#me shielding gale from mystra: bitch

[harcove]

Man, FUCK Mystra, all my homies HATE MYSTRA

[thecagedbard]

Oh Look, another Tav story! This is currently posted over on AO3 in its entirety but I thought I’d post it to tumblr as well. If you’d like to sneak a peak at some of the chapter names, if you don’t want to read the whole thing yet, have a listen to the title playlist: here.  There is also just the ‘Here’s what I was listening to while writing' playlist, and my Faetrala Uncaged playlist which serves as inspiration for Vesper’s siblings.  A lot of the songs tend to overlap but who knows, you might find one you enjoy. 

Rating: Mature

Pairing(s): Astarion/Tav (Vesper), Astarion/Halsin, Astarion/Halsin/Tav(Vesper); Mentions of Karlach/Shadowheart/Wyll; Mentions of Gale/AFAB OC

Warnings:  Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Canon Divergence, Child Death

Word count: 8,897/300,000+

Summary: Vesper needed someone to protect her from an abusive husband should he appear after she was abducted by mind flayers. Astarion needed someone to fall for him so he had protection from Cazador. He's got two hundred years of manipulation and she has the soft heart of a lamb being led to slaughter. While subconsciously healing each other they both realize they also need to heal the druid of all damned people.

Chapter Nine

“You know, I have to say,” Gale said as he perched on the boat next to Vesper, “that was quite the farewell you got from Astarion this morning.” He kept his voice low so the duergar who had boarded their vessel didn’t overhear. “I hadn’t realized the two of you were so close,” Vesper turned and looked at the wizard, thankful that the illusory image of her sister kept him from seeing her flushed cheeks, though it didn’t do much to hide her rounded eyes as she looked away quickly.

The corners of her mouth were upturned, “You may be the only if even Halsin caught on.” Gale lifted his hand to his chest, “You wound me. I knew you were close but not so close to have such a passionate goodbye in front of everyone. Though, perhaps, I am just a little more conservative in my own acts of affection.” The bard’s head tilted and she leaned close to the wizard, her voice low as she teased him about his own relationship with Mystra, “Conservative or just astrally adventurous.” Gales's mouth formed an ‘O’ shape as he chuckled, “Fair enough. I’m done teasing I suppose…truly I just wanted to keep your mind clear. After our breakfast intervention and knowing what we’re coming up to…I must admit I’m worried. About you, I mean.” 

Sparing him a glance as she turned to look behind them, Vesper nodded, “Thank you. I’ll be okay I think…as long as they don’t turn their rods on me at least.”

That morning, Vesper had awoken to several terse voices not far from the tent. When she emerged, her hand rubbing her tired eyes, she saw everyone around the fire. “None of you thought to tell her that you saw into her dreams?” Astarion had said and Karlach glanced behind her as she rounded the corner. “It’s not that, Astarion,” the tiefling said, keeping her eyes on the drow, “We didn’t know how to bring it up. That’s part of the reason I want Vesper to wear that ring of mind shielding…not because I don’t want to share your dreams,” she began to address the bard in the back who was trying to disappear back into the tent, “but because I don’t want you to share something you’re not comfortable sharing. That’s all!” 

Astarion turned and looked at the drow before crooking his fingers, “None of you thought how she’d feel learning about it later, did you?” He turned and looked at Shadowheart, “For someone so secretive about her own self you don’t seem to mind sharing others' histories…even things they haven’t told people themselves.” When Vesper got close enough he looked at her again, “We all have a past. Karlach was sold to Zariel. I was tricked into my slavery to Cazador. Wyll is Mizora’s little bitch…none of us want to talk about the horrible things that happened to us. No one has poked at Wyll about what he experienced as he was dragged through the hells.”

The warlock opened his mouth before closing it. The bard was unsure if he was going to share or defend himself.

“All I’m saying is that perhaps you could all have a little heart and not tell everyone the awful things that have happened to our bard,” Astarion tilted his head as he looked at Shadowheart. The cleric was watching Vesper though, she adjusted her jaw before speaking, “I’m sorry, Vesper. Astarion’s right…I had no right to share what I did with Halsin or Gale and Wyll.” Vesper nodded and Astarion huffed, “That’s it? Just going to forgive them that easily?”

The bard turned to look at him, “What can I say?” she shrugged, “First apologies in ten years may sway me more than anger…” The high elf cleared his throat and pursed his lips. Karlach’s face fell, “I’d give you the biggest hug if I could Vesper…” she turned to look at them around the fire and showed a tense smile.

There was a tense silence as they all looked around before Lae’zel spoke up, “Who is this Mariwen…why did that man say it was your fault?” The other’s heads whipped around to the githyanki, “Just because the rest of you prattle on and gossip does not mean I too did not experience the dream.” Slowly the attention of those around the campfire turned back to the bard and she took a shaky breath, warmth enveloped the middle of her back. Looking up Halsin stood on one side of her, his head bowing in a nod; with another breath, Vesper launched into her story about her children again. 

Unlike the night before where she kept glancing at the druid, this time she kept her eyes on the fire as it danced within the pit.

“Someone hug her, I can’t…” pleaded Karlach as Vesper finished. Wyll was quick to acquiesce to Karlach’s request, his arms encircling the bard’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry for your losses,” he whispered to her before stepping back. The redhead lifted her eyes to meet him, she knew her body had gone stiff the moment he embraced her, “Thank you.”  

