#me on a weekend where I have lots of time: meh I don't feel like drawing

[curiosityschild]

Amphibiuary Day 20 - Famous

Kermit, but the “Once in a Lifetime” version

[yelenasdiary]

New Friend Request

Pairing: Gamer! Kate Bishop x Reader

Summary: After posting on a subreddit looking for people to play a new game with, you received a new friend request.  

| Comfort? | 0.8K | No Warnings | 

AC: Here is something a little different to my usual works! I hope you enjoy this, I found it pretty fun to write!

It was Friday night, you had a weekend off from work and had planned to sit down with plenty of snacks and binge play a new video game you just treated yourself too. The only downside was that all your friends that you played video games with were either busy this weekend or had no interest in playing the new game you'd been waiting so long to play.

With a sigh and nerves kicking around in your stomach you decide to post on a subreddit asking if anybody else would like somebody to play with over the weekend. It wasn't something you'd done before but you liked playing games with friends more than playing solo.

Hours had past and your phone was left dry, not a single notification from anybody reacting to your post. Another sigh left your body as you tossed your phone to the side and decided to turn your PS4 off.

*DING*

(LuckyArrow has sent a friend request)

The notification stared at you deeply as the feeling of excitement and relief soon filled you. You punched in your passcode and quickly accepted the strangers friend request.

LuckyArrow: Hey! are you still looking for somebody to play Dying Light 2 with? I saw your post on reddit! ☺️

yourusername: Hey, I am! I just thought the game and none of my friends want to play it with me 😩

LuckyArrow: agh! that sucks! I have a friend, Yelena, she doesn't play video games much and refuses to play with me! If you want, I'd love to play it with you. Have you played the first one?

yourusername: That would be great! Thanks! I'm assuming your user is LuckyArrow on PSN aswell? I have played the first, have you? Oh! btw, I'm Y/n!

LuckyArrow: Sure is! You have a cute name! I'm Kate, are you from New York?

yourusername: Oh wow! 😅 Don't take this the wrong way but I wasn't expecting you to be a girl! I actually just moved to NYC! Are you also from here?

LuckyArrow: You'd be surprised how many of us female gamers are out here ☺️ Where did you move from? if you don't mind me asking

yourusername: Just a small town that was hella boring! hence why I got into video games haha!

LuckyArrows: I hope you don't mind, I had a look at some of the game you play! You have good taste, how far are you into the story of Dying Light?

yourusername: Thanks! & not very far, I don't really like playing games solo most of the time. I've completed the first couple of missions though so I'm able to play co-op.

LuckyArrows: Awesome! Well, I have plenty of time tonight if you'd like to play now? If not, just let me know when you're free and we'll work something out ☺️

yourusername: Actually, I'm free all weekend so now would be great! Do you wanna play on my save or we can start one on your game? Whatever works ☺️

LuckyArrow: I've already completed it, let's just do a save on your game! Send me an invite x

LuckyArrow: Sorry about the x!!!! I'm just used to sending it to friends 😅😅

yourusername: Don't stress! it's okay ☺️ I'll send you an invite rn!

Friday night soon faded into the early hours of Saturday morning, plenty of laughs and jokes were made between you and your new friend, Kate. You learnt a lot about her, you felt comfortable with her even though she technically is still a stranger online, you both planned to meet for pizza for lunch.

Who knew that a simple post online would lead to you making a new friend.

2 months later

LuckyArrow: Hey! you free this weekend? sorry I couldn't play last weekend, I had a mission...I missed you though! 💜

yourusername: Hey!! Don't stress it, you get to actually kick some bad guys butts! it's pretty cool! I am free this weekend, I took work off, I need a break anyways. I missed you too, did your mission go well?

LuckyArrow: Meh, it was a pain (literally) but one less menace on the streets to deal with now! 💪🏼, I actually wanted to ask if you'd like to come over...I can order pizza and we can play video games or something, whatever you like! 😅

yourusername: Of course! it'll be so fun! Are you okay though? you seem a little off? x

LuckyArrow: I'm Fine ☺️ wanna come over Friday?

yourusername: Lock it in! Friday, date night haha!

LuckyArrow: Haha...😅

yourusername: Are you sure you're okay?

LuckyArrow: I'm not good this...but, I'm not asking you to just come over as a friend..😅

yourusername: Kate, are you asking me out on a date?

LuckyArrow: I am...we don't have to do something so causal, in fact I'd like to take you out on a real date but I don't want to scare you off or make things awkward between us..

yourusername: Oh thank god! Honeslty, I'm so glad you asked because I've really wanted to ask you out but I also didn't want to ruin anything

LuckyArrow: Well now that makes me feel a lot better! How about I pick you up at 6pm on Friday?

yourusername: it's a date! x

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @kiwiana145  | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok |  @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @musicinourlips | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | 

[ninetqs]

it is interesting to see how much charles has grown from 2019 to 2022, and then from 2022 to 2024. it was evident in 2022 that he carried the weight and the burden and took everything—including every criticism—to heart, which was understandable considering the immense pressure he was under that year. but now i’d say he’s learned how to handle that pressure with grace. he’s grown confident enough to show both his whimsy and his bitchy sides and manages himself so much better that even we have grown confidence in him and in the team, so much so that even after a meh weekend, we’re confident that charles will reset immediately and do his best to be in a better form in the next weekend. it’s just nice to see this growth because it assures you that he’s not done growing yet. he’s already this well-rounded but he’s not done improving, not done growing. i love you little mouse…

i don't want to blame charles' 2022 depression on only his own performance because he was basically being psychologically tortured by his own team but i agree he has mentally grown a lot since then. like you say nowadays we never worry about whether he will carry his regrets from last weekend over to the next one and i think that's beautiful considering the horrors we (him, you, me) experienced previously!! granted he was very much like this earlier in his career as well but i think there was a period of time between 2022 and mid-2023 where his failures seemed to affect him more than they do now

you put into words exactly how i feel re: his growth and why i keep telling people to not worry so much about his future. unless he undergoes a major personality change and forgets how to drive there's no reason to believe he will abruptly begin flopping and be unable to take advantage of a good car

