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tumblunni · 6 years

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okay to talk about EXACTLY HOW i would handle giving charon a big good boss fight and also sympathetic backstory and redemption and all that jazz

there are approximately ten million words beneath the cut, and also ten million raspberries in my shampoo, and these charon thoughts are just as sweet as that

alright so ALREADY i kinda did feel like he was sort of a friendly enemy when i first played the game?? like his Thing of being the constantly never fightable dude actually was kind of sympathetic in a way. it always just felt like he was Chilling Out and not giving much of a shit about being evil and also had nothing personal against you the player. he doesnt follow any of cyrus’s big philosophy and he’s clearly only here for the money and really phoning it in, and that kinda makes him not your enemy at all, even though he’s on the team youre fighting. Like I always found it a good establishing moment that in the Valley Windworks when they first introduce “hey this time there’s two galactic teammates here” and all, CHARON IS STANDING DIRECTLY IN EYELINE OF YOU RUINING EVERYONE’S PLANS. he’s just standing there! and of course he’ll never do anything to warn mars about you, the game just isnt programmed that way. but it fits really well with his character if you think of it as an intentional thing? just imagine this random gramps sitting there drinking tea while all his teammates actually Care About Things and Use Effort. He’s always criticizing team galactic’s plan too and like WHY IS HE DOING THAT TO YOU if not because Nintendo Wants Him To Be My Best Friend ok. Like he doesn’t fuckin trust anyone on his team so why would he spill the beans about his big secret plans he has to make money off of this villain plan and then bail before they actually do all the dumb shit with legendaries and such. Yes ok its PROBABLY just because its a videogame and they need to exposit stuff to the player that the character is probably just thinking and not saying out loud. But wouldnt it be so much better this way!!!! Also even when you finally face off against him personally in the postgame for his actual dumb money plan he’s still like ‘lol fourth wall breaking time im gonna not have a boss battle cos if you beat cyrus’s ass i aint got no chance’. Dammit nintend i still wanted to fight him but thats endearing so i cant stay mad at u! And he has several lines during it with stuff like “i like seeing children trying so hard BUT YOURE TOO LATE” and “youth like you can live in idealism but for me its all about the money”. Like man u remember that time i had a big angry rant about how his manga version was super OOC cos they didnt just choose to make him eviler but made him murder a child? like the only time anything involving children is mentioned in canon its him being mildly more polite to children!!! MILDLY FRIENDLY! LET ME HAVE THIS...

okay so YEAH the first big change would be just giving him more screentime and more fleshed out character in these early scenes. Make him a full on friendly character who is technically on the opposite side but has no beef with you and no loyalty to the greater plan of his team. So he’s just comically like “oh hi again! yeah lol today’s plan sucks huh?” and makes idle conversation while the main character villain admin of the day is actually doing important plot stuff. like have him along for everyone’s scenes not just mars at the start, dissappear for hours until the very end. And yes definately keep the thing of the game constantly lampshading that he’s a new character for the third version of the game, and everyone in the team thinks he’s useless and forgets he’s even there. it was annoying in the original game cos he actually didnt get any love from the writers themselves, but yknow you could give him an expanded role and rewrite that stuff to be more like “oh poor guy he’s the underdog”, yknow? am i the only one who felt inherantly sorry for him?? i mean he’s a tiny grandpa!!! and he looks so sad on his official art!! Oh oh and also add the additional running jokes and expanded characterization he had in his very brief anime appearance, which was honestly the only well written part of the entire team galactic arc. It fleshed out a bit of his relationship with jupiter who never really appeared alongside him in the game except to say “im not teaming up with you” at the end. Having the context that she finds him annoying cos she’s very serious and also very dedicated to cyrus so she hates this opportunistic bastard pretending to be dedicated when its an obvious lie. And also she thinks his laugh is obnoxious XD Oh also I liked how they expanded upon that one scene of Saturn being sarcastic at gramps and made it into an actual thing that him and charon most often work together and have a mutually sassy dynamic. I found it humanizing that anime saturn is very serious but can comically overreact to very minor teasing from this grandpa! I thought that was better than the games where he’s just serious or the manga where he was 100% changed to be 100% silly and kinda stole charon’s personality for reasons i will never understand.

ANYWAY! IN SUMMARY! show scenes of charon being endearing by being not really interested in the big evilness, being underdog-y by always failing at his smaller evilnesses and getting disrespected, and also maybe drop in some more interpersonal relationships between the admins to hint that charon does indeed have some friendship going on even if he’s a tsundere bitch who’d never admit it. Also maybe the other thing from the anime where they made him a cool computer guy? cos srsly it was lazy that the games just said “he’s the science” and never clarified wtf he actually does at his job. cos cyrus is already a science boss??? he kinda already did most of the big sciencey plans?? why does he need this man if its not for mechanical or legendary pokemon stuff OK HEY MAYBE COMPUTERS! also its funny to imagine him being a memey blogger but sun and moon actually made faba canonically that so i dont think you could improve on him. TAKE NOTES FROM BEAN MAN, NINTENDO

Also maybe you could hint at the rotom backstory before it actually happens? like could just show some mild implications that he is sad, cos the ‘friendly enemy’ thing would already be decent foreshadowing for him potentially having a soft spot. “Wah i am an emotionless evil money man” says local villain, while gossipping with Dawn about his coworkers and sharing lemon squares. But like I mean i don’t really want him to be LITERALLY that, i still like him being grumpy and guarded about his secret good heart. I’m just saying “friendly” as in.. sort of a disconnect between what he says his personality is and how he actually acts. The stuff he actually says is very grumpy but like.. hey he’s saying stuff to you when he doesnt need to, and nobody else on this team is casually talking to you as if youre not an enemy. Like he’s SUBCONCIOUSLY friendly and doesnt realise it? He’d never SAY “i am lonely hello please talk to me” but he’d sure as hell walk over to you and talk to you anyway. About grumpy things! Grumpily! And maybe express occasional compliments in a sort of “haha im surrounded by idiots you’re way more down to earth than all these adults who act more like children”. Cos in that fourth wall breaking moment he has, he respects that you’re a badass and decides thats why he’s not gonna have a boss fight. “You’d just kick my ass, so lol fight these grunts instead while i run away and do my evil plan” That is the kind of sympathetic charon i want!! He’s doing a douchey thing by breaking the script of how boss battles work and making everyone else fight you instead even though he knows that they’ll lose. But he’s also likeable because breaking the script of boss battles is unexpected and comedic! And he’s also accidentally being complimentary to you so its like SIMULTANEOUS JERK AND NICE AT THE SAME TIME. Thats the good stuff!! That quality grumplegramp content!!! if he got redeemed and just 100% changed his personality to lose all the sass and sneakyness then that’d be boring yo...

OKAY WHERE WAS I? Okay hey once you’ve established that, maybe now you have a basis for the sad foreshadowing!! Like you could have one scene where he’s suddenly NOT friendly, he’s not just grumpy in the funny sort of way but actually seems cold and stoic and actually does something useful to the team’s mission or whatever. Sort of a ‘whoa what’s wrong with him today’ thing and it could be subtle cos on the first playthrough you’d just think he was being a jerk cos he’s a jerk and all. but maybe it happens on a scene of team galactic doing some evil plan in eterna forest/other place that’d potentially relate to the rotom sidequest. like he’s just really fuckin depressed to be reminded of his one big failure in life. OH maybe it could actually be at the unnamed junkyard thats mentioned in his backstory but doesnt actually feature as an area in the original game? It could make sense that it’d be part of their plan cos team galactic attacks various energy sources and other technology related places to find the stuff they need to make the big world erasure machine. could just be simply them robbing some old generator parts after their attempt to take the whole power plant failed.

Oh and also maybe add a lil something to his last scene at the galactic lab? Cos like.. what we already have in the game has potential to be a moment where he did a good thing but no its not. Like when you look at it, hey he kinda helped you out here by being all “hey lol saturn the kid is here, bye im not stopping u, feel free to take the lake trio”. Even if saturn is the one who actually SAID feel free to take the lake trio and actually had a good hint at redemptiveness moment and all. Please never take that away, that was good, you just coulda had both of them do it, yknow? And we dont wanna make charon go full good guy all of a sudden when he hasnt even finished his characetr arc, so instead make it more of a moment where its like “im a bad guy but this is going too far”. Like maybe ACTUALLY HAVE A PAYOFF for the foreshadowing that he has no loyalty to cyrus and is blatantly plotting to betray him at some point. He never actually did!! He only tries to capitalize on cyrus already being defeated in an entirely optional sidequest that fails at delivering a proper payoff.

So hey! My idea! Add some complexity here by making it clear that charon is evil in a more petty and mundane way and not in a.. like.. actually dangerous way. Once things start getting actually dangerous he starts chickening out! Like he’s a jerk who does mean things to get money but he’s just MEAN and not friggin murderous or worldending. Give him a moment of “oh shit cyrus was actually serious oh god how do i get off of this train”. Like it seemed that he never really believed that team galactic would ever truly create a new world, and he certainly didnt give a shit about it, he just thought he found an easy opportunity for a paycheck in some dumbass’s deluded plan that’d never really work. But OOPS i guess it actually is happening, oh fuck! Give him a bit of a crisis where he realizes what he actually helped this man do, but not like a full on “everything ive ever done is bad and i dont wanna be evil anymore”. Not YET! Just friggin.. “oh fuck i cant spend money if the universe doesnt exist and also i am dead”. “PLEASE HELP ME CHILD, CYRUS IS GONNA TAKE AWAY THE MONEY!!” xD It’d be fitting for his character and a good light moment of comic relief after the emotional and dark stuff happening around this section of the game. Like he already kinda does that by having that scene of saturn snarking at him, but it could be even more funny! Move the first him and saturn bickering scene to earlier on and have this be like a satisfying scene of saturn actually winning? cos in the anime it was always charon being smug and making fun of him while saturn gets all grumpy about it, now it could be the reverse with smug charon having a breakdown and realising his whole money plan is in shambles and its his own fault.