She listened to them as they talked more agreeing that from now on if there was a dream shared through the tadpole to talk to the person they believe it came from. Karlach approached her as the others began cooking and held out the ring she’d received for telling Omeluum the story of how they’d gotten to the underdark, “Seriously. Keep this. If it’ll work to keep your thoughts your own, you deserve it.” Vesper tilted her head up and gave the tiefling a genuine smile before nodding, “And if we have to go to Baldur’s Gate, point that prick out to me the moment you see him. I’d like to have some words…between his arse and my foot.” 

Preparations to leave had been started, Gale had been the one to suggest she disguise herself before leaving camp. Astarion jerked his head up and moved rather swiftly to her side, “Before you do,” was all the warning she had before he grabbed her hip with one hand and pulled her close. Vesper had practically shrieked when she was forcibly moved, and frozen for just a moment before melting into Astarion’s kiss. Thankfully she couldn’t hear the low whistle Karlach let out as her hands fisted in his cotton tunic, but the tangy metallic taste against her tongue after she opened her mouth to the rogue’s prodding made her push at him just the tiniest bit. He leaned back, his tongue wetting his own lips, “I was going to wait but I’d rather see this than a false image of that sister of yours.” The bard was dazed as she stepped away from him and nodded, “Right. That….that makes sense.” 

Thinking back on it now, on this rickety little boat, her lip began to tingle as she pressed them together. Gale pointed just past her, “My spell isn’t nearly as powerful as your eyesight, but there’s something just ahead.” Vesper pulled back from her musings to look in the direction he pointed, he was right. Large statues loomed ahead, she stood up and braced herself as they neared.

Thankfully, Vesper’s lack of knowledge of how Lloth's sworn drow behaved didn’t cause any issues. She just pulled on all the mannerisms her sister embodied over nineteen years of knowing her. At the very least these underdwarves couldn’t tell the difference. 

“Something wrong?” questioned Shadowheart as the spiders ran off to find Lloth’s faithful. “Oh, I’m just beginning to wonder if my sister was perhaps darker than I thought…” replied the bard as she continued to look around, “Have you found anywhere worth trying to summon the others?” Gale nodded, “There’s a locked door in this direction, I had to agree to throw some gnomes into the dark waters but it should be safe for you to…” he cleared his throat, “unlock.”

Lae’zel searched the pockets of the dead gnomes while Shadowheart and Gale kept an eye on the duergar; Vesper kneeled at the door her tongue poking between her teeth as she worked on the lock. “Any luck yet,” asked Shadowheart. “This is different from the locks he had me practicing on last night…it’ll just take a minute…Oh, I got one,” the bard bounced before focusing again.

“It’s almost adorable how excited you are about your criminal education,” Gale said with his head turned, so the bard could hear him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but I didn’t exactly take you as a sneaky thief type,” he waved a dismissive hand. Shadowheart laughed softly, “Not everyone is as they appear, Gale. Not to mention besides the bad we know about our dear bard, we don’t know much about your life before.”

Another pin stuck, and the door shifted, “Got it, let's go.” She stood and began pocketing the tools before she pushed the door open, “And we,” she looked at the wizard as he stepped up beside her, “did whatever we had to do to survive. I’m a much better pickpocket…” Gale raised a brow as they walked through the Nightfeast. “Is that so?” he pressed a button that was against the wall, “Much practice doing that?”

Vesper nodded as she balanced over the unleveled floor, “When I was much younger my brother Vale would play while one of our sisters danced, people would be so caught up in their drinks or the entertainment they never saw Perris and me rifling through their pockets. And of course, if they caught us we were fast enough to get away and Lothaire would just bully them into leaving us be.” She smiled fondly, “I miss them sometimes.”

Carefully sneaking by the two acid pools, Lae’zel spied the two large acidic blobs that clung to the ceiling, Gale found an area to begin his ritual. “I’ll leave the chalk markings here in case we need to come back later, just give me enough time to gather the others,” he looked at Lae’zel and Shadowheart who then looked at one another and nodded. It was Vesper they had to stop from wandering off though, the bard was too curious about what else this area of the place was hiding. 

When the others arrived, it took a little bit of time for Gale to perform the ritual the second time, they set out. They found a gnome with a large container of rune powder, the bard was practically a sweaty mess when the gnome gave them a vial of the powder and left with the larger one. She had to sit down after that.

“I think we’re better off trying to save the drow…or well, are we saving him or leaving him to die. Either way is fine with me, we just need his head,” Astarion said as he walked around the area where the gnome had been hiding. He was searching the bookshelves and looking over the stone tablets.

“We have to save the gnomes, Astarion,” Karlach said.

“Ugh, why must it be gnomes…”

Wyll pointed at the spawn, “You said something similar when we saved that man from the goblins back in Moonhaven. What do you have against them?”

“Nothing I suppose, just one of Cazador’s spawn…I assume they’re most like him really, so why save any of them,” he pocketed something from the bookshelf. “Weren’t we supposed to find something about the Nightsong in a Sharran temple?” he picked up one of the tablet fragments again, “This mentions the lady of loss more than once…”

“What? Let me see,” Shadowheart rushed to his side and began trying to piece the tablets together.

