#me when luna came out: LUNA?????
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blooming-cecilia · 9 months ago
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i didnt mean to make him look at you judgementally but if i attempt to erase it ill ruin it and i think then ill just die
so ig. enjoy venti giving u a bombastic side eye for liking this sort of thing windblume 🤨
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japepperony · 2 years ago
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I wish someone else came up with Harry Potter. :/
It’s like everyone in the world is slowly expanding. Whether it’s as a person or personal opinions and beliefs, or anything really. Books, cinema, wtv wtv. It’s like the Harry Potter franchise stays at the same spot never moving. Because the creator never moves. The creator is one of those people you can’t whatsoever talk into anything. When she says something it happens or doesn’t whether you want it or not. And you’d think that’d be good. But the creator has this mindset that’s unacceptable . But somehow she created the masterpiece. Beautiful world. And though it’s so beautiful and amazing. It stays- still. Do you get me? It could be so much more if she was out of the picture. There’s so much being stopped with the wave of her hand. Imagine what we could have. Imagine the ideas in your head that could become reality. It’s like she’s stuck in the frozen world. She’s repeating and repeating and repeating instead of moving forward and creating. So we’re stuck rewatch her. Disappointed and bored.
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sforzesco · 1 year ago
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Allow me, if you will, a moment to go absolutely rabid over your blog and everything that goes on here. I’ve always loved history but the USA hardly likes teaching anything that isn’t American History. I’ve forgotten how much I love WORLD history, specifically the rise and fall of empires.
I’ve been smothering myself in your posts and I love it ALL. JC, Pompey, Crassus, Sulla, Octavian, Antony, Cassius, and Brutus. Wow what a mood. You don’t miss on your references or your modern AU’s and I’m over here like- I’m trying to buy whatever web comic you put out, book you write, etc.
Also, if you’d be so kind to list some material with like themes to start breaking into these topics. Preferably materials in English or translated materials.
HELL YEAH LET'S GO
if you really want to start on the ground floor for breaking into something, I'd recommend my personal favorite approach which is picking the figure that's most interesting to you, reading through plutarch's biography on them (free! online! in english!) and then putting their name through a jstor search and reading whatever sounds fun.
other than that, the primary theme I've been wandering around in lately, so these are the materials I've been really enjoyed related to that:
The Deaths of the Republic: Imagery of the Body Politic in Ciceronian Rome, Brian Walters
The Game of Death in Ancient Rome: Arena Sport and Political Suicide, Paul Plass
Ideology in Cold Blood: A Reading of Lucan's Civil War, Shadi Bartsch
Statius and Virgil: The Thebaid and the Reinterpretation of the Aeneid, Randall T. Ganiban
Rome, Blood & Power, Gareth C Sampson
I also have a comparatives tag where I play connect the dots with texts that made my brain go brrr
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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
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Insane that Blade during Todd's quest did basically the same thing Dan Heng was doing during this last video
#Fragments and scraps#I talk too much#I had just finished Todd's quest and I had so many questions and hypotheses and then the video dropped#And goodness it gave me even more things to ponder but I also think it kind of cleared things up when it came to what was Blade mourning#I also wondered whether this came after Kafka's companion mission but now I'm pretty sure it comes before it? I think it makes sense#Seeing confirmation of Yingxing being old looking was so hard to watch whilst compared to how young Jing Yuan sounds in Chinese#And when seeing him alongside Jingliu and Baiheng‚ who were both mature women when he was a little kid#No wonder he is so prideful of his craft. He deserves it. I really adore how they implemented a lot of details in the worldbuilding#and sidequests that throw light towards the characterisation and story of some of the main characters#Specifically I can't stop thinking about Yingxing in the context of how we see shortlife humans are regarded by some people on the Xianzhou#and especially in the context of the sidequest about the master and the apprentice. Everything it implies#Anyway... This video broke me. The confrontation between Dan Heng and Dan Feng was hard enough#(guy leave the boy alone‚ *he* has nothing to repent of) as well as beautiful. Some shots were gorgeous and full of symbolism#But seeing the five friends... goodness. Yingxing's bitter smile carries a weight that I think goes beyond him losing to Jingliu#given his age and how young his friends look. The way Jing Yuan reacts as if having the braincell but also teasing them was so him#The way his voice broke later on while reading Imbibitor Lunae's punishment took me out#Baiheng reminded me a bit of March 7th in this video. It may be due to how March reacts to Dan Heng's melancholic air towards the end#And how Baiheng reacts to Imbibitor Lunae's and Yingxing's at the beginning. I don't know if the parallelism was purposeful but I loved it#They all felt actually a lot closer than I expected. Mainly Jingliu. I expected her to be close only to Baiheng given what Jing Yuan says#The images that flash over the sentence were so good and so heartbreaking#Yingxing looking at the figure over the moon‚ his chest being pierced by the sword Blade now wields‚#Jingliu blindfolded slicing something‚ someone suspended in chains‚...#And the heavy absence in those images of Jing Yuan‚ whose breaking voice hovers over them all#Truly brought back to mind Blade's line about him. How he knew better than anyone but he did or said nothing#And how he is not one of those who must pay#Everything was so charged I wanted to scream or jump off a cliff. The way the faces of Dan Heng and Dan Feng superimpose ugh#Truly everything was so good#I have so many thoughts about it I can't stop thinking hahaha#But I better shut up already. I should sleep a bit#I want to scream though. The Dan Heng/Blade parallelism makes me want to drown a sea‚ ontological barriers be damned haha
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cinephobia · 2 years ago
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I don't understand the pedro pascal hype like at all but I'm glad everyone is having fun
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lunarfied · 2 days ago
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when sean and daniel were out in the cabin in the snow (chapter 2) i could not stop thinking to myself “wow this is a yellowjackets reference”
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luveline · 4 months ago
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YES to luna lovegood/dreamy!reader!!!!!!!!! Can we possibly get one with Spencer? <3
“It’s not as bad as you think.” 
Hotch appreciates the softness of your voice, as someone who also speaks in a very measured tone, but the sound of it has his brow furrowing. You’re a brilliant analyst, and a worse distraction whenever you’re in the main office. 
“It sounds terrible?” 
Hotch peers through the window to get a good look at the scene. You’re sitting in Spencer’s desk chair with your hands stretched out in front of you. Your outfit is very pink, considering the occasion, but it’s a non-abrasive light pink that flatters your skin. You have a clip in your hair, a small silver star with pink jewels embedded along the lines. 
Emily sips at a cup of coffee, leaning against the desk, her face to the side. Hotch can see her perturbed smile. 
“It’s fine! I’ve just been sleeping on the sofa.” 
“Well. That’s a call to pest control.” 
Spencer returns to his desk with a frown and two mugs. “Pest control?” he asks, the mug he places in front of you steaming. 
“There’s a raccoon living in her bedroom.” 
Spencer burns himself on his coffee, swearing as he puts it down hurriedly beside yours. “There’s a what?” Spencer asks. 
“He’s friendly. He came in through my vent.” 
“So friendly he’s stolen your bedroom?” 
You lean back in Spencer’s chair like it’s a La-Z-Boy, blowing at the hot surface of your drink with a similar lazy smile. “Imagine being that little and having such a big bed? When you usually sleep in the garbage?” You give a breathy laugh. “He must be having the time of his life.” 
“How are you getting ready in the mornings?” Spencer asks worriedly. 
“We’re cohabiting.” 
Spencer licks his lips. He likes you, and you seem aware of that fact, and that’s nerve-wracking for everyone involved. 
“Um, maybe we can make him a house? Like, outside? Raccoons are far happier in their natural habitat, and they’re also, you know, highly diseased and contagious compared to humans. I really don’t think you should let him inside.” 
“Spencer,” you say, giving him a dozy grin, “I didn’t let him in. He knows how to get in all by himself.” 
“I’ll call a repairman, too,” Emily says with a groan. 
She walks away, probably to find JJ and get her in on the repairs. Spencer looks at you for a long time, just drinking your tea, and Hotch mentally goads him into making a semblance of a move. Even if it’s just to fix your drooping hair clip. 
“You’re looking at me strangely again,” you say. 
Winces all around. “Am I?” Spencer asks. 
“Yes. Is this about Thursday?” 
“No.” Spencer swallows. “Yes. You didn’t answer my texts, after. I just want to know what you’re thinking.”
“What I’m thinking?” 
“Yeah. I thought about it a lot, so maybe you did too. Or maybe you didn’t, and it didn’t mean anything.” 
“Of course it meant something, Spencer.” You put down your mug, dusting your knees off before you stand. Spencer is not much taller than you where you’re standing in front of him, but you look up at him anyways. Your face tips ever so slightly to one side. “Would you want to do it again?” you ask softly. 
Spencer looks around the office. He neglects to check Hotch’s window, perhaps because the blinds are more often drawn than not, and so he doesn’t realise Hotch is watching as he draws you in for a kiss. 
You preen and lean back, hands fighting to cup his cheeks, a gauzy, practically gleaming aura around you as you smile into his mouth. Your fingertips tease his hair, and Spencer’s hand settles in place against the small of your back. You kiss back for only a few seconds before you’re laughing.
Spencer moves away quickly, taking your wrists into his hands to pull them away from his face. 
“You give up too fast,” you say. 
“I don’t think this is the place for it.” 
“Well, we can’t do it at my place. What if the raccoon sees?” 
“Good point. How about Marina’s, would that be better? We can get dinner at the same time.” 
Hotch feels oddly proud of Spencer’s suave suggestion, but he also has a migraine brewing between his brows. He really doesn’t need the extra paperwork. 
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6gumi · 5 months ago
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spread ‘em further, baby.
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⋆.˚ NSFW . wc. 784 . IL dan heng ( imbibitor lunae ) x f!reader 、size k!nk 、double penetration 、established relationship 、pussydrunk!danheng & big dick!dan heng in da same frame . . . — 𝑹𝑼𝑩𝑰 : “ anotha’ sillie thirst ! hehe been thinkin’ about dan heng’s tail keepin’ your legs spread out so nicely since foreva x-x “
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IL DAN HENG was a patient man, and you knew that. well, at least that’s what you thought. his patience can be nothing more than a distraction for how he truly feels, harboring his emotions . . . harboring his own wants and his true desires, just to keep himself from losing control. but that brings a question . . . can and could he really control himself ?
this, on your part, was truly a mistake.
even so, dan heng’s heart swelled with gratitude when you put your trust in him. his dick twitched against his body . . . his massive form dwarfing your small frame. his nostrils flaring as he caught your scent, cursing himself for getting aroused by it. his tail flicked gently, providing a subtle warmth that enveloped your body from below. “so small, so perfect.” he whispered against your ear, sending shivers down your spine as he carefully positioned himself between your drenched thighs, one of his throbbing cocks nudging against your entrance with pure excitement . . . desperate to please you. “ . . . you can handle two of me, can you baby?” you paused and nodded slowly . . . feeling your cunt squeezing around nothing just by thinking about that . . . but hey ? what could go so wrong ?
“. . . i might break you, my love,” dan heng murmured softly against your ear, his teeth biting down your earlobe . . . sliding his two lengths deep inside your yearning hole as the massive girth of his cocks filled you up almost completely. each swift motion of his thrusts sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, the intensity of the experience unlike anything you had ever known. he was big, and you were sure he knew that. despite how big he was compared to you, his movements were slow and deliberate, focused on ensuring your pleasure rather than his own. his powerful muscles flexed with each thrust, his body moving with a primal grace. your boyfriend’s breath came in deep, ragged pants, his mind focused solely on the task at hand. “f—fuck . . . this pussy’s driving me crazy. look, it’s driving them crazy too.”
“d—dan heng . . .” your moans and cries of ecstasy filled his room, your hands gripping his horns as your body arched to meet each thrust. dan heng knew his own satisfaction was secondary to your pleasure, he could feel himself licking his lips when he gazed down and admired your sweaty body beneath the moonlight . . . his powerful form moving in sync with yours, entwined in a passionate dance that transcends the heavens. he explored the depths of your heat, your sweet pussy he’d been craving all day. his size was overwhelming, to say the least . . . overwhelming in the best way possible. his tongue flicked out, licking your neck gently, his breath hot against your supple skin.
“spread them further, baby.”
with a sudden flick of muscles, his powerful tail lifted your legs, spreading them wide . . . the tip of his tail gently prodding your outer folds, providing an additional source of pleasure. your boyfriend shifted his position, granting him better access to your fully exposed entrance . . . positioning you in a way that allows deeper penetration. the warmth of the scales on his tail against your flesh provided a pleasant, almost comforting sensation. both cocks throbbed, the sight of his beloved’s legs spread out like that turned him on. the tip of his first cock nudged against your bud, the swollen head already slick from your previous coupling. with the utmost care, dan heng pressed forward, the size of his dick stretching you once again . . . the familiar friction igniting the fires of desire in both of you.
“you’re s—so good to me, my love . . . so so good.” slowly and steadily, your boyfriend began to move again, his thrusts deliberate and precise . . . this new angle causing delightful sensations to ripple through you both. your hands, that were roaming through his horns, found purchase around his neck, gripping tightly as the pleasure intensified. “you’re so good at taking my cock . . mmh—both of them.” his breathing and yours, completely synchronized . . . his pretty eyes locked on yours while his heart pounded against his ribcage. with a guttural growl, he quickened his pace, in a hurry to fill you up. the rhythm of your lovemaking reaching it’s peak. he could feel his tip brushing against your most sensitive areas, desperate to fuck and find them all. the vidyadhara’s powerful tail squeezed your legs tighter, holding you in place as he drove into you with renewed vigor.
“you seem to enjoy the fact that i use my tail to spread you out so nicely . . .” dan heng leaned down, his face close to yours, breaths mingling as his body collided with yours in a passionate dance. “hm . . . should i spread you out wider then?”
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© 6GUMI 2024. modifying 、translating 、sharing my works on other platforms 、or considering them as yours is strictly prohibited.
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pearlymel · 5 months ago
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Curiosity— Imbibitor Lunae
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Synopsis: you're curious about his new form, and you can't keep your hands to yourself.
Wc: around 1.5k
Warning(s): nsfw but not really (?), grinding, making out, dan heng ruining his pants yeah... :P also gender neutral reader!!
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Ugly, a monster, a sinner.
Those were the words that circled around Dan Heng's mind as he stared at his reflection on the mirror. His expression blank, and he almost cringes at how his new features clung onto him, a reminder of someone he never was, a reminder to other people who might recognise as someone who isn't him.
He stares at himself like the mirror is about to shatter right infront of him. Ever since he came back in his new form, you were in shock. He even thought you might hate him now, thus why he was hiding and locking himself for now from the others. Maybe you're better off without—
"Dan Heng!" You barge into his room, your tone almost urgent. But you both just stare at eachother, him being in utter shock like he was just caught doing something, and you.. just coming in without even knocking.
Manners.
"You—"
"Just let me," you step back to close the door again, and he tilts his head in confusion before he hears your knuckles knock on the door twice.
"it's me, may i come in?" You ask, your tone almost eager now and he can see how the doorknob was rotating ever so slightly, making his lips twitch upwards.
"you may." And then you immediately open the door, swinging it wide then closing it behind you when you enter.
"So—"
"I'm—"
You both speak at the same time, making you suppress a laugh. "You first," he nods, and you clear your throat.
You step closer to him, which makes him already on alert, but it makes you confused. Have you dont something he did not like?
"i just..." You look around, your hand reaching to rub the back of your neck in embarrassment. "... Missed you."
The confession makes the tips of his ear flush with the faintest colour of red, he sighs in relief before opening his arms for you. You take it as an invitation, almost jumping in his arms which sends him to stumble back a bit.
"My apologies," he whispered, resting his cheek on top of your head. "Were you trying to hide away?" You ask with that suspicious tone that makes him laugh quietly.
"I was afraid you wouldn't like my new... Self." His admission made you squint your eyes, lifting your head up to look at him. "New self? You're still Dan Heng." You shrug, taking everything as if it was a normal thing which left him dumbfounded.
"you know what I'm talking about."
"you mean your new little features?" You quirk an eyebrow, breaking the embrace to place your hands on your hips.
"Well about them, it's just..." The moment you eye him from head to toe, is the moment he thinks he lost it all.
That's it, he thinks. This is the part where you will find him different and unpleasant to the eye, where you will leave him like those drama's March watches on—
"I'm really curious to touch them."
His shoulders slump at your words, your simple request was making him contemplate everything again.
"what?" You ask when you see how dejected he looks, "No, it's nothing." He straightens his back again, his eyes unfocused when he tries talking to you again.
"so... You're just curious to touch my new features?" He asks, followed by a blink of his eyes. "Yes. Specifically your horns." You answer back with the brightest smile while your hands are clasped to your back.
"My horns..." He hums, looking up at his head, his fingers inching to feel them. When he looks back at you, you step closer again to him, ready to when he gives you the permission.
And just when you were raising your hands, a "no." Slips from his lips. His back turned to you and already walking away.
You feel like an arrow was just shot right through your heart at the rejection.
"Why nooot?" You pout, following right after him, your gaze shifting to the tail on his back that's swinging back and forth. It's all so... Enchanting on him.
"Just.. no," he mumbled in a low, embarrassed tone. He sits down on the red chair, keeping his back turned at you but you were quick to turn the chair around.
"i require an explanation, my dear dragon." You try to be firm when you lean closer, resting your hands on his sides right on the arms of the chair.
But he really can't take you seriously, so he just looks at you flatly. "They're sensitive." He simply answers with his arms crossed and eyes closed.
"that's it?" You ask with a sigh.
His eyes widen when he sees how close your face is to him now when he opens his eyes again, he can almost feel a nervous droplet of sweat dropping down his nape.
"..." He remains silent for a minute while you keep up that sad expression you always put up.
When he sighs, you look back at him with a hopeful gaze, "fine, you can touch my horns. But be gentle, okay?"
It's like the gods have responded to your wishes when he graces you with the opportunity to touch his new features that you've been itching to feel for some time now.
"I'll sit here," you point at his lap, but you don't wait for his answer before you're already slotted comfortably on his lap.
"You're shameless, aren't you?"
"Only for you." You murmur, pressing a kiss to his cheek before taking both of your hands, wrapping them gently around his horns to feel it.
So smooth, you note. yet cold to the touch. Your thumb brushing over the smooth base of it curiously which makes Dan Heng's breath hitch, he couldn't help but feel a shiver run down his spine as your palms gently caressed the smooth, pebbled texture. He swallowed, trying to maintain his composure even as his skin tingled.
"Careful." he murmured, his voice a bit unsteady. "I am careful," A soft huff escaped his lips, his hands finding their place on your waist.
He looked up at you, silently hoping you would exercise some restraint as you continued your exploration.
"They feel really smooth, i like it." You giggle, your palms now firmly wrapping around them yet still careful not to hurt him. You try moving your hands from the base of his horns to the tip, almost like stroking them gently.
The first stroke almost felt nothing to him but shivers running down his spine that he quickly surpassed. But by the second and third stroke, he involuntary let out a soft moan with his fingers gripping your waist.
You both freeze. You from the shock of the noise he just made, and him from the embarrassment that he couldn't even control.
"Dan Heng—"
"okay that's enough." He quickly cuts you off, trying to carry you out of his lap but you stay still.
"don't be shyyyy." You coo teasingly at him, your hands now cupping his face together. "Please don't tease me." He tried muttering when you press his face together. "I won't. I promise, can i? Pretty please?" He knows what you're asking for, to touch him again, to tease him again. How did he even get here in the first place?
But Dan Heng's thoughts muddled as you captured his lips in a deep, messy kiss, and he couldn't help but let out a gasp. The combined stimulation of your touch on his horns and the feeling of your tongue against his sent shivers down his spine, his hands clenching on your waist even harder that he's afraid he might bruise your precious skin.
He groaned into the kiss, his chest heaving with the intensity of the sensations. He pulled you closer, his body automatically seeking more contact.
"Needy," you continue to tease him, his poor face and ears already so flushed, already gasping like he's out of air. And the hand that was sneaking to his tail only worsened the situation on his part.
His lips parted as he felt your fingers grip his tail, the firm appendage writhing gently in your grasp. The sensation of your touch sent a shudder down his spine, and he had to suppress a gasp of pleasure.
The texture of his tail was smooth, yet firmer than you had expected, the scales rippling under your touch. You're surprised when his tail wraps around your waist, his head falling back, baring his throat while he continued panting softly.
He seemed even more desperate than you were, his fingers clawing at your thighs as if asking for more.
"Deng Heng, sweetheart," the petname plus the feeling of your lips on his throat almost makes his eyes roll back.
"no, don't—" A low growl rumbled in his throat as you began grinding against him, the friction sparking a deeper wave of heat and desire. The moan that escaped your lips only heightened his own hunger, his hips automatically pushing up to meet yours.
He's panting even faster now, his hand grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you into another messy kiss, your hands continuing to stimulate his horns by giving them long languid strokes, your hips meeting at a set and desperate pace, his tail tightening even more around your waist which elicits a whimper out of your throat.
The noise that leaves his lips against yours makes your face heat up, both of you slowing down, your half-lidded eyes clearing up to look down at his lap where you find an obvious wet spot.
"Did you just—"
"not a word." He mutters in complete embarrassment this time, hiding his face against your chest and you only chuckle while trying to comfort him.
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lovelettersfromluna · 6 months ago
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Dream Girl
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Summary: Did you seriously think you’d be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.
an: I’m so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, there’s just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support 🤍
Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellie’s fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.
With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that you’d spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didn’t exist.
Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.
Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.
It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.
It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.
Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.
It was all just too fucking hard.
But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.
You weren’t even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.
Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.
You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadn’t touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that you’d see any messages or calls from the worried girl.
So you aren’t surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didn’t pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.
You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.
Hi
I’m sorry I haven’t responded.
Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk
You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesn’t take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, she’s read it and already typing out her message back.
Hey, don’t apologize. I was just worried about you
Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?
You don’t even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.
That sounds great.
I’ll meet you there
Cool :)
Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when you’re finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you aren’t even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.
But there was no use in putting it off any further, so you’re quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.
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It’s almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.
Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.
You hadn’t even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.
Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.
But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.