Also maybe it could have additional payoff with Charon actually helping you take down cyrus? Again, not actually because he’s switched sides but because he's still evil but evil for different reasons than cyrus. That good ‘reluctant teamup with minor goofy villain to take down big actually scary villain’ thing. With the added bonus that the minor goofy villain is objectively a worse person than the scary villain and the scary villain is still redeemable, as opposed to in the manga where they used this same trope in the form of “cyrus is good now and we’re making charon the big scary villain to prove how good cyrus is cos charon is worse”. That was dumb. It was especially dumb cos WHY ON EARTH would you pick charon for this??? like they still had moments of him being comedic and wimpy yet at the same time wanted us to believe he was legitimately threatening? ANYWAY my idea for this is that charon’s computer skills could pay off and it could be something like “oh i always put a failsafe kill switch in my computer just in case i need to grab the money and run”. Like him being a paranoid untrusting selfish asshole was actually the reason he was able to save the day! Also it would explain why cyrus’s machine only fails and summons giratina in platinum version. the manga actually did say that charon sabotaged the machine so thats one actually good thing that came from it! Congrats u filled one plothole while making twenty more XD

OH and perhaps this same section could also foreshadow the rotom thing? like I was thinking about how he could actually choose to give up and let you take the lake trio and have it still be 100% in character. It could be an extension of his “shit, i didnt think things would get this serious, please save me from the consequences of my own actions!” moment. Cos I think that any normal dumb greedy money man would still be horrified at the idea of mutilating a thousand year old majestic unicorn of mythology and then flushing it down the toilet when it outlives its uselessness. Like he doesnt do it because he wants to help you save the day or anything, just cos the idea of killing the lake trio is just too evil for even him. It could be kind of a meaningful moment about how cyrus is doing all this for good reasons yet they caused him to do these actions that are even more evil than the actual dude with evil motives. And maybe you could establish this through a scene of him and cyrus inetracting, which could also help amp up how intimidating cyrus is, in preparation for the big climax? Have charon trying to wimp out of “disposing of the useless specimens”, but cyrus is having none of it. Like it could start off funny with him making up loads of other excuses cos there’s no way he’d admit he’s having Feelings and all. “Wait but let me have them! if theyre useless to you then i can just sell them right?? ha ha thats the only reason im saying this, lol you know me i’d never be swayed by any sentiment” But cyrus sees through it instantly and gets right up in his face like fuckin Raw Cold Fury, no you are NOT going to disobey me. He is PISSED OFF because the only reason he kept this useless senile old bat around is because he’s the only one in this group who isn’t a simpering moron at the mercy of their pitiful heart. If you can’t even do that, then what’s the use of you? So everything charon tries fails and all he accomplishes is getting fired on the spot for even TALKING ABOUT defying his boss. And cyrus just orders saturn to dispose of the lake trio instead. Saturn of course is smarter and says nothing in defiance, but then the both of them work together to let you take the pokemon and just act like they failed to stop you rather than doing it on purpose. And its kind of an uncharacteristically quiet and intense moment between these dudes that are usually at each other’s throats with funny banter. They’re united for a moment but for very different reasons. Charon knew that cyrus wasnt a good guy from the very beginning and he just underestimated him, and is now feeling in over his head and worried this could be the end. And saturn always thought cyrus was good but is starting to struggle with doubts. And maybe charon actually tries to warn saturn about it? Like “hey i knew this all along but i never told you but HEY CYRUS MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL US ALL” and saturn starts on his usual speech about cyrus being the greatest but he starts to question it and AAAAA! but ultimately this moment isnt the moment where he makes the right choice, and he does end up going back to cyrus and continuing the plan. and also charon is on the edge of actually doing something good and trying to stop cyrus’s big ol doom time (albiet for selfish reasons of No Money In The New World) but he also wimps out from this chance and instead decides to grab as much cash as he can and run the fuck away, as if its even possible to outrun the destruction of a whole dimension. but at least him and saturn agreed on the lake trio rescue operation, thus their moment of almost-redemption helped the player even if they didnt actually turn good. AND then you’d have the surprise moment of charon actually stepping up at the last minute and doing his thing to sabotage the machine and all. which again doesnt really solve the whole thing and doesnt really make him turn good but at least it downgrades the threat from ‘cyrus actually succeeds in destroying the world’ to ‘okay we just need to deal with a slight case of poke-hell and one collossal centipede’. Srsly man sinnoh’s plot has the highest stakes cos in platinum you straight up actually fail and cyrus actually would have destroyed the world if not for giratina! Oh and also a random note is that i think it’d be funny if charon helped you out while still running away? like you just learn about the machine sabotage being his responsibility cos it flashes his goofy hacker logo from the anime or something. Maybe instead he hacks your Poketch and is like HEY HELLO IM GONNA SPLODE THE THING BUT NOT COS IM A GOOD GUY, BTW I AM A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY PLEASE DONT LET CYRUS KNOW I DID THIS

SO YEAH! whatever! whether or not we get that added bit of teamup with charon in the climax, we’ve still given him a bit more screentime so the player actually remembers him and actually cares about doing his optional sidequest in the postgame. so him not having a boss fight would be less of a letdown and all. But having the teamup plot would be a good opportunity to turn the wifi event into not a wifi event! maybe during his panic charon drops the key to his secret lab and thats how you get it? cos really it makes no sense at all that the magic wifi gods can just hand you something you’d have no idea existed and never have an opportunity to get. none of the other wifi items are literally a thing owned by a significant character that needs to be teleported out of his pocket by plot magic! Also it sucks that a chunk of important backstory would be hidden in a wifi event so if they still wanted rotom’s alt forms to be a wifi event then JUST make it the ability to get the forms and not the charony diary bit. Cos it makes no sense that the ENTIRE REASON CHARON EXISTS is to introduce the rotom form event yet you’d have no clue he was connected to rotom until after youve already finished the event. It gave no damn indication you had to take the key to this particular dude’s lab in team galactic!! ANd click on an otherwise unmarked wall!! Put the diary somewhere else and hey there’s a Charon Clue(tm) and now you can actually find the damn event, there you go, fixed. Also annoying cos nothing in the event tells you you have to go somewhere entirely different to catch the one rotom in the game, and click another unmarked piece of scenery that only has a staticky screen to indicate rotom if you happen to be playing at night. Seriously this is why serebii.net was such a lifesaver!!

Okay so WOOP there we go, here we are at a point where the player has seen more of charon and had oppotunities to grow to like him as a character and be suspicious that maybe he could have some sympatheticness. And if he drops an Importante Key Itemme right before the end of the game then thats a hint that postgame stuff exists involving him, and at least one clue where to find it! All the rotom diary stuff would play out exactly the same except that its less of a hell to find, lol.

BUT THEN the big difference in Stark Mountain is that now you have the full context of charon’s backstory and the game actually reacts to you having that knowledge. Like maybe if you dont do that step first then either charon never appears at stark mountain until you do, or you get an abbrieviated version of the quest without the redemption plot? I was thinking actually maybe make it one of those daily repeatable quests, to avoid the player doing the quests out of order and permenantly losing the chance to redeem gramps. Like if you dont see the rotom diary then instead of a big actual quest you just get some five minute “oh we’ve seen team galactic sneaking around stark mountain, defeat them for Some Money Or Something hey thats weird that they were only stealing money hey yknow who’s all about the money? charon! maybe go follow up on his Importante Key Itemme to continue the plot.”

SO THEN once you return Emboldened By The Knowledge Of Good Gramps, you get the proper thing. And... it would actually play out totally the same as in vanilla platinum. Charon doesn’t have a boss fight, all his minions leave him and say he sucks, he gets anticlimactically taken out by someone else in a cutscene, and his last moment is someone making a crack about him being so frail and useless that the hot volcano breeze could knock him over.

BUT THAT ISNT THE END

Its just a fake out that its gonna have the same funny ending as every other charon appearance, and the same lack of him being remotely threatening.

cos NOW WE FINALLY GIVE THE MAN A GODDAMN BOSS FIGHT

and yknow how i said i hate the manga where he’s all super evil and owns three legendaries and kills a guy? okay take away all that stuff but KEEP THE MOMENT OF GRANDPA GETTING TO DO SOMETHING BADASS FOR THE ONLY TIME EVER

Maybe he surprises everybody by actually not being down for the count! And by now he’s just SO pissed off from a whole game’s worth of failing and being disrespected that he does something desperate and stupid at the last minute. If he was meant to be the dude who invented the red chain, maybe he could use it to control heatran even if looker took away the magma stone? like i feel it’d be in character for charon to secretly steal a prototype red chain for himself during the whole “oh fuck my boss is legit destroying the world i need to get out of here” thing. Grab some stuff to sell now your last paycheck is dissappearing into an ominous void, lol. He didnt expect to actually be using it, and if the actually completed red chain puts enough stress on its weilder to make them cry blood then this thing must be even more risky to use! so its a really huge holy shit moment of tiny gramps actually doing something intimidating! and his boss fight could actually be using heatran and actually having heatran get to goddamn appear in this sidequest. it was soooo underwhelming to have to return thru the dungeon a second time to actually see heatran, this time without any story stuff to break up the long walk...

also this entire thing could be a great climax to his character arc and sort of a moment of “okay THIS was actually his motivation all along!” Cos I always felt like Charon’s real motive was low self confidence? Like he’s always on about money but he seems to focus more on SUCCESS instead. Fame and success. “Ha ha i am the greatest scientist and i want people actually aknowledge me” is a thing he repeatedly brings up and also that other characters directly demonstrate in how they act towards him. It just feels like he thinks he can buy that with money if he’s failed his whole life in earning it. And the old “acts egotistical because he actually hates himself” character archetype would work really well as a sympathetic interpretation of his character. It would be like how he’s ‘subconciously friendly’. The thing he actually does (being boastful) is because of a different reason (not believing his own lies and being super insecure about his self worth), but he keeps it so well hidden that not even he realises that its really what he feels. Similar to how he acts grumpy because of a different reason, because he actually DOES want friends and he’s just guarding his emotions under a million walls cos he’s scared of being hurt again. And scared of how he knows he’s a weak willed person who might betray his friends again for his desperation for money. Which is really a desperation to feel valid as a human being, which is really just ‘i want friends’ again under another coat of paint. So depressingly he caused his own problems because of the same character trait that was once a positive in his life! I think he works well when interpreted from that angle, he’s like a dark subversion of a pokemon professor or of your classic ash ketchum figure. Like “the power of friendship” is what turned him evil, and also turned him into a guy who acted awful to his friends. And it could add to this thematic thing if “loving pokemon” was also referenced throughout his plot in a negative sense?

