#me pressuring myself into performing what i imagine 'needs' to be performed

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

maybe i should just step back from tyk fandom for a while? i dont want to leave permanently, but the way it is right now im not enjoying myself. it does not spark joy. when im looking at the way i feel as a woh fan and contrast that with my tyk fan feelings ,, like, the difference is immense

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.

There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.

The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.

The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.

There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)

And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.

But. This brings me to the real point of the post.

Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:

Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.

And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"

And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.

It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.

And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.

TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.

[simping-acefully]

Ep 3 got me acting really unwise

Nsfw headcanons for Laios under the cut (gn unspecified partner for Laios)

Warnings: NSFWish, probably ooc, reader insert implied?, probably not very sexy because I used this for character analysis.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Laios is very attentive, though he's also very insecure when it comes to engaging with others. So I imagine he'd be a little clumsy, though very eager to provide the best aftercare for his partner. He's also very cuddly.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

The favorite part of his own body are his hands. They are strong and calloused, and he's used them to protect others and to create new stuff! (Aka, cooking) the fact that those hands can also help him please a partner is a plus.

On a partner? Probably lips. I imagine Laios struggles to read people's facial expressions (the 'tism go brr) but seeing his partner's smile is reassuring. He also really likes running his thumb over them and maybe getting his fingers nibbled.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums a lot.He has tasted his own cum out of curiosity in the past, too. And if he had a partner that ejaculated or squirted he would be delighted to taste it all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has probably jerked off to thoughts of his partner before they get together and it's eating him alive :(

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Zero experience, lots of book knowledge though! He's confused but he's got the spirit. Will need some leading at first, but he's a quick learner and is curious enough to experiment and try new things once he's gained confidence.

As an ace myself, I like to think that Laios is either ace too, or has a low drive and thus, sexual intimacy is a matter of doing something intimate and unique with a partner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that will allow him to see his partner's face for smooching! The emotional intimacy is the most important part for him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He tries to be serious to the point he's almost uptight. But his clumsy and eager nature ends up organically devolving into somewhat goofy intimacy.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes, but this man keeps it all natural because ?? Why would he waste time/energy on such things??? (Aka, he's not used to grooming the area, but he would do an effort if asked)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very!! The main driving force for the act. Laios is constantly kissing and checking with his partner. He loves them so much and this is a physical way to convey those feelings!

He holds hands with his partner, kisses their face and neck and tries to keep them as close as possible, the mental image of melting into a puddle together comes to mind.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn't do it often, but when he does it's more of a thing of connecting with his own body than getting rid of any urges. He won't be able to get off unless he's in a good mood.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Has a wee bit of a praise kink that he doesn't fully understand.

Shibari is one he wants to delve into, too. There's something to be said about the artistry of the knots, and the feeling of compression can be quite comforting.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Probably his partner's bed. He shares a room with Falin, so intimacy on his place is a no-no. He doesn't particularly enjoy motels or inns either because he feels kind of self conscious/pressured to perform within a time limit. He was to take things slow and he wants to cuddle to sleep afterwards, dammit!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I think his biggest driving force is an emotional connection. He craves to be understood and loved, so feeling that coming from his partner will make him want to show his appreciation in a physical way.

Probably jealousy is another good way to make Laios seek out his partner. He wants reassurance, to kill any doubts in his mind and any lingering feelings of inadequacy.

Also adrenaline too! Sometimes when the blood is pumping, his mind wanders. If he and his partner just were in a situation of danger, the physical reminder that they are there, alive and safe will make him desperate to feel them.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Doesn't like/understand degradation, and wouldn't do anything that he felt could hurt his partner.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to give, and lives for pleasing his partner! He's not very skilled at first, but he's very observant and receptive, so he gets the hang of what his partner likes even if they do not say so themselves.

However, after getting head himself, he's hooked. He loves it, he loves the look on his partner's eyes and the physical feeling is overwhelming on the best possible way.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually slow and sensual, unless he just had a life or death situation with his partner, then he's desperate and anxious.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not one to really go for quickies, but if he's on the rare mood for one, he'll be sure to get and give lots of affection.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Laios would be interested in trying everything at least once. He's curious and inquisitive, and just as he is fascinated by monsters, he's fascinated by his partner and wants to learn what turns them on, and see what also works for him

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Stamina for days! He can last one very long round. If he didn't get sleepy and cuddly afterwards, he could probably do more, but hnnnggg comfy

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own toys, but if introduced to them he's up for trying pretty much anything, both on himself and his partner.

I can see him growing particularly attached to non-human looking dildos/strap-ons and ropes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's not much of a tease, but he low-key enjoys being teased. He doesn't seem to understand it, or be fully aware of the fact, but yeah.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not particularly loud out the impulse to self restrain, but Laios is a whiner. He can get pretty loud when he's about to cum though.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Would love to roleplay as a monster with their partner but when he did bring up the idea he got laughed off and passed it off as a joke. It was not a joke.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I like to think that it would kind of mimic his silhouette, length slightly above average and overall on the thicker side. The widest point is right after the head.

Not very high at all. I kinda imagine Laios on the gray sexual spectrum so, it only becomes a thought after he begins pining for his eventual partner. It starts with him wondering how soft their hands would be, how about their neck and lips? And it eventually escalates to wandering thoughts of intimacy.

Once he does become intimate with a partner, he longs for intimacy more than he longs for sex itself.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

VERY. He's an eepy man.

[bodyswap005]

"Switching Roles" Kevin Alvarez and Timothee Chalamet

Kevin Álvarez’s Perspective:

I’ve always dreamed of being an actor. Since I was a kid, I spent hours in front of the TV, mimicking my idols and imagining the bright lights of Hollywood. However, life took me down a different path: football. Now, with Club América, I’ve achieved something many consider a dream, but deep down, there’s always been a yearning for the cinema.

I remember the day it was announced that Timothée Chalamet would be coming to Mexico to promote "Dune: Part II." My excitement was palpable. Here was a talented young star, acclaimed for his acting, while I was just an emerging footballer, longing to be like him. I spent the days leading up to the match thinking about what I would say if I ever had the chance to meet him. But football was my reality, and for now, it was my priority.

On match night, the stadium was packed. The atmosphere was electric, and adrenaline coursed through my veins. As I ran across the field, I felt alive. Yet in the back of my mind, that voice kept dreaming of acting, of being part of stories larger than myself.

Then, everything changed in an instant. A ball, struck with force, flew into the stands and hit me. When I regained consciousness, I wasn’t on the pitch anymore; I was in an unfamiliar locker room, staring at a mirror that reflected Timothée Chalamet. Confusion and panic overwhelmed me. What had happened? How was it possible that I was in his body?

Facing life as an actor was terrifying. The cameras, the lights, the pressure of being in the spotlight… it wasn’t easy. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw someone I had always admired, but now I had to live that reality. I had to attend meetings and auditions, and while I initially felt like a fish out of water, I soon began to find my footing.

It was incredible to be in his world, surrounded by writers and directors, but I also felt out of place. The pressure to meet expectations was overwhelming. Sometimes, I wished to return to the pitch, where my skills were clear, and the thrill of the game filled me with life.

Yet there was something magical about the world of cinema. I learned to appreciate the art of storytelling and the dedication each performance requires. In one of those meetings, I remembered why I loved acting and how it had always been a part of me. So, I started to immerse myself in roles, to feel the emotions of characters, and to channel my own dreams through them.

Meanwhile, Timothée, in my body, was discovering the world of football. I could see his excitement and struggle. He trained hard, trying to understand the game and meet the expectations of being a professional athlete. With each match, I felt his desire to succeed and his respect for the sport. That made me realize how much love is needed in both disciplines.

The climax arrived during a crucial match. Timothée had to take a decisive penalty kick, and as I watched him, I felt a mix of nerves and pride. When he scored, a wave of happiness washed over me. In that moment, I understood that although we were in different bodies, we shared the same desire: to be the best at what we love.

Finally, fate brought us together again. In a strange connection, we returned to our original bodies. It was as if an invisible thread had pulled us back, giving us a new perspective on what it means to be an actor and an athlete.

Today, as I look to the future, I know I won’t abandon my dream of acting. I’ve learned to value every part of my journey, to embrace both football and cinema. Timothée and I shared an experience that bonded us in a unique way. Life is a stage, and I’m ready to shine on it, whether with a ball at my feet or on the big screen.

Part two here:

[painted-flag]

TENDER, part 1/3 - Marcus Acacius

₊˚⊹♡ your father leaves on a campaign to germania, entrusting you under the care of his good friend marcus acacius. ₊˚⊹ marcus acacius x fem!reader ₊˚⊹ warnings: age gap and future descriptions of smut. ₊˚⊹ part one | part two | part three | ₊˚⊹ masterlist.

The cool night breeze brushed over your exposed skin as you stood leaning against the stone railing of a balcony in your estate. Though the night was peaceful, the insistent chatter of courtesans, senators, and high-ranking military officials underscored by the musical ensemble performing cut clean through the balcony doors. 

This was supposed to be your moment of respite, but even being outside could not free you from the stifling conditions inside. This was your home, yet you felt a stranger in it. Your father had hosted this celebration in dedication to his upcoming campaign in Germania. It was not unusual for him to go out and fight in some distant land, but it was the first time he was leaving after your mother’s death for a significant period. Weeks you could cope with, but months?

This time was the last moment your father would have in the capital for the better part of a year. Because of that, he had spent the majority of the night carting you around the party to eligible men in an effort to find you a husband before he left. It was not meant to be purposefully pressuring and you knew that, he only wanted what he believed was best for you. 

You did not wish to marry any of them. They were not in your taste, but your father did not see that. 

As you gazed wistfully into the night, the balcony door opened and the noises from inside got louder before it closed. 

A soft voice edged with a deep timbre shook your bones. “Forgive me, my lady. I did not know this place was occupied.” 

You turned around to see a man standing behind you. For a moment, you were stunned. He was older, though your father still beat him by a few years. His skin was tanned and his stature was strong. There was a leanness to his muscle that was not as ostentatious as many of the men in Rome tended to be. Despite that, you could tell by the way he carried himself that he was deadly if need be. You grew up around soldiers, you could recognize one when you saw them; they often never left the battlefield but continued to foster it in their minds. 

His hair was dark like the bark on dark oak trees, yet strong in colour. Though there were yet to be any silver strands in the thick volume of his hair, she could tell by the aged lines on his face that they were only a few years away from growing out. It sent a stirring in her stomach to imagine the silver patches in his hair and beard. Looking at his jawline, it seemed to be even more defined by the hair there. He was dressed in fine clothes like all the other attendants, but there was something about his form that screamed to a more humble nature. 

What startled you the most were the browns of his eyes that looked like bark on the trees in summer – dark but covered in a golden light that exuded nothing but warmth. They were captivating, he was captivating. 

“You are not disturbing me. Please, stay if you wish.” You spoke. There was a part of you that wished he would stay so you could talk to him for a moment. 

He paused for a moment and looked back at the balcony doors. With his head turned you could survey more of him and notice the hidden strength in his arms while you marvelled at the veins under his skin. When he turned back to you, your head came up as if you were not staring. If he noticed, he made no mention of it. 

“I could stay for a while,” The man moved to stand beside you and looked out at the darkening grounds below. “Forgive me if this is forward, but you do not seem to be enjoying yourself.” You could easily tell he was good at reading people, though you still had yet to receive his name. 

“You are sound in your observation. If I have to dance with one more eligible man in that room I should fling myself off of this balcony.” You said. He laughed at your words, catching on to the slight lilt in your teasing tone. 

“Surely, a beautiful lady such as yourself would be drinking in the attention?” He asked. You tried to pretend his words did not affect you as much as they did. 

It was your turn to laugh and you turned to lean on your side against the stone railing and face him. He was already facing you with those piercing summer eyes. 

“Not from boys like that.” You answered. 

His eyebrow quirked up, “Boys?”

“They are not as… mature as I like.” If it were not for the poor lighting, you could have sworn you saw the ball on his throat move as he gulped. The insinuation in your words was not lost on him. 

Handsome and smart. A good combination. 

It seemed as though your words caught him off guard, so you spoke more, “Surely, in the beauty of such a celebration, a handsome man such as yourself should be with his wife?” You wanted him to deny the assumption. However, you were not stupid. A man who looked like him was not one to stay solitary – women would have flocked to him in both his youth and older age. 

Though, to your great relief, his words comforted you. 

“No, my lady, I am not married.” You rejoiced on the inside but continued to act calm. Immediately after though, you felt stupid. He was beyond your years, beyond your experience. Why would he care for a young woman such as you, only in their twenties? 

The growing tension between the two of you was almost tangible. His appearance was entirely too alluring for you. The energy he gave off was both dominant and reserved, making you want to sink under his protection. 

Before anything else could be said, the balcony doors opened. Your father walked out, seemingly oblivious to the heat between you two. 

“Ah, Marcus! I was wondering when I would see you tonight. How are you doing, my good friend?” Your father’s hands clasped his shoulder in a friendly manner, face smiling and tinged red due to the wine affecting his system. 

“I am well. This celebration is rather grand. You have outdone yourself this time.” There was an underlying tension in his voice that went unnoticed by your father, but you caught it. Was it frustration? Why would he be frustrated in this moment? 

However, the name Marcus struck a chord of familiarity. You glanced at him again and took in his clothes and stature. While your initial observation about him being a soldier had been correct, it was only then that you realized it was slightly off. He was a general. General Marcus floated around your mind until it landed on something surprising. 

General Marcus Acacius. 

The most accomplished Roman general and a name your father had mentioned many times throughout the years. 

And you had just flirted with him. 

“It seems you have met my daughter.” Your father moved to stand beside you. 

You watched as Marcus’ face dropped, “Your daughter?” His eyes moved to you for a brief moment before returning to your father. 

“Yes,” Your father wrapped his arm over your shoulder and squeezed you to his side, “I do not believe I ever introduced you two. My wife tended to keep her away from the prying eyes of the public,” At the mention of your deceased mother, you cringed slightly. It was still a sensitive topic for you. It was also the truth; your mother often kept you away from events in the hopes that Rome would not corrupt you. 

“She is a lovely woman. Raised well.” Marcus responded though he kept his eyes on your father. It was obvious that he was avoiding looking at you and you almost yearned for the returning warmth of his eyes. 

