#mean its the same for others'' or something like thag which. yeah! normal but also oh my fucking god

[perilegs]

having a bad memory is what it is but it's scary when your memories of people you were close to are far less clear than they used to be

[azaleavi]

Best Friend

Requested by anon: hi could I request a sebastian x female reader where they have been best friends for years and reader has been in love with him for a while and it hurts her thag hes dating someone else and one day she just blurts it out because its too much??? angsty with a happy ending hopefully???

Word count: 1.8k

Author’s note: I got my first request!! I was so happy that I started writing right away. Thank you so much for requesting dear anon I hope you like it.

Feedback is always appreciated and don't forget to reblog and like if you liked it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

(the texts in italics are either throwbacks or thoughts)

Being the best friend of Sebastian was a challenge. It wouldn't have been, normally, but you had fallen in love with him and that made things a hundred times harder for you. But how could you not, when he was the most charming man you have ever met. He was the sweetest human being and he was always there for you when youu needed him. You met when you worked on a movie together and immediately hit it off. Thankfully there were more than one projects you worked on alongside each other so you became even closer. You thought there could be something more between you than friendship, but Sebastian never seemed to look at you like that. You got your hopes up multiple times, only to be let down again and again. So now you just learned to not expect any romantic feelings from him.

I want to tell you something the text read from Sebastian. You heart leaped in your chest at the thought of him wanting to talk to you about something seemigly important. It had to be important. Right? Maybe he would tell you, that he sees you as more than a friend. You texted him back saying that he could come over right now if he wanted to. He sent you a thumbs up, meaning he was on his way so you got to cleaning up your apartment. It wasn't necessarily messy, but there were a few things out you had to put away. Living in different cities or even countries all the time never left you with enough time to completely clean up the only place you called home. A knock on the front door shook you from your thoughts. You walked to it with a deep sigh, excited, but also afraid of what Seb wanted to talk to you about. Opening the door you met with his beautiful face.

"Hi" he smiled as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hey. Come in." you greeted back. He walked in and took off his shoes as you closed the door. You walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He fidgeted with his hands, a sign that he was nervous. "What is it Sebby?" him being nervous made you even more nervous so both of you were just a bundle of nerves.

"It's just... I just..." he sighed, leaning forward and rubbing his face with his hands. Something was wrong.

"Hey, you can talk to me" you reassured him, putting your hands on his back and rubbing it.

"I accidentally told Chris that you are a virgin" he finally blurted out. Your hand froze on his back. He looked back up at you, only to see you trying to hold back a laugh. "Why are you laughing?" he asked, confused.

"He already knows Seb." you let out the laugh you've been holding in. His face lit up in realization and he relaxed against the back of the couch. "This is what you wanted to tell me?" you continued to laugh.

It was after he left that you let yourself feel the sadness of not getting the confession you were waiting for.

You loved having him as a friend, but you wanted more. You wanted to be the one that wakes up next to him every day, who gets to kiss him every chance you get. You could dream about it how many times you wanted to, but it would never happen. Especially when he had a girlfriend. You remembered when he told you.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he grabbed your elbow as you were walking away from set, done for the day. You turned around, noticing how your face was closer to his than it probably should have been. He seemed to notice too as he stepped away from you. Your heart broke a little at his movement, but you knew that it wasn't his fault. He didn't feel the same as you did. You couldn't blame him, really. Why would he love you? There were so many better people out there whom he could choose. You understood, no one ever noticed you, so why would he be different. It was your fault for falling hopelessly in love with him. You tried to stop, you truly did, but it was no use. You couldn't tell him either, your friendship would be forever ruined. Of course he would be nice about it and say that he would want to keep being your friend, but you knew that it would never be the same.

"Yeah, sure we can talk" you smiled at him. The two of you walked to his dressing room, that was empty. You sat down on a hair as he did the same. "So?" you urged him to talk after a few second of silence.

"I met someone" your world stopped at his words. He looked up to see your reaction, but your face was blank. Your thoughts were a mess as you tried to come up with a response, trying to not show how your heart just broke into a million pieces.

"That's..." you cleared your throat, blinking a few times to get rid of the tears that started gathering in them. "That's amazing Seb." you froced a smile on your face, praying that he wouldn't see through your mask.

