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tomatograter · 5 years ago

Note

Do you have a list anywhere of your favorite hs fics?

I suppose it’s appropriate I make one now! will prolly come back to add on at some point, but as it stands

HERE’S THE FIC RECS: (it is quite long, click the readmore)

Last updated Sept 10 2021 !

Perpetuity => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835047

Written pre-epilogues, largely about mending damaged bridges after the game. I always mention this fic as what settled me back into hs as a fandom and dirk/jake

A Palate Cleanser => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642637

The jake eulogy we missed on candy. it’s real good. (now with a podfic version on the second chapter!!!!)

It’s only a canvas sky

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718544

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

(A good mix of fluff/angst/yearning, captures early & friendship dirkjake REALLY well, a good analogue au to their canon upbringing!!)

Sburgatoria => https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726822/chapters/49242167

What if we were four lesbians stuck in an uncanny valley real housewives purgatory-esque-suburbia and we bickered then kissed 😳

Prologos

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961157

“Sadstuck for the discerning jakeliker”

Magnesium Ion, Porphyrin Ring => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787465/chapters/51988876

Jade + Jake exploration throughout their growing up years, the relationship they had to their guardians and to one another between split realities and time.

I Know What You Think Of Me => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516589

You never knew you wanted vriska and jake to be friends but now…. you do! and they’re going to gut a mountain of salmon to get there. Hilariously masterful vrisrezi to boot.

What Happens In-Between =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240424/chapters/58409713

i KNOW you aren’t done with jaded fisheries observer vriska just yet and for that i’m thankful to say, we have a sequel, and dirk is in it to her great annoyance

Drive it home with one headlight => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281412/chapters/45856705

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend ==>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747519/chapters/62875855

EXTENSIVELY ILLUSTRATED!!!! Post-canon fanadventure focusing on jake, brain ghost dirk, and a very concerned third party inhabiting jake’s brain that isn’t all too happy with the current turn of dubiously canon events. Still updating, very fun and smart.

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886581/chapters/42220607

DIRK AND VRISKA. PIRACY. SONG. HOES (JAKE)

Sea shanties for Thots (Four kings sequel) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22210135/chapters/53028541

jake needs to adjust to his new life and occupation overseas, ft; more songs, more piracy, and schrodinger’s hoe. Extensively jake-introspective, told through his POV.

Song of the Pyre =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875459/chapters/24161439

EPIC SCALE vrisrezi space opera ft. hardass legislacerator Terezi & outlaw Vriska being forced to work together after they sort-of-accidentally kill terezi’s shitty clown ex. Feelings are caught, trials are held, there’s a revolution coming. Delightfully written. Reads as pretty solid and complete despite the 19/21 chapters done - ACT 1 counts as a book of its own, ACT 2 is solid.

Pilot Light, Pale rapture (full series) => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1403233

“They want you on Olympus, they want you on a faraway star watching the planet turn benignly. They want the original Gods in the four corners of the earth, protectors in an invisible palace. “And the Witch sat vigil in her southern eastmost realm, looking down upon her descendants,” they’d say, “and saw that it was good.

You do not have an Olympus. You have a house that smells like burnt toast, because Davepeta did just that only an hour ago.”

Prospit kids + Really Good and Fun earth C shenanigans ensue. Incredible insightful exploration on Jade, her childhood, and mostly what happens after the curtains close and she finally has time to be awake.

After Meat, Aftermath. (full series) => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420354

In one universe, college!au Rose lalonde takes barre classes. In another, arguably more relevant one, Rosebot peers into her life. this will lead to inevitable chaos. incredible rose + kanaya + vriska + jake + dirk focus and one of my fav AU’s.

*below are my favorite dirk-focused works:*

Detective Pony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427119/chapters/5371283

At first I didn’t include this one, having taken for granted that everyone had read it already, but I think as of ‘21 the fandom is a bit different and not many have. Facts being: this is the definitive solo Dirk Strider story; seamless with the detective pony book dirk edits in homestuck-proper, deeply indulgent, funny, and cathartic, one might even say. Also an audiobook and a webseries, if that’s more up to your speed!

A Eulogy for Laplace’s Demon (After Meat, Aftermath spinoff) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047735/chapters/47475769

A good jump-in point for AM,A but hugely more focused on dirk arguing with his own demons. Doesn’t pull any punches.

Dualshock Desertbloom =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428552/chapters/43651733

Dirk wakes up in a scalding liminal space and splinters his beta self out of his body like an amoeba parting in two. It’s a Predicament. They have to learn how to cohabitate if they want to try to figure out what the fuck is going on, and Dirk can’t help but prod and poke around to learn more about his twisted-funhouse-mirror-self along the way. Really meaty character-study, some of my favorite dirkvoice (and brovoice) passages are definitely all over here.

House of Dirk => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156126/cha pters/45530146

dirk and caliborn, in a sitcom, holding hands. nothing bad could ever possibly happen

Timaeus, Testified. => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479223/chapters/46368625

“go crazy go stupid!!!!!!” - dirk strider, metamonster

*Fun / short / thoughtful stories:*

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130925

Dirk freaks out and goes on r/relationships to try and figure out how to mend the semi-relationship he has with his weird roommate. (hint: his name starts with J)

Light Without Effulgence

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25986289

Rose is having a writer’s block. Jake is bored in the middle of his family’s own vacation. They sit down to mercilessly pick at each other’s brains, and the results may surprise you (not clickbait)

Interrogating the text from the wrong perspective => https://archiveofourown.org/works/615521

(Calliope and Rose have fandom wars. Its really funny)

Witching Hour => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620732

Eschewal => https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284384

jake goes ham

Dreamscapers => https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455073/chapters/53653849

Stygian blue =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23946412/chapters/57588850

Terezi and brain ghost Vriska have a conversation. (illustrated!!!)

Bitter =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30871334

Jaw-dropping JadeRose comic oneshot; meta, jealousy, crushes, and girls being a little off.

*FANADVENTURE CORNER:*

CHOICELESS HOPE

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100313/chapters/68850048#workskin

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You have been searching the depths of the FURTHEST RING for CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND, PRETEENHOOD NEMESIS, TEEN SWEETDIAMOND, and POSSIBLE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, VRISKA SERKET, for what may or may not have been THREE MONTHS.

Near the start of her search for Vriska, Terezi is offered a choice.

KITTYQUEST

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=32792&p=2

Centuries in the future, the daughter of jade harley and davepeta pierces together what it is like to grow up knowing your parents and much of your extended family are immortal beings. Incredible art, lots of really really fun cameos and incredible worldbuilding (Not epilogue compliant, barely credits compliant, remains one of my favorite extended pocket universes to this day.)

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=34750&p=1

It’s june egbert’s first night out! From the official TV programme summary; “Starring the one and only JUNE EGBERT! Who knows what shenanigans will ensue… Wild hootenannies? Late night pizza picnics? ROMANCE??? Tune in and find out on FAILURE TO LAUNCH!” this can only ever end well, right?

THERAPYSTUCK

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=36345&p=3

That’s right, buckos. The lot of you are going to therapy. Turns out after a member of the tight-knit god community (Sollux) decides to seek a little help, more shenanigans were sure to follow.

