#meanwhile jayne is like ''hey guy what's up i just got back from my two girlfriends' place & i literally go anywhere i want whenever''

[ladyseidr]

william "me and my Perfect Societally-Idealized Family" af.ton vs. jayne being a polyamorous lesbian who regularly scandalizes people on purpose and knows william is bullshitting himself ( even if he won't hear it )

[hunterbahamut]

Today’s story is one I’m calling ‘Transformer’.

There’s more to this than meets the eye. I hope you enjoy!

--

Zech stood in front of the time chamber nervously, feeling the power radiating from his gauntlet.  This was it, it was time for his final trip back through time. He would never be able to save his father from the errors of his ancestors.

In that moment, a familiar voice boomed from his head. "My son, are you ready to enter the time chamber?"

"Yes, yes... I'm glad you're here, Eblan."

"I would like to have a word with you before you enter. When we last left, you were more than ready to enter the time chamber. However, you overlooked one crucial fact. The Destiny Ascension Program is now complete.”

Zech frowned and let out a sigh of frustration. "That's exactly the problem, the program was never meant to be."  He looked down, "How many lives did we loose already?  They were never meant to be involved, and you know it."

"Let them out, Zel, it's not like the Volturi will know what hit them. "

Zech held his hands out, "I don't want any more suffering, not from this place, not from our soldiers either."

Zesh rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to be done about this, as long as we don't find any more information, this place won't respond in kind to the Volturi."

"Yeah. I know. We've just been trapped in this cycle for so long now."  He sighed out, "I want things to go back to the way they were before.  I miss them all, especially Nova."  He shook his head, "You can't change my mind, I have to go back."

--

"I know." The nurse on duty got up and passed a small red pouch to the Wasp. "Thanks Nova." She bowed to the Wasp, then turned to the beaten Martian and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Don't let them get you down, buddy." The Martian nodded to her. "She's right."

Now that the doctor had gone, Nova had begun to really notice the problems.   Oh. It was definitely her fault.

Everything was going just fine until another explosion rocked the building.

As the dust settled Zech and Lon chose a shortcut, heading back to the lobby. They quickly noticed that Harry had disappeared and Lon collapsed to the floor, shaking. He looked at the cage, thinking it was the most likely explanation. Zech stepped outside, looking for his friend. Things were getting worse, it was hard to keep any thing coherent; Nova, Lon, Harry, Sparks, so many people he thought he knew only to be forgotten or disappearing. This was getting worse, and he knew he had to fix it.  And to fix that, he had to find either the team or Ezskar. 

"This has to stop!" Jobe said, upset, but trying not to look so hopeless. "A lot of people are putting a lot of trust in you, but I want to know you're going to keep your word. I have done some research, I don't know what you're doing, but you have to know that you're hurting a lot of people if you've let something like this happen."

"I know..." Zech said, "Too many people have been hurt by all of this." He looked back to Jobe, "You know that I've always kept my word.  I am going to fix this, one way or another.  You just have to trust me.  I have to find find Wart or Ezskar first before Trask or the others do."

Rody thought about this for a moment, "I suppose, but I hope you don't give up."

Zech shook his head, "No, not yet, boss."

Rody chuckled, "Well, we'll see."

--Chapter 7--

"What are you doing, Zech?"

"Looking for Ezskar." He said, checking his scanner. "He's close, but so is Nova, Trask -and- Sparks.  He let out a sigh, "This is getting out of hand, if I don't get that time device back, then nothing will make sense anymore!"

With a flick of his wrist, Jayne's X-COM helmet twitched, and he smiled. "Oxygen converter." he said, showing it to McCoy. "Alright, this ought to be good enough." He turned around and pointed his knife at the scanner. "Auspex locator." he said, and waved the device over. The device beeped, and Jayne pulled back his hood.

Zech blinked in confusion for a moment. "Uh, yeah...something like that." He sighed, "Alright, you guys take care of that, I'm going in after the pink terror."  He didn't wait for any kind of response, instead he just threw his arm out, teleporting out of the room and into the street; what was left of Union main square.  If he remembered it right, this was the epicenter of it all.   Nodding to himself, he simply charged forward through the center of the square, where his tail extended forward and lowered to touch a street lamp. As it closed in on him, all the signals for the various Villagers came to life.