That’s actually one other good thing about the manga, they removed his greedy grumpyness (bad) but replaced it with the same motive as the villain of the 2nd movie (weird flex but okay). Aka “a guy who collects legendary pokemon just as trophies and has forgotten how to treat them like genuine friends”. Even if that wouldnt be his main character concept in this hypothetical rewritten game, it could still be a secondary trait that’s used to suppliment the main emotional arc. Like instead of just saying “money money money” you could flesh out more scenes of him actually talking about HOW he’s gonna get the money and what he’s gonna use it for. Via collecting all the rare pokemon, and to collect more rare pokemon. Which will somehow (in his twisted cynical perception of how the world works) make him a person of value and get people to respect him. It could also tie together pretty much every scene he already has! Cos his backstory is finding this pokemon friend... who was a rare unknown species. And maybe as a kid he decided to become a scientist initially just out of excitement to learn more about his new friend and show them to the world! But then the realities of the difficulties in being respected as a scientist gradually wore him down and he became more cynical, more obsessed with recognition, more believing that the only way to get it was by being an asshole and he’d just get taken advantage of if he kept being soft. And he started to forget why he really wanted that fame in the first place, and instead it just became an obsession, a vain hope that he’d hate himself less if he accomplished his life’s dream. When really from the player’s perspective its obvious that even if he succeeded he’d still be depressed when he realized how he’d lost everything in the process. And it’d be a more realistic sort of way he could have turned from a good kid to an asshole gramps. There wasnt any single day he suddenly made the decision to change, it was just a gradual wearing down of his morals over the years. he became more obsessed and more cynical that normal moral ways of doing things would never get him what he wanted. he started making small sacrifices to his personal sense of morality, and eventually reached the point where he’d completely abandoned it all without even noticing the gradual change. And somewhere along the way he forgot that he started this because of his pokemon friend, and discarded it as “not good enough” in favor of this vain quest to acquire a million other rarer pokemon and just friggin put them on a shelf to boast about them and feel less empty inside. And then also his redemption was a gradual change too? After he reached that point of completely betraying his own sense of goodness, he gradually got sadder and more tired with living this way. By the time you see him ingame he’s not remotely happy with being evil and he’s just a poor dude who’s deluded that being evil is the only way to escape the sadness rather than the cause of it. And thats why his whole ‘oops im accidentally subconciously befriending my coworkers and also the enemy’ thing kinda set him on the road to eventual redemption, cos its the first bit of small upliftingness he’s had in ages. sorta recharges his Ability To Care and he starts realizing what he’s doing and feeling regret. But yeah throughout the main game he never actually acts on his doubts and just repeatedly misses the chance to get redeemed and makes you Kinda Frustrated, similar to zuko or peridot’s redemptive arc? And ultimately reuniting him with his old best friend and showing him that its not too late to fix what he broke = the actual catalyst for his changes to fully stick and he completely switches to the good side.

BUT ANYWAY thats why he needs a boss fight first!

Something like 50-70 years worth of self hate and frustration from devoting himself to a super incorrect way of defeating that self hate, and sacrificing EVERYTHING for the sake of it, and being disrespected the entire time, and being terrified that you’re getting old and running out of time, and almost dying to some guy’s weird void plan, and losing the only thing you had left aka the team galactic job and a few maybe sorta kinda friends you had, and now being disrespected AGAIN by those same people you thought were friends (but never actually admitted it to them) and then also bitchslapped by a frog?? Also this place is real fuckin sweaty?? Yeah stark mountain is a great climactic point for his entire frustrations to boil over and be a bigger eruption than the actual volcano!

Thus we have Grand Dad Gets Serious And Has An Actually Interesting Boss Fight!

but also grand dad is being emotionally open and whoops accidentally might be tearing down those walls he built up around his big ol soft as fuck heart

like the battle would possibly be more ‘you talk him down into giving up, realizing he was wrong, quitting being evil, and going home to his friend that he misses so much. and finally realizing that thats actually the only way he could ever really defeat the self hate that drove him this far in the first place. also he’s not worthless and his friends always believed he was the awesome dude he always wanted to be’. Yknow, rather than actually defeating him and all. I mean you still do that but i think it’d be a case like with the giratina fight where even if you lose or run away you get the same result, just slightly altered text? Just as long as you come here with rotom in your party your victory was already a foregone conclusion. you just get a really cool boss fight as your reward, yknow? cos seriously I WAS WAITING THE WHOLE GAME FOR THAT DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!

obligatory link again to the cool song i think is a great summary of all of my headcanons for this man’s character arc and would also be badass backing music for a hypothetical boss fight:

youtube

context: it makes more sense if you imagine it as his own internal thoughts of all the stuff he’s been running away from accepting in his own feelings. and/or what he THINKS that the player and rotom would be saying to him, so he’s shocked into speechlessness by the fact that they actually do think he deserves a second chance and has the potential to be good.

actually that could be a really good ending to the fight!!!

like when you get through to him and convince him to stand down, he cowers in fear thinking he’s gonna get the karmic payback for everything he’s ever done. and he tries to run away from reuniting with rotom. half of him is scared that his friend hates him and the other half is.. well..

i think it would be thematically appropriate to end it with a hug

just an image of this lil toy robot pokemon hugging this scared old man, and he’s just so empty and doesnt know what to say. its the last thing he ever expected. and then his shock turns into pain and sadness, as he was really the most scared that his friend actually would forgive him. that everything he ever did really was all for nothing, and he should have done this years ago and saved all that lost time. he’s so scared because he thinks he doesnt deserve forgiveness and he doesnt know what to do now its happening. so he just lets out all those tears he’s never cried over all these years, and the scene ends with him desperately hugging his best friend and never wanting to let go ever again

And then that’d be the big moment that was really the turning point for him, though of course that wouldnt be the end of his redemption and if there was any further postgame content you could show various scenes of him atoning throughout that. or just some images in the second credits scene after you beat the postgame stuff. i’d kinda like if there was some moment of him apologising to the rest of team galactic and joining them in their attempts to rebuild the team into something good. and maybe an extra postgame segment where this redeemified team goes on some bigger quest to try and rescue cyrus from the distortion world and heal his pain too. i think you could get a lot of good scenes out of a redeemed charon being along for the ride! like you’d obviously have cyrus being skeptical that this dude really has changed so much, and probably an extension of that earlier scene where he’s pissed off that the one guy he thought agreed with him about emotions being foolish is actually being the most emotional of everyone. but i think because of that they could also have scenes of relating together and actually starting to form a friendship in the end? like i can see charon feeling guilty for never trying to reach out to cyrus before, and also believing really strongly that cyrus can be redeemed cos like ‘yo i’m way worse than you and i was able to change, please believe that its a possibility for you too!’ Also cyrus likes machines so i think he’d be happy to meet rotom and become friends. And he has that whole grandpa related backstory so it might help a lot towards healing those scars and reuniting the two of them if he starts forming a friendship with a different gramps? THERES A LOT OF GOOD THEMATIC LINKS BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT TEAM GALACTIC MEMBERS THAT ARE NEVER EXPLORED IN THE ORIGINAL GAME

also in the original version of this plotline it was a fanfic/fangame idea of an alternate universe swap where dawn/lucas/other customizeable protagonist is a galactic grunt instead of the hero. so a lot of the details were different but in that version the protag was literally adopted by whichever galactic admin they picked as their main friendship route. entirely because of self indulgent ‘i wish these guys were my dad/sister/grandpa/whatever’ feels cos sinnoh helped me thru a tough time as a kid. soooo i cant really do that charon grandpa idea where he also renovates the Old Chateau into a ghost pokemon sanctuary and becomes like an actual good pokemon professor. (also rekindles his friendship with prof rowan and agatha from the kanto elite four cos thats just a random headcanon i have) BUT i could still do all that except the part where he adopts u cos canon dawn/lucas already has a mom lol. And i think it’d be more fitting of canonverse protag to adopt Cyrus? Like obv in the canonverse itd probably be the main boss of the team who gets the bigger redemption plot and is canonically the best friend EVEN THO for tumblr user tumblunni in particular it is All Grandpas All The Time. And i like the idea of Cyboy being a survivor of child abuse who tries to become a good dad just like his parents werent. But i also like the idea of dawn’s mom adopting him as her new big brother and him getting to experience a genuine loving family for the first time! I think itd work that way cos cyrus is meant to be 27 even tho he looks older, and i dont think dawn’s mom is that young and also i just see no chemistry between them as any sort of ship. (and headcanon cyrus as asexual anyway) But also the family does still keep in touch with all the other galactic friends!!!

hhhh i wrote So Many Word just about grandpa redemption holy shit i’ll probably die if i try and cover all the other teammates now

ok i will leave it here but just know i also have Deep Headcanons about all of them, even if charon gets the most. somedaayayyyay i will share with you more!!

