#me who's been wanting to write an animal transformation fic in years upon discovering the corvid token: 'finally. my time has come' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lea-andres · 2 years ago

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Tell us about the rarepair that got discovered by the show’s writers!

Hear that? That's the sound of all of my mutuals groaning, because

NEW PERSON ASKING ABOUT BUGBEAR~

(Also, technically it was the comic writers, but same difference lmao)

Okay... *Cracks her knuckles and her neck loudly* SO-

(Art by @hansuart)

This is BugBear, aka Jewel the Beetle and Bark the Polar Bear. I've been losing my absolute mind over this rarepair for... Two years now?

The two have NEVER canonically met, but the pair was inspired by @bitter-sweet-coffee reminding me this moment exists in the IDW Sonic comics:

(Jewel is 2'7" tall, that is Storm the Albatross holding her in that panel, he stands at 4'7" tall. Bark himself is 5'11" tall. This is all important to the madness.)

BSC and I had set out to make a gag ship for laughs initially. How funny would it be to see tiny Jewel paired up with one of the 4 foot plus, muscular characters? It'd be COMICAL-

Until we settled on Bark, and it instantly quit being funny.

Jewel is an anxious sweetheart, and Bark is a shy, soft spoken gentle giant. Both of them have crazy best friends they desperately attempt to wrangle (with little success). They deserve a quiet relationship where they don't have to constantly be on and ready for the other to do something completely insane and potentially dangerous.

Jewel would be a little afraid of Bark upon first meeting him, but she'd see the real him and warm up eventually.

Speaking of warming up, I like to play with the fact that the Sonic characters are animals and bring in what species are cold blooded and warm blooded into my shipping shenanigans. Who would make a better cuddle buddy than A MASSIVE POLAR BEAR???

Checkmate. 😎😂

We only have two fics right now over on AO3. One I'm writing (When the Day Met the Night), the other written by my lovely friend @stillafanofsonic . I will link to theirs, it's a one shot, vs my multichapter nonsense.

So, as for it being discovered by the comic writers... I took a brief peek at your blog and didn't see anything to indicate if you're in the Sonic fandom, so I will keep this brief. Ian Flynn is one of the main writers on the IDW Sonic comics. He also runs a podcast called the BumbleKast, and back on Valentine's Day they made the BOLD DECISION to discuss shipping. Oh boy...

Their guest... Commentator? (I don't go to podcasts typically, not certain what the terminology is for what the speakers are called. 🤷) @/pedanticat (Not sure if they want the tag, so I will spare them from being part of this essay for now.) brought up the ship during the episode, having either seen it floating around on here, or over on Twitter when I posted some art by hansuart and @seagull-scribbles (both posted with permission) over there. And like... BugBear isn't like some other rarer Sonic ships where a couple people might've had the idea independently of each other and it's hard to gauge who got there first. Unless I'm missing someone or something, I'M the first person to mention it, and the art that does exist of it exists because I infected the artists with the same brainrot... So... Oops...

The ship was brought up during the question at 46:03 (Have you ever seen shipping fanart of two Sonic characters that made you go "Huh, I never thought of that pairing, but I could see it working"?) But the exact timestamp it comes into discussion is at 49:11. "A crackship that isn't too crazy" was the verdict. I will take it and be annoying about it forever:

youtube

So, long story short... (TOO LATE!), that's how I made a rarepair that got discovered by the main comic people. 😎

Thank you for the question, I'm sorry you got an essay lmao.

#jewel the beetle #bark the polar bear #bugbear

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fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

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I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided

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ammocharis · 4 years ago

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100 days of writing

I'm super late for this but I'd like to take a shot at a couple of questions provided by @the-wip-project (check it out, it's awesome!) and blabber about my Avvar headcanons and worldbuilding ideas. I want to flesh out their culture as much as possible in my fics.

Day 14

Do you have figures/creatures of folklore in your WIP? If not, can you think of something that would fit?

Day 15

Does your WIP have fairytales? Do your characters tell mythical stories to each other?

I'll tackle both of these prompts at the same time since they cover related topics. I think that coming up with fairytales, legends, mythical creatures, etc., is vital for a work of fiction that focuses on worldbuilding. From the dawn of times, people have tried to explain the world around them through tales - the laws of nature, the migration of tribes, the behaviour of animals, everything was given meaning.

These stories were exchanged between cultures, transforming as they passed from mouth to mouth, but the common elements can still be recognized. I believe that this human need for making sense of the world through stories is worth exploring, either in original fiction or fanfiction. One of my favourite parts of learning about a new fictional universe is discovering what kind of stories formed among its cultures. Do they prefer one style over another? What are the common themes? And so on, and so on.

In the case of Dragon Age, I already have the groundwork laid before me, but there's always so much more that can be done. The Avvar lore contains some beautiful examples of fictional mythology, and I want to build upon that.

Now let's move to the actual headcanons.

An idea I took further is the existence of a Great Serpent. According to one Avvar legend, when the serpent Nathramar engaged in a battle with Korth, they destroyed Mount Belenas, living only a vast crater behind, which the Lady of the Skies filled with her tears, creating a lake that eventually became known as Lake Calenhad. I wondered: "Why not include more of these gigantic serpents in Avvar legends?" So I went ahead and thought up a few more of them. They are large, snake-like creatures whose powers relate to water, storm, and lightning. I took some inspirations from the Slavic żmij/zmey.

"When the world was in its infancy, the Great Serpents still roamed the vast skies and deep waters. Hreggamar, the most boisterous of all creatures, decided to challenge a mighty dragon-mother to a duel. He was certain he would win, for he had learned her weakness while he was wandering through the clouds one day. Hidden by mist and rain, he entered the Mother's territory and sneaked upon the dragon-lair to eavesdrop on her plans…”

(The rest is under the cut because I have a lot of HCs.)

I find it compelling to imagine that the Avvar would tell stories in which the Great Serpents are responsible (in one way or another) for the creation of lake and seas.

It happened countless moons ago, before any human tribe wandered into the south. The time had come for Sundramar, one of the Great Serpents, to shed his skin. He rested his head at the coast of the ocean and stretched his long body across the earth. The end of his tail reached the land of many rivers, far away from the salt waters. Sundramar was eager to leave his old skin behind and emerge even greater than he already was. The sun would rise and set many times before his labour was over.

These Great Serpents are also supposed to hint at elven lore, which mentions some curious "giants of the sea" and Mythal transforming into a serpent to fight Andruil (the latter is probably an intentional parallel to Nathramar).

Another aspect of Avvar mythology I'd like to explore is the astronomical myths. The Astrariums presented a couple of brilliant stories, like the legend of Sindri Sky-Breaker, but I need more. Sun, moon, and star constellations are popular subjects of tales, and there's a very good reason for it. Their movements in the sky used to be the main way of tracking time and location, so they would often be anthropomorphized.

Were you ever disappointed that the two moons of Thedas receive so little spotlight? None, to be precise. There's just one offhand comment in The World of Thedas, stating that the holiday of Satinalia gets its name from the second moon, and that's it. Thedas could as well have only one moon because it's never shown again, neither in graphics nor in text. Well, I'm convinced that having two moons in the sky would have a huge impact on cultures forming in such a setting, so I decided to address it. In my headcanon, the second, smaller Thedosian moon is only visible for a part of the year. It appears in the sky at the beginning of the 11th month and vanishes a month later.

The Avvar myth that I came up with explains this phenomenon in the following way: the two moons are siblings, Hjuki and Bil. Hjuki is the older brother, and he provides illuminations for the world throughout the entire year. His younger sister, Bil, is just a child, so she needs more rest, but she joins her sibling in the sky each year, just before the winter settles in for good. Their joined effort helps make final preparations for the season of ice, such as protecting one's shelter from cold. In exchange for more light, every creature gains an additional shadow, which is associated with several superstitions.

(Side note: Yes, I borrowed the names for Hjuki and Bil from Norse mythology, but the legend is brand new, made to fit the two moons situation.)

I'm planning to invent some new constellation patterns, putting the stars from astrariums into different shapes. The constellations are arbitrary after all, and I'm pretty sure the Avvar came up with their own patterns before they were subjugated by the Tevinter Imperium.

Speaking of astronomy and time-tracking, there's another crucial aspect I aim to explore in my writing - the celebrations of solstices and equinoxes. For each of these events, I'd like to come up with a legend explaining why it occurs and what makes this time of the year unique. For example, the summer solstice is the day when the Lady of the Skies becomes the closest to the Mountains. Her light almost touches the ground. It's a moment of great joy, honouring life, warmth, and love. During the celebrations of Summer Solstice, it's customary to perform a dance telling the tale of how the first two creatures met - a beast of the sky and a beast of the earth - as it could've happened only when the Sky and the Land were close to each other.

