#me when I project my own feelings and fears onto Amy Rose

[mstormcloud]

If I knew how to write I would write about Amy and the fear that even if your friends say they forgive you for their mistakes they may actually still be bothered by it. And the simultaneous fear of accidnetly hurting a friend again and the want to avoid / ran away to avoid hurting them VS the fear that they wouldn’t care enough about you to ever reach out again so you Need to be the one to reach out or you’ll just be alone.

Also how Sonic is who connects her to the rest of her friends other than maybe Cream and Big. How if her and Sonic stopped being friends she’d likely lose all her other friendships too since people would choose Sonic over her (in her eyes.)

(Side note I think that’s also one aspect of why Metamy is interesting to me. Metal would choose Amy over Sonic. Metal Hates Sonic. Metal could be one of the only people Amy would trust to still spend time with her if Sonic stopped liking her.)

I think Amy can be afraid of being left behind and sensitive to rejection and also have way too much trouble trusting that her friends Actually like spending time with her.

[senadimell]

DW: The Monster in the Closet

I realized while looking at a Girl in the Fireplace analysis that when Moffat involves a child in an episode, he chooses a particular set of tropes. It’s no secret he has favorite types of stories; this one I’ll call “The Monster in the Closet.” Moffat came onto Doctor Who writing Monster in the Closet stories; in fact, take a look at his first 6 stories: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, the Girl in the Fireplace, Blink, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, The Eleventh Hour, and The Beast Below. With the exception of Blink, they all fall into this category. Why? More on that below, after we look at what the episodes share.

I’m including Night Terrors in this analysis because it’s so fitting: it’s literally about a monster and a closet. It’s actually written by Gatiss, but copies many of the same tropes and subverts the ending. I’m not including Listen, because I honestly don’t remember it well enough to analyze and don’t care for a re-watch just yet. Plus, I think Moffat was trying to branch out by that point.

Here’s what’s in a standard Moffat Monster in the Closet episode. 

The Child

Fake Faces

Repetition is Creepy

The Doctor’s Reputation

The Bad Guy isn’t evil, just fulfilling its nature

The child (or perceived child) is isolated from the adults in their life who should protect them but don’t realize the monsters are real. The Doctor steps in to validate them and solve figure out how to tackle their monster, who is real.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Nancy (Jamie and the kids Nancy looks after are also contestants here.)

The Girl in the Fireplace: Reinette

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: Cal

The Eleventh Hour: Amelia Pond

The Beast Below: Mandy (Timmy is also a contestant)

Night Terrors: George

Fake faces indicate something uncanny is occurring. The two-faced nature of the monsters suggests that the monster is not what we think it is.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances

The Girl in the Fireplace

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead

The Beast Below: (Liz 10 also has a mask and initially comes off as sinister, and is revealed to be part of the problem by choosing ignorance)

This is a bit of a stretch, but here’s the face-changing Prisoner Zero from the Eleventh Hour: 

It’s worth noting that the Doctor had his own face change in this episode, so we’re waiting to see if he’s the genuine article or if he’s more like the monsters. 

Night Terrors. Doesn’t get creepier than this.

Repetition is creepy. This doesn’t really serve a narrative purpose beyond being creepy, other than perhaps to indicate the monster has a goal that we do not understand. When we do, we can solve the problem. This kind of reminds me of when a kid is trying to get their parent’s attention, but they’re on the phone and don’t really hear.  I find that just like fake faces, the more often this is used, the more banal I find it. 

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Creepiest thing ever

The Girl in the Fireplace: What is that mysterious ticking noise?

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: (so much repetition here that any episode after it that uses repetition feels like overkill to me)

The Eleventh Hour:

The Beast Below does something a little different. It goes for a creepy nursery rhyme instead: 

GIRL: A horse and a man, above, below. One has a plan, but both must go. Mile after mile, above, beneath. One has a smile, and one has teeth. GIRL: Though the man above might say hello, expect no love from the beast below.

Night Terrors:

DOCTOR: George! George, what's going on? Are you doing it? ALEX: What's happening? GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. ALEX: Help me, Doctor! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! (The Doctor is dragged back into the cupboard.) GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. (Alex is dragged into the cupboard.) ALEX: No! (And the door slams shut. Peace reigns again.)

Line about Doctor’s reputation scaring off the bad guys: The Doctor acts as a parental figure, but instead of dismissing the childish fear of the monsters, he validates and vanquishes. He fulfills a parental role, though, and just as parents scare away monsters by virtue of being an adult, the Doctor scares away monsters just by being the Doctor. 

*The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Saving this one for last. 

The Girl in the Fireplace: 

DOCTOR: Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster? YOUNG REINETTE: What do monsters have nightmares about? DOCTOR: Me!