"She is actually working with us so I want you to meet her." he smiled, excited at the thought of his best friend and girlfriend meeting. You wish you could be happy for him, but right now you couldn't feel anything else but pain.

That was 8 months ago and they were happier than ever. Well... were before she decided to break up with him out of nowhere. He has been heartbroken for a long time, but he had you helping him through it. It was hard on you, but he was still your best friend and you knew you had to be there for him.

You were currently at his house, having a movie night. He was feeling much better now, your presence helping him through the worst of it. He was eternally grateful for you because of it. You were cuddling on his couch, becoming much closer in the last few weeks. You didn't use to do things like this, but when he started initiating the touches you didn't object. You thought it would be only for a little while, just because he needed someone to be close with after the breakup, but it didn't stop and your feeling were only getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. The movie was playing, a cliché romance, as he ran his fingers up and down your arm, your head on his shoulder. The man on TV was confessing his love for the woman and it made you think about what it would be like if you told Sebastian how you felt. He doesn't need a girlfriend right now you reminded yourself.

"This is so dumb" he rolled his eyes.

"What is?" you asked back, not understaning his problem.

"They were friends before this. Why ruin a perfectly good friendship with these feelings?" he felt your whole body stiffen at his words so he moved away to look at you. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing" you tried to brush it off and go back to cuddling, but he wasn't having it.

"No, something is wrong, I can feel it" he pushed.

"Seb, seriously, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"No, you have to tell me when something is wrong, we are best friends and I don't want you to keep secrets from me-"

"I love you" you blurted out, your mouth moving without thinking. No, no, no, no this cannot be happening right now. He immediately stopped talking and just stared at you, frozen. You stood up from you place and started walking back and forth in front of him." I know you don't need this right now and I didn't even want to tell you, but you just kept pushing and I-" stopping your rambling, your eyes filled with tears. You let out a stuttering breath, your hands on your mouth. I've just ruined everything. I'm so dumb. You looked at him, still sitting in the same place, his mouth open in shock. "Please say something." you pleaded moving your hands to your sides, not being able to take his silence anymore.

"You are in love with me?" he whispered, eyes boring into yours. Heart sinking in your chest you looked down.

"Yes" you sighed, feeling like a ton has been lifted from your chest, the truth you've been holding in had finally been revealed. Two legs appeared in front of you and two hands grabbed your arms. You didn't want to look up, already knowing the rejection, that was coming.

"Look at me y/n" he asked quietly. "Please" he said when you didn't oblige. You finally looked up at him at his request, face now soaked in tears.

"I'm sorry" you whimpered, your heart fully broken. You valued his friendship so much and you didn't want to lose him over this, but it felt like it was already over. He pulled you into a hug.

"Do not be sorry for your feelings" he tightened his grip on you, making your tears fall faster. You let out a sob at his affection. This might be the last time you get to hug him like this so you gripped his waist as strongly as you could. He pulled away enough to look into your eyes. "Don't be sorry because I feel the same way." your heart skipped a few beats, your eyes widening. You couldn't believe your ears so you just looked at him confused. Sebastian smiled at your cute impression and swiftly pressed his lips to yours. You couldn't even close your eyes considering how shocked you were. Sebastian realized you weren't moving and pulled away, worried. He called your name in question which shook you out of your frozen state.

"What did you say?" you finally spoke.

"I said I love you too." he laughed.

"But you... you were... you... what?" you stuttered, not being able to form a coherent sentence.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you" he chanted as he pressed his forehead to yours, still laughing, which was cut short when you pressed your lips to his. You kissed for a minute, but you had to break away from the other for air.

"Why didn't we do this sooner?" you laughed, wiping away the remainer of your tears.

"I don't know" he leaned in to kiss you again, smiles on both of your faces.

Permanent taglist: @byatomoe

(let me know if you want to be added)

[xmalereader]

Javier Pena X Male Reader

- ONE -

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Dysfunctional

|| Masterlist ||

-

Summary: Javiers neighbor is a young twenty-one year old who’s been living in Columbia for a couple of years now, but he’s different from everyone else. He acts normal and friendly around others but behind closed doors he’s sick and slowly losing his mind.

