#me posting elsie stuff when i said i wasn't going to do it

[datshitrandom]

Darren Criss performs on stage at the 7th Annual Elsie Fest Broadway's Music Festival | September 8, 2024 | 🎥 via Nicole Testa

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Rewrite line

Thanks to @mk-writes-stuff here and @splashinkling here, and @somethingclevermahogony here.

Rules: rewrite your given line and post the new one!

Optional variant: it's your last line

MK's line:

For once, she wasn’t even thinking about them. She had a plan. She was going to make this work, and everything was going to go perfectly. She was going to get her magic back with Cassiopeia’s help, her parents would name her the heir, and everything would be absolutely fine.

The tense feeling in her chest would just have to be quiet.

My rewrite:

For what seemed like the first time in her life, she wasn't thinking about them. Instead, that newly-free space in her mind was formulating a plan.

She was going to make this work. Everything was going to work out perfectly.

She was going to get her magic back. She would get Cassiopeia's help to do so. Her parents will name her heir.

Everything would be fine. Perfect. The tense feeling in her chest would go away.

Ink's line:

Rylise rushed out of the castle. At ground-level, everyone scattered in fear, shouting, shoving, and attempting to carry as many of their belongings with them as they could. Some even scrounged up things that were left behind by others. Above, he finally saw what had been attacking them—a mix of physical cannonballs and magical fire-rain that set ablaze anything not made of stone or gem.

My rewrite:

As fast as he could, Rylise burst out of the castle, pausing when he reached the ground level, unexpectedly being greeted by a chaotic scene. Scattering all over his field of vision, everyone attempted to carry their belongings--shouting at others to move, shoving when they didn't, scrounging up things left behind in the mayhem.

Rylise looked up, and his eyes landed on their attacker. The sky was littered in magical fire-rain and physical cannonballs. And everything not made of stone or gem was in flames.

C's line:

Akard smiled to himself as he watched the seer descend into the earth, “Not at all, I don’t think I’ll be going back to Apuna, for quite some time.” Bazus chuckled, “That’s good, you’ll get to enjoy all the hospitality of my father’s city, come let's go talk to your seer!” 

As Hutbari’s eldest strolled confidently onward Akard muttered under his breath. “I assure you I will be enjoying far more than just father’s hospitality.”

My rewrite:

As the seer descended to earth, Akard found himself smiling. "Not at all," he said. "In fact, I don't believe I'll be going back to Apuna for...oh, quite some time, actually."

Bazus chuckled as he copied Akard's smile. "In that case, you may enjoy my father's city."

"I thank his hospitality," said Akard.

"Come," Bazus said, gesturing forward, "let's go talk to that seer of yours."

Akard felt his smile fade as Bazus strutted onward. As he followed, Akard muttered to himself, "I bet your father's city and hospitality won't be the only thing I enjoy."

Honestly don't remember the last line I edited, so here's the last line from TSP Part Two:

“How’re you and Niri? I accidentally found out you texted him.” “We’re fine.” Hannah smiled a bit. “Is that a hint of red on your cheeks?” I asked. “Now, don’t you start,” Hannah said, pointing harshly. “I had to deal with Charlie and Amanda grilling me about the boy I was texting in your absence.” I smiled. “I’ll come save you.” “Thank you.” Hannah swung the door open and we went back into the crowded family room. I tried to ignore the devices pulling me back.

The devices are telepathic probes if y'all want to be more specific. Hannah and Ash are also sisters.

Okay tagging @elsie-writes @theprissythumbelina @writeouswriter @sarahlizziewrites @winterandwords @sarandipitywrites @dyrewrites @i-can-even-burn-salad @cwritesfiction @drchenquill + ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites