#me playing bloodborne for the first time 2 years ago

[tlgtw]

Aside fromsoft, are there any fantasy game settings/stories you're into?

Like what was the first game that pulled you in and before you realized you were checking dialogue for inconsistencies?

Zoooooomg, I *wish* had any other answer for this but the first game that "pulled me in" indeed WAS a Fromsoft game; and it was Bloodborne.

This came around a few months after it came out, (Meaning I was 14.) and I'd wanted Bloodborne the whole time because of how wicked fucking awesome it looked. (even if perhaps I was a little too young for it.)

I can't remember how, but by some means or another leading up to or concurrently with Bloodborne's initial release I got into all the "Loretubers" from that time, as they're known now.

VaatiVidya of course--most likely he was the first person I ended up watching, but also the other ones. Like the one who wrote that big book about it basically called like "The Paleblood Hunt" or something, and a few others!

The most significant of which I can tell you for a fact was the 'late' Jerks Sans Frontieres.

Her videos shot straight into my spinal cord because she wasn't a summarizer. She, in a similar sense that I am now, was a detective.

At that point I was still purely an audience-member for that latent genre of YouTube videos. As the consumer I enjoyed all of them, but I liked her's best. And I must've rewatched each of her Bloodborne videos at least a half-dozen times before I finally got my hands on the game myself--for my 15th birthday--and I got *so* scared by my experience in Central Yharnam that I think it took me days to pick up the controller again the second time.

I legitimately considered returning it! It was my first FromSoft game. I'd never played something that just, say, *didn't* have background music all the time, for example. I remember it still, clear as day, how unnerving it was just walking around the early areas hearing just your footsteps and the background rumble and when I was unlucky the screaming sounds of the crows and other enemies.

Precisely, when I first came up that ladder to the Central Yharnam checkpoint, when I heard the scream of the Cleric Beast, it scared me out of my wits so goddamn hard that I stopped moving for like 15 seconds.

I was still *just* turned 15, but at that point I had watched all of Bloodborne over and over again like 80 times. I'd watched tutorials and build guides and cheese strats and weapon movesets and everything else I could about that game, before I finally got my hands on it. I thought I would be, at least, ultimately okay. Cause I would still know everything I'd have to do.

I was wrong.

But I did get through it, hahaha.

In-fact I ended up getting through it so hard that by the time I got my hands on the actual DLC, my main save file was in NG++. So the first time I beat The Old Hunters was in NG++.

Fortunately I was very grinded-up so I think ultimately the experience balanced out.

And nowadays I've beaten Bloodborne so many times that I have the entire level of Central Yharnam actually memorized. Until a few years ago could've draw an accurate map of it from memory (and I have).

With Bloodborne being my introduction, as it were, to the concept of Videogame Story Explained Videos, it was also my introduction to the concept of seriously reading a videogame's story in the first place.

What this wasn't, yet, was me actually going in *myself* to actually cross-reference item descriptions and dialogue, for my *own* understanding. You don't do that sorta thing unless you're specifically involved in discussion. And I was involved in *no* discussions in 2015, or 2016, or '17 or '18 or '19 or anything all the way up to until 2022, because online I have the tendencies of a weird hermit.

Although that is me exaggerating. In truth prior to my dealings with Elden Ring I had been a Redditor and I talked (argued) about the story details of Little Nightmares 1 and 2 (My favourite games.) on the subreddit for those games. By then I had already become the kind of person I am still now, most of all in my disinterest in finding any answers regarding a fictional story that can't account for every extant element... of that story. (As you've seen, and will see more of in Episode X of ERwSET. When an idea I have appears to conflict with work in subject, I drop the idea. And develop one that doesn't conflict with it instead. This is opposed to the alternative of making up reasons or justification to keep the initial idea regardless)

No doubt doing that instead would probably make me a lot more content to make money with... Personally, doing so isn't engaging to me, because I am already someone who writes fiction. And in my opinion, "Videogame Story Explained Videos" are fundamentally a non-fiction genre of video, and for me are more interesting in general when they conform to that, because they interface directly with the media itself, and the material that media's author's put into it. Rather than just the individual video creator's personal experience of that media, of that material.

In part this comes from my background as someone who writes poetry and fiction. Of course.

*Of course,* an author who writes and puts meanings into material themselves, finds themselves more interested dissecting the material and creative decisions of *other authors,* who do the same thing, as opposed to the material and creative decisions of just *other readers.* Who most of them don't--generally maintaining more humane professions and areas of expertise instead.

And probably this is rooted into my tendencies as a 'weird hermit,' too. But, from my perspective, if I wanted to see what a fellow member of the audience thinks are the inner working of this character or imagines regarding the off-screen elements of a story, I would read their fanfiction.

...

...

That is of course reductive, but I think saying it like that is really funny, so that's why I'll be still saying it xd.

"Everyone consumes, but not everyone makes," you could say. The same way there are less farmers than people in the world. There are less writers than readers in the world. When I analyze a work of fiction, underneath it all what I'm looking for is to see what decisions the authors made, for *their final product:* "What does that do?" "What does this do?" "If it was different, what would that make?" "What does this matter? Does it?"

"Would I do this too?"

And this interest excludes the question of 'why,' predominantly. I'm not interested so much in wanting to know 'why,' because the only way to learn that is if the author themselves actually decides to share "why." I'm interested just in what the final decisions "are."

"Why'd the author decide to make this character do this?" Well, maybe they were really hungry that day. Or maybe they saw an ad on TV. Or maybe they were talking to their friend about something unrelated and their friend happened to say a phrase in a peculiar and cool way and the author decided he wanted to make use of that, too. And everything else that encompasses the spectrum of the human experience.

"Why" is whatever it wants, it's not like it would change what the final product "is," right?

And of course this doesn't preclude the fact that author's can just *lie* about their motivations too. For that reason, actually trying to find out 'why' is generally an impossible task.

And I'm not interested in pursuing those/I'm not interested in not #winning.

Perhaps this, you could say, then, is the ultimate source of my attitude. Not in the way that it's why I actually decided to write and draw and voice and edit my 80% Elden Ring lore series and 15% weird cartoon; "Elden Ring Explained with Snake-Eyes Teieruji." I did all those for completely circumstantial reasons! (And I go into detail about them in Issue #0 of the Kinda-Monthly Newsletter.)

Nor even in how my show is... the way it is! 'Cause even that is just me being really really slow and meticulous, (as you've no doubt suffered) and anyone can act like that~!

But it is, perhaps, what made me come up with the idea of making such a show as ERwSET, at all, in the first place. (And you can also read about the *second* major exclusion in my recounting here from that same article in Newsletter #0, which was the Sekiro-related project for which Snake-Eyes Teieruji was actually created, that didn't end up going anywhere.)

You'd have be a pretty specific kind of chucklehead to actually think of doing, specifically all this; y'know?

But you may be surprised to learn that I'm normally not like this at all, when I play videogames. Most of my creative energy in such regards are channeled into my poetry, art, and fiction. When I eat games, or movies, or books or TV, I don't really feel a want to find out "exactly what the author did for this character" or "exactly what elements of this scene connect with another scene" because I guess, perhaps, I'm too occupied with enjoying myself...

Hm.

Well, maybe it'll be more accurate to say that what I'm presenting, "of myself" in ERwSET, is effectively extremely extremely scripted and deliberate.

I spend months writing my scripts. (sorry about that.) And those months include the meticulous cross-referencing and fact-checking that gives those videos their noticeable pow.

It's a large amount of *work,* that that is. The desk-jockeying kind. And it's not something that can just do itself when you're relaxing playing any game normally. (I'll never just stop what I'm doing while playing a game to fact-check whether I'm currently right about something, while I'm still in the middle of playing it.

For example in my first playthrough of Elden Ring: I wasn't actually sure how Marika's name was spelled until I had finished my first playthrough. That I wasn't sure if it was "Marika" or "Merika" at the time just legitimately didn't concern to me. I just didn't pay that close of attention whenever I passed a Church of Marika or whatever to actually remember how it spelled her name, afterwards.

I actually kept a journal to keep track of all of my sidequests and stuff for my first playthrough, too! So maybe here's another example, haha:

And here's one more dfbjkskjdbfbkjsdkjbfsjdsf. These are all things I actually wrote down in the middle of playing the game so reading these myself is really fucked up I just remember what I was doing when I wrote them:

What I'm referring to as 'the fucking castle' there is actually what I thought the Siofra Aquaduct was, the first time I saw it, hahaha. I was even a little bummed out when I actually got to it, I'll admit. I thought it was gonna be an entire dungeon.)

In any case;

The experience of *creating* something, and the experience of *consuming* something, are just fundamentally incomparable things.

You could never figure out how houses are built by just living in one, even if you lived in one for a really long time. Right?

It's that very sort of thing; in terms of cross-referencing dialogue and noting game-wide consistencies and inconsistencies for discrepancies and explanations, no playing a game inspired me do that, or could. It was my becoming an author of fiction that inspired me to do that, and my burgeoning desire to understand the decisions *other authors* made, for *their* fiction.

"I wanna know how to do that too." Right?

Eventually this desire lead to me writing poems instead.

Which lead to me (once I finally became good enough at writing to realize--as related in that poem I flashed from highschool in ERwSET1) disavowing the written word entirely! TOO limited for me, I though...!

Pictures have WAY more pow than words!!!

And that's how I got into drawing...

(which are like *way* more powerful than words, right, like it's not even comparable, the only thing words are up-to-down unbeatable at is, indeed, non-fiction... but also in being a trillion times faster than everything else to actually work with. I have returned to the written word, since then, as you might tell. And I'll tell you that writing also has one advantage that no other skill on Earth has--and that's you can practice it using only your head. Every other skill needs equipment, lit only needs words.)

...which is lead me to my foray *now;* the likes of 2-dimensional medias like video! (visual + audio)

:DDD

But that's maybe not the kind of question you were actually asking, either... so...

Y'know... maybe it actually *is* Elden Ring, that's what 'pulled me in'.

I'm pretty far-in-deep right now in this, aren't I? And I've certainly never been this deep in something before!

How... did I get here...!?

I talk all about this in Issue 0 of the Newsletter as well but it's because of how Elden Ring served to combined FromSoftware's skills in atmosphere, the acting of the characters, visuals + audio, and gameplay, with George RR Martin's skills in actually have a coherent plot to present with those elements.

I've stated so before so I'll say so again that earlier FromSoft games such as Bloodborne and (especially) Dark Souls 3 are, to *a* meaningful extent, "not worth" looking into closely from a narrative perspective. In the way that their stories were never purposely finished.

The Soulsborne games have the reputation of having stories that are predominantly based on vibes, and that's not by accident. They are based on vibes.

Gameplay, atmosphere, acting, etc. Those are things that dictate the vibes. But they're not precise. You can't find the definitive answer to a character motivation in their boss theme, that's music.

*Power,* of course, they have in spades, but obviously not any 'precision.'