“I hope you have gotten to know one another a little bit before I leave her to your charge.” Your father spoke. 

His words had you furrowing your eyebrows, “What?” Your father turned to you with an incredulous look, as if the answer was obvious.

“I told you I would be leaving you in the care of a good friend while I am gone,” He responded. 

You remembered it. You also remembered thinking it would be another one of his very old friends who had since retired and lived a quiet life. Never once did you think you would be handed over to the care of the most accomplished general in Rome who also happened to be a man you could not help but be very attracted to. 

Before you could respond, your father perked up as he looked inside through the open balcony doors, “There he is! Forgive me, Marcus, but I have been wishing to introduce someone to my daughter. I hope to speak to you later.” 

Your father tugged on your arm and dragged you back into the estate. For a moment, your gaze flickered behind to spot Marcus already staring at you. When he was caught looking, he turned back around to look out at the night sky. 

Now that you were back in the throes of people mingling with the sound of the band in the background, you could feel yourself beginning to itch. It was a feeling you would get under your skin with the looks of the other members of the aristocracy. They were suffocating. However, you played the game of a general's daughter and continued with a smile on your face. 

Your father stopped in front of a man, “Lucan, I was telling you about my daughter.” The man appeared only a few years older than you. His formal attire spoke military, low ranking, but enough to warrant some level of respect. Lucan was not bad-looking, rather pleasing actually. Youthful with an air of ruggedness in his short blond beard. His eyes were blue like the sky during the day, yet they did not feel as bright as the golden light in the dark browns of Marcus’ eyes. You bit your lip to stop yourself from thinking of a man you had only just met. 

“You are as beautiful as others have described, my lady.” Lucan grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles. While the compliment was nice, it did not feel as good as Marcus’ voice calling you beautiful; there was something in his voice then that sounded more genuine. 

“Lucan Luctuca, I’d like you to formally meet my daughter. Perhaps a dance would be nice?” Your father's eagerness was not lost on you. It was obvious that he had been, in recent years, more desperate to find you a suitable husband. He could not take care of you forever and your presence in his house felt odd. The longer you remained unwed, the more members of the court believed you to be defective or undesirable. 

Lucan seemed to take your father's words seriously and took your arm from him to lead you to where many people were dancing. The two of you began as a new song started to play. 

“I apologize if my compliment sounded disingenuous. I was lying about your beauty,” Lucan began and you had half a mind to punch him because of his words, “If I am honest, beautiful is not good enough to describe you, my lady. However, I felt it would be untoward to say such a thing in front of your father.” 

“Thank you,” Your skin turned slightly red at his compliment and you could feel your face warm up slightly, “How is it that you know my father?” 

“He trained with my father when they were starting their service. I have grown up outside of Rome and have only just come here. It seems your father is intent on us getting to know one another.” Lucan spun you around. 

“My father is insistent on finding me a husband,” You responded. Over Lucan’s shoulder, you could see that Marcus had come back inside and was talking to a group of men. Yet, his gaze was locked on you as you danced with Lucan. He was clutching a goblet in his hands. If it were not made of metal, surely his grip would have broken it.  

“Then I hope I am a sufficient contender,” The musicians transitioned to another song, but you stayed dancing with him. 

“Well, I’ll have to get to know you better,” While flirting was fun, it felt odd to do it with Lucan. He was nice, from what you could tell. Level-headed and respectful to boot. None of it entirely mattered when Marcus’ gaze had yet to leave you. 

“Sounds wonderful,” Lucan said. 

The rest of the time that the two of you danced, you only slightly paid attention to what he was saying. The rest of the dance was spent trying to cool yourself down each time you glanced at Marcus and found that he was still looking at you. The men around him had gradually left until it was just him standing on the outskirts of the mingling groups and leaning up against a pillar. 

It was hard to pay attention to Lucan’s words when your whole body felt on fire. By the time the two of you separated, it was already terribly late and you were tired. You looked around for your father as you wished to bid him goodnight before retiring to your room. 

When you finally spotted him, he was standing with Marcus and talking merrily. You sucked in a breath and realized you would have to be near Marcus again. You wondered if the Gods were pulling a terrible joke on you. He was a man beyond your reach, yet your body felt such a connection to him despite only meeting a few hours prior. 

It was ridiculous. The two of you had what could barely be construed as a conversation and already your brain was picturing yourself with him. 

You approached both of the men, “Father, it is late and I wish to retire.” 

“Ah, well I hope you rest well,” Your father sipped from his goblet, “What did you think of Lucan?” At the mention of Lucan’s name, you could see Marcus turn to face you. His gaze was piercing the side of your head. 

“He was nice. Pleasant to talk to.” You responded.

“Mature?” Marcus asked. While seemingly innocent to others, but a little odd, the words stuck a chord in you. He was bringing up your previous comment about the men attempting to court you not being as mature for your taste. You could not tell if it was a subtle jab at you, or perhaps an attempt to undermine Lucan and bolster himself. 

Like the daughter of a military man, you too knew methods of war. 

“He was, General.” You stared him in the eyes while speaking and enjoyed the vein in his temple flex. He hummed at your response, a noise deep in timbre that sent a wave of warmth all over your body. 

“Well,” Your father was oblivious to the tension between you two, “Good night, darling.” He gave you a quick hug and you smiled. You nodded to Marcus to be respectful and began walking towards the door to exit the large hall. You were glad that this celebration was in your home, as you would not have to walk far to reach your room. The only downside was the nagging feeling in your head to go back out and spend the rest of the night with Marcus. 

It would be wrong.

You knew it would be wrong. 

Marcus was older than you and he was your father's friend. 

The air in your room suddenly felt hot and you scrambled to undress from the clothing you wore. It was quiet save for the distant sound of the party still going on, though gradually decreasing in numbers. 

You plopped down on your bed and let out a loud huff. Still, even in the privacy of your room, you could feel the searing heat of Marcus’ gaze. What disturbed you the most about it was that you liked the attention from him. You liked the thought of him undermining Lucan to bolster himself in your favour. That competitiveness and confidence lit a fire in your heart. 

You thought of tomorrow when your father left for his campaign. For months, you will be living at Marcus’ estate, under his guidance and protection. A part of you, the one loyal to your father, was dreading this. You did not want to do anything untoward that would disrespect both him and Marcus. 

However, the other part of you was thrilled to be in close proximity with Marcus. The dreamy side of your mind was hoping, maybe, that he could look at you the same way you looked at him. But that would be a betrayal to your father.

You wondered how you would survive in the coming months.

This was edited while I was doing the 12-3-30 challenge on the treadmill so I apologize for any errors -- I was sweaty and delirious.

[tamiart]

I wrote a little romance scene between Halsin and Tav, mostly imagining Halsin’s POV.

Summary: Tav is breaking down under the pressure of the enormous task ahead of her, and Halsin happens upon her.

Since I don’t consider myself a writer, I have never tried to write anything like this before. But I love this game so much, and especially when it comes to these two characters, my imagination is continuously running away with me. I need more material with them, so I tried to create some of my own. I hope you like it.

Midnight Solace

Everyone was finishing up their duties in setting up camp. Halsin looked over to see Tav talking to Wyll and Gale, who were arguing about something as they tried to come up with a strategy for some fight or other, which was now an almost daily occurrence. Tav looked worn out, barely listening to the two of them bicker as she studied a map they had drawn in the dirt. The others were always going to her for help with their problems, and by Silvanus did everyone in this group have catastrophic problems. In all his many years, Halsin had never met such a varied, volatile bunch of individuals. They reminded him of his younger years when every mishap, every mistake, felt like the end of the world.

Tav was the most intriguing to him. She couldn’t be half his age, and yet this young, unassuming slip of a girl had gone out of her way, putting aside her own troubles and fears, which must be plentiful though she never voiced them, for weeks throughout their perilous journey to help many along the way, including himself. She was helping him find a way to lift the shadow curse, which had haunted him for a century as his greatest shame and failure. She had risked her life to infiltrate a horde of nasty, treacherous little goblins to free him - a huge, threatening wild bear that could have tried to kill her too for all she knew. But even in his most savage form, she wasn’t afraid of him. 

Halsin had never met anyone like her. He often found himself watching her from across camp as she went about the daily routine that everyone had settled into - helping to prepare their meals, eating, talking and laughing with everyone around the fire, getting ready to go to sleep, preparing to head out in the mornings. He wondered about her as he performed his own duties. He felt himself drawn to her, and realized he was reluctant to leave her side. He was sorely tempted to forsake his druidic duties and stay with her, to be there for her and protect her for as long as she would let him during her quest to save them all. She stirred long-dormant feelings in him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this way about anyone.

Later that night, after everyone had sought their bedrolls, rest seemed to elude Halsin, so he gave up and headed towards the woods to lose himself in a hunt. As he walked past Tav’s bedroll, he noticed she wasn’t there. He looked around briefly, but did not see her. Slightly alarmed, he enhanced his senses and picked up her scent trail heading into the forest. Wanting to make sure she was alright, he followed it.

As he approached the stream nearby, he heard the sound of someone crying. He stopped and peered through the trees in that direction and saw that it was Tav, sitting by the water, her head resting on her bent knees. He felt a sympathetic pang to see and hear her so distraught. Not wanting to frighten her, he made his footsteps audible as he rounded a bush and approached her, and she started up and noticed him, and immediately turned away to surreptitiously wipe away the traces of her misery. He felt his heart stir.

“Oh, Halsin,” she said, “what are you doing out here so late?”

“I could not sleep,” he responded, “so I was going for a walk. I could ask you the same thing. Are you alright, my friend?”

At that, she failed at reigning in her emotions and burst into sobs once more.

“I’m sorry,” she sputtered through her tears. “I don’t know what’s come over me tonight.”

He hurried over and sat beside her. “It’s alright,” he tried to reassure her. But she could not stop, and he hesitantly reached out to touch her shoulder.

His touch seemed to relax something in her and she leaned towards him. He put his arm around her and held her closer. The feel of her sobs shaking her slight frame melted away his final resistance, and he knew then that he would do anything to help this girl. He was lost to her. He held her until her sobs quieted into sniffles. 

“What is it, my friend? Can I do anything to help?” He asked her gently.

“No, I’ll be okay.” She sighed.”Ugh look at me, I’m such a mess.”

“You are still beautiful. But stay here, I’ll get something for you.” Halsin quietly returned to his tent and found a clean cloth, poured a cup of water and grabbed a blanket as well, then returned to Tav’s side. She had calmed down and sat quietly staring into the stream with a troubled expression on her face. He draped the blanket around her shoulders and handed her the water and cloth.

 “Thank you. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this,” said Tav, wiping her tear-stained face. “They’re all depending on me to be strong. I need to be strong for all of us if we’re going to get through this.” She took a sip of water and put the cup down on a rock.

He placed his arm around her again and pulled her close. “No one expects you to be invincible. You don’t need to carry all of it alone. We’re all here to help you. I’m here to help you.”

She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyelashes. The distance between them was too close. The urge to kiss her was overpowering, and it took all of his will to resist. She needed him to be strong just now, and he would give her his support.

“Thanks, Halsin,” She closed her eyes and sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “That’s nice to hear. I just… I’m so afraid. I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time. Why does every decision have to fall to me? Every time one of us gets injured, I wonder if I should give it all up. Maybe I’m just leading us all to our deaths.” Her voice choked on those last words, and she covered her face with her hands and pulled away from him. “I can’t… that thought… it’s too much to bear.”

“Your fears are completely understandable under the circumstances. We have far too much leveled against us, with no end to our journey in sight. What an incredible amount of pressure to undertake. But Tav, you’ve been amazing thus far. Why do you think everyone trusts you so implicitly? No one else could have gotten this eccentric group of misfits this far, to survive as much as we have. Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve managed it. You don’t realize how extraordinary you truly are. My dear friend, we would all follow you anywhere. I would follow you anywhere. If anyone is going to get us all through this, it’s you.” 

Tav looked up at him again, a new light and curiosity in her glance. “You truly believe that?”

“With all my heart.”

Suddenly she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Oak father preserve him, Tav had him wrapped around her finger. “Thanks, Halsin,” she whispered into him. She looked up at him again, and her face finally softened into a smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Tav, I - “ he tried to find the right words. “Please know that I’m always here for you, if you ever need to talk about anything. I will do my best to help you, in any way that you need.”

She was still looking up at him, her gaze searching. She was so beautiful, he could hold back no longer. Cautiously, he lowered his face down towards her, watching her expression as he did so. She did not pull away, and her lips parted as her glance fell to his mouth. He closed the distance and pressed his lips to hers. He tasted the salt of her tears as he kissed her, and she kissed him back, tentatively at first, but quickly growing more eager. Her lips were full, soft and warm. Finally they both had to pull away, gasping for air. He had to stop now before he took things too far. He couldn’t ask that much of her just now in her current vulnerable state.

Tav stared at him, stunned. Then as if suddenly realizing where she was, she blushed and gave him a shy, tentative smile. “Wow,” She gasped as she found her voice. “What was that?”

“I’ve dreamed about kissing you for a long time,” he confessed to her.

“Really? But I didn’t… I thought… you’ve never…” Tav stammered.

“I know. I didn’t want to do anything to upset you or harm our friendship. And I didn’t want to distract you during such a crucial and difficult time. I’ve been trying to keep my distance, to let you focus.”

Tave let out a breathy laugh. “Well, it’s a very welcome distraction.” She hesitated, then looked up at him shyly once more. “I’ve been thinking about that as well, with you.”

He wrapped her in his arms once more and held her in silence. They sat together, listening to the night sounds of the forest and the babble of the nearby stream. Gradually, he felt her relax in his arms. Her head began to droop against his shoulder. He could have stayed this way all night. But reluctantly, he gently shook her awake.

“You should try to get some sleep,” he told her. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

She sighed. “You’re right.” She stood up and handed the blanket back to him. She tried to return the cloth as well, but he told her to keep it. She seemed reluctant to go. “Thank you, Halsin. This was… it means a lot.” She smiled at him once more.

And she was gone before he could respond, leaving him alone once more in the woods, the blanket in his arms, all of his senses full of her, and his mind a whirl of thoughts, emotions and desires.