I also used this opportunity and included yet another element of Slavic folklore - a parallel to the fern-flower, a magic flower which blooms only one night in the year, on the summer solstice. For the Avvar setting, I reimagined it as a fire-bloom, a plant connected to the goddess of fertility, Rilla of the Fireside.

An ancient legend said that Rilla of the Fireside cherished red foxes, for they reminded her of a burning hearth. One day, another god, Ahren Eagle-Eyed, wished to catch Rilla’s attention, but the goddess refused to abandon the woman who requested her help as she had wished to become pregnant. The patron of fertility turned a deaf ear to Ahren’s pestering and remained inside. She had promised she wouldn’t leave the fireside until her purpose had been fulfilled. After many unsuccessful attempts, Ahren thought of another approach. He decided to lure Rilla away with trickstery. He took the shape of a fox and arrived at the doorstep of the household that Rilla was protecting. Despite her fondness for red foxes, the goddess wouldn’t be fooled. She didn’t let the Eagle-Eyed hunter inside the house. She said that she would only open the door for him if he offered his aid to the mortal woman she took under her wings.

In the Avvar culture, there are skalds, professional keepers of stories who make sure that oral tradition is preserved, but of course, they're not the only ones sharing stories. On a long winter night, what better way to pass the time than exchange a tale or two?

#100daysofwriting #wip #worldbuilding #avvar #my avvar headcanons #dragon age

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fogsrollingin · 4 years ago

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Moonlight readings

Whumptober and The Zombie Bang are now over and I get to r e a d again 😭 It is so good to just eat some chocolate and read other people’s works. Oh boy. Living my best life with these fics 🥰️

First, I realized I hadn’t read any original fiction lately so I lit upon this incredibly fun, exciting, and interesting original work that I read inside about 2 days or something: Devolution: A Firsthand Account of the Rainier Sasquatch Massacre by Max Brooks (of World War Z and Zombie Survival Guide fame; also son of the inimitable Mel Brooks)

Summary: As the ash and chaos from Mount Rainier's eruption swirled and finally settled, the story of the Greenloop massacre has passed unnoticed, unexamined . . . until now. But the journals of resident Kate Holland, recovered from the town's bloody wreckage, capture a tale too harrowing--and too earth-shattering in its implications--to be forgotten. In these pages, Max Brooks brings Kate's extraordinary account to light for the first time, faithfully reproducing her words alongside his own extensive investigations into the massacre and the legendary beasts behind it. Kate's is a tale of unexpected strength and resilience, of humanity's defiance in the face of a terrible predator's gaze, and inevitably, of savagery and death. Yet it is also far more than that. Because if what Kate Holland saw in those days is real, then we must accept the impossible. We must accept that the creature known as Bigfoot walks among us--and that it is a beast of terrible strength and ferocity. Part survival narrative, part bloody horror tale, part scientific journey into the boundaries between truth and fiction, this is a Bigfoot story as only Max Brooks could chronicle it--and like none you've ever read before. my thoughts: First, the ending was hilarious in a very good way to me. But back to the start: I adored the premise of a small cast of well-defined characters getting isolated and cut off from society and then threatened/hunted by monsters. The market on that formula will just never get saturated for me, lol. And then as the story continues to unfold, it just nails the suspense-action pacing and all while capturing such fascinating psychological reactions of its characters. Extra points for the clever, entertaining ways Brooks tears apart the romanticism of nature that many people tend to tout (without really being too harsh or mean towards those people). This book was a super fun ride.

The Cause Sanguine by glasslogic. Rated R, Dean/Sam, 48k words. Summary: Dean is lonely and depressed following the death of his father in a hunting accident. Guilt and grief are causing his life to spiral out of control, so he takes a rare moment of sobriety to walk away from everything and move to a remote cabin in the wilds of Montana. But it’s a very different world up there for him than the town-to-town drifting he has known all his life. Overhearing gossip one night in a local bar, he gets into an argument over the reality of werewolves and stumbles out into the woods in an ill-advised attempt to prove his point. But things never go smoothly for Dean, and what he finds changes everything he understands about hunting, his father, and even his own purpose in life. Dean has seen and done a lot in his time on the planet, but nothing has ever prepared him to navigate the strange roads of a relationship with someone who is only human three nights a month. ao3.org/works/337946 my thoughts: immediately feeling for Dean's grief and understanding his decisions to settle in little Sunvalley, Montana, the story gets off to a great start. Then the soft slow burn of learning who Sam is and how they develop trust and love is awesome. This was a really cool, sweet supernatural romance. Made me want to buy a fur rug, haha. There's a sequel I should check out too. This fic has been added to my animal transformations reclist.

Afterimage by paleogymnast. Rated NC-17, Sam/Dean, 27k words. Summary: "If you had it to do over again, and you could change everything, would you?" When all appears lost, Dean Winchester—battered, weary, guilty, and alone—is given the opportunity to travel back in time and live his life over again with the promise that if he makes the one choice he was too afraid to make before, he will be able to change the future, and avoid the loss of everyone he ever loved and everything he fought for. But how? After all, he knows time can’t be changed… But with the help of a mysterious entity, who may or may not be the actual God of Time, Dean discovers time can be rewritten. Armed only with the ghosts of memories from his former life—afterimages of rewritten time—but not really understanding the gift he’s been given, the new Dean, an impossibly young 27-year-old hunter, once again turns to his estranged brother when their father goes missing. But when he takes a chance on forbidden love, will it be the key to saving the universe and averting the apocalypse, or will it only bring about the end even faster? ao3.org/works/4504065 my thoughts: Holy crap this author’s writing hijacked me the last week of October while I was still trying to churn out a lot of written work). I absolutely loved this story, loved how Dean pressured himself to admit his feelings for Sam during Bugs, how the author described/framed Sam & Dean’s relationship, and plot-wise how information on seasons 4 & 5 filtered into seasons 1-2ish Sam/Dean. It filled me with so much hope & happiness to imagine them besting their destinies like this with the help of Kronos. Also I'm such a sucker for soulmate tropes & loved how paleogymnast let Bobby and Missouri be cool about Sam/Dean. This fic will forever been found in my time travel reclist now.

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captain-azoren · 4 years ago

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The Spirit Forged: A New Breed

Since I’m going to be kind of busy for the foreseeable future, I don’t know how much time I’ll have to actually write fanfiction. So for now, I’m going to post outlines for the stories I do have in mind.

This right here is a prequel story to my current Spirit Forged fic, detailing how my OC Raiga came to be. If you have the time, read it and leave me a comment. I might actually write it out in full.

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· The story opens with a group of loggers in a forest at night; the trees are massive as they walk between them lit by lanterns. Deer-ox haul something massive on a cart, hidden by a tarp.

o All the men are nervous as they hear a growl in the darkness. They scream as a large animal pounces on one. The carriage bolts as the rest of the men, wielding spears and earthbending, fight the creature, but are nearly defenseless in the dark.

o The last man standing runs in terror as the creature watches him flee, eyes glowing sapphire in the dark.

· Aang and Katara visit the Eastern EK for a vacation, one of the few places they had left to see.

o They are there to see the Immortal Forest, one of the oldest and nearly unchanged wilderness areas in the world.

o Toph is busy with the metal bending academy.

o Zuko is busy being Fire Lord, with the Kyoshi Warriors still acting as body guards.

o Sokka is spending time with Suki for his vacation.

· Aang and Katara overhear a logger arguing with a businessman over how dangerous the forest is. The logger quits and the businessman, Shung, yells back that he’s replaceable like everyone else.

· Aang and Katara learn about mysterious attacks happening in the forests outside a developing city and decide to investigate.

o The attacks have either been on lumberjacks or on travelers who strayed too far from the main paths into the forests.

· Some people claim it’s a spirit, others claim it to be bandits, some dismiss it as wild predators.

· They go investigate and meet the Zhang tribe in the forest.

· The Zhang claim it isn’t them behind the attacks, but there have been territory disputes between them and the city folk over a specific spot in the forest.

· The Immortal Forest is rich with giant trees extremely suitable for lumber, but it is considered sacred. The Zhang believe only they are allowed in there, as this is their homeland. Anyone else who enters will be hunted down by Bao Hu Shou, the King of Beasts, unless they are brought in by a member of the tribe.

o Bao Hu Shou is a lion-tiger spirit, one of the oldest and strongest, only surpassed by the likes of Raava and Vaatu.

o Bao Hu Shou was the guardian deity of the Zhang in ancient times. It was said he protected the tribe from other spirits in the era before the Avatar and before bending.

o Some legends say that Bao Hu Shou would grant his power to a worthy champion, called a Spirit Forged, who would aid in protecting the people and the lands from threats.