#fic rec #updated sporadically

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lockedstuck · 3 years ago

Text

moving your mouth to pull out all your miracles

April 2021 - Gamzee Makara

You don’t like the way your thoughts proceed on halo, helldog, or haloperidol, or whatever Karbro calls it. After you take it, the world feels blunt, impersonal, and grayscale, like you’re a motherfucking puppet with a head full of straw. Your brother used to love a poem about that, about some guys with straw heads, but mostly about the world ending.

Kurloz liked a lot of motherfucking things before he did nine months in Rikers for cocaine distribution. Originally it was only supposed to be six months, but he got into a fight and got three months added on. When he got out, he was thoughtful and quiet, even a word of acknowledgment seemingly beyond him. You’ll be damned if that ever happens to you, if you let the system hollow you out until you can’t express the simplest serendipity.

Right now you’re sketching your friends, quick sketches with the charcoal set Dr. Levin brought you. One of Karkat having a rare smile for June, one of Sollux and Roxy talking about programming, one of Dr. V addressing the group about healthy coping mechanisms, and one of Porrim braiding Calliope’s hair. You always feel more like yourself when you’re sketching or painting. Fewer thoughts in your head to get jangle-tangled together and create nonsense. You can keep your miracles straight this way.

You’re cool. You’re easy. You’re loose. No snapped strings, heads full of straw, or blasphemies here, no motherfucking way. The ativan caravan marches through your head, sings your sharp edges to sleep. Nurse Dolores knows what’s up, she only makes you take the medications you want to take. Your cognition flies free, like birds in a breeze, a calm going on between your ears.

Roxy turns and grins at you, her face pale as the moon against her dark hoodie and darker lipstick. She has a smile all her own, a knowing smile like the two of you are in on the greatest secret in the world. You wish you knew precisely what that was about, but everyone has their own internal workings. You can’t know and fix everything about everyone all the time. That’s what you were trying to explain to Sollux last night.

He’s a good guy, but he takes too much on. Same for Karkat. They take on everyone’s issues and make them their own. Only the mirthful messiahs should be able to do so much; humans like trying that hard is a minor sacrilege. If the pair of them would just stick to themselves, maybe they wouldn’t be so sick. You’ll fold more flowers for them - paper flowers that banish repetitive, ruminating thoughts.

You like Roxy a lot, though. She dances through each emotion in its totality, riding the waves of her feelings without fear. Okay, maybe not fearlessly, but with more abandon than you would expect. When she looks at you, you feel warmth all the way to your core, the way you are when you’re about to fall asleep all curled up in your sheets.

Speaking of sleep, Dr. V says that if you keep sleeping through the night, and keep what he calls “disruptive outbursts” about the Dark Carnival to a minimum, maybe you’ll get discharged in a couple of weeks. You’re not exactly in any rush to go home. Home means having to fend for yourself, and fewer friends to keep you in good spirits. Besides, Kurloz is home, and for all that he may be your brother, he gives off bad motherfucking vibes. You wish he’d be easy, like old times, but those days are a long way off.

You remember when you used to be able to relax at home. Relax, smoke a joint, sell an eighth or two, and have dinner without having to fend off your brother’s brooding.

Karkat takes the seat next to you, and you clap him on the back. Physical contact may be discouraged here, but there’re no narcs around to encourage law and order at the moment. You think a support team got dispatched to address Feferi wandering around with no clothes on again.

“What’s up?” Karkat asks.

He nevertheless looks preoccupied and far away. That’s unfortunate.

You take another folded flower out of your pocket and hand it to him.

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember; and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts,” you recall from a play you had to read in AP English a couple years ago. You can’t exactly remember what the play’s about, but stray lines here and there stick out to you like a sore thumb. Except neither of your actual thumbs are sore.

“That’s from Hamlet, isn’t it?” Karkat asks, shaking his head at you. “What’re you, the bard of 3 East?”

Now you’re not certain about that, but you’ll take it.

“Someone’s gotta be, ain’t they? I got more poetry if you want it.”

Karkat sighs. “Yeah, lay it on me, Makara. Dr. Vandayar told me I’m not getting discharged next week so I’m not feeling great at the moment.”

Poor Karbro looks like he’s full of thunderstorms. Maybe a calm vista will quiet him down. You pull a few lines of poetry free from your memory.

“I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach... I have heard the mermaids singing each to each... I do not think that they will sing to me.”

“Go on,” Karkat says, looking all at once pensive and a little sad.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves... Combing the white hair of the waves blown back... When the wind blows the water white and black,” you recite. Now, Roxy, Calliope, and Porrim have stopped to listen to you. You go on, establishing a proper rhythm.

“We have lingered in the chambers of the sea... by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown... ‘till human voices wake us, and we drown.” When no one says anything, you interject, “That’s the end of the fuckin’ poem, y’all.”

“It’s beautiful,” Porrim whispers. “Did you write that?”

You shake your head in the negative. “Naw, that’s some other motherfucker’s ideas outta my mouth. I wrote a couple of my own lines last night if you wanna hear ‘em, though.”

“Sure,” Calliope says, smiling and clapping her hands once.

“My muse distills my melancholy, pins it to the corkboard with a tack. She presses down upon the pigments, bleeds my blues into the boldest black.”

Even Karkat looks surprised. He narrows his eyes at you.

“If you don’t go study art or literature, or something along that line, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Ain’t no need to resort to murder, brother,” you reply. “And while I’d like to go sit in a motherfucking college somewhere, I ain’t got shit for tuition.”

“If I have to take up a goddamn collection, I am sending your ass to college. Tout-suite.”

You guess now is not the time to inform him that you straight up flunked outta college after you kept forgetting to go to class. You sat in the grass memorizing poetry and sketching the first dandelions of March, which got in the way of your learning anything or taking your exams, or any of the shit college students are supposed to do. You didn’t mean to forget, but you’ve never been great at any routine shit.

And you’ve always had a knack for going where your thoughts take you. When you were a kid, you would leave the house and walk up and down the streets of Harlem unattended. Your grandmother used to read you the riot act for doing something so reckless and nonsensical. Later, during your hospitalizations, you learned that the way your thoughts stuttered and tangled was called schizophrenia, and doctors medicated you accordingly. They called your prophecies delusion, and you beg(ged) to differ.

The medications ground your thought process to a stuttering halt. You hated it. You hated being cut off from yourself. So you stopped taking your meds. And here you are again, with your strange thoughts and remembrances.

“Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio,” Karkat murmurs.

You grin at him. He understands more than he lets on.

June winks at you, and then walks away to the women’s side of the unit, presumably to call her father. She calls him every day at 8 am and 3 pm, like clockwork. Karkat gazes at her as she walks away, the back of her short dress fluttering behind her.

“June looks nice today,” you say to him.

He stops staring and glances at you for a moment.

“Yeah, um, she looks nice every day,” he replies. “Not that I make it my business to notice.”

You point to the delicate paper flower he has in his hand. “Sometimes the most miraculous thing you can fuckin’ do is give another person a taste of serendipity.”

Roxy smiles her cheshire cat smile from her seat by the television.

