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im-just-trying-to-get-bi · 3 years

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Hello, everybody. Thanks for comin’. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And I’d like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you’re about to see it actually happened. Just take it from me. But there’s more to this story than what’s on the page, so please pay attention while I set the stage. We open in Thneedville, a city they say that was plastic and fake, and they liked it that way! A town without nature, not one living tree. So, what happened to them? Cue the music! Let’s see. Buzz. Buzz. ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ it’s a brand new dawn ♪ ♪ With brand new cars ♪ ♪ and houses and lawns ♪ ♪ Here in ♪ ♪ Got-all-that-we-need-ville ♪ ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ we manufacture our trees ♪ ♪ Each one is made in factories ♪ ♪ And uses 96 batteries ♪ ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ the air’s not so clean ♪ ♪ So we buy it fresh ♪ ♪ It comes out this machine! ♪ ♪ In Satisfaction’s-♪ ♪ guaranteed-ville ♪ ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ we don’t want to know ♪ ♪ Where the smog and trash ♪ ♪ and chemicals go ♪ ♪ I just went swimming, ♪ ♪ and now I glow ♪ ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ we have fun year round ♪ ♪ We surf and snowboard ♪ ♪ right in town ♪ ♪ We thank the Lord ♪ ♪ for all we’ve got ♪ ♪ Including this ♪ ♪ brand new parking lot! ♪ ♪ Parking lot! ♪ ♪ Oh, look, it’s Aloysius O’Hare ♪ ♪ Aloysius O’Hare ♪ ♪ The man who found ♪ ♪ a way to sell air ♪ ♪ And became a zillionaire ♪ ♪ Hip-hip-hooray! ♪ ♪ In Thneedville, ♪ ♪ we love living this way ♪ ♪ It’s like living in paradise ♪ ♪ It’s perfect! ♪ ♪ And that’s how it will stay ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ ♪ Here in ♪ ♪ Love-the-life-we-lead-ville ♪ ♪ Destined-to-succeed-ville ♪ ♪ We-are-all-agreed-ville ♪ ♪ We love it here in… ♪ ♪ Thneedville! ♪ Yes! Oh, hi, Ted. Oh, hey, Audrey. Hi. Did your ball land in my backyard again? What? No. A model airplane, this time. Hey, do you want to see something cool? Come on. Whoa! Did you… Did you paint this? Do you like it? What? Are you kidding? This is amazing! What are those? Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk! Wow! What does that even mean? I know, right? Oh, yeah. What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree growing in my backyard. So if, say… I’m just thinking out loud here. If a guy somehow got you one… I’d probably marry him on the spot. I bet that sounds crazy. Does that sound crazy? No! Not crazy. Not crazy at all. * * * Ted, honey, don’t play with your food. You, either, Mom. So, Mom, do you happen to know if there’s any place where I could get a real tree? Ted, we already have a tree. It’s the latest model. Yeah, but I mean a real one that grows out of the ground or whatever. You know, a real tree. Really? You would rather have some dirty, messy lump of wood that just sticks out of the ground? And it does what? I don’t even know what it does. What’s its purpose? Look at what we’ve got. It’s the Oak-amatic. The only tree with its own remote. Summer, autumn, winter, and disco! Mom? Come on, Ted. Get into it. Dance with the tree. Oh, it hurts, Mom. Please stop. So, anyway… Let’s just say I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Then you know what? You need to find the Once-ler. The What? Mom, it’s not really the time for one of your magical fables, okay? That’s right, I forgot. I’m old and can’t even remember to put my teeth in. Stand down. That’s not what I meant. No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? Sure, Mom. Okay, here’s the deal. The Once-ler is the man who knows what happened to the trees. You want one, you need to find him. The Once-ler? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Grammy, is this a real thing that we’re talking about now? Oh, he’s real all right. Well, where can I find him? Far outside of town where the grass never grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows. And no birds ever sing, excepting old crows. Quit doing that. That’s the place where the Once-ler lives. Wait, outside of town? People used to say if you brought him 15 cents, a