"Great, the supposed hero appears."  The all-too-familiar voice of the pink mutant sneered.  Ezskar stood on the remains of the central monument and looked over to Zech. "How many more times must we go through this?  How many more times will you be plucked out of time to face me here?"  

"As many times as it takes!"  Zech shot back, "You don't know what kind of damage you're doing!"

Ezskar attacked, causing a shimmering sphere of energy to form and began firing a laser array at Zech. It was only a matter of time before Zech's energy shield was cut off and he was done for.

Zech charged into laser, pushing his shield out as much as he could before he broke and dashed to the side, letting the laser explode behind him. He threw his arm out, teleporting closer to Ezskar before firing a bolt of magical energy.  "This ends now!"  He shouted, "Give up!" He picked up a bladed weapon and slammed it into Ezskar's shield. "Great!" As the two charged, Zech flicked his wrist and the laser disappeared. He was quick and nimble. Ezskar couldn't use his weapon while his shield was up, and he would just get slammed into the wall if he tried.

"You time-hopping freak!"  Ezskar yelled out before he fell back, dropping the shield and raising the weapon up, aiming for the hybrid. This was his chance; Zech teleported out of view, reappearing behind Ezskar and raising his gauntlet up, energy charging up before he released it.

He felt the blast pass through the back of his shield. With a loud crack, Ezskar's armor and his core began to cool as the drones assimilated his form. Ezskar screamed as he felt a bright beam fly towards his head and slice open his helmet, leaving him with his other eye showing. Ezskar fell to his knees and gasped in pain.

Zech raised his gauntlet and aimed it at the weapon, unleashing an energy tether to grab hold and yank it back to him. "Got it!"  He cried out, "Now to put an end to it once and for all!"  He reached into the weapon's core and yanked out a blue crystal as it glowed and sparked with very familiar energy.  He had to destroy it, and hopefully this will all be put to an end. The mysterious energy caused his blood to heat up and he started to sweat. The jet black suit looked as if it was coated with at least thirty years of ash, and the single pale finger on the right hand was similar to the fading image of Darkstalker- whatever he was.

Zech held the crystal in his gauntlet and started to charge up his own energy; causing the ground and air around him the shake and vibrate.  Time energy creating a paradox like this was dangerous, and he had no way of knowing if this would restore everything, or destroy everything.  But it had to be better than this. As Time energy, he summoned up the holographic arms, showing himself pulling on each one of them, changing their material form as he went, until he finally got a long metallic straight line stretching from where the crystal should be to his hand. Time broke into three pieces in his hand. He flipped the crystal, leaving it in the air. Suddenly, the ground began to tear apart and come to life; energy spilled out from the cracks as the time shards began to reform.  Everything around the hybrid began to distort and fade away as the timeline was reforged.  He felt the pain shoot through him as he started to become consumed into the distortion wave as well.

"God..." he gasped with his voice as he continued to be dragged into the past. God's eyes widened as the myriad of terrible thoughts crossed his mind. The most haunting thing about being a Time Lord is the moment you realize how far behind you are in time. I could've sworn they were slowing down by the second. "Dumbledore." God breathed heavily, his thin lips wriggling with sadism. "The universe is a pain."

--

There was a heavy amount of silence for a few moments before Phineas spoke up. "What the hell was that?!"

The video ended and the lights came back on.  The members of the team had the most confused, flabbergasted or concerned looks on their faces.

"What the hell was that?!" Phineas said again, "What kind of bizarre trash was this?  'Based on a true story' my aching ass!"

Nix sighed, "I was willing to give them some slack, this feels like it was written by a bad AI program or something."

Sparks looked flustered, the end of his smoothie straw all crunched up from his chewing. "They got me all wrong! I don't act like that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!"

"They make me look totally stiff and humorless." Tero said with his arms crossed.

"Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on."  Phin snorted, "But the script writers thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time!"

Tero shot him a glare. "You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics."

"I know!"

Nix shook her had, "Can you imagine how Wart or Ezskar would react if they would see this?"

Phineas couldn't help but let out a laugh, "I'd actually pay good money to see that!"

