventilating. He knew where you lived, he knew your bank account. There had to be strings. What did he want from you in return? Blackmail maybe? You’d accept dirty money and he’d turn around and own you for the rest of your life? [I have to go.]

[What? No! Please? I didn’t—]

You logged out before he could type more, shutting your laptop with a cold shudder. Instantly picked up your phone and called the bank, gave your information, and tried to have the transfer of funds undone. Clenched your jaw when the customer service rep said it was irreversible, that the system wouldn’t let them do it.

Who the fuck had you been chatting with all this time?

Even the excellent meal David made out of the food that had been delivered didn’t quite quell the uneasiness in your stomach.

A week passed. You’d been afraid to go back on the chat. To be honest, you were still mentally freaking out. Your roommates had been thrilled at the free food, but you hadn’t dared mention that it might be from a crazy stalker you’d been chatting with for months. At least no one had died, so it hadn’t been poisoned.

That evening, it took a while for you to sleep. You drowsed off once or twice, but reading a book while lying on your back meant that every time you started to fall asleep, you’d smack yourself in the face with said tome.

After the third time, you learned your lesson and set the book aside, rolling over to snuggle into the blankets and pillows. It took a while, but finally, sheer exhaustion took hold and knocked you out.

Something woke you up late into the night. Some self-preservation bit of your brain screaming that something was terribly wrong. You fought against it for a bit, before cracking an eye open to assure your brain that nothing was amiss and that it was freaking out over nothing.

The sight of the red eyed giant towering over you made a scream rip it’s way out of your throat, a scream that was muffled as a massive hand shot out to cover your mouth.

“No, no, no. Shh. Please don’t scream.”

You stared up into glowing red eyes as panic gripped your heart in a vise, and you tried to scramble away, your back hitting the wall your bed was pushed up against.

Instinct had you kicking out, yelping when your foot hit hard metal, sending a shock of pain up from your toes to your thigh.

“Please don’t do that. You’ll only hurt yourself.”

The tone was male, calm and conversational, nonthreatening, but what the fuck was a metal monster doing in your bedroom?!

A long moment passed, where you merely stared up at the man/thing/what-the-hell, until he moved, reaching out to flick on the multiple strings of fairy lights that you used to illuminate your room.

Easily eight feet tall, built of out metal, curves and struts all intertwined in a nearly impossible feat of mechanical genius. Crimson optics calmly looked down at you as you took him in, your brain taking a painfully long moment for recognition to bloom.

Ultron. Holy shit.

You knew all about him from the debacle in Sokovia six months ago. His image had been plastered over every news source in the world. Everyone, even the Avengers, thought he’d been destroyed, but there he was, in your bedroom.

He must have seen the panic and terror on your face, because he gave you a worried look - something that should have been impossible with a metal face. But all those tiny pieces, like an intricate million piece jigsaw, allowed him such human expressions that it was startling.

“Shh. I won’t hurt you,” he murmured, his surprisingly rich voice, with just a tinge of metallic echo, filling the small room. “I’ll let you go, but don’t scream.”

You nodded a little, gulping in a breath when he removed his hand. Watched with wide eyes as he moved so he was kneeling next to your bed, lowering himself closer to your eye level. You moved as far away from him as possible, tucking your knees to your chest, back pressed flush against the wall.

When you refused to break the tense silence, Ultron made a sound like a sigh, a tired expression settling onto his features. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. You haven’t been on the chat in a week and I got worried.”

You blinked, multiple times, as your brain struggled to make sense of what had just come out of his mouth. When things finally clicked, you went ballistic.

“YOU'RE–?!” Your shriek got cut off by his hand gently clamping over your face again. Probably for the best - last thing you needed was for one of your roommates to find you screaming at Ultron in your bedroom.

The look Ultron gave you once you’d stopped cursing against his palm was all quiet amusement. “Done?”

Nodding, you waited until he’d removed his hand again before glaring at him. “‘SmoothCriminal’?? That’s what you chose as your username?!”

“Well, I thought ‘Mr Roboto’ would be too obvious,” he drawled with a smirk, his humour fading as he met your gaze. “You’ve been avoiding me.” It wasn’t a question.

You hesitated. “Can I be honest?”

“I’d very much prefer it if you were.”

“From my point of view, you were someone that I didn’t know. I mean, yeah, we’ve talked a lot on chat, but I don’t really know who you are. Fuck, you could have been some online predator trying to butter me up for something. And suddenly you know my address, my real name, my bank account, and you’re sending me things and money and…. Can you understand why that’s super creepy?”

His brows drew inwards in a frown, crimson eyes dimming a little. “That…. wasn’t my intention at all.”

“And even now that I know who you are…. You’re Ultron. Everyone on the planet knows what happened in Sokovia.”

A very human-sounding sigh left him at that. “Sokovia was a…. mistake. I was overwhelmed and….” He shook his head. “I’ve been keeping a low profile, obviously. Trying to help while saying hidden. Sending funds to the right organizations, distributing aid where it’s most needed, taking down crooked corporations. But it’s…. lonely. I don’t…. have anyone. Talking to you was a distraction at first, I honestly didn’t expect to become so…. attached. It’s selfish, I know, but I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

The very real depression and loneliness in his voice both surprised and shocked you. This definitely wasn’t the killer, unfeeling, robot that had been plastered all over the news.

“It’s…. a bit of a shock,” you murmured lamely, wincing a little at the pained look he gave you. “I’m sorry.”

Ultron frowned down at your bedding for a moment before moving to get to his feet, towering over you again. When you realized he meant to leave, you shot a hand out and grabbed his nearest arm, meeting his gaze when he sent you a surprised look.

“You don’t have to leave.”

