#me; a monopoly mountain supporter: are we…….the bad guys?

[twilight-skies]

I’ve been binging Martyn’s pov of Third Life (having originally watched Grian’s) and man I wanna make an animatic of Dogwarts/the Red Winter War set to Go To War (by Nothing More) SOOO BADDD

[thebestworstidea]

So update from Willow-Land.

Cut for me being sick whiny and wordy

Friday night I headed home, tired, and turned on the heat. I had a bag of popcorn for dinner because facing food was like being at the bottom of a mountain. Closed m window. Remade my bed and climbed under everything. Chilled. Saturday I woke up with a sore throat, head ache and congestion  and plenty of dizzy.  Annoyingly feverish. (There were of course undocumented aches and shit like that because I have a chronic condition and don't keep up with that.) I ended up lying down and sleeping away most of the afternoon, partiality propped up to keep me from choking too much on the growing yuck in my throat. (Had toast and Miso soup; also water and juice. so much liquids. Drinking was the best thing and I couldn't do it constantly despite my best efforts.) had a thick cough, discussed with Ava about how long her kids had been sick, assuming I got it from them. Sunday much the same forgot what day it was started upping me C and zinc (I am staying away from my family as much as possible because I self isolate when I'm sick, even if I Want babying because they do not deserve this.) at some point I grab a toilet roll because I'm hacking up bits and that's never fun. I rearrange by bedding to the bet possible 'support m upper body without putting a crick in my back' as I can. Sitting there dizzy and tired even for me.

Monday is better, but much the same, blow nose, cough phlegm, toss blankets/sweater on and off. Wonder if maybe I should test for covid. We've got the tests. Continuing drinking as much as I can and peeing almost as much.

Tuesday rolls around; mother's coming back from Maine, I'm a little more perky (and a little less dizzy when I stand up) and get the news I REALLY SHOULD TEST BECAUSE A CERTAIN SOMEONE JUST TESTED POSITIVE. Dig out test. Read directions twice. Cry while collecting sample. Sit and hydrate with my head on the table. Woo. Look at that. Frikin. Positive. I've got the bird. Call the doctor because the directions say to. they recommend over the counter congestion meds and self isolation. Welp. Back to my room with a bottle of juice. I mean at this point I'm a bit feverish but can mostly breath through my nose. Still kind of thick around my ears and throat but that's it.  

So that's where I am. I feel like I'm recovering from a bad cold, only now everyone has to wear masks in our own house, and the guy who was FINALLY going to come and change our modem over can't, because there's a case of covid in the house. (this is not only completely reasonable, I Approve, it's just they've been rescheduling this appointment since like, June, and next month if we don't have the new modem set up, they're just going to cut our internet. Monopolies, ladies gentlemen and esteemed NBs. Bad for the environment, bad for you)

So whee. I have covid-19 and have been told to just treat it like a normal cold unless I start coughing so bad I can’t breathe. (came pretty close a couple nights, but really this just feels like the plhemy cold I usually get in febuary, only I haven’t for a couple years. I wonder why)

[haydeesworldofpoetry]

To where ever you may be

I’ve been meaning to write to you, but I deleted your number, and you along with it.

You ghosted me, and I know I should feel angry, sad and devastated

But you have no idea what you meant to me, specially because I’m an emotional wreck who gives too much emotion to meaningless moments.

When we went on our first date, I was so scared. I remember being in the car with my best friend singing “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo. I remember that this date was just supposed to be a way to forget about my ex who had broken my heart a week before I met you.

But our first date blew me to a place that was beyond this world. I learned about your family, who you were and I saw your tattoos. You talked to me about your room where the walls were decorated with Vinyl records, and how passionate you were about them. You told me that your favorite album would be where Travis Scott was a lil doll. After our date we hugged, and I didn’t really think much of that, until you suggested a second date, which lit up my being

I hadn’t taken it slow with anyone, my previous experiences were solely based on me kissing guys and us making out and calling that a relationship. Our second date was also great. Although you had drunk before I met up with you at your apartment, you were calm and yourself. I carried condoms in bag just in case you might’ve wanted to full me into anything. I saw the vinyls in your room, and you showed me your phantom of the opera vinyl which astonished me, because it was Sarah Brightman. That night consisted of nothing but wonderful conversations about how our arms could function as teeth, about your birthday party in a river close to your house and about how your grandma was an extreme Trump supporter and how no one in your family liked that. It also consisted of me letting you into my tiny world of self-judgement enduced by the self conceded grandmother that I have. Our hands were intertwined as the tv played and we spoke about kale chips and how you had some in the pantry. You told me about your kidney condition, and it made me worried. We didn’t kiss that night, you just gave me a hug, which sent warmth all over my body.