· The Zhang debate allowing the Avatar into the forest.

o One of the Zhang objects, a burly man in his mid-20s named Grola, but another one, Raiga, argues to let the Avatar help clear their names.

o Raiga has light brown hair styled into a mohawk, hazel eyes, dresses in brown hog monkey skins and wields twin daggers. He also carries gear for climbing trees. He is in his late teens and has many scars.

o Grola shouts at and belittles Raiga, but the Zhang elder agrees with Raiga.

o They perform a ritual to bless them.

· Raiga eagerly volunteers to be their guide. He is scrappy and hotheaded, but means well.

· They journey with Raiga through the forest and learn a bit about him.

o Raiga’s father was an outsider, possibly a Water Tribe warrior who left the South Pole to fight the Fire Nation, and his mother was a sickly member of the Zhang. For most of his childhood he was scrawny and weak, called a runt by the others, but he has persisted and grew into a nimble scout and hunter.

o Raiga was there at the Great Divide, but none of the gang remember him.

o He has so many scars because he keeps throwing himself into danger, even though he’s not a great warrior. He is a good climber and decent hunter though.

o Raiga proves to be somewhat annoying and overbearing, trying way too hard to become friends with Aang and Katara, though he seems to mean well. This makes it very hard for Aang and Katara to have any alone time.

· As night begins to fall, the group has an encounter with Bao Hu Shou. It knows they mean no harm, but tells them to leave anyway. It does not want any more humans in the forest.

o Bao Hu recognizes Aang as the Avatar, and voices its disappointment; this is not the first time an Avatar has come to intervene. Humans have tried to exploit the forest for centuries, and Bao Hu has fought them off. Avatars in the past promised to keep humans out, but sooner or later humans would break the promise.

o Bao Hu takes note of Raiga, who shows the spirit the utmost respect. Bao Hu allows them to pass through the forest for this.

o Bao Hu is very old, and time has taken its toll on him. The shrinking of the forest and the loss of followers has caused him to lose much of his strength and power. Aang pleads to let him handle things, but Bao Hu ignores him and departs with one last warning to not linger too long.

· The group sets up camp for the night. In the middle of their sleep, they are ambushed by bandits. There is a fight and Raiga discovers the bandits are other Zhang tribe members, the ones who bullied him and are led by Grola. They have abandoned their traditions in order to turn a profit;

o The Zhang bandits have made a deal with Shung to act as guides and security through the sacred forest so that they can brings heavy logging machinery in and chop down the trees for lumber.

o One logging machine is a large mecha tank on treads with a massive chainsaw.

o They offer Raiga a chance to join in on their scheme, but he refuses and fights back, but to no avail.

o Grola pushes Raiga down the side of a cliff, providing a distraction as they flee from Aang and Katara who go searching for him.

· Raiga is fatally injured from the fall, but is found by Bao Hu Shou. Impressed by his audacity and determination, Bao Hu Shou offers to save Raiga’s life by merging with him.

o Bao Hu knows that he has little time left on earth as the forests continue to shrink, but by merging, they can save both their lives and have the power to take back the forests.

o With little else to lose, Raiga agrees, and Bao Hu Shou merges with Raiga, transforming him into a beast man with claws and fangs and a tail. Raiga’s body is healed, most of his scars vanishing, and he soon finds he’s been gifted with incredible strength, agility, and heightened senses.

· As Aang and Katara search for Raiga, they stumble upon the logging camp. They try to confront the loggers, but a fight ensues.

o The Zhang fight like Jet, able to nimbly navigate the trees to fight. Others use logging machines to fight, like chains and saws and axes. Some are Earthbenders, who use their bending to uproot the stumps left behind.

o The trees hamper Aang and Katara’s ability to fight back; they don’t want to destroy any trees, but the trees get in the way of their bending.

o Katara has little water to work with, the roots prevent any major earthbending without knocking the trees over. Firebending is out of the question, as it could easily start a forest fire. Aang’s airbending skills are effective, but they’re outnumbered and they can do little to stop the logging mech, which is piloted by Shung.

o Eventually, both Aang and Katara are bound by chains and rope. Aang laments not learning metalbending, and he wonders if he needs to go into the Avatar state.

· The tide of battle turns when Raiga appears in his new form, to the shock of everyone.

o Raiga begins to tear apart the loggers and the Zhang bandits, easily able to catch the ones in the trees and take them out one by one.

o He breaks the chains holding Aang and Katara with sheer brute strength.

o The last opponent standing is the logging mech. It tries to grapple Raiga with its claw arm, but Raiga is able to overpower it.

o Raiga rips the mech to pieces, but leaves the trembling businessman when he sets his sights on Grola who tries to get away.

· High off the adrenaline and his new power, Raiga mercilessly attacks Grola, mauling him out of anger and vengeance for all the years of bullying he suffered.

· Aang and Katara are able to pull Raiga away before he can kill the leader, but Raiga has gone berserk, the spirit of Bao Hu Shou beginning to overwhelm his mind.

· Aang tries to calm Raiga down, but Raiga realizes what a monster he’s become and runs off into the forest, his roars echoing through the trees.

· Aang and Katara clean up what’s left of the camp, and Aang declares that the sacred forest is completely off limits to all except the Zhang tribe, who promise to more vigilantly protect it.

· The tribe asks about Raiga, and Aang explains what happened with him and Bao Hu Shou. They say that Raiga has become Spirit Forged, but at a price; he has lost a piece of his humanity.

· Aang decides to try and find a technique to calm spirits. He will look to the past Avatars and learn of the toll Kuruk suffered from fighting spirits directly.

· We see Raiga standing on top of a cliff looking at the stars. He lets out a roar before vanishing into the night. This is not the last they’ve seen of him.

-------

There you have it. I did consider having Sokka in this, but then I thought the fewer characters to juggle the better.

I might consider having more stories with Raiga set during Aang’s time as the Avatar. He’s basically immortal so he can show up at any time. Something eventually happens to him to make him go into the feral state he’s in by Korra’s time.

#Spirit Forged #The Spirit Forged #Raiga #Aang #Katara #fanfic #fan fiction #outline #Bao Hu Shou #Avatar #atla #Avatar The Last Airbender #OC #original character

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ckret2 · 5 years ago

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7, 8, 19

God I can’t believe you asked the two questions on a writing meme that require me to actually go through my writing. You want me to just CHOOSE some of my FAVORITE WRITING? Unbelievable.

Okay I’m going to grab a couple of scenes based on “what fics do I have recent reviews for on AO3 and thus links on the front page that I can easily click?”

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

(This is from “Self-Portraits from Elonia”)

She'd never been to a dance before—or a party of any kind. She'd never been invited to any, as a Transformer among organics. When the Solstar Knights were asked to provide security at big interplanetary events, she was told to stay in the ship as backup. Even as a child, she'd been politely but firmly discouraged from coming to school dances with the other students, for fear of their safety if a giant war machine started cutting up the dance floor. And yet, despite her total inexperience, driven by some instinct that transcended time, space, culture, and species, she did exactly what every shy soul does upon entering a party.

She hugged the nearest wall and started looking around for people she knew.

(I like a lot of my prose in “Self-Portraits from Elonia,” tbh. Possibly TOO MUCH since you are, apparently, not supposed to spend a whole long time describing things like art displays because that’s not as interesting to the reader as it is to the writer. But like what if I want you to know about the unique art styles of a dozen different planets with a shared parent culture, I ask you? What then.)

(Anyway this isn’t one of the art displays. But I like the prose in this bit too because it’s, like, a whole lot of little character details that touch on a lot of different aspects of Stardrive’s background in a way that actively contributes to the scene because it simultaneously tells you something about her place in her culture and also about her childhood and also about her relationship with/interaction with things like parties and social events.)

(I also like building up to things that are Big And Grand And Significant and then undercutting them with something small and goofy.)

(Bonus line:)

The first theater was showing three movies (fiction), the first pieces of joint Cybertronian/Earthling cinema; one was identified as an Academy Award winner, which she assumed meant it must be some student film at an art school. Cross-planet collaboration had to start small, she supposed.