nail and the shell of a great, great, great grandfather snail, he would tell you everything. * * * Hmm. Mr. O’Hare, what we’ve got for you is something that is going to take O’Hare Air to the next level. Now, Mr. O’Hare, I know what you’re thinking. One, “I’ve gotten rich selling people air that’s” “fresher than the stinky stuff outside.” Two, and here is the important one, “How can I possibly make even more money?” We can tell you, sir! We can tell you. Check out this commercial, huh? Well, here goes another lame Saturday. Dude, I don’t think so! Huh! Hey! Man! Oh, yeah! What! Yeah! O’Hare purified air. Freshness to go. Please breathe responsibly. Ah? Oh, my goodness. Yeah! Love it. You got to be kidding me. You really think people are stupid enough to buy this? Our research shows that if you put something in a plastic bottle, people will buy it. Exactly. And… And what’s more, when we build a new factory to make the plastic bottles, the air quality is just going to get worse. Which will make people want our air even more, and drive sales where? Through the roof! So, in other words, the more smog in the sky, the more people will buy. See, that’s why he’s the genius! It even rhymes! I’m aware it rhymes. Coats. Big. What do you two knuckleheads want? I’m in the middle of a meeting! What? Why is he leaving town? No one ever leaves town! See what he’s up to. * * * Whoa! Huh? Whoa! Whoa. Oh, man. Whoa! All right. Okay. What the… Whoa! Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here? I’m Ted. I’m Ted. I can’t breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. Didn’t you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don’t let the boot hit you on the way out. The boot? Hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. No, no, no! Trees? Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? Hello? Sorry, it’s just… Well, I didn’t think anyone still cared about trees. Well, that’s me. The guy who still cares. I’m here. Hey! What? Do you want to know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they’re all gone? It’s because of me. Wait, what? It’s because of me! And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand. All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that’s cool. You’re darn right it was cool! It all started a long time ago. Can we start not so long ago, maybe? Do you want a tree? Yes, yes. Then it all started a long, long time ago. I was a young man leaving home… Well, here I go, Mom. Off to change the world with my Thneed. I’m actually doing it! Yes, but just remember, Oncie, if somehow your invention ends up a failure instead of a success, oh, it wouldn’t surprise me at all! Nice wheels. Burn! Ow! Yeah, “Burn!” But you will see, okay? I’m going to prove you all wrong. Come on, Melvin! So, there I was at the very bottom. With nothing but a wagon, a mule, and a completely irrational sense of optimism. I was searching the globe, obsessed with finding the perfect material for my Thneed. But I’d had absolutely no success. Until one day, I found paradise… Oh! We’re going to be there soon, I’m sure. Whoa! This is the most beautiful place, okay, I have ever seen. Oh. Ta-da! Whoa! Yeah. ♪ This is it ♪ ♪ This is the place ♪ ♪ These Truffula trees ♪ ♪ are just what I need ♪ ♪ Gonna chop one down ♪ ♪ and make my Thneed ♪ ♪ But first… ♪ ♪ Na! Na! Nanana Na! ♪ ♪ Na Na Nana Nanana Na Na… ♪ ♪ Now you! ♪ ♪ That’s great! ♪ ♪ So now our ♪ ♪ friendship can begin ♪ ♪ Hand in hand, ♪ ♪ and wing and fin ♪ ♪ There’s nothing ♪ ♪ you and I can’t do ♪ ♪ So let’s all make ♪ ♪ my dreams come true ♪ Hey, guys! Come on, where is my back-up chorus? What? Ah-ha! Oh. Ooh! Hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute. Excuse me? Yeah, that’s awesome. Feeding junk food to forest animals? That’s great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? Because I would love to hear that one. Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story, and was never heard from again. Right, got

it. Proceed. All right, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world. Check it out, guys… Where did everybody go? Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax. Hey! Whoo! Did you chop down this tree? Uh… No. Who did it? What’s that? I think he did it. Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out! And who are you? I’m the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. So you’re telling me, you just didn’t see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn’t see any of that? No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that? Uh, yeah, I could show you. But that’s not how it works. Okay. Um… Didn’t really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I’ve got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw! Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy… How dare you! Give me that! Mmm. I’m going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it. What are you… Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? What’s your deal, man? Pull them right out Time for you to go, Beanpole! Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day. Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature’s innocent creatures? What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground! Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. Shame on you. For shame! All right, you know what? That’s it! You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I’m going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. Then you leave me no choice. If you’re not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. Thanks. Yeah, okay. You have been warned. But I didn’t listen to his warning. And you won’t believe what happened that night. What? If you want to hear more, come back tomorrow. Hey, wait, wait! Tomorrow? Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho. Are you serious right now? Ah! You live in the middle of nowhere! It stinks out here. Don’t make me come back! I guess you don’t really want to hear the rest of the story. No, no. I do. I really do. I want to hear the story. I just… Nah! You don’t have what it takes. Goodbye. Wait, wait! I have what it takes. It’s all right. It’s okay, I’ll come back. It’s no problem. See, here I am, leaving. Walking away now. I’ll see you tomorrow. Mmm. Maybe. Just maybe. * * * What did you wish for, Audrey? Well, I would love to tell you, but, sadly, according to the universal wish laws, I cannot I know what she wished for. Was it, perhaps… This? Ted, you didn’t. Oh, no. I totally did. Happy birthday, Audrey. Kiss him! Kiss him! Ted. Ted. Tedster. Huh! You’re kissing the cereal again, hon. What? I just… I like this cereal. What one is this? Yeah! Okay. Well, I’ll make sure to buy extra next time for you. All right, cool. Hey, I got to run. I got to go do a thing. So, I’ll see you guys. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You’re not going anywhere, young man. It’s Sunday. You know what that means? Family time, and we’re all playing board games! But… Hmm. Mmm? Oh, man. Mom, seriously, every turn? Hey, back off! Ooh! No. Okay! Family time is over. It is now personal time. I’ll be in my room. Okay, dear. Have fun. I knew I could break her. Go. Huh? Go see him! Oh, yeah! You rule! Thank you, Grammy. * * * Whoa! Hey! Ted, right? Um, Mr. O’Hare? So, I hear you have become interested in trees. What’s that all about? Oh. Um… Where did you hear that? Oh. Teddy, there’s not much that goes on in Thneedville that I don’t know about. Here’s the deal, I make a living selling fresh air to people. Trees? They make it for free. So, when I hear people talking about them, I consider it kind of a threat to my business. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. You listen to me, boy. Don’t go poking around in things you don’t understand or I’ll be your worst nightmare. I’m Frankenstein’s head on a

