#me too UNless ur a Jew

[tikkunolamresistance]

Thank u for "taking" (lol) the url of a pro hamas holocaust-denying jewfaker. Amazing how that dumbass deleted all their shit and ur the thief lol 😂 also why do gen z pro palis constantly tell ppl to kill themselves but get suicidal over the fact their parents had them do chores

can’t speak on the jew faker part but the hamas sympathy and holocaust denying was very hurtful then they would trample on other jewish users who disagreed with them. very rude.

as for the second part of your ask, i don’t appreciate the condescending tone used here to describe our youth, but the free palestine movement offers them purpose and community in an era where isolation is a major issue. for many of the younger gen z crowd, this is their first i/p flare up and they are only just learning about any of this now.

in a world that disenfranchises gen z for being too young, too online, and all these other things, the free palestine movement gives them the feeling they can make effective change and doesn’t require them to actually… do or learn anything. they made encampments that did nothing to advance their cause in any sincere manner, unless terrifying college jews is their cause (which for some it is).

that’s what makes combating their brand of vitriol so difficult too. they’ve adopted a political movement as an identity tied to their self worth. i did that when i was younger though i managed to not be a massive bigot while doing so.

my heart is telling me to give them grace, they are pretty much teens after all, but i’m not going to. i am going to call them what they are: antisemitic bigots aiding islamists with their rhetoric.

disclaimer: this is just my conjecture on the subject. i’m not in college anymore and these thoughts of mine come from listening to my college aged family members, the news, and online vent spaces designed to allow jewish college students to air their concerns.

[mariacallous]

(JTA) — Following weeks of pressure on the United Nations to condemn Hamas for reported sexual violence during its Oct. 7 attack on Israel, U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres urged an investigation into the allegations in a statement on social media.

“There are numerous accounts of sexual violence during the abhorrent acts of terror by Hamas on 7 October that must be vigorously investigated and prosecuted,” Guterres wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter. “Gender-based violence must be condemned. Anytime. Anywhere.”

Guterres’ comments, his first call for such an investigation, come nearly eight weeks after reports of sexual violence on Oct. 7 first emerged. He posted them two days after backlash over an Instagram post by an arm of the U.N. that condemned Hamas, but was deleted within an hour. That post by U.N. Women — an official entity of the U.N. focused on promoting gender equality and women’s empowerment — was replaced with a statement calling for the release of the Israeli hostages held captive in Gaza, with no mention of the terror group. 

Since the attack, Israeli police, military investigators, and emergency responders have gathered testimony from those who witnessed sexual assault on Oct. 7 and also documented evidence of the assaults from the bodies of some of those who died, the Times of Israel reported.

Israeli police also have video evidence, testimony from interrogations, and photographs of victims’ bodies that suggest sexual assault took place on Oct. 7, according to the Times of Israel.

A number of pro-Israel accounts with large followings on X took Guterres to task for waiting more than 50 days to call for an investigation. Broadly, Israeli and Jewish women activists have called for more widespread condemnation of sexual violence committed during Hamas’ attack, and have castigated what they say is a double standard against Israeli women. 

Those critics include Sheryl Sandberg, the former COO of Meta, who last week wrote an op-ed criticizing women’s groups for their silence on the subject, alomg with a group of entrepreneurs who created a campaign and petition called “Me Too UNless Ur a Jew.”

On Oct. 27, the U.N. General Assembly adopted a resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, but voted down a provision that condemned the Oct. 7 Hamas terrorist attacks. Israel’s parliament, the Knesset, held a session Monday on crimes against humanity committed against women during the Oct. 7 massacre.

[weemietime]

Also u know what the stupidest part is about being called "Islamophobic" for insisting that people "vetting" scam bots - claiming to be in Gaza fundraising on a website that does not operate in Gaza - to show their work is? When I first got back on Tumblr I actually fell for this shit too and reblogged a few of them lmao.

But something in my brain was like this ain't right so I looked into it and now after being here like a month it's plainly obvious that I get like 10-20 scam bots a day in my inbox. I'm a Zionist Jew, so not only are they lying but they clearly are bots lol no real Palestinian is going to come into my ask box.

Islamophobia is a stupid term to apply to this anyway. It has nothing to do with Islam. Unless you yourself think scamming people is a part of Islam lmfao. If u mean anti Arab racism just say that.

They try and frame it as oh u are against donating to Palestinians or whatever when they can't even demonstrate with any degree of reliability that these people are even Palestinian. I'm obviously not opposed to it I fucking fell for it, dipshit. There are probably still some shit on my blog I couldn't get rid of. If there is, do NOT donate to these people. AGAIN, GOFUNDME DOES NOT OPERATE IN GAZA. THIS IS A LIE.

It's okay to admit you got tricked. Nothing bad will happen. Hamas won't jump out from under ur bed to demand u explain why u didn't reblog the 70th empty Tumblr account with no mutuals and no personal engagement of any kind

For all people who genuinely say shit like this you had better come back with some actual VETTING like y'all claim is being done. Because if the person vetting these people doesn't explain why they're fine legitimizing someone who is openly lying to you, then guess what???

You are actually not vetting this person, lmao. "trust me bro" isn't vetting. It's a nothing burger.

[al-kol-eleh]

Ed Leon Klinger

Source

[al-kol-eleh]

Dear “Feminists”,

On the occasion of International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women there’s something I’d like you to consider: you have made it glaringly obvious that contrary to your own previous statements there are, in fact, contexts where rape is apparently acceptable. By which I mean that I have had to read post after post ping-ponging between claiming that no one was raped-that the reports themselves are nothing but examples of Islamophobia and racism-and that anyone who was raped had it coming to them. What then, have you told rapists? What have you taught survivors?

[al-kol-eleh]

I am continually astonished how many people consistently ignore the hostages who are still in Gaza while they spin increasingly fantastical "solutions". Reminder that these are some of the girls who were conveniently "missing" at the time of last hostage exchange. I guess they found them. Amazing

It's been 94 days

Agam Berger (19)

Liri Elbag (18)

Daniela Gilboa (19)

Karina Ariev (19)

These girls are held captive for 3 months by the monsters of Hamas.  Look at them.