As we know, Bloodborne had a lot of cut content. And Dark Souls 3.

And as a result of the same internal situations (i.e. real life reasons like time, budget, and workforce) that lead to all that content being cut, a number of the questions you would ask regarding the plot details in those games, literally do not have answers *in* those games.

The stories of Bloodborne and Dark Souls 3 are ambiguous. But not in the way that there are multiple answers: In the way that there are *no* answers.

Again, that isn't by accident. The games themselves are obviously, literally, finished products. It was deliberate decisions made during production to *remove* material communicating parts of the story, for variable reasons, from what would become the finished product.

Thus, leading to parts of "the story" being, for the reader; missing.

Most people will frame this as equivalent to "the audience deciding what the truth is." And I think this is completely inaccurate.

"The audience can choose what the truth is" is when there would be multiple possible answers. (Little Nightmares 1 and 2 are my favourite games.)

"The audience can *never* know what the truth is" is when there are no possible answers.

And in my opinion they are completely different narrative outcomes. They shouldn't be equated.

...

...not acknowledging, of course, the *massive* amount of subjective legwork the word 'possible' is doing there, with those vibes-based definitions:

"Possible" as in, coherent with what is (percieved to be) in the text... by the reader?

Or "possible" as in, literally possible to be imagined by someone... such as the reader, whoever that happens to be?

The topic is only more complex from there. (All into academia and shit tho I wouldn't know I'm an art school dropout.)

And... almost definitely that's also not what you asked, either...

Hm...

Well, I ask that you forgive me.

As for *why* Elden Ring was special to me, circumstantially, such that it lead to my actually making ERwSET, the explanation for that will remain in Issue 0 of the Members-Only Kinda-Monthly Newsletter.

As to *what* lead to me becoming this way, as you see before you? (Insane.) I hope I was able to answer it.

As for RECOMMENDATIONS, for games in general, that inspire ME, personally!?!?!? (Specifically, in the way that they inspired me to think about the setting and wonder about how things in there connect. These listing might look random but I'm positive they're exactly what you might mean in you including, specifically, what "settings" I'm into. Albeit, you are getting this from a poet. So... there is that as well. I hope if you end up looking into any of these that you do end up pleased with the experience.)

Hohokum (2014), for PS4 and PC

GRIS (2018), for basically everything

Bloodborne (2015), but note it standing directly *on* Elden Ring

Minute of Islands (2021) for PC and consoles

The surrealist artbook "Codex Serafinianus" by Italian artist Luigi Serafini (originally published in 1981, but still added to by him occasionally with an updated 40th anniversary edition having been released in 2021.)

Gorogoa (2017), for basically everything again

Child of Light (2014), also, for basically everything, somehow

Flower (2009), available on PC (and I really cannot overstate how important 'Flower' is to me, I didn't even know games could *be* like that, before I played this)

And of course, my all-time favourite book "The Vine That Ate the South" by the band The Legendary Shack Shakers's basically only actual member, JD Wilkes. (A book that has all-but baked itself into my genome since I first read it in highschool, and the additional 29 times I've read it since. 'Cause I have been counting. I voraciously recommend the Audible-licensed Recorded Books and RB Digital audiobook version; the narrator T. Ryder Smith's voice is a trillion bucks for that book.)

And y'know what I think I'm wanting to mirror this answer directly into the Kinda-Monthly Newsletter itself. Not all my readers follow me on Tumblr, even fewer'll be online at the right time as to actually *see* this post this before it's buried under everything else I'll post afterwards, and I've just spent the last few hours enjoying the hell out of myself writing all 3100 words of it, gyahahahhahaha!!

So, for those who aren't reading this!

Look forward towards seeing it the first time, in Issue #1 of the T-L-G-T-W Official Fanclub Members-Only Kinda-Monthly Newsletter. (The Issue that'll be available for free.)

My reader, I also hope you don't mind your ask ending up inspiring me to do this. But you might be the first of more, too.

So for now, going forward for any questions and answers such as these asked to me (even anonymously) on Tumblr blog, that activate me like this one has; *they* might just end up in the *next* Issue of the Newsletter, too...!

I can't say for certain I'll announce every that do, ahead of time.

But, maybe... you'll just be able to just... tell. Somehow.

Hm

[bihansthot]

My little ham is being extremely cuddly tonight and I am very here for it, I was very sad earlier because I can’t remember what Jäger smells like anymore. I find myself smelling Denny often hoping I won’t forget him too. For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about Jäger’s final moments lately which prompts trying to remember what he smelled like, what he felt like and I just can’t remember, all of those memories are wrapped up and laced with so much sadness and trauma I just can’t separate them. I don’t know what’s bringing these feelings back up lately, maybe because I haven’t been feeling well and have been unhappy because I feel unwell. I need a nice distraction and neither of the guys I’ve been seeing are providing it. Maybe I need a hobby? Writing seems too constricting lately and not fun. I’ve been thinking about crocheting again but a) I have to learn again which no biggie YouTube taught me when my niece was born 15 years ago, it can teach me again, b) I have no clue what to make? I’d make something for Denny but he has so many clothes lol I guess he can always use more? Maybe cute hats like Good Boy Ollie has? Denny deserves all the cute clothes and hats, he’s such a good baby. I don’t deserve him.

In non depressing dog stuff I made some video game resolutions for the year that I’m not sure I’ll accomplish. If you’ve followed me for a very long time you know I also love Soulsborne games, I’ve beaten DS3 and Elden Ring but my resolution is to beat the DLC for DS3, I want to beat Malenia and Placidusax in Elden Ring and finally play Bloodborne. I’ve never played Bloodborne despite absolutely loving it. The problem is I haven’t touched DS3 since I beat it so I can’t remember how to play it and Elden Ring I’m reasonably confident I can beat Placidusax but Malenia woof waterfowl dance am I right? THB I had enough health to tank most of it if I could avoid at least one but it’s her stage two form scarlet rot dive bomb that killed me. Admittedly I’ve only tried Malenia 2 or 3 times, my partner got Let Me Solo Her themselves to beat Malenia for them. I don’t know where to start though, I have to restart them all from the beginning because I’m on PS5 now, I guess I should go in order? So Bloodborne first? I’m so scared though everything is so fast 😭 I’m a big dumb, clunky over level and use the biggest axe in the game type player and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up. I don’t know if I can do the DLC I don’t know if I can beat Lady Maria or the Orphan of Kos but I guess I’ll try. Wish me luck y’all, I’m not embarking back into Soulsborne until I 100% Season of the Cryomancer though and of course this will have no bearing on my MK lust/content or anything, I don’t really have Soulsborne husbandos/waifus though I guess there’s boy Anri and Vicar Amelia (yes I’m a monster fucker, deal with it) oh oh and my precious stingray boyfriend Lorian, I don’t write for any of them or self ship with any of them so there will still be lots of dumb egg jokes. Don’t worry I’m in no way taking a break from MK I’m just indulging in another franchise I love deeply too, multitasking. So I guess just a heads up that there may be an influx of rage posts about Soulsborne bosses lol Or me professing my endless love for Greirat and Boc lol Will I ever go back to Baldur’s Gate 3?? Who knows! Probably not tbh I don’t like anyone other than Gribbo and Scratch not to mention I’ve seen my partner put just hours into it. I’ve seen the game and maybe I’m just bad at it but it’s just not fun for me which is why I’m going back to Soulsborne games lol I’ll tag my posts with “Soulsborne” if you don’t wanna see my rambling about the games though but like I said I promise I will still be all MK all the time after all it’s my true love ❤️

This has been a pointless Sol rambles, thanks for reading 🩵

[asleepinawell]

hot off the triumph of my ng+ run of dark souls 1, i decided to finally go back to try and beat ringed city which i rage quit 2 years ago (read more because i rambled a bit) (obligatory note that this is all just my opinion, other people get different things out of the game and that's fine, etc)

i didn't quit over a boss fight, but over that stretch between the inner wall bonfire and the swamp where the devs were like okay turtle clerics, ringed knights, SIX harald knights on the stairs backed up by ranged, and then a goddamn swamp in a level that should have been a cool ruined city. and all of the hard damage sponge enemies respawn. so if you die you have to go through a ton of very slow hard fights again and it's tedious

this time i looked up where the bonfire was and just made a run for it. and then after trying the next part did the same thing again. it is just frustrating. i can't play for more than twenty minutes at a time without having to turn it off and find something actually fun to do

the whole time I've been thinking about what makes a soulsborne level actually good. i've never thought it was difficulty (and would argue that being known as "so so hard" becoming the core aspect of soulsborne has been the worst thing to happen to the series)

for me, the best levels depend on patience and observation, not extremely hard enemies spawning out of nowhere. the sign of a good level is that when you finish it, when you're out of the thick of it, you think "hey that was cool and i wouldn't mind doing it again someday". and you think that regardless of any annoyance or difficulty you had along the way

when you finish an area and just think "i never want to go through that again" then something went wrong

i think about tower of latria, anor londo, darkroot garden, tomb of giants, central yarhnam, and even the valley of defilement and yeah some of those were grueling but god were they cool and i will go back to them someday. ringed city makes me think i'd rather go mop my kitchen (which i did so i guess something good came of it)

similar feeling about boss fights. artorias and manus were challenging but i ended both fights being like fuck yeah i did it! and the fights looked and felt really cool. i felt like i was fighting a duel rather than waiting for the boss to stop ping-ponging off the walls shitting status effects so i could get in one hit

the first boss fight in ringed city (I'm up to the second one now but haven't done it yet) i was like oh good now i never have to do that again (i don't even remember it very well, just that i didn't enjoy it). i actually prefer easy fights that have neat atmosphere (moonlight butterfly) to harder ones that leave me frustrated and think the best ones combine elements of challenge and atmosphere

(artorias' primal screams still get me every time, the deceptive speed he can move with despite lurching around, his dead arm dangling, the trail of abyss corruption, the way i remembered all his attacks years later...god that fight was good)

anyway i love the series a ton and I'll just end with the fact i have beaten demon's souls about 5 times (3 ng+ iterations included), and dark souls 1 about the same number of times. i've been through bloodborne twice and am almost through a third time. elden ring i beat twice and it's kind of a mixed bag. and then there's ds3 which i beat once and have 5 new characters i never got far on (i did like it but felt no desire to replay). i don't think i ever touched ds2 again after beating it. to me that says a lot

[silenthillmutual]

3 & 18 for Alfred the Executioner, 24 & 25 for Artemy Burakh, and 10 & 48 for Heather Mason!

alfred<3

3. What first drew you to this character?

this is such a fun question for me because i've been asked this once or twice. i genuinely have no idea! i started playing bloodborne in like. uhm. 2022, i think? and i'd gotten far enough in the game to meet him. but i generally didn't think a whole lot about bloodborne at the time because so much else was going on in my life. i couldn't even tell you when or why my brain decided to fixate on bloodborne, much less on alfred. i just kind of woke up one day and my brain was like "yes alfred my best friend alfred!"

if i'm going to hazard a guess, i'd say it's because he's fucking crazy. i love it when a guy (or gal tbh) is covered in blood and laughing like a maniac. i am also admittedly quite fond of the voice acting. i wish all the characters in bloodborne got more screentime, but at the same time i think everyone does a great job with what they're given. the absolute snide turn in his voice when you give him the cainhurst summons is just so good.