[batsplat]

I just listened to the podcast with frankie carchedi from earlier this season and one thing he mentions is that he is weak at qualifying. Seems like there is a lot of tiny reasons building up to a lot behind the qualifying issues, like trying to tune the bike to marc's riding (the brakes they mentioned fixing) + marc still trying to understand the bike (looks better and better everyday) + aligning with a satellite team's limitation of understanding and setting up a bike quickly over a weekend + not being able to use other's data due to the spec difference

Is it right then for us to expect marc to adapt to the gp25 quicker and be ready to go from race 2? since it would be a factory set up with extensive resources and data ( but then I look at enea's qualifying)

How much should we be hedging bets?

yeah like I said, I'm open to his current struggles being down to some combination of external factors. there clearly is something about their working process right now that's a little bit funky - though ofc there's also no rule that you automatically get a satellite qualifying tax, otherwise surely the current best qualifier wouldn't be in a satellite team. also, the reason I think it's worth highlighting the teammate comparison is...... well, a lot of these things will be true of his teammate too, yeah? idk, I think personally I don't quite find all the mitigating factors satisfactory, I do feel like his risk/reward calculation in those specific sessions feels a bit. meh... but also, like. who knows. as I said in that post, the entire problem is that a lot of time in motorsports, you don't know. marc's fans obviously pay the most attention to him, which makes them highly aware of any and all performance-affecting issues, but of course a lot of riders will from weekend to weekend be dealing with some kind of issue that's making their lives harder. from the outside, you sometimes have to throw up your hands and acknowledge you simply do not know

which is also true of next year. I don't think there's currently any reason to conclude that his qualifying won't be fixed. which, by the way, doesn't mean I'm not still interested in the h2h - pecco's a very strong qualifier, and it has just been a long long time since marc's had a competitive teammate in general. you'd expect the adaptation process to be quicker, but it's worth pointing out that marc still has to adapt to a new team, new crew chief and all that. broadly speaking I'd still expect a rider of his calibre in that situation to be ready to go from day one, however. it's not any cause for hedge betting (if your expectations for next season are 'marc will win the title', not 'marc will dominate the whole season and win the title by five million points'). and also like... luckily, qualifying still isn't the be all and end all in this sport... it's just worth keeping an eye on, y'know. bastianini is not a good point of reference lol, he's the one where realising he was on average qualifying worse than marc (and the two aprilias) made me go 'hm'. (despite his reputation for being a poor qualifier, I suppose his existence is useful in showing what a superb job jorge and pecco are doing in being extremely consistent with their qualifying.) with marc, he has a very strong track record as a qualifier so like... we know he can do it. but we still don't know whether he will do it. that's the joy of following sports live, sometimes you just have to take things as they come

[l-norris]

The summerbreak is over and the Dutch GP is underway!

Honestly, I can feel the years subtracted of my life already, heh.

DISCLAIMER: Remember that this is just for shits and giggles, I'm not trying to actually hate on any of the drivers cuz all (most) of them are very dear to me!

As always - numbers in brackets = lap numbers

- Formation lap is on

- Welcome back to F1, where your hairs grey in a matter of seconds

- Mom I'm scared

- it fuckem wimdy

- heart rate through the roof, anxiety growing

- Lando don't bottle the start please🙏🏻

- It's lights out and away we go!

- ... UGHHH

- death, taxes, Lando bottling the start

- (not actually him but more like the car)

- Didn't even make it to the first turn this time

- 'Red Bull aren't fast' MY ASS

- To be fair Oscar's start was also kinda meh

- so much wheelspin

- Kevin locks up on lap 1 too

- Max pulls away (8)

- "Lando who are we racing?" Uuuuuh... everyone??

- Some battling and overtaking from Lewis (10)

- Spicy battle between Carlos and Pierre (11)

- "We are on Plan A"

- FERRARI🤨

- Just a quick note that Lando actually keeps up with Max

- Alex pits (13)

- Lando in DRS window

- Lewis is on the chase (16)

- It's getting spicy up front

- Boys. Behave.

- "There are no smiles on the Red Bull pit wall. Only grimaces." Good!

- Lando overtakes Max! (18)

- Masterpiece of an overtake

- Guanyu pits (20)

- Lando pulls away (21)

- Wind is picking up

- Bro I was looking away for two minutes and Lando is 3 seconds ahead??

- Lewis pits (24)

- Charles pits (25)

- George pits (26)

- Ferrari got their shit together also?

- rare Ferrari W

- Max pits (28)

- makes me nervous

- Lando pits (28)

- left front issue😀

- But he overcuts Max!

- Sheer, dumb luck, McLaren. Sheer, dumb luck.

- We currently have a McLaren 1-2

- Lando fastest lap (32)

- Only three people left who haven't pitted yet

- Hello McLaren? Are you gonna pit Oscar anytime soon?

- Now's the time (34)

- Charles is third in THAT SHITBOX?!

- Pierre unsafe release

- Lando is now 8 seconds ahead of Max (36)

- Lance speeding in pitlane

- Lando is now 9 seconde ahead of Max (38)

- Pre-Miami me would have an aneurysm

- Lance 5-second-penalty

- Oscar is in George's rear

- GET HIM!