[gangplanksorenji]

Incandescence

Pairing: Kep1er Youngeun x Male Reader

Word Count: 2674

A/N: Hi Orenjideul! Just a quick fic just to get myself into writing once again and this girl made me down bad in a quick amount of time idk why but here it is! Hope you like this quick one... <3

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Multiple screams resonate around the area and the flickering of lights amongst the so-called pandemonium of people is irritating to lay your eyes upon, even so, blinding to see. 

But it doesn't matter. It's even better right now. 

Sure, you want to scream your lungs out with a full-on support of the crowd of people as they perform but you wouldn't miss this chance. Not when a short, black-haired girl invited you as a repercussion from you being a nuisance hours ago before they even started performing (being annoying, in a teasing way, of course).

There's nothing more blinding than her beauty. Nothing more.

“Oh god, Oppa.”, she silently whimpers, a nigh-inaudible cry from your princess is a way to start everything she wants. Of course, she wants this—no, need this.

“Sh-shit, more please!”

Swearing isn't in her vocabulary, yet it's hypocritical in times like this as she can't help but feel good—it's just another unfinished, near-infinite melody of sounds and moans that's just music to your ears. 

Another wants that she'll die to beg for, and you won't let those wants go unattended, so you immediately take action. Latch your lips onto her sharp collarbone, she squirms in delight—she missed this, and so did you. You tend not to mark her, even though at times, you can't help but unleash the devil inside you as you want everybody to know who she belongs to.

“This needy, huh? I understand Youngeun—I really need you too.”

Well, that was quick. 

You don't care about the tough demeanor anymore. You want her—no, need her. As much as you want the sternness inside you to intimidate and maybe even possibly scare her, your softness explodes around her as she herself is a ball of sunshine. 

Yet what she wants is what she'll get. After averting your lips towards her neck and collarbones, you caught her lips again and locked in a tangled kiss. The way she kisses you is so sensational and slow that it's almost perfect—and it's like you can't find another great kisser like her.

“I k-know you kiss me so good, Oppa, but I want t-the real thing now…”

She could have never been more straightforward than this. You yourself, you can't help but get onto the climax immediately.

You lean onto the plain, white-colored wall as you let yourself be relaxed and prepare for what's about to happen.

A mischievous smile emanates on your face as she gets down on her knees slowly, her knees probably shuddering because of the cold marble floor but she doesn't care—she wants you, now.

“Gonna do the thing you're best at?”

“With pleasure, Oppa.”

Her ravenous mouth waters as she hurriedly undresses the clothing blocking her treasured prize. With only just your last bit of defense left, she smirked in victory as carefully yanked down your boxers, your painfully erect length now free from its frustrating restraints and even, almost hitting her in the face.

“So hard for me, Oppa. Did your little kitten turn you on this much?”

“Fuck!”

Just before she finishes her sentence, you squirm in pleasure. It's just from her little pressure exerted by her small, dainty hands, what more she can do when she's balls deep inside your mouth—

Your imagination flew over its limits once Youngeun had her hands on work. She strokes half of your length with a pace that's leisurely slow as she teases your slit playfully, the colorless liquid leaking out of it being the cherry on top. 

“I missed this, Oppa—I really do. I can't wait to see what you have in store for me, again…”

She giggles in excitement as you're deemed powerless from her advances, taking control of your needy, throbbing shaft. You can't think of anything more, or even articulate such words that can further turn her on but it doesn't matter—Youngeun doing everything to please you that you've been deprived off for months is nothing more you can ask for.

“May I, daddy?”

There she is. That's the word you're been wanting to hear to escape from her dirty mouth—it'll be soon like it, literally. 

This isn't something new. Dayeon could deliver peak-subbiness better than Youngeun—but it doesn't matter; don't think about Dayeon, avert your attention to this adorable princess.

Giving her the green light, she wasted no time giving you the experience that falters you. You became weak and powerless once Youngeun's mouth came introduced, accommodating the foreign object with all of her might.

The first few inches were immaculate, too pleasurable to withstand but you will as you wanted to give her what she needs. She lazily bobs her head, up and down, the same motion that's been repeated for at least a dozen of times. She's still struggling, even with only half of your length inside her tight throat, she can't help but gag—the sound so sinful that it arouses you further—and drool all over it.

It might seem like she's not doing a good job in her mind, but for you, she's doing great. You reassure her, stroking her black-colored locks, starting for the scalp and all the way down your arms reach. She didn't increase the pace as you know she can't take more than half of your length in a sudden, yet she wants to prove something—make you proud, that's what she wants.

“Don't need to rush anything—god…”

Your words deaf to her ears as she moved her mouth deeper—deeper into the valley of lust and need—as takes you all in. You were surprised at first but you didn't mind as the seconds passed. Her tight cavern constricts around your throbbing length which adds further stimulation that you absolutely love.

“Fu–ughh—ahh!”

The further gagging and coughing ejects the foreign object inside her mouth, coughing right after. She can't take it all, you know this, yet, who are you to control what she wants? You're willing to give everything to her at this very moment yet she ran over her limits—you reassure her that it's alright, she then smiles in satisfaction but doesn't distract herself onto other things and averted her focus towards where she's best at.

She takes you in, again, the wholeness of your throbbing length. Albeit her sudden inexperience on this field, choking on your cock is definitely what she wants. The accumulated drool, the tears of unbridled lust running down her cheeks and probably, the inevitable wetness of her crotch are the cherries on top, in which you dearly adore.

She's choking but she doesn't care. The marks of her lipstick smudge around the base of your shaft and still, she doesn't care. She doesn't mind how dirty she can be. All she cares about is the delicious meal that she's having fun of and, to serve you pleasure.

“Hey baby—fuck—aren't you gonna perform again? You're making a m-mess on yourself—s-shit…”

“No—that's why I'm giving you everything you want, daddy.”

She kisses your tip after withdrawing to let herself regain oxygen—even with her nostrils open, all she can even smell is the musky scent of your shaft and her strawberry lipstick.

She's bold and brave. You're proud of her because of it yet you can't help but feel anxious. You're afraid that the sinful sounds and moans inside this puny room may not be able to contain it all as everything is getting louder and louder, a tone that is music to your very ears. You didn't care anymore—and it's like someone is going to check you up to the very end of the dressing room and you're glad that it's just the two of you here.

“Fuck, such a good girl for me, huh?”

More slurps and bobs is all it takes for you to feel that familiar tingle in your loins, signaling your very near release. As much as you wanted to explode down her tight cavern of her mouth, you won't wanna waste such a load on her—you need to feel something so bad that you can't help yourself to think about it.

“Stop, baby.”

“Daddy, is a-anything wrong?”

Her eyes are glistening with lust and curiosity. She's confused about your command as she knows you wanted her to suck you off until you explode but she anticipates. What a nice girl for her daddy. She really is.

“Nothing, honestly. I just want to fuck you so bad right now.”

And yes, with her outfit? Oh, you could only do one thing and you'll waste no time doing that. 

She always looked spectacular and breathtaking. The way her flawless features compliments her outfit feels like she came straight from a movie—she looks surreal. Her hair, her body, her face—just her.

“Daddy, please—”

“Please what, baby?”

“Hngg—ahh! Too much, daddy!”

Stimulating her too much is her kryptonite, but you didn't care, because you know that's what she wanted at the first place—it also explains how she's insanely wet as her cunt drips like a leaking faucet, staining the marble floor down below.

“Baby, you gotta let daddy know what do you want baby—”

“Please j-just put it in me, daddy…”

The indulgence of the dance of your fingers down her soppily wet cunt takes her into further submission—even though she was already like that from the start—and you loved every second of it. Her constant, desperate pleas of getting filled, her inevitable cries and her love towards you—yes, it was truly everything you'll ask for.

And maybe even no more. The subsequent pleas of submission were further answered: your cock filling her up to the hilt, just like what she wanted.

This wasn't new, maybe, at least. You'll feel and fill her up whenever she wanted to yet it feels so awkward—

You don't care.

“All I want is you, baby.”

And there your hips goes, stabilizing a rhythm that the both of you were satisfied with—a profound pleasure everlasting between the clashing of both your bodies. You even pulled her hair (not enough to hurt her) to even get a better grip on fucking her as it helped by a lot. The pace was moderate, as you wanted to just let her know how much you love her and it's evident: her soothing, lust-filled moans that reverberated around your ear is enough evidence.

Further getting a better grip of her, you held her waist with both hands as with all of her might, she lets herself just be inches away from you. She takes hold of both of your shoulders to support herself, you then, aiding her as your thrusts become slower, but still filling her up to the hilt.

“Daddy, I l-love you—s-so much—ahh! So m-much, daddy…”

“I love you too baby, more than anything in this world.”

You mark your words, truly. You meant those with all your heart and soul, and you'll always let her know that—

“Then prove it, d-daddy.”

“Prove what, baby?”

You pull out of her tight cavern as you can see Youngeun's eyes roll, knowing how dumb you're playing the game. She knows you're playing with her, but she still anticipates the climax.

“Prove it by pounding me hard against this mirror, daddy.”

She's unanticipatedly daring and you couldn't believe your ears picked up. It almost feels like it didn't come out of her mouth—well, it definitely did and her own animalistic urges were to blame.

You won't waste any time. You set more gasoline to the flames of lust as both your bodies clashed together again, also, the sudden penetration making her yelp, her mouth agape on how big you are inside her.

“More please, daddy!”

She begs, you fulfill. A simple formula you won't forget and you'll never will. Resuming your frantic thrusting, you feel heavenly as too much serotonin coursed down your veins. Every gyration of your hips hits a successive moan from her, following yours—both of your cries sound rhythmically arranged, drowned within the symphony of moans you always (and her) love hearing. 

With more deeper thrusts earns an inevitably seductive moan, which turns you even more—and it's also a hot scene: her hands holding its dearest life onto the metal railings and the hot scene of her being railed against the mirror is just too fucling much. Yet, you don't care. As much as you want to strip her clothing one by one, she looks almost perfect with it. It's way too hot if you'll fulfill your desire with her in that outfit. 

Maybe it's just the fact that you have a kink of a cute girl in a skirt…

“Daddy, daddy, d-daddy! Ahh—fuck! Too good—too good!”

Her chants power your hips to bring an onslaught of thrusts that's unmatched than the first one. You're fucking her so hard without a care that you're afraid that this tiny room may conceal the chamber of lustful moans trapped inside within the small area on the corner and the railings giving up on dear life on how much Youngeun's been gripping them ever since you've fucked her cunt mercilessly.

You never stop and probably you never will. You won't stop until you've filled her needy cunt full of your thick seed yet some needs must come first.

“Daddy, I'm going to fucking cum! All over you!”

With the given signal, you resume with more hammering thrusts as her cunt leaks too much of her nectar, as you feel her closing her high. You help her as she screams her lungs out, her reservoir breaking loose as she creams all over your throbbing length. Her orgasm became so powerful that she almost fell unconscious so you became worried and thankfully, she wanted you to ram her again without giving a care, wanting you to cum inside her yet with a reflection, you have other things in mind.

“Get down on your knees for me.”

“W-what? I need you to cum inside me, da—”

“This will be the last time I'm repeating myself, baby. Get on your knees.”

Youngeun is frustrated once your cock left her incredibly tight cunt as she does what she's been told. She instantly knew what you'd do, so, as the good girl as she is, she stuck out her tongue, her legs still quivering from her recently strong orgasm as she anticipated your load. Anticipating a load for a lifetime that she'll forever cherish.

“Cum all over my pretty face, daddy. I know you wanted to from the start. Paint every inch of me white with your seed! Please dadd—”

You erupt.

The tremors broke the dam inside you, resulting in a magnitude of thick spurts of you semen spraying all over her beautiful, ruined visage. She wanted no cum getting wasted so she held your length and stroked it furiously, and of course, she aimed it right to her face for better accuracy. She tried to catch anything she could get with her tongue but was deemed not successful because of the volume of your load.

“God, daddy—you came so much. It's so warm on my face—mwah”

A few kisses and slurps to clean you up is the finale of the show as it sends shivers down your spine, the post-sensitivity finally getting in after an earth-shaking orgasm.

“So fucking delicious too, daddy. Thank y-you for this—you're the best daddy.”

You smiled as she got up slowly, her legs wobbly and weak from all of the pounding she took earlier. Everything felt amazing yet once you've regained awareness, you curse on how dirty the both of you were so you panicked, but Youngeun calmed you down and handed some tissues as she invited you to the bathroom to “clean up”.

“My legs feel like shit, Oppa—oh no…”

“I'm sure they'll understand.”

Youngeun giggles as you reassure her, she then feels calm and collected from your actions which she finds sweet and thoughtful.

“Yujin-unnie and Xiaoting-unnie will, because, y'know…”

“Hey! We don't talk about that here, okay?”

“Okay, Oppa… Help me get cleaned? To the bathroom?”

“Sure, I don't see why not, baby.”

We'll you'll definitely see what's not and what's something once the lights emanates around you—

[xhoess]

Rivals in the Spotlight

Yunho!dancer × fem!bod singer

Masterlist

Y/N is a passionate singer determined to secure a scholarship, often feeling overshadowed at her performing arts school by Yunho, a confident and popular dancer, dreams of becoming a professional dancer while managing the pressure from his family's legacy. When they are cast as the leads in the school's musical, their well-known rivalry escalates, leading to strong disagreements in during the rehearsals. Will they get over their little rivalry and put up a good show?

Wc: I think around 4k

Genre: enemies to lovers, smut, fluff

It is 8 am, and I am currently riding the bus to school. Today is the day I find out who will get the leads in the new school play. I don’t know a lot of people who are participating, but I definitely know one person: Jeong Yunho. That son of a bitch always knows how to get on my nerves, especially when I’m already in my worst mood.

I feel stupid writing this down, but I’ve been doing this for so long that I feel the need to keep this stupid diary updated. Even though it’s 40 percent me complaining about Yunho, it still is a good way to express myself, I think? I look out the bus window as the familiar scenery of my neighborhood blurs past. My thoughts keep circling back to the audition. What if I actually get the lead? What if Yunho gets it too?

As I walk into the school, I feel eyes burning into my back. That only means one thing: the names are out. My heart races as I rush to the performing arts hallway. A group of people is gathering around a piece of paper on the wall. Yunho is there too. Of course.

I push through the crowd, my palms sweating. I quickly find myself standing in front of the paper, and now I get why people have been staring. Me and Yunho need to play the two leads in the play. The worst part is that we need to play a couple. I play Alice, the female lead and yunho plays Jay the male lead.