It was almost like magic.
You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.
Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. You’re surprised to see that there’s now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.
Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.
You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.
“Here, lemme help you” Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.
She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.
“Come on now, would hate to make you drop those” she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.
“Fuck…sorry…I��um…” you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.
“No worries, you alright?” She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.
God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.
You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.
“I bought this for you…I figured you hadn’t eaten yet so…” you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.
Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.
She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.
“So sweet of you…c’mon, there’s some places to sit right up this way” she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.
Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. It’s truly something out of a dream….
It made you wish this was all a dream.
You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.
You couldn’t even look at her, and she hated that.
She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.
“I hope you didn’t bring me out here to apologize…because you don’t have to” her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldn’t be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.
You don’t respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.
“I get that things are probably hard…and I shouldn’t even have kissed you that night…so I’m sorry” she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.
“Don’t…don’t apologize” you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.
“I caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked with” you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.
“I probably should have seen it coming….but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored it” you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, who’s already staring intently as she listens to you.
“Ellie I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that I’m using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between us….but I just need you to know that I’m hurting, and it’s just….hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happened” your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.
But you don’t let them flow free. You don’t want to cry anymore, not over this.
“I…I just need time….” You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is you’re going through, what it is you’re experiencing.
It scares you when she doesn’t answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. It’s a lot, and you know that, but there’s a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.
She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. “You don’t even have to ask….you know I’d understand no matter what”
You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you don’t deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what you’re giving her.
You two haven’t even addressed what actually happened that night.
There’s nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. It’s weak, and it isn’t much, but it’s all you can mange right now.
Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. “As good of a baker that Mary Beth is….i think we need some real food” Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat” she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.
She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.
You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasn’t her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.
She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.
“As friends” she affirms gently.
She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesn’t want to read too much into, something that she knows she can’t dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.
A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. “Yeah…as friends” you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellie’s warmth as she guides you to the diner.
Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.
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Your mind was in absolute shambles.
It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didn’t want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.
That was until you got home.
The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellie’s hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.
You couldn’t sleep a wink.
It felt as though you hadn’t even talked to her, as if things hadn’t glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.
None of that ever came.
Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.
But you knew you couldn’t turn to her for a distraction, you couldn’t use her to occupy your mind from facing things that you’d much rather ignore. That wasn’t fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.
You couldn’t do that to Ellie.
You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.
The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment you’re stepping out of the car.
The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.
And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.
Ellie.
You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.
Regardless of the fact that it didn’t belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised you’d be together forever, for as long as you both lived.
The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.
You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.
Once you’re stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.
You’re convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment you’re diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.
Your mother always told you she thought she’d given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.
It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. It’s almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you weren’t alone, letting you know they were there with you.
You don’t even realize it but you’ve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth you’d brought from home.
The book you’ve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes you’d find the perfect husband.
What would they think of your divorce?
It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.
The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.
“I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you here! What a surprise!” Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.
You hadn’t seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that she’d even remembered your name.
You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.
“Good to see you Lilac….going for a swim?” You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.
“Mhm! It’s too hot…bless Ellie’s heart for sharin’ this place with me. Don’t know what I’d do without it” she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.
You know she doesn’t mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since that’s just the kind of girl Ellie was.
But there’s just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.
Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.
Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. “It’s pretty great out here…I’m surprised it isn’t so packed. Seems we got lucky” you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.
She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.
“You read those too? I love them! I just finished the first two” she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.
“Really? Most people think they’re super corny” you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.
“Honey I’m a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to people” she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.
Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.
“You’re a hopeless romantic? But…Lilac you’re gorgeous. I wouldn’t be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with you” you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.
“Don’t you dare! I’m awful at talking to people” she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.
“If I’m being honest…it’s not the guys here that I want…” her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.
You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but she’s quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. “But let’s not get into that! M’glad you’re here to join me today” she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.
And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.
You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it, Lilac” you hum out softly.
If there was anything you didn’t expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.
Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.
The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.
“Stop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to him” you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.
“He’s still an idiot, some people never change I fear” she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.
“Ellie was right about you, you know? You really are somethin’ special” she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadn’t thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.
It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.
You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. “Shut up….you’ll blow my head up” you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.
“Ahh I should get going…we shouldn’t be on the roads too late” you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.
You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey? You okay?” You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.
She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. “I know we don’t know each other well…but…I feel like you’ll be my only help with this” she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. “Of course you can..” you mumble out softly.
She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. “I…think I like Ellie” she breaths out, as if she’d been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.
Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.
You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly you’re shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellie’s hand on her waist, hers on Ellie’s arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you could’ve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.
When you don’t speak, she continues.
“And I just…you and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do you…think she’d like me back?” She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.
You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it might’ve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.
And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that you’re doing. She’s a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and she’s unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.
Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.
The both of them owe you nothing.
You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. “I think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, Lilac….you should go for it” you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that! You’re an angel” she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.
You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.
You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. “You didn’t need me…you’ll be great on your own” you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.
She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. “Right…get home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this week” she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.
And suddenly you’re left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you won’t be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.
But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.
Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.
While it all hurts, you know that there’s no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldn’t happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.
But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.
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There’s something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.
You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.
However as you’ve grown older, there’s something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that you’ve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.
That, and the fact that these days you’ll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.
Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joel’s house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. You’d picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.
So although your mind drifted to places you didn’t often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.
Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress they’d been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didn’t mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.
It wasn’t long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.
Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.
You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.
The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.
“Ellie…didn’t think you were coming over” you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.
“Was in the neighborhood….I thought I’d stop by” she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.
Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why she’s here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.
“You…haven’t been around lately” she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.
It was just as you suspected.
You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. It’s so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever you’re not looking into her eyes.
“Oh…I’ve just been uh…dealing with some stuff” you’re quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. “I’m fine…honest” you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.
You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that she’s frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something that’s bothering her.
You hope she’ll leave after you tell her you’re fine.
But she doesn’t. You don’t hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.
You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.
So you need to get rid of her.
You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.
It looks like she hasn’t slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.
But you can’t. Because things aren’t the same anymore.
You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. “Well…I have lots to do inside…more house work…dinner” you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.
“Did I do something wrong?” She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that she’d rather not say.
It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.
“Wrong? Ellie…I’ve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?” You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.
Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.
“Why would you tell Lilac that there’s something worth looking for between her and I…why would you…” her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.
And soon it all starts making sense.
You wish Lilac wouldn’t have said anything. You wish she wouldn’t have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.
But for the love of god…did she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?
You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. “I….she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked you…and she asked me if I thought she should pursue you” you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.
“And you told her that was a good idea?” She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.
“Yeah? Why not? Lilac is…she’s fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as her” you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.
But Ellie isn’t finished with you, because she’s quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.
“Ellie come on…I have things to do…you need to go” you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.
“You know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like you’re playing some sick joke on me” she’s standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.
“Is pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until I’ve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think it’ll take to get rid of me?” She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.
But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.
“I never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be happy with someone else” you explain to her before you finally feel as though you’ve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.
Before you’re fully there, Ellie’s voice is echoing off the walls.
“But I can’t be happy with someone else!” She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.
You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.
“How could I possibly be happy with anyone else when you’re all I fucking think about….” Her voice is tired, and it’s almost as if she’s begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.
Begging for you.
“From moment we had our first kiss….to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the city…I’ve only ever wanted you” you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.
“It’s pathetic, and I’ve tried to suck it up for your sake because I know….you’re going through a tough time after that moron did what she did….but I can’t fucking hide anymore” she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.
Your back is still turned to her, and you know she’s right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that you’ve done, all that you’ve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.
But you feel all of it break the moment Ellie’s strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.
“Look at me….please angel…” she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.
When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.
Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. “I can’t…I don’t wanna pretend like I’m not still in love-“ you’re quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.
“Don’t…don’t say it” you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.
You don’t think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someone’s lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellie’s, flashbacks of you’re wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.
It’s scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.
Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, you’re cutting her off.
“I told you already Ellie…I’m not….i can’t do this again. I can’t give myself to someone like I did with her” your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.
She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. “I get it….I get that you’re hurting from what happened, but I can’t keep going on without you knowing anymore….” She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.
“I’ve….god I’ve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And I’m sorry for what happened, and I understand if I’m just a childhood fling for you, but I’d rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what I’ve felt all these years” she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.
You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you haven’t felt the same way? But now it’s different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when it’s Ellie?
Your Ellie?
She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.
And if they can’t? She needs to hear you say it out loud.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same” she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.
“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promise” she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.
There’s images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something you’ll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that it’s supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.
And then there’s something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you don’t even notice it.
It’s memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. It’s soft, and it’s easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.
As you’re looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.
You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesn’t hurt as bad, long as you’re focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.
Because when you’re with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.
You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.
“I can’t do that….” Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.
You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
“Because I….feel the same way” you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.
“Jesus…c’mere” she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.
You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.
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You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.
One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someone’s house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.
You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.
“Don’t you think we have enough drinks baby?” Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.
“It’s almost 100 degrees outside, Ellie…I don’t think too many things to drink is even a possibility” you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I bought” you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.
“It’s too hotttt….wanna be inside with you” she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.
You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. “I know baby….but your father will be very upset if he doesn’t have at least one beer with you…come on pretty girl” you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.
“Fine…but come out with me” she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.
You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.
“Oh honey let me help you with that!” You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.
“There you are! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show…” you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.
She giggled softly as she groaned. “Did you know that this party of yours is causin’ traffic out there?? Everyone’s dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hair” she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.
After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like you’d robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that she’d get over it in no time, you were still scared that you’d lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.
You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.
And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.
You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.
Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.
“Lemonade anyone?” You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.
You don’t miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.
And later that night, when everyone’s left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.
You’re tucked away into Ellie’s side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.
“Did you have fun today?” You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.
“The best time baby….haven’t seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long time…you did good angel” she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.
But the warmth doesn’t just settle in your cheeks.
A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.
Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. “Something wrong princess?” She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.
When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you she’d take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.
At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.
But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didn’t even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.
So now…God…you needed her more than anything.
You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.
Her frown deepened when you didn’t answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. “Baby? What’s the matter?” She questions once again.
You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.
“I….need you Ellie…need you so bad” you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. “Need me? But angel I’m right-“ her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.
Her eyes widen in realization.
“Fuck…” she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.
“Are you sure baby? We can…fuck…we don’t have to…” she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.
You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left Ellie…of course I’m sure…” you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.
Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.
“That’s my girl…fuck….been needy huh?” She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.
You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.
The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed since your divorce. It’s nothing like kissing your ex wife, but it’s everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.
“Fuck…want you to…wanna feel your pussy on mine baby…can you do that for me?” She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.
Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.
Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.
You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.
Once she’s had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. She’s feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.
And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.
The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.
“F-fuck! Oh my….fuuuuckkkk…that’s it baby…fuck yourself down onto my pussy…oh my….ha-fuck” she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.
Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. It’s like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.
“Ellieee…fuck! Feels…feels so good..” you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.
Ellie can’t take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. “Come on baby…cum with me, yeah?” She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.
Your heart feels like it’ll just burst.
“I…mmm…fuck….Ellie I love you…I love you so much…” you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.
“That’s my fucking girl…I love you so much baby…more than you’ll ever know…” she moans out to you.
And suddenly, you see colors.
Your chest feels like you’ve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellie’s as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like it’ll kill you both right then and there.
The come down is hard, because it’s almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.
She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that she’ll give you everything you could ever want and need.
And while you’ve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shit….
You believe her, because this time? It’ll be different.
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selenoplexia · 2 years ago
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I just had the most godawful conversation with my mother. I don’t miss being here
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pearlessance · 4 months ago
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Three's A Crowd
Tommy Miller x f!reader x Joel Miller
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Summary: Tommy's new girlfriend is awfully sweet. When Joel finds out she's got a big appetite that only he can fill, he decides to satisfy the craving. Warnings: explicit sexual content MDNI, threesome, praise, seduction, age gap(20yrs), size difference, oral sex galore, unprotected sex, photos taken during intercourse, mention of sending nudes, throat bulge, usual smut antics NOTE: i'm not sure if this is actually any good considering it was writen in just a matter of days because i was inspired by the new promo, gabriel luna the man that you are 😵‍💫😵‍💫 !! MASTERLIST [crossposted to AO3]
 Joel Miller knows his brother like the back of his hand. 
Which is why it’s not surprising when Tommy lets him in on the details about his secret new girlfriend. Secret—because you’re the daughter of their most consistent client. 
At first, Joel tells him how stupid it is to risk the company like that. It’s irresponsible to put on the line their biggest cash cow just to fuck around with the only daughter of the man that funds Miller Contracting through the winter. And then there’s the fact that you don't exactly fit Tommy’s type.
A rich girl with an even richer daddy compared to all those wild girls from Tommy’s previous female fixations? It doesn’t line up. It makes no sense in Joel’s head. 
Even as his brother tries to explain, “I didn’t go after her. Not at first. She came onto me.”
Joel’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the other propped on the open window of his truck as they drive home from a particularly exhausting day. He furrows his brows and asks, “Don’t you think that’s a little suspicious? You sure she actually likes you and isn’t just tryin’ to get her daddy’s attention?”
Tommy snorts. “Even if she was, I wouldn't care. You ever met a girl that loves to suck cock before?”
“Jesus Christ—”
“An’ I mean love, Joel. Not like. Love.” There are stars in his eyes and he knows it’s a serious matter but Joel can’t help the laugh that escapes him.
He thinks it must be high praise coming from his brother who goes home with a different girl every other weekend. “That good, huh?”
“Better than good.” 
And he knows Tommy’s got a one-track mind, so there’s really no use fighting it. So he just says, “Be careful. Don’t go gettin’ caught 'cause the business will pay the price.”
Tommy agrees and Joel lets it go. Doesn’t think about it again, even when Tommy cancels their plans to go out that weekend in favor of your company.
Well, not until he’s standing in your kitchen going over blueprints with your father, that is. 
Joel tries not to glance out of the floor-length windows in the kitchen to the backyard. He tries not to look at the movement in the pool that repeatedly catches his eye. And he tries, really fucking hard, not to allow his attention to linger on the way that white bikini rests so snugly against your chest, or the way your wet hair cascades down your back and sticks to your smooth skin, or the way his cock twitches in his jeans when the impressive swell your ass shakes as you pull yourself up and out of the pool.
He understands his brother a little better when he sees you, Joel thinks. Understands why he’s willing to risk such a high-profit opportunity for the chance to see you underneath him. 
Your father leaves the kitchen to find an old set of blueprints to compare to the new ones, and Joel begins to panic as he realizes this is the moment you decide you’re done swimming. 
When you open the door to the kitchen the hinges creak. Joel takes note of it. 
Water drips onto the white tile floor, the same quick rhythm as the thumping of his heart against his sternum. You cross the kitchen and open the fridge door without even looking at him. 
But Joel certainly looks at you. Can’t help but to, really. You’re like some decadent display as you break the seal of an icy bottle of water and begin to take long, slow drinks from it. Your lips are plush and swollen and Tommy’s words reverberate in the back of Joel’s head. 
You ever met a girl that loves to suck cock before?
“Thirsty?”
He nearly chokes. Joel knows you’re likely just being hospitable. Kind, even. But he feels like he shouldn’t be speaking to you, not when you’re close to naked and dripping wet. And if not because of your father upstairs, then certainly because of his brother’s affinity for you. So, despite the way his tongue feels like sandpaper in his mouth, he says, “No, thanks.”
Joel turns his eyes back to his blueprints, folding the corner once, twice, trying to focus on anything but the weight of your stare.
If you notice his unease you ignore it as you slide up to the counter beside him and peer down at the layout of your father’s newest home renovation. You’re so close he can feel the heat of your skin, can smell the chlorine in your hair. “Hm,” you say. “This is for the guest room?”
“Bedroom D,” he corrects.
A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. You turn away from the blueprints, spine resting against the marble countertop in favor of studying him instead. “You’re Joel, right? Tommy’s older brother?”
There’s no sense in lying, Joel thinks. Though he does consider it for a moment. “Uh…yeah,” he says. And then he clears his throat and nods, repeating a little more firmly, “Yeah.”
Your stare is so hot against his skin, eyes unabashedly roaming down the column of his neck. He shivers as your attention lingers on the small sliver of his chest that’s revealed thanks to his decision this morning to leave one of the buttons on his flannel unsecured. You’re standing so close to him now that a drop of chlorinated water falls from the ends of your hair and onto his arm.
Joel feels the cool liquid slide down his too warm-skin, melting as if it were ice, heating to the temperature of his blood that sings in his veins beneath your scrutinization.
He watches your tongue slide over your pretty bottom lip and his breath catches in his lungs. “Hm,” you say again, the sound a little fonder this time. “I see where he gets his good looks from.”
It’s been a long time since someone flirted with him so openly. Even longer since someone your age even took a second glance at him. And even though he knows, by the rule of his own morality, that you belong to his little brother…Joel can’t deny the giddy feeling it elicits in his chest. Can’t deny that he likes your attention, either.
“Found them,” your father suddenly says, bounding down the stairs with folded blueprints in his hand. 
Joel clears his throat and you take a small step away from him, but otherwise seem unphased by the intrusion. He tries to ignore the lingering buzzing beneath his skin, tries to shake off what remains of the electrified energy you’d created.
You greet your dad with a kiss on the cheek and tell him you’re going out tonight. Your father asks with who, and you glance past him, staring only at Joel as you say simply, “Just a friend.”
And he knows you’ll likely be at his little brother’s apartment within the hour. Thinks about preparing himself for yet another of Tommy’s cancellations of guy’s night but this time there’s no frustration on Joel’s part. 
Because he doesn’t blame his brother at all. If anything, he understands a little better now. Understands why getting drunk with Joel at a bar is a far less tempting activity than spreading those pretty thighs of yours. Understands why he’d rather stay home than go out, especially if you’re there in his bedroom on your knees for him. 
His assumption is confirmed later that night when he gets a text message.
Tommy: Have to cancel again. Sorry, something came up.
Joel knows exactly what ‘came up’ and decides to put on an old western movie to distract himself instead.
But when he lays in bed that night, the image of you in your bikini surfaces in his brain and makes a home there. He tries for an hour to get himself to relax enough to shut it out, to just go to sleep.
Eventually, though, he realizes there’s no fucking point in trying. And even though you’re in his brother’s bed and your father’s blueprints are sitting on the kitchen table downstairs, Joel Miller takes his cock in his hand and has the best orgasm of his life. He thinks about your smooth skin and supple curves, thinks about the way that single droplet of water felt against his skin, thinks about your pink tongue and the way you looked at him with such insatiable hunger.
It’s a secret Joel decides he’ll take to his grave.
He tries not to think of you after that. Tries to keep his distance from you, from your house in general. Joel’s not a man who enjoys technology but opts for emailing your father instead of meeting with him to avoid another post-pool incident.
Tommy finally makes it to guy’s night two weeks later but he’s glued to his fucking cell phone. Joel tries to make conversation, tells him about upcoming projects and opportunities for contracts, and mentions that this summer has been their most profitable yet. But Tommy only nods every so often. Giving Joel a stupid, uninterested, “Yeah, for sure,” or “That’s great, Joel,” or “I don’t know, maybe.”
There’s no salt to his words, no meaning other than oblivious agreement. And it starts to anger Joel because Tommy’s been distracted by girls before but never like this. Never so much so that he can’t sit and have half a conversation with his brother. Eventually, he lets out an annoyed sigh and says, “If you’ve got somewhere better to be you can just fuckin’ go, Tommy. Jesus Christ.”
The irritation seems to finally get his attention. Tommy locks his cell phone and says, “She’s sending me pictures, distractin’ me, I’m sorry,” but there’s a stupid ass grin on his face and Joel can feel the insincerity radiating off his brother.
Joel rolls his eyes and waves down the bartender for the check. 
“No, no, okay,” Tommy insists, setting his phone face down on the bar top. He shoos the bartender away and says, “Okay, seriously, you’re right. I’m sorry.” It’s a little more genuine this time, and so Joel decides to meet his brother halfway.
“You really like her? S’that what this is?”
That smile returns to Tommy’s face, eyes glossing over in a mystifying way. He must, because Joel’s never seen him like this before. “We’re not even together,” he says.
Joel’s brows furrow. “What are you talking about? You spend every weekend with her, you might as well be.”
“Believe me, Joel, I’ve tried, man. She’s…I don’t know how to explain it. She doesn’t want anything serious. Doesn’t wanna be exclusive or nothin’ but isn’t fuckin’ around with anyone but me. I just…” he shakes his head and his eyes widen and Joel can see the awe in them. 
“So she’s acting like you,” Joel supplies.
It makes Tommy laugh. But the more he explains, the more Joel starts to believe it. “She’s so sweet but that girl is insatiable. Just wants to fuck and have a good time and that’s it. Doesn’t care about much else.”
“I’m not sayin’ you shouldn’t have fun, Tommy, but don’t let her consume your whole life. Get some space every once in a while,” Joel says. But he understands the infatuation, understands exactly how enticing your company would be. 
He leans in close, one hand wrapped around his whiskey glass and the other tapping the back of his phone. “Those pictures…she’s taking pictures in the shower, Joel. For me. An’ you wanna know what she just told me the other day?”
Joel knows what’s coming next. Knows Tommy’s about to clue him in on something Joel has no business knowing, but he can’t fight off his curiosity. “What?”
“Said her biggest fantasy is a threesome with two guys. Told me, and I quote, that she wants to get fucked while she’s got my dick in her mouth.” He makes a sound of disbelief but there’s this grin on his face that lets Joel know Tommy’s biggest fantasy is to be with a filthy girl like you.
Joel just shakes his head.
But the image his brother paints lingers in his brain for days.
In fact, he’s still thinking about it during his next meeting with your father. Thinking about the fact that you’re up in your room, fantasizing about getting fucked by two guys at once when your dad suddenly says, “I’ll be out of town for a couple of weeks, I hope you don’t mind I gave my little girl your phone number. Just in case anything goes wrong. It won’t, but I hate being so far away while she’s here alone. I’m sure you understand, being a father and all.”