“That’s right, Crabby. Dontcha think June deserves her very own miracle?”

Karkat reddens, looks at the flower in his hand, and takes off for the women’s side.

“Hey, Egbert!” he shouts. “I have something for you.”

By the time you see June again, she’s wearing the small red flower in her hair. Roxy gives you a satisfied little nod, then asks you if you’d like her to put your hair in braids.

“I’m not as good as Pomary with hair, but I’m alright, I guess. Your hair looks like some birds took up residence in it, dude.”

“Why, thank you,” you reply. You take a seat at her feet, after she grabs her comb, brush, hair grease, and spray bottle out of sharps.

She’s right. She’s not a thing like Pomary when it comes to braiding. You’re used to the gentle motions of Porrim’s hands as she manipulates flowers into your hair, but Roxy tugs great fistfuls of your hair into twists. It feels nice, like she’s tethering you to the present, to the here and now.

You tell her that, thank her for bringing you back, and she blushes crimson.

“Aw, I’m not tryna do all of that,” she responds. “Just tryna work through my anxiety. Dolores gave me an ativan an hour ago, and I don’t feel it yet.”

Roxy bends low, and plants a kiss on your forehead, right where your skin meets your greasepaint. Her lips are the softest thing you’ve ever felt.

She keeps braiding, manipulating your hair into cornrows. With Roxy near you, you don’t necessarily have to be a prophet or an apostate of the mirthful messiahs. You don’t have to deliver special messages to special people. You can just be Gamzee Motherfucking Makara, doing you as per usual.

#gamroxy #junekat

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riverboundao3ff · 4 years ago

Text

Riverbound, Chapter 20

Your name is MICAH, and ten nights have come and gone in what felt like a few hours.

It’s still early enough that even Lynera is still asleep in the next room over, which is really saying something because that girl is up at the asscrack of dusk no matter what night it is. You’re curled up on the sofa in the study, staring at a fungus-shaped nightlight that does a poor job of actually illuminating the surrounding area, and wondering what the hell you were going to tell your friends in the future.

Hey, guys! Sorry I kind of dropped off the grid for a while there. I fought this fucked-up version of one of my human friends, vanished into the literal void to take a nap because I was super tired from splitting a whole universe apart, and then traveled back to the past to help fight in a literal revolution… because I want to save my other friends, I guess? You don’t have to worry about that changing the future or whatever, I promise! I’m literally a god now, so I have total control over time and space.

Geez. You hope Vriska is ready to stop the others from kicking your ass.

Should you just go? You could easily spend the night on future Alternia and be back by breakfast. Teleporting still makes you a little nervous; the fear of messing up still lingers in the back of your head, but nothing bad has happened yet, so…

Yeah, you’re definitely not getting any more sleep. Might as well be productive.

You roll off the couch with a grunt, stagger a bit as all the blood rushes down to your legs, and then stumble over to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. Maybe you were about to pull up to the future to get yelled at by a bunch of teenagers, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean you have to look like crap.

The person looking back at you in the mirror startles you more than you’d like to admit. Their eyes are tired but wild, like a feral animal that’s been hunted to the point of exhaustion. Too-pale skin reflects the ceiling lights with an intensity that hurts your head if you look for too long. The dark shadows underneath both eyes are so dark they look like smudged mascara. You’ve always been very fair, even for a white kid, but you know that looking like this can’t be healthy.

Then there’s the fact that you’re still pretty underweight. You’ve been doing your best to eat on a somewhat regular basis, but you just don’t feel hungry anymore. It’s like your body already decided to give up.

And to be honest, the rest of you isn’t too far behind.

“Look at you. Sans Undertale looking-ass,” you tell the shadow in the mirror.

The shadow blinks in agreement at the same time you do.

You can’t look at yourself anymore. Moving as quickly as you can, you brush your teeth and do your best to assemble yourself into what could maybe pass for a functional human being and leave to go get dressed.

You’re rifling through your backpack for your water bottle when the lights come on in Lynera’s room. The bedroom door cracks open, and a messy head of pair pokes out, bits of sopor slime still clinging to black curls.

“Micah? What are you doing up so early?” she yawns.

“I, ah, I gotta go visit some friends a ways out of town. I’ll be back in a bit,” you promise. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t! A new cluster of eggs is due to hatch tonight and I want to be there!” she practically sings as she gets ready.

You feel the sadness leave your body as Lynera practically prances around as she gets ready for her shift. It’s not often she lets down her walls, but when she does, you can’t help but take a step back to enjoy the show.

“Give those babies some love for me,” you tell her as you hoist your backpack over your shoulders.

“I will!”

Alright. Here we go. You close your eyes and visualize Vriska’s living room. That’s a good place to start, right? You’ll have a quick talk with Vriska, you’ll go visit your other friends one at a time to explain what’s going on, and then you can talk to those who are interested about helping the rebellion from the future.

Time and space part easily as you zap out of Lynera’s study and--

“-- worry about OH MY FUCKING GOD.”

You yelp in surprise as somebody shrieks at a deafening volume right next to your ear. Instincts take over, and you spring backward into something big and hard. That ‘something’ turns out to be a bookshelf, as you soon find out as a couple of novels fall from the top shelves and hit you right on the head.

“Ow! Shit!”

And that’s when you realize you have twelve young teenagers sitting around Vriska’s living room, all staring at you in various degrees of shock. Nepeta, Equius, Kanaya, and Sollux are all on the sofa, with Sollux perched on the backrest like he’s ready to take flight. Terezi and Vriska are standing on the coffee table together for some reason. Eridan’s curled up on the loveseat with one hand on his rifle. All of the others are sprawled out on the carpet.

All of the others except for Karkat, that is, who seems to have been returning from the kitchen with a pile of chips on his plate.

“Oh, hi!” Aradia says cheerfully. “Wow, I can see your bones--”

“THEY’RE BAAAAAAAACK!” Vriska hollers, launching herself off the coffee table and slamming into you at full speed.

The air is smooshed out of your lungs before you can brace yourself for impact. Thankfully, Vriska catches you before you can eat shit, otherwise you would have probably just teleported back to past Alternia and tried this whole thing again some other time.

“Hey, Vris,” you wheeze, patting her back. “Happy to see you too.”

“Fucking HELL, don’t do that,” Karkat yells, stomping over to the sofa and plopping down next to Kanaya. Kanaya purses her lips in mild amusement and delicately plucks a chip from his plate to eat.

Vriska just scoffs. “Don’t be a baby, Vantas, you know full well Micah can teleport--”

“Eat my full ass, Serket.”

“Hi, Micah!” Nepeta trills. A general murmur of greetings follows that, some more enthusiastic than others. Sollux, Equius, and Tavros all seem to be very on-edge tonight.

Feferi actually hops up to give you a hug as well, thankfully with a lot more care than Vriska had. It’s becoming weirdly normal to know that this big-ass six-sweep old girl could crush your skull like an eggshell.

“Don’t worry, nobody’s mad at you, I promise,” she whispers in your ear.

“Huh?”

Vriska grins and clasps your shoulder. “Oh, I already told them everything.”

“... Oh, boy.”

You turn back to the others and try your best winning smile.