"No fucking way... I thought you would be a background singer or something," Yunho says, standing next to me, also staring at the paper.

"Shut up, Yunho. You’re as tall as a tree, might as well play one," I snap before walking away.

The rest of the day, I try my best to avoid talking to people and head straight home after school. My best friend Rina calls me as soon as I get home.

"Can you believe this?" I vent, flopping onto my bed. "Of all people, I have to play opposite Yunho. This is a nightmare."

"Maybe you can be so miserable to him that he’ll quit," Rina suggests.

"I wish," I sigh. "But he’s way too competitive to just quit."

The next morning, I wake up with a knot in my stomach. I can't avoid Yunho forever. Rehearsals start today. I arrive at the auditorium early, hoping to get a moment alone before the chaos begins. The large, empty space feels oddly comforting. I stand on the stage, looking out at the rows of empty seats, trying to imagine myself performing without wanting to throw up.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to see Yunho walking towards me, his usual smirk replaced with a more serious expression.

"Hey," he says, surprisingly without a hint of sarcasm. "We need to talk."

I cross my arms defensively. "About what?"

"Look, I know we don't get along, but we have to make this work for the play's sake. It’s important to both of us, right?" His voice is calm, almost sincere.

I’m taken aback by his change in tone. "Yeah, I guess."

"Let’s just try to keep it professional," Yunho suggests. "We can hate each other offstage, but when we’re up here, we need to be convincing."

I nod, still wary. "Fine. But don’t think this means I’m going to make it easy for you."

He chuckles. "Wouldn’t expect anything less."

The sun is setting, casting long shadows through the tall windows of the rehearsal room. Once everyone is ready for rehearsal we start. Because this is the first rehearsal we only needed to learn the first few pages.

I see yunho get in character and that reminded me that we are going to be lovers in the end of the play.

"Okay everyone, get in place for the first scene" the director said.

I stand across from yunho and did some last warming up.

"3.. 2.. 1.... and go!"

"Alice did you hear what happened" yunho says.

The rehearsals go on for a little more, but I keep forgetting a few words in some sentences. I can feel the tension growing.

"Buy Jay, you never know what happens when you say no" I say, I realize the sentence is wrong. And yunho does too.

"You're impossible, you know that?" Yunho snaps, slamming his script onto a nearby table. "Do you even care about this play?"

I cross my arms, matching his glare. "Of course I care! But you’re not the director, Yunho. Stop acting like you know everything and let's just continue"

He steps closer, his eyes blazing with frustration. "Someone has to take charge when you keep messing up your lines!"

My fists clench at my sides. "I wouldn’t mess up if you weren’t constantly trying to outdo everyone. This isn’t a solo performance, Yunho. It’s a team effort."

Yunho scoffs, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You just can’t handle that I’m better at this than you."

"Better?" I laugh bitterly. "Your ego is so big, I’m surprised you can fit through the door."

He narrows his eyes, his jaw tightening. "At least I put in the effort. All you do is complain and act like a victim."

My blood boils, and I take a step forward, refusing to back down. "You think you’re so perfect, don’t you? Always criticizing everyone else to make yourself look good."

"Maybe if you spent less time whining and more time practicing, we wouldn’t have these problems," he shoots back.

I feel my face flush with anger. "You’re such a jerk, Yunho. No wonder no one likes working with you."

For a moment, there’s silence, the words hanging heavily in the air. Yunho’s expression falters slightly, a flicker of hurt crossing his face before it hardens again.

"You don’t know anything about me," he says quietly, his voice trembling with barely controlled rage. "You’re so wrapped up in your own little world, you can’t see past your own nose."

I open my mouth to retort, but the words catch in my throat. We stand there, breathing heavily, the room suddenly feeling too small, too stifling.

Finally, Yunho breaks the silence, his voice cold. "If you can’t handle this, maybe you should quit."

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. "Maybe I will," I manage to say, my voice shaking. "At least then I wouldn’t have to deal with you."

We stare at each other for a moment longer before I turn on my heel and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind me. My heart is pounding, a mix of anger and something else I can’t quite name. As I walk down the empty hallway, I can’t help but wonder if things will ever get better between us.

Yunho is left there standing, regretting some words he said.

The cool evening air hits my face as I storm out of the auditorium, my anger still simmering beneath the surface. I find a bench near the entrance and collapse onto it, trying to catch my breath. The sky is tinged with the pinks and purples of twilight, but I’m too wrapped up in my thoughts to appreciate the beauty.

"Why does he have to be such a jerk?" I mutter to myself, kicking a small pebble with my shoe.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s a message from Rina.

**Rina:** Hey, how did rehearsal go? Any updates?

I hesitate before replying, not sure how to put my frustration into words.

**Me:** It was a disaster. Yunho and I had a huge fight. Again.

Her response is almost immediate.

**Rina:** Ugh, that sucks. Want to talk about it?

**Me:** Maybe later. I just need to cool down right now.

**Rina:** Okay, just remember, you’re amazing and you can handle this. Don’t let him get to you.

I smile slightly at her words, feeling a bit better. Rina always knows how to make me feel better.

The next day:

The cafeteria is buzzing with activity as I navigate my way through the crowd, holding my lunch tray. I spot Rina at our usual table and make my way over, sliding into the seat across from her.

"Hey," she says, giving me a sympathetic look. "You look exhausted."

I sigh, poking at my food. "Didn’t sleep much. Just kept thinking about everything that happened."

She nods, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Yunho really knows how to push your buttons, huh?"

"Yeah," I agree, feeling the frustration bubble up again. "I don’t get it. One minute he’s trying to be all professional, and the next he’s tearing me down."

"Maybe he’s just stressed," Rina suggests. "This play is a big deal for everyone."

"Maybe," I concede, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. "But it’s like he enjoys making me miserable."

Before Rina can respond, I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Can we talk?"

I turn to see Yunho standing there, looking unusually serious. Rina raises an eyebrow, but I nod, getting up from the table. We move to a quieter corner of the cafeteria.

"What do you want, Yunho?" I ask, crossing my arms defensively.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Look, about yesterday... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to get so heated."

I blink, taken aback. This is not the Yunho I’m used to. "You’re... apologizing?"

"Yeah," he says, looking genuinely uncomfortable. "I’ve been thinking about what you said, and you’re right. I’ve been acting like a jerk."

I stare at him, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

He shrugs, looking away. "I guess I realized that we’re stuck with each other for this play, and if we keep fighting, it’s going to ruin everything. For both of us."

His words make sense, but it’s hard to let go of the anger so quickly. "So, what do you suggest?"

"Truce?" he offers, holding out his hand. "Let’s try to make this work. For the sake of the play."

I hesitate for a moment before shaking his hand. "Truce."

At the Rehearsal Room, Late Afternoon:

Back in the rehearsal room, there’s a noticeable shift in the atmosphere. Yunho and I still have our differences, but we’re making an effort to be civil. Our scenes start to flow better, the tension easing with each passing day.

One evening, after a particularly grueling rehearsal, I find myself sitting on the edge of the stage next to Yunho. We’re both exhausted but there’s a sense of accomplishment in the air.

"You know," I say, breaking the comfortable silence, "I never thought I’d say this, but we’re actually doing pretty well."

Yunho smiles, a genuine one this time. "Yeah, who would’ve thought?"

This new feeling was brewing in my chest, it wasn't hatred, it was far from that.

"You know I never meant to be harsh the other day" yunho says, looking down at his shoes that are hanging off the side of the stage.

"Its okay, I said some mean stuff to you too." You lift your shoulders a little while saying. "I really need this play to go well so I can have a higher chance of getting a scholarship. That's why I was getting pissed off by you" I say.

"My parents always expect the best of me, just because they were the best in their days doesn't mean I am. I guess that's why I got so angry at you for saying I wasn't a team player." Yunho sighs ".. I really try to be but sometimes my parents just get into my head and make me forget this is not a contest"

I frown at his story, it's sad that he can't express his passion the way he wants.

I stand up and hold my hand out for yunho. He looks up confused but grabs it, I pull him up and say "you need to enjoy this yunho, talk to your parents about it. It is your life and it should be fun while you're here" I say with a soft voice, not realizing that our hands are still together.

He suddenly pulls me into a hug which caught me off guard. "Thank you y/n. You're not so bad after all" I hear him whisper.

The morning of the play:

"Ahh! How are you feeling? Today’s the day!" Rina exclaims, practically bouncing with excitement as she walks next to me.

I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. "I’m feeling really good about all this. Not only will this improve my chances of getting a scholarship, but it’s also helped Yunho and me forgive each other."

We turn a corner, and my heart skips a beat when I see Yunho standing there, talking to one of his friends. I’m about to wave when I catch his words.

"I don't know, man. She is so annoying. I can't handle it any longer. I'm happy this act is all over after tonight."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. Tears well up in my eyes. How could he say that after everything we’ve been through? After the connection we shared the other night?

Rina notices my change in demeanor immediately. "What’s wrong?"

I swallow hard, trying to keep my voice steady. "I just heard Yunho saying he can't stand me and he's glad this is all over after tonight."

Rina's eyes widen in shock, then narrow in anger. "What? That can’t be right. That son of a bitch"

I nod, biting my lip to keep from crying. "I don’t know if I can go through with this tonight, acting like everything is fine. This play has done nothing but be stressfull, I'm done"

Rina takes my hand, her grip firm and comforting. "Listen, I know this hurts, but quitting now isn’t the answer. You’ve worked too hard to let this ruin it. Just hold on a little longer, don't say or do anything you will regret later" she said "I'll be right back just don't do anything okay?"

I nod, trying to take comfort in her words, but the ache in my chest remains. I steal another glance at Yunho, who’s laughing at something his friend said

Later that day in the school's hallway:

“That jerk,” she mutters, clenching her fists. “I can’t believe he said that about you after everything you two have been through.”

I shrug, trying to act indifferent, but the hurt is clear in my eyes. “It’s fine, Rina. Let’s just get through tonight.”

“No, it’s not fine,” she snaps, standing up abruptly.

Before I can stop her, Rina storms across the hallway, heading straight for Yunho. My heart races, and I quickly follow her, catching snippets of her angry muttering.

“Rina, wait!” I call out, but she’s already reached Yunho and his group.

“Hey, Yunho!” Rina’s voice cuts through the chatter, silencing the group. Yunho looks up, surprised.

“Rina? What’s up?”

“What’s up?” she repeats, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ll tell you what’s up. How dare you talk about Y/N like that behind her back?”

Yunho’s brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Rina spits, crossing her arms. “Y/N heard you this morning, calling her annoying and saying you’re glad this is all over after tonight. How could you, after everything you two have been through?”

Yunho’s face pales, realization dawning on him. “Wait, that’s not what I—”

“Oh, save it!” Rina cuts him off, her anger palpable. “She thought you were friends, that you understood each other. But you’re just a two-faced jerk!”

By now, a small crowd has gathered, watching the confrontation unfold. I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and hurt, but I don’t stop Rina. She’s saying everything I wish I had the courage to say.

“Rina, please,” Yunho tries again, his voice pleading. “You’ve got it all wrong. I wasn’t talking about Y/N like that.”

“Then who were you talking about?” Rina demands, her eyes blazing.

Yunho takes a deep breath, looking around at the crowd before focusing on Rina. “I was talking about the director, I was talking to my friend about how I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by her, she has been on my toes the last few rehearsals. And plus if I had to say something mean to y/n I would just say it to hee face, I've done it the last few years.”

Rina’s anger falters, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her face "Oh, well this is awkward" she said while laughing awkwardly.

That evening:

A buzz of excitement fills the air as students, teachers, and parents take their seats in the auditorium. Backstage, the cast is a whirlwind of activity, making final adjustments to costumes and props. My heart pounds in my chest, a mix of nerves and exhilaration. I peek through the curtain and see the audience settling in. This is it. Months of hard work, late nights, and overcoming differences have led to this moment.

Yunho stands next to me, adjusting his costume. He looks at me and smiles, a warm, genuine smile that sends a flutter through my stomach. "You ready?"

I nod, trying to steady my breath. "Ready as I'll ever be."

The romance scene is next up —the moment where our characters, after a series of misunderstandings and conflicts, finally confess their love. The lines have become second nature, but tonight, something feels different. There's an electricity in the air, a deeper connection that wasn’t there during rehearsals.

As Yunho and I move through our lines, the world around us fades away. It's just the two of us on stage, our characters’ emotions mirroring our own unspoken feelings. Yunho steps closer, his character's confession blending seamlessly with his own emotions.

"I've been thinking a lot about us," he says, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "And I realized something important. I can't imagine my life without you."

My heart races as I respond, my own feelings bubbling to the surface. "I feel the same way. You’ve challenged me, pushed me, and made me better. I’ve never felt this way before."

Yunho takes my hand, and the touch sends a spark through me. He looks into my eyes, and for a moment, it’s as if time stands still. "I love you," he says, I know it's just his character speaking. But it's feels a little too real.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I whisper, "I love you too."

The curtain falls, and the audience erupts into applause. We take our bows, the adrenaline still coursing through our veins. Backstage, the cast congratulates each other, but all I can think about is Yunho.

I find him in a quiet corner, away from the chaos. He looks up as I approach, a soft smile on his face "hey"

"Hey" I reply

"That was... incredible" He says, stepping closer.

I could smell his perfume, he was standing so close. It made My heart beat a lot faster. "It really was..."

He looks down and meet my eyes, we don't say anything but we both feel what's about to come. "Would you like to go somewhere private..?" He asks, his voice low.

I nod, "I would like that"

He grabs my hand and we walk towards the drama room. The place where it all began. The room is quiet and dark, the only source of light is the moonlight that is shining through the tall windows.

Yunho closes the door behind us, and the click of the lock seems to tighten the tension even more. We stand there for a moment, just looking at each other in silence.

He moves closer, his hand moving away a piece of my hair.

His lips meet mine, it starts of soft but quickly deepens. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer until there is no more space left between us.

We pull away, stading there breathlessly. And yunhos eyes search mine. A silent question hanging in the air. I nod, giving him my answer without him having to ask it.

He leads me to the small couch in to corner of the room, we sink down on soft cushions, his hands move gently over the curves of my body. I lay one of my hands on his bicep, he tenses up under my touch and his muscles tighten.