Warnings: Language, Mafia, frontotemporal dementia, memory loss, panic attacks, episodes, gang member, angst, crossover, slow burn, slight fluff.

-

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Frontotemporal dementia ;

Is an umbrella term for a group of uncommon brain disorders that primarily affect the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. These areas of the brain are generally associated with personality, behavior and language.

The sound of a loud blaring alarm clock going off causes the twenty-one year old male to open his eyes. Groaning in frustration as he reached over his nightstand to turn off his alarm clock. Letting his arm drop against his bed he sighs deeply and stares at the clock that read 5:30AM he usually doesn’t wake up this early but today was an emergency.

He was waking up early because he usually has a routine. He would get out of bed and make sure to take a shower, cleaning away all of the dirt on him. Once he’s finished with that he throws on something comfortable, usually a pair of black jeans and a long sleeved shirt; a red color that he seemed to like often. After that he would wash his bedsheets and clothes so that everything Can dry before it starts to rain or anything else, the weather in Colombia was diffcult but some days he got lucky enough to get some sun.

He also makes sure to take his medication, he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen while he’s out today and buying some grociers and food for his little pet parrot that has been by his side since he can remember. He makes a list of things that he needs to buy but before leaving he double checks his duties and checks on Fenrir

Approached the cage he stands on his toes to see the parrot bird sleeping in its hammock, curled up as he remained quiet.

He can’t help but smile softly, stepping away from the cage as he turns around and grabs his jacket, wallet, and shoes. He slips them on and checks his pockets for his apartments keys which he finds hidden away in his front left pocket.

Once he has everything he exists his apartment and locks the door behind him, making his way down the steps as quietly as possible. He sighs to himself as he continued to walk down the steps, reaching the second floor. Once he reached the second floor he hears the sound of a door opening and closing. He looks over to see one of his neighbors and special friend leaving his apartment.

“A little early isn’t it, Javi?”

The DEA Agent froze In spot, hearing the familiar voice.

Javier looks up to see Y/n standing by the staircase with a small and tried smile on his face. “I should be asking you the same thing.” He says back with a grin.

The other could only shake his head and rolls his eyes. Living in Colombia for the past couple of years gave him the time to know Javier Pena, the biggest flirt in the building and probably playboy too. He was always bringing home a different women and doing his own business before moving onto the next, it didn’t bother him really, he was used to it, back where he used to live it was a regular thing for him to see. His old friends would always bring home different men and women to fuck, they’ve tried to convince him to enjoy himself and have a little fun but y/n wasn’t like that.

No matter how hard his friends tried he wouldn’t allow it. He’d rather die a virgin then sleep with someone that he didn’t know, he was the kind of person who’d want an actual relationship. Someone he can speak to and have moments but he knows he won’t be able to get thag, I mean he’s already dying so what’s the point?

“Just doing my usual things.” Said y/n, making the awkward silence around them disappear. “I’m usually up this early, you should know that given the fact that we’ve been living in the same building for the past couple of years.” He added.

Javier could only chuckle as he approached him and joins him down the stairs. “Yeah I remember, but it’s way to early for you and it’s dangerous.”

“You worrying about me, Javi?” Y/n questions with a raised brow and a smirk against his face.

“I’m just saying that it isn’t safe and that you should be careful.” Javier and y/n both reach the bottom floor and exit the building. Y/n looks up at the sky to see the twinkling stars. “You be careful too, even if you work for the DEA you should still be careful.” He reminds the other and slips his hands into his pockets.

“Y/n—“

“I can take care of myself.” He cuts Javier off before he could even say anything. Reassuring him that he was safe. Y/n always carried a weapon on him and no it wasn’t a gun since he’s not a big fan of them but something that’s sharp and easy enough to injure someone or maybe kill them depending on the situation that he’s in.

Y/n pats Javier on the shoulder and looks over to see Murphy waiting for him in the truck. “Looks like your new partner is waiting for you.” He points over to the truck, Javier turns around to see Murphy waiting for him impatiently.

Y/n’s never really had the chance to get to know the knew neighbors but having Javi around was enough for him to know a little bit about the new couple living in the second floor.