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead:

VASTA NERADA: These are our forests. They are our meat. DOCTOR: Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up. (The Vasta Nerada desists and gives him a day to evacuate the library)

The Eleventh Hour:

DOCTOR: Okay. One more. Just one. Is this world protected? Because you're not the first lot to come here. Oh, there have been so many. (The projection shows the Daleks et al.) DOCTOR: And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them? (A run through of all the previous Doctors, then this Doctor steps through the projection with a jacket and bow tie.) DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run. 

The Beast Below: 

This one breaks the mold a bit: It’s Liz 10 who does all of the “fear my reputation lines” and pulls almost the same line as the Doctor in 11th hour (I'm the bloody Queen, mate. Basically, I rule). What ties this to other Monster in the Closet episodes is that problem’s solution comes from realizing how amazing the Doctor is, and applying that logic to our misunderstood Starwhale. Since it doesn’t need to be scared away like our past few monsters, we get this instead: 

AMY: The Star Whale didn't come like a miracle all those years ago. It volunteered. You didn't have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old, and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead. No future. What couldn't you do then? If you were that old, and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.

AMY: Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery and loneliness, and it just made it kind. DOCTOR: But you couldn't have known how it would react. AMY: You couldn't. But I've seen it before. Very old and very kind, and the very, very last. Sound a bit familiar? 

Night Terrors: 

Again, the formula’s changing. Here, the Doctor’s title declaration triggers the monster and makes the scary stuff happen rather than the other way ‘round because the resolution is reconciliation between parent and child. If the Doctor were to be the substitute parental figure, he would interfere with that reconciliation.

GEORGE [memory]: Who are you? DOCTOR [memory]: I'm the Doctor. GEORGE [memory]: A doctor? Have you come to take me away? Away. Away. Away. DOCTOR: That's what did it. That's what the trigger was. He thought you were rejecting him. He thought he wasn't wanted, that someone was going to come and take him away. 

(It should be noted that there’s still a title declaration where the Doctor assumes that people should know and respect his title, even though they have no logical reason to: 

DOCTOR: I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor. ALEX: What's that supposed to mean? DOCTOR: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex. A very long way. George sent a message. A distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space. )

So that brings me back to The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances. One of my huge Doctor Who pet peeves is the Doctor’s growing hubris. I could manage it in seasons 2-4 because everybody and their dog was calling the Doctor out when he went too far, but it just kind of stopped in season 5 and the Doctor threw out more and more lines about how great or scary he was.

What I love about Nine is that he’s humble. What? you ask. The man who told us “I am so impressive!” is the most humble? Yes. Despite his “devil may care” blustering, Nine carries a huge burden of guilt and he constantly questions whether or not he has the authority to make big decisions when lives are at stake. It’s no coincidence that Harriet Jones pulls the “I’m the only elected official” card in World War Three to tell the Doctor to save the world even if she and Rose might die, or that when the Doctor acts unilaterally to let the Gelth posses corpses in The Unquiet Dead, he’s wrong, or that his actions to free the human race from the brainwashing news just leads to societal collapse and allows the Daleks a place to lie in wait, or that he’s spared from deciding Blon’s fate in Boomtown by the TARDIS. It all leads to his decision in front of the Daleks: Coward or killer? Do I have the right to decide who lives and dies? His answer is no, I don’t (then Rose saves the day). 

In keeping with his personality, it would be totally out of character for him to boast of his reputation to scare away the monsters. Instead, we get this beautiful inversion of the Monster in the Closet Doctor/Parent figure scaring away the monsters by virtue of title: 

DOCTOR: Amazing.

NANCY: What is?

DOCTOR: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it. Nothing. Until one, tiny, damp little island says no. No. Not here. A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. Don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me. Off you go then do what you've got to do. Save the world.

Instead of an “I’m the Doctor! Monsters are scared of me!” line, we get the Doctor saying ‘the monsters are scared of you.’ Then, he says he himself is frightened of humans. That’s an odd thing to say, since Nine doesn’t act frightened of humans and seems to just love them, until you consider the thematic implications. Who’s scared of the humans? The monsters. 

The Doctor from ‘Dalek’ is calling.

The Doctor considers himself to be one of the monsters, even if he’s trying to atone for his past. He’s desperately avoiding whatever reputation’s left after the Time War and doesn’t pull that card until he’s facing a Dalek army. I am so so so grateful we got this line, instead of a line about how great the Doctor is.

The bad guy is not actually malicious, just following its nature: The monster is always something real here, but it’s never properly evil. I do like a good “the aliens just have different needs than humans” plot. That said, it can get predictable when you know there’s going to be a twist coming. I like the twists less and less as the episodes go on.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: The monster is the child! Sort of: the good-at-healing but bad-at-AI nanogenes made Jamie and everyone else a monster since they didn’t know what they were going for as they repaired the humans. 

