#me teary eyed: there is no plot if these two fuckers don’t love each other

[afabulousjello]

Time and time again I think about what sort of no doubt batshit mind gymnastics must have gone on in the writing room for a channel to pick up MDZS for a screen adaptation, and I can’t help but be immensely grateful that of all the “forbidden gay content” they picked this, where the love between the two main characters was so integral to the plot, it couldn’t be no homo-d out of existence. 

Their love literally carries the show, I’m not joking. Wwx’s selfless love for his family and people around him may start the overall plot, but it it Lwj’s unfaltering loyalty to Wwx that continues it and their unwavering devotion to each other that ends it on the overall happy tone it has. I cannot stress how cathartic it was to see this kind of enduring love on screen. 

And like sure they toned it down, we get to see no sappy hand-holding or explicit kissing, but the two characters end the story by each other’s side: neither dies, is jailed or further reprimand for their choice of standing by the other character... 

And I just think that’s neat!

[m-i-r-k-a]

It was amazing and it still hurts

First things first, I have to stop listening to other people, actually wait, watch the episode and then form an opinion, my opinion. So here it is. I will only talk about malec, because they are everything and even though I do care about other characters and plot lines, I only have strong feelings (understand - I am only obsessed) when it comes to our two children. Sue me. So, last night, I followed the live tweets, got angry based on other peoples´ opinions, then saw few clips, calmed down, this morning I watched the episode while I was at the dentist and fell in love. This will probably be a little long, don´t feel bad for not reading it, I´d rather look at all the gifs as well...but I NEED to get it out.

Whatever I say, this is me. You do you boo, I completely understand if you don’t agree. Again, that is you, this is me.

Harry was brilliant. His movements, his dispassionate voice, his dead eyes. But it felt wrong, I was not enjoying him being evil, because he is our gentle, caring magical man and it hurt to watch him. I didn’t want him to be good at being bad. I did not expect this feeling, but it steamrolled and shocked me. The stark contrast of that last scene to the rest of the episode took my breath away.

Alan. I am in love. What he´d done was something I honestly thought was not possible. He was Magnus and I am getting teary eyed just thinking about his broken “Alexander”. I believed him everything. He was phenomenal.

Matt. Oh Matthew. You beautiful tall bean you. He is Alec. I watch him and he is Alec. He took this character that I knew nothing about and he made him real. REAL. Stubborn, gentle, loving, loyal, flawed. He deserves everything good. He deserves Magnus and Magnus deserves him. Matthew Daddario can do facial expressions like nobody else! I LOVE IT.

No guessing necessary, there were 4 scenes that shaped the episode for me.

The omamori scene a.k.a. this was actually really beautiful and I had silent tears running down my face. Alec, you dum dum, you should’ve listened to your heart. I mean, you believed him. Your face gave you away, the beautiful confusion and that breathy “just...stop” And yeah, having the fact, that Magnus carries the omamori with him, confirmed, yum yum yum. Also, the shoulder touch, Magnus always touches him there. I mean, this was just fucking beautiful!

The torture a.k.a. why don’t you just take a fucking dagger and mindlessly stab me like 5918 times, that should take my mind away from hearing Magnus scream MAMA over and over and over in my head.

The execution. Now. I wanted to write that this was the last nail in my coffin. But shit, this WAS the coffin. This was, hands down, the hardest scene for me to watch in the history of ever. We knew nothing bad was going to happen. But not Magnus. Magnus thought, that after 400 years, he would die in a body of a mass murderer, die for this fucker’s crimes, after re-living the worst memories, and being put on that fucking chair and gagged by the love of his life. Honestly, I want to say I get why it was Alec, but fuck, why did it have to be Alec. Remember how Magnus never wanted to get involved in shadowhunters business? And he changed his mind because he became a friend, a mentor, a lover? If I don’t have any voice tomorrow, it’s because of this scene. I screamed like it was me being executed. I will have nightmares about Alec dragging him to that chair and Magnus looking at him pleadingly. And yes, I am being melodramatic, be glad you can’t see me right now.

The reunion. Yes, I’m going there. I know people are disappointed, again. That they feel cheated, again. And I did too. The angry post is still up. But after actually watching the scene, I am honestly asking myself what more do we want. And I know, we want equal screen time. But honestly? I don’t remember half of what was happening in that episode besides malec, but I remember every painful look, every painful word. Magnus, our Magnus, suffering so bad. God, that was so difficult to watch and I’m sure it is not over for him. And Alec, this gentle giant, feeling guilty and apologizing and asking Magnus to please, tell him what he should do. Yeah, I’m crying again. But they will get over this, because they are meant for each other and I feel like I’m now ready to just go wherever the writers want to take me. Maybe I will not get what I want but I will get what I need.

Jeez, I can ramble. I can’t wait for the next episode, them working through their issues is everything. And Alec asking him for his DNA? We can all see he doesn’t want to do it. And I’m sure he will realize what a stupid dum dum he is being again and we will finally get that kiss I can’t stop staring at. Now go and watch @abnormallyadam ‘s reaction on youtube. He is the cutest sweetheart ever and his videos are saving my life.