- Oscar is now fourth

- Lando is now 10 seconds ahead of Max (40)

-Kevin gets OBLITERATED by MULTIPLE cars

- Alex is almost in the points

- Why is Max gaining all of a sudden

- Nevermind just a moment of weakness I guess

- Lando is now 11 seconds ahead of Max (44)

- Sorry I'll stop lmao

- Oscar is chasing down Charles

- While Carlos is stuck behind Checo

- Why are McLaren so positive that a Safety Car will come out (47)

- There hasn't been a single yellow flag or retirement so far what are you lot planning

- Carlos finally passes Checo

- Lewis pits (49)

- I know I said I'd stop but 13 SECOND LEAD?? INSANE (51)

- Bro's gonna be a whole pitstop ahead at the end of this

- Very demure. Very mindful.

- A few pitstops happen (54)

- 15 laps to go

- Nothing is happening (59)

- Rare Lando footage on Live TV (62)

- Lewis P14 to P8 btw

- Ferrari flop era is no more

- Fernando passes Nico (64)

- The rookie is in the points now

- Quick update: 18 seconds gap between Lando and Max (66)

- You're doing amazing sweetie

- Nor Ver Lec Podium looking real nice rn (67)

- 5 laps to go!

- Dead silence in the McLaren garage

- 20 SECOND LEAD NOW HOLY SHIT

- 3 laps to go!

- LET'S GO LANDO!

- FINAL LAP!

- RAAAAAAAAAAAH

- 21 SECONDS NOW

- ANY SECOND NOW!

- HE WINS IT!

- SECOND WIN FOR LANDO NORRIS

- POLE, WIN, FASTEST LAP AND DRIVER OF THE DAY!

- GRAND. SLAM.

- He's very calm, very collected.

- Weekend saved, thanks Lando👍🏻

- Also Charles is back on the podium

- No more 'Terrible day for Tifosi'

- CHAMPAGNE POP!

What. A. Race.

Awesome way to start back into the second half of the season. I'm on an all-time high right now, hahaha. Really happy for Lando, and also happy for Charles to be back on the podium!

[resi4skz]

Is it that time again? Yes it is. Here's another drabble I wrote. Lemme know if you want a part 2 :p

Pairing: ChanxReader

Title: Miroh Club

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we should," he takes a deep breath before looking in my eyes, "break up."

I blink at my boyfriend, Ben. "Where is this coming from?"

"Y/N, I can't keep doing this anymore."

"Do what exactly?"

"This!" He gestures between us two. "I can't keep on pretending that there is anything between us anymore. It's getting too tiring. I can't deal with you and your friends anymore."

So this was about him. This was always about him, my best friend since we were in diapers. Chan was the one person I won't let go, regardless of who I dated. "Okay."

Ben links in surprise. "Okay?"

"Yeah." I start to gather my things to put in my bag.

"So that's it?"

I look at him, zipping my bag. "Yup." I sling the bag over my shoulder.

"You're not even going to fight for us?"

I laugh. "You're funny, Ben. The minute my friends or anyone I care for came between us, it was always you that wanted me to leave them. It was always YOU." I point to him and walk to his apartment door. "I can't believe I wasted a year on you."

As the door closes, I half expected him to come running after me but that moment never came. I shoot a quick text to Chan.

Y/n: Where are you?

C: just finished gym so heading home, whats up?

Y/n: Can i come over?

C: yeah. Everything okay?

I don't even bother replying to him. I quickly reach my car, start the ignition and drive. I don't know why I was a crying mess by the time I parked in his driveway. And as I stood in front of the door, I rang the doorbell. But it wasn't who I was expecting to be standing behind it.

"Oh, hey!" Han, one of the roomates and very close friend of Chan. "I was just leaving to spend the weekend at Luna's."

Oh did I mention he's also dating my other best friend/roommate?

"Hannie, you know she loves coffee right?"

"Yeah?" He blinks at me, confused.

"And you know she loves sweet treats, right?"

"Are you saying I should stop by a bakery on the way?" He asks.

"That would be a wise choice," I give him a small smile as he grabs his keys and sprints to his car. I hear the engine revving as I see Chan walking towards me.

"Did Han leave?"

"Yeah."

He then looks at me, his eyes softening. "Babygirl, come here." He holds out his arms, and fresh tears fall down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around his back, sobbing into his chest. "It's okay. Let it out."

"I don't even know why I'm crying."

"Your feelings are valid," he gently pats my back. "Tell me all about it."

So I do. I tell him how Ben broke up with me for having friends that are boys. And how he was jealous of Chan. "Me?" Chan asks, munching on potato chips as we sat in the living room watching Harry Potter.

"Yeah," I scoff, reaching for a can of soda. "It's not like I'm not the only woman in the world to have so many guy friends. He didn't like how I always shared everything with you. I can't help it that we've been friends since we were in diapers."

"Where do you even find this dude?"

"Ugh," I groan. "I deleted tinder. No more dating apps."

He laughs. "Hey, in all fairness, it's his loss."

"Meh, he wasn't really my type anyway," I stated.

"And yet you dated him for 1 whole year." He laughs when I playfully hit his arm. "Hey, would you wanna hang out with the boys and I tonight? We're going to Miroh club."

I gasp. "How on earth did you manage to get in? It's impossible to even get in line."

He chuckles, as Harry finally spits out the golden snitch on the screen. "I have my ways."

----------------------------------------------------------

"Holy shit," I stare in awe as Chan and I walk inside Miroh club. It's already getting filled with people, and with the music echoing inside, there's a reason why this club is so popular. A lot of famous artists are known to visit it but tonight it's just the boys, who I see from afar and wave at Luna, who's currently sitting on Han's lap. That woman is whipped and Han is no better. But I'm happy for them.

"I'll grab you a drink and meet you there," Chan states and disappears in the crowd as I walk over to the VIP lounge. Jesus, how did Chan do this? "Hey," I say to Luna and the boys.