He glanced down to where your fingers were curled around his wrist before looking back to you. “I–”

You rolled your eyes at him, your usual attitude starting to reassert itself. He was Ultron, yeah, but you’d known him for months. You were still low-key annoyed that he’d lied to you for months, but you understood why. “Ultron, sit your ass down.”

The relieved look he gave you as he moved to sit next to your bed again spoke volumes. He’d been ready to leave and never contact you again, despite his admission of how lonely he was, just because he thought you were terrified of him.

Definitely not what the news stations had portrayed him as.

“I am sorry I deceived you,” Ultron said as he got comfortable on your floor. Even then, he was still tall enough to be at eye level with you. “But it’s not like I can let my real presence be known online. The Avengers are still keeping an eye out for me.”

“My friend the super-villain,” you mused wryly, the low chuckle that rumbled out of him helping to calm your frazzled nerves. “Am I your sidekick now or something?”

That made him laugh, eyes crinkling in mirth. “Only if you’re caught. Which I’ll make sure doesn’t happen, so don’t worry. The, um, last ‘update’ your laptop downloaded wasn’t from Microsoft.”

“Ultron!”

“I wanted to make sure you’d be safe,” he said adamantly. “It’s nothing invasive to your privacy, I promise. Just some rather powerful security updates to ensure that no one can track you through me or vice versa. It’s adaptive too - you won’t have any more problems with viruses or malware or any garbage like that.”

“Well, thank you.” A smile tugged at you lips. “It explains how come I was the only one who didn’t get infected by a virus when the professor’s email got hijacked by a porn site. Everyone else ended up with crashed computers. Blue screens of death and the whole shebang.”

“That’s appalling.”

“You have no idea. You can’t…. like, get infected, right?”

“By a computer virus?” He chuckled. “Hardly. Why? Been trolling porn sites before bed?”

“Ew. No!” You snatched up a pillow and whacked him with it. “Gross!”

Ultron rose an arm to defend himself, laughing. “What? I’ve been in the entire internet. You have no idea what’s in the depths of the web.”

“And I’d rather not know. Like, ever.” You gave him another whack for good measure before relenting. “I have enough trauma from hearing my roommates fucking, I don’t need to know the depths that people go to online.”

“Well, you can certainly afford a place of your own now,” he retorted, meeting your gaze with a quirked brow. “The money I sent you is yours. I have no use for it, I have more than I need anyway.”

“Do I want to know where it came from?”

“I have…. Well, I own numerous stocks under various names and companies, not to mention I’ve sold several patents and schematics for a good dozen or so prosthetic limbs that can be connected directly to the nervous system. And there was that time I got bored and cleaned out some poker sites.”

You rolled your eyes at that last bit. “Uh huh.”

“I get bored!” He huffed, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m an AI. I’m capable of running over ten thousand processes at the same time and….” He paused, sending you a wary glance. “The Avengers burned some of my code in Sokovia. I can’t wirelessly connect to the internet anymore. It’s like…”

Your voice was gentle. “Like losing a limb?”

“Almost, yes.” A heavy sigh left him, and he dropped his arms, staring down at his hands as he flexed them open and closed in his lap. “I’ve been unable to reverse the damage thus far. I can hard-line to any system I need to use, of course, but otherwise, I’m…. limited.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, daring to rest a hand on his shoulder. He seemed to relax at your touch, his left hand rising to cover yours.

There was a slight smile on his features when he rose his head to look at you again. “Thank you. Especially for not being afraid of me.”

“It was a shock, yeah. But, I recover fast,” you added with a smirk, smiling when he laughed softly.

“I’m relieved.” His fingers tightened around yours for a moment, gentle. “I want you to use that money. However you see fit. And I know you want to be a mechanic, but if you ever want to do something on the side…. I’d like it if you worked with me. Little things, like narrowing down what charities to give money to, or helping me dig into companies to see if they’re worth supporting.”

Your lips quirked, and you let him lift your hand from his shoulder, shivering a little when he lightly brushed his thumb against your palm. “We both know you don’t need me for that.”

“I’d need you for your opinion. I don’t…. always understand humanity.”

A chuckle left you. “Hell, Ultron. I’m human and I don’t understand humanity. Why not contact geniuses or philanthropists or–”

“Because they’d sooner shoot me as talk to me. They don’t know me like you do.”

“I’m a grease monkey,” you protested with a shake of your head.

“You’re my friend. I trust you more than anyone else on this planet,” Ultron said, and you couldn’t help but blush a bit. “Just think about it? There’s time.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Oh, one more surprise - I recently purchased a penthouse downtown.” He grinned when you gaped at him. Then reached into his chest and pulled a set of keys out of a hidden compartment. “It’s yours now. Well, I might visit from time to time. I promise to call first.”

You felt dizzy as he pressed the keys into your hand. “A penthouse? But…. people will see you!”

“I got in here without anyone seeing me, didn’t I?” he chuckled, raising his free hand and letting you see as some sort of field rippled around his fingers before his entire hand vanished. “The best stealth technology on the planet. It’s much easier to hide something my size than it is to hide a plane or, say, a flying SHIELD heli-carrier.”

“That is kinda awesome,” you admitted.

“I know,” he smirked, so smug that you almost wanted to hit him with a pillow again. His hand reappeared, and he flexed his wrist a bit before turning back to you. “It’s late and you have classes in the morning. I should go. Think about the penthouse and the offer I gave you, okay?”

You watched as he fluidly rose to his feet, towering over you again. Took one step towards the bedroom door, only to stop when you grabbed at his wrist again.

One metallic brow quirked upwards when he turned back to you, and you quickly hopped up to stand on your bed. Now almost at eye level with him, you moved in and threw your arms around him in a hug.