Zech meanwhile was sunk down in his seat, his hood covering his head as he wished he could sneak out of there.  This was embarrassing to say the least.  "That...wasn't a good movie."

Nix sighed. "I'll say."

"No kidding." Phin grumbled.

Tero snorted.  "Horrible."

"But the effects were decent!"  Sparks said.

--

--

--

ATUHOR’S NOSE: Hey everyone, Happy April Fools!

So this was a very strange idea I had and wanted to play with.  Some of this story was written by me, but the rest was written using ‘Talk to Transformer’, a kind of computer AI network that finished story prompts you put in.  After watching the madness from Vinny and Joel of Vinesauce when they played with it, I thought this would be perfect for an April Fools story.

As for the ending...yeah, it’s from Avatar: The Last Airbender. It only seemed appropriate.

As ever with these, the story is not in canon with Team Prototype or the AU stories of mine. This was just a little experiment in some madness.

[bowenandjohnson]

The Aftermath

Basically, Colin & Farrah own my heart. 

Short one-shot set after the season 1 finale of Youth & Consequences. Spoilers beware! Read under the cut!

If you had asked Farrah Cutney what she thought she’d be doing on her Winter Break off from Central Rochester this year, she once would have probably said something along the lines of either going skiing in Aspen with Hurley, Jayne, and Plain Jane, or attending the Winter Ball tonight with Will. Former Farrah wouldn’t believe that Current Farrah was willingly sitting across from Stacey Moorehead on her bedroom floor setting up a game of bridge.

Stacey Moorehead was the former best friend for a reason, but now she was one of the only people Farrah could talk to, without fear of a glare or a sneer aimed her way. The fact of the matter was, of course, that Stacey and Farrah were now both former somethings: Stacey was the former BFF, and Farrah was now the former It Girl of CRHS, currently fallen from grace.

She had expected backlash from revealing she was the anonymous blogger called “The Crotch” in September--at least one part of the blog. Colin and Dipankar were the other two parts of it, but they hadn’t come forward. Of course, she had been the one to fall on her own sword for Tripp, and for Colin. She didn’t give a shit about Dipankar, but at least, he hadn’t tried to take back control of the Crotch after she came forward to claim the title. Neither had Colin. The Crotch was effectively vanquished, at least for this year.

Her parents had been called into Principal Cowher’s office. Superintendent Moorehead sat on one couch with Colin’s mother, while Farrah had to sit sandwiched between her mom and dad on the sofa facing them. She had to pretend that she was intently listening, but to be honest, she was hyper focused on the fact that her father was growing increasingly tense beside her. 

They wanted to expel her, at least at the first meeting, but Moorehead’s tune had changed by a week later. Farrah figured her dad had a private conversation with the superintendent. Her mom was just disappointed. Farrah’s wreaking digital havoc on the school had taken everything out of her again, and she had to restart anew for the second time since the separation. No one wanted to be associated with a cyberbully’s mother.

Principal Cowher’s voice still rang in her head. “Well, considering the circumstances of your home life into account, Farrah, we are not going to press charges. We have talked this over with both your parents, and members of the community. We, however, still require a formal letter of apology for me, the school district, and Tripp, considering your actions got him into a car accident. We are also going to give you in-school suspension for three weeks, and mandatory community service and counseling for the time being.”

All Farrah could do in that moment was nod woodenly. She couldn’t fight the principal. Not now that she thought that Farrah had ridiculed her and her dead husband all over cyberspace.

The following Monday, Farrah arrived at 9 AM, after classes had started. Her spot was no longer reserved, and Hurley’s black car took up new residence where hers used to. She was forced to park in the last row, furthest from the school. Gabe met her at the doors, and led her into a room off of the administrative offices, colored a bland white, furnished with rows of desks. Principal Cowher was standing there, waiting for her. She was going to help tutor her, until they could find a good enough tutor to step in. Cowher had said something around the lines of “putting her Master’s degree to good use.”

Those late starts were almost like a reprieve from having to face everything and everyone she had hurt, but after the bell rang at 3 PM, she was forced to leave when everyone else did. The first day, she merely tried to blend in, sunglasses perched on her nose, but Grace Ho was right behind her. Hissing loudly so everyone could hear, she said, “Wow, Farrah. It’s so good to see you back. I’ll make sure to tell Will you say hey.” Plain Jane laughed in her ear. Stacey remained silent for a moment, before saying, “Grace. Enough.”