spider’s body! Yeah, um… Okay, my mom is expecting me. So, I’m just going to… Of course, of course. Now, go back to your family game time. Grandma just finished her turn. How did you know? Please. I have eyes everywhere. Huh! You got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. Why, I can’t think of any reason you would ever want to go outside of town again. Even. Okay! Good talk. Really good talk. Oh, no. Look out! Hey, man? You know, you need to change that door bell. Oh, you missed me. What? You’re already back. Clearly, you missed me a little. Right? No, I didn’t. I’m just here to hear the end of the story. Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren’t you like other kids, break dancing and wearing bell-bottoms, and playing the Donkey Kongs? Yeah, right, right. I don’t know. Uh, I just thought it would be kind of cool to have one, you know? Huh? It’s a girl, isn’t it? What? No! Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that’s because he’s a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, it’s usually to impress some girl. Hey, she is not some girl! She’s a woman, in high school. And she loves trees. And I’m going to get her one. Aw! How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality. Thank you. All right, but where did we leave off? * * * Now that’s a Thneed. Nothing unmanly about knitting. No, sir. Look at that… Oh! Who taught you guys how to steal a bed? Shh! Okay, nice and easy. Nice work, you guys. Couldn’t have done it without you. You got to be kidding me. Can he swim? Of course he can’t swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I’m coming to get you! Hey, you fishies! Stop that bed! Whoo! Whoo! Jump, jump! Come on, get up there. Come on. Go, go! A little bit more! A little bit more! Now what? Mmm-mmm. Get up there. Okay, Pipsqueak, give me your hand. Come on, reach out for the Lorax. Where did you go? Bar-ba-loots. Oh, that’s bad. Hey, Beanpole, wake up! What’s happening? Where am I? Hey! We got trouble, and it’s coming up fast! Whoo! We’re in a river! Whew! Oh, no. Just do something! Help is on the way! No, no! Just a minute! Oh, no! Wake up! Wake up! Yuck! Clear! Ah! I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back and here I am! You saved my life! Yeah, I know. Well, no, it’s not that big a deal. It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! Wait… On my bed. How did my bed get in the river? Uh… About that… Actually… I put your bed in the water. I didn’t mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you’re chopping them down! So, we’ve got a big problem. All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise. Thank you. But I’m going to keep my eye on you. Good. Now, I’ve got a big day tomorrow so I’m going to get some sleep. Right after I find my bed. * * * Ow! Okay, what are you… Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are you doing here? Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep. What? Ew! Exactly. And sleeping is the body’s way of telling other people to go away. I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done. “No harm done”? “No harm done”? Okay. Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. Ew. Did you just… In my bowl! Why do you have one of these? You don’t even have a mustache. Okay, that’s it! What? I thought we made a deal last night. Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn’t chop down any more trees. And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I’m starving. What’s for breakfast? Breakfast is overrated. You know what? I got work to do. Yeah. I got to go into town and sell my Thneed. You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage? Look at that… “Garbage”? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. It has a million uses! Look at this. It’s a swimsuit! Mud tracked all over your floor by

uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! But wait, there’s more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! It also works as a hat. Of course, you probably want to wring it out first. Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing. Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo. You’re bringing a guitar? Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I’m gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah. ♪ Everybody needs a Thneed ♪ ♪ A fine thing that all people… ♪ Sit down, go on. Unfortunately, I didn’t sell it the first day. ♪ The Thneed is good ♪ ♪ The Thneed is great… ♪ Hey! Or the second day. Hey! Or the third, or fourth, or fifth day. Okay, that one hit the tender spot. Until finally… That’s it! You know what? I’m done with this thing. Aw. My family was right. I quit! Hey. Cool hat. Oh, my gosh! I totally want one. That thing makes me like you more. Hey! Where’s your Thneed, did you sell it? Hey. No, no. Didn’t sell it. Turns out, it’s ahead of its time, I guess. Hey, you gave it your best shot. Right? What more can you do? Come on, take a seat, we’ll deal you in. What are we playing? I’m playing poker. He’s playing Go Fish. And I think he’s hungry. Ohhh. ♪ Pancake, the pancake ♪ Up! Who is up for ninths? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Whoa! All right, pass them over. Yeah, see? What’s going on? Oh, no. That’s a lot of people. ♪ Everybody needs a Thneed ♪ ♪ A fine thing ♪ ♪ that all people need ♪ ♪ The Thneed is good ♪ ♪ The Thneed is great ♪ ♪ Let’s hope we’re not too late ♪ ♪ It’s a super trendy hat ♪ ♪ It’s a tightrope for an acrobat ♪ ♪ A net for catching butterflies ♪ ♪ A thing we use for exercise ♪ ♪ Everybody needs a Thneed ♪ ♪ A fine thing ♪ ♪ that all people need ♪ ♪ Everybody needs a Thneed ♪ Oh, yeah! We’re in business, baby! ♪ We need a Thneed ♪ Mom? Hey, it’s me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We’re going to be rich! What? I’m going to need all the help I can get. Don’t worry. * * * So, has he told you how to get a tree yet? Actually, no. But I think he’s going to get to that part really soon. Here we are. What? I’ll just be a minute. Oh, wow. Hey, Audrey! Oh, hi, Ted! What’s up? You know me, just cruising. Putting out the vibe. Just me and my thoughts. Oh, is this the girl you’re always talking about? Grandma! Stop making things up. She’s even prettier than… Okay, got to run! Bye. Okay, Grammy, let’s get you home! Yeah! Whoa! I’m so sorry. So sorry. Did not wanna see that. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Hey! Hey, I’m back. What have you got there? Yes! Whoa! Thank you, Ted. Now, picture this. Sun shining, a blue sky, a perfect day. It was all downhill from there. Whoa! What a dump. Hey, Aunt Grizelda! Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long! No, Brett, that’s actually not a… Okay. Go long! Go long! I got it! I got it! Got it! He totally ran into that tree! Ow! Oncie, is that you? Mom! There he is! There’s my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right? Hey! I love this guy! But you always said I wouldn’t amount to anything, remember? Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you! I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you’re all here, you all work for me, and that’s cool. So, let’s get to work. Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you stop throwing that bear? Time out. Back up. Stop. Don’t move an inch. Nobody’s moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye. So, who invited the giant, furry peanut? You calling me a peanut, huh? I’ll go right up your nose! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You wouldn’t hit a woman. That’s a woman? Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let’s not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend… Acquaintance. Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees. That’s right. And on behalf of the trees, get out! Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I’m going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay?