He froze, a soft, surprised, noise leaving him, before he returned the hug, his arms tight around you. You didn’t know if he could feel sensations, or if he merely appreciated the gesture, but he almost melted into you, a simulated sigh of stark relief leaving him as he held you.

“If you’d just explained all this to me, we could have avoided all this drama,” you muttered to him, hearing and feeling the chuckle that left him as his arms squeezed you again before he pulled away. “Same time on the chat tomorrow?”

The genuine look of warm affection he gave you made butterflies flutter in your stomach. “I wouldn’t miss if for the world,” Ultron promised, leaning in to brush his mouth against your forehead before he ducked out of your bedroom.

Your life had officially gotten interesting.

[veryangryhedgehog]

“The Priestess, the Emperor, the Empress,” an Ede Valley story by Hedgehog.

“You want me to do what?” Cindy blinked at Niko from across the dining room table. It was December, and finally the first real snow of the year was falling outside the frosted windows.

“Just... you know, back me up,” Niko shrugged. “I’m gonna be goin’ into some pretty dangerous turf, and I need all the firepower I can get.”

Cindy frowned. “Well... what about Lila? She can take down pretty much anything, right? Besides, I got shit of my own to deal with.” Like an ever enigmatic quest for “the Truth”, whatever that meant, and a long-lost brother who hadn’t called her in the last forty-eight hours, she added to herself.

“I’m not worried about getting jumped,” Niko explained. “I’m more concerned about being intimidating. This guy’s not violent, as far as I know, but a hard customer to crack. I just need him to know we mean serious business.”

“You’re the spectacle, and I’m the steel,” Lila added from between them as she took a bite out of an especially crunchy bagel, which sort of temporarily cancelled out her badass persona.

Shaking her head, Cindy folded her arms. “Witchcraft isn’t even remotely ‘spectacular.’ I don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“Not spectacular?” Niko scoffed. “What do you call the fire that comes out of your friggin’ hands then?” He wiggled his fingers dramatically. “5 out of 10? Lacked a certain pizazz?”

“Oh, that? It’s not as great as you think it is,” Cindy shuffled in her chair. “I mean it’s fire, but... look.” She reached for the chain she kept around her neck and showed them the yellow-orange amulet that dangled from it. “It works through one of these, but they don’t have much power. I only had a little to work with, after all. Anything big will expend most of its juice. I mostly keep it for emergencies.”

“Perfect, wonderful. Listen: I don’t care if it only burns at room temperature,” Niko leaned towards her, grinning. “I just need it to look like it’s something.”

“I dunno...”

“Okay how about this: if you use it all up, I’ll get you the shit to make a new one free of charge. Better yet, a better one.”

Frowning, Cindy thought for a moment. She had a bad feeling about this. But at the same time, Niko and Lila had become her friends, and if they needed her help...

“Alright,” she said finally, sighing as she leaned forward on the table. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Yes!” Niko stood, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “This is the big one, ladies and, uh, ladies. I think some celebration is in order. I’ll go make some pancakes.”

Cindy raised an eyebrow. “Pancakes? Why that of all things?”

“It’s the only thing he knows how to make,” Lila supplied.

“Hey! That’s not true,” Niko pouted. “I’ve learned how to make a lot of stuff in the last couple months.”

“My apologies, young master,” she bowed as much as she could while sitting. “It’s the only thing he knows how to make well.”

Nodding, Niko seemed satisfied. “Much better,” he replied, before disappearing into the kitchen.

Once he was gone, Cindy turned to Lila. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked. “I feel like I’m kind of taking your job.”

“Oh, no,” Lila smiled, “it was my idea, actually. I’m...” she paused, looking back into the kitchen. “I’m afraid Niko’s getting a little in over his head with this one. People with guns I can, and have, dealt with, but this is... something more along the lines of your expertise. I’d feel much more confident if you were there, for your knowledge if nothing else.”

“And are either of you actually going to tell me what it is we’re walking into?” Cindy asked.

Lila sighed, as if she didn’t quite believe what she was about to say. “We’re going to conduct business. With a daemon.”

Cindy blinked. “Oh shit.”

So it was with great reluctance the following afternoon after school that she met Niko and Lila at the house and together they walked down to the old part of town. Lila had her katana strapped to her shoulder like a backpack, and certainly had several weapons besides on her. Though Niko seemed less armed, there were several suspicious lumps under his trench coat that Cindy suspected were guns. Cindy felt positively naked with only the fire amulet and the hasty protection charm she’d whipped up for the three of them last night.

Meanwhile, Lila was feeling just as nervous, if not more so. She wasn’t used to not being the toughest person in the room, and her every instinct was screaming to bodily grab Niko and run. But she didn’t.

Niko had found himself a real niche here, in this small, unimportant suburb, selling substances of an... occult description, mostly just because this town was so gosh-darn weird. With the exception of that one family down the street from the abandoned house—what was their name? The Jeffersons?—she suspected that there wasn’t a single ordinary person in the whole of Ede Valley.

She knew that he’d been saving the money he’d been making until his eighteenth birthday rolled around and they could get a place that didn’t have more cobwebs than a football player with a concussion. If he could get a daemon in the chain of supply and demand, that would be huge.

But still, it was one of the more dangerous things she’d done in her life, right up there with trying to steal the watch off a rich mob kid with a heavily-armed bodyguard. Daemons, to put it lightly, weren’t human, they didn’t think like humans did, and most could probably tie her up in a knot of words before she’d even drawn her katana. Niko might fare better, he was good at that kind of thing. But Lila was afraid, even for him.