The Girl in the Fireplace: Arguably the most sinister on this list, the droids aren’t malicious, just trying to repair their ship with re-purposed body parts because they broke down. Not evil, just following incomplete AI instructions like our Nanogenes. This was the only thing I liked in this episode. At least the monsters had a reason they were obsessed with Reinette, unlike the stalker-y actions the Doctor took that were supposed to be 100% okay, even though he criticized the Robots for doing that? 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: The Vasta Nerada are creepy and eat people, but it’s just because their forest was pulped and they came here in the books! They just want to be left in peace to hunt like normal predators. 

The Eleventh Hour: This one doesn’t fit quite so neatly. However, it should be noted that the primary danger in the episode doesn’t come from the bad guy, Prisoner Zero, but the cops looking for him who are willing to boil the earth. They’re not evil, just callous and need to be reminded of proper boundaries.

The Beast Below: The weird scorpion stingers are just the Starwhale! It loves children. It doesn’t even care about being tortured for centuries and will keep driving everyone through space. 

Night Terrors: George is monster! That is, he’s the one causing the creepy stuff to happen because he’s an alien who stressed out about the parents he brainwashed abandoning him. I guess that’s sci fi for you?

With the exception of Blink, all of the monsters are shown as innocent, if dangerous. They just need to put their energy in a different direction. It’s not until Victory of the Daleks that Moffat breaks the mold. Why? The punchline of “Monster in the Closet” stories is that the monsters are real and scary, but not evil, just following their nature. Daleks fall into the “these are actual bad guys” category, not the misunderstood monster. (Which is kinda funny, because it’s been established that Daleks are genetically engineered to kill and hate. They may be a Nazi analogue, but Nazis were people who chose evil. The Daleks are bred to hate and exterminate--note what happens to the “impure” dalek in Dalek and Evolution of the Daleks: they don’t kill people, and then they die.) 

My biggest beef with these episodes that they’re all relatively close together, so it’s easy to notice the overlap. When Moffat uses almost the exact same line in one episode as in the previous episode, I notice. When he uses the same mask design, I notice. When he has a constantly repeated line and does it again, I notice. Even before I waded into anti Moffat stuff, I noticed a shift at the end of season 4. I attributed it to a new cast since I just couldn’t click with anything. Then, I learned there was a new writer, and found out he had also written my least favorite episode of New Who (The Girl in the Fireplace). 

After writing this, I can’t help but parrot what I’ve heard elsewhere: Moffat’s trying to write a fairytale. A lot of the people and dangers feel more like archetypes than people, and the dialogue is witty but often unnatural--nobody goes around bantering like that all the time. The villains are identified by their form just as much as what they intend to do. There’s also this weird idolization of childhood and the innocent child. I don’t like it much. I’m more of the Coraline, Witches of Worm, Egyptian Game, and Wrinkle in Time mold, where the kids are just as realized and human as their adult counterparts and can lack empathy and be as creepy as adults. Alternatively, I’ll take Shannon Hale’s fairy-tale retellings where the bad guys are people and the solution involves personal courage and collaborative effort. (Moffat can keep his Day of the Doctor maypole children, and I will keep Chloe the scribbler, even if her episode was a little off).

My rating for these episodes, from least to most favorite: 

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Love Christopher Eccleston’s performance and was very creeped out by the child monsters. The solution to the problem was implied but not obvious so I didn’t get it until I was supposed to. I didn’t enjoy the introduction of a love triangle or the constant innuendo, but at least it was gone in an episode. Also, I will never not fangirl over “Everybody Lives!” and its significance to Nine. 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: Thoroughly enjoyed these episodes, though I do have things to quibble with (wish Lee was black like Donna’s other romantic interests--she’s got a type and it’s not “gorgeous and can’t speak a word,” among other critical things). Overall,  a great episode

The Eleventh Hour, which I enjoyed, but makes me feel weirder and weirder the more I watch it between child/adult Amy, handcuffs and porn references, and the annoying “prisoner zero has escaped” mantra, plus “I’m the doctor! The earth is protected! I also didn’t like the repeat of comatose people sitting up and saying things. It was good the first time, not so much the second. Funny, but also uncomfortably awkward and creepy, and not in the “are you my mummy” way. 

The Beast Below, which felt like it was recycled from earlier tropes to me. Maybe if Liz 10 wouldn’t have had the GitF porcelain mask, I wouldn’t be as tempted to compare it to other Monster in the Closet episodes. Overall, just meh.

The Girl in the Fireplace, which rubs me wrong in every way, except for the droids cannibalizing crew to save the ship--what does that say about me and the episode? I will not rewatch this episode willingly.

[l-sincline]

Cybernetics- Cyberpunk!Sonic AU- Chapter 4

Amy Rose has been working tirelessly at her broken down booth for as long as she can imagine. Ever since Tails left their work to join forces with the revered hero of Mobius, ‘The Blue Blur’, she’s grown lonely and desperate to make her life exciting. A strange customer comes in one day asking her to fix his cyborg arm, what she didn’t know was that he would be the catalyst for a brand new life.