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

SUFFER, BLONDE BOY!

i have a whole thing planned out of how i'll get him to interact w my oc and all but the peace lasts for... i don't know. a couple hours? maybe? the rest of it he is suffering. his natural state. even when i take him out and dust him off and put in him pathologic he is suffering. but that's bc i see him as someone who hasn't quite figured out yet that you're not meant to hinge your entire existence on a singular thing: a person, a goal, a label, an ideal. i don't know how to better explain it other than that i think he's got many things wrong with him and can't/won't look inward, but that's not something anyone else can make him do, so it doesn't particularly matter where he is. he's going to continue to suffer.

artemy<3

24. Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

i have had dreams about artemy in the past but i cannot for the life of me remember what happened in them! my dreams typically aren't all that memorable unless they're really, really bad. i haven't had one with him in it recently, though i think the first time i had artemy show up in a dream, i was daniil.

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not?

i went through a period where i was trying to read absolutely every pathologic fanfic. i got caught up a couple years ago, and then life caught up with me and i haven't really gotten back to the mines in that sense. now i tend to prioritize what my friends write before reading anything else... but i do like to read gen fic about artemy that focuses on him actually struggling with the outcome of the game. and i feel like this is sort of a rare thing to find. i'd be happy with reading a burakhovsky fic like this if, you know, more of them existed? because so many fics make it The Dankovsky Show. and i get that daniil is a very interesting and important character, but so is artemy! people tend to write artemy as being endlessly understanding and kind, and artemy (in patho 2 at least) is relatively quick to forgive people who have wronged him, it just doesn't sit right with me that people make him a doormat. so i do still read fics where artemy is present, but i don't... go looking for them necessarily, because it doesn't feel like a lot of people treat him very fairly. he gets a better deal than clara, granted, but not by much.

heather<3

10. Do you see yourself in this character even without projecting?

hmmm... i think i probably saw myself in aspects of heather back when i was playing the game at like, 18 or 19 years old, but i think that was more with the heather we're presented in shattered memories, who is deeply hurt and grieving something she never got to have. it was something i could relate to, and the heather of silent hill 3 had something i never did, in having a loving father. i think i probably identified witht he rage she feels in the game, and the fear (since i was peak unmedicated for ocd, which itself is like being in a neverending hell) - but that was probably more of a 'heather lend me your strength' kind of way than in actually being able to see myself in her. though i did cosplay her!

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

i've always absolutely loved her outfit. i used to closet cosplay her all the time - my mother would never have let me bleach my hair, but i had the vest & the skirt & the boots. i actually always loved boots like that, though i don't have them anymore. i'm actually coming back around in the questions here - now that i'm older & harrier & fatter & vaguely more masculine, my cosplay lineup is looking more like travis grady (from silent hill: origins) and alfred.

honest fave character asks~

[fantomette22]

Speaking of the holy blood - do not forget that the description of Sedatives outright states that THIS was 'the germ that resulted into blood healing', so I think it should be elaborated in the story of how exactly Laurence got hooked onto blood's healing properties. Apparently it being able to treat Frenzy was fascinating - and they NEEDED to treat Frenzy because initially Byrgenwerth worked with shit like runes, eyes, arcane. Frenzy is presumably connected with the hunt since it turns your blood into spears, so of course blood-based medicine (that Sedatives ARE) calms the 'thirst for blood'.

Okay, but enough 'well aktuali's, here is what I actually wanted to ask: do you have a take on why/how Yamamura, Gratia and a Yahar'gul Hunter (he is not Antal btw!) got into underground cell? Like, what they had to do to earn the place in the jail for people that knew too much? I always found it ironic because Yamamura reads church hunters' prayer and School of Mensis IS echelon of Healing Church :/

Oh you read this I see. So the sedatives description (in English at least) :

That's a good point I didn't think about it or I forgot it! There's hundred of things to think off all the time while imagining a coherent world and stories in Bloodborne world ahhhh I tried really hard to put every bit of Loren my things but damned I would need severals brain/years for smt almost perfect XD So yes people got mad because to the chalice dungeon and because of the arcane & insights (Gatekeeper, Willem, Dores, Madman & escort etc they became mad) so if knowledge made people become mad/cause frenzy, in order to gain more knowledge and insight you need blood healing and sedatives ! Plus I hc Gehrman & Maria took sedatives after the Hamlet too :/ and after... after Maria passed away..

Ok now the real question ! About the hunters in the cells after Ludwig in the nightmare! I actually never thought deeply about it 😐...

When I first play the game I assumed that Yamamura was just mad so they locked him up, for the Yahar'gul hunter maybe he spy on the church/attack someone or smt. For Gratia idk she seems the opposed of violent here. She feel completely broken, praying on the ground and curling in a corner... I imagine she could easily broke the door if she wanted. Damn I feel so bad for her but at least she's dead so her soul is free ;-;

But you just spike my inspiration I have ideas now!!! Ok let's just assume they died a while ago and in the nightmare they're trapped in the purgatory and repeating the horrible thing that happened in their life just before their death.

Now why were they locked in cells ? I have 2 main ideas :

They show signs of madness/beasthood/ bloodrunkness or that's what the church/someone believed : in the present time you got the black church hunters tracking down and potentially killing people before they became beast or even show symptoms or beasthood... maybe earlier people were just locked away waiting to see if they turned / or sent at the research hall to try to be cured (well they're gonna turn into beast, better be useful at smt I guess.. 🫤) So they turned and where lock in cells like many others people but fromsoftware is not gonna show hundred of people locked in cells so we got them...

They saw something they shouldn't have seen.

So I prefer the 2nd one but linked with the first one too maybe! Ok hear me out- WHAT IF ! What if. They saw Ludwig turned into his monstrous equine form ?? (if that's way before the first clerics beasts that wouldn't made great advertise for the healing church if it's known outside of their walls right? So they were locked in cells....)

Or perhaps they saw Ludwig (as a human) just closing his eye and slamming his sword around and yes he killed beasts but also humans in the middle. And idk what happened in Yharnam with all this corpses and bloodlickers (ok it's a nightmare, horrible things are amplified but still what the hell happened to inspire what we see in game ?! or is could a vision of the apocalypse future too. Layers are mixt, dreams, reality, past, present...)

Maybe they went into the hunter nightmares and discover things they shouldn't have know or find important papers/ had a mission in the chalice dungeons and in the end uncover things they shouldn't have seen and that made them a bit mad too !

Anyway who knows! (I like my idea with Ludwig too! And that made them mad + if I was locked in a cells for a lot of time in those condition I would probably go mad as well.)

Little things about Yamamura too :because he can helps us agains the living failures I hc he was there when the "patients outbreak" happened and help the church/hunters take down the dangerous patients and the living failures who attacked people. (Oh yeah another one of my headcanon/story idea... when Maria passed away the remaining patient went mad...what a mess... they discover her afterwards... but it's a story for another day...I literally saw this idea once a few days ago I think! it's so great and I have this idea since literals months! ) well that would mean they trust Yamaura right? But poor guy probably taking it so well too... and accumulating with everything...

Really curious now, what do you all thought about them locked in cells now ? I don't remember people really discussing it.

[xpiester333x]

And finally, to complete my yearly game posts, here's what I plan on playing in the year 2024:

1. Assemble With Care - a short little game I should be able to knock out in a few hours but I picked it up in a bundle and I have wanted to play it so I will try to knock it out this year.

2. I'm more than half way done with Baldur's Gate 3 but I likely will be playing it through January. I hope to finish it at least once before P3R.

3. Bloodborne - help.

4. Borderlands 2 - since I had such a blast playing Borderlands with my boyfriend this year, I'm looking forward to giving this game a second chance and hopefully enjoying it much more.

5. Borderlands 3 - a little less hopeful for this one, since I haven't heard much good about it, but might as well knock out the main franchise.

6. Boyfriend Dungeon - I just got this for Christmas and I'm excited for the concept of romancing my weapons :)

7. I'm also more than halfway through Catherine, so I also intend to finish that in the coming month.

8. Cat Museum - something cute and short I picked up on mega sale and want to make an effort to play this year.

9. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I actually have no idea what this game is about or if I'll like it but it was a gift so dammit I'll play it.

10. Dragon's Dogma 2 - Dragon's Dogma is easily in my top 10 games of all time, and I am SO hype for this game. The only downside is it's coming in March, and the first quarter of 2024 is pretty PACKED with games for me.

11. Etrian Odyssey - because I never finished it when I owned it on DS but I'm in my Atlus Games era rn so

12. Far: Lone Sails - I was drawn to this game for the art and it seems like a quick little experience of a game.

13. Final Fantasy 16 DLC - blanketing over the currently available DLC and the up and coming DLC.

14. Hades - a carry over from 2023's list but THIS WILL BE THE YEAR (maybe)

15. Haven - I don't think (?) this game is very long but it looks very heartwarming so I'm here for it this year.

16. Little Nightmares 2 - another fairly short game that I have no reason not to play, especially when I'm obsessed with the first one.

17. Little Nightmares 3 - I don't know what the release date is yet but like Borderlands let's try to close out a franchise!

18. Metaphor: ReFantazio - it doesn't even have a release date and I'm already excited about it.

21. Nier Automata - another carry over from 2023, but I have a good feeling about it this year.

19. NEO: The World Ends With You - I hear only good things about this game but I will be walking into it 98% blind.

20. Nightingale - Idk how much I'll actually play this game but my friend and I have been watching its development for years and we are READY

22. Nier Replicant - I watched a friend play some of this and it looked fun, and since I saw it was free on PS plus... why not.

23. Octopath Traveler - this is to feed my JRPG addiction but break up some of my Atlus obsession

24. Opus: Echo of Starsong - This was a gift like 2 years ago and I really want to play it through this year.

25. Persona 3 Reload - I ALREADY TOOK VACATION FOR IT IM SO READY 38 MORE DAYS

26. Persona 4 Arena - Because I think it's the only readily available Persona game I haven't played yet.

27. Sea of Stars - I'm more than half through this too, I stopped playing it to play Tactica so I'll be finishing this soon as well.

28. Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne - I put a fair amount of time into it this year, and I adore this game. I'm finishing it next year.

29. Shin Megami Tensei 5 - for real this year, I promise (🤞)

31. Undertale - why have I not played this? Why did it sit on my list last year untouched? Why did I install it and never play it? The world may never know.

30. Soul Hackers 2 - because again, I'm in my Atlus Games era and I bought it this year so time to play it.

32. Untitled Goose Game - for casual hijinks

I'm even more ambitious this year than last year and thats without knowing even half of whats to be released in 2024 sooo wish me luck.

