#me when like half the heroes in btd6

[stardust-and-snails]

they regress bc i think theyre cool so legally i have to hc them into being similar to me.

love agere hcs based on nothing. they regress because i said so.

[innestahtinen]

Letterboxd doesn't have the cinematic masterpiece Knievel's Quest: Bigfoot (2020) so I'll put my running thoughts here.

Note: all the stuff in apostrophes are direct quotes, taken from the video transcript.

- saying that 'my friends all call me Squatchie' doesn't feel like a compliment by any stretch

- the 'biggest wood carving of Bigfoot' looks like a man covered in feathers or leaves, my closest cultural reference is either Rose Matafeo yelling Stella on Taskmaster, or the Cripple MOAB upgrade for Sniper Monkeys in btd6

- 'if you refer to Dr Ivan T Sanderson's book The Abominable Snowman: Legend Comes to Life and as well as John Green's work or any of the four horsemen' let me consult my textbook; The Abominable Snowman by Dr R.A. Montgomery, its on my shelf right next to Director H.I. Larry's guides on how to be spies.

- one of the people they idolise is a Mr Tom Slick, who allegedly went to the Himalayas and found some Yeti feces, their hero is someone who found some shit on a mountain and said, 'yeah, that's from a fucking yeti' At this point, I'm 7 minutes into this 92 minute doco.

- 'There is no registry of DNA for the Sasquatch creature, from an ignorant race of science and academics' Science is full of it and you can't trust it, listen to me, and Evel Knievel's son, and four randos who wrote books about big monkeys, and our hero who scooped up shit.

- 'The right habitat for Bigfoot? I have no clue. I've heard they've been cited [sic] in a lot of places but mostly the Northwest.' Down here in Australia we have our own bigfoot thing, called a Yowie. the first picture on Google, when I looked it up to see if I was making something up, has a big furry humanoid holding a kangaroo by the tail. You might know that down here we've got the best climate for thick-furred animals, big deserts, water, and rainforest. I don't really have a point here, it just what comes to mind.

- the guy I just quoted previously wants to find a Bigfoot, 'I hope it's a female 'cause it might only last for two minutes. And then I could have a half a bigfoot, a half - nevermind'

- I can't tell any of these people apart, but one of them is crediting the creation of Mountains and Valleys to bigfoot

- I've heard it from some video that the best thing to do with documentaries like this is to mute them and admire the scenery, might have been QuintonReviews, might have been Diamondbolt, I don't remember

- there's been like 10 minutes with not much to talk about or make fun of or anything, because they went to a bookshop and these two guys are talking about making maps, which is neat, and aging trees to try and find where the original footage was shot.

- ' A: "I wanna build a treehouse and live here and just be out here" B: "Well that tactic might work." ' of course it might, if you want to see birds without them seeing you, you might go behind a hide, can't really go above them because they might look up, they're birds, I don't know if there's many stories of bigfoot climbing trees.

- there's a guy who was apparently a park ranger who had an encounter with a sasquatch, and he had a camera, but he'd used all his film already taking pictures of illegal logging, oh what a shame, if only if only. He's full of it.

- so the guy, who I think is Evel Kinievels son, said 'oh, it could be aliens' and the guy at the museum said 'it's possible' don't bring aliens into your shitty bigfoot theories, I'm not doing it again this year (earlier in the year, I watched another bad documentary called 'The Bigfoot Alien Connection Revealed' which was much easier to find humor in because it was someone theorising, and then standing in a shed for 10 minutes. It was terrible, I recommend it)

- so in the museum they've got loads of footprint casts, and 'Now the guy that found all these originally was a hoaxer', so I've got to wonder, Why do you believe these?

- as is the norm, all the descriptions are different, with one guy telling about how he saw Bigfoot; a) at like 6 in the morning, and b) in 2005, walking along with arms perpendicular but turned in. I asked for a hand with a cultural reference so that you might know what I meant, and my brother suggested Pennywise, before he started to dance, and I thought of Lonely Island's The Creep.

- another "witness" said that he knew it was a bigfoot, not a bear, because it had an ass.

- consistency isn't their strong suit, said earlier about how the best place is the Northwest, up to Alaska, a guy now is saying the best place is Texas, if you want to hear the {Bigfoot Plural, Bigfoots, Bigfeet} call. Just a coincidence that Texas is probably warmer than Oregon, Montana, Washington, whatever, and so other Bigfoot hunters can go there at night and not feel as cold.

- I know you're a stuntman, but I don't care, I'm watching this for the stupid bigfoot explanations, not history of you jumping things

- so for you to catch a bigfoot, you'd probably want to put it in a cage like in Atlantis: The Lost Empire, and you couldn't take it out by truck, because other ones might try and help it escape, so you'd want to airlift it out.. oh wait, that's the ending of Cryptid Island from Poptropica. Even if you did get it in, it'd just escape like Stoeffel the Honey Badger

- 'You're telling me that two broke cowboys from Yakima Washington drove all the way down here, they went 25 miles up this rugged canyon to fake a monkey suit?' Yeah, so that you know that noone would be in the background. You go out into the woods randomly, you might, you go 25 miles away, where there aren't any roads yet, and you won't.

- 'we have 10 zillion things in the ocean we'll never see' I hope there's a Kraken, or just megafauna in general. Anything from Lego Atlantis.

- and for the last 20 minutes, they'll finally go camping, hoping to see something, will they? Of course not.

- the guy I think is Knievel's son said something about how he's had a bunch of spooky and scary experiences around Washington State, and to enhance that for the audience, they put an overlay of a person in a dark hood, OooOOoh, and a jumpscare from a game, of a pale figure with blood on it, spoOOoky.

- and they're doing exactly what I was hoping, they've left their camp slightly out of frame, and are yelling in a forest.

- the one thing I'll give them credit for is the video cameras they have out in the woods, apparently they've been there for 8 years, filming 24/7, and it's collecting videos and clips that could be used for conservation and monitoring of animals, according to them they've even seen a Humbolt Marten, a weasel type thing that was apparently extinct, look them up, they're kinda cute.

- I give it 2/5 stars; the stuff about maps and tree aging was interesting, love Bigfoot, and the work with their wildlife cameras is admirable, but it was boring the rest of the time.

Thank you, this has been Something Something with Innes Tahtinen.