#commander charon #why. why am i like this #okay apparantly i have used that exact tag like 15 times already on this blog and im betting most of them were also about charon #please love charon

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byunrelatable · 6 years

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ok on the ask game, 5 + 19 !! this is gonna get long bear with me oof. i’ve confessed to two people, one was a boy that i was once close with but he ignored me after we broke up :”) it’s fine he’s an ass anyway. but the second person is my current gf and holy uh this is actually kinda personal so i won’t go too in depth but we can say i did it bc it was too much not to anymore (pt 1/?)

.hi kam!! i love u thanks for the asks and thanks for sharing your story!! im really glad things worked out with you and your gf, sounds like you two have truly been through thick and thin together, you must have a very strong bond. that makes my heart feel very warm, im so happy for you!!

im going to put the rest of your asks, as well as my responses to the questions, under the cut so this doesnt become a super long post. to answer 5 and 19 in short, i will say that my answer to 5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? is yes, and its an embarrassing story, it also involves underage drinking so anyone uncomfy with that should not look under the cut!! and my answer to 19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted, i’ll probably keep that answer pretty short but true to my word, everything is going under the cut from here on out. thank you for sharing your story kam

send me two way asks!!

here’s the rest of kam’s asks:

we didn’t date then bc things were complicated (like i said, pERSONAL) and i,,,, did it a second time with her months later,,,,, i wouldn’t have if my friends didn’t push me to do it but they did annnddd we started dating then!! and haaaaa i uh,,,, did it once more at the end of feb this year,,,,,, bc we weren’t together at the time (this is also very personal so i could tell you abt the whole thing privately if you wanted) (pt 2/?)

in short i woke up and she asked me to be her gf again sOo, lol it’s all fun. aaannnddd here we go okay i literally just texted my gf as i write this oof but i think one of the fondest memories i have is both kinda negative but i view it positively? it was around the end of january in 2016 and we had been talking for a month or so. at the time i wasn’t in the best state of mind. (pt ¾)

i don’t remember the conversation word for word, but i have recollection of crying a lot at school waiting for my exam and just realizing how much i cared abt her and her about me and i think that marks the moment we became best friends rlly and damn who would even think to get to where we are now oof not me?? (pt 4/4 i went all out i’m sorryajsndnf)

what a story!!! like i said before, im really glad it all came together in the end, and that you have such a wonderful supportive gf

5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? yeah okay. from seventh grade until 11th i had a huge crush on this boy in my class. he was always doing crazy cool exchange programs. in 8th grade he went to school in coasta rica for a year, we e-mailed (lmao) all the time while he was gone. he came back in 9th grade and i was so so excited to see him again. he left again in 10th grade, and that was a hard year for me. my dad and step mom (who practically raised me) were getting divorced and i was going through some weird shit with an older guy (gross. he’s gross and predatory and i didnt know better cause i was like 15/16). so i started drinking and sneaking out and partying.

the kid i had a crush on came back in 11th grade and i was ecstatic. we picked up our friendship where we left it off. but here’s the kicker: he was (and probably still is? but probably isnt as much of a hardass about it) a devout christian, and drinking was NOT in line with his values. he had heard from his mom that i had been doing stuff like that, and he brought it up and said he was concerned. i told him i’d stop, because i was young and i had had a crush on this kid for over four years at this point, and our mutual friend kept dropping hints that he was interested, and.. sigh. so i told him i’d cut the partying and he said he had to see it. fast forward to spring, i applied and got into a program which sends students to japan for two weeks, and this kid also got in, and i was STOKED to be in japan with him for two weeks. the first week it was fun. our last night in tokyo, i wanted to spend some time alone with him, and the rest of our friends were planning to buy some sake (we were literally 16 but they did it, they didnt get carded) and drink it at the hotel, and they wanted me to distract him cause they were worried he’d rat them out, and i was so down to try that because i wanted to spend time with him anyways. so i asked if he wanted to go on an adventure–just go get on a random subway line and see where it leads. he kinda blew me off, which stung. then in an effort to get him to hang out with me, i told him what the other kids were planning (they had specifically told me not to tell him). i told him, and said “so i really think we should just go somewhere else so we dont have to be around that.” he didnt listen to me, instead he followed the rest of the group into the convenience store and they were like uhhh, then he went up to my friend hannah and was like “so you’re buying sake huh?” and she looked at me like what the fuck arianna and i looked at her like im sorry i couldnt get him to come with me and he was like whatever and then he left the convenience store and our other friend jay went with him. i assumed they went back to the hotel. so i went back as well but they werent there. when i asked someone else where they were, they said “oh, they went out into the city on a random subway line just to go on an adventure!” the literal exact thing i had suggested. i was livid. moreso, i was really hurt. so i decided to say fuck it and get drunk, cause i had been abstaining from alcohol ALL YEAR for the sake of this ONE GUY who had really played me and led me on ALL FUCKING YEAR and lowkey for the past FOUR YEARS. so i was like, whatever. so i got drunk. then jay and the guy came back from their adventure. i asked my other drunk companions if i seemed sober (bad, bad idea. they were not good judges) they all said i seemed fine, so i went to give the kid a piece of my mind. get to his room and its just him cause his roommate had been with us in the drinking room. so i say, hey i need to talk to you. the first thing he asks is if i had drank, and i said no, like a liar with a big fat crush. then we sit down on opposite beds, and i told him i was really hurt that he rejected my offer to go on an adventure and immediately did the same thing with jay. he gave me a bs excuse like “it was kinda spontaneous” and i was like, thats bullshit. then i poured out my heart, about crushing on him for the last four years, about being a good friend when he dated hannahkate in seventh grade, about always waiting for him to come back, about working so hard to stop drinking just to be the person he wanted me to be. and i told him i loved him.

his response? “thank you for telling me.” and it shattered my heart.

when he walked me to the door of his room, he said “by the way. you were slurring the whole time, and your breath smells like alcohol. i knew you had drank from the start.” needless to say, THAT was embarrassing.

i go back to the room, drink more, eventually everyone leaves and its me and hannah. i tell her what happened, freak out a bit, cry.

the next day we woke up kinda early and went to this man-made island place i dont remember the name of, and we spent the day there. i was really quiet and reserved all day (not like me, then or now). i did not eat. when we got back to the hotel that night, hannah gave me a melon bread, and i said i wasnt hungry. she said “you havent eaten all day. if you dont eat this right now, im going to take your phone, delete [kid’s name] from all your contacts, delete every picture or video you have on your phone, erase him from your life. do you want that?” to which i said, no. and i ate the bread. it was tough love and i needed it. i was a little better the next day.

a few days later in kyoto the kid and i talked on a rooftop at sunset. i felt a little better after that. it was hard going through all of that, after four years of pining for him, but.. it was good. it was closure. i laid my cards on the table, i finally told him how i felt, and he rejected me. and it hurt, but there was nothing left to say, and it finally closed that door that had been slightly ajar for four years. and i was able to move on after that, fairly quickly actually. jumping back into partying cause i didnt have someone to impress kind of helped. well, it also kind of spun my life off in a horrible direction that led to a horrible depressing senior year of high school, but thats another story.

yeesh, that was long. on to the next one!!

19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted the most recent person i texted is my friend named nico. the first memory that comes to mind is last summer, we used to hang out a lot, one night we went to this 24 hour diner called beth’s cafe that we both love. we went at like 4 am and it was so so so fun. afterwards we watched emperors new groove in his bed and then passed out. i love nico so much. we used to be a lot closer in the summer, but at the end of summer i fucked up and we had a falling out. we still are friends and we still talk (i.e. we texted today planning to hang out this week) but.. its not the same. and i really miss the way things were before. golly isnt that bittersweet. now im a lil sad. but thats okay

thank you to anyone who read all that garbage uidsgfihjs

#asks #lovely mutuals #GOSH my confession story is LOOONG

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yourfriendlele · 4 years

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long ask

I saw the post you made ( and first of all since I havent watched harley quinn show so I cant comment on the ship ( though I find it ridiculous that you seem to be implying people who are anti korrasami would automatically be anti bb ( there were people who are anti korrasami but ship bb )

and second of all this is what annoys me about ship wars ( where it can get to the point where one of the characters who “get in the way ” of the ship is demonized ) and with ship wars with one being m/f and other being same sex someone will claim homophobia if you ship say black sun over bb and claim that you would ship say bb if one of them was a dude which is baseless when its a matter of liking the writing or liking the interactions between characters more etc

not to mention the argument when people point out how a ship say korrasami was forced and had no buildup certain people go but there are thousands of straight couples why cant you let us have this one when first of all goodwriting is more important then representation ) korrasami didnt have buildup it was thrown it at the last minute bryke only went to network if they could do at after thinking about how they didnt include rep when they were close to finishing the season finale ( of course they tried to cover their asses by claiming het lenses when no the ship just isnt there it had no buildup or relationship development there had been more buildup / interactions with makorra then korrasami in b4 ( not to mention they fixed their problems with handling conflict by b4 which caused problems in their relationship ) compare all asami got in remembrances was going of course we need you youre the avatar (korras problem at the start was only seeing herself as the avatar and not as person ) mako got a speech about what korra meant to him

and on bb there is/was no buildup or romantic development to bb v1-v6

( there are people who are debating on whether rooserteeth made it canon or not and ( if the v7 stuff is supposed to imply that its forced as hell )

there was no bb moments in v6 that were inherently romantic

people just try to claim these moments were romantic when they really werent and claim there was no other explanation for tihs like blake holding yangs hand when it trembled as she was facing adam which was a show of Im here for you which yang reciprocated on the plane ( and they try to equate bb on the plane to renora on the plane when no its not besides the fact that renora had volumes of buildup were alone in that scene the sun came up and nora did the lean head on shoulders thing) and renora were alone together no one stepped in contrast to bb who were surrounded and friends with ruby talking to blake ( not to mention trying to claim saying that the bb moments in v6 were platonic is like saying nora going thats my man was platonic is bs

Nora was always flagrant about her feelings for Ren. There’s no making “my man” platonic and the hand hold was followed by head on shoulders much like Pyrrha did with Jaune before it. The BB “handhold” is followed up by Ruby comforting Blake as well.