Yunho reconnects the kiss again, this time it's with hunger and passion. He slowly slides his hand under my shirt, cupping one of my breasts. The warmth of his hand tingling on my skin.

I gasp when he pulls my shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. Exposing me to the cool air. He lowers his head and starts to kiss me all over my body "you're so beautiful" He murmurs against my skin.

I blush, my hands start to unbutton his shirt revealing his chest. He shrugs himself out of the fabric and I move my hands over his skin.

We're now left in our underwear, Yunho's hand moves down, his fingers teasing the edge of my panties before slipping under the material. When his finger enters me, a groan escapes my lips, muffled by our kiss.

He takes my reaction as encouragement, adding another finger and moving in and out in a steady movement. The sensation of his fingers moving in and out of me sends waves of pleasure through my body, and I arch my back, pressing closer to him.

"Yunho," I whisper, my voice breathy and filled with need.

He breaks the kiss, his eyes locking onto mine, dark with desire. "Does this feel good?" he asks, his voice husky.

"Yes," I moan, my hands gripping his shoulders for support.

Yunho's free hand trails up my side, his touch light and teasing. He kisses a path down my neck, his lips leaving a burning trail on my skin. As his fingers continue their rhythm, he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. The combined sensations are almost too much, and I gasp, my fingers digging into his shoulders.

"Yunho, I need you," I manage to say between ragged breaths.

He looks up at me, his expression a mix of tenderness and desire. "I need you too," he whispers.

With a final, lingering kiss, he pulls his fingers out and helps me out of the last of our clothing. We pause for a moment, just taking in the sight of each other, the intimacy of the moment deepening our connection.

Yunho gently lays me back on the couch, positioning himself above me. He takes a condom from his wallet, and with a quick, practiced motion, he rolls it on. His eyes meet mine, seeking one last confirmation.

I nod, my heart pounding with a mix of nerves and anticipation. "I'm ready."

He aligns himself with me, and as he slowly enters, we both gasp at the sensation. He moves with care, giving us both time to adjust. Once he’s fully inside, he pauses, our foreheads touching as we share a moment of stillness

Yunho starts to move, it's slow at first but once I wrapped my legs around his waist he couldn't hold back any longer. A groan escaped from his lips and he fastened his pace.

His hands roam over my body, caressing and teasing, driving me closer to the edge. I can feel the tension building, the knot tightening inside of me.

"Yunho I'm close" I whisper against his neck.

"Me too" He says, his voice strained with his pleasure.

The sound of our breathing is getting heavier and faster. With a final trust I feel a wave of pleasure wash over me, yunho throws his head back when he feels my juices spilling over his cock. That is enough to send him over the edge too. Our moans filling the silent room.

We collapse together, yunho holds me close. His breath warm against my skin as we come down from the high.

"I think I like you y/n" yunho said, pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

"I like you too yunho" I whisper back.

We lie there for a little longer, wrapped in each other's arms. And that's when I realized that this moment was the beginning of something beautiful.

[misguidedasgardian]

I need to (12)

... Have you

MASTERLIST

Summary: Your few first times with Cregan

Pairings: Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader 

Warnings: cursing, drinking, horny people, PDA, teasing, smut, a bit akward amut, it's their first time alright? haha, use of preservatives and discussions about birthcontrol, might miss some warnings, you know what this is about jeje, reader is a carnivour

Wordcount: 3.8 k

Notes: I was going to put this in warnings hahaha but I think, if you want, listen to “can’t keep my hands to myself”

“There is something I’ve wanted to try for a few weeks now”, you said lowly, your eyes sparkling, Cregan looked back at you with interest

“Oh yeah?”, he purred

“Yeah”, you sighed, passing on his coffee, he took a long sip, not breaking eye contact with you, as you did the same with your chocolate induced coffee

And then you locked lips

It was as delicious as you imagined, coffee, chocolate, cinnamon, Cregan… Mmmm

And then, you split when you heard Sara making retching noises

“You are going to give me diabetes with all this sweetness”, she mocked, while Jacaerys pretended to make himself sick by putting his index finger on his mouth

“Very funny”, mocked Cregan, finally turning to them

“I thought you were rooting for us”, you said, feigning to be offended

“Yes but this PDA is just getting out of hand”, muttered Sara

“So, where are you going on saturday?”, asked Jace

“It’s a surprise”, he said, placing an arm over your shoulders 

It’s been a week since the party, and you had been with Cregan every time you could after classes

You felt a like a little girl with her first crush

You were advancing slowly, tomorrow you were going on your first official date, and you couldn’t wait for it 

He was acting… more handsy, and you think he was expecting you to go back to his place after… and that got you a bit nervous

Sara immediately saw your change in attitude

“My gorgeous friend and I need to get to class” she said, standing from her seat and grabbing you, you didn’t complained, grab your coffee a last peck to Cregan and walked away with Sara

“What’s going on?”, she asked quickly

“Nothing”, you muttered

“Don’t lie”

“Nothing I just… think that Cregan would like for me to spend the night, and I’m so nervous”

“Don’t feel pressured”

“I won’t is just… the the only person I had sex with really did a work on me, I have only been with one person before, and I’m nervous”

“That is understandable”, she offered, “talk to him”

“I’m done talking, I want to show him how much I care and want him”

“Your chemistry is great, I’m sure you will be fine”, she assured you, “but don’t feel pressured” 

“I won’t”, you said

You were nervous, what if… you didn’t perform correctly? What if he didn’t? What if it was weird?

Aemond was your first, you were his first, you were really young, horny, and as his family sexually repressed him, you were really ignorant, and learned on the go, together… you were really… you wanted to try new things… Aemond… not so much

You didn’t want to compare, but… he was the only experience you had

It was quick, to quench your thirst as it were, not very personal even though you always felt strange, like he was using you to satisfy his needs and that’s it… 

You shouldn’t compare, but again, you weren’t, you just had… a very limited experience 

You had nothing to compare it to

You did not had classes at this hour, but you did had therapy, and it was a great opportunity to talk about this with her 

But with Cregan everything felt so right, so amazing and sweet, it was going to be fine

Your therapy session went great, and your therapist just advised you to “go with the flow” regarding the night, and well, other things that made complete sense

You could breathe a bit lighter and even though you just saw him this morning, you wanted to see Cregan again! 

What was up with you???

But you hold on a laugh, class was done for the week and you were ready for your date, but you also wanted to distract yourself, so you went back to your dorm with Sara’s and your’s favourite sandwiches and a soda

“Should I wait for you?”, Sara teased, you laughed nervously, as you finished applying your favourite shade of lipstick

After being all day worrying and being nervous, you decided to play to your strengths, you wore comfortable shoes and pants, but with your favourite, more fancy shirt, and nice accessories, and your favourite look in makeup and hair

Cregan already knew who you were, what you looked like, but you wanted him to be pleasantly surprised, besides, you used your favourite and most sexy lingerie… just in case

Just in case

Either way you felt more sexy like this 

“I’m outside”, ringed a text from Cregan, you shrieked

“He is here!”

“Go you idiot!”

“Wait, what are you going to do tonight?”

“Don’t go to your and Cregan’s date, that's for sure!”, she mocked

“Sorry alright…. See you!”

You ran down the stairs almost endangering yourself, and then… then you saw him, waiting for you, he wore a beautiful smile on his face, a nice dressing shirt, leather jacket, and slick jeans… he looked so handsome

You threw yourself in his arms and he laughed as he held you

“For you”, he said when he released you, giving you a simple and yet beautiful bouquet of flowers, with northerners' flowers. You kissed him softly

“They are beautiful”, you whispered

“Just like you”, he said back, you giggled

“Sooo cheezy”

“Shall we…? My lady?”, he asked pompous, offering you his arm, you laughed loudly, taking it

“Sure my loooord”

He directed you to the road that led to campus, and you gasped when you saw it, a classic car, a beautiful model and colour

“Cregan!”, you gasped

“It was my parent’s”, he said softly, “I only drive it in special occasions”, you gave him a bright smile

“This is so amazing Cregan”, he went ahead and opened the door for you, and you looked at him, standing like that waiting for you, you wanted to cry, you felt butterflies in your belly, you felt so happy and excited

You climbed into the car and he close the door for you to ran around the car and jump in

“So… where are we going?”. You asked him

“Do you like Yi-Ti food?”. You nodded enthusiastically. He smiled softly 

He drove flawlessly trough the city streets, it was a whole new perspective from the caar and you couldn’t stop watching outside the buildings and streets

And the place he took you to?

It was breathtaking

All designed in Yi-Ti fashion and colours, it was a real restaurant from that country, inspired food and decorations, the vibrant colours.

You ordered things to share, as you sat on a secluded spot, a small booth

“I want to know all about you”, he confused

“That is a lot”, you laughed

“Where did you spend your school years?”, he asked

“King’s Landing”, you answered, “there was a year in between which i lived in Casterly Rock, but it didn’t quite do it for me, so my godmother decided to move with me back to my home”, you said, “how about you?”

“Here, all my life”, he admitted

“Would you like to see more?”

“Of course”, he answered, “when I get off of college”

“That sounds like the time”, you were interrupted when they brought you the food, an assortment

You weren’t a big “sharer”, and that made you laugh, but you were willing to start, with Cregan, he seemed to read your mind, and laughed with you

“I will not share dessert”, you teased

“Great, me neither”, he said back, and you both laughed together

“Are you nervous?”, he asked softly, you shook your head

“A bit, yes”, you confessed

“You don’t have to be’, he said dismissively, he grabbed the chopsticks and took a piece of the food, looking straight at you, he fed you the piece and you ate it happily

And that made you shake, you felt goosebumps all over your arms

“Let me”, you tried, and you picked a piece and fed him with it

“Are you still nervous?”, he teased

“No”, you answered truthfully 

It was such an intimate gesture… but it felt so right

You were seated on a booth but decided to sit only in one side of it 

And you talked, all night

He couldn’t drink, because he was driving, and you wanted to sympathise, even though you felt like one drink could ease your nerves, but somehow, being sober only made you feel things more clearly

As he spoke about the things he enjoyed, and how his eyes sparkled, you realised you felt nervous over nothing, you were so ready to be with him 

By the time the desserts arrived, you realised that what he ordered looked even better than what you ordered

“Yours looks better”, he mumbled

“Alright maybe I’m willing to change my rule”, you relented, you were the first to steal a bit of his desert, and he laughed and stole one piece of yours

It was a great date, not only because of the electricity running between the two of you, but because he was the perfect gentleman, he got you, in a sense, you enjoyed the same things but different, you like the same genres of music, but different bands, you liked the same sports, but different teams, you liked the same topics in books, but somehow different, and that was so entertaining.

And as soon as you got in the car, alone, more intimate, you started kissing again, more passionately, heatedly, you were desperate for him, and he was desperate for you 

“Want me to take you home?”, he asked, his pupils were blown out, his skin was heated… yours was too

“Can we go to yours?”, you asked him, and he smiled, like he was relieved

“Yes, yes please”, you laughed, he drove fairly quickly back to his apartment building

You were touching all the way up to his floor, his hand on your, or in your lower back to guide you, you even sneaked a hand in his pocket

You were so ready

When the elevator dinged you almost jumped off of it

You were holding hands, a complicent look on your faces, heated cheeks when you both reached the door to his palace. 

You were ready, you were wanting, you wanted to climb your Cregan like he was a tree, yes, let’s do it

He opened the door to the apartment, and…

For fucks sake

It was a freaking party happening

The apartment was swarmed with people

“What is this?”, asked Cregan, the place was small, so in the midst of all of them appeared Jace

“Sorry, I just… I hung out with the boys of the team and they wanted to keep it going…”

“So you offered our place?”, asked Cregan, he looked back at you and your horrified face, but you tried to smile

“It’s alright”, you said softly, Jace leaned in and whispered into Cregan

“I thought that you were going to take her home”, he whispered, “in your chivalrous crap”

“I thought so too”, Cregan whispered back, he turned and looked at you

“You can still stay”, he said softly. You didn't want to leave… you wanted to be with Cregan, although the prospect of a romantic first time/night with him was far from happening, you still wanted to stay a bit longer

“Sure” 

There were mainly boys, but they inviting their girlfriends, and girl friends, Sara wasn’t here and you wondered why

“I need to take care of something”, he whispered huskily, and you only giggled, “but then we can have a drink”, the prospect of being alone inside a place with people you didn’t know didn’t appealed to you, you smirked

“Want some help?”, you asked, Cregan’s eyes shined mischievously

“Really?”, he asked, smirking

“Let’s go”, you whispered, he smiled widely, taking your hand

“I know this is not as romantic as I have planned”

“It's fine”, you said simply, “parties do make me a bit horny if I had to admit”, you shared looks before he opened the door to his room

You both screamed when you saw two figures on his bed, at you coming inside, one of them, the one that was on top, rolled off, getting off of the other, who turned out to be…

“Get the fuck off my bed Robb!”, growled Cregan, you had never seen him so angry before

“Calm down little cousin”, he mocked

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, he asked, “get out!”, his fly was down, you looked away

“Relax, we were just having some fun”, he said dismissively 

“Go to your house then”, he said, Robb stood up from the bed, shamesly fixing his pants while his “date”, rushed pass you both

“Sorry”, she lamented

“Oh I’m sorry, I thought that you were out…”, he said mockingly, he carried himself like he was the owner of the world, he then turned to you, “Did I interrupted something?”, he asked

“That is none of your business”, he said

“You deserve better than this”, he said, looking at you with a smile

“Like a trashy room in a trashy house?”, you asked, mocking him, “this is just fine”, you said back, defending Cregan, who was a tidy, organised, responsible guy… seemed like

“Whatever, I hope I didn't ruin anything”. He said mockingly, walking away. You both shared looks, and then to the bed in disarray

You sighed, even though you didn’t have them, you felt blue-balled 

Cregan did as well

“Sorry, I’m not… sleeping in there”, he said

“Yeah, me neither”, you giggled, you then looked at him, “let’s go to my dorm”, you offered, “Sara is there, but, we can sleep”

“I’d love that”

You walked back to campus, and when you entered the room, Cregan took his dress shirt, revealing his simple shirt underneath

You both got inside the sheets, you in a cotton shirt and pants, and him in his underwear and shirt. You didn’t feel nervous, you had slept together before, but not like this, Cregan’s bed was bigger than yours… so… 

“This isn’t the romantic evening I had in mind”, he whispered, you giggled

“It’s fine”, you whisper back in the dark

“Can I hug you?”, the bed was small, and you were somehow trying to avoid touching each other 

“Please”, you said back, he did, he held you in his arms and you felt him, all of him

Sara was sleeping next to you, you were not going to do anything, but it felt so sweet, holding each other like that 

Sunday rolled around and Cregan left before Sara even woke up, she was a heavy sleeper

When she did woke up and saw you sleeping right next to her, she whined

“No!”