[maximuswolf]

Deciding what to purchase next

Deciding what to purchase next I have just finished up Final Fantasy XIII, yet another Final Fantasy game & am looking for suggestions from my list about what to play next & would prefer something more modern. This is my list & I may add to it & it entails which single game I would like to play next although I do not have the current-gen-most-modern consoles Reynatis - I have played the Demo for this & it was excellent, I have never played a FuRyu game before & the graphics were superb on my SmartTV. I am looking into playing this on PS4 but have been tempted to wait until it is on saleHalo Infinite - I have played plenty of the multiplayer of this & some of the campaign of the game while it was on GamePass but the steep price tag has always put me off although as a teenager this was my favorite series for the loreDiablo IV - I have played the first Diablo, clocked it & played the second one albeit a long time ago. However i have never played the third one & am wary about re-entering the series right at the fourth one on my xbox one xElden Ring - The dark souls series is something i played although once again only the first one to completion & never the bloodborne series. I enjoy GRR Martin content although it is not my top favouriteSonic x Shadow Generations - Last year I played & platinumed the last PlayStation Sonic, Sonic Superstars. However the lack of dialogue in Sonic games means it is not my favorite, will I get a different experience from this game on Playstation?Fantasian: Neo Dimension - This game was just recently released in the last 12 months & plays like a Final Fantasy game but I do not know a lot of details about it, its price tag is slightly higher but it holds the promise of a more modern feelFinal Fantasy IV - This game Was released around the year of my birth so holds some sentimental value, & i want to platinum it just for the sake of completeness although i do not like Sprite games quite as muchFinal Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster - I have played both X & X-2 but have not loaded all the achievements/trophies & am yet to complete Iutycyr TowerKingdom Hearts Melody of Memory - Of the kingdom hearts games I have played all or most of the English releases including this one but am yet to platinum it, however I find the Proud Mode trophies/achievements daunting but the online mode is a real seller for me, I had a tonne of fun playing matches of this when it released but heard the online section of this game is less active nowAnyone have any suggestions from this list & ideas about what is cheapest, least time involved, what console platform & which is the most fun?I would like to add 1 of these games to my collection within the week Submitted January 07, 2025 at 04:33PM by ozzykiichichaosvalo https://ift.tt/Ickf5sz via /r/gaming

[gorematchala]

I've been playing a ton of shit and not talking about it but

Star Ocean 2nd Story (PS1) is already one of my favorite RPGs just like First Departure R was. I'm kinda leaning toward not liking Claude but its probably because I'm playing as Rena so I'm not getting his internal monologue. But based on his intro in the 2nd Story R demo and how he's acting about Dias I'm like youre kinda a dumbass huh. But not in the lovable heroic way Roddick was. But I think its fine if he kinda sucks, there's room for that

Umihara Kawase is another game that is like instantly on my favorites of all time list. I'm on stage 5 and I'm like okay top 3 SNES game. Could be top 1 but Hebereke and Star Ocean are on there too hehe. But its like a physics based grapple platformer and its so cool. I need to go look at the new one again even though its kinda uggy

I bought Mushihime-sama because I'm still trying to expand my shmup horizons but I haven't been on my Switch much because I'm playing Star Ocean 2 and Pokemon Ruby but from the 2 seconds I played it was really good

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days, I'm giving so much leniency because I want to like Xion and I wanna experience her story. So far I've only done the tutorial with Axel and its a DS game so I dont expect much from it in terms of performance or visuals or whatever, its fine. My problem and why I'm having to exercise patience is that the writing of that series is so frustrating. The idea of that game is flawed. The whole thing exists to make the organization seem lamer. Like the mysterious shadow guys that were a big threat in chain of memories and 2, those guys all get together for meetings where xemnas assigns them busy work and they groan and complain about it even though i always forget theyre supposed to be emotionless. Vexen doing the Nagatoro crazy eyes all the time doesnt come off as hollow to me. It just makes me mad because its like FF7 where it could be great but a man named Tetsuya Nomura was handed a pen and paper and now we're here. But I will do it for her

I played 20 minutes of Izuna Legend of the Unemployed Ninja and I basically did the intro and then died to the 3rd enemy in the first floor of the dungeon but that game shouldve been more popular. It's really good but unfortunately it released on the same system as Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. Izuna sucks so bad I love her. The first thing she does is go to a shrine that says "this gem keeps the gods from being mad at us do not touch" and shes like hehehe all for meeee. Then the inn keeper is like I'm charging you 300x the rent till you fix this and shes like "we cant afford that, I will pay it... with my life" and she takes out a matchlock pistol and puts it to her head, and the inn lady is like yeah alright do it, and then you hear a click noise and Izuna is like damn out of bullets. I was like this is an insane way to introduce this character but shes my fail girl and we're gonna solve this curse together

The other fun thing has been playing Dark Souls 1 with my brother alongside his co-op playthrough of Smellden Ring with his partner, cuz DS1 is a good game and Smellden Ring is so bad that he has fully admitted I was right when i was bitching like a year ago or whatever. Cuz he took faith this time and now that theyve hit the wall of Mohg and Malenia hes like why the fuck is everything in this fucking game INT. And I'm like yeah dude, idk!!! But then like, we just did Sen's Fortress in DS1 and that place is so mean and fucked up but I was having a chill time just walking through all the traps and snake men and kicking my feets under the desk. DS1 is fully relaxing to me just like Bloodborne and most of DS3. Next time we play is O&S though so I'll get back 2 u on that statement

[naumin]

2022 in review

in an effort to blog about art on my art blog more i will be writing a post covering my work in 2022 and maybe some aspirations going forward into 2023

2022 was the year of learning to paint! at the beginning i was really frustrated, a lot of my pieces were very hit or miss and i couldnt tell why some sucked and some fuckd. i nibbled at some online courses for fundamentals, James Gurney’s Color & Light book and Marco Bucci’s painting videos, and was looking for a mentor at one point but i think i stopped cuz i broke my thumb briefly lol

a piece from december 2021 that is just a bit random and i think representative of my stabbing in the dark

studying...

in June i split a schoolism sub with emma and it was an amazing decision. i think if you have limited time to practice drawing or dont know where to go the best thing is to take a course, and ive taken cheap or free courses online but the tutors on schoolism are top of the industry and the quality of their teaching is stellar imo. literally felt my brain explode with knowledge they are the best of the best. i finished the painting workout course with wouter tulp and ive dipped in and out of numerous others since then. its cool bcus u can study at your own pace.

July was artfight, i did talk about it here so not gonna repeat myself heh

then i was really busy with my MA, its been so fun and so exhausting. a year is so short and i want to try all the printing techniques and ceramics and everything cry. but hey now i know indesign and can make my own zines and stuff which is amazing. i also tabled at my first market :) i did really like it and would love to do more, dont want to put pressure on myself to do that this year but at least wanna visit them and scope out the audiences and stuff.

school really is making me appreciate traditional art again, tbh it is nothing like digital. you just cant get that chaos or physical resistance from your materials in digital, everything is very deliberate and constructed and almost predictable. ive started to incorporate more traditional work into my pieces where i can, especially photobashing. i can use photos i offhandedly took years ago and it feels really nice to get to repurpose them.

a spread from my school project, a book about one of my passions (i chose the story of how i got into elden ring!!!) i made it from paper cutting, photobashing, and digital. (im going to sell pdf and physical copies in the new year)

so circling back to the start of the year, i think you can see marked progress in my illustrations that ive posted here. i think i learned a lot about techniques within a painting but i want to learn more about pictorial composition bcus my default tends to be 3:4, portrait, charas centre, and i want to break that habit and tell more effective stories :)

over the past 2 years ive been incorporating more realism into the characters i draw and trying to be really deliberate with what features, proportions etc they have.

a 2021 isa and a 2022 isa

i think i want to maintain this level of detail because its descriptive enough for my needs but i want to push it to be more dynamic and stylised. i really admire the way disney animators like jin kim do it. its because im not confident enough with structure and anatomy to really play with it.

on the other hand with life drawing i really want to do more realism and capture exactly whats in front of me because i think i rely on style as a crutch too much hahaha.

from december. proud of these!!!

thats whats on my mind really. again really dont want to put any undue pressure on myself and i am going to be really busy until october at least. i am seriously proud of my progress in 2022. and im really looking forward to playing bloodborne x

[ordosmarkzero]

I started a Dark Souls replay a little while ago, have been wanting to for a while but was waiting for the pc servers to come back online because playing without messages just felt wrong.

Has been my first time playing since I beat it a few years ago, my first time on the Remastered version and my 2nd proper playthrough (I had a few failed attempts before I beat it the first time where I never got much further than around Darkroot Garden / Depths).

Here's some random thoughts I've had during my playthrough, might continue to update this as I go, also spoiler warning I guess?

This is my first time doing an INT/DEX build (Sorcery) properly, all 3 games + Bloodborne I did STR mainly. At first I felt very powerful compared to that and was surprised at how quickly you can blitz down bosses, but as it went on I started to feel the trade off of not having big armour and not being able to hit as hard with your weapon. I'm glad it's now feeling more like a different kind of challenge instead of just being easier. I'm also intrigued to try out faith now too.

I keep going back and forth and how I feel about the lack convenience compared to 2&3. When I got to just before O&S in Anor Londo I was starting to feel like my spells weren't hitting hard enough so I resolved that I had to go back and buy the ring that boosts sorcery. This meant I had to go back through Anor Londo, then descend Sen's Fortress all whilst not using a bonfire so I could easily Homeward Bone back. It wasn't that bad as you can run past the big guys in AL and I had unlocked the elevator in Sen's, but I got knocked off a ledge by a trap due to rushing + nerves and fell to the bottom, I only just survived and had to then use the ladder to get back up. This journey wasn't that much of a big deal but was definitely one of the more memorable parts of my playthrough, whereas in 2 & 3 it would have just been warping back to the hub then warping back to where I was and have lasted about a minute or two. I also enjoy that the merchants and blacksmiths are spread around the world, makes them and the world feel more alive. But sometimes I do find the "oh I need this item/upgrade so I have to travel all the way here" quite tiresome. I suppose it works better in DS1 because it's a lot easier and quicker to get from place to place.

I tried the Forest Hunter covenant for the first time and it's pretty fun! I never really did any PvP in the first game and most people are much better than me but I enjoyed doing it for a while.

The separation between magic & enchanted feels kind of pointless. Maybe I'm not using the right weapon or I've messed up my build somehow but I plugged my stats and weapon into mugenmonkey and even when I extrapolated my INT to around where it'll probably end up the difference was so minimal in what damage my weapon would end up doing between the two.

It's probably because I play the game quite late at night and the game is so old but it feels quite dead. I've barely seen any summon signs and never been summoned when I dropped one of my own. Have had a few invasions though. I think I'll try again during Return to Lordran and see whether that's any better (which I guess would also be a good time to test out a faith build).