AO3 Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Amy Rose/Shadow the Hedgehog, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog), Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prower, Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik, Rouge the Bat, Whisper the Wolf, Cream the Rabbit, Knuckles the Echidna, Badnik (Sonic the Hedgehog), E-123 Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Angst, Slow Burn, Partners in Crime

AO3 Link

Previous/Next

He had walked Amy back to her booth that night, thanking her for her service on his arm, and claiming that he’d come back if he ever needed anything else. She’d offered for him to come by any time to say hello and thanked him for the dinner, but with his personality she quite frankly doubted she’d ever see him again. She’d turned to walk into her booth, and by the time she’d looked over her shoulder to see which direction he’d already disappeared without a sound. She wondered how he did it.

Anyways, she was feeling quite refreshed this morning. Smiling at every potential customer that passed, fixing minor defects on ProjScreens for free, finally talking to someone outside of work had done a world of good for her. Amy could tell it had cleansed her mind and relaxed her a bit, and she felt a bit more like she had when Tails had co-owned the booth with her. She didn’t know how long this feeling of security and peacefulness would last, but she intended to take advantage of it for as long as she could. So, she put up her ‘be back soon’ sign and stepped out of her booth to go and visit Whisper.

The rusty bell jingled as she pushed open the creaking wood door, Whisper’s weapon shop bustled quietly with activity. A few children stood staring at an impressive sword like weapon in a glass case, and a few seemingly more serious buyers turned a base model of a blaster over in their hands.

“Amy! Come on behind the counter.” Whisper’s damaged voice reached Amy’s perked ears as the mechanic turned to look at the weapon maker and quickly headed to get behind the counter.

“Hey Whisper, sorry I couldn’t do this last night.” She apologized as she walked around the counter to stand in front of the wolf mobian.

“It’s quite fine, I understand being exhausted. I caught a glimpse of the piece you were putting back on, it looked very different from anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“It was pretty strange, but enough about my work, what have you got for me?” Amy redirected the conversation as it twisted to be on ‘Myst’s strange cyborg arms. She was sure he wouldn’t want them to be a topic of conversation, even if she didn’t know him that well, she could tell that much.

Whisper merely nodded in response before reaching under the counter and pulling out the model. As it was, it looked a lot like the metal ‘bag’ structure she’d been picturing.

“It’s made out of aluminum, so when you finish it I’m assuming you’ll make it with perhaps cobalt or some other lightweight strong metal, but this is the base form.” She explained. “The strap is here-“ Whisper popped open a compartment and the strap fell out. She continued to speak as she hooked it on to a loop on either end. “-it has magnetic fibers in it, so when you want to be able to go from using it as a weapon to using it as a bag quickly, it can just attach itself to the outside, as long as your metal is magnetic.” Whisper hung the bag over her shoulder to demonstrate how it looked. When she dropped the bag from her shoulder, she pressed a button on the top and the handle of the hammer shot out the other side. Whisper grasped it by the handle and twirled it a few times before stopping to grip it with both hands in a strong stance. “And here’s the finished product.”

“Wow...” Amy breathed out in awe as Whisper lowered it and handed it to her. “I can’t wait to work on it!” She smiled. “Beautiful work, Whisper, really.”

“I’m glad you think so.” She smiled back. “I can’t do lunch today, unfortunately, but something tells me you want to get to work right away.”

“Right- I’ll see you later, Whisper.” She smiled as Whisper waved a quiet good bye.

Amy weaved through the stands displaying weapons and out onto the busy, outer ring streets, where she dodged mobians walking quickly past her to get back into her booth and put away her ‘be back soon’ sign. She set the model down on her desk and quickly got to work on it, now eagerly hoping that no one would bother her for the rest of the day so she could get it done as soon as possible.

After a few hours of replicating pieces of the aluminum model with cobalt she had almost finished forming the head of the hammer, but it was then that she realized there was an odd silence coming from outside the booth, accompanied from a familiar hum she didn’t quite like to hear. She turned to see the mobians in the street parting the way, parents tucking their kids away, others ducking into alleys to be out of the line of fire of the devilish thing- a Robotnik Robot, easily most common to the outer ring, where people were less likely to be able to defend themselves against the flying robots, and where the government didn’t care to check up on often. The white and black robot hovered off the ground, it’s one beady red ‘eye’ shooting off a beam that it used to scan the crowd. This was normal- it was looking for someone, maybe a citizen had gotten ballsy and kicked one and the Doctor wanted his revenge. It wasn’t as much of revenge as it was an excuse to spill some blood though, she supposed. What she didn’t find normal was when it stopped on her. She hissed in pain and shielded her eyes at the sudden bright light of the robot scanning her.

Subject: Amy Rose

It spoke emotionlessly and Amy froze- what did that mean? Usually it just scanned subjects and moved on- why had it said her name?

Amy Rose, you are the last Mobian in contact with Project Shadow, reveal his whereabouts immediately.

What? Amy shrunk back a bit and found herself grabbing the aluminum hammer, it might fall apart if she used it, but she would still have all the pieces at least.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Amy shouted.