He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how to respond, unsure how to explain how terrible an idea that is, so he says nothing. Just nods stiffly and begins discussing the renovations for the ensuite of bedroom C. 
Less than a week later, Joel gets a phone call from an unknown number, and his gut sinks because he knows it’s you. He debates on ignoring the call but then begins to worry that something’s actually wrong and puts himself in your father’s position. Thinks he’d be furious, had it been Sarah, if she’d called someone for help and they’d ignored her. 
So, he presses his cell phone to his ear and says, “Hello?”
“Joel? Hi, sorry, I know it’s kinda late. Do you think you could come over really quick? I need your help.”
“Help? With what?” It doesn’t really matter, he thinks. Because he’s already lacing up his boots, phone held to his ear with his shoulder.
“I locked myself out,” you explain. “My dad’s out of town for work and I didn’t grab my key before he left. You have a spare, don’t you? For the renovations and stuff?”
Joel can’t help but wonder where you’ve been for the last few days. Someplace you wouldn’t have needed to come home, it seems. “Uh, yeah, I do,” he says. “I’ll be there in a minute. Hang tight.”
He finds you standing on your front porch with a backpack slung over your shoulder, your phone charger in your hand, and a look of relief on your face. “Thank you so much,” you immediately say. “I swear I never forget my key but I was distracted this time.”
Joel unlocks the front door for you and lets you inside. He lingers on the threshold, saying, “No, it’s fine. No worries at all.”
“Come inside,” you insist, and he can feel the bad decision from a fucking mile away.
“Really, it’s fine. I’ll just—”
“Please,” you interrupt. “Are you thirsty? Hungry? Let me make you something to eat before you go. It’s the least I could do.”
He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t. But he does.
Joel nods, unable to resist you and how pretty the word please sounds in your mouth. He follows you into the kitchen, lingering at the island counter as you drop your bag onto the floor next to the stairs and immediately plug your cell phone into the extra outlet he’d placed into the backsplash per your father’s request during last winter’s renovation. You look over your shoulder at him as you open the refrigerator and ask, “You like grilled cheese?”
“Uh, yeah. I do.” He sits in comfortable silence for a moment, watching the way you move as you prepare the bread and heat up a cast iron pan. Eventually, he finds the courage to ask, “You…uh…were you at Tommy’s?”
He watches as your cheeks redden the smallest bit. But there’s no shame in your voice as you answer simply, “Yes, I was.”
“Figured you’d tire each other out eventually,” he teases.
You laugh softly, and the buttered bread sizzles as you place it into the pan. As you lay the slices of cheese on top of it you explain, “Wasn’t like that. I’m home for the weekend so Tommy can talk to you, actually.”
It surprises him to hear it, in truth. “Me? What for?”
You flush an even deeper crimson. “Uhm…I think it’s better that you hear it from him,” you say.
Joel’s mind wanders to a million places as you dig out a spatula and flip the grilled cheese. But then a terrifying thought strikes him and Joel suddenly asks, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“Ew, no,” you say with a laugh. “Believe me, Joel, I like creampies just as much as the next girl but I’m not irresponsible about it.”
This time, it’s his face that warms. Joel swallows hard and sits on the barstool at the island, trying not to think about your inadvertent admission, trying not to imagine it, to imagine how fucking good it would feel to—
“Here,” you say, placing a glass plate in front of him with a perfectly crispy grilled cheese cut diagonally. He’s thankful for the distraction, thankful to convince himself the watering of his mouth is from the food in front of him and not the thought of how you would taste on his tongue.
“Thanks,” he says simply, trying to massage some of the tension from his shoulders. It had been a long day on the job site and he’ll admit to himself only that a grilled cheese and the sight of a pretty girl certainly feels like a treat.
You seem to notice his discomfort and ask, “You okay?”
He nods and takes a bite of his sandwich. It’s the most delicious thing he’s ever had and he tries to hold back his moan to no avail. When he looks over at you, you’re wearing a satisfied grin that only widens when he says around another mouthful, “This is incredible.”
As if it’s the most natural thing in the world, you step up behind him and place your hands on his shoulders. Joel opens his mouth to stop you, to tell you this is wrong, inappropriate—but then you kneed your fingers into the tender muscle, and his eyes flutter closed. 
All argument leaves him as quickly as it appeared, and all he can manage to say is, “Jesus Christ.”
Your quiet giggle is the cutest thing he’s ever heard. And Joel knows he should be thinking of his brother right now, knows he should be thinking of your father, thinking about the fact that you’re just a young woman, twenty years separating the two of you…but all he can focus on is the way your hands feel on him.
They’re warm and soft but clinical in their pursuit, thumbs pressing hard into the muscle that brackets his spine. Your delicate fingers feel like heaven, bringing relief he never realized just how badly he needed.
You slowly massage down his back, pushing against the knots, working them free. When you get to his lower back, he groans when you slip your hands beneath his navy t-shirt. You’re touching him with no barrier and it steals the breath from his lungs.
Never in his life has he wanted to be touched by someone so badly. Never in his life has he enjoyed the feel of another person’s skin against his so much. Your thumbs dig into the sore muscles, working the tension out.
You lean in so close that he can feel the heat of your breath against the shell of his ear as you say, “Will you take your shirt off?”
He’s thankful you’re standing behind him, however. Because it means you can’t see the way his cock stiffens in his jeans.
The words are tempting and seductive and wrong, he knows. He looks back at you and the heat in your eyes takes him off guard. The angle has his mouth so close to yours you’re sharing the same breath.
It’s then he knows just how badly you want him. As much as he wants you.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you say. While you speak, your fingertips trace soft patterns into the skin of his lower back.
Joel knows it’s a bad idea, but he does it anyway.
You step away from him only long enough for Joel to grip his t-shirt at the back of his collar and pull it over his head, laying it on the marble countertop.
And then you go back to your ministrations as if nothing changed; massaging the tension from his muscles, starting low and working your way back up to his shoulders this time. But it is different, Joel knows. Because he can feel the heat of your skin against his and his heart rate picks up, a different kind of tension filling him instead.
But it feels so fucking good that he doesn’t ever want you to stop.
So, he eats what remains of his grilled cheese. Lets you work the tightness from his bones, trying not to hiss in pain when you touch a particularly tender spot in the center of his back. You lighten the pressure there and begin building back up to it slowly, bringing him to heights of euphoria he’d never known existed.
When he wipes the crumbs from his hands and pushes his now empty plate away, Joel knows he should stop you. But he doesn’t, because he can no longer find a reason good enough to say the words. He lets you dote on him in a way he doesn’t deserve and soaks it up while it lasts.
And when you press a sweet, chaste kiss to the top of his spine, Joel feels the energy shift but doesn’t say anything then, either.
Because he likes the way your lips feel against his skin. Even more so than your soft hands.
You do it again, a little higher this time. You kiss the back of his neck and he shivers. He realizes you can see the goosebumps that break out across his skin, because he can feel the smile on your lips as you press another wet, open-mouthed kiss to the junction of his shoulder.
Joel’s cock has never been this hard, he thinks. He’s never wanted someone so badly, has never been so incapable of making the right decision as he is at this very moment.
His breath comes fast and labored as you press yourself to him. You’re not wearing a bra beneath your oversized t-shirt, and he can feel your pebbled nipples against his back. Your hands move forward, circling his abdomen, sliding up and over his chest. He knows he should stop you now, knows this is the beginning of something he can never come back from.
But the two of you are all alone in this big empty house, and how can he deny you? He doesn’t have the strength. Not then you slide pretty, delicate fingers over his soft stomach, through the dark curls that disappear into his jeans.
Your hand is slow in its pursuit but still adamant as you palm the bulge in his jeans. Even through the thick denim, the feel of your hands on him makes him shake. He cock throbs with each gentle stroke, each small movement. “You can tell me to stop,” you tell him. “Is this okay?”
He can’t bring himself to say anything, but the moan that escapes him is answer enough. He places his hands on the edge of the counter and straightens his spine, getting a full view as you undo the button of his jeans and lower the metal zipper at an agonizingly slow pace.
And then you’re slipping a hand inside his jeans, below the elastic band of his boxers, and all thoughts eddy out of his head. He can think of nothing, nothing as you begin to stroke him. Your hands are small, barely fitting around his cock, but you make do with what you have and it’s more than enough.
You pull him out of his jeans completely, and it’s a sight to behold, seeing his cock in your pretty hands. He tries to catch his breath as you pull one of your hands away for a single moment. And when it returns, your fingers are sticky with webs of spit.
This time, when you wrap your hand around his cock, you’re able to stoke him a little easier, the added lubrication allowing for freer movement. You move slowly at first, hands grazing from base to tip.
He watches with reverence as you familiarize yourself with him. When a bead of precum forms at the tip of his cock, you use your thumb to add it to the sticky wetness already in your hands. Joel can feel the smile on your face as you continue to press desperate kisses to his spine, and he knows he won’t last long like this.
Watching you stroke him with both of your small hands, watching you take care of him like this…it’s too much. It’s too fucking much.
So he closes his eyes. Lets himself sink into the moment with you instead, listens to your pretty whimpers as you press your tits against him. He wants to reach around and slide his hand between your thighs but knows better, knows that this is already bad enough.
You tighten your hands around his cock, squeezing a little harder, and he feels his end begin to build at the base of his spine. “Fuck.”
“Does it feel good?”
He tries to breathe slowly, tries to draw it out. But you pick up your pace, stroking him a little faster, and Joel can’t stop the groan that escapes him.
“You make me so wet, Joel,” you whisper against his skin. “I think about you and touch myself sometimes, thinking about how fucking big you are, how good it would feel to have you touch me…how good you’d feel inside of me.”
Your filthy words bring him to the brink. Joel fights it, doesn’t want to finish so fast he embarrasses himself. He wants to see the look on your face, wants to fuck you right here on this kitchen counter that he built.
Joel clenches his fists instead. Stays stone still because he knows if he moves an inch he’ll be giving into these desires. Knows a single shift in position would have him pulling your shorts down your thighs and licking your pussy until he makes you cry out for God. 
But it’s not his place.
It’s not his fucking place, and you’re not his fucking girl.
So he doesn’t move.
You do, though.
Joel tries to catch his breath as you pull away from him, the absence of your touch leaving him cold and wanting. But then you’re nudging your way in front of him, in the small space between his knees and the island, and then you’re lowering yourself to the marble floor.
You ever met a girl that loves to suck cock before?
Slowly, you run your hands over his jean-clad thighs. You look up at him through your lashes and he feels a little like he’s being worshipped.
And when you lean forward, pretty, soft tongue licking the underside of his cock, Joel can’t keep his hands to himself. His resolve withers, and he threads his fingers through your hair but is careful not to rush you.
He lets you take your time, lets you swirl your tongue over the head, lets you taste every inch of him to your heart’s content. And when you finally take him into your mouth, cheeks hallowed out, creating a tight seal around him, Joel’s head falls back in bliss.
You savor it, relish in it, swallowing him down inch by inch. He hits the back of your throat and still you keep going, choking on him, nose pressed against the hair below his navel. With each pass, you begin to bob your head, tongue smoothing over the sensitive tip. You set an insatiable rhythm, drool sliding down your chin.
It doesn’t take him long. His hands tighten in the hair at the nape of your neck and he breaths out, “Fuck, fuck, sweetheart, I’m gonna-”
Your watery eyes meet his and the adoration in them sends him over the edge. Joel finishes at the back of your mouth, your fingernails digging into the meaty flesh of his thighs almost painfully, but you take everything he gives you and swallow it down.
It’s the sexiest thing he’s seen in all his life.
When he finishes, Joel strokes your hair affectionately and you smile up at him with his cock still in your mouth. It makes him laugh, and he realizes how soft and sweet this moment feels. How easy it is. How he never wants it to end.
Slowly, you sit back and begin to stand to your feet. Your lips are swollen and red and glossy, even when you wipe the spit off your chin with the back of your hand.
You cross the kitchen, grab your phone, and make your way to the staircase. “Thanks again, Joel. Can you lock up on your way out?”
He doesn’t understand how you can feel so casually about this. Doesn’t understand how you’re likely texting his brother as if Joel’s cock wasn’t just in your mouth, as if the taste of his release doesn’t linger on your tongue. 
The guilt doesn’t set in until he’s in bed that night. He can’t sleep, because he knows he has to say something to Tommy but knows, too, he’ll likely pay the price of a right hook in reparation. 
At three in the morning he sends a text to his brother; Come over in the morning. Need to talk. Important. 
Joel doesn’t sleep. He lays in bed and thinks of you, as he so often does these days. Thinks about how uncomfortable it’s going to be to tell his little brother that he indulged himself in the pretty little thing he’s been spending all of his time with. He decides he’s just going to say it outright, tell him the truth without beating around the bush, and immediately apologize for it afterward.
Because he is sorry, Joel thinks. Not sorry that he did it, but sorry that it’s hurt people in the process.
How can he come to regret the most gratifying sexual experience of his life? It’s a comfort, to hear some of Tommy’s words echo in his brain. 
We’re not even together.
She doesn’t want anything serious.
It’s like she just wants to fuck and have a good time and that’s it.
Joel hopes his brother feels a similar way. Tommy’s never once indicated he’s ever wanted to settle down with a woman, but…something sits in his gut and twists up his insides. Because as much as he wants to deny it, Joel knows this…knows you are different. What Tommy feels for you is different.
He’s drinking whiskey by ten in the morning for no reason other than to calm his nerves.
And Joel’s thankful for the liquid courage when Tommy finally pulls into the driveway at noon. He comes barrelling through Joel’s front door with a scowl on his face, and for a second Joel wonders if his brother already knows and is here thinking Joel had every intention of keeping this secret of yours.
But when he speaks, Tommy doesn’t seem angry. Just…concerned. “What’s up, man? Pretty ominous text to wake up to. Where’s Sarah? She alright?”
Joel shakes his head and raises a hand between them. “Sarah’s fine, she’s alright,” he says quickly. “Staying with a friend this weekend. Sorry, I guess I should have mentioned it wasn’t a life or death situation.” 
For Tommy, anyway.
With a slow nod, Tommy’s shoulders slump and he drops himself onto the couch. “Alright, then. That’s good. I was worried, came haulin’ ass over here.” It’s then he notices the tumbler in Joel’s hand, half filled with amber-colored liquid. “You good, Joel?”
He takes a seat next to his brother and tries to recite the speech in his head. But nothing comes out. Joel opens and closes his mouth once, twice, and then finishes off the whiskey in his glass.
Tommy’s patient, for what it’s worth. He lets Joel adjust in his seat three different times, saying nothing while he tries to find the courage he’s been building for the last twelve hours.
“I…I, uhm…I have to tell you something an’ I…” Joel shakes his head and squeezes his jaw. “Alright, look. I…did something.”
A quiet, curt sort of laugh leaves Tommy. “I know what happened last night, Joel. She already told me.”
It surprises him. Not that you told him, Joel can’t fault you for that considering he’s presently trying to do the same thing. What’s surprising is that Tommy seems relaxed about the whole situation. Relieved, even.
A million different questions surface on the tip of his tongue, but only one comes out. “What?”
“It’s alright, man,” Tommy says, laying a comforting hand on Joel’s shoulder.
“You’re not…mad? I don’t understand. I let her—”
Tommy’s mouth stretches into one of the widest smiles Joel’s ever seen on his brother’s face. “It was good, huh?”
Joel doesn’t know if saying yes is a good idea. Doesn’t know if a simple three-letter word is sufficient enough for the things you made him feel with that pretty, pink tongue of yours. 
But it seems his thoughts are written plainly on his face. “Fuck yeah, it was,” Tommy says with a laugh. “She called me right after you left her house last night. Told me everything. She makes a mean grilled cheese too, doesn’t she?”
Try as he might, Joel can’t seem to wrap his head around what’s happening. Can’t seem to process his brother’s ease, his indifference. He tries to put himself in Tommy’s place but knows that if it was his bed you slept in for the last week, Joel would be furious to learn you’d wound up on your knees for someone else.
But if that someone was Tommy? His own brother?
Maybe that’s why it’s different. Because Joel would never do something to hurt his brother intentionally. And he knows, too, that Tommy would never do it to him, either.
He trusts his brother with everything in him. There’s not another soul on the planet who knows him like Tommy does. So, surely, he knows that what you and Joel did wasn’t born of malicious intent, right?
“She’s a sweet little thing,” Tommy says quietly, as if they’re sharing a secret. “But that mouth on her is somethin’ else. She’s a talker, through and through.” There’s pride on his face as he speaks. “Said she felt real bad, runnin’ out on you like that, but she’d gotten so wet from just goin’ down on you that I could hear it through the fuckin’ phone, Joel.”
Though he tries not to, Joel begins to wonder what would have happened if you’d stayed, if you hadn’t disappeared so fast to take care of the ache that had settled between your thighs.
It would have been only fair, right? You helped him. He would have helped you.
“She wanted me to talk to you about something, anyway,” Tommy says.
He’d nearly forgotten that you’d mentioned the same thing last night in all the chaos. It piques his interest, because what on Earth could you need Tommy to ask him?
But his answer comes quickly when his brother says carefully, “You remember a couple of weeks ago when I told you what her biggest fantasy is?”
A threesome.
Joel’s standing from the couch and shaking his head before his brother gets another word out. “Have you lost your fuckin’ mind, Tommy?”
“Joel, just listen—”
“Listen to what, man? You got any idea what you’re askin’ me right now?”
There’s a smirk on his face as he stares at Joel from the couch, looking just as comfortable as if they were having a normal conversation about what they should eat for dinner. “I’m askin’ you to fuck my girlfriend,” he says.
Somehow, the word girlfriend surprises Joel more than the rest. It’s the very first time he’s ever called anyone his girlfriend. “I thought you weren’t together.”
Tommy shrugs. “Call it what you will. Does it really matter?”
“Yeah, Tommy, it does matter. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for this girl. Tell me this doesn’t mean anythin’ to you, that doing somethin’ like this wouldn’t fuck it all up in a minute.”
He shakes his head. “Can’t lie to you, brother. ‘Course she means somethin’ to me. That’s why I wanna give her everything she wants. And she wants you too, Joel. Is that so bad?”
Joel sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots.
For a second, a single second, he considers it. Thinks about how any price is worth it for a single night with you, to hear the sound of your moans, to feel your warm breath against his neck again. He’d bet you sound real pretty, all filled up with him.
“Don’t trust anyone else to take care of her the way I do,” Tommy says. “No one but you.”
It’s too much. It’s way too much to ask of him.
“You’re insane, Tommy,” he says, grabbing his whiskey glass from the coffee table and escaping to the kitchen to refill it. He wishes he had something a little stronger.
He’s not surprised when his brother follows him to the kitchen. Tommy leans against the archway and says, “You can say no.”
“Good, 'cause I’m sayin’ no.”
Tommy laughs, but Joel thinks there’s no joke to be found. “Just wanted you to know the offer’s there and she’d jump at the opportunity. Y’know, if you change your mind, that is. Ask her about it, if you wanna.”
“I won’t.”
He raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, not tryin’ to push it or anything. You know how to get ahold of me.”
And then his brother retreats, leaving Joel with nothing but his whiskey and his thoughts.
Thoughts that run rampant in his brain. Filthy images of you beneath him, back arched in pleasure, pretty mouth hung open just wide enough for Tommy to slip inside.
How terrible would it be, really? Tommy might have impulsive tendencies, but he seems so sure of this. And if there’s not an ounce of jealousy in his brother, so much so that he offers you to Joel like some sort of prize…maybe there won’t be the repercussions Joel’s afraid of.
Maybe it’ll be as Tommy says. Maybe it would just be a good, safe way to give you what you want, to indulge your wildest desires. 
And it would certainly be an indulgence for him. Just feeling your hands on him had brought Joel bliss like he’d never known. He can’t imagine how much higher he’d feel if he could taste you, if he could finish deep inside of you and not at the back of your throat.
It takes twenty minutes of pacing in his kitchen and another ten of shaking the nerves from his hands before he picks up the phone and calls you.
“Hey, Joel. I was just thinking about you.”
“S’that right?”
“Mmhm. Did…did Tommy talk to you yet? He told me he was going to this morning.” 
“Yeah, sweetheart. He did.”
A strange sort of silence stretches on. He can hear your hesitance and realizes you’re just as nervous as he is. “And? What did you…what did you say?”
He doesn’t have the heart to tell you he declined the offer. Not when it was a no mostly out of fear and unease. “You wanna tell me how this is gonna work?”
You snort and he can almost see the playful smirk on your face. “I think you know how it works, Joel.”
“That’s not what I mean,” he says, but can’t fight off the smile that climbs onto his face and makes a home there. “Brat.”
“Hm, I think I prefer the term princess.”
Joel laughs but thinks the name is real fitting. He can see why Tommy likes you so much—can understand why he wants to give you everything it is that you desire. Everything about you is so playful and carefree and innocent. You’re just so sweet. A tooth-rotting confectionary. 
“I don’t know how it’ll work,” you finally say. “I’ve never done something like this before, but I know it’s what I want.”
Your conviction is reassuring. Both you and Tommy seem certain that this is the path you want to take, no unease to be found within either of you. But it’s not the physical that worries him. It’s…everything else. “An’ what happens if it becomes something more? Sex is just sex until it isn’t.”
He can hear the smile in your words as you ask, “You worried about catching feelings for me, Joel Miller?”
“I’m bein’ serious,” he insists. “Tommy feels somethin’ for you. I know it and I think you probably do, too. I don’t want to do this and ruin what the two of you have been workin’ on.”
“You won’t ruin anything,” you insist. “And if…if things do get…complicated, then we’ll just take it day by day. No use in worrying about something that might not happen, right?”
It’s such a naive way of thinking. Joel wishes he wouldn’t have said no so quickly. Wishes, too, that you were a little different. Maybe if you weren’t so sweet, so tempting, he wouldn’t be so worried about ‘catching feelings,’ as you’d put it.
Your voice is quieter as you say, “For what it’s worth, Joel…I like you, too.”
By the end of the phone call, you manage to convince him to consider it. To genuinely give the idea a shot, to weigh all the pros and cons. You promise not to be disappointed with either decision and though he knows the whole thing has been your idea, Joel believes you.