Lila was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t realize they’d reached their destination until the hum of the neon sign cut through the haze. Blinking, she saw with a start that she recognized that image of a scrubby goat. This was the bar right below the safe house, err well, ex-safe house. She glanced over to Niko and briefly caught his eye, trying to convey just how dangerous this was. True, it had been almost four months since the “Vincent Incident” but she was still paranoid that they might be recognized.

Niko nodded, ever so slightly, probably telling her to keep her cool, and then carefully stepped over the threshold, into the Smiling Goat.

Apt name, Lila thought, almost bitterly as she followed suit with Cindy behind her, though she had no idea whether the proprietor had any real associations with the land down under. From the d��cor, it certainly didn’t seem like it. If anything, the place had a worn-in feeling; Lila would have called it homely if not for the crawling feeling that something dangerous lurked in these walls.

Niko gestured for the two of them to hold back, and Cindy and Lila obliged, glancing around the place while Niko approached the bartender, a tall, dark-haired kid with an exceptional amount of tattoos. He leaned on the counter conspiratorially, a smirk that seemed to say he already owned the place painted on flawlessly. “I’m here to speak to the boss,” he said softly, but firmly. “He knows we’re coming.”

So far, so good as the bartender nodded. But Lila shouldn’t have dared to even think it, because just then Cindy happened to glance over at the bartender, her mouth dropped open, and she almost shouted: “Tommy?”

Annnnd the spell was broken. They had lost the intimidating edge. They had ceased to be dark, mysterious strangers and had become teenagers playing as them. But surprisingly, the bartender didn’t scowl, or scoff, he looked kind of sheepish, and almost a little scared. “Cindy,” he said, “what are you doing here?”

Swiveling back and forth between the two, Niko looked just as confused as Lila felt. “You two know each other?”

“He’s my brother,” Cindy provided before turning back to the bartender, Tommy. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I, uh...” Tommy began.

“Wait, your brother?” Niko interrupted over the top of him. “I thought you only had one of those!”

She shrugged. “I thought I did until two days ago.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means,” came a new voice, “that dramatic irony is still functioning as it should.”

All eyes turned as the black curtain at the back of the bar was pushed aside and a tall man with round spectacles slunk out. Said curtain was then nearly set on fire a second later out of sheer reflex.

“Oh hell no,” Cindy said, a jet of flame separating her and the newcomer. “Not you too.”

“Cool your jets!” Niko yelled. “Are ya trying to set the place on fire?”

“I would if it would burn this son of a bitch with it.”

The newcomer chuckled. “I’m a little tougher than that, I’m afraid.”

As Cindy hesitantly put out her flames, Lila took a small step forward, her hand twitching near the hilt of the katana. She could see why Cindy had reacted the way she did, there was something about this man that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. At first glance he appeared harmless, even a little foppish with his dishwater blond hair flopping over his round glasses. But there was something about his eyes. They were too sharp, too focused for the persona he was trying to display.

Niko, on the other hand, didn’t appear to be picking up on any of this. “Do you know everyone in this town?” he asked Cindy.

“Apparently so,” she glared at the newcomer.

He shook his head. “And you’re not even going to introduce me? That’s a little bit rude.”

“No offence, but I met you two and a half years ago for two minutes, and that meeting ended with me in a mental ward for three months.”

“Fair point,” he nodded.

Lila paused mid-breath. This man was clearly the daemon they were looking for, and if Cindy had met him two years ago... she nodded to herself, the pieces falling together. A brief glance over to Niko revealed that he had come to the same conclusion.

“The name’s Cowell,” the daemon continued. “And I’m the proprietor of this establishment.” He turned to Niko. “I believe you are...” Lila froze as his tongue closed around the first syllable of Niko’s name. The pub seemed empty, but who knew who could be listening at this very moment. “Looking for me,” he said instead, seeming to enjoy the momentary panic that had sprouted on their faces.

“That’s right.” Niko recovered quickly. “We spoke over the phone. I’m very interested in this place, and all the... things you’ve got inside of it.”

Cowell simply seemed bemused from the many inches of height he had on Niko. “Ah, I see. A connoisseur of the more... obscure trinkets, are you hmm?”

“More of a... business man, I’d say,” Niko matched his tone with ease.

“Mhm,” Cowell nodded. “Then let’s talk in my office, shall we?”

He beckoned Niko to the back curtain, but quickly stepped in front of it as Lila—and Cindy, a little more hesitantly—tried to follow. “Ah, ah, ah,” he intoned. “I don’t let just anyone back here, you know.”

Frowning, Niko stared at Cowell for a moment, trying to read the vague smile. But he quickly gave up. “Cindy?” he asked. “You’re good with doin’ a little catch-up with your bro, yeah?”

She looked a little relieved, and nodded.

“Good. But Lila’s with me.”

It was now Cowell’s turn to eye Niko. He seemed just on the cusp of refusing, but then smirked a little and nodded. “Alright then, the two of you follow me.”

Across the pub, Cindy watched them disappear behind the curtain. With anyone else she would have been worried. But this was Lila, after all, and Niko was no slouch either. After a moment, she turned back to Tommy, who had been polishing the same glass for about ten minutes now.

“Sorry I didn’t call,” he muttered finally, after they sat in silence for a minute.

“I was worried, you know,” she admitted, “that you’d disappeared again, or worse, and that I’d never see you again.”

Tommy looked up from his glass. “It’s just... it sounds like you and mom and Mike have a nice life now, one that I’m not a part of, and I would just bring back memories.”

Though she nodded, Cindy still wasn’t fully convinced. “You saw dad, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not like him, you know. I know you worry that you are.” She neglected to elaborate why she was certain of this. “There’s someone else you take after, but it’s not mom either. I don’t know who it is.”

“Thanks.” Even if she didn’t, Tommy seemed to know who she was referring to, and he brightened up a little.