(I just like having “outsider” characters, of other species/cultures, wildly misunderstanding something that’s familiar to us, BUT misunderstanding it in a way that makes TOTAL SENSE and is completely logical. A lot of times I see people try to do the Alien Misunderstanding trope but the gist of the joke always seems to be “haha isn’t it so weird how the aliens make a totally off-base assumption, look at how weird and inexplicable they are” and that just annoys me. Like, if you can’t make your aliens make sense, you haven’t written your aliens well enough yet. The joke isn’t good until you're going “lmao well of course the alien thinks that, why wouldn’t they?” and, for bonus points, made the humans look like the strange/unfamiliar ones.)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

(This is from “No Tongue, No Teeth” w/ names changed for simplicity’s sake.)

"And no tongue," Rodan stuck his out demonstratively, "and no teeth." He didn't really have teeth to demonstrate that with, so he clacked his beak a couple of times and hoped Ghidorah would figure it out from context.

"After courting?"

"No! Not before or after. No tongue, no teeth."

Middle and right immediately looked at left head. Lefty reared up, looked at Rodan with the deepest of offense, and said, "Tongue tastes you."

Rodan hopped up to Ghidorah, made deep, soulful eye contact with each head, and said, calmly but passionately, "I want you to not taste me."

Lefty made a displeased noise.

"Do you understand?"

They considered the question. "What is 'want'?" the right one asked. The other two, sensing an opportunity, immediately piped up: "What is 'not'?" "What 'taste'?"

Oh, they were comedians now. Rodan fluttered up, brandishing his talons at their faces. They backed off with only one stray snap at his feet, making a rumbling noise low in their throats that was probably either a death threat or a sound of amusement.

(Context for folks that haven’t been reading my Godzilla fics: Rodan and Ghidorah are two different species from two different planets, and over the course of tens of thousands of words worth of fic Rodan has been slowly teaching Ghidorah his language. Which I actually keep track of, in a word file, listing every single shared vocab word they have between the two of them and which fics they learned it in. At the point of this scene, they’re operating on, probably, about a hundred shared words.)

(One of the downsides of going for Extreme Realism in language barriers is that they both have to communicate in very simple sentences and have a very limited range of topics—just about everyone here had to study a second language at some point, yeah? Either out of necessity/practicality or for school? Think about how much you could communicate and how well you could do it after your first month learning the language. And you probably didn’t sound very bright while doing it.)

(This scene is one of the first points where Ghidorah actually gets to express some personality in their new language: indignation at being banned from licking, and then joking around by pretending not to understand an instruction that they’d rather not follow. I’m pleased whenever I get to put in moments like that with highly limited vocab. It’s a lot less common now that they’re moving on to full sentences tho.)

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Sometimes I talk/joke about having a discussion/argument with my muse, like so, but I don’t really personify it and/or have a specific figure-character-image-person-whatever that I consider my “muse.”

Short story time! When I was in like 2nd or 3rd grade I went on a field trip to the local city park and some park people presented some animals for us, including a tarantula that the park person held in his hand to show us little kids, and when he was done telling us about it he said “does anyone have any questions?” and I shot up my hand and said “CAN I HOLD IT??” and he said “... okay but you’re the only one.”

Years later I discovered a photo from that field trip of me, this tiny little kid who looks as uninteresting as possible—like, I look like that little kid from the Babadook when he’s not screaming except with the world’s most boring banged bob—except said kid is holding a spider so big she needs both hands for it and is giving this astounding Jim Carrey-level villain grin.

For a while, I referred to the image of that kid with the spider as my muse. Kinda lost interest in doing that though.

#about my writing #meme #soundwavereporting #ask

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cruelangelstheses · 5 years ago

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something lonesome

fandom: dragon age rating: G characters: fenris/m!hawke, original child character, anders words: 3k additional tags: canon compliant, kid fic, some implied past violence description: when fenris finds an orphaned elven child in the kirkwall alienage, all he knows is that he has to help her somehow. a/n: hello everyone!! i wrote this fic for the @fenriszine and now that the orders have been shipped out i can finally post it!! :D i’m thinking about writing more fics in this ‘verse as well :0 title is from “from eden” by hozier

read it on ao3

—

The alienage is so busy, Fenris almost doesn’t hear the cries—almost.

It’s not rare to hear an infant wailing, but this is different. It’s plaintive, almost mournful, the howl of someone crushed under the weight of a terrible loss. Intrigued, Fenris stops in his tracks and listens closely, furrowing his brow. Some elves bump into him or brush past him, shaking their heads or muttering something under their breath. After a few seconds of standing in the middle of the street like a fool, he hears it again: tiny, high-pitched sobs.

Fenris had planned on just dropping off the food for Merrill and then leaving the alienage before he could get roped into anything. Too late for that now, it seems.

Turning his head to the side, he quickly pinpoints the probable source of the sound: an alleyway partially hidden by barrels and the shadows of buildings. When he takes a few steps forward, his suspicions are confirmed—the cries get louder the closer he gets.

At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be anything in the alley. Fenris peers behind one of the barrels, and there he spots the perpetrator, huddled in the dirt and the darkness: an elven child, probably no older than four, curled up in the fetal position.

The child must have heard his footsteps, or otherwise sensed his presence, because she lifts her head up abruptly, revealing a reddened and tear-streaked face. Her skin is only a shade or two lighter than his, and her pointed ears protrude from underneath a mess of long, tangled black hair. Upon seeing Fenris towering over her, the girl gasps, her bright green eyes widening in fear.

Fenris isn’t quite sure what to do, so he holds his hands up in a universal gesture of surrender. “Hold on,” he says, his voice steady. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

The girl sniffles and wipes at her eyes, her lip trembling. She doesn’t seem all that convinced.

Fenris kneels down in front of her. “What happened?” he asks softly, trying his best to adopt a less threatening demeanor, a difficult task when he looks quite...well, threatening.

Unexpectedly, the girl stands up and points toward the alienage, her expression suddenly solemn. Without a word, she steps out into the street, gesturing for him to follow her. Fenris raises a confused eyebrow and rises to his feet.

The girl scurries halfway across the alienage, darting in between groups of elves and ducking underneath their hands. Fenris, being much larger than her, almost crashes into a few of them in his effort to keep track of her. Finally he finds her standing in front of a little home similar to Merrill’s, only Merrill’s front door has never been knocked off its hinges (as far as he knows). It lies broken against the wall, a signifier to all who enter that the rest of the place will probably be in a similar state.

“Is this your house?” Fenris asks the girl. She nods.

When he steps into the main room, he catches the distinct scent of corpses and burnt flesh. He doesn’t even need to see the bodies to get an idea of what may have happened—one glance at the broken furniture, bloodstains, charred wood, and half-frozen weapons is enough.

The first body he finds is that of a templar, badly burned, lying near the entrance to the back room. Fenris already knows what he’ll find on the other side, but he forces himself to take a look.

The smell of death is worse in this room, where pools of blood surround two dead elves on the floor. Though neither wear mage robes, the woman holds a staff in her hand; the man seems to have fought with daggers.

“They came for Mama.”

Fenris jumps at the sound of the voice and spins around to see the young girl standing in front of him, speaking to him for the first time. “They wanted to...to take her away,” she continues. “She didn’t want to. And Papa didn’t want her to. And things got scary. So I ran.”

“I...I see,” Fenris says slowly. Templars sometimes take children of mages away, to be raised by the Chantry—perhaps they never found her after she fled the house. “And you have no other family that could take you in?”

The girl shakes her head.

It doesn’t take long for Fenris to come to a decision. He can’t just leave her here. With an awkward half-smile, an attempt at comfort, he says, “Well, I suppose you will just have to come with me for the moment.”

The girl narrows her eyes in confusion. “Huh?”

“I can help you find somewhere to stay,” he explains. “Will that be alright?”

Some part of his mind wonders if it’s silly to negotiate with a child. He hasn’t had much experience with them; he wouldn’t know. But the way the girl looks at him—with trust and possibly even respect—makes him think that it isn’t, or it shouldn’t be.

“Yes,” the girl says finally. “Thank you, messere.”

For a moment, Fenris wonders if he heard her correctly. Messere—the title one uses when speaking to someone of greater social status in the Free Marches. It’s a title he never expected anyone to be able to use for him, not even a four-year-old. Clearly her parents taught her to be polite. Caught off guard, he says, clearing his throat awkwardly, “I—yes, well—you’re welcome. But, ah, feel free to call me Fenris instead.”

“Okay,” the girl says. “Um...I’m Lyra.”

“Lyra,” Fenris repeats. He likes the way it feels on his tongue. “Well, then, Lyra. Let’s find a place for you, shall we?”