"Hey, you," Luna says, hopping off of Han's lap and sitting beside me. "I heard about you and Ben."

I wave my hand. "He's not important."

"Well, how about him?" She asks, gesturing towards Chan.

I whip my head towards him, chatting with someone. "Girl, be for real. He's my best friend."

"So? He's had a thing for you all these years."

"Wait, what?" I snap my head at her.

"Oh," she laughs, covering her mouth. "You didn't know? Why do you think he took his morning classes and studied his ass off so he could hang out with you at night? Why do you think you're the only one that knows the password to his laptop? And why do you think that girl is about to give him his number?"

I snap my back towards him again. The girl that Luna was talking was currently leaning against the bar, touching his arm. Sudden fury and rage flowed through my veins and I didn't know why. "And by the looks of it, I'd say you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Mmhmm, sure you're not." She elbows me. "Tell me, are you thinking about punching that girl?"

"No." Lie.

"Okay. Are you thinking about what if he takes her number and they start dating, he wouldn't have time for you like he does now?"

"No." More lies.

"Are you thinking of stomping your way there and.....kissing him?"

"What? No!" But every fibre of my being, I wanted to walk over to him and drag him out the bar and.....

"Girl, stop denying your feelings and go get him before it's too late."

I wasn't going to lie to myself. I did have a tiny crush in high school but it soon died when we became college students. Then once we graduated and landed pretty nice jobs, I made myself busy running my bakery with Luna. "Oh, there they go on the dance floor."

I blink back to reality and watch as Chan and girl he was talking to make their way to the dance floor. The girl immediately starts dancing really close to him, seductively as he reciprocates the moves. Closing my eyes, I try to control the jealousy I was feeling but open them again to see her grinding her hips against him.

Marching my way to them, my heels clicking against the floor. My mission was to rip her hands off him. "Get your hands off him." The music was too loud for them to even acknowledge me.

Okay. This is how she wants to play? Fine. I can play that game too. I grab her arm and pry it off him. She staggers back, looking at me. "What the fuck?!"

"Back off," I yell and I grab his hand, making our way through the crowd towards the exit. I caught a glimpse of Luna swaying her hips against Han. Okay that's an image I won't be able to forget for a long time.

Once outside, the cool crisp night air feels refreshing as he yanks his arm back when we're about half a block away. "Y/N, what the fuck?"

"Did you really have to pick her?"

"Y/N, she came on to me!"

I scoff. "Didn't look like it from where I was standing."

He blinks before laughing. "By any chance," he takes a step closer to me, "are you jealous?"

My cheeks heat and scoff. "In your dreams, pal."

He laughs as he takes another step forward till we're face to face. "It's okay to be jealous sometimes."

"I told you," I snarled through my teeth as I glanced up at him. "I'm not jealous."

Then he cups my cheeks and leans in, glancing up to my eyes. "Not even now?" He whispers.

From being this close to him, I could smell his vanilla scent, going up my nostrils and igniting a fire within me. "No."

He then leans much closer till our lips are almost touching. "Now?"

My body acts faster than my mind. "Shut up and kiss me." I wrap my arms around his neck, bring him down on my lips as his arms slide around my waist. Fuck me, he even tastes divine. Why I never told him about my feelings back then is beyond me. He turns my whole body and backs me up till my back hits a brick wall. He moans into the kiss, his hands cupping my ass cheeks and giving them a tight squeeze.

"Fuck, Y/N. What took you so long?" He breathes against my mouth.

I giggle, threading my hand through his black hair. "Is it wrong to say that I want to ditch the party and have a party of our own at your place?"

He growls at my request and attacks my jaw and neck with butterflies kisses. "Chan, please. There are people around."

"I don't give a fuck."

I gasp at his choice of words coming out of his mouth. "Then," I groan as he sucked and licked at a certain spot on my neck, which would turn into purple soon. "Take me home. Because I want you, Chan."

He slowly back up, his lips swollen and his eyes filled with lust. "Fuck. We're going home."

"Which one?"

"Mine," he growls the word as his brown eyes stared into mine, the heat travelling between my legs. "Because when you scream my name, it's going to be on my bed."

[nicistrying]

Sat 27th April

Well I made it to the weekend although yesterday at work was kind of rough just purely from an anxiety point of view

Got up early to walk Maggie, I needed to get outside. Was a beautiful morning but still v chilly

Matt's mam text him at 7.30am asking to meet us for a walk. I said please no, I've set myself a boundary that I just want one fucking quiet weekend. But they did need to drop his bday presents off. Turned out later that they couldn't meet us for a walk as they needed to help a friend get a tractor out of the mud, thank god, but they came round to 'drop the presents off' and they were here for over an hour. Interrograting about the wedding, wanting us to invite more of their family as a couple of people can't make it etc , bearing in mind I have already ordered place settings and am about to order the table plan so I don't want the guest list to change. Matt said we may invite my maid of honour's parents and his mam came back with 'well they're not really important are they' like excuse me they literally took me in when my mam kicked me out at 16. They took such good care of me when I was in a shitty place. Fuck you 'they're not important'. Now I want to invite them just out of spite.

So that pissed me off straight away. Then it was 'let's get these pies in your freezer, oh god your freezer is so disorganised, the whole thing needs sorted out' like ok i'm sorry I didn't have time to reorganise the fucking freezer on my cleaning spree before you arrived, trying to not give you anything about the house to complain about.

'When are you going to do the escape room with your brothers why are you so disorganised' we're fucking busy! In the next 2 months, we have 3 weekends free and that's before Matt takes his shifts at work for June.