“Yeah, what the fuck, dude?” Sollux demands.

“How are we even gonna exist with this kind of thing?” Karkat splutters, throwing his hands up in the air.

Tavros winces. “We get that you can do crazy space-time stuff, but--”

“You’re in way over your pan, retard!”

Ah, fuck. “Listen, guys, I know what I’m doing sounds pretty insane. And I’m sorry that I can’t tell you how exactly I’m going to pull all of this off because… you know, time shenanigans. But I need you guys to trust in me, at least for now. Also, Karkat, let’s not use that word. It’s extremely disrespectful.”

“Who are you, my lusus?” he challenges.

“No. Should I zap over and get him myself?”

“NO!”

“That’s what I thought.”

Vriska snickers under her breath. Karkat gives her a look that just screams murder.

Everybody else still looks a little queasy. Guilt rears its ugly head for the millionth time in the hour you’ve been awake, fearful and taunting and ashamed all at the same time. If you could just tell them everything, right now, you wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore.

Tell them.

You don’t, because you’re a coward, but you do try and calm everybody’s nerves again. “To elaborate on what Tavros just tried to say, yes, I can do crazy space-time stuff. Which means I can do stuff in one point in time and it won’t completely fuck up all the other points in time. It’ll change things, sure, but it won’t erase people.”

“What about our memories?” Eridan asks tersely.

“Definitely not,” you tell him. I won’t let that happen. “If everything goes according to plan, things will just start… changing.”

“We’re gonna make a new world that’s better for everybody!” Vriska announces proudly. “That’s why you guys are all here today.”

“By our human friend fighting in a rebellion that was already lost? Setting aside the fact that’s… treason… that also sounds rather dangerous. Micah, you aren’t a great fighter,” Equius says. His voice is quiet, but he’s so stiff you could probably use him to prop open a barn door.

“A rebellion is a lot more than just fighting, dude. So far I’ve just helped teleport people around,” you remind him.

“... Still.”

Nepeta suddenly surges to her feet, eyes blazing. “I don’t care that it’s treason! Don’t you care about what they did to me? My whole neighborhood got burned down in a drone strike!”

“Nepeta--”

“No! I remember everything now. I’m gonna help them win, ‘cause, ‘cause… even though we all had to suffer, the ones who come after us might not have to.”

Nobody speaks for many heartbeats after that. Something about what she said rings inside your head, sticking to your neurons like glue.

“See? Nepeta knows what’s good!” Terezi yells.

“This is insane.”

“Yeah, it’s awesome!”

“I’m in,” Aradia agrees, winking at you as she smooths her skirt down. Your anxiety backs down a little at her blatant support. Aradia Knows Things, right? Surely if she thinks you should keep doing what you’re doing…

“So am I,” Tavros announces, setting his jaw defiantly. Nepeta seems to have set off a chain reaction, because everybody else sits up a little straighter, eyeing each other as if daring anybody else to go first.

“And I,” Kanaya adds.

Karkat groans. “Fuck you guys. Fine! It’s not like we can play SGRUB anymore.”

“You guys are gonna die,” Sollux says, scrubbing his face with the palms of his hands. “We. Are. All. Gonna. Die.”

“So are you in?” you ask, reaching over to poke his arm.

He smacks your hand away. “Get fucked. Sure. Whatever.”

“Yay!”

Eridan huffs quietly and crosses his arms. “Well, you guys are gonna need somebody with power to help. And money. I’m in.”

Equius turns to stare at him with his jaw nearly on the floor, and you’re so full of pride you think you’re going to explode. You should have known your friends would eventually come around. And with not one, but two whole seadwellers on their side, they were truly going to be a force to be reckoned with.

“I knew it! I knew you cared!” Feferi squeals, jabbing a finger at her ex-moirail. Eridan curls up tighter on himself, but that doesn’t stop a small smile from lighting up his face.

“Is that a yes from you, Feferi?”

“It’s a hell yes, Micah!”

Gamzee smiles lazily from underneath the coffee table. “I told you motherfuckers. I told you a miracle was coming, and here it is.”

Poor Equius looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack. “I-I… you can’t possibly, I mean--”

“If you’ll excuse us!” Nepeta chirps, effortlessly pulling her moirail from the couch and slinging him over her muscular shoulders. The indigoblood yelps indignantly, but Nepeta just prances on upstairs as if she’s carrying a sack of potatoes and not a teenage boy nearly twice her size.

“What’s up with olivebloods and being insanely buff? I mean, my girlfriend’s taken on a jadeblood and a teal at the same time and she won,” you wonder.

Karkat immediately focuses on you with the intensity of a laser. “A girlfriend? You’re in a relationship?”

“Micah’s got a girlfriend!” Feferi yells, picking you up and twirling you around.

“What quadrant?”

“Is she cute?”

“An oliveblood, right-?”

“We wanna meet her!”

“Guys! Can we please focus on taking down the Empire? We can gossip about Micah’s love life later!” Vriska yells, clapping her hands for order.

You rest an elbow on Feferi’s shoulder, enjoying being tall for the moment as she’s carrying you. “Ooh! You got a mission plan, Vriska?”

“You bet your skinny alien ass I do!” She pauses for emphasis and puffs out her chest. “We’re gonna go beat up a bitch for using lowbloods as FLARP bait!”

“Didn’t you do the exact same thing not too long ago?” Karkat scoffs.

Vriska scowls down at him. “Yes! Yes, I did! But now I’m gonna turn things around and help them instead, okay? ‘Cause I’m changing my…. my toxic behavior.”

She looks to you for support, and you give her the thumbs-up.

The others actually look a little impressed, which gives her the courage to keep going. “In half an hour Terezi and I are going to meet this violetblood dude who’s been responsible for a lot of rust and bronze deaths in the area. It’s a FLARP session at sea, so he’ll have his team-- I mean hostages-- on board with him.”

“You need a team?” you ask.

“You offering?”

“Of course.”

“Yes! But no passing out on me! Our goal is to neutralize the threat, secure the hostages, and deliver them back to shore so they can go home. Any questions?”

“I’m coming too,” Eridan says. He hops to his feet, dusting off some invisible debris on his pants. “That’s not a question, though.”

“Can I come? It sounds exciting,” Aradia begs.

“Sure! Anybody else?” Vriska scans the crowd with a smirk, as if saying You are all too pussy for this kind of adventure.

Unfortunately, it works. Karkat and Feferi step forward as well, which brings the team total up to six. Everybody else gets ready to go home before the sun comes up. Out on the horizon, heat lightning crackles in the sky like a strobe ball. You end up leaving your jacket with your backpack on the couch, because even for somebody who has trouble retaining heat, Alternian summers are brutal.

Surprisingly, the team figures out their FLARP-ing shit quickly enough, as they all played at one point or the other. You still have no idea what to make out of all the numbers and stats and scores that come with each move, even though Vriska makes it all look like child’s play. Karkat keeps grumbling about “games for girls” which has your hackles up until you remember that female trolls tend to be more violent than the males. That makes sense to you, especially when you remember Remele beating the shit out of that purpleblood and all of Lynera’s knives.