[lucksunkpunk]

Made up facts about fighting against occupation, sure. You are fucking vile. That's a despicable thing to say even if it explains how you can sleep at night. With assholes like you, it doesn't matter what Israel does. Anything other than lying there letting people kill us wholesale is too fucking much. And even then, you'll pretend nothing happened. Me too, unless you're a Jew

Hey man look these arent made up facts like I said news reals videos and documentaries exist on this exact subject I'm sorry you're feeling scared and attacked and I get it but listen to urself the idea that even if it did happen the justification to destroy an entire race is in itself vile... I'm not gonna get too much more into this but just realize that there's tons of information to learn the truth but feeding into fear mongering and made up statistics to unapologetically MURDER families and destroy everything they loved is just atrocious, I'm sorry to hear ur stuck in that mindset man

[ti-30xscalculator]

I think you need to stop thinking your suffering is needed or humble or whatever cuz if I can find joy and whimsy with severe PTSD and depression with constant threat of being a homeless disabled Jew tranny in the bible belt than u too can find whimsy unless u just legit think being unhappy is cool or whatever. If like sucks so bad then do something about it, pussy. Youre in a prison of your own making, world sucks so punch what sucks in the face and smile like a true punk. Youre not living in reality youre living in a self made purgatory and pretending its the whole picture and honestly u should just grow up or wither in silence in ur echo chamber of self righteous hate

Ik this aint gonna get through to you so. Look at this little guy hes playing the trombone look hes so cool and happy that could be u man 🎶🎷🐇

Love the last bit I can't change my life, I don't decide what I do in life, I am forever bounded to only do actions out of my control, and I do not know why. Also, if you have all those things going on, then why the fuck am I so miserable when I have the perfect life? the ONLY thing that ever really went bad for me was getting depression and shit in 2nd grade, but that's life, that's small, that's nothing. I can't even read all this god damn long asks! My heart is racing so much it hurts, my mind is jumping from on thing to another faster than the fucking speed of light I CAN'T FUCKING KEEP UP STOP SENDING THEM STOP SHUT UP

[creamymilkk]

hey i love ur writing!! i would kill for some headcanons of the coon x reader. i loooove him so if your up to it i would really like some headcanons.

the reader is a superhero too. (just make up a power, or don’t. doesn’t matter to me) at first he doesn’t like or trust her. he ends up going out of his way to bother her and be around her. not because he likes her of course 🫣 and then all the other hero’s start to figure out that he likes her and that the reader likes him too. they both act like they hate each other. also the reader is kind of shy. mostly around him. ya know, cause she likes him lmao.

🦝 ♡ “I SAID I LIKE YOU!! CAN'T YOU HEAR?!??” ♡🦝

༉‧₊˚ #Coon! Eric Cartman x F!reader 

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒𝟐𝟎%

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒𝟓𝟎%

█████▒▒▒▒▒𝟕𝟎%

███████▒▒▒𝟏𝟎𝟎%

██████████ 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞

. ˚₊ ꒱ Pairing/Pairings: The Coon/Eric Cartman and Reader.

༉‧₊˚ -Format: Headcanons. 

× &﹕Summary: Basically The Coon trying to hide the fact he likes you :’)

×﹕♺ AUTHOR’S NOTE(S): I wrote this at 1 am so i will edit this later! Currently trying to finish chapter 1 of my fanfic! So requests might take some time :( S/N = Superhero name. R/P = Random Power. NOT PROOF READ!! bl

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵　　‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

♡ - let’s get this started! Ur y/n or should I say S/N the power of R/P. One of your best friends Kyle (yes Kyle since he’s my favorite)

♡ - He said just to at least talk to you and join ‘Coon and friends’ of course he didn’t listen.

♡ - So Kyle said just to go in while the other superheroes weren’t there so the Coon won’t talk shit to him:)

♡ - Of course you being you, aka you having a little big crush on the coon.

♡ - You barely talked and when you did it was barely a whisper.

♡ - So he was getting mad.

♡ - “FOR GOD SAKE WOMAN! SPEAK LOUDER BITCH!”

♡ - That did make you sad but you just moved closer to him.

♡ - After that little meeting, he let you in ‘The Coon’ friends.

♡ - Even though he didn’t let the other girls let any of the girls in.

♡ - It’s like he found you pretty PFFT NO NEVER.

♡ - But he didn’t trust you at all. He didn’t let you go to any of the missions with the other heroes.

♡ - Especially with that jew. Kyle.

♡ - So he always allows you to go on a mission unless he’s with him.

♡ - Basically to make fun of you and brother you every time he got the chance.

♡ - “Ew S/N what kind of hero costume is that even”

♡ - “Heh, you probably have a power of period blood”

♡ - “Dude why did I even let a chick in?” Because you like her that’s why cartman :’)

♡ - Sooner and later you two always picked on each other. 

♡ - For some weird reason, that’s your guys love languages!

♡ - Then the other heroes picked up that Eric had a crush on you.

♡ - Then they realize that you two liked each other.

♡ - They all hated the fact that a girl showed interest in Eric cartman. All of the people , you picked Eric.

♡ - Then in one mission, you got hurt really badly. Eric was literally about to cry. He didn’t want you to get hurt.

♡ - Then when you got all better, you told Eric/The coon about your crush.

♡ - “Look, you probably won’t feel the same. But I really need to get this off my chest.. I-I kinda like you..”

♡ - He was starting to blush. Like brush bright red.

♡ - “I guess I kinda like you…” he said, almost whispering.

♡ - You barely heard him. Okay that was a lie but you really wanted to hear him say those words.

♡ - “Uhm. what?”

♡ - “I SAID I LIKE YOU!! CAN'T YOU HEAR?!??”

♡ - Well let’s just say that you two become some sort of duo:) a somewhat cute superhero duo.

[dickgreyson]

dearest symeona

i’d like to join your little discussion and fill you in, since you were watching cat videos last year and seemed to miss everything. sounds like a much nicer time than i was having! because at the time i was being sent death threats and anti semitic hate for a holding a fairly uncontroversial opinion, or at least in the circles in which i run.

yes, i got upset seeing damian in a santa hat. because for the last few years, my dash every christmas is pretty jam packed full of christmas themed batfam posts and art. and as a jewish person, understanding that the creators of bruce and most of the batfam are jewish, i found this to be quite confusing and hurtful. and let’s just get this out of the way, bruce is jewish. dc has even published articles about this, and has confirmed it in a pussy way. but even without that, his mother, kate’s maternal aunt, is a jew. that means that bruce is a jew. unless he takes real concrete steps to renounce his faith and community, ethnically he’s still jewish. and he can be an atheist and STILL BE JEWISH. there are actually atheist rabbis, who just really love our culture and tradition, want to have a central role in the community, and guide other jews in a positive direction. and thats actually pretty wonderful. because again, judaism is just as much an ethnicity as it is a religion.

over the years, christians have written bruce as catholic and christian and atheist, and a broad range of other things. hell, in the 80s the phrase ‘caped crusader’ was coined by a christian writer, and i dont love hearing him referred to as that. i think it goes against the very core of why he was created as a jewish allegory. the same goes for people who believe superman is a jesus allegory - he isnt. he was written as a modern day moses parallel. also by jewish authors. he’s a jewish character to his core too. the author of the 1990whatever robin run even said he wanted tim to be jewish, and showed his mother in a jewish cemetery. its not as if intent isnt there.

comics as a whole were created by jewish people, to tell jewish stories to a wider audience. yes, there is some old official art of bruce and dick standing in front of a christmas tree. and that might maybe be because.... it was from the 40s. and i dont know if you noticed but in the 40s americans werent really fond of jews, and neither was the world at large. judging by the response of people in my inbox, they still arent. so these characters can still be jewish allegories, written by jewish people to convey jewish ideals and stories, in an antisemitic world. back then this lipservice needed to be paid in the name of assimilation, and i would have hoped today the need for this would have diminished. 

i hope thats enough context to introduce what happened last year, i was upset that it was all going to start again, and made it known. the artist even reached out to me, and listened to my point of view. because this actually, at the end of the day, isnt a huge deal. and im not sure why it grew, and why other people got involved, when the artist, urs, and i had sorted it out. it became a lightning rod for ‘free speech/art’ anti semitic crusaders.

what is a huge deal though is the hate and vitriol and racism and anti semitism that poured out of the people who associate with your side. Urs, my brave friend who vocally stood by me, received countless hateful messages about her being a survivor and a first nations american. i cant even count how many times i was called a kike.

so the real problem here wasnt the santa hat, it was that a jewish and native american person expressed unhappiness about something, and was met with a disgusting display of hate. thats the problem. that your side was so ready to resort to death threats and slurs. because someone expressed an opinion.