One of the most aggravating things I’ve been seeing in regards to this ship nonsense is people using Adam’s lines (“I will destroy everything you love, starting with her”/“Does Blake make all of her classmates fight for her?”/“What does she even see in you?” ) as evidence that Blake loves Yang over Sun. Oh yes, because the unstable psychopath with a history of being a bad judge of character, especially with Blake, TOTALLY understands how and why she values her friends!

( plus adam is a racist he hates humans a faunus supremacist and see a human and faunus teaming up and being friends as disgusting adam barely knew yang he never saw them interact before so those moments would have been the first times he saw blake with those people ( unless he saw the team fights and given his surprise about yangs semblance

(not to mention adam trying to kill her parents a reference to the I will destroy everything you love which includes friends and family)

( in contrast black sun has had romantic development and teases ( with them showing mutual romantic attraction v1 scene where they first met and the way it was a shot and the angelic choir the v2 and v3 ( where sun flirted with blake and blake blushed and v4 and v5 which had the meat )etc since v1 and even in v6 there was a hint of reunion the departure didnt sink. blacksun has had too much development to just throw it away

the name of representation would just be bad writing the attempts ot justify bad writing with the gay rep excuse is ridiculous and throwing the homophobia card etc around makes a joke of real homophobia same sex ships arent immune to criticism that is equality )

https://rwbyconversations.tumblr.com/post/179603888501/it-was-never-about-that-or-why-sun-went-to

https://eight-of-pentacles.tumblr.com/post/185944273916

I am really annoyed with how

certain bb shippers go to accusation to dismiss criticism focuses on their presumption of their sexuality as the issue rather than how its written. A good love story is determine by how it’s written, NOT by the sexuality of the characters.

“LGBT are historically marginalized and therefore it’s nice they get their main character ship for once.” First of all plenty of media have lgbt main characters now. It’s not groundbreaking. But more importantly, none of that means the relationship is well done. That’s just filling a personal quota. This is a dumb argument. It’s like saying retcon sexualities and ethnicities of existing characters cause we’re too lazy to put the effort in making new ones and you all just get the leftover scraps.

commanderkurama answered:

Yea I mean….its all fine and dandy wanting representation but much the same as they wouldn’t want their first open lgbt characters as villains or killed off, you’d think they’d want their canon couples to be well developed. Most of what they get so hype over about BB is headcanon or trynna reach to connect it to better developed het ships to leech off of their development to make up for the lack of actual substance it has. because I want to have faith in crwby I will say that v7 was just platonic. ( though more cynical people say they threw blacksun out because they wanted to earn points and get a bit more attention by having a same sex w/w ship ( which is annoying they could havedone the same thing with freezerburn weiss and yang werent being teased with anyone and it doesnt throw out any prior relationship teases/development

HEY MAYBE DON’T SEND ME SHIT ABOUT BS BEING BETTER THAN BB etc etc...

Listen, since i’ve posted my comic i’ve gotten plenty of messages saying i’m just not listening to criticism and bb/korrassami/harlivy etc is actually bad and i would see it if i actually cared about good writing bla bla bla.

And i’ve answered some of them, but now im just tired, bc i came to the conclusion that i’m not gonna convice anyone who thinks they’re above homophobia and heteronormativity (bc they’re too woke for that i guess) that, tho i listened to what they had to say, their arguments just aren’t convincing to me.

So yeah, you think bs (or whatever het ship) is absolutely superior and better written than bb (or whatever wlw ship), bc bb is retcon/forced/pandering/just the fandom reaching etc etc, good for you dude, live your life, write your essay and post it on tumblr.

Just could ya’ll please leave me alone now???

Now, if after reading the comic, you’re very curious about what i think (and not what you assumed i think), here are some links to my other responses:

1. BB is going against Monty’s plan

2. Double standarts i, personally, see with same sex couples

3. Refusing to see bb interactions as romantic

4. Yes it is okay not to like wlw ships (no it’s not alway homophobia, but even if i think you sound like a homophobe when you talk about a same sex ship, i can’t really do anything about it, so yep it is always okay not to like a ship, no one is stopping you) + problems i have with each ship mentioned in the comic

If you still, legitimatelly, wanna talk to me about writing (and by all means, please do, i like talking about writing), how about you start with “hello, how are you? My name is .....” and we can go from there?

#rwby #bumbleby #blacksun #yes tagged bs bc i want you guys to leave my inbox alone please #cmon you think im dumb for shipping bb?#fine dude #live your life #just dont send me more essays about this cuz ive read some of them already #and no im not conviced #believe it or not #and frankly #i think we can all understand why i dont want some anonymous asshole telling me lgbt rep is not that big of a deal #submission

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weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years

Text

i can’t afford car insurance anymore

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Hello, I am curious as to how my auto insurance policy would cover body damage to my car. I have comprehensive/collision coverage, as it is only a few years old and still owed by the bank. I accidentally ran into the side of my garage, and the front right side and bumper have scratches/dents in it. The nearest body shop quotes average in the 1800 dollar range for repairs, which I don't have. Can I have my insurance cover this, with a 500 dollar deductible, and if so, will it affect my insurance rates? My insurer is California State Automobile Association. Thanks.""

What Insurance Company Insures Someone With Only A Permit?

I bought a car yesterday and I'm 18 with a permit and I can take the test but I have to learn and I have my own car to learn with now. But I need insurance to get tags. Now I need to know what company will insure me? I want the insurance in my name.

""I want to buy a 42,000 dollar truck, but only make $8.03 an hour, will I be able to afford it?""

I am estimating a 600 dollar a month payment ( not including vehicle insurance) I work at a hospital. Work 12 hour shifts, about 3 times a week. Monthly paycheck about 600 bucks. Will I be able to afford this truck? I really want it, my dad says I won't be able to afford it. But if he co-signs for me ( being he has excellent credit. Will I be able to get the truck?""

If the 30 million uncovered Americans can actually afford Health Insurance but choose not to buy it?

What will the Government be paying for exactly? Poor people already have coverage and the rest can buy their own. Where does the cost to the taxpayer enter the equation?

Car Insurance Question?

If i have a fully comp insurance policy in my name, can i drive any car on the road, with no limitations ie. engine size, make, model, and does the car which im hoping to drive need to be insured by someone else, or not, thanks in advance""

In North Carolina...How Do Get A Car && Insurance??

In What Order Do I Have To Get A Car My Licence && Insurance??

What cars are best to have for the lowest insurance?

I am 21, and I am rather sick of catching the bus everywhere lol, especially this past winter. I know my insurance is going to be high, It's also pretty hard to keep a job since many buses stop running around 9pm. My friend told me any time after May is a good time to buy a car because most people already got their refunds. I am willing to take out a loan if a new/newer car is the best to go with since I have pretty decent credit (724 Experian). If I have a car I could work and go to school more easily. What year, make, model, etc. I also want to save on gas. For the new cars, I would like the Chevy Volt, the Ford Fiesta, Honda Civic (hybrid if possible), or the toyota prius (hybrid maybe). For used, I am not sure since I don't know what year to look in, but I was looking at the Honda civic, toyota prius, and the mazda mazda6. I also don't know if foreign cars would raise the premium. I read that if you are getting a car around 10 years old, only buy honda or toyota cars. Also should I look into mechanical breakdown insurance and/or should I get a warranty for the car along with the auto insurance? How much do they cost? Thanks.""

Motorcycle insurance???

I just got a 07 kawasaki ninja zx6r i got a nice deal on but trying to find insurance on it is hard. Why do they want like an average of 500 dollars a month and thats like 4x what i pay for my car insurance.

I need cheap insurance for me and my baby?

I recently moved out of my mom's house to live with my boyfriend. She was covering me on her insurance but now it's been dropped, We moved to where his new job is and we are letting a friend live with us. My boyfriend's yearly income is about 65,000. I can't be covered under his insurance because we aren't married. I have a 11 month old baby and I have to take pills regularly... I need to find an insurance plan that can cover me and her. If it makes any difference I'm 18 and I'm turning 19 in October... I know some insurance plans cover certain ages. I'd prefer something kind of cheap but I also need something that has decent copay..even if it raises the price a little. Does anyone know a good carrier?""

""Car insurance - being a named driver on your dads policy, is this still legal?""

I have just received a quote from more than car insurance as me as a named driver on my dads policy, i have read stuff about fronting and how it can make claims invalid, is it still legal to do this? Thanks, much appreciated""

Cheaper car Insurance for 18 year old?

I'm an 18 year old male and live in Florida. I have state farm insurance and I was paying 167 a month for minimum car insurance, I have a clean record and I drive a 97 Honda civic. I had a mechanical failure in my car that caused my wheel to fly off while I was driving, I filed a claim and all of a sudden they want 365 a month for minimum coverage, why am I paying so much, 167 already seemed steep to me, I work part time and that basically a week of pay for me. Where can I find insurance that doesnt cost so much? The insurance cost more than my damn car payments did.""

Is a volvo s40 60 or 80 a good car for a 16 yr old guy?

i was just wondering i think there cool but do they look gay at all? i just dont want to get it and then have people call me gay afterwards for getting it ( if i do) also are they good cars etc

Individual health insurance with fibromyalgia?

I have fibromyalgia, was diagnosed years ago. I have not had insurance for about half of that time. Does anyone know how to find affordable individual health insurance with a preexsisting condition? I have foun d plenty of plans that will cover me eventually but I cannot afford to pay the insurance premium and my doctors visits and prescriptions while I wait six mths to a year to get covered. Please do NOT suggest e-surance, they do not have affordable plans that cover pre-exsisting.""

I cant find car insurance that will cover a learner driver and a passed driver for a month?