“Hells, good morning to you too”, you mocked

“Why are you here?”, she asked

“Because last night we try to go to his, but there was a party going on and Robb was getting blown on Cregan’s room”, you resumed

“THAT FUCKER”

“Cock-blocker”, you corrected, “do you think that he did it on purpose?”, you asked back

“Yes”, she said sincerely, “he is a evil mastermind”

“What do we do?”, you asked, she whined

“I’ll get Jace out of there tonight, you just go and jump him”

“Great”

You knew for a fact that Cregan was staying home tonight, it was Sunday after all 

So as the day rolled around, and the sun was hiding on the horizon, you ran to the tavern, and order a big, big set of ribs, and a six pack of beer, and you went gingerly to Cregan’s place, to surprise him

You knew that Jace wasn’t there, so when Cregan opened the door, he smiled widely

“It’s you”

“It’s me”, you teased, and only then, when you were seeing each other for the seventh day in the week, you felt self conscious, “is it too much?”, you asked, raising your hand with the ribs

“Never”, he answered, “because I was about to ask you to come”

“Really?”, you asked, as he let you pass

“Yes, because I had something fixed…”, you left the wings in the table of the dining room, and then he grabbed your hand and took you to his room

You gasped when you saw he had purchased a new set of sheets, a bed cover, and pillow cases

“I also did this”, he said, pointing at the door knob where you saw a new lock installed

“Cregan”, you whispered, he leaned in and kissed your cheek

“New relationship, deserves new sheets, right?”, he asked, “I don’t know why my cousin is giving us a hard time, but… this is my home, and I want it to be our safe space”

“I want that too”, you said

“Great, and i’m starving”, he teased

“Let’s eat”, you said, so happy, you opened the beers, you sat on the couch and while you watched a movie, you ate the best ribs

“So this counts as a second date, right?”, he asked

“Of course, wouldn’t like you thinking I’m so easy”, you laughed

“Never”, he said 

You kept watching the movie after you finished the ribs, you tried to concentrate but you felt Cregan’s gaze on you, his heavy, heavy gaze, you looked at him with a smile on your face

“What?”, you laughed

“You have a bit of sauce”, he whispered huskily

“I’m a messy eater”, he leaned in kissed you on your cheek, and then, he licked the corner of your lips, you let out a soft moan, it wasn’t at all pleasurable, but it was sort of herotic

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you” he confessed

“Lucky us, now you can do it everytime you like”, you teased

Your lips finally collided in a heated, wet, messy kiss

“We should wash our hands and mouths”, you muttered when he abandoned yours

“Fuck it”, it was needy, it tasted like BBQ Sauce and beer, and somehow, it was so pleasurable, “I don’t want to assume, but… do you want to…?”

“Take me to your room”, you begged 

“Oh great”, you stood up, not caring how, you felt like you were levitating, you barely left each other's bodies and stumbled towards his room at the end of the hallway

When finally the door close behind you, he started undressing you, first your top and then his

“Can I undress you?”, he asked

“Yes!”, you teased, you took of your shoes as he did his, and then his big, soft hands went to the button of your jeans, undoing it

This wasn’t the time to feel self-conscious, you were all in, and so was him, you felt like you didn’t have to worry about such things with him.

You felt to the bed, only in your underwear

“Are you sure?”, he asked again, abandoning your mouth to drop open mouthed kisses in your jaw and then neck

“Yes please, have me!”, you begged him 

Maybe you were rushing it, you have known him since like three months, and been relatively dating for a week, but you didn’t care, not anymore

You felt his hand sneaking to your back, and he undid your bra, getting rid of it swiftly

It was so different, all of it

“You are so fucking gorgeous”, he whispered, leaning in and kissing one of your breasts

You moaned, feeling electric 

“So fucking delicious”

“Cregan”, your hand were everywhere you could reach with him, his face, shoulders sides, until you reached to the edge of his boxers

“Wait one sec”, he said, and quickly jumped out of the bed and ran out, you shrieked, covering yourself, you felt his feet padding away, and quickly back

“Sorry, I wanted to buy, then then i didn’t want to assume”, you laughed when you saw that he stole a condom from Jace

“Please get back here!”, you demanded, covering your breasts

“Sorry”, he jumped back in, directly into your arms, and his mouth founds yours

You felt a bit brave, and you touched him until you found.

You moaned, it was… big, you smiled widely at his mouth

“Oh you liked that, didn’t you?”, he teased

“Mhm”, you hummed, he in turn, reached your centre, gently, slowly, over your panties, and only that had you buckling your hips against his hand

“Fuck Cregan, I need you”, you begged, touching his cock until you felt him twitch under your fingers

“Yeah”, he moaned.

You took off each other’s last piece of clothing, it was dark, so you didn’t get to see him. 

You spread your legs for him, finally feeling how wet you were, you wanted him so badly 

He put on his condom, and accommodated himself between your legs. He kissed you hungrily, tenderly, as he entered you slowly, it fit inside so perfectly, it had you both moaning and panting 

“You feel s good around me”, he confessed against your mouth, your mind was elsewhere, only being able to whisper his name, like a prayer 

He retrieved himself only to snap his hips back into you, making you moan loudly

“Wait wait wait”, you called, Cregan looked down at you, stopping his movements, “could be go slow?”, you asked him

“You want to stop?”, he asked, concerned 

“No, no”, you released a sigh, smiling warmly, “I just… want to enjoy it, slowly”, he smiled leaning in and kissing you

“I got you”, he whispered sweetly. He held you as he made love to you, his hips snapping at your centre, sensually, slowly, you could feel every inch, every ridge and vein of his cock as he thrusted into you

You let out the most delicious and delicate sounds as you hugged him against you caressing his shoulders, arms, sides, as he cradled your face

“Look at me”, he begged sweetly, and you did

This wasn’t fucking, this was more slow, more intimate, you were connecting in the most primal and beautiful of ways. His eyes looked down to yours, his beautiful eyes.

He leaned in and kissed you as he fucked you

You never thought it could felt like this

Your climax washed over you like a tidal wave, unexpected, and it felt so so good

“Fuck”, Cregan could feel it, “you are squeezing me darling, did you cum? You are such a good girl”, his praising only made you ride out your own orgasm for longer, moaning wantonly. You hugged his hips with yours legs, drawing him even more into you, your hands on his hips, “oh that’s it, guide me, I’m yours”, he murmured against your mouth

You didn’t want this to end.

But Cregan couldn’t hold it any longer either, he cummed with a grunt, hiding his face in your neck, hugging you tightly against him

You stayed there, regaining your breaths, holding each other.

That had been so… 

So…

“Fucking amazing”, he whispered, kissing where he had his mouth, “are you alright?”, he asked sweetly

“Cregan?”, you called

“Yes?”, he leaned back, looking down into your eyes 

“That was incredible”, you said with a wide smile , he kissed you tenderly

“I’m never letting you go”, he whispered caressing your face, “you are so perfect”

“You are the perfect one”, you whispered, with a last kiss, he sealed the night, before you got inside the sheets and slept holding each other

taglist!

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff @misspascalpunk @sweethoneyblossom1 @ipostwhtifeel @lunamoonbby @ahristata @watercolorskyy @yazzzmints @n4tforlife @littleshadow17 @alexa4040 @speedyballoonpainter @hc-geralt-23 @rayrayredpanda @eralen @yentroucnagol @valeskafics @iloveallmyboys @schadenfreude-and-sarcasm @ttkttt @aleemendoza2425-blog @drwstarkeyy @casualfansoul @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bruher @@toms-cherry-trees @happinessinthebeing

[topazadine]

How to Build a Sustainable Writing Habit Through SCIENCE (Fuck Off, NaNoWriMo)

This is a lightly edited repost from a previous post on my mostly-defunct blog, topazadine.com. I feel like it's an excellent thing to highlight now that everyone's wondering what the hell do to after NaNoWriMo showed their ass as anti-creative idiots.

I have never liked NaNoWriMo and think, frankly, that it is a garbage tool for new writers. If you've done it and enjoyed it, that's great, but overall, it is not the best way to build motivation. At all.

But why is NaNoWriMo so bad? (Other than the current controversy.)

It encourages younger writers to think of writing as something they do during the months of October through November. Not something they do all year round, day in and day out. People will prep for weeks to do a whole novel in one month and hinge all their writerly hopes on that one singular month.

We won't even get into the fact that November is the absolute shittiest month to try to get a novel done because the holidays are coming up, and many working-class people are busting their asses off to get extra hours in before Christmas.

Writing is something you do all. the. time. It is not bound by a singular month. It is not limited to a certain time of year. And when you are working to complete a draft, it doesn't matter season it is. What matters is that you get it done.

So let me show you something better. But first, why should you listen to me? And why is my method an improvement over a shitty organization's AI-riddled contest?

I wrote the first draft of my novel, Poesy (104,323 words) in 39 days.

That’s an average of 2,647 words per day. It is also about twice as much as the typical person aims for during NaNoWriMo. I did not set out to get it done in any given time period, but I still completed way, way more than NaNoWriMo would require in just about the same amount of time (plus 9 days).

I didn't have a buddy group. I didn't have checkins. I just had me and my keyboard and my secret weapon, which I'll show you in a bit.

How is it possible to get so much more done without that external motivator?

Simple: I compete with myself.

You Need to Develop Intrinsic Motivation

What in the world is intrinsic motivation?

Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separable consequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun or challenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures, or rewards. Frontiers in Neurobiotics

That is, in essence, what we do when we’re writing for fun; or, rather, it should be what we’re doing when we write for fun.

A lack of intrinsic motivation is why people who see novels as a get-rich-quick scheme tend to burn out when they realize that most writers make less than minimum wage. That's called extrinsic motivation, and it doesn't work well for things like writing, where there may not be any easily-defined goals or motivators. Most of us are not going to become rich from our writing.

Here's why extrinsic motivation is unhelpful:

Extrinsic motivation does not always work best; sometimes it can make us perform poorly at certain tasks. For instance, studies reveal that high stake rewards, like cash bonuses, can hinder cognitive capacity. This happens because they shift our focus away from the task and onto the outcome. We can become preoccupied with rewards and all the things that come with them, such as our social status, instead of just doing the work. Extrinsic rewards also tend to narrow our focus on a defined goal and reduce our ability to see other possibilities, hindering creativity. Studies find people perform worse on tasks requiring imagination and ingenuity when they are offered extrinsic rewards, such as higher pay. Nir and Far

And, well, note that "performing worse on tasks requiring imagination and ingenuity." Extrinsic motivation is literally the WORST motivator for writing specifically.

NaNoWriMo is extrinsic motivation, which is not anywhere near as powerful or sustaining as intrinsic motivation. You want to get the shiny achievement award, so you just bang out 50,000 words of slop because you want to say you did it.

You're not motivated by anything but the outcome. That does not a sustainable writing practice make.

But there’s something about intrinsic motivation I want to highlight, because it’s crucial to what I am about to show you: the challenge.

Sometimes writing is a total slog because we’re worrying about all the other things and not on the words themselves. We’re fussing about whether we will ever get published, if we’ve added enough tension in a certain part, if our mom is going to read our porn and realize what a freak they raised.

You cannot think about those things while actively writing.

Instead, you need to focus on the writing process itself. John Schinnerer, a psychologist and life coach, explains further:

Remember as you are in the process of achieving your goals that the enjoyment comes from the doing not the attaining. It is important to find contentment in the act of pursuing the goal while placing less weight on the actual fulfillment of the goal itself.  PsychCentral

So we know you need to find the challenge fun, and you need to focus on the act of putting the words on the page.

In other words, you need to make it a contest with yourself. Here’s how.

Use a Word Count Spreadsheet

Finally! We get to why I’m telling you this! It's free, it's easy, it can be done all year round.

A daily word count spreadsheet is an amazing way to stay motivated and to keep pushing yourself to write because you can literally see the wins rack up. Every day, the word count jumps significantly, which can be much more motivating than just “oh, I’m at 8,453 words.”

More importantly, you’ll start to want to beat your “high score” from the day before.

I’ve highlighted one of the cells so that you can see the simple formula that you need to set up: it’s just yesterday’s count minus today’s count.

Put that in one cell, then click and drag the bottom righthand corner of the cell, and it will populate the rest of the cells in that column with the adjusted formula (B4-B3, and so on).

This is very easy to create. All you have to do is copy-paste the wordcount from your document into your spreadsheet, make sure you have that super-simple formula, and you're done. I have severe dyscalculia and can still use it.

But you can see how much this really helped me:

Things started to really ramp up right at the end because I was getting so motivated by the word counts of the day previous. I wanted to beat yesterday’s high score and keep going.

At the beginning, I was writing maybe 1.9k words; by the end, I was an absolute demon, regularly breaking over 2.8k and then some. On the last day, when the rest of the family was in a post-Christmas hangover, my butt was glued to my chair, banging out those last few thousand words.

Psychologists and life coaches agree that self-competition, a type of intrinsic motivation, is one of the best ways to improve.

Michelle Gibbings, a workplace expert, explains:

When you compete with yourself, you don’t become fixated on what other people are doing; you set the direction and speed. You put yourself in the driver’s seat and control your progress, setting meaningful goals rather than focusing on the progress of others. Michelle Gibbings

Making a word count spreadsheet like this is the definition of setting your own speed and controlling your progress. You can decide on a threshold you always want to hit and then feel very satisfied when you go beyond that.

I set my threshold at 1.5k words every day so that I didn’t feel bummed out when I had an off day and couldn’t get a lot done, but I really wanted my average to be around 2k, so I’d periodically check how close I was to that. If I had a terrible day or was busy, then I’d want to make up for lost time and write more the next day so I kept my average.

Now, I live a life that is quite advantageous to consistent writing: I’m single, I’m childless, I work from home, and most of my hobbies are pretty low-key.