“Why not? She thought she could play around with everyone else. You’re lucky, Farrah. If you were a man, you’d be dead right now.” Ilo appeared in front of her suddenly, blocking the way. Farrah was forced to stop in her tracks.

“Kill me now, Ilo. Being sexist, really? I could take you.” Her retort was still biting, but it didn’t seem to phase anyone that much anymore. Everyone was closing in around her, looking like she used to, as predators circling their prey.

“Ilo. She’s not worth it. She’s just a glorified puppet master with no more strings to pull. Just walk away, please.” She hadn’t expected to hear his voice. Especially directed at Ilo in such a manner. Farrah turned, searching the crowd for one Colin Cowher. Their eyes locked for a moment that felt like a century, and then he finally looked away, clearing his throat. “My mom is going to have a field day with this, and I’m pretty sure Mountain View wouldn’t want to take you on for a second offense.” His voice was clear, even. Not at all quavery like the voice of her Colin.

“Just watch your back, Cutney. We’re all watching you now.” Ilo’s voice was angry and barely controlled. Brandon Swain, Hurley and Jayne appeared at his side. Hurley whispered to him gently, and Brandon tugged at his arm. They turned, not even tossing her a second glance. The rest of the student body was shock-still. He wasn’t lying. Every set of eyes was on her as she quickly made her way down to the hall, and into the safety of her car before starting to cry. The new Farrah Cutney cried a lot in that first week after the aftermath of Homecoming.

But she didn’t regret her decision. It was the right one, even if she missed her friends, Will, and Colin. Everyone else would move on eventually. So Farrah Cutney learned to square her shoulders, avert her eyes, and say nothing unless it was absolutely required to fight back.

Farrah passed Stacey a few more cards, but Stacey seemed more focused on trying to decipher her mood than play bridge. “So, are you finally ready to come clean? I know there’s more to the story, Farrah.”

She sighed. They had been over this multiple times since that night. “No. Stacey, I told you. I was the Crotch, and it was only me running the show.”

“Officially. I know Cowher was in on it too, unofficially.”

“Why are you still so focused on this, Stacey? So you can somehow create another scandal, and run off to tell your new BFF’s, the Gracies?” Her voice turned cruel, sharp as a knife. Stop, Stacey, just stop. Shut up now.

But this time, Stacey forged on. “So it is true. Why are you still keeping up your story, Farrah? It’s been three months of hell for you, and the whole thing almost got you kicked out of school. Why would you sacrifice so much for the principal’s son?”

Farrah paused to take a deep breath, staring down at her lap. Her voice slipped into a practiced tone of indifference. “Colin was nothing but a pawn, someone I could control. I was just pulling the strings of a puppet.” 

“You looked down at your lap before you said that. That’s your tell, Farrah. You’ve gotten sloppy without Hurley and Jayne to keep you on your toes. You care about him, don’t you?”

“It’s not like that. I had Will, Stace. You know, former star of the football team. Tall, sexy as all hell?”

“I never said you had feelings for him, Far. But I think you just admitted that you do.” Stacey’s face brightened, her mouth widening into a smile.

“Don’t laugh at me, Moorehead.” Farrah looked down at her lap, and then at the forgotten playing cards between them on the plush carpet. She felt her face heating up. The former Farrah Cutney didn’t blush. She didn’t get embarrassed. But everything had changed.

“I’m not. I’m happy for you, actually. Colin’s sweet.”

“Except now he hates my guts. And there’s nothing I can do about it.” Farrah leaned against the end of her bed and sighed deeply. “With Will, it was just easier, you know?”

Stacey merely nodded. “He was the ideal, the fantasy guy everyone wanted. Meanwhile, Cowher is smart, sweet, funny... and has major anxiety issues. And what did I do? I went and screwed myself over because I had to protect him. I had to make him hate me, so I used his anxiety and his feelings for me against him. Told him it was all a ploy.”

“Why don’t you just be honest with him then? Tell him how you really feel. I don’t think he exactly hates you. The boy still stares at you like you hung the moon.”