“You cannot hold an entire race of people responsible for the acts of one person,” Wyll shook his head, “Just because one of your spawn siblings bothers you, doesn’t mean that they’re all the same.” Astarion scrunched his nose in annoyance, “I think you’ll find I can. I’ve yet to meet a gnome who amazed me…”

“Did your gnome brother tattle on you or something?” Gale asked as he helped Vesper back to her feet.

“More than once…”

The others got quiet before Karlach cleared her throat, “Right well…let’s annoy the piss out of Astarion and save these gnomes. Because slavery, Astarion,” she pointedly looked at him, “is bad.”

They entered the hottest portion of the area, lava flowing just under their feet, and Vesper had to adjust her illusory image to give her sister’s face the appearance of sweat. She met with the sergeant who didn’t have a tadpole but seemed to be a believer of the absolute anyway. With the mention of a vial of rune powder the dwarf practically pushed her forward toward the gnomes. And there was a familiar face.

“Barcus Wroot?” she said softly and one of the deep gnomes turned and looked at her, “Hello. I’m not supposed to talk but…do I know you?” Her eyes widened before she remembered the face she was showing, while it was just like her own even the change in complexion and the different hair might make her look like a different person. “We met at the windmill, I–I saved you from the goblins,” he looked her over and nodded slowly, “Right. Well…if you could be as heroic now that would be great…they won’t likely keep us alive after we get the drow out of here.”

Vesper nodded, “Stay away from the lava,” she took the vial of rune powder out of her pocket, “try to avoid being used as a shield. The blonde doesn’t mind collateral damage.” The gnomes paused and looked at the vial, “Go, run for cover.” She turned and walked back to Astarion’s side, “Don’t shoot the vial yet…” he glanced at her through the corner of his eye, “Why?”

Vesper tried to make sure the man behind the rubble wouldn’t hear her as she used the tadpole to speak to the others, “Kill the dwarves. We risk the gnomes if we don’t take them out now.”  She saw Karlach begin to stretch and heard her, “Right then.” She glanced at the others and received subtle nods from Wyll and Gale. Lae’zel began to stretch and reached for the hilt of her long sword while Shadowheart hid her face behind her shield, though she could hear the cleric as she began to say a prayer.

“Go ahead,” she said to Astarion with a nod.

The rogue still seemed unsure as he hesitated for just a moment before he lifted his hands, “Ignis!” A flame lashed from his fingertips and hit the sergeant right in the back, “Oops…I missed.” The sergeant turned and drew her sword, “Traitorous bastards!” 

The under dwarf let out a yell for help that was eclipsed by Karlach’s rage as she rushed forward and shoved the sergeant into the lava. It didn’t stop the scrying eye that had been hovering around them from calling for help though.

Barcus and the other gnomes did as they had been told and ran for hiding places, two taking the opportunity to shove the dwarves or to try and trip them as they came running. With her rapier in one hand and the other holding her crossbow, Vesper focused on the dwarf that was trying to shoot them from above. When she missed twice she dodged the blow of a dwarf near her and called to Wyll. The warlock misty stepped onto the balcony and with an eldritch blast threw the duergar off of its perch.

Shadowheart pulled one of the illithid bombs they’d found on the nautiloid from her side and threw it in the center of a group of the duergar, “Gale!” The wizard swung around and summoned a fireball atop the grouped dwarves before jumping back from the swing of one near him, “Karlach! A little help please!”

It wasn’t the strength of the duergar that gave the party issue, but rather the sheer amount of them and the room’s hazards. Vesper danced on her toes around the duergar trying to avoid their weapons while at the same time trying to steer herself away from the lava, the two duergar clearly trying to push her in its direction.

Astarion came up behind one and stabbed his daggers into each side of the dwarf’s neck. Despite armor upgrades and careful dodging, the group did receive injuries and as Lae’zel beheaded the final dwarf, one wearing a mask that had been a particular annoyance for Astarion, they each took a moment to heal themselves. 

Barcus ran forward while they collected themselves, “You did it! I can’t believe it…but inside there are more of us…please.” He stuttered the last bit, staring at Vesper who nodded, “Right, hide again.” She looked at Astarion and Gale who glanced at each other before Astarion turned and cast another firebolt cantrip at the rune powder.

As the dust cleared, Vesper stepped forward, watching gnomes run out and a male drow stepped from the rubble. He swore at one cowering female before shoving her into the lava, Vesper jumped forward, “Stop that!”

The drow looked her over, and Vesper realized where she’d screwed up. Yasmine didn’t care about another’s pain. She quickly schooled her features and narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her. “What happened here?” he questioned looking at the bodies surrounding the area. The bard licked her lips, tasting her own sweat and blood that ran down her face. Shit, there was blood on her face but probably not Yasmine’s. “True believers against traitors…we survived,” she said, her voice faltering as she was unsure if she wanted to say that they were True Souls.

Nere looked her over and stepped forward, “Very well. You will dispose of the gnomes, they have–” “No I won’t!” she said and felt her tadpole writhe in answer as it pushed into his head. The Absolute has other plans for these gnomes. His head tilted, “Yes…yes–” he frowned and shook his head as her attempt at charming him failed, “Lies!” Vesper’s eyes widened and she turned to try to avoid his lunging hand.

His fingers slid through the illusion of Yasmine and found purchase on the lip of her collar, not chancing it he gripped tightly and jerked the bard backwards. Like lightning thrumming through her body, Vesper screamed as she felt the threads in her shoulder pull before snapping as she was thrown behind him. She rolled as she landed and hiss as the lava popped hitting her boots, “Shit, shit, shit!” Vesper cursed as she tried to crawl away from the most dangerous part of the room. Unfortunately for her, every time she moved her arms to pull herself up the pain in her shoulders thrummed through her.

