#meanwhile i need to sign a lease and make a schedule and cancel my roommates and enrollment like. literally now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lettuce-seize-the-day · 3 years ago

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literally the most important decision of my life and the weighted pros and cons list is 50/50, i have so much to lose either way, and the actual deadline to make the decision has long since passed so every day i wait is just making both choices harder to commit to 😭😭😭

#shut up hanna #my anxiety has never ever been so goddamn high #and even the wisest of adults like.#theyll have a strong opinion (again about 50/50 on either side)#and then when i lay out the whole situation theyre like. oh. ah. i see. that sucks #like!!!!!! no one NO ONE has any kind of new perspective to offer 😭😭😭😭#its like 'girl get ur degree locally and suck it up for 2 years' and im like ok but a theatre degree is different bc its not abt the degree #its abt the number of show credits u can put on ur resume and therefore the strength and size of the program and opportunities it gives u #and its also like 'the school in north carolina is such a better fit for u go there youll be miserable here!!' ok what if i end up back here #but in a lot more debt than i need to be #and then its 'student debt is something a lot of ppl have and u just deal w it after graduating' like and ill have it either way #but a much better chance of getting a job in my field if i go to north carolina #but still not a guarantee or even a super high chance since the field is so competitive #but do i wanna go like. in half as much debt yeah but for an experience that sucks and is less likely to provide opportunity??#but the chance isnt zero either!!!!#meanwhile i need to sign a lease and make a schedule and cancel my roommates and enrollment like. literally now #ughhh i did not mean to procrastinate this but they said the scholarships arent finalized til june 30th and i just assumed i would get some #stupid!!!!!!!!!!#part of me is like. maybe theres another state school that wouldn't be as bad #but its too late. like i do not have the time to research and apply and send in my transcripts again and then still be able to decide #but im close enough to graduating i dont want to like. transfer AGAIN after this yearor semester #jesus. JESUS #im so so so so so stressed im literally not sleeping or eating bc i CANT #but what i keep reminding myself. dicaprio is coming with me either way. its confirmed its done with both places he will be with me #i wish he could give an opinion as he will be living there for a year:(

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