—

“Finding a place” for Lyra turns out to be a much more difficult task than Fenris expected. The Kirkwall Chantry isn’t willing to take in the elven daughter of a mage, so he couldn’t give her to them even if he wanted to. The elves in the alienage are already struggling under the weight of poverty, so none of them can afford another mouth to feed, and none of the other humans want an elven child.

Lyra, for her part, doesn’t seem to want human parents, either. Already naturally shy and skittish, she shrinks in fear whenever Fenris tries to introduce her to a human acquaintance, even Hawke, who has always been popular with children. Hawke offers to take her in—says the estate feels too big and empty without his mother in it—but when Fenris mentions this to Lyra, she simply shakes her head furiously. It doesn’t matter that two dwarves and an elven servant also live there; all that matters is that there is a human.

That just leaves Varric and Merrill, and Varric respectfully declines. “The Hanged Man is no place for a child,” he says, and Fenris is inclined to agree. Merrill offers, but she can barely take care of herself at the moment, so focused on her mirror that she forgets to eat—that’s the whole reason Fenris was even in the alienage that day. It very rapidly becomes clear that Lyra will probably have to stay at his place for a little while, a prospect that alarms him far more than it should for reasons he can’t quite describe.

It’s not that he’s embarrassed about the mansion; it’s as good as anywhere else, and he likes the idea of destroying things that Danarius considers “his,” of letting a symbol of depravity crumble around him. Still, he feels the need to warn Lyra about its deterioration so that she isn’t surprised by the stark contrast between it and the surrounding mansions.

Lyra, however, is in awe of the place, her eyes wide with wonder as she takes in the double staircases, the statues, the high ceiling. As he leads her up the stairs, she asks timidly, “How come you don’t live in the alienage?”

“It’s a long story,” Fenris replies. “Let’s just say I got lucky.”

The irony of that phrase isn’t lost on him. Having been a slave isn’t exactly something to be envious of.

—

Days turn into weeks with Lyra living in Fenris’s mansion. He doesn’t mind, necessarily, and he has enough coin to feed them both, but Aveline is getting antsy. It’s been hard enough for her to hide an elven adult squatting in a deteriorating Hightown manor; adding a child to the mix has only made the neighbors more suspicious. No one has contacted her about actually taking Lyra, though, even temporarily, so there’s nowhere else for the poor kid to go.

Besides, Fenris realizes that he actually rather likes her. She’s quick and clever, but he soon discovers that she can also be playful once she gets comfortable. Sometimes she asks him to tell her a story, only for her to argue with him the whole way through. Occasionally, he’ll find her trying to lift one of his weapons or playing with kitchen knives. She’ll sneak up on him to startle him or climb onto his back while he’s sitting and demand a piggyback ride—but she also listens when he speaks seriously and comes to him when she gets upset.

Fenris can’t watch her all the time, obviously, since Hawke is always bringing him on some sketchy mission or another, but that’s where Bodahn comes in. Lyra takes to him and Sandal immediately, and she seems to see Orana as almost an older sister figure. When he and Hawke return, though, she shrinks behind one of them at the sight of a human, a pitiful transformation from vibrant and animated to the terrified girl she was when Fenris found her.

Eventually she does warm up to Hawke, who still insists on visiting the mansion for reading lessons, but it takes some time. At first, she just sits on the other side of the room, watching them carefully without a word. It isn’t until Hawke’s third visit that she actually speaks to him, asking questions and making comments. Hawke, of course, takes it all in stride, and slowly but surely, Lyra starts to look at him not with fear but with awe.

After close to three years, the sessions aren’t so much “lessons” as “Fenris reading books to Hawke and occasionally stumbling over a word or two.” Fenris constantly reminds him that he doesn’t have to do this anymore, but still Hawke visits once a week, a grin on his face and a book in hand. “He’s just using it as an excuse to visit you,” Isabela said about it once, smirking, but Fenris didn’t quite believe it. He still doesn’t.

It’s during one of these sessions that Fenris notices something different about Lyra. She seems more subdued than usual—at this point, she’s gotten comfortable enough to make comments about the story they’re reading from underneath the desk, where she likes to sit and listen (while playing with Fenris’s toes). Today, though, she doesn’t say much of anything, not even at a major plot twist that nearly makes Fenris toss the novel across the room. He tries to engage her by asking what she thinks, but the most he gets out of her is a noncommittal grunt or a one-word answer.

At first, he figures she’s probably just grumpy. After Hawke leaves, though, Fenris hears her coughing.

“Lyra?” he says, peering underneath the desk. He finds her lying on the ground, cheeks flushed, breathing labored, forehead beading with sweat. At the sound of his voice, she gazes up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

Fenris tries not to immediately launch into a panic. “Lyra, how long have you been feeling like this?”

“Since...yesterday,” she says weakly. “Got worse...today.”

Fenris groans and runs a hand through his hair, mentally kicking himself. He noticed that she seemed drowsier than usual this morning, but other than that, she showed no outward signs of sickness. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want...to worry you,” Lyra says, closing her eyes and coughing again.

Fenris’s mind races, and the solution comes to him almost instantly. Breathing deeply and trying to sound calm, he says, “Listen. I’m going to take you to a human in Darktown. He is good at what he does. Nothing bad will happen to you.”

Lyra doesn’t protest. When he picks her up, her head lies limp on his shoulder.

—

The sun is almost below the horizon by the time Fenris reaches the clinic and shoves the door open.

Anders is the only one there, in the process of cleaning a bloody cot when he looks up and registers Fenris’s presence. “What—?” he starts, narrowing his eyes in confusion, before his gaze drops to the now-unconscious child in Fenris’s arms. “Oh, no.”

“Do something,” Fenris says, almost pleading.

Anders doesn’t hesitate. Gesturing to a clean cot nearby, he says, “Lay her down over there.”

Fenris spends most of his time in the clinic pacing back and forth, agitated, his focus always on Anders and Lyra. He should have noticed sooner. He should have paid closer attention to her. He should have made sure she knew to come to him. He should have—

“Fenris.” Anders’s voice breaks through his panicked thoughts. Fenris glances over at him, at the way his hands glow with bright blue light as they hover over Lyra. Without looking up from her, Anders says, “She’ll be alright.”

Automatically, Fenris breathes a sigh of relief and sits down on the next cot over, watching them. “It’s a pretty common illness,” Anders continues. “Children just aren’t as resistant to it because their bodies haven’t built up immunity yet. She’ll have to stay here overnight so I can keep an eye on her, but after that she should be fine.”

Fenris nods slowly. He’ll admit, Lyra already looks a bit better. “I...thank you,” he says, somewhat awkwardly.

“It’s nothing.”

For a moment, neither of them say anything. Then Anders finally looks up at him with the faintest smile and says, not unkindly, “You’ve gotten quite attached to her, haven’t you?”

That catches Fenris off-guard. He opens his mouth to deny it, but he can’t come up with any plausible excuse. It’s only been about a month and a half, but in that time he’s come to enjoy Lyra’s presence in his life. He hates to think of anything bad happening to her, and he’ll be sad to see her go with another family.

“I...suppose,” he mutters, but now that someone has actually said it, it can’t be ignored. He has gotten attached. It’s almost pathetic.

—

About two weeks later, Fenris learns that Varania is in Kirkwall.

When he returns from the Hanged Man that fateful day, Lyra bombards him with questions. “How did it go? What did she look like? Was she nice? What did you talk about? Am I gonna get to meet her?”

Fenris only answers the last one. “No,” he says brusquely as he opens the door to the mansion. “You will not get to meet her.”

Lyra frowns. “Why not?”

Fenris sighs. “Because sometimes there is a difference between being linked by blood and being family.”

He says it offhandedly, a statement filled with bitterness and loneliness, but as the words leave his mouth, he glances down at the child he’s been caring for and realizes that perhaps it’s true in more ways than one.

—

The next day, things start to fall into place.

Danarius is dead. He is free to do whatever he wishes. More importantly, though, Hawke is still there. Hawke wants to be there. As they talk, Fenris wonders if perhaps Isabela was on to something. He’s never felt such longing in his life, never allowed himself to—but Hawke has proven to be an exception more times than Fenris can count.

When they finally, finally kiss, Fenris feels his chest brim with something akin to hope. He can still have a future. He can still have a family.

As if on cue, Lyra waltzes into the room about four seconds later. “Ewww!” she groans, sticking her tongue out and immediately walking away. “I knew it! I knew you were like Mama and Papa! I knew it!”

Hawke and Fenris separate almost instantly. Fenris can feel his cheeks heating up. Hawke mutters, “How much tension must we have had, for even a four-year-old to figure it out?”