I believe that there is a difference between a person choosing to celebrate a holiday, and a non jewish artist drawing jewish/created by jewish people’s characters celebrating christian holidays. because the jewish person has a choice, but the character does not. at this point in time, there are very few practicing jewish and muslim characters in comics, and in media at large. so i dont think it’s appropriate to make everything christian and say no big deal. i think its more important to display diversity in faith and culture, even if dc is reticent because of cultural antisemitism at large.

when it comes to damian, i can’t speak to that with the same certainty and intensity as i can to the others, since im not muslim. but i do know that several writers have intended him to be muslim (again never committing in canon because comic fans are obviously not very progressive people), and muslim members of this fanbase have really connected with him. and i think showing art where he is muslim, and practices that in a loving and meaningful way, is way more significant and impactful than drawing him in a fucking santa hat.

it is actually very important for jewish people to conserve and practice our culture, and to be vocal about doing so. because people have tried to take it away from us time and time again. so to just brush this aside and say that ‘christmas is a coca cola ad so who cares’ (?) isnt good enough. because we were killed for practicing chanukah, so now its really important that we do. that we remember our tradition, and we pass it on. that we dont allow it to be wallpapered over in the name of assimilation.

all that needed to have happened was for someone to accept and admit that these are characters created by jewish people, to tell jewish stories, and act accordingly and respectfully.

so the problem, in the end, was that i was viciously and ruthlessly attacked for being a jewish woman with an opinion on something, and 10 months later deciding to get involved? i think thats a bad look babe xx

[giftofshewbread]

The Power of God

By Daymond Duck   Published on:March 14, 2021

Before I get started, I have read several articles lately that said Microsoft Outlook’s e-mail system had been hacked.

I have also received calls and e-mails from people saying they received an e-mail from me that they could not open.

I answer lots of e-mails every day, but I did not send the e-mails in question, and I do not know how to stop that from happening. (I advise everyone not to open an e-mail from me unless you are reasonably sure that I sent it.)

Moving on, in one of the most famous passages of Scripture, Paul said, “the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive shall be caught up [Raptured] together with them in the clouds” (I Thess. 4:16-17).

Here are some Scriptures about the resurrection of the dead:

Jesus was raised from the dead according to the Scriptures. Paul said, “For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures” (I Cor. 15:3-4).

Job believed God would raise him with a new body. He said, “And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me” (Job 19:26-27).

Abraham believed God would raise Isaac from the dead. He took Isaac to Mount Moriah to kill him as a sacrifice, and when he got close, he told those that were with him, “I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you” (Gen. 22:5). The writer of Hebrews said Abraham was willing to sacrifice Isaac because he believed “that God was able to raise him (Isaac) up, even from the dead” (Heb. 11:17-19).

Joseph probably believed God would raise him from the dead because he wanted his bones to be buried in Israel, so “Moses took the bones of Joseph with him: for he [Joseph] had straitly sworn the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you; and ye shall carry up my bones away hence with you” (Ex. 13:19).

David believed in the resurrection of the dead. He said, “my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption” (Psa. 16:9-10). Peter said, “He [David] seeing this before spake of the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in hell, neither his flesh did see corruption. This Jesus hath God raised up, whereof we all are witnesses” (Acts 2:31-32).

Isaiah believed God will raise the dead. Concerning Israel, he said, “Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise” (Isa. 26:19).

Hosea believed God will bring people out of the grave. He quoted God as saying, “I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hid from mine eyes” (Hos. 13:14; see also I Cor. 15:55-57).

Daniel believed in the resurrection of the body. He said, “And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt” (Dan. 12:2).

Jesus taught that the dead will be raised. He said, “Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation” (Jn. 5:28-29).

Matthew said many people were raised from the dead when Jesus was raised. “And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many” (Matt. 27:52-53).

Paul said he and many others saw the resurrected Jesus. “He [Jesus] was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time (I Cor. 15:5-8).

Those that do not believe in the resurrection and Rapture err because they do not know the Scriptures or the power of God (Matt. 22:29).

One, on May 29, 2020, Pres. Trump withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization (WHO) and stopped U.S. funding.

Leaked secret WHO documents show that the WHO believed China was covering up its involvement in the spread of Covid.

Trump accused the WHO of cooperating with the coverup.

Trump said the WHO was receiving about $450 million dollars a year from the U.S., about $40 million dollars a year from China, and the WHO was acting as a spokesperson for the Chinese government.

On Mar. 3, 2021, it was reported that the Biden administration has just sent $200 million to the WHO despite the fact that neither the WHO nor China has done anything to punish those that helped spread Covid.

Biden is reversing Trump’s withdrawal from the coming world government.

Two, concerning the coming global economic collapse: Biden killed more than 11,000 jobs when he stopped construction on the Keystone Pipeline; the U.S. Chamber of Commerce believes he will kill about 6.5 million more jobs with his reentry into the Paris Climate Change Accords; the new Congressional Covid Relief bill will pay cities and states to keep the lockdowns going (more lost jobs); his open border with Mexico is allowing thousands of unemployed people to enter the U.S. (free healthcare, free vaccinations, free food, free travel, stimulus checks, etc.); the cost of food and gasoline for legal citizens is rising; and America’s debt is approaching the $28 trillion mark.

Some financial analysts say the markets are showing signs of alarm over inflation, but Biden’s Treasury Sec. says she knows how to handle it.

World government, famine and economic collapse are coming (but the Rapture comes first).

Three, concerning the latter years and latter days Battle of Gog and Magog, in the last 2 weeks:

A Libyan oil tanker named the Emerald dumped an estimated 150 or more tons of tar and contaminated waste into the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Israel that polluted more than 90 miles of Israeli shoreline. A two-week investigation concluded that the Libyan tanker originated in Iran, was destined for Syria, and the pollutants were deliberately dumped near Israel.

There was an explosion on both sides of an Israeli-owned cargo ship coming out of Saudi Arabia in the Gulf of Oman. The ship and cargo were damaged, but the ship did not sink. Israel blamed the explosions on Iran.