Javier sighs deeply and gives y/n one last look before nodding and making his way over to the truck. Y/n simply smiles and waves, going back to doing his own thing. He crosses the street and takes a short cut to the closest market place.

—

“He’s a strange one.”

“Who?”

“The guy you were just talking too, he lives on the third floor.”

Javier glances over to Steve, once he asked about y/n he felt a sudden urge to keep y/n protected.

“He’s not strange just anti-social.” Said Javier, leaning back in the passenger seat as he pulls out a cigerette. “Seriously? You get along with him but not with me?” Steve chuckled out as he drives.

Javier rolls his eyes at him. “I’ve known y/n for awhile, he’s a good guy it just takes awhile for him to open up and he’s had a difficult past life.”

“Past life?” Steve raises a brow in questioning, wanting to know more even though he knows that he shouldn’t pry into other people’s personal lives but y/n was a mysterious guy and just wanted to know more about him.

“Fuck off, Murphy.” Javier suddenly blurts out, he didn’t want to lose y/n’s trust by telling someone else about his life.

Steve frowns at his partner. “Alright, Sorry.”

The rest of the trip to the DEA headquarters was in silence, reaching their working area, Javi was the first to exit the truck and slam the door.

The rest of the day is spent with the two of them buried in work and trying to find ways to capture Escobar.

As Javier and Steve look through files their office phone suddenly goes off, causing Javier to look up from his papers. He glanced at the phone and then at the clock on the wall, reading 10:30 PM. Before steve could reach over an answer the call he’s quick to take the phone and answers it himself.

“Pena here.” He holds the phone with his shoulder as he continued to look through the files full of evidence that could help the two of them.

“It’s 10:30.” The sudden voice says on the other line, causing javi to sigh and nod. “I know, and?”

“You haven’t eaten in four hours,”

Javier sits up and adjusts the phone. “Yeah I know that—also stop using this number I told you to only use it for emergencies.” He scolds y/n and frowns, tossing the files on his desk as he stands. He hears the other male chuckle, “It is an emergency, Javi you haven’t eaten since 5:30 of the morning and don’t ask how I know, we’ve been friends for awhile now that I already know you to well.”

Javier can’t help but laugh a little. Y/n was always like this, acting like a mother hen whenever he notices that the other hasn’t eaten something properly In hours. It was annoying at first but after awhile he got used to it and it usually soothes him, it reminded him of home back in Texas when his own mother would worry about his health.

“I figured you would say that.” He responds back and rubs his eyes, rubbing away the tiredness. The other line was silent, knowing that y/n was glaring through the other side. Javier nods to himself, “my break starts in a few minutes, later I’ll head to your place and you can annoy me all you want.”

“Muy bien.”

Javier smiles at the sudden Spanish words that are spoken by the other. “Just don’t do anything stupid while you wait, last time your damn fucking pet tried to claw my eyes out when I entered your house.”

“Well he is a protective thing and like you said, Colombia isn’t a safe place to living in right now and I may be living on the third floor but rapists do know how to climb so might as well and train Fenrir to attack another human being when in danger.” Y/n explains to Javier who only gets a groan in response.

“Okay I get it!” Javier glanced at the clock and then at Steve who was giving him a funny look which he ignored. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

“Fine.”

With that he hangs up the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Girlfriend?” He hears Steve say as he read through his own stack of files.

Javier glared at Steve, “that’s none of your business, Murphy.” He mutters out and grabs his coat. He opens his drawer and takes his gun with him as well before leaving the building. “Where are you going?”

“Out! I’ll be back in a bit.” He shouts back and leaves the small office.

—

“You said that you’ll be here in an hour.”

Y/n is standing in the entrance of his own apartment with his door open for Javier to enter. Fenrir, his pet parrot was standing on top of his head as he watched him cook.

“I know but I had to get out of that stuffy place.” Javier walks around y/n’s kitchen and searches through his cabinets for any alcohol or coffee. “And you call me impatient.” Y/n murrmured out and noticed Javier looking through his kitchen. “How many times must I remind you, in my house we don’t own alcohol.” He states out with a frown, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Javier who smirks back at him. “You have to at least have some beer.”

“I don’t drink.” Y/n reminds him and goes back to cooking.

Javier lets out a frustrated sigh and leans against the counter as he watched y/n cook them some spaghetti. “Okay; so you don’t drink alcohol, your anti-social, and lets be honest an amazing cook. Anything else I should know?”

“Im a virgin.” Y/n shoots him an innocent smile as he turns off the stove and takes out some plates. Javier stands their frozen in shock as he watched him. “Your kissing right?”

“Nope.”

Javier chuckled nervously and stands up straight. “So you’ve never had any sex before? Like ever?”

Y/n shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. “What’s the deal anyway? I’m a twenty-one year old virgin who’s never had a partner before and has never been laid before.Their, happy?” He hands Javier his plateful of food and heads towards the dinning table where he sets down his own plate. He removes Fenrir from his head and sets him back inside his cage, making sure to lock it up.

“Geez kid you really need to get out more.” Javier sits down on the dinning table with his own plateful of food. “You sounds just like them.” Y/n whispers out, making sure that javi didn’t hear him as he makes his way back to the dinning table. “Just admit it, I’m strange.” He randomly says.

Javier spins his fork around and chuckled. “Yeah you are strange, but somehow I enjoy your presences. It’s weird.”

“Like me?”

Javier chuckled and eats his food.

Y/n smiles at him, he grabs his own utinsile and used it to spin up some spaghetti into his fork. He eats slow and enjoys the silence between the two, it wasn’t an awkward one but a comfortable one thag he’s been used to for the last couple of years. As the two ate they exchanged conversations about their mornings and what y/n’s plans were for the rest of the evening.

Y/n was planning on staying home for the day, not really in the mood to be outside. He’s usually outside, helping his own neighbors and buying new pens or pencils for his small sketchbook where he would jot down small moments that he’s had with the people. Even the smallest things mattered to him, no matter how much he’s forgetting he’s willing to writing it all down, hoping that one day he’ll emended everything.

As the two finished eating, Javier insist to help with the cleaning since y/n did cook for the two of them. Y/n allows Javier to clean the kitchen while he makes the himself some tea, he would offer Javier some but knowing him, he wouldn’t agree to having any of that disgusting tea bag shit.

“I should get back before Murphy starts to get all suspicious.” Said javi.

Y/n stands next to him as he drinks his tea and nods. “Don’t want to piss off your new partners so soon now do we?”

“Exactly, it’s already happened once.” Javier double checks his pockets, making sure that he had everything as he slips on his coat. “Don’t do anything stupid.” Said y/n.

Javier smirks at him. “My job leads me into doing stupid stuff.” He earns a giggle from y/n. He waves him off and makes sure to lock his door once Javier stepped out. He had his set his mug down and walks over to his front door, locking both locks before sighing deeply.

He rubs his neck tiredly and makes his way towards his bedroom.

He was suddenly feeling tired. Really, really, tired. Each step he took, took away his energy very quickly. He walks over to his desk and grabs his pills, biting his lip. He knows that he’s suppose to take them and how they help but in all honesty he just didn’t want to take them anymore. It made him feel worse.

Holding the small bottle of pills he squeezes it softly before setting it back down on his desk. Skipping one day wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Shaking away the tiredness he turns to walk over to his bed. Even though it was close by it felt like it was farther away than usually. Groaning, he stops moving and placed a hand on his head. He was suddenly feeling dizzy and anxious, his heart was racing and his breathing was becoming shallow. He couldn’t breath, he placed a hand against his own chest as he tried to calm himself down from the sudden panic attack. His vision was getting blurry and reaches out to hold onto his bed, to steady hismelf.

As he tried to hold onto his bed frame his arm suddenly feels numb, causing him to whimper in pain. Stumbling on his own two feet as he comes crashing down, his head slamming against the hardwood floors.

Y/n remains lying on the floor, he couldn’t feel anything. He can’t feel his legs or his arms. He could hear his heart thumping against his chest as he tears up, crying in silence before he pases it. Allowing the darkness to take over him, his nightmares taking over him.

He was afraid, he couldn’t move or speak. He was stuck like this for who knows how long, he would be stuck in his own nightmares for hours. Not knowing how to wake up from them.