“Don’t underestimate her,” Fenris replies. “She is quite clever.”

Hawke nods and scratches his beard in thought. “You know, speaking of the future,” he says slowly, “what are you planning to do about her?”

Fenris pauses before finally speaking the ludicrous idea that’s been bouncing around in his head. “I’ve...been considering...keeping her. Raising her.”

He waits for Hawke to call him crazy, but it never happens. Instead, Hawke grins and says, “Two can play at that game.”

Fenris just smiles and kisses him again.

—

It happens a week later, at the estate.

One minute, Lyra is running around the house with Sandal. The next, she’s sobbing on the floor, despite not being visibly injured. Fenris and Hawke both rush over to her and kneel down to see her better. Sniffling, she says, “I can tell you anything, right?”

“Of course,” Fenris replies immediately.

“Okay,” Lyra says, wiping at her eyes. “I was...just playing with Sandal, but then…”

She holds her palms out. Almost immediately, a tiny flame starts to form at her fingertips. Fenris thinks back to Lyra’s mother, dead on the floor with a staff in hand.

Lyra buries her head into Fenris’s shoulder. “Don’t let them take me,” she pleads.

Hawke and Fenris exchange glances, but if he’s being completely honest with himself, there was never any doubt. Hawke is a strong mage, a skilled mage, raised by an apostate. If anyone can teach Lyra to control her powers, it’s him.

“We won’t,” Fenris says softly, pulling her into an embrace. “They will not take you from us. Nothing bad will happen to you.”

#fenriszine #fenris zine #fenris #fenhawke #hawke #male hawke #dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age #dragon age ii #papa fenris #my fics #this is my 'fenris inadvertently becomes a dad' fic and i love it to pieces

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naysaltysalmon · 5 years ago

Text

I’m back!

Upon my return from China, I noticed there were a lot of things weighing me down... that I can just throw the fuck out.

I could expound upon all of these in great detail, but it really would be pointless. And I wouldn’t be able to cover it all anyway. So instead I’ve decided to make a post of every icon I’ve used for my online persona over the years.

The reason for this is... at the end of the program I attended, we had an entire week of silent meditation. We weren’t allowed to talk or communicate with anyone in any way, including gestures, eye contact, or physical touch. So, during this time I had the realization that the stories I’ve been interested in have been my main source of comfort over the years. No person, place, or thing has felt more permanent to me than this.

However, permanence is an illusion, as the Buddhists say (I stayed in a Buddhist monastery in China, in case you’re wondering). My interests have changed over the years -- from the first fandoms I got obsessed with, to my interests now. I may still adore the series that I enjoyed as a child, but definitely not in the same way.

Coming home, I realized... I no longer want to attach my identity to one character or series. That’s why I’ve decided to make this post. I want to reflect on all the egos of my past, on what they have meant to me, so that I can let them go. I’ve been clinging to a folder of them for too long.

To anyone who’s been here since the very start of my blog, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an acknowledgement of my transformation from then until now.

And so:

Breadward Elric. My first Internet icon, which I had for 2 and a half years from May 2011 -- 2013. My blog was originally entirely FMAB content, created in January of 2012, and while this format didn’t last the entire time that I had this icon, Breadward saw me through the majority of my early anime and video game obsessions. He jump-started my personality on the Internet as a fanfic author, a blogger, and an artist. I will never forget him... ;~;

Comrade Führer Tamama. I had this icon for 8 months in early 2013 -- early 2014. What can I say? Tamama’s passionate personality resonated with me, especially when he was finally able to be in control (in the episode this particular screenshot is from). Gotta get those cola oceans pronto!

Yokoso waga tainai e [Welcome to my Womb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]. I had a phase during the summer of 2014, okay. But I still love this maniacal snake’s crusty ass, fite me. I admire KagePro immensely for the popularity and development it gave characters in song format. Of course, favorite of those characters was Kuroha, a snake whose only desire was to keep granting wishes so that he could survive. Add a touch of murderous intent and you have the complete package -- I won’t deny he appealed(appeals) to my wild side -- okay moving on.

KeroTama hugge 👀. I had this icon for about 4-6 months in 2014 before the Hunter x Hunter phase hit. God, I shipped them so hard *facepalms* It was funny though, it’s like KagePro hit me like a hurricane during this summer and then I went right back to being KeroTama trash. Amazing.

Softly Smiling Pika. I kept this icon for at least 9-10 months at the end of 2014 -- early 2015, until I found Owari no Seraph. Kurapika was definitely my bae at the start of my HxH phase -- and in many ways he still is. The current arc gives me this sense of nostalgia of being a 15-year-old again, deeply in love but too in denial to see it. Watching him as a young adult, I see how far I’ve come, how I could have ended up... since I believed myself to be most closely alike with Kurapika at the time. And now I know that’s not the case... I remember debating between many other Kurapika icons and finally choosing this one because I dearly wanted to believe I too could find my happiness in the friends around me, even if it seemed all was hopeless behind the scenes.

Yuu babe. I had this icon for 4 months in the middle of 2015, I remember. Yuichiro Hyakuya was an underappreciated dorky genius at the time, much like how Gon is in HxH now, except... Now in the series... *deep sighs* *clenches fist* I still love his piercing citrine eyes and the dynamism of this icon/pose though.

Cuties T^T (MikaYuu edition). Mmm I kept this icon for a while, something like most of 2016, at least 6-8 months, probably more like 9 or 10. Looking back, I still wonder how/why the author was a fucking coward and didn’t make MikaYuu happen. We coulda had it aaallllll...... Anyway, this is when I was writing Ebony & Ivory, my most popular fic to date, so I was reveling in the reputation I gained from that. This icon was me accepting that while I was no longer friends with my best friend from middle school to 11th grade, I would still pursue my own happiness in the perfect relationship that I saw in MikaYuu. *nods* It’s fitting.

Caught Child². I shared this and the next couple of icons with a friend that I met online, who used the Gon equivalent. I think we shared this one for about 3 months of 2016. This is when I became re-obsessed with Hunter x Hunter and realized how much I had changed between 2014 and 2016. It’s an obsession that’s more or less carried onto now, and redefined my adulthood, as I see my progression as I refer back to HxH for guidance to this day.

Content Chompy Boye. I love this icon. I kept this icon for a long time, something like 5-6 months in December 2016 -- mid-2017. The colors of the background contrast with Killua’s white hair, pale skin, and dark muscle shirt... I still used this icon on other websites until just a few days ago (when I most recently changed my icon) because I thought it looked the best backdropped against the format of other websites. I love this scene in the series, though; while (human) Palm is chattering on about her worry that Gon and Killua will be able to defeat Knuckle and Shoot in time, Killua continues to eat without a care in the world. It’s a mood I feel at least once a day, whether while eating or getting a back massage -- as if that ever happens -- 11/10.

Pizza Devil Brat. I like this icon a lot and kept it on a few websites for longer too, but with the way I edited it, the green background becomes a little too headache-inducing if you stare at it too long, so 8/10 -- okay no more out of 10 ratings, this isn’t that kind of post. I believe I kept this icon for about 3-4 months in 2017 and possibly early 2018 as well. From the same scene the previous Kurapika icon came from, this remains one of my favorite scenes in the entire series for its serious undertones over the light happiness that underlies Gon’s, Killua’s, and Kurapika’s (and Leorio’s -- but he’s not in this scene) interactions with each other throughout the series.

Grumpy Gem Gremlin. I was sharing the last three icons with that friend, including this one, with the Phos equivalent (more or less). I think we only kept it for about a month or month and a half in 2017 or beginning of 2018 before switching to the next one. Cinnabar’s desire for a purpose and closeness to others despite her poisonous nature... is definitely something I can understand and relate to.

Sad Gem Child. Damn, I think we’re all still waiting for the day Gormie realizes Aechmea’s a creepy sugar daddy and dropkicks his ass into the ocean where the Admirabilis can decompose his cloudy body like he doesn’t deserve. When will Land of the Lustrous return from the war? I’m still waiting, Ichikawa. Anyway I think we kept this icon for about a month or maybe two in 2018, not long at all.