An Iranian-backed militia in Iraq fired at least 10 rockets at a U.S. base in Iraq that killed a U.S. citizen.

Iranian-backed Houthis fired rockets at Saudi Arabia almost every day.

Iran threatened to destroy Tel Aviv and Haifa in Israel if Israel attacks Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Iran appears to be getting more aggressive since Biden took office.

Four, concerning a departing from the faith and apostasy: in Feb. 2019, Pope Francis announced plans to build the “Abrahamic Family House” in Abu Dhabi.

The “Abrahamic Family House” will have a Church, a Synagogue, and a Mosque (separate places of worship for Christians, Jews and Muslims), and it will have a fourth place for people of all religions to come together as one body.

Readers should know that many prophecy teachers (including this writer) believe the Bible teaches that a godless world religion will be located at the site of the ancient city of Babylon at the end of the age (Zech. 5:1-11; Rev. 17-18)).

On Mar. 6, 2021, Pope Frances was in Iraq (the only Pope to ever visit the land of Babylon, the cradle of civilization.).

The purpose of his trip is to promote peace, coexistence, and brotherhood among all religions.

He spoke to Christians, Muslims, and Jews at the ancient city of Ur (original home of Abraham before God called him to move to Israel).

Francis prayed for peace, but there was no mention of Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Worship without Jesus is worthless, and prayer in the name of other gods sounds like what is going on in the U.S. House of Representatives.

We have reached the point where the U.S. government is ignoring Jesus, the Pope is ignoring Jesus, and according to the Bible, the Antichrist and False Prophet will ignore Jesus.

Anyway, Francis appears to be trying to unite the world’s religions around Abraham (not Jesus).

Some call this new religion Chrislam because it is an effort to merge the faiths of Christianity, Israel, and Islam.

Those that support this new religion will have to abandon or change many of their beliefs (but Jesus is the only way to be saved).

This could be the rise of MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH (Rev. 17:5).

During the Tribulation Period, the Antichrist and False Prophet will persecute and kill those that do not go along with Babylon’s harlot religion.

God will respond by calling 144,000 Jewish evangelists, Two Witnesses, and an angel to preach the gospel to everyone on earth.

Realize as you are reading this that the Bible teaches that the global false religion will locate at Babylon when Israel is back in the land, Jerusalem has been rebuilt, the world government will have the ability to track all buying and selling, there will be global pandemics, etc. These conditions are appearing today.

Know too that the Bible story of Abraham is about calling out one man to start a religion to bring forth the Messiah (Jesus), and it has absolutely nothing to do with uniting the religions or creating a one-world religion that replaces faith in Jesus with faith in false gods.

Here is one more thing that caught my attention: While in Iraq, Pope Francis met with Iraq’s Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani (in a secure location about 35 miles from where the ancient city of Babylon was located).

An Iraqi analyst said, “Both the pope and Ayatollah are renouncing violence and killing, and both would like mankind to live in peace, security (peace and safety) and faith.”

The Tribulation Period will begin when world leaders declare peace and safety.

Finally, if you want to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

[adrianvsart]

memorable and overall funny camp camp quotes

well…after 8 HOURS, i’ve finally rewatched the camp camp series for almost the 5th time. and boy, was it agonizing to say the least. nevertheless, it felt very rewarding after i finished gathering all the quotes together.

ill be updating this as new episodes are released but these are the ones out to the public so far (not including the new ones released on the rooster teeth website as i will wait until its posted on youtube).

it’s under the cut because, oh boy, is this LONG;

Episode 1, Escape From Camp Campbell

“Can you believe it, Max? We’re getting not one! not three! but two new campers today!” “Yup! it’s really truly horrifying.”

“I’m not here to make friends, David! I’m here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don’t wanna deal with them. Why do you think we return the favor when they hit seventy?”

“Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here?” “Well, it’s definitely not because the bus only comes from the city to drop off and pick up campers and so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. Definitely not that.” “Heeey…language.”

“Suck a dic-” “All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Campbell camper! Is that really too much to ask?” “I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist.”

“No, silly! This is adventure camp! Ad-vent-ure! My mom said so! Unless she was lying…again. Sorry about that hand by the way, just exerting dominance, you know how it goes.”

“Max, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day!” “We’ll see about that, CAMP. MAN.”

“Tell ‘em just how much you love it, Max!” “See, that’s the sad thing…he still actually thinks that I love it.”

“Gooood morning, Gwen!” “MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Nurf, you don’t crank shit! Get down from there Space Kid!”

“What about that astronaut kid?” “Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please.”

“Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions.” “Hey, good for you! You’re starting to catch on!”

“[Pulling out guitar] Well, I’m glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing–” “No.” “[Putting back guitar] When Gwen’s not around.”

“You are the bane of my existence.”

“This is bullshit!” “Woah, check out the balls on new kid.” “[Looking down at her crotch] Where?”

“Oh god, it’s coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret.”

“Why would you help us?” “I’m an agent of chaos.”

“Oh no. I hope YOU learned, David! I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you’ve got three." 

Episode 2, Mascot

"Oh, he talked! Did you hear that?!” “Are you a gypsy?” “Uhhh…”

“[After just flinging the camp mascot to the next island with a huge rock instead of hitting David] Aw, man…That was supposed to kill you.”

“Well, Max, we were going to make hand-made ice cream, but someone killed our mascot and now we need a new one BECAUSE EVERY GOOD CAMP HAS A MASCOT, MAX!”

“Lady-sickness. My mom used to get that all the time.” “How do you cure it?” “EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH.”

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. Besides, anything’s better than hanging with DAVID." 

"Sorry everyone, just…really overwhelmed by all this friendship right now.”

“What’s WRONG?! I wanted to spend my summer in an air conditioned laboratory! Not walking around a future Wal-Mart parking lot!” “Aw, come on, Neil! Nature can be your friend if you just give it a chance!” “…There’s a raccoon trying to scavenge Nerris.”

“It’s resistent to charms!” “Nerris! Play dead!” “I’m out of mana!" 

"Uh…this looks like the place teenagers go to get stabbed.” “…Probably.”

“Hey, so, how’d you lose that hand anyway?” “[unintelligible mumble] JEWS [unintelligible mumble]” “…I feel like you should be more specific.”

“[Sigh] Well, I guess Nikki was right. Enjoy wearing my skin.”

“[After killing a squirrel] Mascot.” “DUDE! YOU FUCKING KILLED IT!” “…Oh.”

“[Aggressively killing animals] I AM THE KING NOW! THE THRONE IS MINE!" 

"Wh-Where’d it go?! Bring it back!” “Oh…I don’t know how. This is kinda why I’m here.”

“Where do we go now?!” “I don’t know! This was a really bad idea in hindsight!”

“I WANT A VIKING’S FUNERAL! LIGHT ME UP!”

“…Why do you always have to make things weird and complicated?” “Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal…”

“Does this mean we’ll be the Camp Campbell Platties?!” “No, I don’t think so.”