Our third date was a hike at some stupid mountain. And let me tell you I fucking hated that hike, but I loved the car ride. When you first started driving, I remember you put your pair of sunglasses on and I couldn’t help but smile cause they took me by surprise. I can’t explain to you what made us connect so well, but we did. You told me about you used to make some killer fettuccine Alfredo, and about how you were going to get your new car in September. You told me about how your moms visit was and how you loved drinking with her and how fun it was. I realized then that you might be an alcoholic, but I didn’t mind it. After all, you were just going to be here for 2 years. On hike you talked to me about things that I had no clue you know about. Such as the monopoly that Disney is, or how it was hard for you to hear from your superiors that they were dissapointed in you. You made me rock climb and be adventurous even though I was scared shitless to do so. We got lost and found the trail, for some reason being lost with you didn’t seem so bad. You told what a lil square was at the middle of the mountain was called. Pardon my memory if I don’t remember whatever the name was. But I remember on the car ride you told me how into music you were, and how you loved to make music. You told me about your deer tattoo, and how it symbolized your best friend passing while you were in vacation somewhere, I think it was Hawaii, but I’m not certain where it was you were vacationing. That hit me with a wave of sadness, it struck me that you’ve been through a lot even if you didn’t think so. I wanted to know more about you and I wanted to find out who your other friend that passed away was.

I’m not sure if these dates are numbered correctly, The lines between the second and the third are blurred. But our fourth date was amazing too. We spent over 4 hours talking about everything and anything. We set up my telescope and looked at the moon, although it wasn’t really all that clear. You told me that night about your ex girlfriend who worked on the ship with you, and how you got wasted on Jack Daniels and asked her what was wrong with you. I remember you told me the reason you broke up with her was because she didn’t sympathize with you when you broke the news to her that the love of your life passed away while you were together. She didn’t tell you that you couldn’t have done anything to stop it from happening or that it wasn’t your fault. All she said was “do you still have feelings for her?” And that was the reason you left her.

I told you about my dad and how he was a drug addict, I told you about he was murdered and everything along the lines. I never had connected with someone at such an intimate level...yet I feel like you might’ve felt uncomfortable after this date. And I won’t lie, I could see that was our last date.

But the hours flew by like time didn’t exist. The moon lit up the sky up above and the ocean down below. I couldn’t really have asked for a better last date.

After 3 days you didn’t text me, I could tell it was over. Then, you texted me. You told me you were somewhere on the ship and that was work for you. What you didn’t know is that I had been talking to someone who also worked on the ship. I knew the ship didn’t have 36 hour shifts while you were at port. I left you on read for 2 days, just like you did to me. Which I’m certain you disliked, because you never texted me back, and I never heard from you ever again.

But I want you to know that you’re an amazing person. I lost every single way to contact you, and that...I regret. Your soul is amazing and incredibly strong. I had never met someone who had the strength to keep going when they were so young. You’ve pushed yourself forward in your career, in your emotional being, and anything beyond that. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet you again

I’d really hope so, because your absence has heavy weight in heart, and not because I loved you (because I didn’t) but your presence is filled with ecstasy. Every conversation with you could go on for hours and never get boring. I’m not sure why you left...you even said that you were in awe with how fast hours flew by when we were together. But that’s okay, I understood the last night we had our date you said you were a serial dater.

I just hope you know that I’m not some regular girl who will get angry at you for ghosting me and tossing me to the side emotionally. I’m enduring and empathetic. I send out my best wishes towards you and your future partner, because god knows you deserve someone amazing and strong. I’m not saying I’m not deserving of you, but I know that things happen for a reason. You ghosted me for whatever that reason was for you. I just want to thank you. You brought light to my life when I needed it most, you made me smile when most nights I cried.

Thank you for being such an amazing, powerful, strong, caring, interesting, intriguing, overwhelmingly loving energy.

You will get what you deserve in life, and that is love and respect from those who surround you.

Ciao Kyle with a C,

You were an amazing persona to have met in my lifetime. I’ll try to never forget you.