“Save her!” she heard Astarion yell and felt three sets of hands pulling her arms and pulling her away from the molten lava. She released a pained cry as the gnomes dragged her away from the fight and she felt the loss of the magic over her appearance as her disguise fell away.

From their hiding spot she could hear Karlach’s enraged yell and the sound of metal cleaning against metal and then just hard breathing. Footsteps pounded against the grate and she felt hands on her hips turning her over, “Vesper!” Shadowheart’s panicked voice met her as she turned and lay flat on her back. The cleric began unbuckling her armor, “Your collar.”

The bard nodded, “Take it off…just fucking take it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks from the abrupt pulling and the jerking that had happened at her throat. Barcus Wroot was still hovering over her as he watched the cleric strip the bard of her armor and then there was Astarion a knife in hand, “It’s alright, darling, we’ve got it from here.” Brandishing the blade just in front of her Vesper felt herself slipping and soon found herself within her own mind. In that boat where she’d been during her night with the high elf. 

She could barely hear the sounds as the boat rocked in the dark waters. Shouting was softened to a whisper, something cool across her forehead and cheeks while her shoulders burned. Until there was nothing but the burning where she ached. No sound besides the water lapping at the sides of the boat, she was safe again. The pain would lapse and she’d awaken to new aches and bruises.

“I just hope I can move my arm after this…”

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

“Use your tadpole, it’s a connection to her.” Vesper frowned as the new voice, deeper, but with an underlying worry she wasn’t used to. “Let me,” that was…Gale? Vesper sat up in the boat and looked around before an image of Gale materialized in front of her. “Gale?”

“There you are…you can wake up, we’re out of the Grymforge now. Wait–can you wake up?”

“How did you get here?” she tilted her head as Gale just sat there in front of her. This image of the wizard had none of his mannerisms, his hands stayed rested on his thighs as he spoke and he didn’t emote in the way she was used to.

“I’m using the tadpole. We’ve brought you back to camp…we need you to wake up, we need to know that you’re alright. Going comatose as you did gave us all an awful fright, please…wake up.”

There was a warmth surrounding one of her hands, her shoulders…didn’t ache or burn any longer. She flexed her hand and felt the warmth tighten around it.

“That’s it, you’re doing wonderfully. Can you move the other hand?”

She turned to look at her other hand and wiggled her fingers before looking at Gale. “Perfect, though you just scared Wyll with a little tickle. Careful of your legs, but move one of them?”

Slowly she reconnected with each part of her, Gale giving her encouragement each time a new part of her responded in the waking world. As her eyes opened she was shocked by the golden glow over her, she turned to the hand that had been held so warmly and found Halsin smiling down at her, “There you are,” he said in relief. 

Shadowheart let the spell fall and bent until her forehead was pressed against the bards, “Lady of Sorrows, Vesper don’t do that again. We tried everything to wake you and nothing…nothing worked.” The cleric choked as she repeated the second nothing, when she sat up Vesper looked up and saw tears in her companion's eyes, “We didn’t know if it was the worm or if we’d just lost you. You were breathing, and your heart was beating but–”

“I’m okay,” Vesper said softly and flinched when she heard the barking laugh of Astarion. Slowly she looked around, they were surrounding her. Even Lae’zel stood behind Shadowheart, worry etched on her face as Vesper made to sit up.

Halsin used the hold on her arm to help pull her up and Vesper paused when she realized it didn’t hurt when he pulled. Her free hand came up to her chest and felt…nothing. Astarion sat at her feet, Gale just beside him, “Nere ripped the back threads, nearly detached the whole thing…” The wizard nodded as Astarion spoke before adding, “If the gnomes hadn’t acted so quickly…we thought you were going to go in.”

She heard a surprising voice pipe in and turned to see Barcus as he nodded to her, “Hardly seemed appropriate to let you die after you had just saved us. Consider us even…” Vesper nodded mutely and continued to rub her fingers across the bare skin of her sternum before her right hand reached up to feel the raised area where her bone hadn’t healed right.

“Careful,” Halsin said, “in their haste, it looks like the people who saved you may have agitated the break. I wanted you awake before I healed the fracture.” He looked toward all of them, “It will only take me a moment, the rest of you should go and relax. I have it from here.” One by one the others got up, Wyll placed a careful hand on her shoulder as he left. Shadowheart pushed past Lae’zel, the gith hanging around before she began to remove her armor. The only one who didn’t leave was Astarion who stared at her injury.

‘It could end the whole thing if it’s not enjoyable.’

He’d just uttered those words the night before. Unconsciously she covered the area and looked at Halsin, “I didn’t mean to worry everyone. I just…” Halsin shook his head as he assured her, “You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You’ve learned a technique that many have when in a situation similar to yours. Escaping to a safe place, though I’m sensing not many here knew about you doing that.” Vesper cut her eyes to Astarion who cleared his throat, “I’ll get some rags and water, to clean your neck.”