 "…What about the pussies?“ "Definitely not!” “Yeah, I like that!” “Pussies for life.”

“…So what’s with the Quartermaster and Jews?”

Episode 3, Scout’s Dishonor

“Ah…another wonderful day at Camp Campbell. All that’s left to do now is recharge with a full eight hours of lying in bed…awake! Waiting for tomorrow!”

“Alright, guys, our first attempt to bust out of this god-forsaken hellhole didn’t work.”

“So…what are you gonna do on the outside?” “Probably live with the animals. Try and get raised by wolves, maybe work my way up to alpha. Pee on stuff.”

“I think I’ll go to my dad’s house and tell him that mom sent me to an abusive summer camp. Pretend to like him more so she’ll try to buy back my love." "That’s really dark, Neil.”

“Where are we?” “Where happiness goes to DIE.”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME?! AND WHY IS IT ONLY CLOUDY OVER YOUR SIDE OF THE LAKE?!”

“God, your face is gross.” “…What…?” “Oh, sorry, that just slipped out…” “Dude…” “Sorry… I know… That was mean.” “It really was…”

“Oh, we don’t kidnap campers. That’d be immoral.” “THAT GUY LITERALLY STABBED ME IN THE BACK!”

“Neeancy, boys are supposed to be tough.” “And rugged.” “And if they pee in you, you get pregnant!”

“Y'all are some ignorant fucking cunts!”

“[Dreamily]…he can pee in me anytime.” “Tabii seriously, what the fuck?!”

“That was super gay.” “We JUST learned a lesson about stereotyping!”

“You know, maybe I don’t hate Camp Campbell, maybe I hate EVERYTHING." 

Episode 4, Camp Cool Kidz

"This sucks…This is the kind of peasant work my parents left their home country to avoid." 

"That’s fucking stupid, nicknames don’t make you cool.” “Pssh, spoken like a true first-part nicknamer.”

“No one’s TOO cool to talk to. Even cool kids take giant, uncomfortable shits from time to time. Helps remind you that we’re all equal.”

“Oh, maybe he’ll give us a raise! Or, tell me I’m like the son he never had!” “…Or explain why he’s wanted by the government.” “Or that. Yeah, there’s that." 

"WE GOT OURSELVES AN UPRISIN’!”

“Max! I am very disappointed in you for this behavior! But I’m also torn, because you were clearly paying attention during knot-tying class!”

“This is just like Le Mis! Ah, I love it!” “Don’t make this lame, Preston.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the hell up! Did you nerds forget who revolutionized this place?! I should be leading you! Not "x-treme sports barbie” over here!“

"Rage-against-the-machine-fight-the-power-9/11!” “Progressive buzzwords can’t save you now.”

“Like the minutemen of the Revolution, we will fight for our independence!” “Minuteman…mommy calls daddy that when they argue.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this. It’s only been a few hours and we’ve already gone shirtless!”

“Aw, man! Sooo uncool.” “MURDER HIM!”

“What are you kids doing?!” “We’re gonna kill Space Kid!”

“You guys are here to rescue me?!” “No! Shut up David!” “Aw…”

“No fighting! Violence never solves anything!” “STAB HER, BITCH!”

“OH GOD! SOMEONE STOP-DROP-AND-ROLL ME!”

Episode 5, Journey to Spooky Island

“I was VERY innocent and impressionable back then!” “…So, last week?”

“What’s scary is how much I wanna kill myself right now.”

“So help me if this involves vampire romance.” “I-It could’ve been werewolves. You don’t know!”

“Here’s a horror story, go look at the job market you’re dealing with after this camp shuts down!”

“[After a squirrel jumps out of Space Kid’s spacesuit] Wait a minute! How is it that you aren’t even phased by that?!” “Might’ve helped if I hadn’t put it in his suit to begin with.”

“Wh-what do you think about that moaning and wailing?” “Pssh, it’s just teenagers from that church camp working on those repressions again. Not that I know anything about it, just being a kid and all.”

“So…No dead campers then?” “Nope! We’re good!” “Damn.”

“What’s with space case?” “Squirrel-splosion.”

“Ah…So the revolution has begun…”

“Pssh, ghosts don’t exist. You die, and then you’re faced with eternal nothingness. It’s gonna be great.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?! YOU’VE NEVER DIED!”

“We’ll see who’s yawning when we’re all DEAD!” “Why would we…?”

“That seems redundant.” “Yeah, and I think endangered…”

“I AM NOT ABOUT THIS SHIT, NIKKI! SCIENCE HAS IT’S LIMITS!” “Don’t be so naive, this is mild experimentation at best.”

“You know what this is? Proof that the founder of Camp Campbell is a rich piece of shit with terrible morals and who also potentially kills people! …ALL THINGS I WAS ALREADY PRETTY SURE OF!”

“But the monsters! The wails! You can’t explain that!” “Actually…” “THE HELL I CAN’T!”

“Guess that goes to show that sometimes, the only thing scarier than monsters and ghosts…is real life. Specifically old people having sex. Weird, kinky sex. In a dungeon. Boy, that is…that is some dark shit.”

Episode 6, Reigny Day

“Under my rule, I WILL MAKE CAMP CAMPBELL GREAT AGAIN” “[Thinking] This is probably fine.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH NEIL, NURF? SHOVE HIM IN A LOCKER? MAKE HIM PROM QUEEN, ONLY TO COVER HIM IN BLOOD?”

“You seem pretty confident about that. Where were you on the night of-” “Shut up, let’s go find him.”

“Yeah? What did you think I meant? I’m not some kind of secret police or something.”

“[Nervously] All right kiddos, why don’t we take this conversation somewhere else, like another room! Or another camp!”

“We shall make an example of him! Let the hunt begin!” “[Thinking] This is still fine.”

“[After Preston destroys the floorboards with a crowbar] This has escalated quickly.”

“[Thinking, after getting nervous about the judges] This is no longer fine.”

“[Thinking] I can’t believe I lost to Dolph, he isn’t even a counselor!” “[Thinking] Plus he really looks like Hitler.”

Episode 7, Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected

“Please, the theater demands your utmost respect-” “[Through megaphone] SHUT YOUR YAPS, IT’S TIME FOR THE PLAY!” “Ahem, thank you Gwen.” “[Through megaphone] DON’T MENTION IT!”

“Y'know, Juliet should’ve done karate instead of kissing boys. HIYAH! Maybe she wouldn’t have died then.”

“Has anyone seen my phone? I must have dropped it while doing my smile exercises.” “Don’t admit to that…”

“Guuys, you’re just adding to my anxiety! If you don’t return the phone, I’m going to have a panic attack, and that’s on you!”

“Yo, did someone say black magic?” “[Facepalming] Amateurs!”

“Thanks for your contribution, an inanimate object stuffed with hay could have acted better! [Turning to the platypus] Platypus, you’re doing great! Stole the scene! Keep it up!”

“Alright people, get your SHIT together!”

“You’re up next, break a leg, buddy.” “You’re right! If I’m injured, I can’t preform! Hit me! Hit me hard! It’s gotta look convincing!”