In almost no time at all the six of you are sailing out to sea, the wind in your hair and the smell of salt water filling your nose. If you close your eyes and pretended, you could almost imagine you’re back on Earth, taking a boat ride with your mom’s boyfriend and your stepsister at the lakehouse--

A particularly large wave knocks you back on your ass, and the memory cuts off as quickly as it began.

“Fuck!” you hiss, trying to get your bearings. You try as hard as you can to visualize what you just remembered, but all you can recall is sunlight sparkling off water, the rumble of an engine, a man laughing and nearly choking on his beer as your tiny preteen self got knocked around by the rocking of the motorboat.

A strong hand picks you up by the arm and sets you on your feet. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Fef.” You pat her elbow. “Sometimes it’s rough being a little guy.”

Her eyes are round with sympathy. “Looks like it. That reminds me, I wanna ask your opinion on something really important.”

“Oh, okay!” Wow, the Heiress of Alternia is asking my opinion on something? Talk about friends in high places.

… Wait, what was I trying to remember?

“What do you think of the hemospectrum?”

You purse your lips. “Well, if that ain’t a loaded question I dunno what is.”

“I mean, you don’t have to answer, but…”

“You know what I think? I think that the hemospectrum could have been a really good thing. Those who live for quite some time, paving the way for those who won’t be here as long? Sounds great. But then it became about power and control. And-And I think that if-- that once we win, we can’t go back to that system. There’s just too much trauma that’s been birthed from it that’s affected literally every troll to have ever existed,” you explain.

Feferi considers that, and then she nods in agreement. “That makes sense.”

“Oh, shit, is it big brain hour?” Terezi calls from the wheel.

“It is!” Then you do a double-take. “Why is the blind girl driving?”

“Vriska’s getting dressed.”

“Do you even know where we’re going?”

“Forward.”

“Bruh.”

Karkat throws up for the fifth time over the side of the ship. You groan and stumble over to him to pat his back.

“You’ll get your sea legs soon,” you promise.

“I hate the ocean. Why does there need to be oceans. I never would have thought I would ever say this but by infant Troll Jegus do I miss Texas. It’s hot, it’s human-racist, but there is hardly any damn water and for that it’s easily one of the best places I’ve ever been,” he rasps.

You smile. “Wanna see Dave after this is over?”

“Yes, please. Strider’s bullshit is the only thing that can numb me to the pain of occupying the realm of mortals.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eridan smirk. You turn to look at him in confusion, and he makes the quadrant symbol for flushcrush: two thumbs pressed together over the center of his chest, where a troll’s heart would be.

Really? you mouth at him, delighted by this unexpected turn of events. He nods eagerly, clearly just as enthusiastic about Karkat getting a boyfriend as you are, but before you can sneak off with him to get the tea his gaze fixates on something past you.

You turn to see the small speck of what is undoubtedly another ship coming your way. A ship that is much bigger and fancier than the 8rigantine, at full sail and most likely armed to the teeth.

“He’s coming on our eleven!” Feferi calls up to Terezi.

“Go get Vriska,” the tealblood orders. Her perfectly white fangs flash in the light of the moons as she grins like a shark. “Time to kick this bitchboy’s ass!”

#riverbound #hiveswap friendsim trolls #hiveswap #mspa reader #c20 #the guardian #beta trolls #pesterquest #homestuck

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thegodshavehorns · 4 years ago

Text

Girl From Nowhere

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are simply the best there is. No need to specify at what. You are the best at all of the things. All of them.

But if you did have to specify, you suppose that you would say you are the ultimate best at computers. In fact, you are the drunken master of computers. Nobody can hope to beat you when you’ve got a wine bottle in one hand and a keyboard under the other. Nobody. Not even you when you’re sober, actually.

That unfortunate fact has forced you to scrap your computer wholesale and just buy a new one several occasions, on account of not being able to figure out how to get past the new security system that you designed on it while you were drunk, or the password that you set at the same time. You keep telling yourself that you need to write these things down but you never remember. You have absolutely no idea why that is.

But what can you do? Programming is in your blood; when you are cut, ones and zeroes spill out of your arm. Your fingers fly not like it’s your nature, but like they’re responding to the thrum of destiny. It was fate, it had to have been, that when some rich dude bequeathed half his library to the orphanage one Croakmas when you were still a tyke, that you were the one who got the programming books with all those pictures of cats on the cover. You learned to read out of those books, for crying out loud. You were made for this. It’s your telos.

But you are not just the drunken master of all coding. You are also one of the many students to have blessed— or blighted— the halls of Our Lady Who Is Without Mother Or Father Academy for Girls. You are undoubtedly the best and most favorite of the superintendent’s, but she doesn’t like to let on that she plays favorites so she’s always yelling about how she’s one more misstep away from throwing your ass out on the curb. That never happens, though, no matter how many times you hack into her computer system, so you’re pretty sure that it’s all just talk and smokescreens.

After all, if she didn’t want to share the bottles of gin she kept locked in her back cabinets then she wouldn’t have put them there after you’d already picked her lock three times before, right? Nah, you’re totally on the best of terms. The fake mad face is just a part of the charm.

Still, she does have to keep up a front if she’s going to keep the rest of the school fooled about how much she actually doesn’t hate your guts, so she has to make a profanity-filled house call every now and then. Seeing as you’re the school's Little Orphan Annie that means she doesn’t have to walk very far, just down the block, so these visits happen quite a bit.

Most people avoid coming in your room. You did have a couple of roommates but you kept hacking the records or breaking into the records office and changing your file, and eventually the matrons just plain gave up and let you have it your way. And if they want to talk with you, well, they knock, or they just scream at you through the door. Which is what just about anybody does but the superintendent, actually, since you have been known to come at people with broken bottles when they make too much noise or touch your hardware.

So when you hear somebody enter your room one morning, you don’t bother asking who it is. You just keep at it, smacking keys and drowning your hangover behind a wall of monitors, towers, and books, completely dark save for the glow of screens dimmed to their lowest brightness.

But it isn’t the super, it’s a guy. Some jackass with a lisp. When you find that out you’re about to curse him out but, on a whim, you poke your head over the Great Wall of China and— hot damn, and thank your lucky stars you didn’t say anything, because this isn’t a jackass, it’s the jackass, Sollux Captor, the Mage of Doom, wearing some ratty moth-eaten coat over his godhood.

“Nice coat,” you tell him.

He shrugs. “They tell me I have to look decent for the public. ‘Like people,’ is how Kanaya puts it. She says it looks like pajamas.”

“Sorta does,” you admit.

“Fuck her. You’re lucky I’m wearing anything.”

Yeah, this is totally his protest costume.

But what is he doing here? You don’t know, so you ask him. And then you offer him breakfast, just to be a good host.

“What is that?”

“Pickled prunes, tripe, cinnamon, eggs, and rum. Hangover cure.”

“You put rum in your hangover cure?” Sollux obviously doesn’t know what to make of you— best person ever, or supreme best ever? You yourself know exactly how awesome you are, but it's more fun to keep him guessing.

“How else am I supposed to get a good start on my drinking?” Okay, you’ve nailed it. You are the best of friends or something now probably. Especially since he took a spoon from out of nowhere and is sharing your awesome hangover cure soup with you.