She watched as he got up and walked away, her eyes trailed him as he retreated to his tent before she felt Halsin begin to manipulate her arm. Gently he lifted it to straighten it before bending it more, his eyes watching her face for any hint of discomfort. “This is alright?” she nodded, “Perhaps I healed more than I intended the first time. Astarion made something of a mess of your shoulders trying to find the threads, Wyll mentioned he seemed determined to remove them all while Gale came to retrieve me.” 

The wood elf continued to stretch her left shoulder, up and down, pulling it back and then in front of her. When he was satisfied he moved to her right arm and this time Vesper tried to move with him. She stiffened when she felt cold water touch the nape of her neck, “It’s only me. I’ll let you wash the front, but let me get the back.” She had expected it to be Astarion, but he had apparently passed the task to Shadowheart who scrubbed heavily trying to get everything off of her.

“How long did you wear that device?” Halsin asked as he lowered her right arm and began prodding at the marks on her shoulders, “Two years maybe? Possibly almost three, I can’t remember exactly.”

Shadowheart paused before returning to washing. Halsin wet another rag and held it out for the bard, “I know I’m pushing for us to reach Moonrise, but if I may suggest to the group…take a day before moving on to this crèche Lae’zel would like to reach. If only to be certain there are no other surprises from the collar’s unexpected removal.” Vesper didn’t reply to the druid, she just took the rag from him and began to scrub at the dirt the collar had hidden and left behind after all this time.

There was a clinking sound and Astarion kicked a crate over to the fire before he set down several bottles of wine, “I think we all need a drink after this.” Picking one bottle up he glanced at it before removing the cork. Pouring two goblets full he set them beside the bard and cleric before picking up a third for himself, he glanced at the silver cup before tossing it down and tipping the bottle to his mouth. “Very classy, Astarion,” Shadowheart said as she finished cleaning the back of Vesper’s neck and shoulders, “but thank you.” She lifted the goblet to her mouth with one hand while the other reached up and tugged the bard’s hair loose from its bun, “If you’re self-conscious we can figure out a way for your hair to cover your shoulders. I can’t imagine it’s easy to go two-three years of them being hidden to suddenly being exposed.”

Vesper nodded dumbly as she continued to scrub at her throat. Eventually, the others joined around the fire again as Gale began cooking. No one mentioned the collar, no one even brought up that she’d gone comatose. Thankfully no one brought up the fact she’d nearly died. Again.

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Astarion had been correct, they all needed a drink or twenty that night. Vesper settled in Astarion’s tent after only two goblets full, though she does carry her third into the spawn’s space. “I didn’t realize you were planning on staying with me tonight as well,” she heard and turned, careful not to spill the contents of her cup. Astarion kneeled just outside the flaps of his tent with a smirk on his face, “Don’t mind me, you go right ahead and get comfortable. I’ll just enjoy the view.” The bard frowned before she realized she would have been on her hands and knees crawling into the tent when he followed behind her, “Astarion,” she admonished while her cheeks flushed.

“What? Am I not allowed to watch?” once the drow was settled against some of the cushions in his tent, Astarion followed behind her, settling across the way, his legs resting on top of hers as he stretched. “Someone has to be admired and as I can’t see my own face, I guess yours will have to do,” he said as he continued to stretch lazily. “You can’t see your face? Right…mirrors,” she frowned and took a sip, “do you miss it?” A gray brow lifted as he lowered his head to look at her, “Do I miss petty vanity? Of course, I do! I haven’t seen this face in nearly two hundred years, I don’t even remember what it looks like anymore.” 

“It’s a good face,” she said as she lifted her goblet to him, “a beautiful face.”

His smile softened under her compliments, “Could–” he stopped and shook his head. “What?” Vesper moved to fully sit up asking again, “Could I?” Astarion took a breath and held it for a moment before he breathed out the question quickly, “Could you draw me?” The bard, who had been waiting patiently, frowned and shook her head, “I wouldn’t do you any justice in a drawing. Portraits require details that I’ve never gotten right…” She looked down before her hands paused reaching over to her goblet, “but there is something I can do.”

“Are you going to recite poetry about how beautiful I am?” he retorted, trying to fight the crestfallen look that had come over his face when his request was denied. But when he looked back up he jumped back because Vesper was right in his face, “Hold still,” she said as she moved her eyes over his features. 

“What are you doing?”

“I want to make sure it’s right…where’s your mirror?”

“I’ve already explained–here–I cannot see myself in the mir–”

He stopped talking as she spoke a familiar incantation and her own facial features began to morph. Her long red hair became a silvery blonde, in the mirror’s reflection he could see her teal and violet eyes become red and…sad, her cheeks hollowed, and her cheekbones were higher. “Is that…”

Vesper stared in the mirror then turned to look at him, “One second,” she moved the mirror behind him and adjusted Astarion so she could compare her reflection with the real thing. “Alright, now I’m just a tad bit drunk but I think I’ve got it right,” it was so odd hearing her voice come out of this masculine appearance but Astarion was in awe. Swallowing hard he reached out and turned her chin to have a better look at her, “This is me?”

The pallid face smiled at him and she nodded, “This is you. See, what I meant about you being a very pretty man?” When he reached for the curls on the illusion’s head his fingers first met air before he felt the bard’s own, just a couple of inches below where it was supposed to be. “It’s still only an illusion,” she said softly, “I can try and adjust it to be closer to my face, but yours is just a tad longer than mine.” “No,” he said as he looked into the red eyes he’d never seen before, “no, this is…this is perfect. How often can you change this…” She pursed her lips and Astarion watched as his face made one he recognized as hers immediately, “Don’t do that…” he chuckled, “Your expressions on my face are…well, I suppose I wouldn’t know if they were wrong per se, but it's odd.”