“Look,” she sighed, “I see what you mean about coming back from the dead and all, so I’ll make you a deal: I won’t tell mom you’re here, but in return, you need to tell me the whole story, where you’ve been all these years, all of it.”

Tommy paused, staring off into the distance for a moment, before he finally nodded. “Alright. Deal. But I can’t just ‘tell’ you. I kinda have’ta show you. Once Cowell comes back, I’ll see if I can get off early.”

And so they waited. They would be waiting awhile, because back in the office, there were some... complications.

Cowell led Niko and Lila down the black hallway and into the last door on the left. Lila’s hand twitched, ready for anything as the door opened into... a small, cozy office. The only off thing about the whole affair was the shelves upon shelves of jars containing, what else, souls. They were of all colors and consistencies, some adrift peacefully while others almost seemed to be fighting to break free.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Cowell said suddenly after he noticed Niko and Lila’s transfixed gazes. “How each one is so unique? I sometimes take them just because I’m curious about what they look like. And taste like,” he added, grinning to himself.

He didn’t seem aware of just how odd that sounded.

“Funny,” he continued. “Most people are a bit scared once they find out what’s in those jars, but not you two, eh?”

Niko scoffed, drawing his gaze away. “After the things we’ve seen, this is downright calming.” He plopped down in the chair in front of the desk without waiting to be invited. “But neither of us are starry-eyed kids you can con out of our essences or whatever the hell. We’re here for business.”

“Yes, yes. Of course.” Cowell grinned, sitting as well. “The young mob heir, striking off on his own, to prove to them all that he too can construct an empire with his own two hands. Thrilling stuff really, though the plotline’s been done before. Though never with this specific ‘occult’ twist.”

Raising an eyebrow, Niko shook his head. “Whatever you say, pal. Now, seems to me that you’ve got a lotta souls, uh, hanging around. I could take some off your hands, cut you a really nice deal...”

Lila remained standing, and listened with half an ear as she continued to glance around the room. She had never had a mind for this business stuff like Niko, so she let him work his magic while she prepared to back his honeyed words with steal if necessary.

The souls were really quite mesmerizing. They seemed to be in a bizarre half-state between liquid and gas, though some leaned more one way than the other, floating in their jars like hair immersed in water. But now something else caught her attention: a small, mahogany cabinet opposite the desk. She narrowed her eyes, attempting to see past the frosted glass. But, to no avail.

When a lull appeared in the negotiations, Lila took her chance. “Forgive me,” she said, “but what’s in there?” she gestured to the offending case.

“Ahhh....” Cowell’s smile grew even wider. “That’s where I keep the more... interesting things I’ve collected over the years.”

“Do you mind?” she asked, reaching with trepidation towards the cabinet.

“Be my guest.”

The doors swung open with a quiet creak, and Lila frowned at the contents beyond. Small, glass bottles glowed in the pale light, each containing... something. They looked a bit like the souls, vapory and translucent, but these things had different textures to them.

Lila picked up one of the vials. On it was a thin, paper label which read in a scratchy hand: “Loyalty, Penelope Blanchett, 2017.” Inside, the loyalty glowed a soft pink, but there seemed to be something darker at the center, almost like a heartbeat.

“Loyalty?” she asked. “What does that mean?”

Cowell rose to join her at the cabinet. “It’s all the little bits of people I’ve collected. Things they can, but probably shouldn’t, live without. Bit of a macabre hobby, but there it is. Courage, knowledge, fear, I’ve taken them all. Oh, this one’s my favorite,” he pointed out one of the taller, thinner vials. “A teenage girl’s perspective. A genius move if I do say so myself.”

Immediately, Lila and Niko caught each other’s eye. A teenage girl missing her perspective? They knew someone who fit that description. Without words, a plan was formed.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Niko interrupted. “I know a lot of people who would pay big bucks for something like that. Come on, let’s get back to business.”

As Cowell turned his attention away from Lila, she took the split second chance and snatched the vial before closing the cabinet, then focused once more on the conversation. All seemed to go well, Cowell didn’t spare even a glance in her direction.

Eventually, Niko and Cowell came to an arrangement. And just like that, Cowell became part of the ever-growing supply chain. Those... acquaintances of Niko’s that were willing to pay for genuine human souls would finally get them. What they were actually going to do with them, Lila didn’t even want to guess.

Niko and Cowell stood and shook hands. “We’ll be in touch,” Niko smirked.

“I await with anticipation.”

Turning to leave, Lila followed Niko to the door. She finally felt herself begin to relax. This had been a highly successful endeavor, after all.

“By the way...” Cowell said, and Lila’s heart sank right back down as she heard the smile in his voice. She had relaxed too soon. “That bottle you’ve got in your pocket isn’t what you think it is.”

“I... what are you...?” Niko tried desperately to say something, but Cowell simply held up a hand, staring intently at Lila, and Niko fell silent.

“Check the label.”

Hesitantly, Lila pulled the vial from her jeans pocket. Inside, the only thing she could see was an almost clear sheet, slightly tinted a rose color, almost the most solid thing in Cowell’s collection. She turned it over in her hand and read the faded paper: “Perspective, Agnes May, 1975?” Niko leaned over and stared at it as well.

“Wait, this isn’t—” he began, before he realized what he was saying and shut his mouth.

“Your friend’s?” Cowell continued for him. “Afraid not.”

Lila took a step towards him, her face set. “Where is Cindy’s vial? We know you have it,” she growled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His smile said that he knew exactly what they were talking about.

“Bullshit.” Niko stepped in. “We know you’re the daemon she made a deal with, you bastard.”

“I don’t have it.”

Oddly, it seemed as if he was telling the truth. “What?” Niko asked.