Several days later, Joel stops by with the intent to fix the creaky hinges on the door to the pool. But the moment he steps into the kitchen, Joel forgets all about the task at hand because he can hear your moans echoing through the house.
He follows them like a moth to a flame.
The door to your father’s bedroom is wide open. And in the center of the king-sized bed, covered with gray satin sheets, is you and Tommy.
Tommy’s turned away from the door, but you’re looking right at it. Looking right at Joel, as you bounce in his brother’s lap. When your eyes connect with him, your pace only picks up, your moans only grow louder.
Joel watches, frozen in time, as you chase your release. Tommy swirls his tongue around your pebbled nipple, leaving a trail of wetness in its wake. You thread your fingers through his hair and moan his name but you stare right at Joel.
He can’t breathe. Has suddenly forgotten the process of inhalation. He’s seen you in your bikini but never like this, never completely bare. You’re beautiful, Joel thinks. Beautiful in a godly way; a woman the poets write for, a woman the sculptors display in cathedrals.
You reach a hand between your bodies, circling your clit and arching your back.
The thought doesn’t even cross Joel’s mind that he should leave, that he should give the two of you some privacy. It feels right that he’s here. 
You grind yourself on Tommy’s cock and give Joel the sweetest, most innocent smile as you say, “It’s so big, you’re so deep. God, fuck, I’m gonna cum.”
Tommy grabs at the soft swell of your ass, lifting you just to slam you back down onto his lap. “Yeah? Gonna cum all over this dick, princess?”
I prefer the term princess.
No need to wonder why, Joel thinks.
“Mmhm, yes, yes, right there.”
“Can feel her gettin’ all messy,” Tommy says. “If I knew you’d get this wet ridin’ me in your daddy’s bed I would’ve said yes weeks ago, pretty girl.”
Joel knows the reason you’re all worked up has nothing to do with the location and everything to do with his eyes on you, but he stays silent. Stays still.
Even as he watches you fall apart on his brother's cock and soak the satin sheets beneath him. Even as Tommy does the thing that Joel’s been dreaming about every night for days, filling you up with his release. 
He doesn’t linger. He doesn’t fix the creaky hinges, either.
Joel barely makes it back to his truck before he’s reaching into his jeans to stroke his cock, right there in the driveway in broad fucking daylight.
It only takes a few quick tugs before he covers his hand in sticky ropes of cum. He tries to catch his breath, wiping the mess you’ve made of him onto his jeans and driving home ten over the limit. Before he makes it inside to shower and change, Joel sends a text message to both you and Tommy that reads; Okay. I’m in. My place. Friday night at ten.
He tries not to think about it too much. Tries to go on about his work week like normal, going through the motions of making dinner each night and taking Sarah to school every morning with Tommy in the passenger seat.
They don’t talk about it, though Joel can sometimes feel his brother staring at him a little too long as if there’s something he wants to say. But he doesn’t. They don’t bring it up until after Joel drops Sarah off at her friend’s house for another weekend-long slumber party. 
Tommy says, “I’m gonna take her out for dinner. Do you want to come with us? Could help break the ice a little. Loosen you up.”
He agrees, and instead of going home, they pick you up from your house. You’re wearing a pleated blue skirt that’s a little too short, but Joel thinks you look like something divine. Tommy helps you up into the truck, and everything starts to feel real the moment you’re sitting between them. Joel behind the wheel, Tommy on the passenger side.
You look so small in the center of the cab, surrounded by two brothers who possess nothing but longing for you. Like pretty prey caught in the clutches of two predators.
Joel has to readjust himself in his seat when you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. Sweet. “Missed you,” you say. “You look good. You both do.”
He doesn’t comment on the fact that they’re both still in their work attire; dirty blue jeans, sun-faded t-shirts, and muddy boots. He’s surprised to hear your appreciation, considering how put together you always seem to be.
But maybe that’s the appeal for you. The blue-collar archetype. Your daddy probably expects you to marry the son of one of his friends, just another rich boy.
If he could see you now…
Tommy slides his hand to the inside of your thigh and squeezes. “You hungry, princess? Let’s get you somethin’ to eat.”
As much as he hates to admit when his brother’s right, dinner works wonders for Joel’s nerves. The three of you talk the entire time; you tell Joel about your friends and the subjects you’re studying in that fancy college you got into on a full ride. It’s not the one your father wanted you to attend, but it’s the one you wanted.
Even though he knows Tommy has heard it all before, he lets you and Joel have this moment. He sits beside you and smiles at you as you speak, eyes glued to the side of your face and full of adoration. Joel realizes then that he thinks his brother might be in love with you.
He gets it. Thinks it must have been a real easy fall.
Tommy slots himself in the conversation naturally. The two of you clue Joel in on some of your inside jokes and it doesn’t feel weird at all. He doesn’t feel left out like he’d worried he might be, and he doesn’t feel jealous when you steal bites from Tommy’s plate because you steal things from Joel’s, too.
It’s easy. Nothing feels forced, no conversation out of place.
Halfway through the meal, you switch sides of the booth and sit next to Joel instead. You lay your head on his shoulder and he holds your hand beneath the table and it feels right. Tommy smiles at the two of you and carries on with his story as if the dynamic you’ve created has existed for years and not just hours.
When it’s time to go home, Joel finds that his nerves have completely vanished.
Tommy offers to drive. And he’s thankful for it because it allows him to focus on just you.
You take Joel’s hand and lay it in your lap, palm open. He shivers as you trace the lines in his hand. You ask him, “How are you feeling?”
And the answer comes to him easily. “Good,” he says. “Better.”
“Told you,” Tommy says, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh. “She’s a real good girl, Joel. Always does as she’s told.”
Even though the sun is setting below the horizon, he can see the crimson that stains your cheeks and it brings a smile to his face. “S’that right?” He takes your chin gently in his hand and forces you to look up at him. “You a real good listener, sweetheart?”
“Yeah, she is,” Tommy answers wistfully. “Why don’t you g’’head and give Joel some sugar, princess.”
You lean into Joel’s side, pressing a kiss to his jaw. It feels good just being close to you, holding you in his hands, but when you touch him, it’s something else entirely. An uncontrollable desire, an unfamiliar sort of decadence.
Joel cradles your face in his big hand, thumb stroking your cheekbone, and gently presses his lips to yours. It’s soft at first, a tender curiosity. He kisses you again, a little more heated this time, and when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip you grant him access as if it’s second nature. 
His tongue explores yours, tangling together, invading your sweet mouth. Joel thinks you taste a little like honey and a whole lot like fortuity. If you had asked him ten years ago if he’d ever imagined he’d be in this spot, tasting the inside of his brother’s girlfriend’s mouth, Joel would have said it was a delusional thought. 
Yet here he was, cock stiffening in his jeans from something as simple as a kiss. Like he’s some teenage boy, experiencing a woman for the first time.
But it is his first time experiencing you, and Joel knows that’s what makes all the difference. 
The kiss turns sloppy and desperate. And when your panting breaths turn to moans, Joel realizes Tommy’s hand on your thigh has disappeared beneath your skirt.
It surprises him, the magnitude of the moment. Joel would have thought he’d feel jealous somehow, envious that his brother’s touching you and he’s not. But there’s nothing but satisfaction to be found. Joel likes to see the dark look in your eye, likes to see your breath hitch in your throat.
He takes your legs and spreads them wide, draping your thigh over his, giving his brother more room to touch you.
“What do you think, brother? Think we should give her what she needs before we even get home?”
Your face is so close to his that your breath fans across his spit-covered lips as you say so beautifully, “Please, Joel.”
A smirk finds its way to his mouth. “You look so fuckin’ pretty when you beg, sweetheart,” he says. “S’that what you want? Hm?”
You nod frantically, eyes pleading.
“Hold your skirt up, baby,” Tommy instructs. And you do as he says without question, fabric bunching around your hips. 
Joel can’t deny the pleasure he finds in discovering you’re completely bare beneath. Even from his spot in the passenger seat, he can see how glossy your pussy is with arousal, desperate to be touched by both of them. “Oh…look at that, Tommy. She wants it bad, doesn’t she?”
“Always does, brother. Needy little thing. S’why she needs the two of us,” Tommy says. His fingers trail lazily over your slit, a teasing caress. He presses his index finger against your clit and makes a satisfied hum, a sound that comes from somewhere deep in his chest. “Can feel your heartbeat right here, princess. Tell Joel what you want.”
“I want him to touch me,” you say, a little bit breathless. “Want him to make me cum while you kiss me. You taste so good, Joel. You make me so wet.”
The words don’t sound filthy or obscene in your voice, despite how vulgar they are. Joel squeezes your jaw in his hand and delights in the way you grin when he says, “Eyes on me, sweetheart. Wanna see the look on your face when he fills you up with his fingers.”
You’re so pretty, Joel thinks. But it’s nothing compared to the way your pupils dilate as his brother stretches you open. Your lips part and Joel takes the opportunity to crush his mouth to yours, to taste the sweetness you possess. 
He drinks up your moans as Tommy sets a steady pace between your thighs. Joel grabs the back of your knee with a rough hand and spreads your legs further apart. He can hear how wet you are, can feel the goosebumps as they form down the column of your throat.
Joel pulls away from your spellbinding kiss only to catch his breath. “How’s it feel, baby? That feel good, hm? Tommy takin’ good care of you?”
“Yes, yes—mmm—fuck. His hands are so big, feel so fucking good,” you whimper. One hand is clutching Joel’s shirt, holding on for dear life, and you move the other to rest on his cock. You gently knead it over his jeans, and he wonders if you can feel just how hard he is for you.
It doesn’t take long until his brother has you trembling. Your thighs shake and a crease forms between your brows as you chase after the relief you seek.
He kisses you again, tongue brushing against yours, and when you breathe Joel’s name into his mouth he knows what you need before you even ask. 
Slowly, experimentally, Joel’s hand on your knee travels upwards. Over the soft skin of your thigh, taking it all in, savoring you—and then his fingers are circling your clit while Tommy’s are shoved deep inside of you, curved to hit the perfect spot, and you come undone within seconds. 
“Oh, God, Tommy, I—”
“I know, baby, it’s okay. Go ahead,” he says, giving you full permission. 
The words are the last thing you need to reach the full height of euphoria. You’re reduced to a trembling mess in his hands and Joel thinks this is so much better than his dreams. Better than standing in the doorway, watching you, wishing he could hold you.
“That’s it,” Joel praises. “There you go. Bein’ so good for us, sweetheart.” Wetness coats his fingers as he continues to circle your clit until your breath stutters in your chest. He kisses you hard as Tommy’s rhythm begins to slow, eventually stilling completely. 
You wince as they both pull their hands away from you at the same time, a synchronized movement. 
Tommy pulls the truck into Joel’s driveway and chuckles as he looks at you, skirt still hiked up around your hips, limbs boneless. He strokes the side of your face and kisses your hair. “You’re alright, princess. We’re just gettin’ started.”
Joel climbs out of the truck and adjusts your skirt, holding you with an arm around your waist to ensure your balance until both feet are on the ground. Tommy comes to your side and slides his hand into yours, handing Joel the keys.
While he works to unlock the front door, Joel can’t help but smile at the sound of your sweet giggles. He looks over his shoulder to see his brother kissing your neck and grabbing your ass, and the two of you look so infatuated with one another that it’s intoxicating. A magnetism he can’t help but be drawn to, a warmth he wants to embrace.
The minute you walk in the door you’ve got your hands on Joel again. You slip them beneath his t-shirt and he’s thrilled to give you what you want. He pulls it off over his head, discarding it on the back of the couch, and lets out a pleased sigh as you begin peppering wet kisses over his chest, down his sternum, fingers grabbing needily at his skin. 
Tommy stands behind you as you lower yourself to your knees between them. He runs his hands through your hair lovingly and says, “Show him what you do best, baby.”
You smile up at him and it takes Joel’s breath away. He’s never seen someone so pleased to please him, never felt this wanted in all his life. The metal of his belt buckle clinks against the button of his jeans as you undo them, pulling down his zipper in a way that’s familiar to you now.
When you pull his cock out, you wrap one hand around it and guide the tip to your mouth. He’s so hard already that he aches, but the feel of your soft tongue on him grants him ease. You lick every inch of him, an indulgent sort of torture. And then you’re swallowing him down, creating a tight seal with your plush lips.
Your mouth feels like heaven, Joel thinks.
“Look at the way she’s got her legs pressed together,” Tommy murmurs, thumb caressing your temple gently. “Gets so turned on with a dick in her mouth she just doesn’t know what to do with herself.”
“We’re gonna take care of that for you,” Joel says, cupping your jaw in his hand. He shifts it a little lower and can feel the outline of his cock through your throat as you swallow him down, gasping for air you never once ask for. “Gonna take care of everythin’ for you, sweetheart.”
Pleasure coils around his spine, a vise-like grip that threatens to end this night well before he’s ready for it.
Tommy grabs a handful of your hair and draws your head back. Strands of spit still connect you to him and drool runs down your chin. It’s the most pornographic thing he’s ever seen. Tommy laughs and says, “I know, brother. S’almost too good.”
Joel knows it should be a strange thing to hear, but it feels innate. He helps you back to your feet and pulls your shirt over your head while Tommy unzips the back of your skirt and slides it down your legs.
You turn and wrap your arms around Tommy’s neck and he lifts you up in his arms like it’s second nature. Joel supposes it is—the two of you have had a whole lot more practice together than he has. Tommy starts towards the stairs, heading towards Joel’s bedroom, but you let out a whine and reach out for him.
He can’t deny how warm it makes him feel, seeing you all wrapped up in his brother but still reaching for his hand. The smile you give him the moment he touches you makes his heart constrict in his chest. It’s such a soft, intimate moment, and Joel can think of nothing but your conversation on the phone last week.
You worried about catching feelings for me, Joel Miller?
He wasn’t a week ago. But now…? Now, he’s not so sure.
Tommy lays you down in the center of Joel’s bed and the sight of it pushes away his anxiety. You’re so beautiful with your hair splayed out behind you, an angelic sort of halo. The thought crosses his mind that you might have always been meant to exist in his bed.
It feels like second nature to crawl over you, to let his hands roam over your chest, your ribs, your hips. Joel follows each caress with a kiss, mouth following the echo of his hands. He sucks a bruise into your hip, ensuring this moment is real with physical, tangible evidence.
When he gets to the crease of your thigh, Joel sits up and spreads your legs wide. “Look at that,” he whispers. Tommy’s pulling off his worn t-shirt and working on his jeans but pauses long enough to appreciate the sight of your pussy, glossy with arousal and what remains of your first release. “She’s so fuckin’ pretty, ain’t she?”
“Yeah, she is,” Tommy agrees. “Taste’s real pretty, too.” He leans over and presses his mouth to yours, a messy, needy sort of kiss. You whimper as Tommy asks, “What d’you think, princess? Think Joel should get a taste? Hm?”
“Yes,” you say without hesitation. “I want it so bad, Tommy, please.”
“Want it, huh?” Joel slots himself between your thighs, his mouth an inch from where that ache resides. “Maybe we should make her wait a little longer, Tommy. Make her wait ‘til she needs it.”
“No, no, please,” you cry. You buck your hips, trying to find reprieve, but Joel’s hands on your waist hold firm. “I do, I do, I need it, Joel, please, please.”
He looks to his brother to make the decision. Tommy’s got a wicked grin on his face as he watches you writhe on Joel’s sheets. “Think you’ve been real good today. But don’t go forgettin’ your manners, princess. When Joel licks that pretty pussy of yours, you better say thank you.”
The moment he slides his tongue through your slit, your spine bends, arching off the mattress. Your shoulders slump and your breath comes fast. “Oh my god,” you moan. “Thank you, Joel, fuck.”
He tries to give you the same tentative treatment you’ve given him; tracing every inch of you with the flat of his tongue, memorizing the sweet taste, sucking your clit into his mouth. He can feel it pulse with need, and Joel understands the fever.
Your thighs clamp down around his head but Joel doesn’t mind. He just presses his mouth against you harder and flicks his tongue a little faster.
“Tommy,” you whimper. Joel looks up to see your chest heave with each shaking breath. You reach out for his brother with trembling fingers.
“I’m comin', baby,” Tommy says softly. “Don’t you worry.” The mattress dips beneath his weight as he kneels beside you. He cradles your head in his hand, supporting your neck while he eases his cock into your mouth. 
It’s the hottest thing Joel Miller has ever seen in his fucking life.
You grind yourself against his face and he supplies the friction you seek. Arousal coats his facial hair, enveloping his senses in nothing but you. Your moans, your taste, your scent—you, you you. He thinks he’ll never want it any other way but this.
Tommy guides your mouth with a hand wrapped in the tangled strands of your hair. He fucks your face and you whimper around his cock like there’s nothing else in the world that could ever compare. He smiles down at you and says, “You’re gonna make her cum, Joel. Can you feel it? Get’s real sloppy when she’s right there, right on the edge.”
Joel groans against you and focuses his mouth on your clit, giving him just enough room to slip a finger inside you to massage that sweet spot.
You stretch your arms above you and fist your hands in the sheets. When you reach the summit, Joel can feel it on his tongue, can feel your pussy tighten around his finger, can feel your thighs shake around his head.
Tommy pulls your head back, giving you a moment to breathe as another orgasm surges through you. Your moans echo in Joel’s room, the prettiest-sounding symphony he’s ever heard. “Good fuckin’ girl,” Tommy praises, just as breathless as you. “Bein’ such a good girl for us, baby.”
Joel doesn’t relent, doesn’t stop licking your clit until you’re giggling and twisting in his hands at the overstimulation. You sound so satisfied, so happy. It pleases him to see the elation on your face. When he finally pulls away, Joel snakes his arms beneath you and pulls you up to your knees. “So good,” Joel agrees. “But she’s gonna give us another one, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
All you can do is nod and it makes both brothers laugh.
“She’s usually got so much to say,” Tommy teases. “Think we’ve got her fucked dumb, brother.”
“That’s alright,” Joel whispers. “We’ll do all the thinkin’ for her, hm? Take such good care of this sweet little pussy. Turn around, baby. On your hands and knees.”
You do as he says blissfully, ass arched beautifully on display for him. Tommy maneuvers himself in front of you and you take him in your mouth on instinct. Second nature, habitual.
Joel positions himself behind you and slides the head of his cock through your slit. “This what you want, sweet girl? This what you dream of?”
Leaning back, you stroke Tommy with your hand and look up at him as you answer Joel’s question. “Yes,” you say. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw you. Knew I needed you, Joel. Knew I needed you both.”
“Three’s a crowd, princess,” Tommy says. “But I think I like this one.”
Joel’s inclined to agree. He pushes into you slowly, sighing in contentment at the gratifying tightness. You’re so wet, so warm. “Goddamn, baby,” he groans, gripping the supple flesh of your ass to keep himself tethered to earth, to keep himself grounded. 
Tommy holds your face in his hands, smoothing his cock over your lips. “Oh, she likes it, Joel,” he says. “Should see her face. Can I take a picture, baby? So Joel can see how happy you look with his dick all up in your guts? Hm?”
The words are crude but Joel can feel you tighten around him as Tommy speaks. “Mmhm,” is all you can say, sticking your tongue out to lick the underside of Tommy’s cock.
He reaches over to the nightstand where his cell phone sits. Tommy angles his phone just right, and the shutter echoes in the room as he takes his photos.
Joel pushes into you real slow. And when he’s buried to the hilt you let out a gasp and hold onto Tommy’s thigh for support, balance wavering. “It feels so fucking good,” you say.
Tommy takes a couple more photos, tries a couple of different angles. But Joel thinks no image will ever beat the one in front of him.
He watches your pussy stretch to make room for him, watches you soak his cock, desperate for it. Tilting his hips forward, Joel sets a steady pace, easily finding a rhythm that has you moaning out his name. 
Satisfied with his work, Tommy sets his phone back on the nightstand in favor of the filthy exhibit before him. He guides his cock back to your mouth, groaning at the feel of your tongue. 
Joel thrusts into you and feels that coil begin to form around the base of his spine again.
You’re moaning around Tommy’s cock and he’s smiling like there’s no place else he’d rather be. Joel understands that, too—because he thinks you’re the most perfect girl that could have ever stumbled into their lives. “S’this what you needed, princess? Needed us both, hm? Dirty little girl.”
“Our girl,” Joel muses, captivated by the way you squeeze him as he says it. He fits so perfectly inside you, like you were made for him, made for this. “Stretchin’ her out so easy, brother. Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for it.”
Tommy’s head falls back and his hips stutter. “Just like that, princess,” he praises gently. “Yeah, shit—gonna swallow it all like a good little girl, ain’t you?” 
You make a sound of approval at the back of your throat. Joel can see you look up at his brother, cock-drunk and starry-eyed, and he feels his chest pull tight with a strange sense of pride.
Joel slows his pace just a little, long enough for Tommy to take what he needs from you, for you to focus on just him. And then he’s breathing hard as he holds your head still, nose pressed against his navel. His shoulders draw tight and then gradually relax as he spills his release at the back of your throat. 
When Tommy pulls out of you, his cock is covered in spit and cum but you do as he says, dutifully swallowing it all up like the perfect girl you are. And you even clean any remaining mess with your tongue, licking it up with sweet reverence.
He’s close—so close it aches, but he wants you to give him another before this is other. Wants to make it worth your while, wants to know how it feels to make you cum while he’s buried deep inside you. 
You arch your back and press your cheek against the mattress, looking back at Joel from over your shoulder.
Tommy moves to your side, smoothing your hair out of your face with one hand, and then he slips the other beneath you and circles your clit with skilled, deft fingers.
The response is instantaneous. Joel can feel your pussy pulse around him, sees the strain on your face as you fight the pleasure. You say his brother's name like a prayer shrouded in ecstasy.
But Tommy just shakes his head. “Nah, princess. Ain’t up to me this time. You gotta ask Joel permission.”
He doesn’t understand at first, this almost silent communication between the two of you. But then you say, “Joel, please. Please please, I need to cum so bad, it feels too good.”
You sound so fucking pretty, begging for him like that. “Been so good…I think you’ve earned it,” he says gently. “Go ‘head, sweetheart.”