Bigger? Yeah, this isn’t some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It’s going to be huge! Which way does a tree fall? Uh, down? A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean. * * * I mean, look at this. It’s amazing. I am so proud of me. Oncie, we’ve got us a little problem. Problem? Mmm-hmm. See, we’re not making Thneeds fast enough. Harvesting the tufts takes too long! Well, what else can we do? Well, and this just came to me, we could always start chopping down the trees. What? Now you’re thinking. That would speed things up! But… No “but” s, Oncie. You’re running a business now. You have to do what’s best for the company, and your momma. Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to chop down a few trees. You’ve made me so proud, Oncie. Come here! Hey! I love this guy! No! No, no, no! Stop it! Please, stop. Take that, you stupid tree! Where do you think you’re going? Excuse me, sir. I need to talk with your boss. Oh, I’m sorry, but Mr. Once-ler’s not seeing anyone right now. Yeah, well, he’ll see me. So… Hey, keep your paws off me! Give me a reason, Shorty. Hey, you broke your promise. You’re better than this. You gotta stop! This is bad! Have a nice day! Bad? I’m not bad, I’m the good guy here. He just doesn’t get it. Do you think I’m bad? Thank you! I mean, something good finally happens to me, and he just has to come along and rain on my parade. What’s his problem? See? Yeah, bad! Right. ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just following my destiny ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ Well, there’s ♪ ♪ a principle in nature ♪ ♪ Principle in nature ♪ ♪ That almost ♪ ♪ every creature knows ♪ ♪ Called survival of the fittest ♪ ♪ Survival of the fittest ♪ ♪ And check it, ♪ ♪ this is how it goes ♪ ♪ The animal that wins �� ♪ gotta scratch and fight ♪ ♪ And claw and bite and punch ♪ ♪ And the animal that doesn’t ♪ ♪ Well, the animal that doesn’t ♪ ♪ Winds up someone else’s ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la lunch ♪ ♪ Munch, munch, munch, munch, ♪ ♪ munch I’m just sayin’ ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just following my destiny ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ There’s a principle in business ♪ ♪ Principle in business ♪ ♪ That everybody knows is sound ♪ ♪ It says the people with the ♪ ♪ money People with the money ♪ ♪ Make this ♪ ♪ ever-loving world go round ♪ ♪ So I’m biggering my company ♪ ♪ I’m biggering my factory ♪ ♪ I’m biggering my corporate sign ♪ ♪ Bigger, bigger! ♪ ♪ Everybody out there ♪ ♪ You take care of yours ♪ ♪ I’ll take care of ♪ ♪ mine-mine-mine-mine-mine ♪ ♪ Shake that bottom line ♪ ♪ Let me hear you ♪ ♪ say Smogulous Smoke! ♪ ♪ Smogulous Smoke! ♪ ♪ Schloppity-Schlopp! ♪ ♪ Complain all you want It’s never, ♪ ♪ ever, ever, ever gonna stop ♪ ♪ Stop! ♪ ♪ Come on, ♪ ♪ how bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just building the economy ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ Just look at me ♪ ♪ petting this puppy ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ A portion of proceeds ♪ ♪ goes to charity ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad could I possibly be? ♪ ♪ Let’s see! ♪ ♪ All the customers are buying ♪ ♪ And the money’s multiplying ♪ ♪ And the PR people are lying ♪ ♪ And the lawyers are denying ♪ ♪ Who cares if ♪ ♪ a few trees are dying? ♪ ♪ This is all so gratifying! ♪ ♪ How bad? ♪ ♪ How bad can this possibly be? ♪ So, how are things? What are you doing here? Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you? Or do you still need more? Look, if you’ve got a problem with what I’m doing, why haven’t you used your quote-unquote powers to stop me? I told you, that’s not how it works. Right, I forgot. You’re a fraud. I need you to get out. Now! Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? You know what? You can just shut your mustache. My

conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me! Well, that’s it. The very last one. That may stop you. Somebody sure made a bundle on that thing. I wonder what the next million dollar invention’s going to be. Yeah, I wonder… Son, you have let me down. Brett, you are now my favorite child. Hey, look, I don’t want any trouble. And you won’t get any. Not from them. Thanks to you and your hacking, and smogging and glupping, they can’t live here anymore. So, I’m sending them off. Hopefully, they’ll be able to find a better place out there somewhere. Melvin? Melvin… Hey, Pipsqueak… Hey… So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything. Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I’ve sat here regretting everything I’ve done, staring at that word, “unless,” and wondering what it meant. But now I’m thinking… Well, maybe you’re the reason the Lorax left that word there. Me? Why would he leave that for me? Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not. The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted. Yeah, but, nobody cares about trees anymore. Then make them care. Plant the seed in the middle of town, where everyone can see. Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it’s not about what it is, it’s about what it can become. That’s not just a seed, any more than you’re just a boy. I won’t let you down. I know. * * * Hey, Audrey! Audrey! Ted? What are you doing? Meet me at my house. Wait, but… My house, okay? Got to plant the seed. Okay, we’re going to need water. And uh, something to dig with. Um, what do I have… Ted? Mom, I’m busy, Mom. Theodore Wiggins, get down here right now, and I am not kidding with you! Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O’Hare, the most powerful man in town. There he is! Hello, Ted. Uh… Hi. Isn’t he clever, Mr. O’Hare? He knows his own name and everything. You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I’ll stay here and talk. Sure, why don’t you go ahead and adopt him? I’m just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I’ll get your cookie. I know you have it, Ted. So, let’s put an end to this nonsense, shall we? Hand it over. I’m sorry… I don’t know what you’re talking about. Really? Well, then… I guess you wouldn’t mind us checking your room. No, no, no! Morty! McGurk! Find the seed! No, you can’t go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can’t come in my room! Find it! Find it! What is going on here? This doesn’t involve you! Get back downstairs! Excuse me, down there! I don’t care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous. Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We’ll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. Mind telling me what’s going on here? The seed! Where is it? Seed? Where’s Grammy? It’s alive! I remember you. Ted, what… Audrey! Hey, did you want to… Well, okay! Ted, what is this about? It’s about this. Wait, wait, wait. Is that… Yes. The last Truffula seed. And you’re going to help me plant it right in the middle of town where everyone can see it. I could just kiss you right now! We don’t have time for that. I don’t know, we have a little time. But, you know what, let’s just go. Let’s go. Forget about it. Maniac! Hey! Ah! Here it comes! I’m going for it. Oh, hello! Ted, big scary blimp coming. Whoa! You won’t get away with this, boy! Bam! Go faster, you idiot! Yeah! Step on it, Ted! Whoa! You’re fired! Whoa! Ted, look out! Nobody beats Aloysius O… Ted… This is not good. How’s it doing? Whoa-ho-ho! Loser! Oh, really? Oh, no. The seed! Get that seed! Hang on! Here we go! Grammy! Seriously, how cool is your grandma? No! Come on! Yeah, that’s right. There it is! Hey! Watch the road, you meathead! Ah! Hey, ow, ow! Oh, come on! What the… Get it unstuck, get it unstuck! Bring it on, Teddy! You don’t have the guts! Ted! Grammy! Whoo-hoo!

Yes! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! It’s Mr. O… Take that, shorty! Okay, we have to get this in the ground. But where? There’s no dirt anywhere. No, Grammy… Hey, get out of there! Ah! Hey! What? See, what did I tell you? Easy. Huh? Hey, they broke O’Hare’s head! What do you think you’re doing, kid? Um, I’m looking for a place to plant a tree. A real one. Why would we need a tree? Exactly. Oh, man. Folks… The last thing you want around here is trees. They’re filthy! Spewing that sticky, nasty sap all over the place. They bring poisonous ants and stinging bees. Hey! Ouch. Think about the kids. And, I just thought, you know, they make leaves! You know that, right? Then these leaves, they just fall. They just fall wherever they want! Come on! We know why you’re really against trees. Because they produce fresh air. For free! Oh! I am wounded! You have lied! It is not a lie! It’s called photosynthesis. Come on. She’s making that up! That’s a made-up word, people! Thneedville is perfect just the way it is. We don’t need trees! That boy has a seed. We need to stop him! Who’s with me? Come on! O’Hare is right! Seeds will ruin us all! Stop it! Last chance, kid. Hand it over! Where do you think you’re going? Come on, let’s go! Get in, get in! Hey! Stop that maniac! Excuse me, excuse me. Watch out! Ted, you’re going to hit the wall! Yeah. I know. Wow. Did you see that? Who does this kid think he is, huh? I am Ted Wiggins. And I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren’t perfect here in Thneedville. And they’re only going to get worse, unless we do something about it, unless we change our ways. And we can start by planting this! Okay. Come on, now. Everything is fine. Right? I say we tell this kid what we think about that seed! People, come on! You! Get out there right now and get these people on my side, or else you’re fired! Go on, tell them what you think. ♪ You don’t know me, ♪ ♪ but my name’s Cy ♪ ♪ I’m just ♪ ♪ the O’Hare delivery guy ♪ ♪ But it seems like ♪ ♪ trees might be worth a try ♪ ♪ So I say let it grow ♪ ♪ My name is Dan ♪ ♪ And my name’s Rose ♪ ♪ Our son Wesley kind of glows ♪ ♪ And that’s not good, ♪ ♪ so we suppose ♪ ♪ We should let it grow ♪ ♪ Let it grow, let it grow ♪ ♪ You can’t reap ♪ ♪ what you don’t sow ♪ ♪ Plant a seed inside the Earth ♪ ♪ Just one way to know its worth ♪ ♪ Let’s celebrate ♪ ♪ the world’s rebirth ♪ ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ My name’s Marie, ♪ ♪ and I am three! ♪ ♪ I would really ♪ ♪ like to see a tree ♪ ♪ I say let it grow ♪ ♪ I’m Grammy Norma I’m old, ♪ ♪ and I’ve got gray hair ♪ ♪ But I remember when ♪ ♪ trees were everywhere ♪ ♪ And no one had to pay for air ♪ ♪ So I say let it grow ♪ ♪ Let it grow, let it grow ♪ ♪ Like it did so long ago ♪ ♪ It is just one tiny seed ♪ ♪ But it’s all we really need ♪ ♪ It’s time to change ♪ ♪ the life we lead ♪ ♪ Time to let it grow ♪ ♪ My name’s O’Hare, ♪ ♪ I’m one of you ♪ ♪ I live here in Thneedville, too ♪ ♪ The things you say ♪ ♪ just might be true ♪ ♪ It could be time to start anew ♪ ♪ And maybe change ♪ ♪ my point of view ♪ Nah! I say let it die! ♪ Let it die, let it die ♪ ♪ Let it shrivel up and… ♪ Come on, who’s with me? Nobody. ♪ You greedy dirt-bag-‘ ♪ ♪ Let it grow, let it grow ♪ ♪ Let the love inside you show ♪ ♪ Plant a seed inside the Earth ♪ ♪ Just one way to know its worth ♪ ♪ Let’s celebrate ♪ ♪ the world’s rebirth ♪ ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ Let it grow, let it grow ♪ ♪ You can’t reap ♪ ♪ what you don’t sow ♪ ♪ It’s just one tiny seed ♪ ♪ But it’s all we really need ♪ ♪ It’s time to ♪ ♪ banish all your greed ♪ ♪ Imagine Thneedville ♪ ♪ flowered and treed ♪ ♪ Let this be our solemn creed ♪ Thank you, Ted. ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ In Thneedville ♪ ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ It’s a brand new dawn ♪ ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ In Thneedville ♪ ♪ We say let it grow ♪ ♪ It’s a brand new dawn ♪ You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not. —Dr. Seuss THE END