She laughed and shrugged her good shoulder, “I can cast this a couple of times if I have enough magic. Changing its appearance though takes some time, especially when I have to keep concentrating on the spell. If you were a wizard I’d say we go ask Gale how he summons his mirror image.” Astarion’s lip curled but then he stopped sneering, “I don’t think he’d be up for teaching me how to use the weave. It’s so precious to him.” 

“It wouldn’t do any harm in asking, he asked me the other day if I wanted to compare magics. If the way I cast magic felt the same way he did…he might enjoy teaching you,” she offered and Astarion shook his head. “No,” he said with a whine, “He’d enjoy teaching you. Not me. We just don’t get along, my dear.” He still had a hold of her chin and was now turning the face in different directions, pausing when he realized he could see two scars on the side of the neck. “You included those as well?” his voice warbled as he pulled back. “Should I not have? I didn’t want it to be a false image,” she sat back and crossed her arms over her middle.

“No, it’s… it's fine…thank you, now please, drop the illusion?” 

She let her concentration fall and looked in a mirror again. Gone was the visage of the high elf in front of her and instead, she just saw herself. Astarion caught her as she quickly looked away and frowned, “What is it?” 

“Hmm?” she glanced toward him as she settled back on the opposite side of the tent and sipped at her wine. “Don’t ‘hmm’ me, you looked disgusted after looking in the mirror,” he said, his tone accusatory while she shook her head and kept her head down. “I don’t know what you mean…I saw myself and I decided to sit back,” Astarion’s eyes narrowed at her answer before he pulled his legs under him to lean toward her, “Do you think you’re disgusting?”

“Don’t you?” she asked, lifting her chin higher. She was biting the inside of her cheek to try and keep control of her emotions. There were mirrors at home but for the most part, she avoided them, no one ever cared how she looked, only if her body was satisfactory. Astarion eyes scanned her face and stopped on her lips, “No. Not at all…why would I? And think very carefully about how you answer that question.” Vesper’s eyes darted upwards as she choked out a singular laugh, “Don’t be ridiculous, Astarion. Caz–” she stopped when she saw his lip begin to curl, “That bastard chose you because of your beauty…I was a pawn to Issac. Handed over to whoever had enough coin or a big enough debt that Issac didn’t want to pay off. I’m no more than a piece of gold to be passed from hand to hand.”

She lifted the goblet and drank. Vesper was barely able to swallow for a third time when a cold grip pulled the cup from her mouth, “Those sounds like your bastard’s words, Vesper.” When she didn’t answer he moved closer until he straddled her legs, “Look at me.” Her chin lifted, no need for him to do it, but she still wouldn’t look at him, “Vesper, darling, eyes on me,” when she finally lifted them she knew he would see the tears welling. He was right of course, it was Issac who made her feel this way. Issac, who constantly told her how worthless she was besides being passed off.

“I’ve spent two hundred years bedding any beautiful soul that would follow me back to, as you said, my bastard’s palace. Do you know what they had in common? How beautiful they were…” he said as his hands bracketed her cheeks and his thumbs wiped away the hot tears from her eyes. “I had thought to seduce you the moment I laid eyes on you,” he paused, and his head bounced from side to side, “once we became allies I mean…the moment I saw you I thought you worked alongside those tentacled freaks.” His smile spread when he heard a soft giggle from her lips, “Nevertheless, two hundred years of orders kicked in when you invited me to join you. A beautiful little elf, all red hair, and charm…”

“Are you saying that you would have taken me to him?” she asked her eyes growing round.

“You would have been just fit for him to invite me to dine with him…I would hate doing it, taking you to him, but it’s true,” he said as he swiped his fingers under her eyes again. “Even with your dark circles and scars, you’re incredible.”

She blinked twice before pulling her head away from his hands, “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth or if the wine has muddled my head.” Astarion frowned and sat back, “Let’s just say that if you didn’t have your issues I’d have bedded you several times already. As horrible as it all was I did like having gorgeous people writhing beneath and on top of me…” 

Her teeth ground together as her face flushed more and she heard his chuckle again. “You think it’s funny when I blush,” she said softly and Astarion hummed in appreciation. “Yes, these little flushes of purple on your cheeks do delight me,” he admitted, he didn’t go back to his side of the tent. Instead, as he got off her lap he settled just next to her and leaned close to her ear, “It has me curious if you flush like this when you’re actually enjoying sex.” Her face lifted to his, “Must everything be sex with you? You’ve got your own problems…I thought you’d be happy to not be–”

“Performing? I am…but is that not what couples are supposed to do? Find fulfillment in each other bodies?”

“I don’t know. I thought so…”

“So,” he said as he tucked a bent knuckle under her chin, “should we try?” Her mouth opened and closed without an answer. Pulling her closer until his nose touched the tip of hers, his voice lowered to a whisper, “I should thank you for your gift after all. It is all because of you I know just how beautiful I still am.” Her face betrayed her sadness and Astarion pulled back, “What’s the matter, my sweet?”

“You shouldn’t want to sleep with me because I did something nice for you, it feels…like a payment. I,” she pulled back again and shuffled away, “I don’t want this,” she motioned between the two, “to feel like it used to. I…” Vesper trailed off her focus now on her hand as she pulled it back to her, Astarion tilted his head and shifted closer to her, “You what?”