Like please, make me feel even more shit! Please do that! I really need that right now! Just say one fucking nice thing, would that actually kill you?? I complimented his mam's hair and she just went 'meh I don't like it they cut it too short' Just say thank you! Jesus christ

I'm seriously losing patience with them. They seem so pissed that we actually spend time with my family occasionally, as if we should spend every spare second with them. Like no, there are two people in this relationship and we both have family to see. Our entire existence does not revolve around you

Had a nap when they left (it was 11am lmao) and we went for a walk in a park where we used to live and it was lovely and nostalgic. Pets' Corner was open so we went to see the animals - billy goats, pygmy goats, ducks, rabbits, guinea pigs, guinea fowl, lots of sweet little birds, and a beautiful peacock and peahen. This dude was looking particularly handsome today

We got ice creams, and had a lovely walk. I started getting mega anxious on the way back to the car thinking wtf am I going to do when we get home and Matt has to go work on his assignment.. turns out I'm sitting in my pyjamas feeling gross and irritable and sad. He wants us both to go walk Mags but I need to just sit here and decompress I think

[soullikethesea]

Negative

Currently I feel a bit ashamed and disabled. I'm definitely in a burnout-type of state. Actively tired/brain foggy, feeling weird and having body aches.

Finally someone came to give the window a temporary update so that it can be opened. I don't feel happy about this??? It just feels foreign and scary. And the whole process has been so so triggering.

I got apologies three times this week, from the people involved.

And somehow that just makes it hurt more. I fucking predicted this situation and I tried everything in my power to get it fixed and it still took more than 6 months. It reminds me so much of being with my father.

He never apologized to me, of course. Or, well, one time when he was two hours late to come get me and I broke my collar bone. He still says that it was his fault. And yet his guilt and apologies do not make me feel better either. I may be broken.

The landlord stuff just makes me want to cry. It also reminds me of when I got bullied in school and I felt increasingly broken. I am missing a key-component of being human: the ability to protect myself, to show my teeth. Sometimes it feels like I don't have claws, I don't have teeth like other people do.

So even today, I befriended the handyman that neglected me. It's survival 101, isn't it? Befriend your enemy, make them care about you. If you cannot fight, befriend.

Fuck that shit. Fuck the migraine I got, fuck the changes I seem to take so hard, like the new supervisor at work. And even the window now being openable feels so Wrong. I may be autistic after all, or just traumatized, or just weird. Who even knows at this point... I wish I could talk to T, but I also don't, because I have no energy left to explain myself and guide other people towards being helpful.

I also had a low-key job interview thing going, where they forgot to call me - TWICE. I literally got stood up twice. And yes, they apologized as well. It just... it feels bad. I don't know if I'm responding in the right ways so that there is less of a chance of it happening again.

My colleague also left a ton of work to me, without asking me if I'd be OK with it. It's probably not on purpose, but that's another meh thing.

Well, I'll be fine. It seems like all of this is this level of overwhelming just because I did too many things last weekend! And that's another thing I feel pissed about. I wish I could be like a normal person and I could do things without becoming *this* exhausted. I keep comparing myself to some autistic friends I have and they are able to do so much more and it feels a little unfair sometimes. That's what makes me feel so disabled. I hate that I'm stuck within myself. I'll make the most of it, but I can't escape needing to accommodate myself and skipping out on a lot of normal/fun experiences.

Quite a few people have been asking me why I'm not doing a PhD and well, there it is. I'd need so many accommodations that it really isn't realistic. I'm not cut-out for that workload.

So here I am, listening to ASMR for some hours lying under a blanket on my carpet. Lucky that I can do something like that. Worrying a bit about how I'm going to cope without exercizing, since I found out that I injured myself last week. Ironically, I injured myself while doing PT exercises..!

When I forced myself to go into work again last night, it was like a switch flipped and I was completely fine. I liked how it felt, that I could be functional in that moment, but it does also sound a bit like dissociation...

[thessalian]

Thess vs All Those Damn Games

Like I said, I am very much intending on weeding through the unplayed games in my Steam library the next little while. ...Okay, at least partly because there are more games I intend on buying Real Soon Now (TM) and I'd rather know which of the ones in my ever-expanding library are ones I can't play, don't like, or will explore further, maybe, if I feel like it. Which is why I've added a new Steam collection to my library - it is titled "Meh". It's for games I don't hate but which aren't a priority, either because slightly dicky controls (but not enough to stick them in the "Nope" collection), frustrating in some other way, or just not really my thing. I've actually got through a fair few now. Shame a fair few ended up in the "Meh" collection, though some got into one I just titled "A Further Look", which is for games that I like but don't need to keep playing right now. (Yes, I am getting obsessively organised. I just don't like going through my list not remembering if I played that or what I thought of it when I did. So there you go.)

The Witch of Fern Island: I liked it until I got to the town hub. It's a bit large for my tastes. In a farming / life sim, I don't want to spend half my time wandering around town searching for people. It's way easier in places like Stardew Valley or Wylde Flowers. I think these guys got too ambitious. Into the "Meh" pile with you.

Syberia: ...Won't work if you have dual screens and/or aren't at really low resolutions. You are hereby banished to NOPE.

Nanotale: How come a fucking typing game ends up in my Favourites? Don't I do enough of that at work?!?

West of Loathing: Okay, this one's just fun. That one's a thanks to my friend Brian for a) introducing me to this and b) I think throwing them at my head the other Christmas.

Deponia: ...When I get frustrated at the puzzles and really dislike the main character? Meh.

Dordogne: This one's cute. The mechanics are a little fiddly, though. It's in the "A Further Look" collection now.

Raji - An Ancient Epic: This one's great, but a little fiddly for everyday. So into the "A Further Look" collection it goes.

Citizen Sleeper: Looks interesting but I can't deal with Crapsack Future right now - the present's bad enough. Into "A Further Look" with you.