Amy Rose, reveal the whereabouts of Project Shadow.

It repeated with no care for her testimony.

“I don’t know about any ‘Project Shadow’!” Amy shouted again, angrier this time, desperate for the robot to hear her and give up.

Amy Rose will be: Terminated.

She gasped as the robot came shooting towards her, eye beginning to shine as if it were ready to hit her with a terrible blast. In a moment of adrenaline, she spun on her toes and lifted the hammer with both hands. By the time she’d made it all the way back around again, she swung as hard as she could, and BANG- home run.

The Robotnik Robot went flying back out into the street as she followed through and the hammer poised back up behind her head again. It’s white body clanked to the ground and skidded, creating a horrible screeching noise before thunking against the wall of the building opposite of her and powering down. Amy breathed heavily in fear as she lowered the hammer and dropped it to the ground, the reality of the situation coming back to her senses as the mobians in the street slowly stopped staring at her and began carrying on with their day. A couple kids scrambled to tear the broken robot apart for parts, and she clutched a hand over her chest.

What. Was. That.

She had never, never in a million years, ever been targeted by Robotnik robot. At first she thought it might’ve been because he had found out Tails had used to work here- but Tails was no ‘Project Shadow’ unless he had suddenly changed drastically in the last twenty four hours. It seemed that ‘Myst’ was her only viable culprit for the ‘Project Shadow’. Amy picked up the aluminum hammer off the floor and placed it back on her work desk, amazed it hadn’t fallen to pieces like she’d thought it would. She sat back down on her stool and pulled out her ProjScreen.

Her first search was ‘Project Shadow’

The web showed it as nothing more than some Projection vlog channel of a kid who had no more than ten subscribers.

She looked up ‘Robotnik Project Shadow’

Same kid as before, except it seemed he had made a video ranting about the Doctor, seemed like it might be amusing, just not right now.

She tried ‘White Cyborg Arms’

Most of what came up we’re just arms taken from androids modeled after white colored mobians- cats seemed to be the most common, though she also saw what appeared to be a bird- and a few were actually pictures of Mobians with white cyborg arms, but none of them were what she had looked at only a few days ago.

Then ‘Cloaked Cyborg’

And now she was getting somewhere. The first article that came up was from about two months ago, and the headline read ‘Blue Blur goes head to head once more with the Cloaked Cyborg’ she clicked on it and was met with a gut wrenching picture.

It was the Blue Blur, just as handsome as everyone claimed, right in the middle of kicking her familiar mysterious customer in the cyborg arms with his cyborg legs, through the shadow of the hood he wore she saw the gleam of clenched teeth, it seemed that his shoes were skidding on the ground as well. Something told her he would have flown into a wall right after this picture. Her stomach churned- the man she had met did not seem deserving of this treatment, but then again, she hardly knew him. What had he done to get to that? She read the article quickly, the most she got out of it was that the people were lucky to have the Blue Blur to save them from wrong doers like the Cloaked Cyborg- but it still didn’t tell her what he had done. Clearly he had some sort of connection with Robotnik, she was almost one hundred percent sure that it was the doctor himself who had made ‘Myst’ those arms now. He had also apparently done something to get on the Blur’s bad side, and by extension Tails, which meant that it was good she never showed Tails the arm, but bad that she’d let a fair amount about Tails slip to ‘Myst’. Amy groaned and powered down the ProjScreen. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this. She didn’t like that she couldn’t find what ‘Myst’ had done anywhere on the web, but a part of her felt like she was betraying Tails by not immediately contacting him to tell him what had happened. Her unease swirled in her mind as she clenched her hands into fists in her lap. For now, it seemed that it might be best to just not say anything at all. She didn’t have to lie to Tails if she just didn’t talk to him, and with any luck, ‘Myst’ would not reappear at her booth anytime soon. She felt like she was trapped in a web, but all she could do was toss the ProjScreen to the top of her table and start working on the hammer once more.

[strivingscribe]

ILIC ~ CH 28

Happy Valentine's Day :)It’s Lost Its Charm by  MsMoon

Chapter 28 ~ Finally Plugged In

Chapters: 28/?

Chapter Navigation: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15,16, 17, 18,19,20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28,

Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age,

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Violence,

Relationships: I feel like it’s a little early for that…

Summary: As dreams went, she supposed being inside Dragon Age wasn’t too bad… At least she wasn’t the Herald (again). Or the Warden (again). Or Hawke (again).

Notes: Hope you guys enjoy this one :)

Amy breathed. Slow and deep as she stared down at the peer post. It was so hard to believe so much had happened so quickly. In the dawning light, it seemed so harmless.

 Heavy footfalls drew her attention to her far right. A very familiar silhouette was emerging from the mist there. When the Iron Bull’s eye landed on her...her stomach sunk.

 “Bull?” her voice was reedy and rusted. Reasonably so after… whatever had happened yesterday. She took a single step back.

 The Iron Bull began to jog towards her.