Tommy continues to circle your clit as you clench around Joel’s cock, uttering quiet praises in your ear. 
You tighten around him and Joel’s right there, right there—and then you say, “Cum with me, Joel, please. Cum with me, I wanna feel it.”
And it sends him over the edge. His name in your mouth, begging him to fill you up. He buries himself so deep inside you that there’s no telling where he ends and you begin, and it’s the best orgasm he’s ever had in his fucking life. 
You shudder beneath him and Joel leans forward, pressing his forehead to your spine. He thrusts into you until the last drop, giving you all of it, giving you everything he has to offer.
As you come down, Tommy pulls his hand from beneath you and combs his fingers through your hair. He’s got that stupid grin on his face, but Joel’s not sure he’s ever seen his brother this happy before. 
The three of you just lay there for a moment, saying nothing, unmoving, basking in the afterglow. Joel’s not quite sure how he’s meant to navigate this, not sure what he’s supposed to say or how he’s supposed to feel about the fact that the best sex he’s ever had was with his brother’s little girlfriend. 
But he does know how to take care of a woman. So, he does. Joel eases himself out of you and disappears for only long enough to find a washcloth, wet it with cool water from the bathroom sink, and grab an icy bottle of water from the fridge. 
When he returns to his bedroom, Tommy holds you in his arms while you speak to him in a hushed tone. It worries him a little, truthfully.
So when Joel sits on the side of his bed to clean the light sheen of sweat off your forehead and the mess between your legs, he asks, “Everythin’ okay?”
“Everything’s good. So, so good,” you answer easily, giving him one of those honeyed smiles.
Tommy takes the bottle of water from Joel’s hand and breaks the seal. “Drink,” he says, passing it to you. And you do, listening so obediently.
But the moment your hands are free again you say, “Joel? Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he says. And he means it. Whatever it is you need, whatever it is you want, Joel wants to give to you. He’s come to understand his brother in this, too.
“Do you think you’d want to…I don’t know. Maybe we could do it again?”
He laughs. Genuinely, truly laughs, because Tommy’s been right this whole time. You’re insatiable.
But you quickly amend your words. Saying, “I mean, not…not now. But maybe…maybe I could stay? For the weekend?”
Joel finds the thought of you leaving at the end of the night an unbearable one. And he knows he’ll likely feel the same once Sunday evening rolls around, and he’s not quite sure what that means for him or you or Tommy…but maybe it’s not something he has to worry about today. 
He kisses your forehead and says, “‘Course you can, sweetheart.”
And then you’re reaching for him again, urging him beneath the sheets. You lay your head on Joel’s chest and drape your leg over Tommy’s hip, and you look so at ease, so peaceful that his heart constricts at the sight. You’re so good, so sweet, and Joel thinks he’d do anything to keep you happy.
Later, as your soft snores and shallow breaths fill the silence, Tommy playfully kicks Joel in the shin and says, “Ain’t no use tryin’ to talk yourself off the ledge, brother. Easier to just enjoy the freefall. Take it day by day.”
Joel thinks his brother might be right. Thinks that this might get complicated and messy and dangerous…but for now, for today…he’ll savor the sugary sweetness while it lasts.
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m4tthewmurd0ck · 11 months ago
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Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader
no y/n and i try to avoid descriptors but do use she/her. you star in house of the dragon and your character is aemond targaryen’s girlfriend (let me live ok i know we could change him! he told me!!) aaaand also tbosas as sejanus girlfriend (get it bc rachel and josh and now you and tom). your character in tbosas is nova may winter.
your social media ~
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just a fun little social media series, will do this in between editing my coriolanus snow x reader series. first part below the cut, sometime early 2023.
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liked by enews and others…
tmz_tv trouble in paradise? rachelzegler and tomblyth spotted looking a little cozy last night! wonder how yourname and joshandresrivera feel!!!
yourname heartbroken!
↳ joshandresrivera shocked!
↳ yourname betrayed!
↳ joshandresrivera bamboozled!
↳ yourname flabbergasted!
↳ joshandresrivera devastated!
↳ yourname yeah that we weren’t invited hadbdjsndj
↳ tomblyth i hate you both 😭
↳ rachelzegler you guys literally had reshoots for tbosas though????
↳ tomblyth and we offered to reschedule for when all 4 of us could go?
↳ yourname fuck we’ve been exposed
↳ joshandresrivera gotta blast!!!
username wait are they really dating?!
↳ username no. rachelzegler is dating joshandresrivera and tomblyth is dating yourname.
↳ username waaaait i just read tbosas. obviously coryo and lucy gray, but also yourname character is dating joshandresrivera character 😂 so everyone had to kiss each others significant other 😂😂😭
↳ username oh to be yourname and rachelzegler
🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 30 minutes later 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
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liked by taylorswift and others…
yourname here to serve your #snowbaird needs! first 3 📸 are the love of my life and tomblyth is in the shots too.
rachelzegler hahaha i love you
↳ yourname marry me when???
tchalamet where was the post for paul and luna when dune came out? #fakefriend #betrayed
↳ yourname timothée??? i literally made a whole youtube video talking about my experience with dune? and i sung your praises for like 10 minutes???
↳ tchalamet not the full first name 😳
joshandresrivera and what about the ship for our characters 🤬
↳ yourname istg you’ll get an entire post dedicated to u once the film is actually out.
↳ joshandresrivera carry on 🤭
ewanmitchell aemond and juliette didn’t get a post either 🤨
↳ yourname aemond killed my baby lucerys, he doesn’t get shit 😞
↳ ewanmitchell you did a whole post when osferth died????
↳ yourname my sweet baby osferth did not deserve to die either 😔
username damn yourname your onscreen boyfriends are low key needy af 🫣
↳ yourname i know right 😩
tmz_tv 👀
↳ yourname this was a joke. i’m laughing at you, not with you.
yourname has blocked tmz_tv
tomblyth caption got me like 😧… and what’s the last photo my love?
↳ yourname my lockscreen is what it is.
↳ username “my love”
↳ username she said my lockscreen hahdudsbdifesz one of us one of us
hunterschafer you’re my spirit animal
↳ yourname hunter is the ACTUAL loml you guys
↳ tomblyth “heart been broke so many times” - rod wave 😧
username i read the book. coriolanus has to choke nova may. tomblyth did u develop a choking kink 🤭😏😏😏
↳ yourname hahahaha username i love you so much for this
↳ username someone spoil it for me why does he choke her
↳ username nova may figures out that coriolanus is the one who betrayed sejanus right when he’s executed and she goes to confront him later. this is when he and lucy gray first get to the cabin. she has a gun but he manages to throw it to the other side of the room. and at least in the book he slams her against a wall and tries to kill her by choking her.
↳ username istg they better put this scene in the movie.
↳ username but does he kill her?
↳ yourname watch and seeeee!
↳ rachelzegler so proud of my girl yourname! we can’t talk about it too much because #spoilers but you guys she’s incredible and it was so cool to watch her and tomblyth film that scene
username i bet tomblyth felt so bad having to be mean to yourname
↳ yourname all jokes aside, tomblyth aka the actual number 1 love of my life, he did feel so bad 😭 i love seeing him turn into coriolanus because it’s obviously so different from who he actually is as a person. but after each take he’d immediately ask if i was okay 🥺🥹
↳ username god i’m so single
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if you’d like to be tagged in future tom blyth x actress!reader let me know!
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motherearthlovesus · 1 month ago
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theo nott & regulus black eiffel tower you in france
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pairings: theodore nott x regulus black x reader
warnings: 18+, smut, praise, rough sex, double penetration, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (m. receiving), threesome, swallowing cum, being cummed on, bad italian & french
summary: on a alumni trip to beaubaxtons, seeing the eiffel tower sparks theo and regulus' imagination - based on this mini imagine
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the eiffel tower glimmered in the fading sunset, enchanting a group of hogwarts students who stood mesmerized by the iconic structure. accompanying them was a handful of respected alumni, including, yourself, theodore nott and regulus black, and some other people you never knew very well in school. you had all volunteered to guide the students through their trip to beauxbatons due to the professors busy schedules.
theodore leaned against a nearby railing, a sly grin forming on his lips. regulus stood beside him, trying to ignore a group of fawning 6th-years.
“this view, it gives me an idea.” theo remarked to regulus
“what are you on about nott?” he snarked, walking away from the school girls
theodore's head jerked towards you and he raised a questioning eyebrow, smirking. regulus looked between you, theo and the eiffel tower, a grin immediately plastered his face.
"watch this" theo boasted.
the boys sauntered over to you, theo casually draping his arm around you. you know theo well enough to know that this was definitely cause for suspicion.
"ah sfarzosa, just the girl we want to see" theo threw a wink at regulus that went unnoticed by you. "we'll be stopping by your place later, we have trip admin do to tonight"
you raised an eyebrow, “trip admin? what trip admin?”
regulus chimed in, his expression teasing. “yeah, what trip admin? And doesn't someone needs to be on hallway duty to stop the kids from sneaking out”
“oh, longbottom can take care of that,” theo replied dismissively, waving a hand. “mcgonagall just called, she's making us do it. we’ll see you there at eight.” theo gabbled.
before you could say anything else, the boys had slipped away almost as instantaneously as they had appeared
"watch this" regulus mocked
"well you didn't bloody help!" theo retorted pushing regulus as far away as he could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
you were in the shower when you heard a knock at the door
"fuck" you muttered, quickly turning off the shower and jumping into a fluffy white hotel bathrobe, "how long was i in there?"
you raced to the door and glanced at the clock. 7:30.
you swung the door open and said remarked coldy "you're early!" without a moments hesitation
longbottom stood there flustered and staring at your chest. you looked down and concealed the small about of cleavage showing.
"oh longbottom, its like you've never seen boobs before"
he laughed it off in a way which did not inspire confidence in that fact, "i just came to ask why no body is on hallway duty"
suddenly, a manly hand clamped onto neville's soft shoulder, "that's because you're supposed to be on hallway duty, longbottom"
"oh, right" neville agreed and briskly walked off around the corner. clearly just wanting to leave the situation,
"poor longbottom looked like he was about to have a heart attack" theo feigned sympathy.
"you really should be more careful" regulus added as the boys squeezed past you, regulus shutting the door with his heel
“so, what’s this about admin duty?” you asked, crossing your arms skeptically.
“oh you know, just some itinerary and transport logistics,” theodore said smoothly, a charming smile plastered on his face “gotta keep the trip running smoothly.” he glanced over at Regulus, who was nodding along.
you arched an eyebrow, “really? because i just spoke with professor mcgonagall, and she told me that luna already handled the schedules.”
they glanced quickly at each other, smirked and both put their hands up in defeat.
"merdé" smirked regulus
"you caught us" theo added.
"we just wanted to spend some time with you, trésor"
"but can you blame us? paris is supposed to literally and figuarivley be one of the most magical places on the planet, so obviously we wanted to spend it with the brightest witch we know" theo said as he walked over to you and took your robe off your shoulder.
“you know, it’s not every day we’re in paris with a view like this,” theo hummed
“so, we were thinking we could celebrate by doing something special” regulus continued, stepping closer to untie your robe. you let it drop to the floor, leaving you standing there completely naked. the cool air blew in through the balcony door you forgot to close, causing your nipples to harden.
“pazzo, i can’t decide which view is more beautiful,” theo said, walking around to the side of the bed, his eyes gazing up and down your body.
"i can" regulus said as he bent you over the foot of the bed, he spanked your ass once on each cheek, admiring the view he chose. your breath caught as he suddenly slid his fingers up and down the entrance to your core.
“it seems she’s ready for us, theo” regulus teased lustfully.
“hold her there,” theo instructed, his voice low and sultry. he climbed onto the bed and knelt in front of you, positioning himself just inches away from your mouth.
“now, be a good girl and open up for me,” theo commanded softly, a smirk playing on his lips. with a nod of obedience, you opened your mouth, he caressed your face and he slid himself in. at the same time, regulus positioned himself behind you, teasingly running his tip along your slick core before roughly pushing inside. the dual sensations of pleasure made you gasp around theo, the sound vibrating against him, causing his eyes to darken with pleasure. your body shudders with arousal at being completely filled up.
“parfaite” regulus said, thrusting in deep and slow, his fingers digging into your hips. the rhythm was synced perfectly with theo’s movements, it was driving you crazy.
theo gripped your hair, pulling your head back so that your gaze to meet his as he pushed deeper into your mouth with slow, deliberate strokes. “così, proprio così” he moaned.
you had no idea what any of their words had meant—only that they dripped with hunger, and the way regulus’s voice began to fracture, made it clear you were driving him mad. whatever they was saying, it was exactly what you wanted to hear.
theo’s thumb pressed against your bottom lip, pulling it down just slightly as his gaze bored into yours "look at her,” he drawled, his tone full of smug pleasure. “look at how well she takes us both.” regulus' hips slammed into your ass at such a fast pace, that theo's dick was hitting the back of your throat with each stroke. the overwhelming rhythm between them was relentless—regulus’s rough, deep thrusts drove you forward onto theo until tears welled in your eyes and the pleasure became blinding. with a strangled moan muffled around theo, you came hard, your walls clenching desperately around regulus, pulling him even deeper. your legs threatened to give out, as a second wave of pleasure cam crashing over you.
"there it is,” regulus moaned in between thrusts, the praise curling around you like silk.
“now, sweetheart, be ready” theo said, his breath hitching and his cock twitching in your mouth.
he released himself in your mouth, you could taste the warmth and the salty sweetness of him as you swallowed. the scene sent regulus over the edge as at the next moment he pulled out and painted your back. the sensation sent shivers down your spine. regulus stood there for a moment panting before pulling out his wand.
"scourgify" he said pointing at your sticky back. theo pulled you up onto the bed and placed you down in the middle of it. regulus climbed into bed on the other side and brushed a strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek as his dark eyes studied you with a mix of admiration and mischief.
“you know, we really should do this more often,” he mused.
you smirked, “only if you earn it. you guys don't want me thinking you're easy, do you?”
"no we wouldn't" theo chuckled “how do we do that?”
"that's for you to figure out; i'm far too tired," you murmured, rolling into theo's arms. with regulus then curling up behind you, it felt as though you were floating, and your eyes fluttered shut, welcoming sleep.
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reblogs & feedback are super appreciated <3
there was a million ways i could've ended this but i clearly chose the most boring way 😔😔😔😔 i didn't mean for this to be so long but writing threesomes is inherently more complicated, i think.
also if u spot any spelling or grammar mistakes pls lemme know im super sleepy xoxo
488 notes · View notes
svt-luna · 2 months ago
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𝜗℘ HIM AND I
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❛ 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦, 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘪'𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘦. 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, "𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦", 𝘪 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘺, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪. 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥— 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘪 𝘢𝘮 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪. ❜
timeline: 2024
synopsis: In a momentous night filled with cheers, Luna must confront the void of Jeonghan’s absence, finding solace in the echoes of his unwavering support from afar.
warnings: fluff, slight angst, mentions of anxiety, cursing, pda, flirting, teasing, texting galore, fluff, fluff, fluff, and more tooth-rotting fluff, prepared to be sick of them
surprise!! i simply couldn’t help myself after seeing my baby in the concert yesterday!! this reminded me of a few anon requests i had a few weeks ago (request 1) & (request 2). there are a couple of scenes here as well which were requested by you lovely humans and i decided to do them because of how excited i was. i hope you guys enjoy this even though it’s a little rushed.
also a little fun fact: i accidentally deleted this the second i finished it 💀 thankfully i had saved it in my google docs… almost had a mental breakdown. so please enjoy my blood, sweat, and tears 🤍
╰ ౨ৎ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST ╰ ౨ৎ writings masterlist
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Luna and Jeonghan.
Jeonghan and Luna.
It’s always been the two of them together.
Since the very first day they met in that green-colored practice room at PLEDIS, they were like two peas in a pod.
The moment Luna walked in, feeling the weight of both excitement and uncertainty, Jeonghan was the first to approach her. No hesitation, no judgment— just a warm smile and a hand stretched out in welcome.
From that point on, they were inseparable.
Jeonghan, with his easygoing charm, and Luna, who had initially been more guarded, found a natural rhythm together. He was her first real friend at PLEDIS, and because of that, Luna quickly became his shadow. She followed him everywhere, always listened to him, and valued his opinion above anyone else’s.
Even before asking the others, it was always Jeonghan’s thoughts that mattered the most to her.
Jeonghan was the first to notice every little shift in her mood. He knew when something was bothering her just by a subtle change in her expression. A slight furrow of her brow, a distant look in her eyes— Jeonghan saw it all.
And it worked both ways.
Luna could read Jeonghan like a book, noticing the moments when he was tired, frustrated, or simply needed a break, even when no one else could tell.
They shared an unspoken understanding, a quiet connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.
But it was during Luna’s first monthly evaluation at PLEDIS that their bond solidified into something deeper. The pressure had been mounting ever since she joined. Everyone knew her as the former YG trainee, the one they called ‘The Ace’.
Other trainees whispered about her in the hallways, speculating about her skills, her future, and whether she could live up to the hype. She was terrified, though she would never show it.
Luna stood there, her posture rigid, her expression stoic, but Jeonghan saw right through her.
He knew her mind was running in circles, knew that she was silently carrying the weight of everyone’s expectations.
Right before her turn came up, he pulled her aside, just out of view from the others. Without a word, he placed his forehead gently against hers. Luna’s eyes fluttered closed, and instantly, the world around them began to fade away. It was just the two of them, their breaths slowly falling into sync. She could feel Jeonghan’s steady breathing against her, and with each inhale, her racing heart began to slow.
“Breathe,” Jeonghan whispered softly, his voice calming and sure. “It’s just you and me.”
Luna’s lips parted as she repeated, her eyes still closed, “Just you and me.”
Jeonghan stayed like that for a moment longer, watching her closely, his forehead still pressed against hers. He saw the tension slowly melt from her face, saw her shoulders relax, and he knew she was ready.
He gave her a few seconds to breathe before he finished with one final phrase: “Nothing else.”
And then, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
From that day on, this simple but powerful ritual became their anchor.
Every time Luna faced a challenge— whether it was another monthly evaluation, their first nerve-wracking showcase, their debut stage, or even the countless music show performances that followed— Jeonghan was there.
Always.
Every single time.
And every time, without fail, their routine remained the same.
Foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, their breathing in sync.
“Breathe. It’s just you and me,” Jeonghan would say.
“Just you and me,” Luna would repeat.
And finally, Jeonghan would whisper, “Nothing else,” before placing that same gentle kiss on her forehead.
It became their unbreakable tradition, a constant in the whirlwind of their careers.
Every fan meeting, every concert, whether they were surrounded by thousands of screaming fans or in the quiet of a backstage room, they found those few moments for each other.
In their little bubble, it was always just them.
No matter how loud the world outside got, no matter the pressure or the expectations, when their foreheads touched and their breaths aligned, everything else faded away.
Nothing else mattered but each other.
Jeonghan and Luna had always found a way to stick to their ritual, no matter the circumstance.
There were times when Jeonghan wasn’t there with her before a performance, like when he had his elbow injury or when needed surgery for his ankle. He had been forced to sit out, recovering on the sidelines, watching as Luna and the rest of the members continued performing without him. And then there were moments when Luna wasn’t there either— laid up in bed, sick, forced to watch her team from a distance as they carried on without her.
Yet, even then, it didn’t matter.
They always found a way to connect, a way to anchor themselves in their shared tradition.
They would message each other, without fail, right before going on stage, sending the same words and phrases that had become their pre-show mantra.
Jeonghan’s simple, reassuring words would flash on her screen: Breathe. It’s just you and me.
And Luna would respond, without hesitation: Just you and me.
Jeonghan would finish with the final, comforting line: Nothing else.
It was never the same as having him physically beside her, but it was enough to ground her, enough to carry her through those moments of loneliness and anxiety.
Now, sitting backstage a few hours before the start of SEVENTEEN’s ‘Right Here’ tour in Goyang, Luna felt the familiar nerves bubbling up. They were kicking things off at the Goyang Stadium, a massive venue filled with excited fans waiting to see them.
But this time, it was different.
This time, Jeonghan wasn’t recovering from an injury.
He wasn’t at home, sick, waiting for the next chance to rejoin them on stage.
This time, Jeonghan was gone for what would feel like an eternity— two long years of military service.
As Luna sat in the makeup chair, her hair being carefully curled and styled, her makeup artist putting the finishing touches on her eyeliner, all she could focus on was the reflection staring back at her in the mirror.
Her face was dolled up, her hair perfectly styled, but none of it seemed to matter. Her eyes kept drifting back to her own reflection, searching for something to latch onto, something to calm the anxious storm brewing inside her chest.
This time, things were really changing.
She had come to terms with it over the last few years— the fact that Jeonghan would be gone and that after him, the rest of the members, aside from the foreign members and Seungcheol, would eventually follow.
The inevitability of it all had weighed on her, but she knew it had to happen.
Luna and Jeonghan had talked about it endlessly in the days leading up to his enlistment, late-night conversations filled with reassurances and reminders that this was something every man in Korea had to face.
Even on the day he left, Jeonghan had made it clear— he didn’t want her to be sad without him. That’s what he’d emphasized most. “Smile for me, yeah? You can cry, baby, but don’t spend the next two years crying about it. I’ll still be here. You’ll still see me.” he had said, a teasing grin on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
But Luna knew better.
She knew how much he hated the thought of leaving her, even if he didn’t say it outright.
She was trying— really.
Really trying to see the bright side.
After all, Jeonghan hadn’t enlisted as a regular soldier. Because of his injury, he would be serving as a social worker instead, meaning he wouldn’t be stuck in the grueling life of a combat soldier. But even so, he still had to complete basic training.
He still had to endure those few weeks of separation. Almost two weeks had passed since and it was slowly driving Luna mad.
The last few months had been an emotional whirlwind, a rollercoaster she was still trying to process.
From headlining at Lollapalooza in Berlin to Jeonghan proposing to her the day before the festival, to their last date just days before his enlistment, and then, of course, being caught by the media.
Their five-year relationship and engagement were splashed across the headlines, their private lives exposed for all to see. The mixed reactions from fans and the public alike were something Luna had expected, but it was still exhausting.