You eat in silence, or at least as much as you can get between the clicker-clakker of the keys. Meanwhile, Sollux is taking a look around your room, frowning, smiling, shaking his head, smiling some more.

“I want to offer you a job,” he says, and you want to do a spit take but the soup’s all gone and you’re just now noticing that he snatched your wine from out of your reach.

“Uh, say who what now?”

“Let’s just say that we’re very interested in what you can do. So I’m offering you a job at SkaiaNet,” he says. “And you will be given a place to study at Derleth University when you graduate from here.”

You squint at him. “Derleth? Ain't that a medical school? I do computers.”

“I need a biologist. They have a new program in computational genomics.”

“A little squishy for me, bucko.”

Sollux blinks. It evidently takes him a moment to figure out what you’re going on about. “I don’t need another programmer that I could outperform on my worst day. I need somebody with a tenth of Feferi's bioengineering and a third of my coding. A biologist with your special talents would have many uses.”

A biologist? What the heck kind of biology needs coding and hacking? Then again, it would be nice to have a guaranteed job...

“But there is a catch,” he continues, and you groan inside. “You’re a good student, but you’re still a menace and a delinquent. That kind of shit isn’t supposed to happen, by the way. With your behavior you should be flunking or something.”

You lean back in your swank rolly-chair. “Maybe I fixed my grades.”

“You didn’t. I would know.”

Aw.

He continues: “So you have to keep off the booze.” Wait, what? “You are, I have been assured, a functioning alcoholic. Nevertheless, you are also unpredictable when you are drunk, and I do not want to lose my investment at the age of thirty for the sake of an exploded liver.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re very good at what you do.”

You grin. "Pft, yeah, of course. So, what, the super recommended me?"

"More the other way around."

You blink at him. What does that mean? Your hangover is making you fuzzy, and slower than you should be. "How'd you know about me then? Unless I'm some kinda chosen one or something?"

He smiles, and your own grin wavers. "C'mon man, next thing you'll say you got me into this in the first place, that you gave me those coding books for Croakmas when I was three- oh fuck, you did, didn't you?"

You stare right into the god's shit-eating grin, and you don’t know whether to scream or laugh or try to do both at once. The superintendent doesn’t actually like you very much, does she? But she answers to a higher power that doesn’t care about that...

“You got me into this to begin with? But... you're not just fucking with me, right? This isn't just, I mean, this is really happening, you're not just nodding at whatever I say?" You stare into the mismatched lenses of his shades and try to gague whether he's telling the truth.

"It's all very real, Roxy. And yes, your intuition is correct; I've been interested in your progress for a long time."

"And you just want to play it all cool like it’s nobody’s thing or whatever, I just happened to be the best there is— which I am, don’t get me wrong.”

“Why would I select you, out of all of the orphans in the world?”

“Because I was... different?”

Sollux snorts. “You were a baby. What’s different about you?”

You take a moment to think about it. “You knew my parents. They were something special.”

His teeth gleam, sharper than any human smile. “Not a bad guess. But you’re wrong. You don’t have any parents. That’s why you’re special.”

You just about leap out of your chair. “What do you mean? Was I some sort of... cloning experiment or something?”

The Mage of Doom slips a card into your hand. “Study hard. Stay in school and out of trouble. Then maybe you’ll find out. And whatever you do, don’t pray.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, don’t call us. We’ll call you.”

The coat falls down around him, his wings unfurl, and—Sollux is gone and the room is empty, save for you.

You don’t talk with gods again for six more years. You manage to stay out of the bottle for nine.

#the gods have horns #godstuck #sollux captor #roxy 'mom' lalonde #godstuck fic #homestuck fanfiction #trolls are gods #revision #our lady without academy #first meetings

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cttrajan1206 · 4 years ago

Text

@regulusrain

[Author here: my humanstuck hcs are heavily influencing this lmao so u get Bengali Karkat, Vietnamese Sollux and Indian Maryams. Dave's still American though. I try to write in their quirks anyway bc they're fun and it shows how they say things but I Cannot WRITE LIKE THIS FOR KARKAT'S FUCKING PARAGRAPHS so he's gonna have something a lil less accurate. Also Yes I used my own ocs for this and Yes they ended up having crushes on the homestuck characters, I am Gay for them all and Self Project ok??]

Everyone in school knew Karkat Vantas. It was inevitable. He was so loud, you could hear him shouting at a senior who'd bumped into him from the other side of the school. He picked fights with anyone who pissed him off even marginally and had enough curses in his barrage of words to need his entire dialogue censored. Reputation preceding him, his dark messy hair, glaring shadowed eyes and light brown skin had become iconic behind his dark turtleneck that he never seemed to change. However, as loud and grumpy as he was, he was also known for being the wise mentor of the school. People came to him with their problems and through straightword and blunt grumbles, he gave them solutions and helped them through it. He seemed to be exceptionally good when it came to romance too, though noone had ever seen him so much as smile. A scowl was his neutral face and the tips of his lips only ever turned lower and lower.

Some theorised that they seemed to curve up a bit whenever he was with Sollux though, it was hard to believe with how often the two argued. Daily entertainment became watching the short Bengali kid shout at the Vietnamese nerd that towered over him the second either of them entered the room. Sollux Captor was mainly known for his daily run ins with Karkat and how he spoke of him fondly even afterwards. He was also the mega nerd of the school, behind the 3D glasses he always wore and short bangs was a genius brain that earned high grades. He'd hacked into the school's computers ages ago and the entire pupil popilation had him to thank for the wifi password. He always wore red headphones on his head that appeared to be a gift from someone and spoke with a lisp but had a sharp tongue when it came down to it. Noone knew why he even bothered talking with Karkat, the two seemed to hate each other yet they sat together at lunch everyday and he was the only one known to hear Karkat's quiet voice.

I had never quite bothered to ponder too much why it was like that, I was curious person sure but I wasn't too nosy. Karkat had helped me before, when some friends of mine had turned a little toxic. Like most others, I hadn't really tried to befriend him afterwards, the guy just seemed the type to be closed off even if you tried. I haven't heard of much successes from others who made the effort. Sollux had helped me with my grades too, giving me some study pointers after I'd offhandedly mentioned my trouble. Still, school wouldn't be as fun without the constant drama of watching Karkat merely interact with others, yelling at teachers at times and Sollux persistently poking him and pushing his buttons. What was surprising is that Karkat was quite studious and earned quite high grades. But I'd always wondered what kind of person it would take to crack a smile from him…

"Hey hey hey~ Who do you think will get shouted by the Kat today~?"

Joseph turned around in his chair to talk to us, nudging Polyp, who was sitting next to him, to join. They sighed and followed suit, adding on.

"No bets on Sollux, Susie. That's cheating."

Susie, who sat next to me, pouted but rolled her eyes.

"Fine~ What's the bet?"

"Buy us all a drink and sweet after school."

I chipped in, immediately seizing my chance for some food. Joseph groaned whilst Polyp laughed.

"Sounds fair to me. Not all of us are broke like a certain young man sitting next to me."

They nudged him as he scoffed, pointing a finger at me.

"I hate you but I will take that offer."

Clapping her hands in glee, Susie chirped.