Gay Childe™. Look, this is one of the gayest scenes in the entire series and it’s right after my favorite episode(s)/scene(s) in the entire series (so far) and it’s not even acknowledged by anyone. Just. Holy Fuck. Anyway I think I kept this icon for about 6-8 months to cap off 2018. And this is where the Big Breakup happened, where my friend decided to choose an icon that deviated from mine, but I kept this icon for a lot longer due to what this scene means to me, placed after/during my favorite episode. ;v;

And finally, BoMH (Blood on My Hands) Pika. I used this icon for 8 months from the start of 2019 until just a few days ago (approx. 8 months). This icon was originally the cover for a Kurapika fic that I started back in 2015 and ended up discontinuing because it was pretty slow-paced, and thus unpopular, which made it become difficult for me to write. But I got all the way up to 97k words before I quit, simply because of the freedom and joy I felt in creating all the OCs that I fit into Kurapika’s journey as he searched for the Kurta eyes after the Yorknew City Arc. Looking back, I’m proud of the planning and commitment that I succeeded in undertaking with this fic -- it was about halfway done by the time I stopped writing it -- and I feel I want to return to this concept one day. Even if the arcs were pretty formulaic at times and, well, boring, I wanted this icon at the start of 2019 to be a new person separate from my recent past matching icons; a representation of my ability to reconnect with my past, but to no longer be afraid of it; to be proud of it, but still recognizing the not-so-good parts, laying it to rest by no longer avoiding it.

My icon now, as I’m sure you can see... is nothing like those I’ve used thus far. I definitely have no intention of moving away from anime or my past. I simply wish to redefine who I am in relation to them, rather than being defined by them.

...I’ve discovered a lot about myself over the past 2 years since college started, more than I ever thought possible. I discovered a lot while in China, too. And I need my online persona to reflect that in every form, as I’ve done every time there was a change.

Thank you all for being with me on this journey: for following me, for reading my posts, for liking my art, for talking with me and blowing up my notifications on every platform...

I’ll be pursuing the next chapter(s) of Human, TIDU, and other works soon. ^.^

#Nay talks #idk i thought it would be cool/fun #The End of an Era #thank God #i mean the Buddha #i mean whatever #i can say that as a Religion major

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almaasi · 6 years ago

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Thank you SO MUCH to the 2,000 people subscribed to me on AO3 (and my 10,000 followers on tumblr)!!!

Thank you for your endless kindness, and every comment ever sent my way. Thank you for getting excited about what I make. You’re all wonderful.

In celebration, here’s some art, which is based on a dream I had the other day. Plus!! Under the read-more: A fic rec of people’s favourite 15 stories, which you guys voted for in my recent survey. ♥

★ A list of the many ways YOU can support my writing and art !!

★ All my Destiel fics on AO3

★ Subscribe on THIS PAGE to get an email when I post a few fic~

Top Voted Destiel fics (written by @almaasi)

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Try-Something Tuesday · 48k · NC-17

Human AU. Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He’s new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean’s curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only…

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Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies · 17.6k · M

Dean’s roommate is not what anyone would call ordinary. Cas is asexual, and autistic, and he frustrates other people with his unrelentingly ‘childish’ ways – but it’s different with Dean: they have an exceptional bond, something truly profound. Dean figures Cas wouldn’t respond to the idea of a crush the way most people would, so he has no intention of telling him he’s been harbouring non-platonic feelings for him for years. Then one night everything falls to pieces: Cas overhears something he wasn’t meant to hear. Things were never normal between the two of them, but now they might never be comfortable again.

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Note to Self: Cas Loves You · 3.4k · T

Dean is not just drunk – he is VERY drunk. Castiel ushers him back to their motel room, completely aware that by the time Dean wakes up tomorrow, he won’t remember anything about tonight. What better time for Castiel to confess his love?

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Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture · 10.4k · NC-17

Sam’s been through a lot lately, what with tonight’s hunt rendering his skin an aching shade of purple and all. He can deal with Dean being overly concerned about Cas’ broken finger, and - God help him - he puts up with the sound of their preposterously soppy love confessions and first kisses on the adjacent bed. But he cannot be expected to remain silent and feign sleep throughout the entire duration of their first-ever lovemaking session. He just can’t. Especially not, because it seems apparent that Cas is more intent on deflowering himself than letting Dean do it.

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A Postcard for Castiel · 4.7k · G

The teacher assigns a buddy to all the children in her first-grade class. Everyone writes their buddy a postcard, giving them a compliment. Dean is supposed to write something for Castiel, the mysterious autistic kid in the corner – but he doesn’t hand anything in. Does he have nothing to say? Or does he have too much to say?

p.S. will you Be my Boyfrend ?

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Dean’s List · 3.3k · T

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

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Understanding Your Body in Ten Easy Steps · 12.2k · NC-17

All Dean has to do is track down a decent porno for Cas to watch, help him find his sensitive spots, then hang back and let him do his thing. Easy-peasy. No homo. …Absolutely no homo at all.

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Welcome All Winchesters · 60.2k · NC-17

When Dean’s engagement breaks off three days before Christmas, he’s left with nobody to accompany him on a road trip to his family’s mountain log cabin. His best friend Castiel happens to be available, and is willing to help him through a tough time. But when Dean’s mother and brother arrive, expecting to meet the person Dean plans to marry, they understandably assume Castiel is Dean’s fiancé. After a weekend of comfortable domesticity, sharing clothes, intimate conversations, and definitely-one-time-only therapy sex, it feels almost too easy for Dean and Cas to fake a loving, romantic relationship. The hard part is going back to being friends afterwards. They can’t keep their hands off each other, and they’ve discovered some fun things to do together which they’d never tell another soul about. And, oh boy, feelings. Now being ‘just friends’ is so impossible, it seems as if fate had another plan for them all along…

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Snow Place Like Home (But My Home Is With You) · 47.8k · NC-17

It’s Christmas Eve, and Dean, Sam and Castiel are snowed into a small town with a big festive spirit. They splurge on a fancy room in a B&B – hey, they deserve a treat. There’s a tiny plastic tree and a working TV, so they could perhaps overlook the lack of hot water and Dean having to bunk with Sam. Sleeping arrangements soon reach a happier equilibrium: Dean’s just cuddling Cas to keep him warm, he swears – the tingly feeling means nothing! Christmas Day arrives, and Cas still doesn’t have a gift for Dean. Dean doesn’t know what to give Cas, either. Sam has a few ideas, but will the other two truly understand what he means?

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Love Him in His Sleep (Love Him Always) · 32.7k · NC-17

After Cas banishes Dean’s nightmares, Dean starts to have wet dreams… about being cuddled. When he wakes, he’s sticky and aroused - and he loves it. Oh, he loves it a lot. Castiel, meanwhile, is struggling with his own descent into the murky waters of human morality. How is he supposed to explore all these new lustful feelings if Dean insists on keeping him at arm’s length?

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Cowboys and Real Estate Angels · 36.8k · NC-17

Castiel crosses paths with the ever-charming Dean Winchester at a rodeo show in Texas, of all places. Dean’s singing days are long bygone, but his crowd-pleasing skills haven’t waned one iota. Unexpectedly, Castiel finds himself in Dean’s bedroom; they take and they give, and discover that sometimes strangers can find love like this, too. (And if a man’s faith can’t be put in God, it needs to go somewhere…)

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Nine Times We Met (And One Christmas We Parted · 58.4k · NC-17

On the last day of school before Christmas vacation, Mr. Castiel Quinn discovers that one of his young students has smuggled male pornography into the classroom. Upon being told that the photos belong to the boy’s uncle, Castiel vows to himself that he will keep the other man’s preferences a secret. It’s 1947; a man experiencing attraction to another man or fantasising about his sexual touch are transgressive faults, which could potentially result in imprisonment - or worse. But then the uncle walks in. The photos are of him: Dean Winchester, a rogue with an empty pocket and a child to feed. Castiel doesn’t know it yet, but his life is never going to be the same again. Years pass between chance meetings, but even though they live their lives apart, Dean and Castiel’s story is proof that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.

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Angelhawke · 407k · NC-17

A Dean/Cas Fantasy-Drama AU, set in a medieval world where two men are separated by a curse: every sunrise and sunset, both are eternally bound to transform into animals. Every night when darkness falls, Dean Winchester becomes a wolf, and his human mind is lost until the dawn. As the sun rises, his lover Castiel becomes a hawk. Their story has been the same for five years - until the day that a young thief named Sam stumbles into their twisted lives. Without even realising it, he becomes a part of their destiny, their paths entwined in prophecy and fate. Together with a few old friends, they set off on a journey to break the curse, but it won’t be easy. To pass the time, Dean and Castiel take turns to recount their past to Sam, narrating the tale of how they met, how they formed their profound bond, and how they found themselves wanting what no man should ever want: the touch of another man.

‘Angelhawke’ is a saga of forbidden love, friendship, and magic - but above all, family. Partially based on the 1985 movie ‘Ladyhawke’.