She looked up at him and blushed again, “I want it to be real…” a breathless laugh left her before she shook her head, “Don’t listen to me…I’m being drunk and silly.” The bard leaned forward and took up her goblet again, missing the flash of confusion before Astarion smirked. She finished her goblet before the vampire’s spawn took it from her again, he leaned close to her, “Then let’s be real.”

He glanced away long enough to set the cup on the ground before turning and placed his hand against her cheek, coaxing her forward, “Tell me no…” he hesitated, waiting for her to stop him. When no answer came, he pulled her closer until his lips met hers. Vesper allowed him to lead, numbly allowing herself to slip away until she felt a fang nip at her lip, “Oh no, stay with me…” he whispered against her mouth. 

Her eyes sprung open and met his crimson stare, she could see and feel when he smiled, “You said you had kissed someone before…try and remember then. Unless you want to say no?” Astarion glanced down at her mouth before looking up again, “Do you want to say no?”

The rogue was so close that when her tongue darted out to moisten her lips, she touched his mouth and he took it as a sign. His mouth shifted over hers and he used his weight to push her onto the floor of the tent. The hand not cradling her face found her side and gripped tightly, taking his time to move underneath the flimsy leather top she still wore. He chuckled when she shivered as his hand grazed over her skin, “Just make sure you’re quiet, darling.” He sat up and quickly pulled the ties of his tent flaps allowing them to flutter closed before he removed his shirt, “We wouldn’t want the others peeking in now, would we?”

She lay there staring up at him, though she could see the glow of the underdark’s flora through the stitching of his tent he was still cast in the greyscale of her dark vision. Even then he was breathtaking. Languidly she reached out a hand for him and he took it into his hands placing a kiss against her bruised knuckles before flipping it over and kissing her palm. 

When he kissed her again she tried to recall those nights from ten years before. The now faceless boy she had rolled down the hills with, the way her body had responded. “Out of your head,” she heard a whisper in her ear and opened her eyes again to see the high elf’s raised brow, “where are you?” She frowned at the question. Astarion’s hand cupped her cheek and he ran his thumb across her brow, “Where are you?”

“We’re in the underdark…” he nodded and bent his head lower pressing his lips to her now naked throat. A chill went up her spine and her breath caught in her throat when he nipped his teeth across the now-exposed skin of her throat. She heard his appreciative hum and flushed, he lifted his head and captured her mouth again. The hand that had rested on her side slid lower, tugging at the lacing of her leather trousers. 

On instinct, her hand moved quickly to grab his wrist and he stopped before whispering, “Who are you with?”

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked him over, “I’m with you…” his head shook, “Not good enough, little bard. I want to hear my name.” He bent down and caught her ear lobe just between his teeth before he whispered again, “Who are you with?” Despite her holding his wrist he tugged at the lace that held the panels together, “Astarion,” she answered in a hushed voice.

“I want you to enjoy this,” he said as he pulled his hand from the lacing and began to trace the top hem of her pants against her abdomen. “I won’t fuck you unless you let me, I just want you to know how your body feels when it enjoys it.” Astarion dipped his head back down to her throat, his tongue tracing a path down until he met the junction of her throat and shoulder. He easily found the raised area where her bone hadn’t properly healed and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“But you–” 

“No, I’m fine. I’ve enjoyed myself most thoroughly,” he used his other hand to wiggle the metal fastener of her top, “I was right about how far your blushing goes.”

 Further down he moved until his mouth closed around a nipple. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth as she stared up at the roof of the tent. Between teeth and tongue, she felt an unfamiliar tug in the pit of her belly and a warmth that she could only recall once. 

When he switched to her right breast he pressed a kiss to the scar just above before he began to tease her again. His hands worked on her pants, tugging at the leather that hugged so tightly. Curiosity had her planting her feet on either side of the elf and lifting her hips, and the warmth in her core multiplied as he chuckled against her skin.

As he trailed down he nipped at her softer flesh on her middle. She reached down to stop him with one hand but he caught it and pinned it to her side, “Use your voice.” Astarion paused as he glanced upward but she didn’t say anything, still looking upward and covering her mouth with her hand. “Vesper?” she shifted and looked at the rogue who smirked and leaned up to move her hand and kiss her again, “You can still say no. Tell me to stop and I will…” She watched his eyes bounce back and forth before she licked her lips again, “Do you want me to stop?” 

Blood was rushing in her ears, she wanted to keep going but wanted to stop all the same. “Would you hate me?” she asked and he shook his head, “Not at all, my sweet.” He started to back away before she grabbed him, “I don’t want to stop…”

Astarion’s smile grew and he bowed his head, “Alright.” Bending to catch her lips again she heard his chuckle as she copied him and placed her hand against his cheek. The rogue used his foot to kick her pants further down her legs until they were off. This time rather than just holding her side his nail divoted into her hip as he pulled her close and bent down to her throat once more.

His mouth paused over her pulse, the hard beat of her life pulsating under his lips and for a moment she wondered if he would bite her then. It was enough of a distraction that she didn’t realize his hand left her hip until it found the apex of her thighs. A surprised gasp left her and she removed her hand from his face to cover her mouth again, to his amusement.