Your life doesn’t look like mine, and that’s totally okay.

There’s no need to match the speed I showed here.

What matters is that your schedule works for you, and that you are consistent.

If you’re a caretaker or have a strenuous job, then set your threshold at just 100 words and aim for an average of 500. However, you’ll be sad if your spreadsheet has a blank cell, so you’ll want to get down at least something, even if you only have 15 minutes to write.

Plus, it’s so encouraging to see the word count go up day by day: much more satisfying than just seeing it in tiny font at the bottom of a Word document or Google Doc.

Or getting some dumb t-shirt from an organization that is actively trying to murder creativity for commercial gain. (Oh, and they protected an actual pedophile from consequences for months on end while he continued to groom children. But that was last year's controversy.)

There’s another reason why this particular method works so well for writers, though.

Word Counts Banish the Urge to Edit

You know you shouldn’t, but you do it anyway. A single word here. A removed sentence there.

The first draft is just about getting everything out, not fixing everything that needs fixing. That part comes later during your five billion revisions where you tweak every single word.

Revising means you have less to work with, which means you have less development. You can get rid of anything that shouldn’t be there when you’ve gotten to that very satisfying “The End” page.

If you are motivated by the spreadsheet method, then you are screwing yourself over if you edit.

Your word count went down! It looks like you did less than you did! You’re losing! Best add more, and fast!

(I had to include my placeholder chapter names; it was obligatory.)

Use strikethrough! Now you know exactly what you’ll be getting rid of when you get to the end of your draft, but you’re not decimating your word count. I removed the entire beginning of the book; that scene is super cute, though, so I later turned it into its own one-shot on my AO3 page.

I prefer doing that because then, if you find that you actually wanted to keep that scene or move it elsewhere, all you have to do is copy-paste from the old version, remove the strikethrough, and you’re all good.

So that’s my tool. It’s really that simple.

But even though it’s so simple, it works wonders for your motivation and consistency, which are crucial for a good writer.

Are you going to give it a whirl? You may find it nervewracking at first, but I encourage you to sample this method, especially if you have a hard time getting motivated.

And if you enjoyed this article, maybe you'll consider purchasing my debut novel, 9 Years Yearning.

This is not the book I drafted last year; it is in fact a prequel of sorts to that first novel. However, it helps set the scene for Poesy (the sixth book in the Eirenic Verses) so that you'll be all prepped for the masterpiece.

9 Years Yearning is a coming of age romance that follows the life of two young soldiers as they go from sorta-enemies, to frenemies, to friends, and then finally to lovers. It is a short read; you can probably finish it in about 2 hours all the way through. Perfect for a weekend romp.

If you do read my book, please don't forget to leave a review!

Reviews are essential to success on Amazon as they boost visibility. (Yes, even bad ones.) Always leave reviews, no matter how short, to support indie authors!

[akindplace]

Hi! I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing you usually answer so no worries if not. Your blog has been a big encouragement to me over the years and I really appreciate the love and care you put into it!

I'm a chronically ill/disabled college student trying to make it through premed, and recently when I was talking in an anonymous community about a rough patch with my health and how it affected my performance in school, another premed started telling me I should just drop out until I'm better (even though i'm chronically ill), that I'm being a bad doctor to my current patients by allowing myself to do poorly, that people like me shouldn't be wasting time trying to be doctors.

i've worked so hard on my self worth but i'm already having a rough patch and it really hurt especially since i've really valued good doctors in my life. my parents and academic advisor have only been putting more pressure on me and i thought i'd reach out and see if you might have any encouragement or advice, because right now i feel like no one believes in me.

yeah honestly that person would be the one who is a bad doctor because they’re saying stuff like that to someone who is chronically ill and seems to not get the chronic part of it. I think having a chronic illness might actually add value to what you want as your career since it gives you life experience that other doctors don’t have, as you said it yourself, you know the value of a good doctor when someone needs help and you want to do your best. I don’t know if your parents are putting pressure on you out of worry for your health or wanting you to push through or maybe both, but that pressure doesn’t really help so maybe if you talk to them and set some boundaries might get them to respect the fact that it is your life ultimately and you should get to make decisions about your career and to health.

Studying to be a doctor is brutal in my country and I imagine it is a lot of work in yours too, and you should put your health above everything else but even though you are having a rough time with your health, it seems that you want to keep going, and you are the one living in your body, you are the one who knows your needs, so if you feel like doing it, do it. I imagine you’re probably on a break from school since it’s the end of the year so hopefully you don’t have to study right now and can get a lot of rest during this time and maybe do things that are fun and relaxing (like watching a movie, reading, things that don’t take too many spoons) to also ease the pressure of your illness and the pressure from other people.

Ultimately, this is your decision, and if you’re evaluating your own situation and deciding to do it, then you should do it. I know you’ll do your best, probably even more than that discouraging person who said you wouldn’t be able to be a good doctor, since you value what you do and seem to put a lot of effort, and as I said, you have life experience that they don’t. You should try it out since that’s what you want, and you’re the one living in your body with your chronic illness. I really hope you take care of yourself if you’re on a break right now and don’t take in too much of this pressure and that resting and taking it easy this time of the year helps a little with your illness so you can start your next semester feeling a little better. Maybe things will be really rough, and if they are, take a break if it’s needed, but maybe you’ll be fine, and the only way to know how things will be like it is to try, though if you feel like you can do it, then I believe you can do it because you’re the one who knows what your body is going through.

Your heart seems to be in this career and you should try it. Only you know what you go through, and I’m honestly cheering for you that things get better with your health and cheering for you with your career. I think you’ll do good things as a doctor, you seem to care a lot and to put effort in it, just remember to prioritize your health, because often a lot of doctors don’t since the job can be so demanding. I think you know what you’re doing and I am sending you my best wishes for your health, for the new year, for your next semester, and I know you’re going to do your best, just try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

[springtrappd]

the fnaf movie cast & crew on matthew lillard's performance:

OFFICIAL CHARACTER DESCRIPTION FOR STEVE RAGLAN:

A smug career counselor charged with helping Mike find a job, Steve Raglan has zero sympathy for the burdens of the unemployed. Played by horror legend Matthew Lillard, star of the original Scream, Steve seems to take a perverse pleasure in forcing a desperate person, like Mike, into a situation that’s less than ideal. It’s Steve who suggests the night guard job at Freddy’s to Mike, and who then bides his time, like a spider, until Mike reluctantly agrees to take it.

TAMMI & SCOTT IN ‘UNIVERSAL PICTURES PUBLICITY: FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S PRODUCTION INFORMATION APPROVED’:

“Matthew Lillard was terrific,” game creator and film producer Scott Cawthon says. “There was a long list of people we were looking at for this role. I was leaning toward Lillard early-on because I had great memories of seeing Scream in the theaters like twenty times with my roommates in college, but when a close friend of mine told me what a great guy he was in real life and how he took such good care of his fans at conventions, I knew he was the right person for the job. I told Matthew on the phone during our very first conversation that after the movie comes out, no one will even be able to imagine anyone else for the role, and I stand by that.” Landing the actor was a coup, says director Emma Tammi. “Getting Matthew on board was just incredible,” Tammi says. “He brought so much zaniness and electricity into the mix, and he had such attention to what Five Nights fans would want to see.”

'MATTHEW LILLARD ON "HUMBLING AND EXCITING" FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S' SUCCESS AND CREATING AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCES FOR FANS' (in The Hollywood Reporter):

CULLINS: For people who are not familiar with the game, how would you describe your character? LILLARD: I play a character that is living in plain sight in the world, and he is a horrible monster. Toward the end of the film, when my daughter can’t handle a situation, I have to step in and take over. I do not accomplish that goal and end up meeting my demise. It’s the first step in a journey that has this rich canon that spans multiple video games. I play a monster who, at the end of the day, gets his comeuppance and is thrown into this horror realm that he created. The hard part about playing this part is the pressure I put on myself to honor the fans, to deliver a great performance in an iconic role. There are millions of kids worldwide, and people that started playing as kids and are now adults, that have an expectation that this film will deliver on a really great level. So, being this iconic bad guy, the amount of pressure I put on myself to not suck is pretty extraordinary. That’s the hardest part.

TAMMI IN 'FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S FILMMAKER EMMA TAMMI TALKS THE "LOOSE ENDS" TO TACKLE IN A SEQUEL' (for The Hollywood Reporter):

DAVIDS: Before and after the reveal, I did catch some Stu Macher/Scream vibes from Matthew. I recognized that familiar live wire that he plays so well. Did you encourage that? Or did he just know instinctively that this guy warranted a bit of the same crazed energy that Stu had? TAMMI: Gosh, it feels like catching lightning in a bottle with Matthew because he just brings so much to the set and in the moment. And on that day in particular, we were just trying a bunch of different things for a bunch of different takes, and he was really coming alive in that [Yellow Rabbit] suit for the first time. Of course, we’d done some rehearsals with that suit, but it was a whole other deal once the camera was actually rolling in the properly lit pizzeria. So he was just going for it on every take and doing something different and really exploring in the moment. We just needed to make sure that we were there to capture it all. So, yes, there was definitely a back and forth between the two of us in terms of trying different things and really maximizing his menacing movement in that suit. But at the end of the day, he was just bringing all of his brilliance and improvisation to the table, and we were so lucky to be rolling on it.

LILLARD IN 'FNAF: FROM GAME TO BIG SCREEN' (DVD Bonus Content, via YouTube):

I've been really jonesing, like really coveting an opportunity to get a chance to get back into the horror genre. Getting a chance to work with Emma has been lovely. I literally, when I'm in that costume I'm blind, and so I rely on her like very few performances I've ever had in my life, to help me... sorta craft this character on the fly, physically in how we're telling the story and where we're at in the lore, and how that applies to-- y'know, all of the information that's out there and available, it all comes through her [Emma Tammi] and she fills us with what we need.

BONUS: the official guidelines for Raglan's facial hair, courtesy of Makeup Department Head Ashley Levy (via Instagram); "Also included: proof we take our facial hair design *very* seriously around here."

[b-blushes]

r.e. last couple of posts. ableism i guess?

idk how to phrase this eloquently but one can be a person who makes plans with your disabled people that they can actually join in and enjoy. and hopefully you will all have a nice time together! i've lost so many friends bc i can't keep up with 'regular' life and simply cannot attend the, like, friendship bonding stuff that a lot of people do. i can't go out in the evenings and also feel well, can't walk very far, can't travel far from home etc., can't spend time in loud places like bars or go to restaurants. really hard to be the one to say 'how about we do something I can do too!' when you can't do the the things that seem to register as fun to your friends. i guess some people will say 'well they aren't your real friends then' and while i guess that's true in some cases it doesn't always have to be. i think sometimes people just don't realise? i guess people reading this will perhaps be more likely to think about the disabled people in their lives anyway due to it's my (disabled person, as one part of who i am :P) blog. and tbh it's not something that i would imagine one would think about unless you know disabled people. but it is possible to hang out with your disabled friends in a way that they can actually be there for, and have a nice time together :P it doesn't always have to be a super ~abled~ activity, for want of a better way of putting it.

it's so nice when people meet you where you're at! we're having fun because we're together, not necessarily bc of the activity? or something! idk! season of exacerbated left out i guess :P to pick just one example, so many people are eating and drinking together and that's totally chill if you can do that, but by consequence of making this the nature of almost all hangouts, it inherently creates a scenario that i can't be there for. or have to excuse myself from very early, or arrive late too, widening the already pretty big gap between me and everyone else in the group. posts that i should be having an actual conversation with certain people about it i guess :P but i don't want to rock the boat. and also if it's all coming from me and ~all about me~ then the pressure to perform on the day is huge, which is not an ideal situation for disabled person who is at a baseline probably already feeling pretty unwell and not up to being the centre of attention. idk how to phrase it. it's like, it doesn't have to be all about me (the disabled person in your life) it could just be a natural thing. like 'let's think about all the people that are in the group and what their limitations are'. and then we all get to have a nice time together and it's not a whole thing!!!

really glad my immediate family will take some precautions and make plans with me, that exclude them from larger family celebrations bc i wouldn't be able to attend. but imagine if we could all attend bc things were set up in a way that was safe and manageable for everyone. and it didn't need to be a big miserable sacrifice that was because of me, we could just have a nice time.

again definitely partly my fault for not wanting to try to tell everyone that their entire holidays plans should change from the family traditional ways so i can also be there. but also like. i don't wanna do that. i want it to be nice for everyone, but also be there. and it's hard when 'your presence' feels at odds with 'everyone having a nice time'. BUT it's okay! i will just drop in when i can and go home to eat and then i don't have to worry. and it is truly nice! and i'm really glad that noone is upset by me barely attending anything and also arriving late or leaving early. it would just be even nicer if it was easy and not a whole thing for me to think about.

goes back to not thinking about it :P

[ninetyminutes]

i heart that blurb you did about lorne coming into work so sick the others think he's drunk! can u do a longer piece/more about him overworking himself?? and as always yes thank you for carrying the fandom

OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! Ok I definitely wrote too much so apologies, but I couldn’t help myself. Also thank you so much for the compliment it really means a lot to me!!! I really think that we’re all carrying this fandom because without yall it wouldn’t be fandom <3

Ok so we all know that everyone was putting in the work and doing long hours, but everyone was also aware that Lorne was always doing more. Like they know he was juggling a lot on his plate with all his responsibilities as the executive producer, shielding the cast and crew from the pressure from the networks, while also being involved in everything from the writing to the live performance. I can just imagine him being the first to the office and the last to leave most days, he’s just that dedicated to his work.

Lorne values his sleep. He doesn’t get up before 10 am, in fact he wouldn’t get up before noon most days. But slowly he starts staying later and later in the office and needs to come in to the office earlier and earlier, and it just totally encroaches on his sleep schedule.

I can also see him forgetting to eat a lot. It’s not intentional of course, but it’s still obviously not good for his health. We even see this in the movie when he gets the sandwich from Neil but he ends up throwing it to the side when he stepped in to break up the fight in the loading dock. He has full intentions on eating something and it’s something healthy because he’s actually health conscious (accurate to both the real Lorne Michaels and actor Gabriel LaBelle), but things come up and he gets distracted and just forgets. That’s why during meetings there’s always bowls of pretzels, popcorn, and vegetables on the tables for everyone because it’s one of the few instances where there Lorne gets time to just sit and listen. This is easily combatted by having someone eat with him. Like maybe he and Rosie are eating something while they’re editing one of the fake commercials or he’s having a long conversation with Chevy as he complains about something or the other(I interpret these as being conversations where Chevy is voicing his anxieties about the show and the shows future, like he comes across as arrogant and overbearing but Lorne knows he just needs reassurance and stuff).