And then, Jeonghan had left.
Just like that.
Officially inactive for two years— the two weeks of basic training already felt like an eternity.
And now, here she was, on the first day of their tour, her emotions on overdrive. The excitement of being on stage again, mixed with the crushing weight of Jeonghan’s absence, made her heart feel like it was caught in a tug-of-war.
She needed him here with her.
She needed his warmth, his comfort, his stupid little quips that always managed to pull a smile out of her, no matter how stressed she was.
As the team continued curling her hair, adjusting the strands to perfection, and applying the final touches to her makeup, Luna closed her eyes, trying to block out the bustling chaos of the dressing room. She could hear the other members around her, each one doing their own pre-show rituals. Some were talking and laughing, others were getting changed, or sitting in the makeup chairs.
It was the usual energy before a concert. But all Luna could hear were her thoughts, the mantra she and Jeonghan had shared for years repeating over and over in her mind.
Breathe. It’s just you and me.
The words echoed in her head as she tried to steady her breathing, to keep herself from spiraling into the anxious pit that had been creeping up on her ever since Jeonghan left.
Just you and me.
She whispered the words to herself, a quiet promise that, no matter how far away he was, he was still with her.
Nothing else.
Luna didn’t even realize her fingers had been fiddling with her rings— a telltale sign of her anxiety. She often did it without thinking, twisting and turning the metal bands around her fingers whenever her nerves got the better of her.
But now, the new addition on her left hand, the oval-shaped diamond engagement ring, caught her eye. Its sparkle under the dressing room lights felt like a beacon, drawing her attention to the very thing that had been on her mind all morning.
Her heart clenched, and for a moment, she felt the overwhelming urge to cry.
Seeing the ring, a symbol of her future with Jeonghan, only made her miss him more. But she fought it back, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay.
Not today, she reminded herself. Today is a happy day. It’s the opening day of their world tour.
There was no need for tears— at least, not today.
She had promised Jeonghan she wouldn’t cry about it anymore, not about him leaving, not about the empty space beside her.
She was doing this for him, too.
Those thoughts began to ebb away, only to be replaced by a new wave of anxiety.
This would be her first time on stage since the confirmation of their relationship and engagement, and now, more than ever, she wished Jeonghan were there to face it with her. She always looked to him in these moments when the weight of the public eye felt like too much to bear.
But now, he wasn’t here, and the thought of going out there alone made her heartbeat quicken.
Anxiety slithered its way back into her chest, tightening its grip around her lungs.
I hate my mind sometimes, she thought bitterly, her fingers twisting the engagement ring as she tried to steady her breathing.
Luna wanted to be calm, to focus on the excitement of the concert, but her mind kept drifting back to all the pressure, and all the expectations.
She tried to push the thoughts away, inhaling deeply to force her heart to slow down.
Then, a sudden ding broke through the fog of her thoughts.
Her phone, resting on her lap, vibrated softly, bringing her back to reality. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked down at the screen, blinking a few times to adjust.
Her lock screen— a photo of Jeonghan from their trip to Paris last year— made her heart skip a beat. He was posing in that carefree way only he could, the Parisian architecture stood in the background.
The memory brought a small smile to her face, but her heart skipped another beat entirely when she saw the name of the person who had just messaged her.
‘my angel boy🪽’
It was Jeonghan.
Luna almost burst into tears at the sight. Her fingers fumbled to unlock the phone as she hurriedly opened the message, heart pounding in her chest.
One word stared back at her:
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Luna could’ve cried right then and there, overwhelmed by how perfectly Jeonghan knew her.
Even when he wasn’t physically there next to her, even when they hadn’t spoken in nearly two weeks, he still knew exactly what she needed to hear.
She didn’t know how she got so lucky, how she had found someone so attuned to her, so aware of her emotions.
How did I get so lucky? she thought, her heart swelling with love and gratitude. How am I this blessed to have him?
Her fingers moved quickly across the screen as she typed, a sense of urgency settling in her chest.
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She needed reassurance, despite the fact that it was literally his number. She knew it was him, but a part of her needed to hear him say it again, needed to know he was still there with her in some small way.
The reply came almost immediately as if he knew she’d be waiting, breath held.
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Luna’s chest tightened at the words, her heart swelling and her throat constricting. If it weren’t for the fact that her makeup artist was just finishing up her eye makeup, she probably would have let the tears spill over. But she blinked them back, biting down on her lip to keep herself steady.
Luna let out a shaky breath, her shoulders relaxing for the first time since she’d sat down in the makeup chair.
She was so thankful for him, so unbelievably grateful that no matter what, Jeonghan always found a way to be there for her. Even in the middle of his military service, he had still managed to send her exactly what she needed.
He always found a way for her.
And then, a thought entered her mind— one she didn’t want to entertain, but couldn’t help. She wished it were true, wished more than anything that he was here with her, physically present.
Her fingers moved on their own as she typed the words she was afraid to ask but desperately wanted to hear.
The seconds ticked by slowly, agonizingly, as she waited for his reply. Her heart pounded in her chest, hope mingling with dread, until finally, his answer came through:
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For a moment, Luna’s heart nearly stopped.
Jeonghan was here.
He was really here.
The overwhelming urge to jump out of her chair and run through the stadium to find him flooded her senses.
She wanted nothing more than to see him, to feel his arms around her, to know that he was there in the audience watching her, supporting her as he always had.
Luna stared at the screen, her heart racing and her fingers trembling slightly over the phone as she typed back to Jeonghan. The soft warmth of his words lingered in her chest like a quiet flame, steadying the swirl of emotions that had been consuming her moments before.
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She could almost hear his voice, teasing and soft, comforting her through the miles that stretched between them in her heart, despite knowing he was right there in the audience.
Her lips curled into a smile as her fingers hovered above the keyboard, their playful banter still vivid in her mind.
Her gaze drifted from the phone for a moment, taking in the organized chaos of the dressing room around her. The makeup artists and staff were in their usual whirlwind, preparing for the show, but Luna’s world had narrowed down to that little device in her hands and the man on the other side of the screen.
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Luna could practically feel his presence in those words— steady, reassuring like he was holding her hand through the screen.
As the conversation came to a close, Luna found herself taking a deep breath.
The anxiety that had been gnawing at her seemed to ease as Jeonghan’s words echoed in her mind. He had this way of grounding her, making everything seem a little less daunting.
With her heart still pounding but in a much softer rhythm now, she tucked her phone away, letting out a small exhale.
The moment was tender and fleeting, but it was enough. Enough to remind her of why she was here, why she was standing on the precipice of something so grand, and why she wouldn’t let her fears hold her back today.
Because, as Jeonghan had said, it was just them— just Luna and him in this moment, no matter the crowd, no matter the circumstances.
Her gaze returned to the mirror, catching the reflection of the sparkling ring on her finger.
That simple band now held so much meaning.
It wasn’t just a promise of forever; it was a reminder that no matter where life took them, Jeonghan would always find a way to be by her side.
Luna released a long, steady breath, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment as she centered herself. She was still buzzing with excitement from the conversation with Jeonghan, her heart racing faster than it had any right to.
But now it was time to focus.
There was a show to do.
Opening night.
Slowly, she stood up from the makeup chair, her muscles loosening as the tension from the past few minutes ebbed away.
Her stylist, Jiwoo, called out her name just as Luna was about to head to her dressing room.
“Jiyeon-ah! Here’s your opening outfit.”
Jiwoo came toward her with the ensemble, a stunning black and white stage outfit designed to captivate under the lights. Luna’s fingers gently brushed against the fabric as Jiwoo handed it to her. The shimmering accents practically glowed under the dressing room lights.
“Wow,” Luna breathed out, her eyes gleaming with appreciation. “Why does it look better now than during the first dress rehearsal? It’s amazing.”
“Only the best for ou stars,” Jiwoo replied with a wink, smiling as she stepped back to admire the outfit Luna was clutching to her chest.
Luna felt a surge of warmth at her stylist’s words. She thanked her quietly before heading off, her mind now completely absorbed in the rhythm of preparation.
She was halfway down the room when she noticed Seungcheol, already dressed in his own stage outfit, leaning casually against the wall, eyes glued to his phone. His head was bobbing slightly to the beat of the music playing in the background, courtesy of Vernon, who had a playlist going to pump everyone up.
A mischievous smile formed on Luna’s lips as she quickened her pace and approached him. Without warning, she lightly punched him in the arm, enough to startle him but far from anything painful.
Seungcheol blinked in surprise, his eyes lifting from his phone to meet hers. “What was that for?” he asked, not angry at all but pouting back at her in mock offense. His expression was so comically disbelieving that it made Luna’s grin widen.
Luna gave him a playful pout of her own, leaning in slightly as she clutched the outfit closer to her chest. “Why didn’t you tell me he was here?” she asked, her tone teasing but with an underlying warmth.
Her heart still fluttered at the thought of Jeonghan surprising her.
The realization dawned on Seungcheol, and his eyes widened slightly before nodded his head in understanding. “So, he told you already, huh?” He crossed his arms, his brow furrowing in mock scolding, looking down at her like a parent about to lecture their child. “Did he also tell you that he told us not to tell you?” His eyebrow raised as if challenging her, though the soft smile on his lips betrayed any real annoyance.
Luna almost burst out laughing at the way Seungcheol worded his sentence. He really could be so serious sometimes. Still, her pout remained as she nodded in confirmation.
Seungcheol sighed dramatically, shaking his head. “Then why did you punch me?”
Luna couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth, her expression softening as she looked up at him. “Because I’m happy, Cheollie,” she replied, her voice almost childlike in its honesty.
The simplicity of the statement, combined with the sincerity behind it, made the moment feel lighter, as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Seungcheol’s expression softened too. His stern act melted away as he looked at her, the leader in him always understanding, always protective. “Well, I’m happy that you’re happy,” he said, his tone gentle, filled with affection for his longtime friend.
Luna hummed in grateful acknowledgment, her chest swelling with an overwhelming sense of joy.
If she was fire, Seungcheol’s words had been gasoline, igniting her spirit even further.
She felt more energized than ever, more ready to step onto that stage and give her all.
Without thinking, she leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on Seungcheol’s cheek. The surprised look on his face made her giggle.
Then, with a renewed sense of excitement, she skipped— yes, literally skipped— down the hallway toward the changing room, her laughter echoing softly as she disappeared around the corner.
The members of SEVENTEEN could feel the shift in the atmosphere almost immediately.
Luna’s energy was palpable, radiating from her as if an invisible weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders.
For weeks now, they had watched her bury herself in work, her usual brightness dimmed by the heavy absence of Jeonghan. Ever since he left for his enlistment, it was as though Luna had lost a piece of herself. She had kept her head down, moving from one task to the next with little time to breathe in between.
Photoshoots, solo events, rehearsals, preparation for this concert —she threw herself into it all.
Even during Fashion Week, where she shone as brightly as any model on the runway, the members knew it wasn’t quite the same. They could see it in the way her smile never quite reached her eyes, how she lingered a little too long in the practice room after hours, working through the choreography over and over as if hoping the physical exhaustion would drown out the emotional strain.
But no matter how much work she piled on, it didn’t fill the void left by Jeonghan.
It wasn’t just her who felt it.
The rest of the group could sense his absence as keenly as she did.
Jeonghan was like the glue that held them all together, always there with a teasing smile or a comforting word, and without him, something essential was missing. It didn’t help that Jun wasn’t around either, caught up in his own projects back in China.
Two out of fourteen of their pillars were gone, and though the group was as close-knit as ever, the hole they left behind was impossible to ignore.
But tonight, as Luna skipped down the hallway, her lightness and joy infecting the air around her, the difference was startling. It was as if the dark cloud that had been hovering over her for weeks had finally broken, letting the sun shine through again.
And everyone noticed.
Seungkwan, who had been warming up his voice nearby, exchanged a glance with Dokyeom, who grinned knowingly. “She’s definitely in a better mood,” Seungkwan murmured, his eyes following Luna as she disappeared around the corner.
“Thank Jeonghan hyung for that,” Dokyeom chuckled softly.
The rest of the members murmured their agreement. They knew how close Luna and Jeonghan were; they had been witnesses to the growth of their relationship, from quiet glances and hidden smiles to the deep bond they shared now.
Watching Luna struggle these past few weeks had been hard on all of them, especially since there was little they could do to ease the ache of missing someone so important.
But tonight, with Jeonghan’s surprise appearance, it was as if a piece of her heart had been restored. Luna practically floated through the corridors, her excitement contagious. The members couldn’t help but feel a surge of their own happiness, relieved that at least for now, Luna’s spirit had been lifted.
They were grateful to Jeonghan for pulling her out of the fog she had been in, if only for a little while.
The concert looming ahead was significant for all of them— opening night for their ‘Right Here’ world tour. A twelve-member performance instead of their usual fourteen. It felt incomplete, yet seeing Luna smiling again was a balm for their own worries.
They might not be able to share the stage with Jeonghan and Jun tonight, but they would carry the spirit of their absent brothers with them.
And for now, it was enough.
The air in the backstage room buzzed with an electric tension, the kind that always hung in the moments before a show.
Luna could feel her heart racing in her chest as she stood in the familiar circle with the rest of SEVENTEEN, their hands together in front of them as they leaned in close. This huddle had become their tradition, a quiet moment of unity before they stepped onto the stage.
It was their anchor, the reminder that no matter how many people screamed their names or how many bright lights shone on them, at the core, it was still the fourteen of them— or in this case, twelve.
Seungcheol, their leader, always took the opportunity to speak in these moments. His voice was calm, but there was a fire beneath it, a quiet strength that reassured all of them. “Let’s give everything we’ve got out there,” he said, his eyes sweeping over the circle, locking briefly on each of them. “Opening night of our world tour, let’s give them a show. For Jeonghan and Jun.”
There was a pause as the weight of his words hung in the air— Jeonghan and Jun.
Their absence was a wound they all felt deeply, but tonight wasn’t about sadness. It was about showing the world their strength, even if incomplete. And for Luna, it was about showing Jeonghan how proud she was, knowing he was somewhere out there watching.
With a deep breath, they all chanted their group cheer, voices blending into one. The sound reverberated through the room, filling Luna’s chest with warmth and grounding her. As the cheer faded, they broke apart, nodding to each other with a shared understanding.
This was it.
Luna’s heart thudded in her chest as she took her position on the platform behind the massive LED screen with the rest of the members. Her palms were slightly sweaty, and she wiped them discreetly against the fabric of her stage outfit.
The seconds ticked by slowly, anticipation building in the air like a coiled spring. She closed her eyes, drawing in a slow breath to center herself, repeating the mantra that always ran through her mind before the lights hit her face. She exhaled slowly, feeling the jittery energy settle into something more controlled, more focused.
When her eyes opened again, it was just in time to see the LED screen in front of them begin to part.
The roaring of the crowd outside, though slightly muffled by her in-ear monitor, was deafening. It was like standing at the edge of a storm, the rumble of thousands of voices merging into one wild, electric sound.
The adrenaline that rushed through her veins was immediate, like a shock to her system, awakening every nerve in her body. Luna could feel it pumping in time with the beat of the song, ‘Fear,’ which began to pulse through her ears.
As the screen fully opened, revealing the stage in all its glory. The noise of the crowd swelled even louder, crashing into them like a tidal wave, but the music in her in-ear monitor kept her grounded. She felt the thrum of the bass vibrate through her body, each beat synchronizing with her racing heart.
From the very first note of ‘Fear,’ Luna was on. Her movements were sharp, and precise, every step of the choreography drilled into her muscles through hours of practice.
The adrenaline coursing through her veins made everything feel sharper, more intense— the rush of the performance intoxicating. She was alive in a way that nothing else in the world could make her feel. Every sway of her hips, every lift of her arm, and every spin was executed with flawless precision. The music was in her bones, and the choreography felt like second nature, her body flowing effortlessly from one move to the next.
Luna’s eyes found the cameras, her expression shifting into the sultry, fierce gaze she knew the fans loved. Each camera angle was met with purpose— a glance, a smirk, a fleeting look that would send their fans into a frenzy. She could feel their energy, their excitement feeding into her own, and it made her perform even harder, even better.
The members around her were just as immersed in the performance. They moved as one, the choreography flawless, their presence commanding.
They were SEVENTEEN, a unit, even when parts of them were miles away.
As ‘Fear’ bled into ‘Fearless,’ the energy only amplified. The transitions were seamless, Luna’s voice strong and clear as she hit each note with power. Her voice was steady through her in-ear monitor, and she felt the music vibrate through every fiber of her being.
She lived for this— the lights, the stage, the connection with the audience. There was nothing quite like the feeling of performing, the way the adrenaline and music melded together into one euphoric experience.
With every song, every movement, the crowd grew louder, their energy mixing with her own. She craved it, thrived on it. It fueled her, pushing her to give more, to hit each move harder, to sing with more passion.
By the time ‘Maestro’ started, the third song in their opening set, Luna was fully in the zone. Her body moved on pure muscle memory, her vocals strong as they rang through the arena. She nailed every single move, every single note.
And through it all, she couldn’t help but give a little more, and perform with just a bit more intensity. Because tonight wasn’t just for her.
Tonight, she knew Jeonghan was watching. He was out there somewhere in the sea of fans, his eyes on her, and that knowledge made her push herself to give a hundred and one percent.
This is for you, she thought, her heart swelling with pride and love.
Every move, every note— it’s for you.
As the third song, ‘Maestro,’ came to an electrifying end, Luna and the rest of the members made their way to the front of the stage. The adrenaline still coursing through her veins was a heady mixture of euphoria and exhilaration. She could feel the sweat cooling on her skin beneath the stage lights, the pounding in her chest mirroring the thrumming energy of the arena.
The fans were screaming louder than ever, their voices a roaring tidal wave that seemed to rise and crash over the stage, swallowing the entire stadium in a sea of sound.
The members, still catching their breath from the performance, began to line up. Each of them took turns stepping forward for the opening ment, one after another, introducing themselves as a team and sharing their thoughts with the audience.
Luna stood among them, her eyes sweeping across the ocean of Carats before her. The crowd was vast— thousands of faces, all illuminated by lightsticks glowing in the stadium. It was a breathtaking sight, a reminder of just how far they’d come together.
As the other members took turns speaking, Luna allowed herself a small smile. She could feel the weight of the moment, how special it was to open this tour in Goyang. But there was something more than just excitement for the concert tonight— there was a warmth blooming in her chest, something that had taken root the moment she found out Jeonghan was somewhere in attendance watching.
For the first time in weeks, the emptiness she’d been carrying around wasn’t so heavy anymore.
Her gaze flicked back to the crowd as she waited for her turn to speak, her smile softening as she took it all in. The fans, some waving banners with her name, others dressed in shirts with her image printed on them, were giving all their energy back to her.
It was overwhelming in the best way possible, and she felt a wave of gratitude wash over her. These were the people who had supported her from the beginning, who had stood by her side through every high and low, and tonight was as much for them as it was for her and the members.
But before Luna could fully lose herself in her thoughts, the sound of the fans’ screams hit her ears, sharper and louder than before.
Startled, she blinked and realized her face had just been projected onto the enormous LED screen behind them. Her in-ear monitor had been removed earlier, so she heard the screams in all their full, raw intensity. It echoed through the arena, sending a surge of energy back into her, and she felt a slight flutter of amusement as she noticed the reaction of the crowd.
It wasn’t the first time she’d seen this reaction— the mixture of screams and disbelief. She was used to it by now, especially when her face appeared on the big screen, the high-definition clarity often making her look almost surreal as if she had been computer-generated. She had heard the fans joke about it countless times, calling her “too perfect” or “CGI” whenever she appeared like this.
Luna’s lips curled into a knowing smirk, her eyes locking with the camera directly in front of her, playing into the reaction. The screams grew even louder as the fans realized she was looking straight at them, her expression one of playful mischief.
She lifted her mic to her mouth, ready to speak, but before she could even get a word out, another wave of deafening screams erupted, cutting her off completely.
At first, she wasn’t entirely sure why— until her eyes caught the glint of light reflecting off her left hand.
Her engagement ring, the huge diamond glittering under the stage lights, was now visible to everyone as she used that hand to hold up the mic.
Luna couldn’t help but giggle, understanding immediately. Of course, they would react to that. This was the first time anyone had properly seen her wear the ring in public since the engagement news broke, and it was impossible to miss.
She waited patiently for the noise to die down, though her amusement was evident in the small laugh that escaped her lips. She raised her right hand slightly, signaling for the crowd to calm down. “Shh…” she hushed them playfully, the warmth of her tone making it impossible for the fans not to fall in love with her all over again. The stadium quieted, but just barely, the energy still crackling in the air.
“Hi, Carats!” Luna greeted brightly, her voice amplified through the speakers, instantly met with another round of enthusiastic cheers. Her smile widened as she continued, her heart swelling at the overwhelming response. “It’s your Luna.” She paused, letting the cheers wash over her again, feeling the adrenaline kick back into her veins.
“I’m so excited to be here with all of you tonight,” she continued her tone a mix of sincerity and excitement. Her eyes scanned the crowd again, drinking in the sight of all the fans who had come out to support them. “Opening the world tour in Goyang… It feels surreal.” She smiled, the sentiment clear in her voice. The fans responded with more cheers, their excitement palpable.
“I’ve missed you guys so much, and I’m so ready to make this an unforgettable night. Are you ready?”
The stadium erupted once more in response, and Luna’s heart soared. She knew, without a doubt, that this was going to be a night they would all remember for the rest of their lives.
Luna was just about to continue her ment, feeling the excitement of the crowd and the energy radiating from every corner of the arena, when the screams around her suddenly surged to a deafening level.
It was so loud that it sent a jolt through her, the vibration of thousands of voices hitting her like a wave. She blinked, momentarily stunned by the intensity, her lips parting in confusion as she glanced around.
“Why?” she mouthed silently, furrowing her brows as she looked down at the pit directly in front of the stage.
Her eyes scanned the faces of the fans closest to her, searching for any sign of what could be causing the commotion. But all she could see were the fans pointing wildly behind her, their faces alight with excitement and disbelief.