As his finger slid between her lips, his mouth came back to her ear, “I think you know what desire feels like now.” He lifted off of her and brought the finger he’d run through her to his lips, her eyes wide as she watched him taste it. 

“Delicious.”

He made no move to toy with her body again as he moved downward, settling his body between her lifted knees. Pressing a kiss to the top of one of Vesper’s knees, he descended, and again her eyes found the roof of the tent very interesting. Astarion had not done this in the woods, she expected his tongue to be just as cold as the rest of him but was surprised by the not-icy feeling against her sensitive flesh.

Then he found something, one nudge and she shuddered, her hips jumped, and her knees attempted to close. Astarion didn’t allow them to, just as he had held her arm pinned before he now held one of her legs open wide while he used the other to spread her lips.

A breathy moan left her when that tautness she had felt before tightened again and the chilled air of the underdark made goose flesh of her skin. Or was it Astarion’s doing?

There wasn’t much room for thought as he continued moving his mouth over her. His tongue danced between that sensitive bundle of nerves down to her entrance. The tightness in her belly twisted, tighter. She kept mentally repeating the answers to his previous questions. She was with Astarion. They were in the underdark.

Astarion. Underdark.

His nails scratched over her mound, slipping down the junction of her thighs and core. 

Underdark. Astarion.

Her hand not covering her mouth gripped the bedroll she laid on. There was no longer a difference in temperature between his tongue and her body, it was just the ghost of pressure as he teased that spot with the tip of his tongue.

Underdark.

There was a distinct difference when she felt cold fingers press into her, her hips tried to raise and were pushed down. The motion was neither rough nor gentle. She lifted on her elbows and looked down, a shudder running through her as she met Astarion’s unwavering gaze from between her thighs. “Astarion,” she whined in a whisper before biting down on her lip to stop another noise from passing through her lips as the tightness broke in her and a rush of heat flooded her. 

Vesper’s head fell backward and she felt him move over her, his teeth finding purchase on her neck while her hips still stuttered, and his fingers were still there. They were still in her thrusting through her rush of elation. At the height of her orgasm, she couldn’t feel when his teeth punctured her throat, but the rush of blood leaving her made her heady feeling…more. When the quaking of her body halted she could feel him pulling more from her and ran a hand over his shoulder, her fingers raising when she would catch the raised edges of his scars.

Astarion settled back, laying the bard down gently after removing his fingers from within her. His gaze was still on her throat, where she felt the warm droplets run before he reached past her and pulled a healing potion from his armor, “Drink.” She obeyed his command and watched as he poured water from a jar into a chalice he kept in his tent. He wet a rag, and then another, cleaning his face and hand with one he threw it down and took the other before leaning towards her, “I can do that…I’m used to it.” She said with flushed cheeks.  

With a lifted brow, Astarion finally nodded and passed the rag to her. Once she was clean he reached for his discarded shirt and passed it to her, “We’ll find you something more comfortable to wear soon. Maybe Lae’zel’s crèche has an abundance of laundry somewhere.” He grunted as he laid down on the outside bedroll, “Surely they cannot wear that armor all the time.”

Vesper pulled the ruffled shirt over her head and grabbed for one of the blankets to cover her lower half.

He turned to her, his hand twisting in her direction to lift her chin to keep it from bowing to her chest. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again until they heard Karlach’s voice.

“Are you two finished? Shadowheart and I want to go to bed but we also don’t want to listen in….” Vesper’s jaw dropped as her head twisted out of his grasp to stare at the tent’s opening. Astarion’s own eyes rounded in surprise before he started cackling, his eyes squeezing together tightly as he laughed. He ran his hands across his face, “By all means. Have the sweetest of dreams, darling Karlach.”

“Yep,” the tiefling grunted out before they heard her shoes scuff as she walked to her tent just behind Astarion’s. The drow’s face was drained of color as she turned to look at Astarion, who laughed harder when he got a look at her, “I did tell you to be quiet.” 

More scuffing was heard outside the tent and a horrified Vesper looked at the close flaps, “If he bit you during that I won’t be restoring you tomorrow.” The bard buried her face into Astarion’s naked side and groaned. The rogue wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he shook from his laughter and daubed his eyes with his other hand. 

“Are you finished?’ she asked as she lifted her head. Astarion looked down at her and shook his head, “No. But I’ll stop…for you.” Vesper sat up and reached for her pants, “Maybe I should sleep by the fire…” Astarion reached for her hands, pulling lightly, “No. Don’t go. What will the others think of me if you leave after such a pleasant evening? I’ll go get another blanket if you’re cold.”

Vesper looked down to her naked thighs and then at Astarion, “I’d have to fight with my trousers anyway wouldn’t I?” He nodded, “Unless you wanted to give Halsin a show…not sure that he’d mind.” The bard lifted her head, her eyes wide again and Astarion chuckled, “It’s true…I don’t think he’d mind if the whole camp was nude. He’d probably be happy to walk around without clothing.” Relief flooded the bard and she shook her head, “I thought you were implying something else.”

Astarion’s tilted his head and pursed his lips, “I might…though I’d rather not consider you with someone else when I only just got a taste of the real you.” He gave her wrist another tug, “Stay with me.” Heat stained her cheeks as she laid down on the inner mat and shifted to her back beside him. Just as she assumed he would, Astarion shifted to his side and laid his head against her breast, her heart pounding against his cheek. “Even this feels nicer, no leather digging into my face,” he said as he closed his eyes.