I'd kind of blended together Siegmeyer & Siegward in my mind. Whilst I still like Siegmeyer and think he's quite funny, I love Siegward, he's so charming and all the encounters with him are fun. The first time you meet him and the game lets you know he's there because you hear the "hmmmm" as you pass him on the elevator is forever in my mind and one of my favourite introductions to a character.

On the other hand I found Solaire a bit boring on my first full playthrough but I'm liking him a lot more this time.

The Undead female merchant is also pretty fun, "you'd trust a piece of moss over me..."

[anorlondoarcheryclub]

8, 9, 20 for the asks 😌

8. Do you have any fond coop memories?

So far my best run as a host has been in Elden Ring. A total of three summons, two invaders (we killed the first and went long enough to get a second one!), and two hunters made the first half of Stormveil castle into absolute multicolored chaos.

There's nothing like a party of host, summon, and a blue descending on some invading fool who had no idea what was coming. They put up a fight, and even killed one of the phantoms before being absolutely wrecked by the rest of us.

(Edited, because I must have misremembered. Elden Ring doesn't allow four person parties.)

There's also the person who invaded me in the Archives in DS1, tanked a few hits with shield up, then showed me around the place by gesture. I thoroughly expected them to kill me as soon as I got to the next bonfire, but they dropped a bunch of cracked red eye orbs and went home, instead.

You never know, with this fandom.

9. What are your top three weapons and why?

1. Balder Side Sword, my original and beloved, that carried me all the way through DS1. The moveset feels Right and it has a long lunge that became emblematic of my character. I like the feel of the timing, and the wide slashes make handling mobs easier.

2. Black Knight Halberd. It is so SO sexy. Wide swings, big overhead chop, beautiful details, massive reach. What's not to like?

3. Idol's Chime. Not the strongest hexing chime, nor the wildest design, but it's simple and elegant, and strong enough to get the job done. Besides, I have sentimental reasons to like its appearance.

Honorable mention to the Threaded Cane. I've barely played any Bloodborne, but it's fun.

20. What are your thoughts on PVP?

In genera, I enjoy it. I'm not fond of the invasions that aren't a real contest - someone cheesing with spells I can't meaningfully avoid, or people who pile on when I'm already dealing with a boss (thanks, Elden Ring).

That said, duelists, blue invasions where my whole goal is to stop reds, and reds who have a sense of fair play are just fun! I like the challenge of fighting live people, who are so much less predictable than AIs.

If you had asked me even two years ago, I'd have said I'm not interested. I guess you can say the Souls fandom has corrupted me thoroughly. :)

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kenma kozume x reader (1/2)

Author’s Note: A new story?? SO SOON?? Thank you for all the love for my previous Kuroo story, it meant the world to me. I write for myself primarily, yes, but it brings me SO MUCH JOY to know that my words reach you. It helps with the motivation to put them out more often. Thank you. This story is very close to my heart because I’m a gamer, although I don’t stream. I’m more like Kenma though, personality wise. Haha.

Word count: 5k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma's secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma's second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r O n e : puddinghead0

Kozume Kenma suddenly turned existential when his eyes shifted to his phone screen for the 12th time in ten minutes.

Was he always doing this? Was he always obsessed with his phone to a point where he'd constantly check for notifications? Did this mean he was deeply lonely on the inside and wanted approval from people on a virtual platform, which meant that the approval was also virtual and none of it was real? Did it mean that he craved to nullify the growing void in his chest by distracting himself with a black mirror that showcased light that could permanently impair his sight?

He let out a breath and forced himself not to look at his phone. He didn't care. It didn't matter. That's what he always said.

    "Hey!" His classmate/room-mate screamed from the entrance to his flat, "Are you watching her stream? Posted two minutes ago!"

His phone was definitely slow. He had been checking his phone but there was no notification. Letting out a breath, and giving himself a mental reason to actually check his phone, Kenma opened the notifications tab to see the one notification he had kept his eye out for had been buried under ridiculous facebook notifs.

An inconvenient crush, that's what he told himself whenever he looked at you. You were a streamer, a bit different from what he did on YouTube because you were primarily on Twitch. There were reaction videos of you on YouTube, which was where he found you, but damn—how could one be pretty while rage-quitting a game? It was abnormal. Nothing about you was normal; college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, game reviewer for Sony, and you were insanely cute.

    "She's getting to that part," his roommate commented from behind Kenma's back, while Kenma really just wanted to watch the video in peace, "Shit, she's gonna cry."

You did cry, quite a few times, and too easily if he could add. You cried at the ending of God of War, you cried to The Last of Us (which made sense, but you were perhaps just bawling throughout the entire game), you cried in a game called Detroit: Become Human, you cried far too easily, but you never really quit. He loved how passionate you were about games, and it was the sort of passion he could completely understand.

    "Oh shit," You said in the video, your eyes scanning all over the game screen, "What's happening? What's happening?"

Kenma chuckled at how cute you were, god, you were killing him. You looked worried, and he could visibly see a sweat drop on your forehead, but you were so focused that it didn't matter. Suddenly, there was a screaming sound from the game you were playing, and your eyes popped open as wide as they possibly could and you just sat there, unmoving. He loved how you never squealed or made any loud reactions, except when you were in a fight with a difficult boss, but whenever something traumatic happened, you just froze and sunk it all in. You were currently playing the second part of The Last of Us, and a traumatic scene was definitely happening. Kenma had just finished playing it the night before, so every scene you were playing was familiar.

    "I officially hate this game," You said, your voice breaking and he desperately wanted to hold you, "Fucking hell."

    "God, she's amazing." Kenma's roommate said, eyes turning into literal hearts.

    "Hm." Yeah, she is, Kenma thought, but could never really say.

As a YouTuber himself who streams games, he was aware that you were not as popular, and it was a fact that he really didn't like. Sure, you were on a less popular platform, but Twitch was incredibly popular by itself as well. He also understood the bias that came with being a female gamer, and while it sounded ridiculous to him, Kenma was one of those people who believed gaming required no gender.

He adored your content, and he secretly adored the hell out of you, so seeing you soar would only make him happy.

    "I... I can practically feel what pain she's feeling right now," You spoke about the game, a lone tear threatening to leak out of your eye, "But! We shall persevere. I've been waiting 7 years for this game, so I won't let... won't let something like this halt my interest. Let's see if this has a point to it all."

God, he adored you. But, Kenma considered it an inconvenient crush because of course, the world was small. The first big crush he has on someone and he hoped it would remain over the internet, but it just had to become something more tangible, something that could make him weak in the knees.

You, a college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, a game reviewer for Sony, insanely cute, and also happened to be one of his YouTube channel's biggest fans.

He had only recently discovered your personal twitter handle, and dear lord, you were simping after him with no remorse. It wasn't as if he was all you talked about, but he had also noticed the trajectory of the games you were playing were on par with his own timeline. Kenma had finished his final stream for The Last of Us II just the night before and you had now started playing it. Right before that, it was Bloodborne, and before that, it was Final Fantasy VII Remake. However, your public handle was a lot more professional and despite knowing that it was there, he hadn't sent you a follow request because well, Kenma called himself an introvert in every matter but Kuroo just said he was shy.

While he knew that he could easily approach you and have you know he knew of your existence, Kenma preferred not to get into such detail. It was comfortable admiring you from afar, and it was comfortable being where he was—he had his company to work hard over, he was also a computer student and a YouTuber. Sure, he had his hands full especially after calling you abnormal for something that he himself was doing, but he never really fit into a bracket anyway. Kenma's latent obsession with you was something he wasn't particularly proud of and this wasn't because it had anything to do with you, but simply because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Change, in many ways, scared him. And by changing the structure or dynamics of him admiring you in secret, while you admired him not so secretly, Kenma was certain that it might not lead where he may have wanted it to go.

Surely, Kuroo was against this sort of caution, calling it cowardly and saying it lacked passion; but Kenma knew it was just a crush. There was no way he could deduce the kind of person you were based on how you gamed or reacted to games, based on the little tid-bits of information you gave out while playing those games, or even how you openly spoke about how much you admired 'puddinghead0's videos. Kenma hated Kuroo for giving him that name, but he was too lazy to come up with a new one.

    "Also," You sprung up in the final two minutes of your latest video, "I'm on Patreon, now! I honestly have no idea how it works, but if you really like the content I make and want to support me, you can become a patron and wish me luck!"

Kenma waited for his stupid roommate to go out of his room before he could open Patreon and find your link, which was thankfully in the description. Without a second thought, he donated to your profile but cussed instantly when he realized what he had done.

He had sent you a donation as himself, as 'puddinghead0's Patreon.

Without a second thought, Kenma called Kuroo and explained what had happened.

    "That is why, Kenma, you need to check a thousand times and not let blind love navigate your actions—"

    "If I knew you were going to spout such nonsense I wouldn't have called you."

He could hear Kuroo snicker while he ran a hand through his hair. Kenma groaned before Kuroo said, "How bad is this, Kenma? She'll be happy. Of course, this means she'll know you watch her content, but how bad can this be?"

    "I didn't want her to know."

    "And leave her devoid of the happiness of having her idol appreciate her content? You're cold, Kenma."

    "You don't understand. What if... What if she tries to contact me?"

    "You, my friend, have not even shared your personal account anywhere. The only way she can contact you is by commenting on your videos, which I am sure you check constantly to see if she did comment, or Tweeting, which she does every three days."

Kenma blushed at the accusation because it was true.

    "She won't know who you are. Besides, there's no harm if she even does contact you! Just tell her casually that yeah, you like her contact. I don't see what the big deal is."

    "Of course you don't—"

    "Oh, she's tweeted something."

Kenma's entire body froze. Leaving Kuroo on the call, Kenma opened Twitter on his laptop and there it was, your latest tweet.

I am trying NOT to freak out over puddinghead sending me a donation on Patreon, pls save my soul, I am dead.

Kenma groaned before hearing Kuroo laugh once more, "She's adorable!"

I know that, Kenma thought before feeling his entire face flash up. Ending Kuroo's call, Kenma looked at your public profile before then moving to your personal one. He wasn't following that one either, but he wanted to see your tweets, he wanted to know more about you—he wouldn't deny any of these facts, but Kenma believed it was far too idiotic to dream of getting to know you through a virtual media. He wasn't even the sort of person to become close to people he met in real life, how could he allow himself a virtual friendship?

The thought staggered him, and the idea behind it was what kept him at bay. Kenma wanted to know about you, talk to you, learn about who you were and what you were doing, but he felt the media that connected you was what separated you.

It wasn't cowardice at all if he was just sticking to the facts and being real.

*

The next day, Kenma walked to his class by himself, listening to the latest podcast by Joe Rogan. While the external sound wasn't entirely muted, Kenma could discern sounds of people talking, cars moving around, and other noises even though he was playing the podcast on full sound. However, there was one sound in particular that stood out. Kenma paused before turning to his right, noticing a crowd of people had gathered there, with some sort of event going on. He didn't pay attention to half the events that his college conducted, his mind was obviously quite busy elsewhere, but when the announcer moved around in a weird Joker cosplaying outfit, Kenma was a tad bit intrigued.