Bigger? Yeah, this isn’t some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It’s going to be huge! Which way does a tree fall? Uh, down? A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean. * * * I mean, look at this. It’s amazing. I am so proud of me. Oncie, we’ve got us a little problem. Problem? Mmm-hmm. See, we’re not making Thneeds fast enough. Harvesting the tufts takes too long! Well, what else can we do? Well, and this just came to me, we could always start chopping down the trees. What? Now you’re thinking. That would speed things up! But… No “but” s, Oncie. You’re running a business now. You have to do what’s best for the company, and your momma. Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to chop down a few trees. You’ve made me so proud, Oncie. Come here! Hey! I love this guy! No! No, no, no! Stop it! Please, stop. Take that, you stupid tree! Where do you think you’re going? Excuse me, sir. I need to talk with your boss. Oh, I’m sorry, but Mr. Once-ler’s not seeing anyone right now. Yeah, well, he’ll see me. So… Hey, keep your paws off me! Give me a reason, Shorty. Hey, you broke your promise. You’re better than this. You gotta stop! This is bad! Have a nice day! Bad? I’m not bad, I’m the good guy here. He just doesn’t get it. Do you think I’m bad? Thank you! I mean, something good finally happens to me, and he just has to come along and rain on my parade. What’s his problem? See? Yeah, bad! Right. ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just following my destiny ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ Well, there’s ♪ ♪ a principle in nature ♪ ♪ Principle in nature ♪ ♪ That almost ♪ ♪ every creature knows ♪ ♪ Called survival of the fittest ♪ ♪ Survival of the fittest ♪ ♪ And check it, ♪ ♪ this is how it goes ♪ ♪ The animal that wins ♪ ♪ gotta scratch and fight ♪ ♪ And claw and bite and punch ♪ ♪ And the animal that doesn’t ♪ ♪ Well, the animal that doesn’t ♪ ♪ Winds up someone else’s ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la lunch ♪ ♪ Munch, munch, munch, munch, ♪ ♪ munch I’m just sayin’ ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just following my destiny ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just doin’ ♪ ♪ what comes naturally ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ There’s a principle in business ♪ ♪ Principle in business ♪ ♪ That everybody knows is sound ♪ ♪ It says the people with the ♪ ♪ money People with the money ♪ ♪ Make this ♪ ♪ ever-loving world go round ♪ ♪ So I’m biggering my company ♪ ♪ I’m biggering my factory ♪ ♪ I’m biggering my corporate sign ♪ ♪ Bigger, bigger! ♪ ♪ Everybody out there ♪ ♪ You take care of yours ♪ ♪ I’ll take care of ♪ ♪ mine-mine-mine-mine-mine ♪ ♪ Shake that bottom line ♪ ♪ Let me hear you ♪ ♪ say Smogulous Smoke! ♪ ♪ Smogulous Smoke! ♪ ♪ Schloppity-Schlopp! ♪ ♪ Complain all you want It’s never, ♪ ♪ ever, ever, ever gonna stop ♪ ♪ Stop! ♪ ♪ Come on, ♪ ♪ how bad can I possibly be? ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ I’m just building the economy ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ Just look at me ♪ ♪ petting this puppy ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ A portion of proceeds ♪ ♪ goes to charity ♪ ♪ How bad can I be? ♪ ♪ How bad could I possibly be? ♪ ♪ Let’s see! ♪ ♪ All the customers are buying ♪ ♪ And the money’s multiplying ♪ ♪ And the PR people are lying ♪ ♪ And the lawyers are denying ♪ ♪ Who cares if ♪ ♪ a few trees are dying? ♪ ♪ This is all so gratifying! ♪ ♪ How bad? ♪ ♪ How bad can this possibly be? ♪ So, how are things? What are you doing here? Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you? Or do you still need more? Look, if you’ve got a problem with what I’m doing, why haven’t you used your quote-unquote powers to stop me? I told you, that’s not how it works. Right, I forgot. You’re a fraud. I need you to get out. Now! Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? You know what? You can just shut your mustache. My

Omg

#tw long post #josh's random thoughts

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kim-seungmine · 5 years

Text

give my heart a chance

title: give my heart a chance

characters: (fem) reader x han jisung of stray kids.

genres: romance, fluffy as hell (i just want them to kiss so bad!), college au, friends to lovers au, composer/music scorer!jisung, assistant director!reader

word count: 6.9k words

warnings: cursing, a little suggestive i guess? there’s a lot of sexual references but nothing too wild, lots of (attempted) flirting, jisung is whipped as hell, it gets very wordy sometimes IM SORRY.

synopsis: you and jisung have these theories about love, and there’s only one way to prove yourselves right: testing them on each other.

a/n: writing this gave me so much joy, and writing from jisung’s perspective is super fun. lastly, sorry for the lame ass title, but i hope you’ll enjoy! please tell me there aren’t many grammatical/spelling errors i’ve read this over and over again.