Sort of out of order, but whatever. Also I have a couple of more to add to the list, because I got into a conversation with somebody on Reddit where I recommended them Spiritfarer and they recommended me some interactive story where the first chapter's free so I should have a look at that.

Meantime, I have to go out and do errands. And Stuff. Lots of Stuff. I'm honestly just glad it's the weekend, and that next week's my last work week before a much-needed week off. I can weed through more of the unplayed games in my library, and probably do more errands but we won't think about that just at the moment. I just want some damn relaxation for once.

[f0point5]

I started watching f1 last year when Imola got cancelled (that was going to be the first race I would've watched) and I remember that even back then I already saw memes about Max winning all the time, the Max Verstappen podcast etc. Monaco quali was insane and then I became a Max fan right after Spain. And I just really fucking miss Rocky. I'm so with you on the preference of the 30 sec gap, bc I already know he's capable of fighting it out so now I just want him to chill each weekend and joke about pit stop trainings, actually pit on the last few laps for fastest lap only, get fastest lap on very used tyres etc.

I know I'm not an old fan, so I don't have a lot of experience with the sport tbh, I did watch some from the previous years but like I genuinely don't get people who can't enjoy when someone dominates so beautifully and actually performs perfectly. It's not boring, it's legendary and it's beautiful. And I feel lucky I got to experience that season in real time. Sorry for the rant this is kinda off topic, like just out of the blue but I'm still not over Miami and Imola was just shit and I'm in the feels about missing Rocky:(( I just knew I could rant to you because you get it 😂 (I kinda think we agonize over this more than Max himself but whatever. It's important TO ME)

Rocky was a legend. Honestly as someone who’s been watching a while I fully forgot 2022 the second 2023 started and I’m still thinking about it. That season was EVERYTHING. You picked the worst season to get in because I’m not sure we’ll ever see another one like that. It’s like 2021 level epic except it was actually fun to be a Red Bull fan.

Bring back pitting for softs. Bring back holding up 9 fingers at Zandvoort. Bring back “so what he takes a gearbox penalty he’ll be leading by lap 6”. I even miss Perez’s shit qualifying -> dotd shenanigans. 2023 was special.

I get why people don’t enjoy it, it just depends what excites you about racing. I’m the kind of person who gets excited by seeing how close you can get to perfection. Some people are excited by the fight. People like different parts of the sport I guess.

But then I guess if it’s not your favourite team dominating it’s a bit meh. Like I always appreciated Merc dominance but I was praying for their downfall and looking forward to the odd race where Max would win.

But yeah 2023 SEASONED. This season is not seasoning idc who says it is

[alexalblondo]

As a person who has read all the unrecommended books and feels a bit attacked rn lmao:

-the poppy war series is my favourite series of all time but there are 1000 reasons why one might not like it and i don't know you well enough to judge

-acotar.... listen they are not good but most people will have a great time reading them. Definitely entertaining and can be a bit addicting. I will unfortunately read the next one once that comes out and i will probably enjoy it. Has led to some of the funniest conversations I've ever had with my friends who have also read it

-bridgerton: i had a phase where i read one of those books a day, i was addicted. Ranges from "worst thing i have ever read" (book 4) to "one of my favourite romance books" (book 5) with a whole lot of meh in the middle. Honestly don't recommend opening that can of worms...

Now for my own unrecomendation: off campus by elle kennedy. I can't remember which one i read but it's a close second to the worst book i've ever read, bridgerton book 4, "to sir phillip with love"

Oh no, I am sorry you feel attacked :(

also I haven't actually read The poppy wars but Mal told me not to read it and she IS a huge part of my impulse control so yeah ... but maybe I will look into it at this point I am really curious to give my own take

and I will maybe ... possibly ... at least watch all those videos on ACOTAR on the weekend if I find the time

as for bridgerton there are some that interest me more based on summery but honestly I could not get into the witing style idk idk but also "to sir phillip with love" already sounds awful just by title

AND OMG, not off campus, scream, fun fact I read the first three books during covid ... 50% cause I thought the dude from book 4 would turn out gay and then found out he wasn't and yeah ... they are so bad and I am still sore like all these girls are so not like other girls it hurts my soul

[cats-inthe-cradle]

5, 8, 15, 21, and 40!

Hi Grace! Thanks for the ask :D

5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Sometimes! Tho not so much recently, I sleep with my cat Misty instead <3

8. What’s your favorite band/artist? 

I don't really have one? Idk I'm not, like, the most musically minded? If that makes sense? I've never been good about remembering artists n stuff. Basically if I like a song I'll listen to it and/or add it to one of my many playlists I have for stories/characters :D

If you've got any suggestions tho I'd love to hear 'em, I'm always looking for new stuff to listen to 👀

15. What’s your favorite season? 

Spring! The tempature's perfect, everything's always so green, we get some of the BEST thunderstorms where we live (and it's always really windy, which is an added bonus, I love the wind), it's when all the baby cows are born so whenever we drive somewhere we get to see all the little calves out in the fields, and I always have more energy in the Spring! (Apparently there's this weird phenomenon for POTS patients where our symptoms get overall worse in the fall/winter, so I always feel better in the spring).

Anyways yeah, I love Spring

21. How was your day today? 

Honestly? Not the best. I didn't really get enough sleep last night so I've had a headache most of the day, and I've just been really tired this whole week. Also writing & arting & storying in general has Not been cooperating (probably because my brain is tired) so yeah. BUT! Hopefully the weekend will be better :D I've got plans to go see the new spider-verse movie with my friend on Saturday, so I'm really excited for that!