Was it gaming related?

He slowly moved toward the crowd before finally being able to hear what the anchor was saying.

    "We've got prizes for the top three best performers, and one of the participants is the one and only (s/n) (y/n), streamer from Twitch!"

Kenma froze, half-minded to run the hell away from there. But, it seemed as if his feet were stuck to the ground. How had he not known this? Didn't you always announce the events you go to? Why were you suddenly here? A second later, he spotted you, hair put up in an updo, a plain black tee, and regular jeans. You were smiling, but some part of that smile seemed a bit hesitant.

    "We will be playing a bit differently today! Instead of the usual Fortnite battles or Apex Legends, we'll be going went and battling out on Red Dead Online! And of course, if you beat (y/n) here you earn bragging rights!"

He noticed you shift in your position a little bit, clearly uncomfortable with the attention you were getting; it didn't even look like you wanted to be there. Kenma could feel his chest hurt, and his palms were sweating now. That's all it is, he told himself. An inconvenient crush, an inconvenient crush, that's all.

Kenma sighed before noticing how he barely knew anyone there and was almost thankful for that fact; but before he could thank his stars, a hand threw itself around his neck and sprung him forward, earning the attention of not just everyone there, but especially you.

    "We have our first participant," It was his goddamn roommate, "Kenma's a brilliant gamer!"

Kenma's eyes immediately found yours, and you were looking at him with wide, confused eyes. Although this was set in the open and the atmosphere was quite cold, Kenma felt nothing but warmth radiating all over his body at the mere sight of you; you were just a few feet away, and you were giving him a rather sympathetic expression, and god, you looked so fucking pretty—

    "That's great! Sign up, ya'll! Winner will be winning a brand new DualShock 4!"

Oh fuck, Kenma thought before he felt his heart beginning to pound. He was now seated beside you, and he could practically shrink into non-existence. You were unmoving, and you weren't looking at him, but would you have looked at him if you knew he was puddinghead? Insecurity swarmed his being and he could practically feel steam escaping his ears but a moment later, he thought he'd die.

    "This was so last minute," you said, rubbing the back of your neck, "The anchor's my cousin and she's so demanding."

    "Oh," Kenma said, feeling his heartbeat skyrocket, "I see."

    "Yeah! I mean," You giggled now, "I'm not even good at Red Dead Online!"

Kenma smirked, knowing the fact already. You struggled with Red Dead Redemption not because you were bad, but because you couldn't progress with a plot so divisive. You wanted to explore more, and since the game was so vast, you barely bothered with the Online version. You turned to him now and tilted your head.

    "You're a gamer, I heard? Kozume-kun, right?"

Fuck, she knows my name, "Y-Yeah. I game when I'm free."

    "Do you have a Twitch or YouTube?"

There's no fucking way I'll answer that, "No—"

    "Ah, you must really be having a great time then."

Kenma blinked before turning to you with confusion. What did you mean?

    "Don't you enjoy streaming?"

    "Ah, no, no," You flailed your hands shyly, and Kenma believed he could combust, "It's not like that. I just think, after a point, streaming becomes more for the fans than for yourself. I used to do it for me, but now... I'm needed in places like this for promotion, and I need to have a Patreon if I'm popular or it'll look weird, I don't know... Too many restrictions. I just love gaming, you know?"

Kenma found himself smiling, "Yeah, I know. I've seen your videos."

    "Oh?"

Kenma's eyes widened. He wanted to slap himself on his forehead.

    "I—I mean, y-you're popular."

    "Thanks! You're really sweet, Kozume-kun!"

Fucking hell, Kenma placed a hand on his forehead, She's too cute.

    "Say," you said, a sly tone to your voice, "Do you want to get out of here?"

    "I'd do anything." Kenma honestly agreed.

But, you couldn't just up and leave. You were called here as Twitch streamer (s/n) (y/n), and that meant your behavior was restricted. As much as you seemed to hate said restriction, Kenma was certain that you wouldn't go against it. It could take a big blow against your viewership, and you wouldn't take that chance.

A second later, your hand gripped his wrist before you shot him a wink. Kenma's heart jumped to the skies before you pulled him away from the crowd, with participants lining the entrance to enter their names. Sure, you were doing something bad—your cousin wanted you there, but not once had she even asked if you wanted to be a part of this event. Just as Kenma was pulled in without his consent. You weren't a competitive gamer, and you were not going to be, even if it was for someone else. After running away a fair distance, Kenma felt the part of his wrist burn right where you were touching him.

    "I think I need to run more in real life and not just as Ellie." You said, and Kenma chuckled.

    "Running's good."

    "I used to run track," You said, turning to him. "Now I run in games and that's it."

You have no right being that cute, he thought before clearing his throat. He slowly pulled away from you, which made your eyes widen before shooting him an apologetic smile. He was a bit confused as to what you had done, did this mean you didn't care about losing followers?

    "You might think that I've committed career suicide," You scoffed, "Honestly, this is the bravest I've been in so long."

    "What do you mean?"

You shrugged, "Ever since I became a bit popular by streaming, I've just... I could feel myself change with the way my viewers wanted me to be? I don't blame them or anything, I just think that the love I get from them makes me yearn for more. And that yearning leaves me... inept to be myself. It's the downside of wanting to remain popular, I guess."

    "It's not like you can't be yourself and still be popular." Kenma added.

    "Yeah I know," You said, "I mean, just look at puddinghead0, we don't even know what he looks like, and wow. I adore his content."

Kenma froze once more. Was this being recorded? Did Kuroo finally tip you off and was this being filmed for his reaction? Whatever it was, he wasn't going to reveal to you now.

    "Y-Yeah, I think he just doesn't care."

    "I wish I was more like that because I end up caring. I like the comments and the views and the love. Agh, it's such a weird complex moral question. Don't even get me started."

Kenma laughed at your reaction before you turned to him and stuck a tongue out. Kenma rolled his eyes before waving a hand at you.

    "If anything," Kenma said, looking at the ground, "You didn't lose this follower today."

Your eyes widened at his statement. You smiled before nodding, and let out a chuckle.

    "Thank you, Kozume-kun."

*

Locking the door to his room, Kenma began to edit for his latest video. He was making a review for The Last of Us 2, but his mind was elsewhere. He still hadn't told Kuroo that he had met you, which would only cause the black-haired man to tease him relentlessly. Letting out a sigh, he felt sleep douse his eyelids as he continued the edit, right before a notification popped up on his phone.

It was you.

He narrowed his eyes before checking the date and time; it was unusual for you to stream live on random days. He'd learned your pattern by now. You'd been doing this for a couple of months, and it was quite easy for him to know just when and what time you'd begin. However, the screen for The Last of Us 2 was open and you looked like you had just stopped crying. His heart broke at the sight, and he instantly closed the tabs to his own edit, before opening your video on his monitor. You were taking deep breaths before chuckling.

    "Hello to everyone that's still with me," You sounded so broken, Kenma felt helpless as he continued staring at you, "You might be wondering why I'm... yeah. So, I did something and I guess I got punished for it? I was forced into a game contest and I think walking out of it made some of my followers mad. I even spoke to this other person about walking out and honestly, it didn't hit me then that what puddinghead's doing takes a lot of courage."

    "Ah, fuck, (y/n)," Kenma groaned.

    "I guess even when I expected to lose followers, I didn't expect the hate? Some of the comments were just... nasty. I..." You sniffed, "...I didn't expect that you would hate on someone for making a personal choice? And I didn't do it to offend anyone, I seriously don't know how the internet works. Oh, oh wow—" You looked troubled and Kenma could see why. "—losing out on viewers now, great. 'Don't be a whiny bitch', 'This is why girls shouldn't game'..."

You took a deep breath before calming down and saying the few words Kenma feared you might eventually come around to say.

    "This is (y/n), signing off to a world where gaming is appreciated and is not filled with a community of hate. Hope to see you there."

And the stream ended.

Kenma sighed before leaning back, no thought in his head. He knew for a fact that his room-mate must have seen the stream as well, and Kuroo would be calling him about the entire ordeal just to ensure he had something to say about it. Kenma, on the other hand, felt like he had practically pushed you to make this decision and partly felt like taking the blame, despite the common sense telling him that he had nothing to do with it. You weren't the sort of person who would jump at something without a second thought, and even if he didn't know you personally, he had been following you and your streams for months now. It felt like he knew that part of you quite well.

Kuroo was the first to call. Kenma stared at the phone for a bit before letting out a breath and getting back to editing his video. He only had to add commentary, and his mind was already circling on what to say.

Uploading the video took him exactly two more hours, after having missed three calls from Kuroo and twelve messages. At one point, Kuroo had even stopped contacting Kenma, thinking he was busy with something, and he was spot on. Kuroo's eyes wandered on the new notification about his friend's YouTube channel, which was weird considering it was not yet time for him to post something. He knew quite well that Kenma might have definitely seen (y/n)'s stream, and wanted to desperately talk to him about it, but without a clue of what the boy was thinking, Kuroo simply clicked on the notification and let the video play out.

It was the review for the game, The Last of Us 2, and Kuroo knew while giving the review, which was around 8-9 minutes, Kenma would speak his thoughts that were a tad bit uncensored toward the end. He'd talk about the drama surrounding the game, he would even bring up the entire hate that this game was receiving, but instead—Kenma had a rather strange dialogue instead.

    "One thing I don't understand is how toxic the gaming community can be, at times," Kuroo paused, narrowing his eyes at his friend's words, "While we welcome new gamers to the entire journey of learning and discovering the joy of gaming, we also tend to put them down if they didn't adhere to a certain trend. I came across one such incident happening to (s/n) (y/n)'s Twitch channel."

    "Holy shit!" Kuroo sat up straight, eyes wide as saucers at the bold move his friend made.

    "I'm part of this community and I think I have the right to call out how toxic we are in general," 

Kenma's voice didn't even waver, but after knowing him his entire life, Kuroo could deduce that the boy was a bit angry, 

"(y/n) didn't particularly do anything wrong, and she's received some nasty comments about being a female gamer, and I think that's...just disgusting. She has all the right to either attend or ditch a gaming event, and no one has to be forced to do something they don't want to do. We all have games we don't like despite being gamers, we don't have to do it all. I support (y/n), and I'll admit, I'm saddened by how her fans have treated her. Her content is great and I have immense respect for her. I hope she decides to come back and stream more. That being said, I think The Last of Us 2 is..."

As he got around to talk more about the game, Kuroo knew that this was a huge step for Kenma, and he had no idea what suddenly made the boy rethink his entire decision on never bringing her up. Now that he had, he's indirectly initiated a conversation with her, she'd definitely try and reach out now—in any way she possibly could, just to thank him at least.