“Our love is forbidden just like Romeo and Juliet’s but we will be together even if it costs us our lives. UGH! It’s so romantic, I wanna die!” “He called us cunts last time he saw us.”

“I’m gonna make that kissing scene so hot, it’ll be rated TV Y 7.”

“It appears, my son, in her sorrow, she killed herself.” “Nooo! [Seinfeld music]”

“Ugh. Why is he so sweaty? Robots can’t sweat. THIS ISN’T CANON!”

“I don’t know who this BITCH is, but she is KILLING IT! AH!”

“I need to stop this!” “Why? This is awesome! Whoo! You go girl!”

“The theater! The cruelest mistress of all! My career! Like the mistakes of so many teenage girls, has been aborted.”

“Oh, nobody plays Bonquisha like that!” “[In distance] Kick his ass!”

“What about me? Where’s MY apology?” “I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure who you are.”

“[Holding up a picture of Cameron Campbell] Have you seen this man?” “Oh, uh, I’ve been told to tell you no.”

“They don’t give Oscars for stage performances.” “That’s how good it was.”

Episode 8, Into Town

“What did I say? I said don’t do fire safety camp and political history camp in the same day unless you reeeeaaally want it to turn into riot control camp." 

"You’re still on fire, btw!” “Thank you.”

“Eyy, we’re talking here!” “The moon landings were a hoax filmed in Area 51 orchestrated by the government as a publicity stunt designed to humiliate the Russians in the space race!” “Noooooo! No! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

“Ah! Sweet 22.2 degrees Celsius, here we come!” “You idiot! This isn’t about air conditioning!”

“Just what exactly do you think he’s into?” “Hookers and blow!” “[Simultaneously] WHAT?!”

“Neil, you go be Neil in the nerd shop. Just stay here and keep an eye on the wagon. Get ready to haul ass if you see David about to leave.”

“Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, what lame place did David go…in?”

“Don’t serve your kind here.” “Your kind? Your kind?! Care to be more specific, sir? I’m calling you out!” “Kids.” “Oh, well that’s totally understandable.”

“Him? Yeahh, he’s a bit on edge now, isn’t he? Kept saying something about how it was all some kid’s fault.” “I know what you’re thinking. You’re totally right.”

“So, he come here often? Is he a sad drunk? Happy drunk? Gay drunk?”

“He beat a women?! David, you unbelievable bastard, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“[Coughing] Max? I think I’m dying.”

“[To Max] Don’t come back. [To Nikki] Come back when you’re 18.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t wanna drive him to murder! I just wanted to show him that his entire philosophical outlook on life is flawed and that the fundamental beliefs and ideologies he holds so dearly are trivial so that he’ll start crying himself to sleep like the rest of us! I’m not a monster!”

“You sick bastard! Your getaway from the camp is TO GO CAMPING?!”

“Just. Kill us!”

Episode 9, David Gets Hard

“FUCK YEAH, SCARE ME STRAIGHT!”

“Well, we’re gonna learn that little shit some manners, David! Because we are contractually obligated to!" 

"After all, there’s only one camper at Camp Campbell worse than him, and it’s me.”

“What do you want?” “Double desert, no activities for a week, and David’s social security number.” “Done.” “Gwen!” “SHUT UP, DAVID!” “Okay…”

“Today’s the day I get hard!” “Okay, maybe we don’t phrase it like that…” “Oh no! Rule 1: no backing down! Look out, world! I’m hard and I’m coming! Whether he likes it or not, Nurf is gonna let me in!”

“…So does he want to help Nurf or fuck him?" 

"You’re pathetic.” “And getting blood on my boot.”

“No, no! You’re being positive again! Gwen’s the fucking worst! She slacks off, reads garbage and has no idea what she’s doing with her life!” “[Angrily] What?”

 "There’s no time-travelling doctor coming to save you Gwen! Get your shit together!“ 

"Right! I know that’s probably hard to hear!” “No.” “And may have even been a little too far!” “Not at all” “But by golly, it seems to me you’ve never been very polite to anyone!” “[Muttering] God damn it.”

“Man, he is…way more fucked up than I thought.”

“[Sarcastically] Oops, didn’t see you there! [Normally] Just kidding, I was fully aware of the situation. I’m just acting out for attention. That being said, I do think I need corrective lenses, my mom just won’t take me." 

"Oh, so we’re doing the whole Freudian thing now? Everyone wants to fuck their own mom, get over it!”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” “STAB MY DAD!” “NO! What?! Why?!”

“What do you expect? I’m just a kid! Eat my farts, butt-nut!”

“Well, I guess it turns out at the end of the day…sometimes you just gotta hit kids.”

Episode 10, Mind Freakers

“Sure, Harrison, that’s it. It’s certainly not because I believe in the fundamental laws of everything in existence which goes against the slightest chance of magic even being possible.”

“Get rekt, Harrison. Why don’t you do a real magic trick if you’re so good.”

“Oh! You just got Abraca-OWNED, Max!”

“Yes, and it would’ve been even better if it had happened to Neil as I intended, but you get the idea. Magic!”

“I do NOT feel okay!”

“It’s not like I’m gonna loose sleep over it. [Later that night] Shit.”

“Yeah! I believe! Cut me in half! I’ll be fine! …I’ll be fine? I’ll be fine!”

“Okay, Neil. I got you, fam.” “I don’t know what that means, but thank you.”

“How does Harrison have the Gaul to do something so hurtful, ya know?” “Yeah, it’s kinda shitty. I feel-” “It’s like he doesn’t even care how this affects ME!” “You?!” “Yeah! How can he be so selfish?”

“I don’t know, Neil. There’s still so much I need to learn. I gotta reach level 4 and I haven’t even been sorted into a house yet.”

“Just proving that any idiot with half a brain can do that trick you pulled off yesterday.” “Wait, are…are you calling yourself an idiot, Neil?” “SHUT UP SPACE KID.”

“YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, HARRISON!”

“The only thing I’m killing is your hocus-pocus bullshit, Harrison!”

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all. Getting a cynical, close-minded asshole to believe in magic!" 

Episode 11, Camporee

"Guess who’s got two thumbs, diplomatic immunity and is here to host the annual Lake Lilac CAMPOREE?! This guy!”

“David, what the hell! No one told us about this!” “We’ve literally been telling you about it everyday for weeks.” “Yeah, but we never listen to you guys! Put up flyers or something.”

“Darn it, Teddy, you KNOW I’ve got a crippling gambling addiction!”

“Yo, David! I think I speak for all of us when I say that I don’t wanna become some fascist military peon!” “[Raising his hand] He does not speak for all of us.”

“BOO! Give us actual advice!”

“[Nervously] We just, uh, you know gotta believe in ourselves!” “Nope, we’re boned.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ! Campers, we are winning that FUCKING trophy!”

“[Innocently] Kill.”

Episode 12, The Order of the Sparrow

“Gwen, why is David dressed like a turkey?” “Because he’s fucking David, Nikki, you’ve been here long enough to figure that out.”