But I don’t think anyone would be aware of just how bad it was until something pretty serious happens. Maybe he collapses or passes out somewhere. Or maybe Lorne starts to pull away from socializing, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he’s just too tired to host or hang out. And I really like this one because socializing is Lorne’s whole thing. Imagine everyone’s reactions when they ask if Lorne’s coming with them to dinner after work and he’s like “I think I’m just going to go home, I’m pretty tired.” Jaws would be on the floor. Lorne never says no to socializing, like his ability to talk endlessly is literally one of his defining traits, so for him to turn it down? Something is wrong.

So some of the cast and crew get together and they’re like “ok but what’s going on with Lorne??” They start to pay more attention to him and realize just how much he’s been pushing himself, maybe even seeing how much he deflates when no one is around to see. After seeing this they make it their mission to make sure Lorne isn’t overworking himself to death, like they want to make sure he’s eating and sleeping enough and also want to make sure he feels appreciated... It’s not easy work. Lorne isn’t big on accepting help from people, as someone who’s always been the one taking care of people it’s hard for him to accept care from others.

So in real life, Lorne would have people come over to his place after going out to dinner or something and they’d stay up late talking well into the night. Lorne loved it, he just loved socializing and hosting and stuff. So what if they all decided they would stop going over to his place to socialize to try and encourage him to get some sleep. Like they figured they weren’t helping by hanging out with him so much so maybe if they took the initiative and stopped he’d sleep more. But this totally backfired because suddenly it was like he’s sleeping less. What they didn’t know is that Lorne hated being alone—there was nothing worse than a quiet house in his mind (and maybe that has something to do with the trauma of losing his dad so suddenly as a kid). So maybe he stays up all night writing or starts taking scripts home with him to review to give himself something to do.

Pretty quickly the group realizes it’s not working. He starts spending more nights in the office and given how there’s showers in the dressing rooms (at least there were according to an SNL book I read), he didn’t have to go home if he kept spare clothes in his office. Besides, he’s slept on couches before and it's fact that he got first pick of all of the furniture abandoned in the studio so you know he got the most comfortable couch. I mean, why else would John Belushi nap in Lorne’s office?

Maybe one night Belushi needs a place to crash and stays at Lorne’s, like usual, and Lorne comes in to work the next day looking slightly rested. They’re confused and corner John like “what sorcery did you pull like did you fuckin drug him or smth?” And he’s just like “wtf no I’m not going to drug Lorne without his consent. I walked inside and immediately passed out on the couch.”

So they start this rotation where they try to make sure someone spends the night at his place every couple of days (or more), asking him if they could crash because of some excuse they give him. He obviously agrees because he’s Lorne and this is nothing new to him, and holy shit it kinda works.

Omg wait, imagine everyone showing up at Lorne’s doorstep for a sleepover after he’s had a really hard day. Like it was just meeting after meeting with executives and technical issues and a host drunk off their ass. And Lorne opens the door and is met with a group of people in pajamas, carrying blankets and pillows who push past him and pile into his apartment.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Omg, your singer x Tyler fic was so good! I’m not one of your regular anons, but if possible, can I request either a part two to that story, or another Singer x Twenty One Pilots fic (can be either Tyler or Josh)?

Backstage Part 2 - Tyler Joseph x Singer!Reader

Warnings: Nothing hehe

Word Count: 1264

A/N: Hope this is okay! Wasn't really sure where to take a part 2 lol

It had been months since that night—since Tyler and I had decided to take things “one step at a time.” And yet, somehow, here I was, standing backstage again, staring at my phone and grinning at a message that had just come through.

Tyler: Front row tonight, as promised. You’re gonna kill it, as always.

I couldn't help but laugh, the familiar surge of excitement building in my chest. Tyler was in town for a few days, and even though his schedule was just as hectic as mine, he had promised to make it to my show tonight. Over the last few months, we had found a rhythm that worked for us, even if it was far from conventional. A text here, a call there. A weekend visit squeezed between tour stops. It was messy and chaotic, but it worked.

As I looked at myself in the dressing room mirror, I thought about how much had changed since that first night. I wasn’t as nervous anymore—not about performing or about seeing Tyler. What had started as something new and exciting had blossomed into something deeper, something I hadn’t expected but couldn’t imagine my life without now. Tyler had become someone I could talk to, someone who understood the pressures of this life in a way few others could.

I glanced at my phone again, smiling at his words. Front row. He kept his promises.

“Y/N, we’re ready for you,” my manager called from outside the door.

I stood, taking a deep breath. Showtime. And tonight, knowing Tyler was out there, waiting to hear me sing, made it all the more thrilling.

The concert flew by in a blur of lights, music, and energy. I could feel the crowd’s excitement from the very first note, but my eyes kept drifting to that familiar face in the front row. Tyler was standing there, a smile tugging at his lips, his eyes never leaving me. Every time our gazes met, it sent a rush through me, making me sing harder, perform with even more passion.

When the final song ended and I stepped off stage, sweaty and exhilarated, I could still feel his presence like a soft hum in the back of my mind. I didn’t need to see him to know he was still there, waiting.

As I walked down the hallway toward my dressing room, I heard his voice before I saw him.

“You were amazing tonight.”

I turned to find him leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed casually, but the warmth in his eyes was anything but casual. He pushed off the wall and walked toward me, and before I could respond, he pulled me into a hug. His familiar scent filled my senses, and I melted into him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“You say that every time,” I teased, pulling back just enough to look up at him.

“That’s because it’s true every time,” he said, his smile softening.

I blushed, unable to help the grin spreading across my face. “Thanks. It helps having a great audience.”

We stood there for a moment, neither of us in a rush to move. It was in these small, stolen moments that everything else—the tours, the pressure, the chaos of our lives—faded away. It was just me and him, and nothing else mattered. We moved to the couch, tangling ourselves together as he held me close. As much as I wanted to stay wrapped up in this moment, the reality of our lives loomed over us.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” I asked, my voice quieter now, not wanting to break the peacefulness between us but knowing it was inevitable.

Tyler nodded, his expression softening. “Yeah. We’ve got a festival in a few days. I’m flying out early in the morning.”

I knew this was part of the deal—he was in a band, and I was on my own tour. Our lives didn’t exactly lend themselves to long stretches of time together. But still, every time he left, it stung a little more.

“We’ll figure it out,” Tyler said, as if reading my mind. He reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “We always do.”

I smiled, trying to push aside the ache that was slowly creeping in. “Yeah, I know we will.”

The rest of the night was quieter than usual. We went back to my hotel, ordered room service, and spent the evening curled up on the couch, watching some random movie that neither of us was really paying attention to. We talked in that lazy, comfortable way that comes when you’re with someone you feel completely at ease with. Tyler told me stories from the tour—about how Josh had accidentally broken his drum head mid-set, and about the new songs they were working on. I told him about my latest album, the one I had been working on in between shows, the one that was slowly starting to take shape.

It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning, when the sky was just starting to lighten, that we finally said goodbye. Tyler’s flight was in a few hours, and as much as I hated it, I knew he had to go.

“Don’t go,” I whined, knowing it was hopeless. I grasped onto his arm, trying to hold him back as we stood by the door. 

He smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll miss you too.”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving a familiar emptiness in his wake.

Weeks passed, and life continued its usual whirlwind pace. I threw myself into my music, pouring everything into the new album, but there was always a part of me that was waiting for the next call, the next text, the next stolen moment with Tyler. Our relationship had become a delicate balance—one that I was constantly afraid might tip too far one way or the other. But every time we managed to make it work, it felt like a small victory.

Then, one evening, as I was sitting in my hotel room after another long day in the studio, my phone rang. It was Tyler.

“Hey,” I answered, smiling automatically at the sound of his voice.

“Hey,” he said, but there was something different in his tone—something nervous.

I frowned. “Everything okay?”

There was a pause on the other end, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer. “I’ve been thinking… about us. About this.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What about it?”

“I don’t want to keep doing this halfway,” he admitted, his words coming out in a rush. “I don’t want to keep feeling like we’re always just squeezing in time whenever we can. I know our lives are insane, but… I want more.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and hopeful all at once. And as much as I had been trying to avoid it, I realized that I wanted more too. I wanted something real, something solid. Something that wasn’t always just waiting for the next show to end or the next flight to land.

“I want that too,” I said softly. “But how do we do that with everything going on?”

“I don’t know yet,” Tyler admitted. “But I think we can figure it out. Together.”

For the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of certainty settle over me. We didn’t have all the answers, but maybe that was okay. Maybe all we needed was the willingness to try.

“Together,” I echoed, feeling a smile tug at my lips.

One step at a time.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[bi-bard]

The Show - Graham Dunne Imagine [Daisy Jones & the Six]

Title: The Show

Pairing: Graham Dunne X Reader

Word Count: 1,155 words

Warning(s): none

Summary: (Y/n) goes to Graham's gig and writes a review that will change everything.

Author's Note: I am sorry for how long this took. Shit's getting crazy on my end.

PART ONE [Flirting] HERE

PART TWO [Breakfast] HERE!

--------------------------

Walking into Filthy McNasty's was interesting.

I hadn't found myself in a venue like that in a while now. I had missed it. There was a lot less pressure when looking at smaller places like this.

I was pointed to a table with a folded nametag on the table. I chuckled at the way my name had been scribbled onto it. I dropped myself down in the booth, pocketing the paper.

There were a few minutes of calmness before a girl stood next to my table. I looked up at her.

"Hi, sorry," she said. "I just... I like taking photos for the band. Mind if I sit here and try to get some shots?"

I motioned over to the other side of the booth. "Be my guest."

"I'm Camila," she introduced herself.

"(Y/n)," I replied, opening my small journal to take some notes.

"Oh..."

I looked back at her to see her looking at me with a somewhat stunned expression. I chuckled a bit.

"I hope that look is a good reaction," I joked.

She slowly nodded. "Yeah... Yeah, of course. Graham... Graham mentioned you."

"I see... All good things?"

"Oh, absolutely, he wouldn't shut up about you," she promised before quickly backtracking. "Not that he was being creepy about it. He just thinks that you're really amazing. He really admires you."

I chuckled again; I had hints that it was a little bit more than admiration. "It's alright, Camila. I promise. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," she seemed to relax.

"How do you know them?"

"I... Billy and I have been together for a while."

"The lead singer?"

"Yeah."

"You... followed them out here?"

She nodded.

"You really believe in them."

"With everything I have."

My heart felt like it swelled a bit at the sentiment. It was cute to see.

"I hope you like the show."

I leaned back a little further into my seat. "So do I."

The show started a few moments later.

Billy was a natural lead singer. I don't mean that he just sounded good - he did- but I meant that he acted like it was his place. His calling. His energy took up twice as much room as his physical form. He clearly loved the attention... I silently hoped that he loved the music as much as he loved the attention.

I did everything in my power to split the rest of my attention equally between the band's different members and the crowd.

It was difficult. Graham had become such a distraction to me that I had trouble pulling my attention away from him. He seemed to notice me at some point, a grin pulling a little bit further on his lips. That was when I had to pretend to look down and take notes.

I hated feeling like this. I had spent so long thinking about the kiss that almost was that I couldn't even look at him without imagining what could have happened if I had let his lips touch mine.

I did everything in my power to focus on the performance itself.

And I did a pretty good job after a while.

It wasn't until I sat down to work on the actual review.

That's when I realized that Graham had been such a major distraction. I couldn't tell if it was annoying or if I was... comfortable. It was nice to have something... someone to think about that wasn't merely for my work.

It took ages to get the review done.

But once it was done, it was a piece of art.

I had always been careful with my work, but I hadn't been so meticulous in years. I could only hope that it did what I needed it to.

It would be a few days before I got a call from Graham Dunne again.

It was brief. I don't think I let him speak. I just told him to meet me where we met before.

He was waiting there when I showed up. I saw his eyes light up a bit when he spotted me. That made me nervous. When was the last time someone truly seemed that excited about seeing me?

I took a deep breath as I walked over.

"Hi," he said, standing up from the table.

"Hi," I replied, grinning at him. "You saw the review."

"I did," he nodded. "You really think we're that good?"

"I probably wouldn't meet you if I lied about it."

He stammered for a moment. "Y-You make a good point there."

I chuckled.

Our breakfast had an air hanging over it. A cloud of knowing and anticipation. It was strange for me. Both comforting and nerve-wracking.

But Graham had told me the truth.

He waited.

He waited to make any kind of move until we were back in that parking lot again, standing next to my car.

There had been a pause between us before he spoke up, "The review is out..."

"It is..."

He stepped forward, grinning a little more as his eyes jumped around to every part of my face. I took a deep breath, feeling the nervousness that had been in my stomach all day coming back in stronger waves.

When he went to lean in and close the remaining distance, I felt myself truly panic for the first time in years. I leaned back just a bit. Graham's eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

"You do this... I can't review anything else that your band does," I said. "You understand that, right?"

"I think we'll be fine," he replied. "Said it yourself, didn't you? We're a pretty talented group."

I chuckled. "I guess I did."

He grinned a little wider before leaning forward again. He pressed his lips to mine, moving to cup the sides of my face as he did so. I touched his arms as I kissed him back.

It was at this moment that everything seemed to fall into place.

I had spent a long time refusing to entertain things like this. I had been so focused on music and my career that I had stopped entertaining anything that I had truly wanted.

But this.

I wanted this.

I wanted to entertain this.

I leaned back first, grinning at him.

"That was nice," I mumbled to him.

"Yeah, it was," he replied.

I stepped away from him.

"What now?" he called as I made it to my car. "I... I just keep calling your office so I can take you to breakfast?"

I chuckled. "I'll be at your next show. We can talk more then."

He didn't respond.

"I'll see you then, Graham."

If he spoke up as I got in my car, then I didn't hear him. I would have listened a little closer if I hadn't been so focused on how fast my heart was still beating after that kiss.

I bit my lip.

What a strange and brilliant couple of days.

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