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Sharing the Rain Dog · 19.8k · M

When some asshole hits a dog with his car and drives off, the first two people on the scene are Dean and Castiel. Castiel’s an FBI agent with a plane to catch, and he doesn’t have time to take the dog to the vet. Dean’s a musician, and he doesn’t have the money. An agreement is reached: Dean goes, Castiel pays, and they’ll exchange details and meet again to work things out. But who gets the dog? Sooner or later they’re going to realise that having shared custody of one pitbull isn’t ideal. She needs one home, not two. One stable, loving home…

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Our Garden Home · 36.3k · G

Flower fairy Dean has caught a thief in his trap. As it turns out, it wasn’t a mouse stealing his food. It was Castiel: a hissy, bitey bat sprite with one wing and a forlorn, lonely heart. Dean offers a warm space in his nest, where Castiel can stay until Springtime comes around again. However, Castiel becomes more than just a guest. With a little effort, he helps make Dean’s nest a home.

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saranel · 8 years ago

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Thanks for the update to TEF! Love ALL your fics! I'm wondering if you think there would even be any attraction between Urayoru if they never grew up together? Would he even have made it to Captain? Would they have been friends, anyway? Thanks and looking forward to your answer :)

Tyyyy!

And I love your question, because one of the things that makes the UraYoru relationship so special has always been their connection since childhood. So what happens when you take that away?

For starters, I believe we’d be looking at two different people. Not radically so, but to put it in the words of one of my favorite quotes about relationships:

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl. G. Jung

(THE AU I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED UNDER THE CUT)

If TBTP is any indication, Kisuke in his youth was a far more reserved person than the behatted trickster Ichigo first meets. And bear in mind that this is a Kisuke already influenced by Yoruichi, so I can only imagine how much shier he must’ve been as a young boy. What’s interesting, however, is the slow reveal that Kisuke in TBTP was still the same deep down, he simply lacked some of the confidence that was most likely the product of his tenure as a Captain.

I don’t believe Kisuke’s playful (and darker) side was the result of his association with Yoruichi; I believe that she drew out what was already there, lying dormant. Kisuke and Yoruichi are kindred spirits in many ways, but differ in the way they express themselves: where she will make no apologies about her brazen nature and openly tease someone, Kisuke is a manipulator who employs subterfuge to produce the same result, and not only enjoys it, but also feigns innocence –however poorly- after the fact.

One of the aspects of Kisuke’s personality I enjoy the most is the occasional peek into his more sinister side. And as much as Yoruichi seems to encourage it and even share it at times, I think that with Kisuke, it goes much deeper. In fact, I firmly believe that a friendless Kisuke could have easily become someone dangerously close to Aizen. It’s not that Kisuke doesn’t have a moral compass, or that his friends and loved ones act like it, but rather Kisuke strives to be better because of them (see: his completely new attitude toward Ichigo once he starts to truly care about him).

There’s also the matter of motivation to consider. Fun though the anime version of TBTP was, we have no idea how Kisuke and Yoruichi came to the decision to nominate him for Captaincy. Our only clue comes from Kisuke’s reflection after his first day, where he muses out loud that Yoruichi was right:

This implies that Kisuke did need a bit of convincing, but the quote he repeats explicitly states that Yoruichi’s main argument was that becoming a Captain would be ‘interesting.’ At no point does Kisuke say anything to the effect of: “Yoruichi-san was right; it’s high time I stop messing around.” What this tells me is that Kisuke, like many a genius before him, was bored. As averse as he seems to be to assuming responsibility, he’s a natural leader when he’s confident, and I’m willing to bet Yoruichi, who knew him so well, also knew that this was the kind of challenge he needed to truly shine.

Even more tellingly, Kisuke wastes no time in going forward with his plan to create the SRDI, which tells me it must’ve been on his mind for a while. But a Third Seat simply doesn’t have the necessary clout to get an organization like the SRDI approved by the Powers That Be, which leads me to believe that this was yet another reason Yoruichi wanted him to get the promotion. I can easily picture Kisuke talking her ear off for years beforehand about his sole ambition.

What I’m getting to with all this prologue is that a mind like Kisuke’s would not have been content to remain idle for long, with or without Yoruichi’s intervention. Sooner or later, one of his superiors would have taken notice, so I think he would’ve made Captain anyway, even without Yoruichi there to give him a swift kick up the ass nudge. Personally, I would love to picture him as a dark horse of sorts from the Fourth Division. Y’all know how I feel about Kisuke’s bloodlust, and the idea that Unohana could have discovered him, so to speak, as a Kidō genius and a secret zanjutsu badass (now even more so because of her tutoring) makes me beyond giddy. Just try and picture him as the deceptively meek underling from the healer squad who suddenly shows up for the Captain Exam and jaws start dropping all around when he whips out Benihime.

On the friendship front, since Yoruichi is out, this means that Kisuke didn’t grow up in the Shihōin estate and thus never met Tessai, either. So I see him as a pretty withdrawn kid who only barely socialized during his Academy years, got a little better at it as an active Shinigami, and just because their friendship gives me life, I like to picture a possible scenario in which he struck a friendship with Shinji before he made Captain. Which would’ve helped bring him out of his shell a bit.

As for Yoruichi… I think that Kisuke’s absence from her life would have marked her in deep, but not easily noticeable ways. I’ve spoken before about my headcanons re: the Shihōin Clan and how the pressure to live up to their expectations affected Yoruichi’s life. Personality-wise, I don’t think Kisuke was as big an influence to Yoruichi as she was to him, in the sense that I think she was already a spunky, outspoken kid. If anything, perhaps she learned to exert a small measure of control over herself earlier on than she would have without him.

I do, however, believe that Kisuke was a massive catalyst in the way Yoruichi balanced duty and personal desires, because I think that the Training Grounds he built for them was the first true taste of freedom Yoruichi ever had. And without it, I can picture her having a much more tumultuous relationship with her family, and a far rockier path to becoming the head of her clan. And given how both Kisuke and Yoruichi do not trust easily, their absence from each other’s lives would’ve made them even less likely to open up, in the sense that their relationships (both platonic and romantic) would’ve been far more superficial. For Yoruichi, I believe the exceptions were Kūkaku and Tessai (and perhaps Kaien, to a lesser extent), which would’ve made her a significantly less lonely child than Kisuke, but still without someone who understood her intimately.

So basically, I believe that without Kisuke, Yoruichi would still strive for the same excellence in her career and reach Captaincy before he did, though perhaps later than she did in canon, since they both also lacked a good sparring partner. Yoruichi’s proficiency with Kidō would not be quite at the same level, and similarly, Kisuke’s hand-to-hand combat and Shunpō prowess would’ve suffered as well. Not to a terrible degree, since I think both were talented enough to excel even on their own, but they wouldn’t have become the legends they were until after they met in this ‘universe.’

On a personal level, Yoruichi would, as mentioned above, appear more or less the same person to the unknowing eye, but would have an even harder time opening up to anyone.

So what would happen when a meeker Captain Urahara met this version of Captain Shihōin? Well… sparks for one thing ;) Chemistry is something you either have or you don’t. It can’t be forced, and those two have it in spades, so there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t in this universe as well.

I don’t think Yoruichi would have been very impressed with Kisuke upon first glance. That is beyond finding him cute, because c’mon:

In order for her to actually take notice, she would have to be afforded a peek into his darker side, and the way I can see it happening is either during a joint mission, of sorts, or better yet, during his Captain’s exam. Cute little woobie shuffling into the exam room all smiley and puppy-like, then he pulls out Kannonbiraki and Yoruichi is all: “HOLD THE FUCK UP.”

Which, of course, piques her curiosity and leads her to try to get to know him a bit. Perhaps by getting him to talk about the SRDI, and talking about the inventor side of her own family. And by the time they’re done talking, she’s more stunned and impressed by his genius than she’d like to admit. Kisuke, in comparison, is a goner the second he hears her laugh, this is not even up for debate.

The way I see romance blossoming in this scenario is a little ass-backwards, to be honest xD As in Yoruichi finds him interesting enough to take him to bed and sees it as a completely casual affair, whereas Kisuke is 1000% smitten and tries to win her over bit by bit. Which he does, of course, but it takes a while, because Yoruichi is a stubborn, stubborn woman.

I can even picture them being non-exclusive at first (mostly on her side) and then her slowly coming to the realization that she’s only really interested in him, so the prospect of seeing other people gradually loses its appeal until it vanishes altogether.

…………………..

……………

……You realize, of course, that now I must write this AU.

…………..Dammit.

#asks #bleach #urahara kisuke #shihouin yoruichi #urayoru #*sighs as she adds another fing WIP to her list*#xmkatx

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