I am trying to pass my test as soon as possible but didn't have access to a car to do extra practice between lessons. So I have bought a car before I have passed so that I can go out practising with my mum. However I cant find any short cover (1 month) insurance which will insure us both, they seem to only do learner driver insurance which has to be bought on top of the normal insurance OR only insure drivers with a full license. However buying both together is over 300 for only 28 days for the ones I checked. Can anyone come up with an affordable way to practice in my own car? Thanks""

Will my car insurance be able to transfer over to another car without extra fees?

My mother-n-law has an extra car that she doesn't have insurance on because she doesn't drive it shes letting me use it for a month. If i get my own policy and pay the 6 month premium in full and add that car to it when I take that car off after i give it back to her will i have a credit that I can transfer over to my car when i get one in a couple months without paying anything extra?

Short term car insurance in the Netherlands?

Hello, I bought a Dutch registered car here in UK and it seems the only place I can insure it to drive it to my house is the Netherlands. No insurer in UK wants to issue an insurance on no UK registered car. Can anybody recommend a insurance company in the Netherlands or their web site where I can 1-2 days insurance and do this in English, It would be much simpler to wright a few key words in Google in Dutch but I can't. Thanks Thanks""

Is this good fuel consumption & cheap insurance group?

I have found a car and the specs sa the following fuel consumption and I wanna know if it is good or not as im looking for something more economical. Fuel consumption (urban) 43.5 mpg Fuel consumption (extra urban) 65.7 mpg Fuel consumption (combined) 55.4 mpg Also it says the insurance group is 7, is this going to be quite cheap?""

""If im already on my parents insurance for two cars, how much more will it cost if they add a new small 03 car?""

The new car is an 03 mitsubishi lancer, the two cars i was insured on before were an elantra gt and a nissan titan (05) I wanted to know if insurance will shoot up a lot more with another car or if it will just be like another 40 or so dollars a month?""

Just wondering if there is any kind of insurance coverage for the victims of the tsunami?

It is a natural disaster. I know that in California there is earthquake insurance but very expensive. Do the Japanese have any kind of insurance protection? I'm sure there will be some kind of aid from the government but what about their losses? Thankful to be alive, I'm sure.""

How far back in your driving record do insurance agents look when determining your car insurance rate?

Car Accident without Collision Insurance?

i was recently in a collision the other day. i was traveling straight with the right of way, and i was hit by a driver turning left into my lane to cross the intersection. i do not have collision on my car for it is a 99 grand am, and the damage is enough to total the vehicle. when the police arrived, they did not site the accident, however an officer mentioned it is clear what happened but in the hands of the insurance company'ss. i called liberty mutual, my company, and they told me to get into contact with the other drivers. i filled out the accident forms and sent them to the police and registry. her company told me that she had already filed a claim and that they would be in contact with me. i have no prior record of poor driving. no speeding tickets, no car accidents, i have a red light ticket that i appealed and won. is there anything i should be worried about? is my car going to be covered and if so how long does anappraisall take. i took photos of all the damage for records. 99 grand am, 138000 miles, just passed inspection thanks!""

Car insurance check for air bags?

So im planning on getting either Allstate or Farmers Insurance, I'm wondering if they will check for air bags when they look at my car.""

Where can I get the Cheapest Car Insurance Quotes at Online?

How can I find the cheapest car insurance for me? I just got my first car and I know I will prolly pay a lot for insurance but how can I check for deals? I am on a really tight budget but at the same time, I only have a second-hand car so I gotta make sure I get insurance that will pay out if I need to make a claim. Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for my car at, and how reliable is it if I need to claim?""

i can't afford car insurance anymore

Legal question about car insurance.?

My son was at a party, an aquaintance asked for his car keys to get some drink out of the boot. He then stole the car and crashed it. Only a provisional licence. The car, which is a company car, is a right off. The insurance company are saying that they may not pay out. Who ultimately is responsible.""

What is average annual homeowners insurance premium in los angeles?

Why are my car insurance quotes flucuating so much?

I'm looking for annual policies on a provisional license for my own vehicle, having looked around for a week or two (12/18th Dec) i found a quote for 680 upon refreshing my quote on the 19th December it was decreased to 480 now on the 26th i cannot find a quote for less than 860! i have not changed any of the details of the policy, except to amend the start date i understand the law is changing re: gender based risk assumptions but there seem to be many other factors involved, some which i understand, many i do not. Ideally i would like to understand the circumstances which led to the original decrease to 480. Thanks for any help anyone can provide, all the best Bill""

Can I drive without my name on car insurance?

I'm 18 living in California. I am not on my parents insurance because I don't have a job to help pay the monthly fee. I do however drive the car with my parent in the car with me. My mom signed a waiver that said something like My child is not responsible for any damages if in a collision. Basically saying that my mom is taking full responsibility if anything happens to the car wile we are driving. So I guess y question is; Is it illegal to drive without being on the insurance, but an adult who is on the insurance is in the car? In other words can I still drive with a parent whose name is on the insurance, even though my name isn't? I apologize if this sounds confusing.""

Should I drop collision from my auto insurance this renewal?

I have a ten year old Honda Civic, just over 40,000 miles, has a crack in the driver's side rear bumper that I ignore. I have an excellent driving record, no points, am the only driver, am at that age where I'm not young enough or old enough to be considered a threat, but I live in a high rate state and money is more than tight and they just shot my house insurance through the roof, even though I never put in a claim, because, get this, there is a chance that someday we may have a hurricane! Am I being pennywise and pound foolish, or am I paying for something that won't pay off even if I need it? Thank you!""

""How much will it cost per month to pay for gas fees, and auto insurance in Toronto?""

How much will it cost per month to pay for gas fees, and auto insurance in Toronto?""

Can a cop get life insurance?

With the way the economy is...I am considering being a cop after I finish my degree in human development(good for kid teaching). Anyway, can a cop get life insurance? Does it cost more?""

""I got into a tiny accident today. I am 19, about how much do yo think insurance premium is going to go up?""

There are 2 other 45yr old drivers on the insurance already, I wan't added to it yet. About the damages. I have a 9 in diameter dent in the car above the front bumper. The person's car I hit had 5 to 2 minor scratches on her back bumper. She called the police, who will probably automatically put it through insurance.""

What is the difference between home insurance and buildings and contents insurance?

hi. I will soon be moving into my first house with my girlfriend and its all new to me. We have been told we need a few insurances. Is there a difference between home insurance and building and contents insurance? or are they both the same thing? will they cover leaks, fire, structural damage, theft, boiler etc The house is in Newcastle UK. I would appreciate any help thank you

Car Insurance - Where the car is kept?

I'm currently looking at insurance for my car, which will be kept where i live in a small private residence Cul-de-sac with a coded gate and CCTV. Will this come under as Locked compound or Private Property? Hope someone can help.""

How many Health Insurance Companies in Sault Ste.Marie?

How much would they charge ? My brother is going to Algoma University this year, the University asks them to buy a Health Insurance, but the University's health insurance is too expensive. So, is there any other health insurance companies in Sault Ste.Marie ?""

Insurance on a 05 Polo?

I'm 17 and wondering around how much would it cost to get insurance on my mums 2005 volkswagen Polo under her name? Thanks

Why did my car insurance go up almost $10 a month?!?

This is total bullcrap! I have the same car. I got not tickets or at fault accidents. Yet they raised my premium!

Have you ever heard of a Car Insurance doing this?

Have you ever heard of this before: I know a person who has car insurance with Allstate and they claim the following reason for jacking up their prices every 6 months when you pay the bill for the next 6 months. The Reasons from them are: 1-Because since you have allstate and when anyone else that has allstate also in your area has an accident where them and someone else is involved this will make your payment go up. 2-All insurance companies do this also where if anyone not involved in an accident say at home and someone else with the same insurance company as you have, if they have an accident even if your at home when this happens your payments will go up. My Father has had direct for i don't know how long but a long time and every time someone has a wreck that has direct and he is not involved in it he still pays the same amount he did last time before the other direct insurance people have a wreck. Please also provide the name of your insurance company as I want to make a chart of how many people answered and what insurance company they currently have or had. Thank you I'd greatly appreciate the insurance info that's all I would like for the chart not your name.""

Car modifications and insurance?

Hey I'm young with my first car so insurance is high. What modifications will either not affect my premium or affect it by a little. Thanks

Insurance on my boyfriend's car?

I recently got my license and haven't gotten a car yet. Since my boyfriend has two vehicles I am planning on using his car for work. He has liability on the car but I don't have any insurance and his insurance agent isn't sure if we can be on the same policy if we're not living together. Will I have to get my own insurance or is there anyway I can be covered by his policy? Please help! Any advice on the cheapest way to do this is appreciated. Thank you!

Car Insurance quotes for people aged 24.?

Hi, I'm 24 and my car insurance is due in March, rather annoyingly I go 25 in April. Will the fact I go 25 in April affect my premium I get in March? For instance currently if I get insured with Aviva my excess is an extra 200 because i'm under 25. Come April would this clause be void? Would I be better getting a months insurance then getting a full insurance once I officially turn 25?""

What will happen If I appear to court with NO car insurance?

I recently got pulled over for speeding. But the officer discover that I didnt have any car insurance. I got a court date to attend but dont have any money to pay for insurance. What will happen if I appear to court with no money for the speeding ticket and no insurance? HELP PLEASE.

Insurance for a 16 year old?

How much would insurance be for a 1990 corvette? I'm 16 years old, btw.""

Fake insurance??

Hello my friend want to register his car under fake insurance. He wonder wat will happen if he go register it with that fake insurance?

Are there any good Websites about Insurance ?

For someone who is newbie in Insurance , Also if it contains cases and Q&A it would be best Does anyone know any ???""

NCAP rating effect on car insurance.?

I'm looking to buy a car and noticed that some of the models I favour, such as Ford Puma; Vauxhall Tigra, have not been crash tested by NCAP. Does a car which has not been crash tested by NCAP necessarily attract higher insurance premiums?""

Getting married early for health insurance?

