#me: oh surely I'm faking it I mean I see people with /real/ chronic pain and I don't have that

[midnightwind]

the headache persists after I passed back out for over 12 hours

[cripple-culture-is]

i have a genuine question.

i'm very sure i'm physically disabled on some sort of level(?), and doing research, i have seen other disabled folk say that my experiences are valid. i have seen people say that unnamed/unknown/undiagnosed disabilities are still such, and should be included in the discussion. i know how limited i am in terms of all the things i can't really do, such as stay outside or even stand for very long, and i often get many headaches just for doing minor things like that. i'm also prone to chronic pain/illness, albeit quite mild, but i feel like any of it's not enough to earn me a voice. there's some sort of guilt i have when i want to claim a community label or discuss my experiences, as i wonder if i'm speaking over people who have it worse than me and definitely do know everything about themselves with the confidence to justify their place.

do you think someone like me belongs in disabled safe spaces? would i get harassed and booed out for using my privilege to fake and deceive my way in? am i not really disabled and/or should i seek a much lighter, open to questioning, unprioritized, etc. version of the wider community so that i can get what i need without intruding on those who need it more? i'm just afraid of offending people who are actually, clearly disabled. i assume it's possible for someone's life to be physically difficult to navigate due to complications without necessarily being classified as disabled. y'know?

Thank you so much for the question! I am very happy to answer it 😁

I'm going to preface this by saying there is no such thing as being "not disabled enough". There are disabled people with higher and lower support needs (I have low support needs, my wheelchair using relative has high support needs), but no one is inherently "not disabled enough".

People tend to think of disability as being linear. They see the disability spectrum as ranging from being "less disabled" to "more disabled". That's not true. Not everyone with the same condition will manifest the same way.

Not everyone with my medical condition is disabled. While I seem "less disabled" than my relative, I am still equally disabled under U.S. law.

There are always people who will have something worse than you. But the more you think about them, the more you begin to ignore your own struggles. It can fall into the realm of "toxic positivity". By thinking "Oh, I don't have it that bad, someone else has it worse", you kind of gaslight yourself into thinking you're completely fine when you're not.

I read actually a lot of internalized ableism in your comment. Happens to all of us. It honestly makes me cringe, but it's definitely not your fault.

From my own experiences, you belong here. People think that only visible disabilities are VALID disability. Those with "actual clear" disabilities. But most disabled people actually have invisible disabilities.

I am NOT visibly disabled. I don't use a wheelchair, cane, or any other type of mobility aid. I have an autoimmune disease that causes chronic pain, inflammation, and joint damage. I have been physically disabled my entire life.

Trust me when I say that you not being visibly physically disabled DOESN'T MEAN you aren't physically disabled.

July is Disability Pride Month, yes, it's the 31st, so the last day of July. But the point still stands. There's a banner on the Disability Pride Month pride flag for people like us. The white banner stands for invisible and undiagnosed disabilities. There is definitely a space here for you.

You aren't "faking" or "deceiving" your way into the disabled community. Will you be harassed? Maybe. There is some ableism within even the disability community. I've been harassed in real life for using things I have a legal right to, merely because I'm not "clearly disabled".

I can guarantee that if you saw me, you would just see a "standard", "normal", non-disabled 20 year old girl. 100%. I know because that's how most people see me. But I'm physically disabled under American law.

There is space for you here. You are welcome here. And I do not tolerate ableism of any kind on this blog, therefore, you're safe here, and your experiences are just as valid as any of the other physically disabled people here ❤️

Most non-disabled people don't run into barriers in society when it comes to what they can do physically. Chronic pain is ALWAYS considered a disability under U.S. law, and if (and hopefully when) you get a chronic illness/chronic pain diagnosis, you are automatically protected under the ADA. If you run into issues standing for long periods of time, you are likely disabled. I struggle with the same exact thing.

And I know most people DON'T struggle with that. Earlier this year, I saw 20+ people stand up for the entirety of a junior hockey game, including intermissions, and that was about 1 and a half to 2 hours long. I can only stand in one spot for about 2-5 minutes without my knees and feet hurting, to the point where I will always shift my weight from foot to foot when standing.

And I'm also going to be 100% honest with you. People will say "those who need it more". There actually AREN'T many accommodations for disabled people, and there's actually no shortage of accommodations for disabled people. They are just HIGHLY HIGHLY gatekept by the non-disabled government and withheld, sometimes even from those who need it.

You belong in this community, and you are welcome here ☺️