“Wow, that is racist.” “Seriously, are you offended?”

“[Whining] Do we have to?” “No, but-” “WAIT! Nevermind! It’s mandatory!”

“Tell us now, turkey man!”

“I can be nice! I’m the nicest!”

“David! You know me! You know I love nature! You know if I could, I would have BABIES with nature!”

“Resistance is futile, turkey man!”

“David. Witness me. Witness my love for nature! [Tries kissing platypus but it bites him instead] Ow! You whore! Let me love you, god damn it!”

“I can’t believe I frenched a platypus for this!”

“Life sucks. And we live in a world of desensitized, apathetic assholes. Why don’t you just get with the program and stop giving a shit.”

“That’s why I’ll never stop trying, because somebody fucking has to.”

“Wake up, buttercup!” “Nikki! No more arrows!” “You can’t control me, white devil!”

“Alright, I fixed it. Everybody hurry up and…ah, shit, he’s awake.”

“Max? Did you-” “DO NOT look too deeply into this. You suck, this world sucks, and one day we’re all gonna die and none of it will matter but if we didn’t do this, I’m pretty sure you’d kill yourself or something.” “[Sniffling] Oh, Max…” “Or shoot up the camp. I dunno, it was a possibility.”

Season 2, Episode 1, Cult Camp

“[Bursting through the door] Goooood morning, David!” “Goood morning, Gwen! Wait, this feels backwards.” “Yep!”

“But today’s the day!��� “[Gasp] You’ve realized your love of Camp Campbell and everything it stands for?” “[Happily] HELL NO!”

“Ha, are pulling my leg?” “No leg-pulling here, but we are keen on handshakes!”

“You know, I think now is the perfect time to use my vacation days.” “[Simultaneously] Aw, Gwen. Are you sure?”

“[Picking on Max after he raises his hand] Yes, Max.” “[Points at Daniel] Who the fuck is that?” “Why, what an excellent question!”

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” “Whoa, watch the language there little fella!”

“I don’t really know what you’re selling here, Daniel…but I am BUYING IT!”

“Oh my fuck, he’s ACTUALLY- [Banging on David’s door] A CULTIST! YOU HIRED A FUCKING CULTIST, YOU IDIOT!”

“Again with these cult jokes, Max? Please.” “He gave everyone a "de-toxification” diet then started spouting off Latin from a book with a pentagram!“ "He’s bilingual AND cares about nutrition?!”

“[Sweetly] Hey, David?” “Yes, Nikki?” “WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KOOL-AID!”

“I would just like to point out the fucked-up implications of specifically YOU [points at Dolph] putting specifically ME [points at himself (Neil)] into a gas chamber.”

“I love you, Daniel!” “[Gasp] But…That’s not right! Max doesn’t love anything!”

“Poor guy, must have been some bad fruit punch.” “[Sigh] You’re a moron.”

Season 2, Episode 2, Anti-Social Network

“Nurf, leave me alone, or so help me, I will post photoshops everywhere of you kissing guys!” “Woah! Hey, somebody’s a little tense. You might want to look into some agression therapy. Besides, maybe I already tried to explore my sexuality…you don’t know. [Sniff] Chris, why did you leave me?”

“Oh my fucking god! Is it always just adventures with you two?!”

“It’s a chat bot.” “What do you mean?” “I mean, it’s a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman, simulation of a person.” “Yeah, Neil!”

“Okay, okay. So maybe a couple of you might have critical thinking skills. Good for you, but other than that it’s all going according to plan.” “And what plan is that?” “The "get everyone to leave me the hell alone” plan. I’m a genius!“

"What could possibly go wrong?” “Everything, but until it does, I’m gonna go plug David into this thing and see how it plays out. Have fun doing…whatever.”

“Damn, Neil, you did that with graphing calculators?”

“This doesn’t make any sense. Every calculator’s running an updated version of my chat bot, but they’re all acting different.” “Yeah, I’m about three seconds away from removing the batteries from David’s.”

“Well I guess it’s a good thing we got them all. Can you imagine if someone impressionable and naive enough to believe everything they heard from a chat bot had-” “[Simultaneously] Oh my god, Nikki!”

“I can only hear about "shipping” people’s “bae’s” for so long.“

"Calculations complete. My analysis is…absolutely fucking not! You humans all suck.”

Season 2, Episode 3, Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak

“Get rekt, Mr. Waffles.”

“Actually, we’ll take whatever we can get, preferably we wouldn’t be talking to either of you.”

“[After kicking the ground and supposedly making the Earth shake] Oh no, my anger has manifested!” “Get to a door frame!”

“How do you know so much about it, Gwen?” “Yeah, I thought you had a…liberal arts degree.” “[Sighs] Associates degree.” “Oh, that is so tragic.”

“You coming too, Max?” “Still got those dice?” “Yep!” “[Grabbing the dice and walking away] Nope.”

“You can be the dwarf, because they’re dumb and ugly, just like your face.” “Aww, yeah. That one hurt. But my mom says I’ll grow into my looks.”

“Oh god! It’s chirping menacingly at me!”

“Anyone else want a twenty-sided asskicking?”

“Big deal, so you threw a bunch of dice at some animals. Kind of a dick move, to be honest.”

“This is a level 1 cave at best. There aren’t even any fire-breathing dragons or even a dang ol’ goblin!" 

"Oh, well, I guess that will work.” “[After the volcano starts to shake] IT FUCKING BETTER!”

“[After seeing the lava] Woah! Okay, well, saw the volcano, think it’s time we head back!”

“You’ve angered the mountain, Harrison! Gosh, you suck!” “I do not suck! You’re the sucking one!” “[In background] You both suck!”

“Oh, this is gonna be goood! Neil, are you seeing this?” “[Angrily] I’m going to hit you, Nikki!”

[indiasinklings-blog]

Steve Bannon & Donald Trump: A Love Story

this is a love story about steve bannon & donald trump that u should only read if ur a liberal who is ok with reading something pg-13// this is a joke and supposed to be making fun of them and their ridiculous ideas and if u don’t get that, i don’t know what to tell u

At first, Steve Bannon was resistant. “It’s Adam and Eve, not Mike and Steve,” he had repeatedly told Pence. 

But there was just something about Donald, that was different. It made it all okay. (And it wasn’t just that his dick was huge, or as Don liked to say, YUGE. Because it wasn’t. It was more probably just the mere fact that Don was President of the United States and had unprecedented power over the American people. This really tuned Steve on.)

Yet, one thing had somehow lead to another, and now, Steve was pretty sure this was love. Or rather, it might have been, had they ever been willing to admit their true feelings to each other when they weren’t completely drunk. But alas, they could never do that. That would have been gay, and Steve was as straight as an arrow, and just as sharp. That’s what he liked telling himself anyway. Steve was a true believer in both heteronormativity and his own intelligence.

“You should promote me to the National Security Council,” he had told Don one fateful night. “Okay,” said Don giggling girlishly, “I am like sooooooo drunk. I don’t even realize what I’m doing.”