“Really?” Farrah’s eyes snapped wide open. “I have to talk to him.” She stood, almost drunkenly in her haste to find her boots, rushing down the stairs. Stacey followed close behind. 

“I’ll give you a ride. I have to get ready for the dance anyway. Jane and Grace are getting ready at my house.” 

“And you risked coming over here in the first place? Stacey, that’s social suicide.” Farrah turned to look at her.

“I thought you might need a friend.” 

Farrah merely nodded, and gave her hand a squeeze, quick. “Mom! Stacey’s dropping me off at my friend’s house!”

“Which friend? God knows you don’t have many of those anymore.” Kate Cutney’s voice was tinged with bitterness as she sat at the kitchen table. Farrah knew she deserved it. She just screwed over everyone, didn’t she?

She paused before saying, “I need to make some amends with my friend, Colin. I’ll be back soon. I love you.”

“Back by 10. I love you too.” Kate’s voice softened a bit, and Stacey merely gave a wave, as they headed out the door.

By the time they reached the Cowher house, Farrah’s heart was racing. The trailer was lit up, meaning he was home. Stacey wished her luck as she dropped her at the end of the driveway, and the car eased down the street. She was alone now, but somehow more alive than she had been for the past three months. She felt happier, giddy even. Most of all, she was ready to be honest with him.

She knew what she wanted to say to him, so Farrah didn’t have to think too hard. She hoped he was alone, Principal Cowher would probably be at the school already for the dance. One apology at a time, she thought. She stayed silent as she approached the trailer door, rapping on it in time with her uneven heart. And she heard it, “Come in, Mom!” Thank God. He hadn’t heard Stacey’s car.

Farrah reached for a screwdriver that was no longer there. With disbelief, she realized Colin had finally gotten the door fixed. A pang of nostalgia hit her as she eased open the door.

“Colin?” Her voice was raspy as she stepped uneasily into the trailer. “It’s me. Farrah.”

His head whipped up. “Why are you here?” He had that stupid, lovely guitar in his hands again.

She opened her mouth, and the words flew. “I wanted to tell you the truth, which I don’t think I’ve been telling lately. I’ve just been going through the motions, and the truth is that I hate it. I was talking to Stacey, and she helped me realize that I need my friends. I need you, Colin. You are the best person I know. I shouldn't have hurt you, even though you were so wrong about me. I did handpick you. I’m not lying about that, I’m not, and I hope you can forgive me. But the truth is that you are sweet, and caring, and funny, and really good at singing and playing the guitar. The truth is that I fucked up, and I like you. Like like-like you, and I understand if you hate me, and I don’t deserve anything from you after what I said. I will turn around and never talk to you again, if that’s what you want, Colin Cowher. But I just needed you to know that. That you are the best person I know.” Farrah stopped rambling then, and gauged his reaction. 

Colin’s eyes were wide as saucers, but he recovered fairly quickly, clearing his throat. “I thought you were never going to come back.” The words hit her like a brick wall.

“I thought you didn’t want me here.” She walked closer then, motioning a hand to sit on the couch.

He nods, and scooted over, making room for her. “I didn’t want you here at first. I hated you for a while. But then I realized what you did.”

“What I did?” Farrah glanced up at him, scanning his face.

“You’re talking to the king of defense mechanisms, remember? You thought you needed to push me away, to push everyone away, to really sell the whole Crotch thing. To make everyone hate you.”

“Well, you’re right. I just wanted to protect you.”

“By hurting me.” He said the words flatly, dragging them out.

“And I know that was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know.” He put down the guitar, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. She can smell him, the faint tones of laundry soap and deodorant wafting off his shirt. She once teased him by telling he smelled. She was lying.

“How are you so sure? I wouldn’t trust an ice queen like me ever again.”

“You fell on your sword for me. The average person wouldn’t do that. You, Farrah Cutney, aren’t an ice queen. You are the white knight rushing into battle for anyone and everyone, even though you are scared shitless by anyone seeing you as kind or empathetic. You like being seen as someone to be feared, the queen bee. But that is not who you are. At least not to me.”

“I don’t know what to say.” She embraced him, breathing in. This trailer is where she felt the most at home.

 “Farrah?”

“Yeah?” Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

“I like-like you too. I always have.” He kissed her softly on the top of her head.