 No… not jog. Charge.

 “Katoh.” she said, her voice soft, his approaching charge steamrolled over it. “Katoh, Hissrad.” a plea.

 She couldn't imagine a reply from the Qun would come so quickly. There was no way they’d already decided to eliminate her…

 She turned to survey her surroundings better… only to freeze.

 It was dawn. Still. No one was out here. It wasn't as if everyone in Haven needed to be milling about every day at dawn, but no one?

 When she looked back to Bull, the space between them was farther than it had been before.

 He was still running. She had not moved from her spot by the docks. Yet he was farther away. And the sun was still just cresting the horizon.

 Still.

 Everything was… Still.

 She turned to face him fully, planting her feet and squaring her shoulders.

 “I. Said. Stop.” Her voice was loud, echoing through the valley though she hadn’t raised her voice. His pace slowed, more of a purposeful saunter now, and within scant seconds he stopped three paces from her.

 It didn’t make any sense! ...it was like…

 Her eyes doubled in size.

 “Holy frothing frogs, I’m in the Fade.” she said.

 The Iron Bull that was most certainly not The Iron Bull smiled at her. It was… unsettling. A familiar expression in a familiar face that somehow... was anything except familiar.

 “What are you?” She demanded.

 “Long have I circled around you, always from my side of the veil.” The Bull’s voice, but in Fade-Acoustics, so it sounded distant-echoey-and-yet-near. “From others around you, I see you. But never you… like learning to look for an absence. And I know you.”

 Amy tried to stamp down her fear response, but it wasn’t easy. Every time she tried a breathing exercise she’d get caught up in the fact that she didn’t need to breathe. She literally had astral projected out of her body for this genuine Theadosian experience. She didn’t have lungs!

 But her brain thought she did.

 ...it was the weirdest ‘The Matrix has you’ situation… at least thus far.

 “Name yourself.” She commanded. She refused to call it a demon. If spirits were or could be as malleable as Solas suggested, she needed to keep a clear head.

 “I am Confrontation.”

 Oh.

 Wait.

 ...what?

 Was she…?

 …..okay, yes.

 She huffed out an astral-breath. “Seriously.” She couldn’t help the solitary chuckle that plopped out. “My first trip to the fade, first spirit I see...is Confrontation.”

 Their eye narrowed. “You do not allow excuses to stop you. You refuse to be intimidated. You act in spite of opposition. And you bring others together and force them to face what is between them.” They nodded, seemingly satisfied with their assessment.

 “Gawhd.” Amy grunted. “I am in the Fade.”

 “Yes and no.” The spirit said. “This is more… hm.” They tilted their head. “It is difficult to explain.”

 “It’s like a pocket dimension.” Siheta’s voice startled Amy, making her nearly jump away from the dock.

 Siheta squatted, perched atop the dock in an easy crouch, as though she’d always been there. Her entrance felt a lot like she’d somehow figured out how to be Batman in spite of all this brightness.

 “How?” Amy asked as the Kossith hopped down.

 “You’re technically still not quite in the Fade.”

 Amy’s eyes boggled.

 “So...So, I’m dreaming and there’s a spirit,” so motioned to the Iron Confrontation. “And a dreamer is here,” and she motioned to Siheta. “And yet, I’m still not in the Fade?” Siheta smiled at her indignation.

 “You’re dreaming the way you normally did before your crossing. You didn’t need the Fade there, did you?”

 Amy sighed, drooping. Of course Siheta was right. She knew she was right.

 “No.” she droned.

 “Well, whatever happened in your crossing that sealed up your magic...it’s…” she shook her head. “It's safe to say that Sam’s mark broke through it. So now your magic is ...loose. It touches the veil in a way that we don’t.”

 “Reaching out to you was not easy.” Confrontation added. “Even for those who have no magic, I can easily visit them. This required… effort.”

 Amy looked between them, worry puckering her brow. “You’re...you’re not trapped here?”

 “No.” Siheta assured. “Surprised at this turn of events, and smug that Solas hasn’t found his way here. But not trapped.”

 “I am not trapped either.” Confrontation assured. “Only this contact required effort.”

 Amy nodded, relief filtering through her. “Do you think Solas will show up here?”

 “As soon as he figures out how, I imagine so.” Siheta grinned. “I’ve learned how to listen for you. And we’ve all been rather preoccupied since you fainted.”

 “I fainted?” Amy demanded, appalled.

 “Right into Commander Cullen’s burly arms.” Siheta whispered, as though it were some secret to cherish always, her hands coming up to rest against her heart.

 “Let’s just keep that between ourselves, shall we?” Amy grumbled, face flattening at Siheta's antics.

 The woman's eyes widened expressively. “I’d love to, but Varric was nearby so…”

 “Fantastic.” Amy spat, the word sour in her mouth.

 Siheta smirked. “Had Cullen and Sam tripping all over themselves.” She muttered, shaking her head. “It was a sight.”