“I never had it to begin with,” Cowell shrugged. “You can’t take someone’s perspective if they can already see the Truth. You just need to give them a little push.”

“But... why?” Lila shook her head. “Why would you just ruin her life like that?”

“I wouldn’t say I really ruined it, per say,” Cowell grinned. “I mean, I’d say that you two are probably the closest friends she’s had in years. And believe me, you’ll see someday. Now if you’d kindly hand me back poor Agnes May’s perspective, thank you, then I’ll show you out. I’ve had quite a bit of excitement for one day.”

Grabbing both of their shoulders, he guided Niko and Lila out of the office and back to the pub. And a silent vow was passed between them: don’t tell Cindy. After everything she’d been through, finding out that it had all been a lie, well, they weren’t sure what she would do.

Niko made a mental note to not get the ingredients for too big a fire amulet. He did not want to be witness to that explosion. Better to wait until the time was right.

“We’ll, uh, get out of your hair, then,” Niko said. “A real pleasure.”

“Oh no,” Cowell’s smile grew even broader. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

[lastbluetardis]

Warm Memories, Warmer Hearts

This was written for the lovely @hanluvr for the @dwsecretsanta gift exchange! I’m so sorry this is so late, but I hope you like it!!

And a big thanks to @chocolatequeennk for helping with the title! Otherwise it would’ve been a really awful pun.

Tentoo x Rose, ~3300 words, nsfw

After three Christmases spent on Earth together, the Doctor and Rose take to the stars to start their own holiday celebrations.

AO3

“It’s a time machine, Mum,” Rose explained for at least the tenth time that week. “Me an’ the Doctor want to have a bit of a celebration alone. It’s our first Christmas where the TARDIS is big enough to travel in. But I promise we’ll be home in time for Christmas dinner.”

“Twelve months, that’s all I’m saying,” Jackie said stubbornly as she draped garland across the huge evergreen in her living room.

“Oi!”

Rose giggled as the Doctor poked his head in from the kitchen, a bit of flour smeared across his cheek.

“I’ll have you know, that was not my fault!” he defended. “The TARDIS has a mind of her own, the stubborn old girl.”

“So how can you be sure you’ll be back in time for supper if that bloody ship can land whenever it wants?” Jackie challenged sharply.

“Mum,” Rose said, spinning her away from the Doctor before their ribbing could grow into a row. “Mum, you’ll just have to trust us. I know you don’t like it, but this is our Christmas gift to each other. We’ve spent three Christmases with you, like a normal family. But now we want to start celebrating Christmas in our own way.”

Jackie huffed out a breath but didn’t say anything else, and Rose knew she’d listen to her mum gripe and moan about it for the next few days. But no matter. She and her Doctor would be off in their TARDIS in just one week’s time.

oOoOo

“Are you ready, Rose Tyler?” the Doctor asked, a giddy grin on his face. He bounced on his toes as he hovered his hand over the dematerialization lever.

“Always,” she said excitedly.

The Doctor moved around the TARDIS in a loved and familiar dance as he sent them into the Vortex and to his Christmas gift destination.

The TARDIS landed with a heavy thud that had them both clinging to the central console to keep from being tossed to the ground. Rose laughed cheerfully and heard it echoed by the Doctor.

“So where are we?” she asked, skipping up next to him to look at the computer screen. But for the first time in the nearly four months since she’d been big enough to travel, the TARDIS wasn’t showing the English translation.

“It’s a surprise,” the Doctor chastised, batting her hand away as she started pressing random buttons to translate the circular symbols. “Go on and fetch a coat, eh? If we are where I planned us to be, you’ll be needing one.”

Rose leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before turning and running down the corridor that led to their bedroom.

The Doctor, meanwhile, cracked open the door and nodded his satisfaction. He’d landed when and where he intended, for once.

“Got one for you too!”

A heavy coat was thrust into his hands, as were mittens and a scarf. The Doctor donned his winter weather apparel as Rose finished lacing up her snow boots.

“Ready, Rose Tyler?” the Doctor asked, standing in front of the TARDIS doors.

She grinned and nodded her head. The Doctor spun around and opened the door with a flourish, revealing a familiar rolling landscape of snow and ice.

Rose gasped as she was taken back almost seven years in her memories as she took a tentative step onto Woman Wept.

“Oh, this is perfect!” she gasped, staring out over the frozen waves. It was almost pitch-black, save for the dozens of strands of fairy lights strung all across the frozen waters, making them glitter and shine in the darkness.

“It is, isn’t it?” he asked, feeling quite pleased with himself. “I always meant to take you back here. Never quite got around to it.”

He watched as Rose wandered around the frozen waves. They weren’t nearly as large as the ones on the other Woman Wept, but there were still thick rivulets of ice jutting out of the waters.

“In our original universe, the waves were frozen during a storm due to some mishap with its sun,” the Doctor explained as Rose wandered around the ice. “For some reason, that never happened in this universe.”

“So why’s it all still frozen?” Rose asked curiously.

“We’re several billion years in the future of this planet,” the Doctor said. “The sun’s burnt out. Without its warmth and light, everything slowly froze. I’ll have to bring you back here before the sun burnt out. It was a beach resort then.”

“This is beautiful,” Rose murmured, and she turned back to face him. “Thank you, Doctor.”

He hummed happily at her and said, “Remember last time we were here, you made a rather excellent suggestion, should we ever return?”

He reached inside the TARDIS and pulled out two pairs of ice skates.

“Fancy a bit of ice skating on an empty planet in the starlight?” the Doctor asked, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Rose giggled as she walked back to him. When she’d visited Woman Wept with her first Doctor, she’d teased him that they should’ve brought their ice skates after they slipped and stumbled their way through the frozen waters.