Verse 1: “Date me, so I can write love songs about you.”

Han Jisung has a lot of ambitions. Being the world's best composer, buying a whole island for himself, and flexing his Rolex watches are on his list, but for now finishing his demo for the upcoming production meeting will be enough.

Maybe he's not so ambitious after all.

The door clicks open and reveals his roommate Lee Minho, his hair disheveled but eyes twinkling. Jisung raises his eyebrow. "Did you pass out on the street or something? What time is it?"

It's now Minho's turn to raise his eyebrow. "I had this amazing date but to put it simply, your man got laid."

Jisung sighs and knocks his head on the desk. "Lucky you."

"Your time will come, my friend," Minho assures him flatly, lying on the couch with a contented sigh. "What time is the meeting?"

"9 A.M." Jisung yawns, lifting his head to glance at his watch. "Fuck, I'm late."

Jisung doesn't know why he struggles to finish this project. His senior Bang Chan asked him to join his graduation project and help with the scoring. Jisung is willing to do anything that boosts his resume, but so far the project is only causing him headache. He's Han Jisung, the best student in his batch who almost always forgets to finish his assignments but always manages to ace them. He also sings and raps—even freestyling. He's the musical genius. Why is this happening to him?

Minho mumbles a sleepy good luck before passing out. Jisung is about pack his laptop when his phone vibrates. Your name appears on his screen, making him groan.

"Han Jisung you're late," you deadpan before he gets to say hello.

"I'm on my way."

“Get your ass here in 10 minutes or..."

"Or what?"

He can hear you tapping your pen on the table. "...I have nothing to threaten you with."

Jisung chuckles. Do you know how cute you are even over the phone? "I'll be there in 10."

Chan and the rest of the crew are already inside the room when Jisung arrives. He slowly pulls up a chair beside you, trying his best to ignore your glare.

"About the wooden table we wanted last week, have we got it?" Chan asks.

Kim Seungmin, the head of production design team, nods his head. "The color is a bit different from your moodboard because the one you wanted was slightly more expensive than expected, is this still okay?" He pauses to show Chan a picture on his phone. The director examines it before passing Seungmin's phone to you. "What do you think, Y/N?"

"It's a bit different but still fits the overall mood in my opinion. A little bit warmer, but I don't think it will disturb the ambience."

Chan smiles. "Hmm, I agree. Good job, Seungmin. And that's it, everyone! Thank you for coming! We only have 3 more scenes to film so hang in there, okay?"

The whole room lets out sighs of relief, leaving the room one by one.

"Jisung, can I talk to you?"

"Just curse at me. You don't have to be so nice."

Chan laughs. "You know why I asked you to help me, right? I know what you're capable of, so tell me, what's bothering you?"

Jisung pulls out the film script from his backpack, showing Chan the parts he's circled with red marker. "I finished the scoring for other scenes, but I can never seem to think of anything that fits this one scene."

He has played the scene in his head over and over. The man confesses his feelings to the woman he loves dearly, but also says goodbye to her. The woman only nods, lips curling into a small smile, and waves him goodbye.

It doesn’t make sense. Why would they do that? People who love each other stay together unless their parents disagree or someone dies. Or at least, they try to be together until the feelings fade. Why would they say goodbye before even starting anything?

Chan stands up, patting Jisung on his back as he’s making his way to the door. “I don’t want to limit your creativity or make you create music only based on my vision, but here’s something to think about: sometimes it’s not about fate or timing. It’s about choice. See you next week, kids!��

Both of you slump into your chairs the moment he’s out of sight. “I hate it when he’s being cryptic like that. Why can’t he just tell you what he wants? He’s the director anyways, everything has to be according to his vision.” You turn to Jisung who’s scratching his head. “Please tell me you understood what he said.”

“I understand,” Jisung answers. “Well, theoretically. Do you?”

“No one will truly understand it the way Chan does, but I understand the message he wants to tell.”

“Will you just help me then?” Jisung begs. “We don’t have much time left and I’m sure you’ll kill me if I submit the demo a minute late so let’s make our lives easier and help each other out, shall we?”

Jisung does need help—especially since you’ll be extremely critical—but he also wants to spend more time with you. He doesn’t know if Minho going on dates motivates him to do the same, and that’s what he wants to figure out.

“Okay,” you say. “But the moment you annoy me too much I’ll leave you to rot alone”

Jisung smiles so brightly his cheeks hurt. “When do you finish class today?”

It wasn’t love at first sight. The first few weeks working with you was hard that he wanted to take a revenge on you by asking Minho to break your heart. His roommate specializes in breaking people’s hearts, but he figured you would break Minho’s heart instead.

After a while, Jisung would rather you break his heart than anybody else’s.

“I hope you like Americano,” Jisung says. You avert your gaze to two cups of Americano on the table, nodding as you sit in front of him. “Thanks. Is the cheesecake mine too?”

He chuckles, sliding the plate to you. “It’s mine, but you can have it. I wanted to buy you one but I don’t know what you like.”

“You dared to assume that I like Americano but couldn’t decide what cake I would like?”