And yknow? Most days are meh for me. I've got a chronic illness that sucks and I'm running on Not Enough Energy pretty much all the time. But I've learned to appreciate the small moments, and that helps a lot. 'Cuz even if most days are just meh (or worse) there's still a lot of good moments in them that more than makes up for it. So even tho physically I've been kinda miserable all day, I'm happy. I got to binge some rottmnt with my brother (soon I will introduce him to my aus >:), I played some minecraft, I listened to music, I played with my cat, I read some good fanfic, I'm messing around on tumblr at 3am

So really, looking back on the emotional aspects of today? It's actually been a good day. Maybe not an amazing, or memorable, or significant day. But still a good one, and that's enough.

Even if I still have a headache shdhd

40. Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

I love the beach!!! So much. It's one of my favorite places. One of my favorite things about it is being able to see forever. And, hmmmm it'd probably depends on if I wanna go swimming or not. Actually, I'd still go swimming if it was cloudy (and have actually) as long as it's not too cold. So really I don't have much of a preference? If I'm at the beach at all I'll be happy. I like when it's clear so I can see forever tho, but I also like I when it's cloudy and rainy in general, so.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

hey what do you think about Jk's last live?

Hi! I wasn't going to reply until I watched the live but I felt bad for making you wait, so here I am. I haven't watched the live yet. I still have to watch the first one with subtitles and Weverse doesn't even work for me. I've seen the translations, but I might not watch the live this weekend or any time soon. I can't even find his first live on YT. I watched most of the first and the entire of the second parts of his first live on YT, but I haven't even seen the IG live with V. I've listened to his covers, though, and read the translation of what he said which are, to me, the most important parts. I fear I might be bored by his last live since he mostly just eats, plays with Bam and watches TV. Like, I'm vegan and he was eating chicken, and I also suspect I would feel just that strange disconnect from Jungkook as a person that I'm experiencing now. I can still connect to his voice and my memories of him, but chapter 2 Jungkook is not "my" Jungkook. Don't take that the wrong way" There have been multiple times where I felt distant from the members and then closer again. I feel a bit distant right now from Jungkook, Jin (before enlistment), and Suga, and they're my bias line. I probably feel closer to RM right now and he was always a member I struggled to truly connect with. I also have periods of being "meh" (not actually meh at all, obviously) about Jimin and periods of thinking he's love personified (right now, for example). Relationships are always changing, even those between fan and artist. I connect to BTS the most through music and performance so when the members aren't active or just doing variety stuff I don't care for, I feel a certain distance. In Jungkook's case, I really do think he's visibly changed, looks and personality wise, and l haven't had the chance to process it. If he were active right now, I probably would've had (eg.: I felt entirely "connected" to him during his Dreamers stage). But now we have few behind the scenes footage, interviews, fancams, or other types of content we used to take for granted so chapter 2 Jungkook still feels like a mystery to me, though no one else seems share my thoughts.

I'm rambling... When I watch the live I'll make a lengthy post about it, don't worry haha, but thanks a lot for wanting my opinion! If you don't mind sharing, I really wanna know what you thought about his last live (and his first) and about all I've been saying.

[tasteleeknow]

is there a fic or something you’ve written that YOU believe is your best work yet like the best piece you feel like you’ve ever written but it didn’t get as much attention as you anticipated? and is there a post that you didn’t try as much on but the amount of attention it got still shocks you ?? 😅😅

I don’t write fics but I know I get sooo mad when in school i have to write papers & the papers I don’t try very hard on & write in a few hours do WAYY better than the papers I take hours or even days writing 🙄🙄🙄. Just recently I got an A+ on my final report that I did an hour before it was due while another paper that I wrote for a different class & actually tried on (spent DAYYSSSS writing) I received a D- 😭.

Sorry for the little rant but I’m genuinely curious LOL

the amount of work and time i put into writing has ZERO impact on how 'well' it does lmao for sure. hello stranger is my first series and i have a document of thousands of words with tables all full of character building and planning and it's... so much work. the chapters get like 500 notes maybe compared to one shots which usually get between 1 to 4k. i don't actually mind though bc i get way more feedback on the series. like ppl put essays in their reblogs and send me messages and all that. i care more about that than the notes, especially because the majority of notes are likes.

i actually tend to find the things that don't get flooded with likes have more ppl who will message me personally and be really passionate about it. i wrote a fairy!au that didn't do as well as most of my other minho one shots but i had ppl making moodboards for it and edits and all of that. which again, i appreciate more than likes.

koala still has the most notes and its one of the first things i wrote so i KNOW the quality of the writing is worse. also when i posted it i was convinced ppl would hate it like i was ready to hit delete. after that did so well i've just been like no fear tbh like how i feel about something seems to say nothing abt how others will feel. i just post and vibe.

i really don't think there has been anything i've posted where i was disappointed in the amount of attention it got. maybe aftercare with minho ?? it's a drabble but it had a label put on it literally 2 minutes after i posted it so it got very little exposure. i really am just grateful in general like my writing gets a lot more eyes on it than i ever would have expected so i really feel like i have nothing to complain about. i do just wish more of the eyes were... active rather than ya know silent/passive.

lmao in school i literally did everything at the very last second. i had a very severe undiagnosed case of adhd and was really just coasting the entire time. i remember having to convince teachers id hand something in and then just keep stalling until they actually just gave up or forgot about it. then there was like ONE TIME for some reason i really clicked with the content, it was a maths assignment and it was satisfying to my brain, so i spent a week on it and ended up helping a bunch of my class with it at the public library on the weekend and i got the highest mark possible and then never did it again. no lessons learned just 'well thats nice moving on'. but in uni when i was forced to actually do the work the assignments where i started earlier and tried harder did meh and the ones i didn't at all did well. so yeah, i get it. D- on something you'd worked so hard on..... i'd lose it hfjdsk i remember once handing something in that i'd worked harder on than anything else in my entire uni life and i barely passed and i was like yeah never trying again. and i didn't. and everything was fine. what's the lesson?? idk trying is overrated just vibe gfhdjs

sorry for MY rant hjds

[aurorathedragon45]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

It's complicated

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Boyfriend

03: Do you regret anything?