 “They enjoy controlling the dance.” Confrontation grumbled. “Being coy, fainting right and left to avoid what they imagine to be unpleasant.” They grinned at her. “Even incapacitated, you deny them that.”

 “Alright.” Amy murmured, having enough of whatever that was.

 “You could probably change this you know.” Siheta said, gesturing to their surroundings. Confrontation glared from the corner of their eye. Probably recognizing the diversionary tactic, and not appreciating it.

 “I uh… I’ll just learn to crawl before I run.”

 “Amy it’s you. Your head, your power, your dream.” Siheta soothed, her purple eyes kind and filled with delight. “I know, technically you aren’t a dreamer, but very few non-mages have the ability to control their dreams.”

 “I know I could try it, but I’d just...rather not.”Amy said, sighing down at the ice. “At this point… I’m liable to make it look like home, and that’ll only make me more heartsick.” Siheta nodded her understanding.

 “Because of your mother.” Confrontation blurted out.

 Amy crossed her arms. “Yes. I miss my mother.” her voice a challenge.

 “You aren’t upset because you miss her. You’re upset because you feel guilty and cheated, because you never told her that she is the measure by which you judge all women. Including yourself.”

 Amy’s expression darkened. “I will punch you in your not real face if you don’t back off.” she said plainly.

 Confrontation relaxed back onto their back foot. “Even when you wish to retreat, it isn’t without demanding it.” The admiration in that statement did not go unnoticed... Only, Amy wondered if that was necessarily the best thing to focus on. Was she unbearably relentless?

 “I suppose you aren’t wrong.” Siheta decided with a smirk, and Amy could only pretend to glare for so long before just letting it go. “Would you like a change of topic?”

 “Please?”

 “What’s the last thing you remember?”

 Amy took in a breath, letting it out slow as she tried to remember. “The doors of the chantry.”

 “That tracks…” Siheta murmured. “But is this.. I mean…” She squinted, trying to figure out how to articulate her question. “This is your first dream?”

 “Uh. Yeah.”

 Siheta’s eyebrows rose. “I went to sleep a couple of hours ago, and you fainted not long after lunch.”

 Amy’s brow puckered, not sure what that meant.

 “Navigating the Dreaming isn’t easy…” Siheta shrugged as though she were trying to dismiss whatever she’d started. "You'll learn. I have faith."

 “How…” Amy stopped herself, unsure of how to phrase any question as so many were demanding answers. “Ok.” She wet her lips. “How can we make it easier for Solas to get here?”

 Siheta pursed her lips. “It makes sense that if the Dreaming and parts of it can enter your sphere… parts of your sphere could enter the Dreaming.”

 “Uhhh…”

 “I’m just thinking out loud here.” Siheta assured. “For me to get here, it was a combination of listening and feeling. Traversing here isn’t difficult when one can open portals… But could you open your own portals?” she squinted. “I don’t know. Theoretically, the answer should be yes...”

 “The Fade strikes me as the sort of place one shouldn’t stumble about in.” Amy murmured.

 “Such things haven’t stopped you before.”Confrontation reminded. Siheta sucked a breath between her teeth.

 “You know the more I know you, the less I enjoy you.”Amy grumbled. Confrontation’s only response was one of those ‘I-call-it-as-I-see-it’ shrugs.

 Siheta was still smirking at this interplay, but it wasn’t an unkind sort of smirk. Amy cleared her throat in hopes of clearing the air.

 “Are you certain you want to try getting Solas here? Siheta asked.

 Amy took a breath. “You really dislike him.” The statement was an observation, of course, but it was also a call for validation.

 “I dislike how I feel about him.” Siheta refuted. Amy’s eyes sharpened. She wasn’t necessarily surprised to hear Siheta speak openly about feelings. She wasn’t typically the sort to cage herself, after all. “What?”

 “Just...that turn of phrase. It’s peculiar to me.”

 Siheta nodded. “Solas is intelligent and intuitive. He’s also much older than he seems, and that comes with a vast deal of knowledge. I respect him even when I resent him, and I don’t like that.” she shrugged. “He’s also...well, dangerous obviously. Anyone that powerful who can remain undetected is... But, there’s something shifty about him. In this world of ours, I understand wanting to remain as unremarkable as possible...but it goes beyond that with him. That makes me most uneasy. You don't do that unless you legitimately have a reason to hide.” Amy nodded that she understood, and Siheta seemed to relax. As though she’d been waiting to defend herself. “I’m not the only one who thinks it even if others don’t articulate it.”

 “Magpie?”

 “Magpie.” Siheta confirmed. “And Varic. And Bull to some extent.”

 “Ben Hass-hole.”

 “Quite.” Siheta surveyed their surroundings. “But even they’re beginning to relax around him.”