Steve smiled. Don was as whipped as Jesus was by the Jews before they had brutally crucified him. It was kinda hot. After the executive order was signed, Steve allowed Don to run his tiny orange fingers all over his body. They didn’t make out though, because that would have been gay. They were as straight as the media was crooked.

Lately though, Steve was starting to get scared by how serious everything seemed to be getting. His feelings were intensifying, and he knew Don’s were too. Don was starting to become more demanding, and their relationship progressed past being purely physical to sometimes staying up all night just to watch hours of Cable TV and old, unfunny episodes of SNL.

This was not supposed be happening. Melania was already starting to get suspicious, although Steve suspected she was not ungrateful for the temporary reprieve. They would have to be more careful though; no more late nights together in the West Wing, or as Don liked to refer to it as, the OHHHH-val Office. Had their affair not been a complete secret, many people would have said that his orgasm pun was very funny. Truly terrific. But instead, his joke would never see the light of day. Sad!

“I know,” said Don, “Let’s just get rid of the EPA. Then we can have sex there everyday.” Steve sighed at his simple brilliance. There was nothing sexier than the strategic dismantling of the government, unless it was also coupled with the rejection of the mainstream scientific community.

“I know,” said Steve, “Let’s cut Medicaid and simultaneously also cut taxes on the rich! Poor people are poor because of their own laziness and ineptitude, or due to their own biological inferiority in the case of inner city people.” Trump grinned: “There’s nothing I hate more than welfare checks…. Unless it’s welfare balances.” This didn’t really make sense, but it really was another truly terrific joke.

For a while, the inside jokes built up, and the secret sex continued. They jerked each other off while making fun of the Hamilton soundtrack, and Don even gave Steve Bannon his own cute little nickname: Ban. In fact, the nickname even ended up inspiring some new foreign policy initiatives- it was both adorable AND capable of inducing severe real-world implications! A real win-win. (Don knew what that was like, because he had won both the electoral college and the popular vote!)

Everything was going great, until Don drunkenly DMed Kellyanne about the affair- Steve had forgotten to take away his android. Within seconds, Kellyanne magically appeared. She was an eight, an eight-and-a-half at most, but there was no time for anyone to make a Fellini joke, had they known who that was. Kellyanne was pissed.

She immediately went into damage control mode: “We could distract them with a made-up massacre or we could discredit the media before they get the story by calling everything fake news or…”

Don sent her away. She was always a total bitch, and always cramping his style. “We’ll just say we were doing it on behalf of the country. When you think about it, this is just our way of showing we will not let Mexican rapists aka “evil” dudes aka “bad hombres” into America; after all, America First!” This plan made total sense.

Don quickly rattled off a tweet- Kellyanne had also forgotten to take away his android.

They immediately went back to having sex. But for some reason, the fact that people might soon discover their affair kind of made the whole thing a whole lot less fun. It all felt very vanilla all of a sudden, and for once, Steve didn’t like everything being so white.

“I think we should spice things up,” said Steve, placing too much emphasis on the word spice. “Alright,” agreed Don. “I’ll send for Sean. I know for a fact he likes to alternate.”

[azonewithu]

I font gobe a shit about no one nutn anymore i have a black fuckn heart now. If i go join backbwith my troops thats the end og a lot of people Kate. A lot. Tons. They stay love me i never ratted snyone off i just left. Over drug mixes i detrcted theure scum bags. Theyre were dealing in fenty thevwhole time. Gor years n years when i slways told them if shoot snyone that yried to sell me that. Sone fuckn friends thats why i just leftbin the middle of the night when i should have just slept. I domt fuckn care about shit anymore. You beat up americans for 20 straightvyears. Then others get involved and you beat them up too. Then thetes no one leftvyo beat down theybstillbeont make ameds. Those ate the eorst kind of people. Im Azriel the Great Atch theyre mot do fuckn great ss me and i proved. You wanna get great get like me. But no ones that fuckn grewt thats ehole point of me. Assholes tryn to tell Gods fsce about God. Your stuck up snobby ass high putched bouce luymiye fuckn rat faced men got beaten up too. You think you think your husband or his brother could fuckn duel ja??? Youbthink theyd accept. If they did kiss them goodbye forever. With seord pistol or hsnd ta hand. I have modigied stenaline glands. Even my old crrw lnows better. I nevervtook abyones shit gor long before snsppnbst em. Ooo you gave a deug addict drugs hes missibg now and didnt pay. Ah ha good lick finding them loser. Leave thst fuckn kid alone. Youre slmost teice his age do he distespected you. We recsll assholes sometimes you aint perfect. My after hours never gotvtaidedvehile iveas thete no crazy fights i deaktvwithnsny problem perfectly. Killedvwhoever long before thry coukd be a ptoblrm to me. Allnthe kids were like we miss you giys younwere do much hetter thsn the new guy. Wed end up st sll their houses. It was hiarious thet crazy fn jew. Jason. Ha ha ha ha hes funny he makes me laugh at least hecwas good for thst. Everyones good in a way your highness even you. Thsts why i like you, ehats good about you inlike that kind of good. Why fo youbthink i like ding bat too. Yeah whose that. You may mpt know her but you know her we sll do. Youre like her in a way. A good way dont get mad. Are you upset youre not a snowflake that people are sll the same in many ways to me? Its yournposition that makes ypu diffferent but ya see i still like cslln uou kary. Ots a nice name Cayhrrines domrone secretary Katy jas fun is kind but bad ass too when she needs to be. Katys a nice nsje or Kate. Nice n proper. Youbenglish are fucked! Ya know that? Youneould tvwant to dfucln durl ne in any way either. Eould youbfrt slk fuckn mad and flip out i fuckn hope not. Fir your sake your highness for thetes only kne King of Earth and that is Me! So ya got one in the bank or not. You van bring charlotte we lo just have lunch. Mommy who is thous funny man. Then shed be all smiln st je like sny gitl my eyes soeak tonwomen wuthput me blinking. I would yeade her obviousky if that fuckn taco head ortega is too young your daughter is too. Im mlt ur fucon Uncie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahhhh ha. Im too dessly dont worry when i start talkn shopnassholes bscate quick. Because im tellin em. Beat it! Im Azriel im Psychic i mnow sbout anyone and i csn smell thst shit. If they font fucon bacate immediateky from Gods holy oresence. Ill staet staring at yhem and make evryone uncomgottable. Unless yhryve fully reoented snd made sll the efforts to try to make anends. I find they seldom do these types. Its not about the victim theyre fucjed. But keep doun it or do t relent ill know. If i staet dtsring after thstbthry betyer fucon run as fsst as they can. When my adrenaline kicks in watch. Watch how fast i diysmember them with a k bsr only.

The Princess of Wales attends a special industry showcase event hosted by the British Fashion Council (BFC) at 180 Studios, where Her Royal Highness presented the Queen Elizabeth II Award for British Design | 13 MAY 2025