Kuroo noticed his phone ringing a second later and a grin made its way to his lips.

    "What just happened?"

    "I met her, Kuroo," Kuroo almost had the wind knocked out of him, "She was at my college campus. I was walking back to my room since classes were canceled. There was some sort of gaming event. She didn't want to be a part of it, and neither did I, and we ditched. It was—"

    "You like her more now, don't you?"

When Kuroo received nothing more than silence from Kenma's end, he was certain. His precious, introverted, best boy had fallen for someone. It was a proud moment, almost.

    "You have to tell her—"

    "Kuroo, this... this is all I want to do."

    "That's bullshit, and even you know that."

    "What? You want me to open up to her and tell her I'm the YouTuber she's been gushing about for so long and I was the one who kind of pushed her into doing what she did, and so that she can hate me afterward for hiding the truth because I wouldn't be losing out on anything and she—"

    "Whoa there, Kenma. I'm just saying go talk to her as her favorite YouTuber. You're overthinking this."

    "No, you're underthinking this. I did what I had to do. It was... hard to see her like that."

Kuroo let out a sigh but before he could say anything, Kenma had already ended the call. That boy needs to grow a pair, he thought, a bit annoyed at Kenma's nature of avoiding his feelings. While Kenma believed it was for the best, he knew he was simply running away from it. Kuroo knew his friend adored (y/n), but the boy couldn't categorize that as real feelings because he's met her just once. Finding something real virtually scared him more than finding something real in real life, and while Kuroo wanted to understand that, it only annoyed him because Kenma wasn't even trying.

When you watched puddinghead0's recent video, you were jaw-dropped in awe and absolute admiration. Tears filled your eyes, but what was more was how his voice now seemed a tad bit familiar, though you didn't pay any heed to it since you've been following this channel for an entire year now. It moved you to know someone you've been admiring has been watching your content, but at the same time, he was speaking up for you? You wanted to thank him, you wanted to send him a message and say you were incredibly grateful for what he's done and the only way you knew you could say something was on Twitter.

So you mentioned him on a tweet and poured your heart out within character limit. You wondered if he would notice your tweet since you've mentioned him countless times before, but even if he didn't, even if he paid you no heed after all of this, you were still grateful. However, a second later, you received a new follower. You blinked upon noticing that it was Kozume-kun from the other day. A soft smile fell on your lips at the soft recollection of running away from a gaming event, after which everything spiraled, but you didn't in any way blame him. Your mind again drifted back to puddinghead0 and you sighed.

I'd kill to see him, man, you thought, eyeing your tweet of him dreamily.

A second later, there was a notification. You almost spat out your heart at the mere words: puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

    "Oh my god—" You choked on air. However, a second later, you found it difficult to remain sitting on your bed.

Don't thank me, I hope you're feeling better. You didn't deserve any of that.

Is that a—

...deserve any of that. <3

Fuck me.

Kenma almost dozed off in class right before it ended. It wasn't like it was school where the teacher would wake him up after noticing him asleep, no one really bothered. Kenma was pushed awake by the momentum of the class once it was over and he leaned back before gathering his things. Tightening his hair tie, he casually walked out of class and got to the campus. He spotted the event area, where the gaming event had occurred and instantly spotted his room-mate and a bunch of people gathered there. Rolling his eyes, he walked away from there, not wanting to gather any attention.

    "Kenma!"

He had failed. Kenma froze to his spot before turning to spot his room-mate dashing over to him, a wide grin plastered on his features. Wrapping a hand over Kenma's shoulders, his roommate brought him to the others he was talking to, before releasing him.

    "You're that guy (y/n) ran away with during that event, right?" One of them asked, and Kenma didn't bother to respond.

    "Why did she run though? I mean, it doesn't make sense for her to just up and leave."

    "I've been telling you," The same guy said, "She's not the one playing those games. She's just the face."

Kenma frowned. What is this dick talking about?

    "Man, I think that's harsh," His roommate said, "I just think she's too chicken to play in front of people—"

    "She's literally a streamer." Kenma said, rolling his eyes.

    "Yeah, but why did she—"

    "If you can't understand that she doesn't owe you shit, then there's no helping it. She didn't want to play at that event, and she didn't. I don't see why you aren't calling me a fake gamer for running too." Kenma snapped.

The others shrugged, "That's because we've seen you play—"

    "It's bullshit." Kenma said before walking away. You all are bullshit, he thought before the frown on his face settled into an uncharacteristic glare, directed at what who knows what.

A moment later, he felt his phone buzz with a notification. Kenma opened his phone and saw that he had a message from you, but what confused him was—

The message was directed to Kenma and not puddinghead. His heart jumped as his fingers roamed over the notification, wanting to open it only when he was in the comfortable confines of his room. Swallowing the bubbling anxiety, Kenma fought the urge to smile as he continued walking back, unaware of what the Twitter message could be. It would normally take him around 12 minutes to get to his apartment from campus, but that day, Kenma merely took 7.

On reaching his room, he finally allowed himself to open your message.

(y/n): Hey! I've taken a break from streaming for now, just wanted to let you know. I don't know why I'm sending you this message, but talking to you that day made me realize that I don't really need to seek approval constantly. Also, puddinghead liked my tweet and I'm a bit too happy so I needed to gush, don't @ me

Kenma chuckled, feeling his heart jump at every word you'd said. He knew you didn't realize that you were gushing about him to him, but that didn't matter. He wanted to gush about you too. He felt a stone stuck at his throat at how real all of this felt, despite having only seen you once.

Kenma Kozume: I think he's the sort of guy who isn't too loud about the things he likes. And I think a break is a good idea, (s/n).

(y/n): Call me (y/n), came the immediate response. Kenma's eyes widened at the fact that you were online, and that the two of you were currently exchanging messages live.

(y/n): Yeah, I got the feeling from his videos that he's perhaps a private person. I'm still really glad that he supported me, I can't thank him enough. I'm feeling much better already!

Kenma smiled, I'm glad that you are.

(y/n): Also

He blinked.

(y/n): Do you want to co-op at Bloodborne? I'm trying to get a platinum, haha.

    "Fuck," He let out a breath before chuckling uncharacteristically. "You can't be serious."

(y/n): I'll send you my PSN, and you can add me as a party member. Only if you're up to it, I mean.

Kenma Kozume: Sure, sounds like fun. Also

Kenma gulped. He felt like this was showing off, but he didn't care. He was going to say it.

Kenma Kozume: I already have platinum in Bloodborne. :)

(y/n): Ah, screw you.

Kenma chuckled. He wouldn't admit it, but his heart was hammering against his chest and his palms were sweating. Soon, he'd be connected to you via the DualShock and the two of you would be co-oping in a game that was designed to make players fail. He wasn't too sure how much more his heart was going to take, and while he knew he had to tell someone, for some reason, Kenma wanted to keep this a secret. It wasn't because he was ashamed or he didn't want anyone to find out.

It was simply because it was too good to be true, and he didn't want to lose out on a chance to get to know you more. Because, if this kept up...

If this kept up, Kenma was surely going to fall in love with you.

[izayoichan]

all of them :3

Well.. already answered some, but you will have the rest ;)

1. Favorite video game?

The last of us & The last of us 2 (Nope, not the sims, I know that's probably what people expect, but nah.)

2. First console you owned?

Playstation (yeah, the first one ;))

3. A game that holds a special place in your heart?

Answered here. I can add FFXIV, which is my current mmo addiction, playing with friends is always fun.

4. Favorite video game character?

Answered here.

5. Least favorite video game character?

Answered here.

6. Favorite genre?

I mostly play RPG's and generally story heavy games. They often mix together, so win win.

7. Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

Connor from Detroit Become Human, Sepiroth from FFVII (one does like a badguy), Chris Redfield of course.. who hasn't?

8. First video game you remember playing?

Prince of Persia, on my uncles MAC. It was one of my very early introductions to gaming, and I never got very far. It was hard!

9. Age you started gaming?

Answered here.

10. Hardest video game you’ve played?

Answered here

11. Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

This depends.. if I take all the Final Fantasy games and see them as one.. then them. If not, at least for a while longer, the game I spent the most time on is easily World of Warcraft. Although FFXIV is slowly catching up!

12. Most embarrassing gaming moment?

My complete and utter inability to jump.. in every game I jump and fall off stuff.. it keeps being embarrassing.

13. Scariest video game you’ve played?

PT (Playable Trailer) that sadly never became an actual game. Now I generally don't feel scary games are scary, but man, that was creepy to play. (I sadly didn't get it downloaded on PS myself, but got to play it on a friends)

14. Most memorable gaming moment?

The end of ARR, combined with all of Shadowbringers main story.. never had a game that left me with any feeling like it.. you got so into it, and then suddenly you just sit there feeling empty when there isn't any more and you know it.. not for a while anyways.

15. Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

Answered here & here

16. PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

Answered here.

17. Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

If you asked me 10 years ago it would be Blizzard. Now its Square Enix. (Final Fantasy anyone? Guess you all expected me to write EA for sims huh? ;)

18. If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Final Fantasy XIV, because I could at least play with others and endlessly change my houses. (Also their still expanding on it for years to come.)

19. Do you use strategy guides?

Yep! (specially to learn new fights in ffxiv if I feel like I struggle to understand them. )

20. How often do you use cheats?

Answered here

21. Competitive or single player?

Single player (MMO to me is more cooperation than competitive, at least the way I play, I don't need first kills anymore)

22. Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

Yuna in her wedding dress from FFX... I have never cosplayed though, but always wanted to try that. That and my own characters, not that I am a) male or 2) would fit the clothes, but still.

23. Ever go to a video game convention?

I am not sure it counts as a convention, but it is the biggest similar thing in Norway, Spillexpo, and I was there once.

24. Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

Cleric beat in bloodborne.. good I hate that fight..

25. Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

Answered here & here

26. Favorite gaming series?

Unsuprisingly (or for some I guess surprisingly) Final Fantasy

27. Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

Depends on the game. If its a gamestyle I know I can skip it.

28. Best online gaming experience?

Doing actual extreme content when their main content, because the people in my fc are crazy enough to take me with them. Even though they know I probably hold them back. And that awesome feeling when we clear it and I get something shiny I think I would never see until maybe the next expansion.

29. Worst online gaming experience?

Realizing the once friendly random wow comunity was gone, replaced with a bunch of elitist jerks. It helped me change games though to something better

30. Why do you game?

Answered here

[doshmanziari]

Demon’s Souls || 2020 Notes [1]

While replaying Demon’s Souls I thought it’d be fun to describe some of its special qualities and certain differences between it and the Dark Souls series. The latter has almost completely overshadowed the former, to the extent that the first Dark Souls is often treated as the starting point for FromSoftware’s post-PlayStation 2 output, so it is now arguably more worthwhile than ever before to, you know... acknowledge Demon’s Souls’ existence.