I'm wondering if there are any risks to getting married early in order to qualify for future spouses health insurance? For example, what are the tax implications to getting married? Were already engaged and were planning to marry later next year, but now that Im between jobs it would be much more affordable to access spousal health insurance rather than COBRA.""

Best life insurance...?

Best life insurance What is the Best life insurance company

How can i get cheaper insurance?

im looking to buy a car soon. my parents both have vehicles and im a 18 yr old male with a g2 so my insurance on any car with be well over $3000 a year. i was just wondering if theres any loopholes/tricks to make insurance cheaper. i know my buddys dad opened up a business just to put a car under the business name so he wouldnt be charged as a primary driver.

i can't afford car insurance anymore

What is the best insurance to buy for maternity care?

My husband and I had tricare but he is out of the military now, so we are looking for good insurance as we are currently ttc. Thanks!""

Car crash damage my insurance rights?

my 2009 vauxhall insignia was hit from behind sitting at a car park space in a supermarket,there is substantial amount of damage to the right hand arch right above the back wheel,the back bumper is also broken,it was hit that hard it was pushed onto the car park space in front of it,i believe what saved it from any further damage was the driver of the other car hit the wheel of my car which i guess cushioned the blow.i have went today and got estimates for the repair which is in the region of 2500 pounds though could be more as they have to put it on some sort of machine to see if the wheel alignment is of,the repair shops say what they will do is cut the arch out and put a new arch in and spray it but no matter what its never going to be the same.the reason they do it like this is because the whole back of my car runs to the front without any splits. Im not happy about this being done like this as this car today is worth around 10,000 pounds which i pay for and dont want it patched up,i would prefer if the other guys insurance wrote it off so that i can get an original car which i first had,is there anyway i can get this to be wrote of and claim it of the guys insurance,i have heard of depreciation money if my car has been hit but this is still not going to compensate me for my car being patched up. thanks""

How much would the average commercial insurance quote be for a warehouse?

I am doing a project for school, creating a fake business plan for an online grocer that we are creating in Boston (again, fake grocer). As part of the business plan, we must include miscelleneous costs, including Insurance. Any idea? (180,000 sq ft facility)""

Motorcycle Insurance question?

I recently bought a motorcycle and i'm just about to buy insurance but i am abit confused, I'm thinking of getting the Third party fire & theft insurance, which means i wont get no claim if I crash my bike but what if the other drive is at fault? Does their insurance cover my damage or what? thank you""

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do?

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do? Shes about a month along, andwe donthave insurance tohelp us have it.. what can i do? Can i still get it or do they see that as priorissue andsayno.. We need help bringing it intobthe world..butwere lostat the moment.""

350z insurance cost tx 16year old?

how much is insurance for a 2006 350z for a 16 year old first car in texas?

Any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm?

any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm

How soon do I need to insure a new car.?

We are going to purchase a car next Sunday from a private party. How soon do I need to get coverage on it? I already have coverage on my other cars. I'm just worried if it gets stolen/damaged before I can get it covered. We aren't 100% sure we want the vehicle so I don't want to cover something that's not in our name yet. Would it still be covered by the previous owner for awhile? Thanks in Advance!

""If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

How much do you usually pay when you first get car insurance?

just got an auto insurance plan that's 100/month. went in to fill out papers &payed a $120 down payment. but my mom is now telling me i should be getting a bill for $480 in the mail soon. because the premium is $600 and i have to pay the rest? but i thought that's what the down payment was for. or was that just a down payment for a down payment? lol. i'm not really sure how it works, but i'm wondering if my mom is just saying that so i don't spend all my money, or if i'm actually going to get a bill for that much. anyone know? i'm still paying $100/month, so is it normal to have to pay around $600 first?""

Looking for an insurance plan to switch to with good maternity?

I'm getting married in less than a month & will no longer be on my insurance, my husband to be can stay on his till he's 26 however my current job doesn't offer me ...show more""

How much would insurance for a motorcycle cost for a 17 year old?

How much approximately for a 17 yr old with a 250 ninja? what about a 600cc bike? I do not have my drivers license yet, only my permit and I would get a learners permit on my bike. How much do you think it will cost?""

Car insurance for Chevy avalanche? ?

When I turn 17 I really want to get a used Chevy Avalanche but wanted to know if the insurance will be expensive. Please help! Thanks :)

Insurance and bmv question?

If I have to show insurance to the bmv and they tell me I have to show the insurace at time i got pulled over do they check with the insurance company to see if you really had insurance at that time?

Can I get onto my parents insurance?

I don't have a car yet but i want to buy one in a year... I was wondering if I could join my parents insurance and if yes how much do you think ill have to pay monthly (Progressive) for a '65 Chevy C10 Custom?

Can I get my own auto insurance?

I am 16 years old and about to buy a car. My mother doesn't drive, so she doesn't have auto insurance. Would I be able to get insurance if she doesn't have her license? If so, with what company?""

Which insurance company is father of reinsurer?

i need to know the answer for my interview in an insurance company. also which company is biggest insurance company in world.

How much you pay for car insurance if your in early 20's?

I'm a 21 year old college student. Im going on to my junior year and have just gotten a car. I have always gotten a ride with my friends. I got a quote from Farmers Insurance for $2600 for 6 months full coverage is that normal?

Used Car Insurance/Registration?

I just recently got my license (which was long overdue) and now I'm looking into buying a car from Advantage Auto Sales. My question is regarding the insurance and registration for the car I'm going to be buying. Should I purchase insurance, then put the down payment on the car, and then go register it after I have it in my possession? I've already gotten an insurance quote for one particular car that I was looking it, but I did change my mind due to location issues, but I can't imagine that would change the price up too much considering the car I'm looking at is actually newer than the one I got the quote on. At any rate, what should be my order of operations? 1. Insurance 2. Car 3. Registration OR 1. Insurance 2. Registration 3. Car Sorry if I'm being confusing. I would like to get all of this handled in one swoop so I'm not doing a whole lot of waiting around for weeks while everything gets handled. I live in Peoria, IL. In an related (but optional) question, how does a 2004 Chevrolet Malibu LS Sedan sound? Reliable or no?""

Around how much will car insurance be for me?

hi, im going to get an rsx soon, im 19 in california, and i was wondering how much insurance would be around for me? full coverage would be how much? and the cheaper one is how much? ( dont know name )""

Can anyone tell me about selling insurance as a career?

A friend of the family sales insurance through State Farm. He has offered to mentor me and show me the ropes in the insurance business. I know absalutly nothing about insuarance. Is ita good career? Is it difficult to do? How much money do you make? Im in California. thanks

I own a car and am selling it to a guy. He is the only driver. He refuses to get insurance.?

I have given him 3 months to get insurance, but he hasnt gotten it yet. I have kept the vehicle on my insurance until he gets it, but he still hasnt gotten it. And now he is complaining that I should stop insuring it so that he doesnt have to reimburse me for it. My questions are: What would happen if i dropped the insurance and he got pulled over or in a wreck? Who would be responsible, me or him? Could my rates be raised? Could I personally get into trouble with the law for allowing an uninsured driver drive an uninsured car that I own? We're in the process of getting a temporary title for him so that I won't be responsible, but in the meantime I need to know the consequences. I live in Ohio.""

Motorcycle insurance for a 20 yr old?

i just got a 2004 ninja zx10r, any one know of a place that has motorcycle insurance for cheap??""

How much would car insurance be for me?

I finished driving school I average a 3.4 GPA I will drive a owned 07 Chevy impala Parents have good driving record. I'm 15 years old I live in Texas How much would car insurance be for me? It doesn't have to be exact i just want to get an idea of how much. Thank You

Would your car insurance go up if you bump into someone else?

I was pulling off at a junction and I was looking to the right to see wether there is a car coming but the car infront (baring in mind he started pulling off) he suddenly pushed the ...show more

i can't afford car insurance anymore

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/beazley-insurance-quotes-isabella-white/"

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years

Text

i’m not really sad or anxious. i’m more or less kind of pissed off. and i wish i had anxiety because in a way being pissed makes me sad because it means my personal patience has run out.

this person is sick and the way they treat me is abnormal to any relationship, romantic or not. it’s very harmful of them to act the way they do and then pull away. its wrong and manipulative and disrespectful. i’m tired. my whole life is built around them and when its not you can tell theyre disappointed and like ‘well fuck u then’.

i do nothing. even if i was asking for money, which i dont, it would pale in comparison to the trauma he causes and he pays to get away with it. he believes people talk shit about him, that no one is trusted - but all theyve heard is these things hes done. when he freaks out and stops talking to me for a few days, for little to no reason. when im blamed for the pitfalls of his life.

he told me it was “not nice” and “not appropriate” to i guess even respond to his message that he doesnt want to be asked to hang out or help and that hes “taking a step back”. like, in no previous relationship id i have to account for the days when my boyfriend is “taking a step back” and no longer exists in my life but teyll be back in three days having done their own thing which includes trolling dating sites and talking to other women and i’ll be asked in back handed ways if i’ve been with anyone else.

my response was that i wasnt about to argue with him and that ive been nothing but appreciative of the help hes given. around noon the source of his stress right now popped up and wante to give hm money so i tried to work that out for him but that was a huge mistake even remotely being involved. i shouldve taken and kept all the weed and stayed quiet. when our mutual friend called again to ask to get a hold of him in the afternoon, i tried to call then texted him to call this guy and he responded “youve already bothered me x amount of times since i asked you not to”

and “bothering” is literally just sendng a text message. i’m not allowed to send even a text message. and if i do, god forbid it’s more than one and longer than four sentences or else ive sent “a wall of text”. like i’m tired of living by arbitrary rules that benefit no one but him. he forces everyone close to him in his life to follow these rules or he legitimately punishes them. but he first will put in just enough time and effort for you to feel like you want to be around him before slowly subjecting you to these rles one by one and telling you everytime by ignoring them you’re disrespecting him when he does nothing but give to you.