I regret uhhh too many things to list

04: Are you insecure?

Cripplingly

05: What is your relationship status?

Taken :3

06: How do you want to die?

Either painlessly or in the mosf painful way possible. Let me say goodbye to the people i love first

07: What did you last eat?

Fried bananas!

08: Played any sports?

Nah

09: Do you bite your nails?

Not anymore

10: When was your last physical fight?

Never. I've never physically fought anyone

11: Do you like someone?

My boyfriend :3

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I don't think so

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Uhhh meh, a couple of rude kids at my school

14: Do you miss someone?

My boyfriend 😔

15: Have any pets?

Yep! 2 dogs, a cat, a sugar glider, and 3 chickens

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I'm feeling alright.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nah I've never made out in general

18: Are you scared of spiders?

I love spiders :(

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Maybe..

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

What's snogging oh wait I looked it up. I haven't. (my boyfriend doesn't even live in the same state, dammit)

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Homework

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

2 kids, a boy and a girl :3

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Nah, don't like piercings

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Art :D

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

My leopard gecko, Sunny

26: What are you craving right now?

Boba milk tea

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Not that I know of, no

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope :>

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Not that I'm aware of

30: What’s irritating you right now?

It's that time of the month :[

31: Does somebody love you?

Mhm! And I'm very grateful

32: What is your favourite color?

Used to be pink, now its green (thanks alterhumanity)

33: Do you have trust issues?

Yeah

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Several people

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

In person? My english teacher. Across the screen while chatting with someone?? I don't remember, i've done it so many times

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yeah,

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

In some ways yes, in others no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Haven't kissed anyone yet

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Not that I remember

51: Favourite food?

Uh sushi ig

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Sometimes

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Scrolled tumblr

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No. If you aren't satisfied with the relationship and want to move on, just talk with the opposite party

55: Are you mean?

In my opinion, I'm a terrible person. Everyone else thinks I'm nice so its probably the depression speaking

56: How many people have you fist fought?

None

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yes :)

58: Favourite weather?

Thunderstorms/rain

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah

60: Do you wanna get married?

YES

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Only if it's my boyfriend if someone else calls me baby I'm gonna gag

62: What makes you happy?

Drawing, my boyfriend (i mention him a lot ik), dragons, witchcraft (i really wanna get more into it)

63: Would you change your name?

Nah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Haven't kissed anyone

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I'M DATING MY FORMER BEST FRIEND >:]

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yeah

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Uhhh my grandpa

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Probably my boyfriend.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Mhm!

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM- MY-

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[novel-nook-blog]

Camp nano – week 3 🪽

Monday 7/15

Today's weather is killing me! It's so hot I think my brain is boiling. Uf! BUT all in all, it was a very productive day. I had a job meeting and I've also done some work around my potential clients (this is a job offer I took just for funsies) – it's a finance job and it's so off my uni major that it makes me laugh. But when I got home I started writing right after a stand-up comedy with Matt Rife that is on netflix (why haven't I found out about this sooner?!). But tbh it was so hard to get words out of myself, I'm currently stuck at the beginning of chapter 3, the first draft version sucks (yeah, it's THAT horrible) so I'm trying to figure out a new way of writing it and it's difficult. I don't like writing beginnings, it's all about the backstory but not so much because you don't want to throw everything at once on your reader. Meh. But I have to get through it so I can get to the good parts.

Wordcount: 321

Tuesday 7/16:

What a day! I woke up super early and got right into writing. That stopped at around 300 words in... when I was inspired to cook lunch that took so long to do, as always when I'm cooking 😂. And after lunch I visited my grandparents so I got back to writing an hour ago (11 pm). Fun fact, I was carrying a book with me all day long everywhere I went and haven't read a single page 🥲.

Wordcount: 1042

Wednesday 7/17:

It's almost 11 pm and I need to write some wordsssss. Ngl I was avoiding writing today a bit. I only wrote 180 words so far and I'm so tired, but we'll see if I get it done.

It's 5 minutes before midnight and I'm done for today. I finally finished chapter 3, that makes me glad and anxious at the same time because the part I was avoiding for so long is slowly approaching. But after that dreadful part that's ahead of me, the good ones will slowly come in.

Wordcount: 1077

Thursday 7/18:

I don't think I'm going to write today. It's almost 9 pm and I'm sooo tired. I had a doctor's appointment today in a city that's kind of far away from where I live. And now, as I finally got to my bed, I just want to read for a bit, so I think I'm going to do that.

Wordcount: 0

Friday 7/19:

It's baad. It's 11 pm and an hour ago I finally got back home. Today I had a pottery date with my best friend and we spent most of the day together. I had a wonderful time! But I'm so tired to write anything so I think I'm gonna head to bed. I'm not sure how much I'm going to write on the weekend, because my mom wants to go to an aquapark. But I'll keep you updated.

Wordcount: 0

Saturday 7/20:

It's almost 1 am on a Sunday and I'm finished for today. I had a great day with a lot of swimming and sunbathing and reading. But even though I'm exhausted, I needed to write some words... I don't have as many as I need but my brain is fried and I changed a whole dialogue part I need to write now and I don't have the capacity in me to do so in this unholy hour. I need my sleep.

Wordcount: 731

Sunday 7/21:

This is THE day!! I enjoyed the sunny weather outside by the swimming pool with a good book and my laptop and I wrote 2k words! I feel like I haven't done that in a long time (and before summer break I wrote around 3k daily).

Wordcount: 2030