Before Luna could fully process what was happening, the members’ shouts reached her ears.
“Jeonghan-ah!” Seungcheol exclaimed, followed by Seungkwan and Dokyeom who chorused, “Jeonghan hyung!”
“Hyung!” echoed through the speakers, their voices overlapping in a mixture of excitement and joy.
Luna’s heart skipped a beat.
She turned so fast that her hair fanned out behind her, whipping around in the rush. Her eyes immediately flew to the massive LED screen behind her, and there, on the other side of the screen— clear as day— was Jeonghan.
Her Jeonghan.
He was sitting in the VIP box, slightly off to the side, his phone raised in front of him.
Luna’s breath caught in her throat when she realized what he was doing— he had been filming her. From the moment her ment started, Jeonghan had been recording, and even now, his phone was still pointed at her, capturing every second of her on the big screen for all to see.
A huge smile broke out across Luna’s face, uncontrollable and radiant. Her heart swelled, a mix of affection and disbelief flooding her chest.
Despite the face mask covering the lower half of his face, there was no mistaking it— it was him.
His presence was unmistakable, and the way he waved at the camera, greeting the fans with that familiar charm, made it all the more real.
The entire arena seemed to vibrate with excitement as Luna felt her emotions catch up with her. She could barely tear her eyes away from the screen, but when she did, her gaze found him in real life. Her eyes locked onto him, sitting in the VIP box at the top of the stadium, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the world faded away.
It may sound cliché but she fell in love all over again.
His simple, unwavering presence— here, in the middle of everything— was enough to make her heart race, and the love she felt for him deepened, filling every corner of her being.
Luna brought the mic to her lips, a laugh bubbling up in her throat as she shook her head. Without thinking, she playfully yelled, “Ya! Yoon Jeonghan!” Her voice came out as a half-whine, half-scream, making the members around her burst into laughter.
The fans, already whipped into a frenzy, screamed even louder at her words, the energy reaching a fever pitch. Luna grinned, unable to help herself, her laughter mixing with the cheers. The other members joined in, their amusement clear as they teased her.
“I miss you,” Luna added, her voice soft but clear over the speakers.
And that was it— absolute pandemonium.
The stadium exploded, the screams of the fans echoing through every corner of the arena, drowning out everything else. Luna couldn’t help but laugh again, the sheer magnitude of the moment hitting her all at once.
But it didn’t stop there.
Jeonghan, ever the showman, lifted his phone higher for everyone to see. The camera zoomed in on the LED screen, and the crowd collectively gasped.
Displayed on Jeonghan’s lock screen was a picture of Luna. Not just any picture— one from a date they had taken in Japan a few years ago, one of their private moments now shared with thousands.
The arena went absolutely insane, the noise level so high it almost shook the stage beneath their feet.
Luna’s face flushed bright red, her hand flying to her mouth in a futile attempt to hide her embarrassment. She turned around quickly, facing the back of the stage, her shoulders shaking with laughter.
The members around her were jumping up and down, laughing so hard they were barely standing still, their teasing relentless.
“Oh my god, Jeonghan hyung is such a romantic!”Seungkwan shouted, grinning from ear to ear.
“Is that from your date?” Joshua teased, nudging Luna playfully.
“Jiyeonie noona is blushing!” Dino called out as he pointed at her making the others laugh even harder.
Luna turned back around, her face still flushed as she dared to peek at the big screen again. Jeonghan was still there, but now he was pointing at the picture on his phone, then at himself, and then he dramatically pointed at his cheek, a playful demand for a kiss.
The crowd went wild, the screams reaching an ear-piercing level as fans caught on to what he was asking for.
“I think he is asking for a kiss,” Seungkwan exclaimed, laughing.
Luna couldn’t help but giggle, her heart racing with a mix of affection and embarrassment. She brought the mic up to her lips, still smiling as she faced Jeonghan’s side at the VIP box. “Alright, alright,” she said playfully, her voice ringing through the stadium.
Then, with exaggerated flair, she blew him a flying kiss, her hand gracefully sending it his way.
The moment her hand dropped, Jeonghan dramatically threw himself back into his seat, clutching his chest as if he had been struck by her kiss.
His playful reaction made the fans go even crazier, and the members around Luna erupted into laughter once again, their teasing and joy filling the stage.
“Look at him, he’s down!” Dokyeom shouted, pretending to fall over in mock imitation of Jeonghan.
“That’s it, he’s been hit!” Hoshi added, cackling.
Luna’s laughter was loud and genuine, her heart full to the brim as she watched Jeonghan’s antics. The fans, the members, and even she herself couldn’t stop laughing.
It was chaos, pure and beautiful chaos, the kind that made nights like these unforgettable.
After the playful chaos with Jeonghan finally settled, the rest of the members resumed their opening ments, their laughter slowly giving way to more composed introductions and heartfelt words for the audience.
Luna, still feeling the lingering warmth from Jeonghan’s surprise, smiled softly to herself as each member took turns speaking. The energy from the fans was infectious, their excitement palpable in the air, and Luna could feel it vibrating through her body as she stood there.
Her heart was full, and despite the adrenaline still pulsing in her veins, a sense of peace settled over her.
As the ments drew to a close, the lights dimmed once more, and the show continued. The familiar rhythm of concert life took over, and the intense but thrilling rush of performing for thousands blended with the organized chaos behind the scenes.
Luna, along with the rest of the members, darted backstage after each set, the heavy weight of sweat-soaked outfits quickly replaced with fresh, intricately designed costumes for the next round of performances. Staff swarmed them, deft hands touching up makeup, fixing stray hairs, and ensuring every detail was perfect for the next stage.
The transitions were fast and seamless, but it was a routine they all knew well. Even though their hearts were pounding from the intensity of the performances, there was an unspoken synchronization between them and the crew that made everything flow smoothly.
Hairdressers would gently direct Luna into place, powdering her face or dabbing at her forehead to control the sweat, while stylists adjusted her new outfit with quick but precise movements, pulling at seams, fastening zippers, and checking accessories.
All of it was part of the dance behind the curtain— a carefully orchestrated chaos that Luna thrived in.
She barely had time to think as they moved from one stage to the next, the brief moments of calm between sets filled with the hurried energy of preparation.
And yet, amidst the rush, Luna found small pockets of time to catch her breath. When there was a moment— perhaps while waiting for the final adjustments to her outfit, or in the seconds before they rushed back onstage— she would glance at her phone.
Jeonghan, ever the dork, had been texting her nonstop from his seat in the VIP box, live-commentating as though he weren’t right there watching the whole thing in person.
His messages were ridiculous but endearing, a constant stream of compliments and observations that made her smile even when she was exhausted.
Between texts about how she nailed a particular move or how amazing she looked in her current outfit, Luna found herself laughing under her breath. Jeonghan’s enthusiasm for her performances, even though he had seen her on stage countless times, never seemed to wane.
His words, no matter how silly or over-the-top, made her feel seen and calm— like she was the only person in the room, even though there were thousands watching her.
As the show progressed, Luna slipped into the rhythm of it all. Each costume change, each song, each interaction with the fans— it all blurred into a heady mixture of excitement, adrenaline, and joy.
But through it all, there was Jeonghan, his presence like a tether grounding her, even from afar. She could feel his eyes on her, even when she wasn’t looking in his direction. And whenever she had a spare moment to breathe backstage, she’d quickly type back a teasing reply, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at his words.
It was like any other concert in some ways— the fast pace, the never-ending flow of energy— but at the same time, it was different.
There was a lightness in her heart she hadn’t felt since Jeonghan left for his enlistment. His presence here, even just in the audience, brought her comfort in a way that made this concert feel special, as if this night was theirs alone, even in front of thousands.
As the concert reached its halfway mark, the energy in the arena surged once more as the opening notes of ‘Good to Me’ filled the space. The pulsating beat and rhythmic synths set the mood for the song, its sensual yet intense tone capturing the attention of everyone in the stadium.
Luna felt a thrill run through her as she got into position, preparing for her part. This song held a special significance tonight, more so than it ever had before.
This song in particular is about desire, about someone craving the presence and touch of someone else who is always good to them— both emotionally and physically. The lyrics were bold and full of passion, and every time they performed it, it felt like they were laying bare their emotions for all to see.
But tonight, for Luna, those lyrics held an even deeper meaning.
As the first verse unfolded, the members took turns with their lines, their movements synchronized and sharp, every gesture purposeful. The choreography was fluid, with a mix of subtle sensuality and power, perfectly matching the song’s intensity. When it was Luna’s turn to sing, her voice cut through the air, clear and confident.
“‘Cause you, you're my everything, we are a match. Cause you, you're my everyday, you also know it.’”
Her eyes drifted toward the VIP section, where she knew Jeonghan was watching. She sang the lyrics as if they were meant for him and him alone. Her gaze locked on the spot where he sat, a subtle smile playing on her lips as she poured every bit of emotion into the words.
“‘I need you, you need me. Cause you, you already know, everything is you, you.’”
The song spoke of someone whose presence was irresistible, someone who made everything feel right, even when things were difficult. And right now, Luna couldn’t help but direct those words to Jeonghan, who had been her rock, her constant source of support, even though he wasn’t physically by her side these days.
When Jeonghan’s usual part in the song came up, a brief instrumental break building the anticipation, Luna seamlessly took over his lines, her voice rich with emotion as she sang in his place.
“‘You did this once before, only by looking at your eyes I can tell, whatever may happen, I want to know this emotion.’”
She turned fully to where Jeonghan sat, her eyes sparkling under the stage lights as she sang to him, her voice softening slightly as though the thousands of fans didn’t exist at that moment.
It was just her and him.
She could feel the weight of her emotions bubbling up as she sang to him, every word wrapped in the longing she had felt since he left for his enlistment.
The lyrics— about someone being so good to her, about how everything about that person was perfect— took on a whole new meaning now.
It wasn’t just a song anymore; it was her heart speaking to Jeonghan.
As the chorus hit again, the music swelled, and Luna moved back into the choreography, her body syncing with the rest of the members as they danced with precision and grace. The lights flashed in rhythm, and she could hear the deafening screams of the fans, though the sound was muffled by her in-ear monitors. The energy was electric, but amidst the chaos, something unexpected happened.
Suddenly, Jeonghan’s face appeared on the massive LED screen behind them, catching both Luna and the other members off guard. The audience roared in response, the sudden sight of him sending a wave of excitement through the arena.
He was watching Luna with that familiar, soft smile in his eyes, his phone held up to capture the moment as if he couldn’t get enough of watching her perform.
Luna’s breath hitched for a split second, but then a smile broke across her face. She couldn’t help but laugh as she continued to sing, her movements a bit more playful now as she pointed toward the screen where Jeonghan’s face loomed above them all. The rest of the members joined in on the fun, laughing and teasing her as they danced and sang around her, clearly enjoying the moment as much as the fans were.
The fans, who were already losing their minds, screamed even louder when they realized Jeonghan was watching his fiancée with such open admiration. Luna playfully rolled her eyes, her heart swelling as she continued to sing and dance, now with a renewed sense of joy.
For a few seconds, it felt like everything in the world was perfect. Jeonghan, despite not being on stage, was still a part of the performance in his own way, and the fact that Luna had been dedicating this song to him all along made it even sweeter. She twirled with the rhythm, her body moving effortlessly through the steps as she threw a playful glance at where Jeonghan sat.
And for that brief moment, as she danced and sang her heart out, Luna felt like the distance between them was nothing. It was as if he were right there with her on stage, sharing the spotlight.
As the final notes of ‘Good to Me’ faded out, Luna couldn’t help but glance once more toward the VIP section, her heart fluttering as she thought of him watching her.
The lights dimmed on stage as the last notes of their set echoed throughout the arena. With a collective breath, the members hurried off the stage, rushing toward the backstage area in their usual post-performance frenzy.
It was the familiar chaos of concerts: stylists, makeup artists, and hair stylists all buzzing around, ready to get them prepped for the next set. Luna felt the residual adrenaline in her veins, her chest heaving as she tried to steady her breathing. The fan in front of her chair whirred softly, its cool breeze hitting her flushed face as she sipped from her water bottle.
Her body was still buzzing with energy from their performance, her skin damp from sweat, strands of her hair sticking to her temples. She sat in front of the mirror in her chair, eyes half-closed, her hands limp at her sides as multiple people fussed over her.
One person gently dabbed at her face with a sponge, touching up her makeup, while another tugged at her hair, fixing strands that had come loose during their vigorous dancing. Luna sat still, letting them work, only opening her eyes every now and then to check her reflection, making sure everything was back in place.
Her breathing was finally starting to slow down, the pounding of her heart calming after the rush of the performance. She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the vanity in front of her, watching the reflection of her teammates in the mirrors around her as they too got their touch-ups.
The room was alive with activity, the noise of the concert still a faint echo from the stage outside.
But just as she was gathering herself for the next half of the show, a few crew members came in, a noticeable tension in their steps. Luna straightened slightly in her seat as one of them approached Seungcheol, the leader, with a serious expression.
“There’s been a small fire on stage,” the crew member announced, causing the entire room to fall silent. Luna’s stomach dropped, her eyes widening in shock as she quickly glanced at the other members.
Everyone froze for a second, processing what they had just heard.
A fire?
Before any of them could react, the crew member quickly continued, raising his hands to reassure them. “It’s nothing major! Just a light fixture caught fire, but the staff is already handling it.”
Relief washed over the room, but the air still felt tense. Questions were thrown around in rapid succession, the members’ voices overlapping as they expressed their concerns.
“Is everyone okay?”
“Is everything under control?”
“Is anyone hurt?”
“Can we still continue the show?”
“How long do you think it’ll take?”
Seungcheol, ever the responsible leader, was busy talking to the staff, his voice low but firm as he tried to get more details.
Luna, though still a little shaken by the news, stood up from her chair, adjusting her sleeves as she walked over to where the rest of the members were gathered. Her concern mirrored theirs, but the crew assured them that the situation was being managed.
“We’ll need to delay the show for a few minutes while we make sure everything is safe before you can continue,” another crew member explained, and Luna could feel the unease in the room settle somewhat.
The staff’s confidence was reassuring, but the worry for the fans still lingered.
Luna stood near the center of the group, her fingers absentmindedly fixing the cuffs of her outfit as they all discussed the situation. “As long as everyone is fine and no one is hurt–” she began, her voice steady despite the worry she felt.
But before she could finish her sentence, something felt… off.
The room grew a little quieter, and she noticed some of the members stifling laughter. Seungkwan was biting his lip, trying not to give anything away, while Minghao’s eyes sparkled mischievously as he watched something— or someone— behind her.
Confused, Luna paused, looking down at her sleeves as she fiddled with the fabric. She didn’t notice the figure that had quietly slipped into the room behind her, moving with the practiced stealth that only one person could pull off.
Suddenly, a familiar voice spoke from beside her, its gentle tone making her heart skip a beat, though she was so used to it, that she didn’t even question it at first.
“Everyone is fine,” the voice said smoothly, almost casually. “The staff are handling it.”
Without even glancing up, Luna nodded, completely absentminded. “That’s good,” she murmured, still focused on adjusting her outfit.
The members erupted into laughter from in front of her, and that’s when it hit her.
Wait… that voice.
Her hands froze mid-adjustment. Slowly, Luna’s eyes widened, and she turned her head to the side, not fully registering what had just happened. But when she finally looked to her left and saw who was standing next to her, she did a double take, her breath catching in her throat.
“Hannie?!”
Jeonghan stood there, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of his eyes, his face partially hidden behind a mask but unmistakable to her.
She barely had time to process it before a squeal of delight escaped her lips, and without thinking, she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.
Jeonghan chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around her just as tightly. “You really didn’t notice me until now?” he teased, his voice filled with amusement.
Luna only buried her face into his chest, her heart pounding with a mixture of surprise and overwhelming happiness. “I— how are you—?” she stammered, her voice muffled against him.
He pulled his mask down slightly, just enough to press a soft kiss to the temple of her head, his hand coming up to cradle the back of her neck gently. “Just wanted to make sure you guys are alright,” he whispered, laughing softly against her hair.
The rest of the members, still watching with wide smiles, couldn’t help but laugh at her delayed reaction.
“We are alright by the way. Thank you for asking!” Seungkwan said sarcastically considering all Jeonghan’s focus was on Luna.
“Seriously, no one’s that used to someone’s voice,” Hoshi added, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
Luna pulled back just enough to look up at Jeonghan, still holding onto him as her laughter bubbled out. She swatted at his chest playfully. “You sneak!”
Jeonghan grinned down at her, his arms not letting her go just yet. “You should know by now I love surprising you.”
And despite the chaos of the moment, despite the earlier worry about the fire, Luna couldn’t stop smiling. Being in his arms, surrounded by her members, with the concert still buzzing around them— it was perfect.
Even in the most unexpected of circumstances, with a fire delay and a surprise visit, everything felt right.
Jeonghan stayed with them for what felt like the briefest twenty minutes of Luna’s life, though time itself seemed to stretch and bend while he was by her side.
From the moment he appeared behind her, she felt his presence like an anchor, grounding her amidst the bustle of their delayed concert.
Jeonghan hadn’t let go of her once, keeping her close, his hands never straying far from her skin. The warmth of his touch lingered in every kiss he pressed— soft and tender against her forehead, her temple, the nook of her neck, the curve of her cheek, and even the subtle brush of his lips against her own when the others weren’t watching too closely.
His affection was quiet but ever-present, each kiss a reminder of how much they had missed each other.
It felt like he was memorizing her in those fleeting moments as if they were sneaking time in their usual bubble despite the chaos around them.
When his lips found the back of her hand, her engagement ring cool beneath his touch, Luna’s heart swelled. He had always been tactile with her, but tonight, it felt like every kiss, every touch held extra weight. Each one was a silent acknowledgment of everything they had been through together— of how much they meant to one another, of how much he wished he could be with her on that stage.
The rest of the members let them have their quiet reunion without interruption. They continued chatting with Jeonghan, catching up on things, but they gave the couple their space. Despite being surrounded by people, the world felt small and intimate, just for them.
But twenty minutes was never enough.
Eventually, the crew came back to inform them that everything was under control, and the stage had been cleared. The fire was contained and minor— no one had been hurt, and nothing had escalated.
The relief that washed over Luna was palpable, though it was bittersweet because it meant Jeonghan would have to go back to his seat.
She hadn’t wanted to let him go, but as she watched him flash her a reassuring smile, she knew he would be watching, cheering her on just like before. He pressed one final kiss on her lips, his hand lingering on hers for a brief moment before he slipped out of the room.
The twenty-minute delay had passed like a blink, and though they were slightly behind schedule, none of the members seemed to care. They were just grateful that the situation hadn’t spiraled into something worse.
Once they were cleared to go, the members gathered themselves, adjusting their outfits and shaking off any lingering tension.
The fire was a hiccup, but the show had to go on.
And it did— seamlessly.
As they returned to the stage, the energy from the fans was as vibrant as ever. Jeonghan had taken his seat again, watching from his place in the audience, and Luna couldn’t help but glance in his direction, feeling that familiar spark knowing he was there, watching her. She felt renewed, the anxiety from earlier gone as they launched into their next set.
Song after song, they poured everything they had into their performances. The members danced and sang with such passion, interacting with the fans and throwing themselves into their signature antics.
It wasn’t a SEVENTEEN show without a few hilarious, chaotic moments, and despite the earlier scare, they didn’t hold back. The fans were relieved that everything had been handled, roared with approval, feeding off the energy the group gave.
Of course, there were jokes about the fire.
Some of the members couldn’t resist cracking a few light-hearted comments, saying the fire had only started because their performances were just that hot. Seungkwan, Hoshi, and even Dokyeom threw in their quips, teasing that the stage couldn’t handle their intensity, eliciting more laughter from the crowd.
The fans ate it up, cheering and laughing as the members played off the unexpected situation with ease.
And in the middle of it all, Luna found herself back in her element. The slight delay faded into the background as the show flowed effortlessly from one set to the next. She moved with the music, her voice blending with the others, her body moving in sync with the choreography she knew so well.
Every now and then, she’d sneak another glance toward Jeonghan, catching his gaze even from afar, feeling that unspoken connection between them.
As the night wore on, the setlist began to wind down. They’d gone from high-energy songs to their slower, more emotional tracks, each moment imbued with meaning. The atmosphere in the arena shifted as the fans realized they were nearing the end of the show.
Before they knew it, they were standing on the stage, looking out at the sea of fans, about to perform their final song for the night. Luna’s chest tightened with emotion, a mix of pride and awe at what they had accomplished.
The first night of their world tour was coming to a close, and it had been everything they’d hoped for— despite the unexpected bumps along the way.
As the final notes played, Luna felt the bittersweetness of the moment sink in.
The first day of their tour was over.
But it was only the beginning.
The moment Luna stepped behind the stage, the roar of the crowd still echoed in her ears, but the rush of adrenaline hadn’t yet settled. It thrummed beneath her skin, buzzing like static as their crew and staff cheered loudly, creating a vibrant wall of sound that filled the backstage area.
Members of the team, the staff, and the crew clapped for them, congratulating them on a successful opening night, their faces beaming with pride. Several cameras followed their every move, capturing the behind-the-scenes footage that would later be used for DVDs and special releases for the fans, a memory to be immortalized.
Hoshi and Mingyu were already talking to one of the cameras, playfully waving and making exaggerated poses, their faces red from exertion but their spirits sky-high. The others mingled around, some talking to the crew, others exchanging breathless laughs as they tried to steady their breathing after the intense finale.
But Luna’s mind wasn’t on the cameras, the chaos of the crew, or the noise swirling around them. Her eyes, sharp and singular in their focus, found him immediately.
Jeonghan was standing just beyond the cluster of people, waiting for them— and more specifically, waiting for her.
He had removed his mask, revealing the full brilliance of his smile, and her heart fluttered at the sight. It was the same smile that had always undone her. The same smile that now, five years into their relationship and officially out in the open, still made her feel like she was falling in love all over again.
Luna’s body reacted before her mind fully registered the thought, and before she knew it, she was running. Bolting, really— her legs carrying her with the kind of speed she reserved for the stage, for the most high-energy moments of a performance.