 “Hm.” Amy murmured. “Without revealing too much… I don't think it’s a bad idea to be mindful of Solas. At the same time.. I’d much rather keep him close. Even at the expense of my own feelings. Because…” she shook her head. “He isn’t an automaton. He has valid thoughts and feelings. And if he's close to us, and we form strong bonds and feelings with him, there’s a chance he’ll form bonds and feelings for us as well.” she shrugged, mouth scrunching to the side. “Doesn’t mean a break won't hurt, but he’ll have all that to inform him as he moves away from us.”

 Siheta’s expression was flat, grim. “Risky.” she announced before heaving a lonesome breath. “But worthy.” she finally determined with a nod.

 “So…”

 “Right.” Siheta took a fortifying breath. “How to invite the old sage in.” she eyed their surroundings till her eyes landed on Confrontation. The spirit had gone quiet during their discourse.

 ...and Amy wondered for a second how much of their presence was influencing all of this abject honesty.

 “How is this affecting you?” Siheta asked, and Amy blinked, her eyes darting between Siheta and Confrontation… it was only then Amy realized that Siheta was addressing the spirit..and Amy suddenly grew concerned.

 “Well enough.” Confrontation pronounced, nodding towards Amy. “This one is very concerned with keeping to herself… odd, as this space is herself.” They blinked, looking up and then around. “Honestly… I expected some friction.”

 Siheta nodded, her gauging gaze assessing Amy anew. “Commendable.”

 “Oi.” Amy grunted. “I’m right here.”

 Siheta chuckled, taking a long moment to corral her thoughts. “So… just so we’re all on the same page now. People in Thedas live in a physical world that is next to and within a realm of Dreaming that they call the Fade. It's seperated from them only by a very flimsy barrier they call the Veil. Mages have a stronger connection to that Dreaming and use its energy to manifest effects in the physical world. To be clear, everyone lives with the Dreaming overlapping them.”

 “Mages are just aware of it and connected to it.”

 “Right.” Siheta confirmed. “When you arrived here, you didn’t connect and the Dreaming didn’t touch you.”

 “So… I was like a vacuum?”

 Siheta nodded. “A void, yes. But as time passed, I realized it wasn’t so. The Dreaming adjusted itself around you, seeping in where it could… the physical realm, of course. The rest of you, your soul, it was encased in a shell, like an egg. But I could focus on you and feel you in a similar fashion to others.” She took a deep breath. “It took pointed focus to skim that eggshell of yours, but it was possible.”

 “Like a needle on an old-fashioned record player.”Amy mumbled to herself.

 “If it helps the explanation, why not?” Siheta said with a shrug. “I observed many things about your unique condition, and the more often I pressed in on that shell…”

 “The better you got at understanding?”

 Siheta winced, suddenly contrite. “Yes...but that wasn’t without consequence. You began to sing more and more, and it became clearer that your magic manifested through your song. And as you used your gifts, they became stronger. Whether that was from, natural practice or my interference… I don���t know.”

 Amy hesitated, uncertain. “...Your..?” How did Siheta ‘interfere’ exactly?

 “You mentioned a needle...well, my attempts to connect through your barrier isn’t unlike pressing a glass against a door… or… a needle through the wood to peek inside. And once there were cracks, parts of your magic cloud leak out...and parts of the Dreaming could leak in.” Amy stared at her, both shocked and something…a feeling she couldn’t quite name. There was fear, and she felt small and yet amazed at the same time. It was like… seeing a storm coming, and worrying that your house might not stand against it. “There’s no way to test if that process weakened the barrier, because it’s gone now.”

 Amy swallowed thickly. “...the explosion?”

 Siheta nodded. “The shell is gone. Now, it’s more of a...thin gooey barrier…”

 “Semipermeable membrane.”

 Siheta’s eyebrows nose and she nodded slow. “Semi-Permeable… a good name for it. Things don’t just float out or drift in, but it’s much easier.” Siheta smirked. “Like your own personal veil.” She sighed, softly. “That being said, you still aren't like other mages. That will make this instruction challenging. Not impossible… just difficult.”

 Amy nodded, the shock so thick she couldn’t feel crestfallen.

 “It will be difficult to invite Solas here, because it’s something that can be done, but it’s advanced. Also... I know how I would do it, but I don't entirely know what would work for you.” Siheta explained. “Instead, I think I should instruct you in the basics first. It will provide you with a better foundation to build on, and you would be safer.

 Amy nodded. It felt like a bit of a let-down, but it made sense.

 “Besides, once Solas is here, I doubt he’ll be interested in the basics.”

 Amy smirked. “You think he’d disregard that?”

 Siheta shrugged. “Solas can get rather caught up in forgetting that everyone isn’t like him, and that such things are normal. He’s like a qunari that way, confused how a woman can fight or a mage could be in command.” she sighed. “A fish can teach a bird to swim, so long as it remembers that they’re different animals and maintains respect for that simple fact.”

 Amy chuckled softly. “The simple often confounds the wise.” She relented, relaxing as she resigned herself to Siheta’s basic instruction. “All right. Teach me.” she said, newly determined.

Happy Valentine's Day :)