“It’s a date,” she said, giving him a tongue-touched smile as she leaned up against the TARDIS to swap out her boots for the skates.

When they were both properly laced up, the Doctor took her hand in his and guided her onto the icy surface of Woman Wept. He tried to twine their fingers together, but their mittens made that impossible. He grumbled under his breath as he took off one of her mittens and urged her to stick her bare hand into his mitten.

“Bigger on the inside,” she observed dryly when the Doctor grinned in triumph as his fingers curled around hers.

“Of course!” the Doctor said proudly.

They skated leisurely around the waves, laughing whenever one of them lost their footing and nearly toppled to the ground.

“Where’d the lights all come from?” Rose asked, her eyes widening when she realized they stretched on into the dark horizon.

“Erm, well, funny you should ask,” the Doctor said, fiddling with his scarf. “I sort of popped out one day and sort of, erm, put them up?”

“When was this?” she asked, trying not to be annoyed that he’d taken a trip in the TARDIS without her. They both promised each other they never would, just in case something went wrong, but he’d obviously worked so hard on making this trip perfect for her—for them—that she couldn’t be properly angry with him.

“A few weeks ago,” the Doctor admitted sheepishly. “When you and your mum went out shopping. Nipped out for a few hours, landed back home exactly seven minutes after I left.”

“Thank you,” Rose murmured. She skated to a stop to better tug him down for a kiss. “This is beautiful.”

“You’re very welcome,” the Doctor replied with a giddy grin.

The continued skating until they were half-numb with the cold. They made their way back to the TARDIS, and were delighted when the ship had a surprise waiting for them: steam rolled out from their bathroom, bringing with it the scent of lavender. Rose patted the walls in thanks as she started stripping off her layers. The Doctor joined her a minute later, having just sent them into the Vortex for the night, and hummed his appreciation when he saw the hot bath waiting for them.

The Doctor stepped in first, wincing at the almost too-hot temperature, and slowly lowered himself into the steaming water. His skin tingled as it was thawed by the bath water, and he held out his hand for Rose. She climbed in and settled herself between his legs. She moaned as the hot water seemed to seep down to her very bones and extract the lingering chill from their ice skating excursion.

The Doctor tugged her snuggly against his front and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Merry Christmas, Rose,” he murmured, nuzzling her shoulder as he pressed long, open-mouthed kisses to her skin.

“Merry Christmas, Doctor.”

His mouth continued to explore her neck as he traced circles around her belly button and up her ribs until his fingertips just barely skirted the undersides of her breasts.

Her sharp intake of breath made him smile, and he continued to teasingly trace circles across her breasts. She leaned back against him, granting him better access to whatever part of her he wanted to touch. He scooped up the sudsy water and let it trickle all down her front, teasing her puckered nipples.

He leaned forward and trailed a series of small kisses across her cheek until Rose realized what he was after, and she turned her head to catch his lips between hers. The angle was awkward, but they didn’t mind, not when the pressure of their mouths felt so good.

They nipped and sucked each other’s lips as the Doctor’s hands grew restless. She moaned into his mouth when he scraped his fingertips through the coarse hairs between her thighs.

She spread her legs to encourage him, but he seemed content with tracing the seam where her thigh met her hip.

“Doctor, please,” she moaned, leaning her head back against his collarbone.

He pressed a kiss to her temple and finally let his fingers skate across her lower lips. She sighed out a moan and arched into his touch, urging for more.

He let his fingers slip pass the seam of her labia and into her wet, slippery heat. She gasped in pleasure and clenched her hands around his shins.

The Doctor pressed trailing kisses across her jaw until he reclaimed her lips in another kiss. She lifted her hand from the water and gripped the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. Her tongue traced against his and teasingly flicked against it in such a way that was reminiscent of her mouth on a different part of him.

A part that was enthusiastically prodding against her bum.

He hummed into her mouth as he rubbed his erection lazily against the small of her back as his fingers probed her deeper.

She broke the kiss with a hiss and arched up into his touch, making water slosh up and over the tub.

He rubbed his index and middle fingers against either side of her clit as he dropped his other hand from her breast down to where his other hand was already teasing her. He eased two fingers inside her, moaning against her shoulder as he continued to rut himself against her.

“Faster,” she whimpered. “Please.”

He obliged, and put more direct pressure against her clit as he curled his fingers in and out of her more quickly. She let out that high, breathy moan he was so intimately familiar with, and he was both surprised and chuffed that she was already so close.

“I love you,” he whispered into her ear as he moved his hands in time with the rocking of her hips. “Come for me, Rose.”

She arched back against him and cried out a litany of curses as her muscles squeezed his fingers then pulsed around them. The Doctor bit his lip as her movement gave his cock such delicious friction, but he wasn’t quite ready for their night to be over, so he forced his hips away from hers as he brought her down from her high.

“Blimey,” she moaned, slumping back against him.

He kissed her temple and eased his fingers out of her. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, which unfortunately brought her back into contact with his throbbing erection.

“You didn’t…?” Rose scooted forward and reached back to take him in her hand.

He sucked in a sharp breath and reluctantly peeled her fingers away from his cock.

“In a minute,” he promised. “Let’s finish our bath first.”

“Well, I’m all warmed up,” Rose said with a cheeky grin. “So, if it’s all the same to you, let’s take this to our bed?”

The Doctor growled his agreement before he opened the drain and stood up. Rose smirked up at him, and lifted herself onto her knees and spun around so that her mouth was just inches from his cock. It had softened somewhat in the interim, but soon sprang to full attention when Rose swiped her tongue from base to tip and sucked him into her mouth.

“Oh, Gods, Rose!” he gasped, clenching his hands into fists as her clever little tongue swirled around the tip of his cock.

She reached up to stroke the base of him as she hollowed her cheeks around him and hummed.