But this? This was pure, uncontainable emotion.
The excitement of seeing him again, of having him waiting for her so openly, so proudly, after everything they’d been through.
She was running toward her home.
And the fans in the nearby seats could see it all.
The backstage area was still partially exposed to the arena, especially the seats that stretched upward, giving some fans a perfect vantage point. As Luna dashed across the back, the fans who could see her immediately erupted into cheers, their voices rising in a frenzy.
Pandemonium broke out as the realization hit that she was running straight into Jeonghan’s arms. The fans screamed, some pulling out their phones, others clutching their chests as they watched the scene unfold like something out of a drama. The air itself seemed to vibrate with the collective gasp of thousands witnessing the moment.
Jeonghan, waiting with that same easy smile, braced himself just as Luna crashed into him. His arms wrapped around her waist with ease, and with a gentle laugh, he lifted her off the ground, spinning her around effortlessly. Luna’s giggle was light and carefree, the kind of sound that made everything else melt away.
It was just him.
Just her.
Just them.
Luna and Jeonghan.
Jeonghan and Luna.
The moment her feet touched the ground, Luna’s hands came up instinctively, cupping his face as if grounding herself in the reality of his presence. She felt the familiar warmth of his skin beneath her palms, the softness of his hair brushing against her fingers, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
But Jeonghan, always one step ahead, beat her to it. He leaned down, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers.
The kiss was gentle, unhurried, filled with the quiet certainty of their love.
Despite the madness surrounding them— the cameras, the crew, the fans, and even the members throwing cheeky glances and comments their way— none of it mattered.
In that moment, it was only the two of them.
Every kiss still felt like it held new meaning— like they were discovering parts of each other they hadn’t yet explored, even after all this time.
The fans were screaming louder now, their cheers mixing with the laughter of their members, who were already teasing them for being so openly affectionate. “Scandalous!” Hoshi's voice echoed in the distance, followed by Dino’s exaggerated gasp, and the others quickly joined in with their own jokes. Seungcheol shook his head, a playful smirk pulling at his lips as he tried to keep the group in line.
But neither Luna nor Jeonghan cared.
They had stopped caring about the opinions of others the moment their relationship became public.
After years of hiding, of sneaking around, and stealing moments where they could, this openness felt like freedom.
No more disguises.
No more secrets.
Just them, unashamedly in love in front of everyone who cared to watch.
Jeonghan pulled away slightly, his lips brushing against her forehead, then her temple, as if sealing the moment with small, lingering kisses. Luna’s heart swelled in her chest, a smile tugging at her lips as she rested her head against his chest for a brief second, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her cheek.
Around them, the world buzzed with excitement, but in his arms, it felt like peace. The cameras kept rolling, capturing every second of the moment, and the fans continued to scream, but none of it mattered.
It was just the two of them, lost in each other, in a love that had weathered time, distance, and now, the scrutiny of the world.
The members laughed louder at the display, throwing more jokes in their direction, but Luna and Jeonghan simply smiled at one another, content in the knowledge that they no longer had anything to hide.
This was their world now, and they were living it fully, unapologetically.
Luna’s bubble of peace with Jeonghan was suddenly burst when Seungkwan’s voice cut through the noise of the backstage area, dripping with exaggerated sarcasm and mock disgust. “We get it, you two love each other, knock it off!”
Jeonghan’s deep, melodic laugh rang out instantly, and Luna couldn’t help but join in, feeling the warmth of their private moment turning into something shared, something lighthearted. The laughter of their teammates blended into the air, creating a symphony of joy around them.
Jeonghan gently parted from her, his hand grazing hers one last time before he turned, arms wide, playfully chasing after Seungkwan with a mischievous grin.
“Seungkwanie,” Jeonghan cooed dramatically, dragging out his name in a sing-song voice, his playful nature in full force.
Seungkwan’s eyes widened as he pretended to scramble away, but it was too late. Jeonghan easily caught up with him, enveloping him in an exaggerated bear hug, both of them stumbling as Jeonghan swayed them from side to side like a father holding a child. Seungkwan groaned in mock suffering but couldn’t stop the smile breaking across his face.
“Why am I always the target of your love?” Seungkwan whined, though his arms returned the hug before half-heartedly trying to push Jeonghan away. “Can’t you just keep your affection for noona?”
“Don’t act like you didn’t dedicate a whole essay for me on Weverse on my birthday,” Jeonghan grinned and ruffled Seungkwan’s hair before finally releasing him, earning a playful shove in return from Seungkwan who pouted, “Shut it.”
“I have so much love to give, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan replied, still laughing.
As the playful banter continued, the group naturally gravitated toward the corridor that led back to their designated waiting room. Conversations and laughter littered the halls, filling the air as they walked, their energy still high from the concert.
It felt like any other day like Jeonghan had never been gone at all, like they hadn’t just gone weeks without his presence on stage or in their daily lives.
Luna found herself walking a few steps behind the group, watching with a smile that spread wide across her face.
It was surreal— Jeonghan, back with them, laughing and joking like no time had passed. For a brief moment, she let herself forget the reality of his military service, letting herself imagine that everything was normal again.
That he had never left and that he would be with them for the rest of the tour.
But as happy as she was to have him back, even if just for tonight, a pang of sadness tugged at her heart.
It wasn’t quite complete. Not without Jun.
She wished he were here with them, completing their chaotic group and filling the room with his quiet but steady presence. With Jeonghan and Jun both gone, it was like a piece of their family was missing. She sighed softly, letting the feeling pass as she reminded herself that Jun would be back soon, too.
It was only a matter of time.
By the time they reached their waiting room, the atmosphere was buzzing with the same energy they carried off the stage.
The room was filled with the familiar sounds of SEVENTEEN— playful banter, teasing remarks, and laughter that echoed off the walls. They were still riding the high of the successful opening night, adrenaline pumping as they began to peel off their performance outfits and transition into their more comfortable clothes.
Some of the members were already seated, pulling off stage shoes with tired groans of relief while others started removing their makeup, faces still flushed from the heat of the stage. The air was thick exhaustion but it was home.
It was the usual post-concert chaos— everyone talking over each other, recounting moments from the show, poking fun at any small mistakes they made during their sets.
Hoshi was standing in front of the mirror, dramatically wiping off his makeup with a makeup wipe. “The energy was insane. I can go another round— I was born for this, you know?” he declared, his voice full of mock drama, earning a round of eye rolls and amused chuckles from the members who are used to Hoshi’s energy.
Luna couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped her as she leaned back into her chair, watching the usual antics unfold around her. Even after years together, the energy in the room was always electric post-concert.
No matter how tired they were, there was something about that post-show buzz that brought out the best— and the most ridiculous— parts of them.
Her gaze drifted to Jeonghan, who was now sitting on the arm of one of the couches, his hair slightly tousled from their earlier reunion. He was watching the members with a soft smile on his face, occasionally throwing in a comment here and there, but mostly content to just soak in the atmosphere.
He caught her looking and flashed her a wink, and her heart did a little flip. She smiled back, warmth flooding her chest. Moments like this were what she cherished most— the simplicity of being together, the feeling of family, of belonging.
The noise around her continued, a comforting, chaotic background to her thoughts as she settled back, letting herself enjoy the moment.
This was what she loved— being surrounded by people she cared about, performing with them, and knowing that despite everything, they would always find their way back to each other.
As she sat there, letting the laughter wash over her, she couldn’t help but feel grateful. Grateful for her members, for their fans, and for moments like this— where everything felt perfect, even if it was just for a little while.
Luna leaned back in her chair, sighing softly with contentment. The concert had gone well, their first night was a success, and even with the unexpected fire, they’d managed to pull through together.
Unbeknownst to her, Jeonghan’s gaze had been fixed on her for several moments now, watching her quietly from his seat. He had a way of seeing her, really seeing her, even when she was lost in her own thoughts. His heart warmed at the sight of her— a mix of strength and softness, glowing in the afterglow of their performance.
Without a word, Jeonghan stood up from his spot, his movements so smooth and silent that no one noticed as he crossed the room toward her. He gently caressed her arm, his touch soft and familiar.
Luna glanced up at him, her heart skipping a beat at the sudden closeness. There were no questions in her eyes, just trust. Without needing to say anything, she let him guide her to a more secluded corner of the room, away from the others, away from the bustling noise of post-concert excitement.
Jeonghan turned toward her, a soft smile lighting up his face as he gazed down at her. “Hey,” he said, his voice a warm melody that sent a shiver down her spine.
“Hi,” Luna smiled back, her voice soft, and without hesitation, their hands found each other, fingers naturally intertwining.
The world around them faded, and it was just the two of them again, wrapped in their bubble of comfort and affection.
Jeonghan’s hand rose to her face, gently brushing a few strands of hair away. His fingers lightly traced her cheek as his thumb caressed her skin, his touch tender and careful, as if she were something delicate.
“You did such a good job earlier,” he cooed, his voice low and soothing, the tone that always made her knees feel weak. His fingers continued to brush over her cheek, and then, slowly, he leaned in, pressing soft kisses to the back of her hand, one after the other. “Did you enjoy it?” he asked, his lips now grazing the tips of her fingers, sending little jolts of warmth through her.
Luna felt her breath hitch slightly, the wall behind her suddenly a blessing as it was the only thing keeping her steady.
Jeonghan’s soft, gentle tone— this was her weakness and he knew this. She tried to compose herself, but the way he doted on her, the way he made her feel like she was the center of his universe, made it difficult to remain standing.
“I loved it,” Luna finally managed, her voice a little breathless, eyes locked on his.
Jeonghan chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he continued his gentle teasing. “You were amazing out there. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised— you always are.” His thumb brushed against her lower lip, and her heart fluttered in response.
Luna’s lips parted slightly at his touch, her usual assertive demeanor slipping away in the face of his gentle cooing. “Stop, you’re making me blush,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Blushing suits you,” Jeonghan teased, leaning down slightly until his forehead nearly touched hers. His lips ghosted over the tip of her nose as he continued to murmur, “I missed seeing you like this, Nana-ya.”
Luna’s cheeks burned with warmth, and she let out a soft laugh, tilting her head back against the wall. “You’re the only reason why I am like this.”
“Good,” he grinned, clearly pleased with himself. His thumb brushed her cheek again, his other hand lifting her left hand to his lips once more. He kissed each of her fingers, his lips lingering a bit longer this time, his gaze never leaving hers.
She could feel the butterflies swirling in her stomach, her mind spinning under his gaze.
Then, just as naturally as ever, Jeonghan reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. It was sleek, the kind that made Luna’s breath catch in her throat. Without a word, he placed it in her hand, his expression soft but serious.
Luna stared at the box for a moment, her heart racing. She pouted up at him, curiosity and a hint of confusion in her eyes. “What is this?” she asked, her voice tinged with wonder.
Jeonghan’s smile softened, his eyes growing tender as he spoke. “I’ll be watching the show again tomorrow but you know I won’t be able to watch every single one, right? I won’t be able to travel outside the country either,” he began, his voice gentle, knowing how sensitive this topic was for her.
Luna’s heart clenched at his words. She knew this reality all too well. He wouldn’t always be with them, with her, during the tour. It was a thought that had lingered in the back of her mind all night.
As she opened the box, her breath caught again. Inside was a delicate gold band bracelet. Simple, elegant, and timeless— just like him. Luna took it out carefully, holding it in her palm, and that’s when she noticed the engraving.
Her heart swelled as she read the words etched into the gold:
Breathe. It’s just you and me. Nothing else.
Jeonghan’s forehead was suddenly pressed against hers, their shared ritual grounding her, just like it always had. He took the bracelet from her hand, slipping it around her left wrist, fastening it carefully as though it were the most precious thing in the world. “This is so you won’t forget our words to each other,” he whispered.
Luna’s eyes filled with tears, and she looked up at him, her lips trembling into a pout. “Hannie…” she murmured, her voice barely audible.
“Don’t cry,” Jeonghan cooed softly, pulling back just enough to press a tender kiss to her forehead. His lips lingered there before he pulled away and lifted the sleeve of his own jacket. “Look,” he said, showing her his own matching bracelet. “We match.”
Luna sniffled and pushed at his chest playfully, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You’re always the reason for my tears, you know that right?” she huffed, though her smile betrayed her true feelings.
Jeonghan chuckled, his laugh low and rich. “I know,” he teased, “You just love me so much.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress the smile. “When did you even have the time to do this?” she asked, glancing down at the bracelet again, admiring the way the light reflected off the gold.
Jeonghan’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he winked at her. “I have all the time in the world when it comes to you.”
Luna let out a scoff of disbelief, a laugh escaping her lips. “You’ve gotten cheesier.”
Jeonghan smirked, his retort quick and cool. “Only for you, pretty girl.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a playful smile as she lightly tapped his chest. “You know, I used to think you were all serious and mysterious,” she teased, her voice light and full of amusement. “Turns out, you’re just a huge softie.”
Jeonghan chuckled, his arms winding back around her waist, pulling her closer as he leaned down. “A softie? Is that what I am?” His voice was low, teasing, with that familiar silky tone that always sent a rush of warmth through her. “Well, I’m only like this because I have you to be soft for.”
Luna felt her cheeks heat up again, but she wasn’t about to let him win that easily. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she muttered, trying to sound nonchalant, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.
Jeonghan leaned in even closer, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered, “And you’re lucky I can’t resist you.” He pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, his eyes sparkling with affection. “I mean, look at you,” he continued, his voice soft and tender now. “How could I not be completely wrapped around your finger? You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”
Luna’s heart fluttered at his words, the sincerity in his tone making her pulse quicken. She tried to compose herself, but it was impossible with the way he was looking at her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“I think I have some idea,” she replied, her voice softening as she met his gaze head-on.
Jeonghan laughed, that light, airy sound that always made her chest feel lighter. “You think?” he teased, brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “You know you’re everything to me, right?”
Luna’s breath caught at the sudden tenderness in his words. She could feel her heart swelling in her chest, the emotion almost overwhelming. “Han…” she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.
He gently cupped her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek in the softest of touches. “No, really,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t say it enough, but you’re my everything, Jiyeon. No matter where I am, or what’s going on, you’re always on my mind.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, and finally, her lips. It was soft, gentle, full of love and warmth. “You make everything better.”
Luna closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of his lips on hers, the warmth of his touch, the security of his presence. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” she murmured when they pulled apart. Her voice was quiet, but filled with so much emotion it nearly cracked. “Especially now… with everything going on.”
Jeonghan nodded, understanding. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, lingering there for a moment. “I know it’s been hard. But I promise you, we’re going to get through it. Even if I can’t be with you every step of the way, I’m still with you.” He took her hand again, lifting it to his lips and kissing her knuckles one by one. “Always.”
Luna’s heart swelled, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, though she blinked them away. “You’re too good to me,” she whispered, her voice shaky but full of love.
Jeonghan smiled, his eyes soft as he gazed at her. “I just want to take care of you, that’s all.” He kissed the inside of her wrist, then the bracelet, before looking back up at her. “And I will. Even if I’m not physically there, I’ll always be with you. This…” He gestured to the bracelet, then to his matching one. “This is just a reminder. You and me. Nothing else.”
“Just us. Nothing else.” Luna stared at him, her heart so full she thought it might burst. She couldn’t hold back anymore— couldn’t stop the overwhelming wave of love that washed over her. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug, burying her face in his chest. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his shirt. “So much.”
Jeonghan’s arms wrapped around her in return, his embrace warm and steady, his lips pressing into her hair. “I love you too, my pretty moon,” he murmured against her, his voice soft and filled with emotion. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look down at her, his hand cupping her face again. “More than anything.”
Their eyes locked, and for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped spinning, leaving just the two of them in their little bubble of love and warmth. Jeonghan leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to her lips, slow and full of meaning. When they finally pulled away, Luna couldn’t help the small, content smile that spread across her face.
Jeonghan grinned, his thumb brushing her cheek again. “You’re mine, you know that?” he teased, though there was a soft sincerity behind his words.
Luna laughed softly, her fingers tightening around his. “I’ve always been yours.”
Jeonghan’s eyes sparkled with affection, and he leaned down to kiss her one more time, a smile still on his lips. “And I’ll always be yours.”
He held Luna’s hands tighter, his gaze steady and full of love. “When I finish my service,” he whispered, his voice soft but resolute, “I’m going to marry you. No more waiting, no more delays. I promise.”
Luna’s breath caught in her throat, her heart swelling at his words. She smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, and whispered back, “I’ll be waiting, Hannie. Always.”
At that moment, it was just the two of them again.
Just like Luna’s first monthly evaluation as a trainee… it was just them.
Wrapped up in their little world, their bubble, where nothing else mattered.
It felt as if time had stopped, and for that brief space in time, there was no concert, no cameras, no members.
Luna and Jeonghan.
Jeonghan and Luna.
It’s always been the two of them together.
Just them, as it had always been, and as it always would be.
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jenomi · 5 months ago
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selfless
this is totally something jaemin would do… play on words from his narcissism exhibition
✧・゚: *✧*:・゚✧
"where are we going?" you ask for the millionth time. your boyfriend jaemin had told you to be ready to leave in an hour and to dress in something cute, but he wouldn't reveal anything else.
"just get in the car" he says with a hint of a smile on his face as he opens the car door for you. you side-eye him as you get into the car.
you felt antsy as jaemin drives to the secret location. you wouldn't say you're one for surprises, but jaemin has always been so good at them. you're genuinely surprised when jaemin turns the corner to his exhibition site.
"what are we doing here?" "i need to check something really quick."
you both get out of the car and jaemin holds open the door for you. you walk deeper into the building you're all too familiar with. you came with jaemin to watch his Narcissism exhibition come to life and helped him with the set up and detailing while he was abroad.
as you walk deeper into the building, you come across a different sign than the one you saw every time before.
SELFLESS my love for you is endless
you stop in your tracks as jaemin whispers, "surprise" as he kisses the side of your head.
"what's this?" you look up at your boyfriend who smiles at you as he hands you an exhibition handset. he grabs your hand as he guides you further into the new exhibition.
you gasp in shock and adoration as you see the room filled with pictures of you through jaemins eyes. there's pictures of everything, the small and big moments from your relationship.
"i- i don't know what to say. this is…amazing" you gesture towards the room as you slowly take in the room. he shyly smiles in return as he gently guides you towards the photos for a closer look.
the first photo you approach is a photo of you working on the couch with lucy, luke, and luna cuddled up against you in multiple positions.
you enter the number of the photo and press play on the exhibition handset:
all my babies in one photo. as much as i love the lululu cuddles for myself, i love that they want to cuddle with you more because that means they love you as much as i do. you are also working so hard in this photo, one of the many things i love about you. thank you for being the best mother to our babies - but please don't forget to give me cuddles too
you laugh lightly as you move on to the next. it was a photo from one of your many picnic dates next to han river. your hair is caught in the wind and you're laughing at something jaemin said as you reach for the camera.
every time i look at this picture, i fall in love with you all over again. i am the luckiest man in the world to be able to call myself your boyfriend. i love when you laugh, it brightens all my days. i'm so happy to have captured this photo of you, showing your carefree spirit and smile forever
you can hear the sincerity in jaemin's voice in the audio, making you tear up. you squeeze his hand as you walk hand-in-hand to the next photo.
it immediately makes you laugh. it's a photo from your first meeting with jisung, jeno, and donghyuck and you're trying to teach jisung how to cook. jisung is obviously stressed as the other members are laughing in the background, but you have a supportive hand on jisung's shoulder as you walk him through the recipe.
i don't know why we tried to save our helpless son jisung, but thank you for being so kind and loving towards all my members. as i watched you try to help jisung at his greatest weakness, it was the first time i realized how much i loved you and how i could never let you go. do you remember when i first told you i love you?
"yes" you answer aloud to jaemin standing next to you, "i'll never forget it"
jaemin smiles as he pulls you closer to his side, "i love you"
you walk hip to hip towards the next photo. it's a photo of you and jaemin in japan at night. you and jaemin are the only clear things in the photo as everything around you is a blur of heads and lights. you're looking at each other with eyes full of love, and a small hint of a smile on both of your lips.
this photo is exactly how i see the world with you by my side. nothing else matters, as long as you're with me and happy. this photo was hard to edit, but i'm proud of the way it turned out. it will always just be you and me, when things come between us, i'll fight through them to get back to you.
you tear up again as you wrap your arms around jaemin's waist. if you could fuse yourself to your boyfriend, you would so you would never have to leave his side.
as you look at each photo and listen to jaemins recording explaining each photo, he would just watch you. watch your eyes as you examine a photo and notice the details he worked so hard to highlight and incorporate. watch you as you listen to his heartfelt words recalling his memories with you. watch you as you smile and/or cry at each photo and word he says. you were his living, breathing exhibition that he could marvel at everyday. luckily, he does.
and with each photo you look at, your heart grows fuller and fuller with your love for jaemin. it becomes so overwhelming, that you can't help but let a few tears drop. there's so many photos, photos of you asleep peacefully in bed, more photos of you with his members doing various things, a photo of you and his mom, and more pictures of you and jaemin.
in the center of the room, there's a stand with a black cloth draped over it. jaemin told you it was the grand finale of the exhibit. you lift the cloth to find a small note in jaemin's handwriting: "for you, i become selfless"
you turn around to share your love and appreciation for jaemin, but as soon as you do, you watch him drop to one knee as he opens a small felt box.
"y/n, i love you with all my heart, it hurts. i want to love you for the rest of my life and make more memories with you and capture them with my camera. i want this to be the first exhibition of many. will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"
"yes" you exclaim quickly. you were never going to say no. you loved jaemin with your whole heart, and this exhibition and the amount of time and effort he must've put into this made you love him more. how could you not?
jaemin puts the ring on your finger (it fits perfectly because, of course, jaemin measured all your favorite rings) before picking you up and spinning you around as you laugh and cry. when he sets you down, you give him a long kiss.
the moment was perfect. you and jaemin in the middle of a room, happy and in love surrounded by photos of your love for each other. this would be an image you'd keep in your heart for the rest of your life. 🤍
(also you leave the exhibition with a photo book, similar to the merch sold at narcissism, but it’s just photos related to you and jaemin)
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