"Whoo! Free food!! Alright, I bet on--"

"Now now class, quieten down. I have an announcement to make."

We were interuppted by the teacher slapping a book down on his desk to quieten us down. Silence took a little time but soon even Karkat shut up from his seat in the back. Pushing up his glasses further up his nose, the teacher gestured to the door and announced.

"Class, we will be having a new student joining us today. She'd moved into the area only recently so be nice and make her feel welcome."

At that second, she walked in and all of our breaths were taken away.

She was beautiful. Bright brown skin accented by the green makeup she appeared to have expertly applied and dazzling jade eyes peeking out from curly dark brown hair that coiled around her foreheads in swirls. It was chin length and showcased the glittering jewellery she wore, necklaces visible from underneath the emerald dress she wore, golden designs spiralling across her arms and torso. I could see Susie instantly swoon for her, eyes glazing over dreamily as Joseph seemed struck in the heart. When she spoke, every syllable was accented and clear, flowing smoothly like a melodic song.

"Greetings, My Name Is Kanaya, I Moved Here With My Mothers A Few Days Ago And I Hope I Enjoy My Time With You Here."

At the sound of her voice, many of the class turned visibly breathless. But I noticed her eyes had been fixated on one spot the second she had entered. Following her gaze, I saw that she was looking at Karkat Vantas of all people. He was staring back at her, seeming just as shocked as the rest of us but more dramatically, with his mouth hanging open and his entire body frozen. Jeez, it looked like he was seeing the ghost of someone he once knew. Clearing his throat, the teacher looked at the seating plan and began.

"Alright Kanaya, you will be sitting next to-"

She cut him off, shaking her head and declaring confidently.

"Actually, I Would Like To Sit Next To Karkat Please."

Shock pounded through the room. Karkat? KARKAT?? This gorgeous girl knew Karkat? And wanted to sit with him??? Was she crazy? How did she even know him? How did they meet? Did Karkat even realise this? Surprised, the teacher shrugged, and nodded his head. In disbelief, our faces spluttered with questions, watching in confusion as she sashayed over to the empty seat. We were all whipped around in our seats, a silent audience tensed in anticipation as she walked through the rows of seats of students holding their breath. We all thought she was out of her mind. Karkat watched her come, speechlessly gaping at her as she stopped in front of his desk. Looking down at him, her green lipsticked lips twitched before breaking out in a smile. And then, to our utter surprise, Karkat grinned back.

Lightning struck us all collectively, I felt my heart skip a beat at the sight. Karkat had never once dropped his frown the entire time he'd been at school and yet at the first sight of this new girl, he was beaming straight at her. And boy was it adorable. None of us had ever believed he even knew how to! I heard Polyp draw in a quick breath. Karkat didn't stop smiling, his teeth bared from ear to ear like he was the gladdest guy in the world. Seeing him so happy made him look utterly cute, I could hear a few of the class quietly cooing and resisted the urge to do the same. Standing up, he seemed to not even notice the rest of us and practically leapt forward to hug Kanaya, straight into her arms. The two were both on the verge of crying, hugging each other tightly. It was surreal. Within two minutes of arriving, Kanya had showed us sides of Karkat we hadn't ever seen for years. Now I was really curious. Just how did they kbow each other? And for how long? No one made a move to stop them.

As they broke their embrace, they took each other's faces in their hands and touched foreheads, whispering quietly. Craning my ear towards them, I could only catch wisps of the conversation, increasing my intrigue.

"...never fucking told me…"

"...Like Surprises Don't You…"

"...know I fucking hate…"

"...Don't Pretend You Don't…"

Kanaya chuckled, gracing us all with a melodious laugh. And then, to add another arrow into all of our hearts, Karkat laughed too. His voice was rough and scratchy but his laugh was utterly adorable. Susie collapsed on her desk, as if fainting. I slowly let out the breath I forgot I was holding, too stunned to move anymore. Most of the class was exactly the same as Kanaya and Karkat took their seats, finally noticing our stares. Karkat hid his face in his arms, seemingly scowling whilst Kanaya snickered again, calm and collected as she gave us all a little wave.

Sollux wasn't in our class but I soon heard that he had greeted Kanaya abnormally too, as if he'd known her for ages. Being beautiful and kind, she was quickly popular but tended to stick to Karkat a lot. The two were always talking. It was weird, Karkat who was so shut off and shouty looked so animated and happy next to her. He smiled more often, blinding us often with a wave of adorable and it was often you could hear him shouting sweet things to her and see the two together. He often held her hand and she'd cup his face as they talked - which they almost always did. Karkat was so touchy it was like he'd been replaced with another Karkat, sweeter and more protective. It was hard for anyone to even try to confess to her as Karkat was always there to make sure they knew what would happen if they hurt her. And still she would sweetly refuse them and they would never care because she was hypnotising to even hear. Her heart belonged to another, she would always say and Karkat woukd nudge her with a smile that she always returned. Instantly, rumours spread like wildfire of course.

Slamming her hand down, Susie excitedly arrived at my desk for break.

"They're dating I just KNOW it!! I saw them hugging again and playing with each other's hair just this morning!"

Shaking my head, I laughed.

"Suspicious, suspicious, we both don't do that ever at all."

Rolling her eyes, she looped her arms around my neck and hugged me with a grin.

"Yes but that's because we're both cuddlebears! And also this is Karkat we're talking here, the Kat who scratches you for even touching his hair. If they aren't in love with each other than I don't know HOW this is possible."

Groaning as they turned around, Polyp butted in.

"I asked them before, and I told you. They aren't dating. They don't like each other that way."

"You're just hoping for that because your crush on Karkat came back when yiu saw him smile!"

Sticking her tongue out, Susie rocked against me whilst Polyp's cheeks reddened.

"I am not! I do not have a crush on Karkat!!"

Susie giggled, smirking ad their face gave away their lie.

"Careful with how loud you say that~ he might hear~"

They blushed deeper as Joseph finally joined the conversation, grinning.

"Hey hey let's make a bet on it! I'll ask em if they're actually dating or if they're queerplat right now and the loser or losers buys us all a round of drinks."

Fingergunning, I agreed.

"You had me at the free food. I vote Dating."

With a chuckle, Susie held up her hand.

"Oh me too me too! I'm on the Dating team!"

Polyp sighed, rolling their eyes.

"Obviously. I'll start off the Queerplats then."

Joseph nodded, still smiling.

"Queerplats for the win!"

Then, louder and addressed to the back where Kanaya and Karkat were loudly discussing romcoms, he half yelled.

"Hey Karkat! Kanaya!"

Paused, they both looked at our direction, Polyp instantly looking away from their gaze. Chuckling, Joseph continued.

"Gonna ask one last time, you two dating or are ya queerplatonic or somethin?"

Angrily, Karkat shouted back.

"Why the fuck does everyone keep fucking asking? Our shit ain't none of your business!"

Kanaya laughed, setting a hand on Karkat's to calm him down before answering.

"We're What You'd Call Queerplatonic, I Have A Girlfriend So Karkat And I Are Just Very Close."

With a shit eating grin, Joseph turned back to me and Susie, holding out a hand and chirping.