“Shit, Rose, stop!” he ground out, feeling his stomach swoop in warning. “Stop, stop, stop. Bed. Now. Please.”

Rose pulled off of him and gave his cock one last kiss before she stood up, too.

“You little minx,” he murmured, grabbing her by the hips to tug her in for a kiss.

“Oh, you love it,” she mumbled against his mouth as his lips moved sloppily against hers.

He grunted his agreement as he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. He gave it a sharp nip for her cheek, then soothed it with his tongue as he dropped his hands to her bum to rub and squeeze the firm flesh.

He shuddered against her when she buried her hands into his hair and scraped at his scalp. He popped his lips away from hers and panted for breath as his arousal bubbled deep in his belly.

“Bed,” he croaked, stepping shakily out of the tub and onto the mat.

Rose followed, and they gave themselves a quick rubdown with the towel to keep from completely soaking their sheets before walking to their bed. Rose flopped down heavily, biting her lip against a smile as the Doctor’s eyes glazed over at the way her breasts jiggled on impact. His cock was still hard and the tip was flushed red, and Rose watched him wrap his hand around himself and give himself a few lazy strokes.

He snapped out of his daze when Rose arranged their pillows behind her back, and he crawled onto the bed with her. He slowly kissed his way up her feet and legs, before he pressed his lips to her inner thighs. Her muscles quivered beneath his lips as he inched his way nearer to her center, where she was radiating such moist heat.

She cried out when his tongue darted out to tease her clit, and then groaned in frustration when he continued to kiss his way up her hips.

“Bloody tease,” she growled.

“Pot, kettle,” he murmured distractedly as he sucked on the skin of her hipbones.

Rose sighed and wriggled restlessly on the bed as he continued his slow and thorough trek up her body. She loved when he got like this, when he seemed to want to worship every inch of her body, but right now she desperately wanted to feel him inside her.

“Please, Doctor,” she whimpered, knowing he could never refuse her anything when she said please. “Please make love to me.”

He exhaled raggedly and unlatched his mouth from her nipples as he settled himself into the cradle of her thighs. His wriggled his hips until his cock settled against her clit, and they both moaned at the stimulation. He shuddered and panted as his cock became slippery as he rubbed against her. He caught her lips in a fierce kiss as he continued teasing them, feeling so much love for the beautiful woman beneath him.

On the next rock of his hips, the tip of his cock slipped and bumped against her entrance. She unthinkingly reached down to line him up and sighed happily when he took the hint. He inched into her slowly, stretching her deliciously.

She shivered and clenched her fingers around his bum, wanting to yank him forward to seat him completely inside of her, but loving the slow tease.

He was finally as deep as he could go, and he groaned lowly at the feel of her hot, slick muscles gripping him tightly.

“You feel so good, love,” he murmured, leaning down to catch her lips in a slow and lazy kiss.

“So do you,” she whispered, clenching her lower muscles and grinning up at him as he gasped and surged his hips forward.

“Bloody hell, Rose,” he hissed, tentatively pulling out of her before thrusting back into her.

They settled into a rhythm almost instantly, a slow rocking of their hips that encouraged a slow buildup of pressure within them both. Their bedroom was filled with their soft sighs and moans as they made tender love to each other.

“You close, love?” the Doctor choked out when that familiar, aching pressure bubbled low in his belly.

She nodded and tightened her arms and legs around him. “Getting there.”

“Can you get there faster?” he grunted, willing himself to hold out for her. He dropped his hand between them and rubbed at her clit as he sucked a nipple into his mouth.

She keened lowly as her stomach swooped in warning.

“Thank fuck,” he mumbled as he felt her walls start to pulse around him. “Come on, Rose. Come for me.”

He thrust frantically into her as she raked her nails down his spine and arched beneath him, panting and groaning his name.

“Oh, Rose,” he moaned, burying his face into her neck as he surged into her as deep as he could go as the pressure in his gut exploded outward. Pleasure pulsed through him in a familiar rush, and his muscled spasmed as he let himself get pulled under.

When he was aware of the world around him, his cheek was pillowed on Rose’s breast and Rose’s arms and legs were holding him on top of her.

“Merry Christmas, love,” he murmured, pressing a series of kisses to the swell of her breasts.

“Merry Christmas, Doctor,” she replied, stroking her fingers through his damp hair. “Thank you for today. It was absolutely beautiful.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said happily. “I’ve got a few more ideas about where to go before we head back to your mum’s. As you said, this is a time machine. We could travel the universe for years and still be back in time for Christmas dinner.”

Rose laughed at him and playfully swatted his bum.

“You know we can’t do that.”

He pouted up at her.

“Oh, come off it, you love my mum,” Rose said.

He sniffed sharply and nuzzled his face back into her breasts.

“If you don’t mind, can we not mention your mother when we’re in bed together?” the Doctor muttered, but Rose saw the gleam of affection in his eyes. As much as they bickered, she knew how much her mum and her Doctor loved each other.

“So, where are we gonna go next?” Rose asked, glancing up at the ceiling. The TARDIS’s gift to them had been their bedroom ceiling, which she had programmed to look like the night sky in London, minus all the light pollution.

“Hmm.” The Doctor rolled off of her and flopped onto his back. He opened his arms for her, and Rose settled her cheek on his chest. He then pointed straight above them and murmured, “That way.”

Rose stifled a grin into his skin as she asked, “That way?”

“No, hold on…” He angled his hand just a fraction to the left, and said, “That way.”

Rose giggled into his chest at the memory of their first Christmas together, and she reached up to twine his fingers with hers. She brought it to her chest and turned to hug her Doctor more tightly as she murmured, “And it is gonna be…”

“Fantastic,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.