• It is a little ironic that the visually darkest of the Souls games is not any of the ones with “Dark” in their title; it is, in fact, Demon’s Souls. Demon’s is full of spaces with utter or near-utter blackness, spaces which only reveal their structural character until you’re a step away from a wall or colonnade. This is an exciting quality on its own, one that makes the areas you’re navigating retain a sublimely threatening aspect separate from that of the mortal threats the enemies pose, and it becomes especially exciting when comparing it to Dark Souls 3′s inappropriate brightness on even its lowest lighting setting.

• Relatedly, Demon’s Souls is the only one of these games which bothers to explain your character’s illuminative capability: a small, brightly glowing stone (perhaps a good luck charm and a practical item) is attached to their hip. Dark Souls 2 and 3 and Bloodborne allow torches to be used (Bloodborne, too, a lantern), but your avatars otherwise exude an inexplicable light.

• The Dark Souls series represents a break from Demon’s Souls’ level design not just by way of its variously realized interconnectivity but also by distancing itself from constricted meandering layouts. Although Demon’s Souls’ areas are organizationally diverse -- one couldn’t be mistaken for another --, there are pervasive architectural motifs such as halls no wider then your person, slim towers or verticalities with staircases or planks tightly winding up and down the walls, and bits where you can miss a thin portal or doorway by not swiveling the camera around your entire immediate surroundings. This is, perhaps, one consequence of differing staff on level design and of Demon’s Souls’ adjacency to the King’s Field series.

• I’ve written before about how adventurous Demon’s Souls is with its boss fights, and I’ll write about it again! Oftener than not, bosses�� rooms are extensions of the preceding level design, rather than stripped down, isolated rings. Think of the church wherein the False Idol appears: this is a struggle where offensive tactics assume equal importance to weaving around the obstructing pews and hiding from magical projectiles among the side aisles. For this trend, we might be able to partly thank a lack of confidence in the mechanics sustaining head-on, arena-based fights. It is also notable that a number of bosses have fairly passive designs (e.g., Phalanx, Adjudicator, Storm King, Maiden Astraea, the Dragon God in its final phase, or King Allant). Opponents can be vulnerable and pitiable, creating an emotional variety and accentuating the narrative of us being the “demon” in the game’s title.

• Demon’s Souls doesn’t allow you to access the Nexus, the game proper, without firsthand experiencing your own death. Dark Souls shows your person as having already hollowed; Dark Souls 2 marks your entry into Drangleic with a cinematic wherein you pass through the threshold of a vortex; Dark Souls 3 shows you rising from your grave. Bloodborne may be the closest to Demon’s Souls: most of us will have likely died our first before coming across a lamp, and thus will be introduced to the Hunter’s Dream -- Bloodborne’s home base -- by death; but this is still unlike Demon’s Souls, which establishes a significantly fatalistic atmosphere with this moment of utter requisition.

• With its visuals’ technical effects (e.g., the warm, distinct halos surrounding candles’ flames), the muted palettes, and the plain attire of other characters and architecture -- often severe, and lacking any ornamentation or just minimally articulated -- Demon’s Souls recalls King’s Field IV. Monolithic sites and structures can impress a domineeringly absolutist effect by their scale and degree of aesthetic anonymity/repetition, and Demon’s Souls’ architecture utilizes this effect in places like Stonefang Tunnel, the Tower of Latria, and the Boletarian complex to create a world capable as much of intimidating as it is of suggesting monomaniacal psychologies and historical dramas.

• Demon’s Souls has the unique, relative to the Dark Souls titles and Bloodborne, contextual mechanic whereby your person can mount a higher tier if you continue walking against the designated rise in terrain. Fall damage is also drastically slight, so you can fall farther distances and survive. To me, these two particularities create a subtly broader sense of exploratory possibility that you don’t get in FromSoftware’s later Eurocentric games, despite Dark Souls’ addition of a running jump mechanic. This sense of possibility is not proportional to what you can actually do; rather, it is about what you feel that the game might allow you to do.

• For a miscellaneous conclusive entry: I went through the 2009 reviews for Demon’s Souls on Amazon a while back to see what English-speaking/writing people were comparing it to. Nowadays, we have the bland, readymade term “Souls-like”, but, a decade and several months ago, Demon’s Souls seemed to many people outside of Japan to have come out of nowhere, making their likenings interesting to read (of note, too: even among the 800+ reviews, spanning from 2009 to 2020, King’s Field is mentioned less than ten times). I recognize that the image is blurry, and have, for accessibility, written the selected quotes out below.

This game strikes out to be a bit of a throwback 1980s style RPG in both difficulty and handholding (or lack thereof). If you played and enjoyed the original Wizardrys, Ultimas, and AD&D *Gold Box* games, this is your ride. This game was designed for you.

This game is not hack n’ slash. I repeat, NOT HACK N’ SLASH. Those of you expecting a game like Diablo 2 or God of War will probably be a little confused when you are getting destroyed by every little puny enemy in game.

I like this game, but I wanted to love it. I was hesitant to own it because I am a little old for hardcore games that everyone praises for their difficulty, but I was persuaded to try it because of fond memories of a wonderfully difficult combat RPG called Severance Blade of Darkness. Unable to find a rental I bought it. Sadly, I think this game does not measure up to the reviews.

The RPG system of Demon’s Souls is quite reminiscent of Vagrant Story’s, allowing players to increases stats and equipment as they like, without following a set path. You must choose a particular class to begin, but you can then develop however you like. It is entirely possible to start as a barbarian and become a mage, or choose to spread your stats equally. The path you choose will, however, have a drastic effect on how the game is played.

This Demons Souls has definately redefined a “HARD” game. Reminds me of the game ICO, yet makes me feel that Im actually there. You may die alot, but each time you do, it is always your fault. I mean this in the literal sense. No more button mashing.

Some people may compare the toughness to games like the Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden series, but in my view, although it may be as tough, it’s in a very different way. Whereas with DMC or NG you had to wide awake and really on top of things to both enjoy it and actually get anywhere, I find it’s actually possible to play Demon’s Souls while half asleep. DS is more about being careful and not entering an area until you’re absolutely sure your character is completely prepared.

1st: this game is very much like a modernized old nintendo game, for better & worse. I would liken it even to Deadly Towers(gasp!), but I mean that in the good way. You’re dropped in an extremely difficult gameworld with almost no introduction, you’re character starts out very weak and you need to explore (carefully!) to find some loot that will begin to make you stronger.

Gameplay: It’s hard to describe Demon’s Souls since it feels like something you’ve played before yet you couldn’t think of it if you tried. Essentially imagine the 3rd person swordplay of Oblivion, world traversing of Zelda and RPG elements of pretty much every one you’ve tried in the past 10 years.

[fantomette22]

Yep you right. And reading into my mind 😂

But really i got it worst in another fandom years ago (kingdom hearts my beloved) Like i personally saw a ship with the protagonists/ deuteragonist more platonically but i really like that it could be seen as more romantic! But people were so mean omg i pass from being positive towards it to really neutral/ seen them just as BFF xD but it was a while ago

But smt worst i saw was like « we can see the difference between who’s a friend or not if you see this 2 characters as gay best friends (like me) or ship them… » well sorry to ship 2 characters with a great alchemy where one might actually have canon romantic feelings for the other but ok sure :/

And also « unfollow me if you follow THIS artist who ship X! And made ship art of Y too » damnit. I didn’t follow this person thankfully but i knew The artist they reffer too and who got vagueblog. They are super nice and even if there’s some of their ship i’m kind neutral about it is cute and also they draw on of my otp smt so like- i feel super bad for them

So yep it hurts when smn talk shit about smn else or an interpretation / ships and actually ship that other thing you like less! If that make sense. So you identify and links the 2 together when you shouldn’t. But it’s not the thing/ media alone you dislike but more the human behind that you don’t stand on internet.

And to get back to the exemple you speak about well after playing bloodborne for the first time, due to my experience and understanding of the game (+ french dub) i din’t saw Mariadeline as smt really romantic. But i agree after seing various interpretations afterwards that before the research hall it could work yeah! It’s not my main interpretation (excepting a really specific AU). But there was a time after some times in the fandom where of course i sadly associated the ship with mean behaviour that made me like it even less.

But seeing interpret like yours or 8km-2 🥺 or a few other interpretations i can find it even more cute with you context. And it’s just cool positivity and serotonin now where before it was either neutrality « but hey cool art », just didn’t care that much or i sadly had in mind the comments that mark me from well the person who could share it hm…

So yeah anyway like and share what you want guys! (If of course it’s respectful and you know in the rules of the websites) Stand your ground and don’t let other dictate what you should like/ don’t like! But also defend and stand your ground you have the right to not like smt/ prefer smt else and people need to respect that too.

Somehow it seems i may have been more at peace with some ships frequently.

Besides a few things that repulsed me i’m always kinda neutral or even positive towards ships i don’t ship myself/ or don’t have a brainrot on . (If people explain it well i’m really supportive 👍)

And when i start to dislike smt it’s more because of users associating with it and being really mean towards others. For reasons i can’t really understand??

Well i hope it don’t change in like…3 days 😂 but all of this to say that good takes and sharing them while always been kind of supportive of other people, despise differences of interpretations is important. And really cool

[focsle]

Weird question, but do you have any bloodborne tips? I got it a few years ago cause a friend wanted to play online together, but I never could get past the first "level?" I've tried walkthroughs but they underestimate my ineptitude :^( Anyway your recent posts reminded me of it, so I thought why not ask? Hope you're having a good day!

Hope you’re having a good day too!

I think be patient, know that it’s a Dying game where you’re basically...supposed to die to learn, and don’t be consumed by hubris. It’s definitely got a learning curve, but not one that is unfair once you learn the mechanics of the enemies. But it’ll absolutely punish you if you get impatient or cocky or try to get in one more hit than you should.

Visceral attacks are great (staggering an enemy with a gun just before they hit you or backstabbing them with a charged R2 attack, and then quickly hitting R1 when they’re down). If you learn the timing for enemies and bosses so that you’re able to stun them and RIP OUT THEIR EVERYTHING, it goes a long way in doing damage.

Also pay attention to runes to equip to your character (and gems for your weapons) to make them most effective with your needs. Like...I rely on viscerals a lot so I have runes that up my damage when doing them and heal me afterwards. I personally find some objects universally helpful too, like Old Hunter Bone, which helps in dodging.

In the case of a lot of bosses, it helps to get in close to them rather than keep your distance. Roll into their attacks rather than away--though, again, strategy depends on what you’re fighting. But a lot of them tend to reward a more aggressive play style. And with all enemies, when they do damage you’re able to regain that health back in a small window of time if you attack them in that window.

EDIT: Adding @ourinquisitorialness’s comment of Old Advice I apparently gave but FORGOT was a thing but is VITAL 2 know:

‘These are good tips, but honestly, I would have literally never gotten past the first part if you hadn't told me to just run straight past all the monsters until I reached the first boss so I could start collecting Souls. I feel like new players need to know that because it feels impossible and disheartening if you don't know that you can't level up until you get that first point of Insight.’