"A 7-Up please!"

Grumbling, I tipped him off mock-perkily.

"CoMiNg RiGhT uP~!"

Polyp held up their hand too.

"I want a Dr Pepper!"

Susie groaned, getting up.

"Jeez why'd you have to pick the most expensive ones!"

As confused we'd all been with the scene that Kanaya had caused, things eventually settled back down to normal. Karkat was still a grump but less of a grump thanks to her and we continued to appreciate him as the wise mentor of the school - only now more people approached him with friendship in mind. But although some still doubted over whether the two were lying about dating, it soon became evidant they weren't when He came along. The second new kid to surprise us.

"Settle down class, we have a new pupil with us today. Come on in and introduce yourself."

Just like Kanaya, the second we saw him, we felt an impact. With a confident smirk underneath a splatter of freckles, I was instantly reminded of Sollux and his 3D glasses by the new kid's sunglasses. Wavy blonde bangs dyed red were swept to the side over his sideburns and pale skin. He held an air of swagger around him, hands in his jeans pockets with black and red headphones looped around his neck atoo his turntables t shirt. He looked good and he knew it. Nodding his head, he loudly spoke, his face giving nothing away yet we all knew he was looking straight at Karkat from behind his shades.

"Yo. I'm Dave. Gonna be here from now on I guess. Nice to meet ya."

I could hear Joseph whisper a panicked 'fuck' under his breath and chuckled to myself. Glancing back, I saw Karkat bite his lip, his arms folded as he looked away from Dave. Kanaya waved with a small smile. The teacher sat him in the middle, a couple seats in front of Karkat. We all watched him saunter to his seat, wondering if he'd make a big show like what happened last time. Instead, he sat down in his seat quietly and smirked at us.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

A few laughs murmured through the class and we focused on the lessons again, relaxed and chill. It was disappointing that nothing else big was going to happen but we didn't really care. Or so we thought.

"Hey Kitkat, you come here too huh?"

Everyone heard it. Everyone snapoed their necks to look back and see it. Everyone thought one collective thought.

'He's gonna die.'

Normally when people used nicknames for Karkat they knew to use them well out of his earshot or very quietly. The Kat was most comminly used as he didn't always notice it was him. But this cocky dude had sauntered over to his desk, slammed an arm down next to Karkat's shoulder and leaned down to say it right next to his ear. There was no way he was going to leave here alive. However, to our surprise and shock, we saw something never believed possible to see so clearly on Karkat's face.

He was flushed red. Stuttering, his cheeks reddened further as he looked up at Dave's shit eating grin and screeched.

"W-What the fuck did you just call me?"

"Didn'tcha hear me? I know you aren't deaf Kitkat."

Shrieking, Karkat swiped upwards and attacked him, punching his face whilst Dave laughed. The rest of us watched in disbelief. What was going on?? What was that?? Did Karkat really just blush? Did KARKAT of all people just blush and stutter?? Intrigued, I set a mental note to pay more attention to these two. Things might get a little more interesting…

And they did. Immensely so. As touchy as Karkat and Kanaya had been with each other, that was nothing to how often Dave looped his arn around Karkat's waist and tousled his hair. He had come up with an army of nicknames for Karkat, often ranging from "Kitkat" to "Crabby" to "My Sweet". It was a miracle he was still standing, Karkat always reddened and then flew in a rage at him. The mystery was soleved as the fights began to simmer down and it was noticed that Karkat often slipped his hand into Dave's as they walked, that Dave leaned into his shoulder as they sat together with Kanaya and Sollux for lunch and how Karkat would sometimes flat out lean his head on Dave's to look at his work. They were admittedly adorable together, though Polyp gave up on ever pursuing their crush when they accidentally saw the two share a short kiss after school. Eventually, Karkat even picked up on Dave's nicknaming habit and began to call him some too. Everyone realised they were the ones dating and everyone enjoyed watching it happen.

Everyone in school knows Karkat Vantas. It was inevitable. You could hear him shouting at Sollux from a mile away, you could feel him glaring at you whilst you tried to talk to Kanaya and you could always see him making his boyfriend Dave blush with sweet compliments. Our entertainment turned from watching him yell at other everyday to seeing his reality drama play out like we were the audience. And we enjoyed every last second of it.

[akshdkdhf this amounted to roughly 3K and I do not regret it lmao. I hope this turned out ok!! Your prompt was just so cute and I loved it so much I had to try!! I dont normally do outside POV's lmao so this was fun to try]

I just got what I think would be a cute idea.

Ok, so. First of all, I LOVE outside POVs. It's just good. POV of random people - they don't know everything so you can see things from a new angle ? I love it.

So, context. Humanstuck, Karkat is his usual Karkat at school - loud, grumpy and while being kinda mean to people that bothers him, he still helps people with problems. He's just like that. His only friend in the same school is Sollux (they have this "everybody think they hate each other bc they're constantly arguing but they're actually best friends" relationship, and while I strongly ship Solkat, it's not the focus here), all his other friends are far away. Nobody in school except Sollux saw him smile, ever. So, here he's in a moiraillegiance with Kanaya, but since it's humanstuck, let's say they are in a queerplatonic relationship. They talk every day, video chat every two days - they're very close, just not physically :/ but one day Kanaya's parents (Porrim ???) decide to move to *wherever the fuck Karkat and Sollux are*. Kanaya is very excited to FINALLY see her moirail IRL, but she doesn't tell Karkat - surprise, you see. So, the scene is this : it's a normal class, Karkat is grumpy as usual, people (maybe the one whose POV it is ? Idk) are making bets on who will get shouted at by Karkat today, and then the teacher announces a new student. Yes it's Kanaya. Everyone is in awe, because it's *Kanaya*. She's beautiful. Karkat is completely baffled. The teacher starts to tell her to sit somewhere but she interrupts by something like "actually, I would like to sit with Karkat". Everyone is surprised because 1) she knows Karkat, 2) she knows Karkat and she still wants to sit with him, 3) why does someone soo cool and pretty wants to sit with KARKAT ??? The teacher is as surprised as the students, so he allows it. Everybody is morbidly curious to see how it will turn out. When she reaches Karkat, she just smiles. And then, the miracle. Karkat smiles. A huge, blinding, "did you eat the sun" smile. Everyone in the class is hit by a wave of "HE CAN SMILE ???" and "OH MY GOD HE'S CUTE". Collective shock. Karkat (to more collective shock) just gets up and hugs Kanaya, who returns the hug with enthusiasm. They touch foreheads while whispering to each other (-am I writing public pale porn???) and some of the students actually faint (joking, but they are really REALLY surprised). After that, there's a wave of rumors, but nobody can really guess if they are dating or not, because despite being very touchy, very protective of each other and disgustingly sweet, they say that they're not in a romantic relationship (I just want pale Kankar being awfully sweet...)

I had an other version, with Dave (I just love DaveKat) where Dave was the one moving and people at school were "he's going to get killed" when Dave called Karkat pet names and then everyone being "?????" when Karkat blushed instead of attacking Dave like he would have with anyone else (he attacked right after, of course. But he blushed first).

#cttrajan #drabbles #homestuck #davekat #pale kankar #humanstuck

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