i needed a small reminder that this behaviour is abnormal. when i told a friend, she said ‘why would anyone think that sending a message like that would get no response in return? no one would feel okay about that especially if you hold a romantic relationship with this person’

i’m tired of being seen like an inanimate object that he pumps money into to keep around / for maintenence. like i feel like one of his tools. just another tool he has to service and take care of and oh sure he loves his tools but theyre kept on the floor in the garage.i’m not even allowed to be myself with him because he’s forced all of the “myself” out of me. i’m whatever came out of his mold. i don’t tell him half of the shit i would tell someone else, i reguarly choose not to talk to him about things in my life and i dont even speak to him the same way i do other friends.

but he presents, sometimes, the things i want. like maybe even what i want most in life. like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. so because i so desperately want these things - not that i want him, anyone coud fill his shoes, but what he presents - i tend to do more to have them in my life. i put up with being treated unfairly. being belittled. being asked to wait on him hand and foot. perhaps the role has even brought me comfort since i did the same for my mother and perhaps a same sort of resentment was built there too. sure - my mother would “always be there”. an she would “always help” but like .. it had to be the very worst situation and no other option in the world but to ask her to do something. and she would use it - i bought her pants, why doesnt she clean up after me.

but i wanted a mother, you know? i still wanted a mother and a family and i still begrugingly did all the stuff she wanted me to do until i just stopped one day. i say hes alot like my father because he has endearing qualitles of an old man. but he does not share the personality of my father. my father was a strong man emotionally and mentally. he saw some shit and he did not once take it out on the people around him. maybe thats the most important thing my father ever did in his life. he didnt become violent or hold resent towards women or treat children badly. but he had “excuses” to do so. he had the traumas and lonliness and shitty dealings of life.

my mother was coddled, expected to care for her family. but our days were run by her emotional instability. everydays success was based on her mood and how she would lash out on people. by noon i may have had several arguments with her. and she didnt want a kid - but wasnt she a great mother. she hated helping me - but look at all the toys she bought.

i see this sickness in him. what is it? narcissism? borderline? bipolar? does it matter? who cares what its called when it affects all the same. i’m predisposed to being a victim - perhaps they know this and see it. this is all over a garage door. but he wont say that - its about the money, its about his time, its about my lack of job but this doesnt matter until the garage. its “no problem” until the garage. its trapping.

on a strategic level i feel like i should play the game until i can get the money to get a business liscence, which he already offered. i may be able to just help myself with that last boost and it would be a really hard independent road to take but a really respectable one i may proudly suck dick for one last time.

i am everything he wants to be, really. independent, making my own rules, putting up with the people i choose to put up with, bartering services for goods, hanging out with a variety of people doing a variety of activities and being responsible for something people want to be apart of. i dont have to answer to my parents and i have no family responsibility - i could just run.

today is the launch of something ive worked really hard on for the past few weeks. he will forget and ill receive nothing about it. its proof of the insignificance of my life to him. i am trivial. my whole being is trivial. nothing i do is that important. maybe thats my last straw. you know, maybe thats the pinnacle of disrespect for me - all i want is to be acknowledged for something i actually worked on and i’m nothing more than a bag of meat. i have no brain, no concious.

i wanted to cry when a friend took it upon herself to mention my website at a meeting recently. like someone actually saw value in something i do. he shows me photos al the time of the things he builds and i’m supposed to feign interest on a regular basis. i wont even get that.

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yourmessofadreamerposts-blog · 7 years

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April 9, 2017 - the day i realized what i deserve

i’m a very obsessive person. i get attached to things and i can’t stop talking about them for days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. last year, makeup was my obsession. i watched about 10 makeup tutorials in a week and i would spend absurd amounts of money at sephora so that my collection was up to par with my favorite youtubers. now, i can’t even remember the last time i went makeup shopping because i’ve found other things to obsess over. my newest obsession, as life would have it, are boys. in high school i definitely had crushes that i was obsessed with, but boys didn’t even look at me twice. my first kiss wasn’t until this year, my freshman year of college, with a random boy i met on tinder. he came over to my dorm and we just started making out. i liked it. i liked him. at least i thought i did, but after a week of obsessing over if he would text me back, i moved on to another boy i thought was way better, then another the next month, and so on. until zach. he was different, because i didn’t meet him on tinder. i met him at one of the few parties i’ve attended since coming to college. he came up to me and my friend and he just started talking to us. he started to ignore my friend and only talked to me. i didn’t know how to react to this. i was always the girl boys just looked past, but he showed interest in me. he called me pretty and i found out we had mutual friends. he was 6 foot 7!! i was happy as can be. he was very drunk so i knew he wouldn’t remember our encounter, but i always will. the next day, i did what i always do; stalked instagram until i found him and eventually i found him and followed him. he followed me back, and that was it for a few weeks. it was enough for me, maybe he remembered me, maybe he didn’t. after a few weeks, my best friend found his tinder and matched with him, in hopes of reconnecting me and him. it didn’t really work, but i wasn’t too devastated i had other obsessions at that point in my life. (a boy in my pre med group that wouldn’t give me the time of day) next part of the story is a whole other post i might get into later, but for now i’ll keep it short. zach matched with another friend of mine on tinder who didn’t know about my party encounter with him and she slept over his house for like a week. they ended it and that was it. one day i was snap chatting from her phone and i noticed zach was on her friends list. i snapped him and we started sending pictures back and forth for a little before he asked for my snap. i gave it to him and we talked for a little. at this point, i thought of him as more of a friend than anything else. my friend who had a thing with him turned into a crazy person and freaked out over me snapping him. i ignored her and kept doing my thing. they never dated. they were over about a month before this and i was only snapping him as a friend. she couldn’t handle this so she stopped being my friend. i was fine with that, i didn’t need people like that in my life. a few weeks go by and i hang out with zach at his fraternity house with a few of my friends. it’s chill. he flirts with me a little and i enjoy the attention, but i didn’t act on it. until february 14. i knew he was going to ask me out. i wanted him to even though i denied it about 20 times. he snaps me the night before valentines day and asks if we can “hang out” and he was going to make me dinner and watch a movie. i say yes. i was thrilled, but tried to act cool, even though internally i was freaking out because this was my first valentines day spent with a boy. we had a good time, i kissed him. i was starting to like this boy. we talk for a few more weeks, but he doesn’t ask to hang out again. i was crushed. this boy was my newest obsession. i liked him too much for only knowing so little about him. i needed to chill out and i knew it, but i couldn’t stop thinking about him and what could be, so i took initiative. i asked him to hang out one night and he said we can watch a movie at 9 pm. i was annoyed he wanted to hang out so late, but i couldn’t even play hard to get at all. i agreed and i couldn’t wait to see him again. our movie night comes and he snaps me at 8 and asks if im coming over. i told him he needs to pick me up because my car was too far away for me to walk to at night. he doesnt respond for AN HOUR. longest hour of my life. he then tells me i should uber because he had a few beers. he looked like he had more than a few beers. i was absolutely devastated. i told him we should hang out another time and went to sleep after taking off my perfectly fresh makeup. we ended our snapchat streak and i couldn’t stop thinking about him. looking back it was only about 5 days before i conjured up a plan to talk to him again, but in the moment i felt like i waited a year and i was playing so hard to get. we ended up working things out and he tells me he likes me, but he’s never had a relationship before and they scare him. i told him i felt the same way. but no. i’ve never had a relationship before, but the idea of a relationship excited me. i stupidly agreed to try and date this boy and give “us” a shot. i was so ecstatic. a boy was going to focus his attention on me and only me. that’s all i wanted. he invited me to his fraternity formal and i was over the moon. life was perfect. 2 weeks go by and i tell everybody about me and him and how i’m happy we worked things out. i ignored the people telling me it was a bad idea and dismissing their comments as them being jealous of me (yep still scared i thought this way) formal rolls around and i can’t wait to let loose for a weekend and drink and have fun with him. he picks me up on friday and we go to his frat house. we were pre gaming and i got drunk before we even got on the bus. big mistake. but whatever i wanted to have a fun college story, and i do have one, but it doesn’t end as fun. we get to the hotel we’re staying at and the whole weekend he kinda ignores me. he hangs out with his friends and talks to me here and there. our conversations were awkward and i wasn’t having fun. he was annoying me to no end. i wanted to go home, but i had to stick it out because i was 3 hours away. my perfect fairytale wasn’t happening. we get home on sunday and i knew the worst was happening. he drove me home in the most awkward silence. i was hurt. i knew i was putting in more effort the entire time. he drops me off and tells me “we’re just too different” and “i know you deserve more than me.” I KNEW THAT. I REALLY DID, but i still liked him regardless of the fact that i could do better. i didn’t want him to tell me i deserved better. i wanted to tell myself. so im writing this as a reminder to myself that I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER. i deserve a boy who wants to show me off to his friends, who cares about what i care about, who will go out to brunch with me, and who likes my friends. i want to be so mad at zach. i want to hate him and say fuck you for wasting my time, but i can’t do that. i shouldn’t have even let him cross my mind more than once. he never showed interest in me beyond one valentine’s day date and one lunch date. he only wanted to kiss me and have sex with me. i deserved better. i still deserve better. so as hard as it is for me to forget about a boy who was so many firsts of mine, i am trying to do it. i caved on friday and “accidentally” snapped him. he left me on open. he still doesn’t care about me. he never did and he never will. and thats fine, but i need to realize i don’t need validation from a boy to feel happiness. i used to look at girls who did exactly what i did and think “how can they be so stupid? it’s obvious he doesn’t care about her” but i still fell for the trap. i think i needed to experience it to learn. from here on out, i will not chase boys. i want to live my life freely and happily, not caring about what anyone thinks about me. i now know what i deserve and i won’t accept anything less. so here’s to me and here’s to my happiness. i can’t wait to see where my journey takes me.

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