Jisung wonders whether he should be honest with you.

“I almost did,” he confesses. “But buying you cake feels too personal, isn’t it? This will feel like a date.”

You unexpectedly pout, and Jisung almost has a heart attack. “Stop flirting, you’re so bad at it.”

“Once I start flirting for real, you’ll be madly in love with me in 10 minutes.”

You slide the plate back to him. “I don’t know why we’re having this conversation,” you sigh. “Let’s start. You’re the one who wants me to help you get your shit done.”

Jisung opens his laptop to show you his drafts. “I honestly don’t know if this scene is supposed to be sad,” he explains, playing one of them. You listen carefully, glancing at him every few seconds. When the music stops, you close his laptop.

“Do you believe in love, Han Jisung?”

Jisung stops slicing his cheesecake, puts his fork down, and looks into your eyes. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just answer me.”

“Yes? I’ve been in love before, that’s for sure.”

“Do you think the man loves the woman?”

“He does.”

You look satisfied with his answer. For a few minutes, you don’t ask him any other question, just sipping your coffee while examining your surroundings. “That’s it? You asked me all those big questions then just stopped?”

“Your theories are interesting,” you point out. “You believe in love and thinks that the couple needs to be together, but you’re not thinking from their perspective yet.”

“What’s your theory then?” he asks.

“My theories… about love?”

“Yeah. If you don’t mind sharing.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay, I think it will be fun. Well, this is what I’ve always believed in: boys like you will never be heartbroken.”

“Boys like me?”

“Boys like you, who date just for the sake of dating itself or getting laid.”

Jisung panics, waving his hands in front of your face. “Y/N I’m not some fuckboy I swear to God.”

“I know you’re not,” you clarify. “Boys like you just don’t think too much about anything, don’t really use your feelings. You date you when you want to date, break up when you want to break up, stay single for a while then starting to feel empty and thinking that dating someone is the only solution.”

“Aren’t we all like that?! Tell me you’ve never thought of going on Tinder when you’re lonely!” he protests. “For a film major, you have a lot of time.”

“I have to observe people in order to survive,” you laugh. “Where do you think I get ideas? It’s from other people.”

Jisung is still forming a smart comment in his head when you tilt your head, flashing him a smile so sweet like you didn’t just indirectly diss him. “Your turn. What’s your theory?”

It’s kind of hard to believe, but Jisung has quite a lot of theories about love. He’s not what you’ll call experienced, but he knows enough to come up with his own theories. “Which one hurts more, dumping someone or getting dumped?”

“Getting dumped, of course. That’s not even a theory anymore.”

Jisung wiggles his index finger. “It’s the other way around. Before you break up with someone, you think of hundreds of reasons—whether blaming yourself or the other person. You’ll keep thinking about things you hate about them and shitty experiences with them before coming up with a perfect breakup scenario. And the whole process, Princess, is agonizing.”

“Wow,” you breathe out, amazed. “You’re something else.”

“Jisung-ah!”

Minho jogs to your table, stopping when he realizes that Jisung isn’t alone. “Thank God I found you,” he whispers urgently. “Listen, I know you’re in the middle of a date but this is emergency.”

“What is it?”

“Are you coming home tonight?” Minho asks.

Jisung frowns. “Of course I am. I need to sleep so bad.”

“Are you sure? If so, then…” Minho proceeds to type something on his phone before passing it to Jisung. The latter coughs at the content, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket and handing it to Minho. “If you lose it I’m going to kill you,” he threatens.

“Are you sure you’re coming—”

“Don’t worry, he’s definitely coming home. I’m not sleeping with him if that’s what you’re implying.”

Minho laughs, bowing playfully at you as he backs away. “Good choice!” he yells. “Have fun, you two!”

You giggle while Jisung curses under his breath. “He asked you for a condom, didn’t he?” Once again, you casually smile at him, eyes twinkling. Jisung slowly nods, and you burst into a hearty laugh. “I caught you carrying condoms in your wallet after you insisted that you’re not a fuckboy. Nice move, Han Jisung.”

Jisung groans.

“Are you done?” Jisung asks over the phone. After your “date,” it’s become a routine for him to visit you at the bookstore you work at to discuss the project (while subtly flirting with you because he wants to see you getting all sassy).

“Not yet,” you answer lowly. “My manager is here. You can come inside and wait.”

He forces his legs to walk faster and enters the bookstore. You wave at him from the cashier, gesturing at him to sit on one of the benches. You continue to serve the remaining customers, smiling at Jisung once in a while. He finds himself returning your smile with a bigger one, and he wonders how to convince you that he’s not as bad and shallow as you think.

A crazy idea pops into his mind, causing his palms to sweat. But he wants to do it, to at least try and see how you react. Jisung’s heart races when you say goodbye to your manager and approach him. You nudge his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

You shiver as soon as you open the door. “Where do you want to work?”

Jisung gestures at you to keep walking, giving you his phone and airpods. “You can just listen and give me feedback. I’ll edit once I get home, you must be tired.”

You keep repeating the song throughout the way to the bus station. You turn to Jisung when you’re done, punching his arm lightly. “Well done, this is much better. You can actually show it to Chan.”

“No way. Really?”

You press play once again, bopping your head to the soft beats. “The man tells the woman he loves her after a long time. It’s a happy moment, an achievement. Then he bids her farewell because he knows—both of them know—that the relationship will end badly. It’s sad, but relieving because at least they know what they feel about each other. The music is not sad, but it’s not happy either. It’s hopeful because the characters are going to start another journey, although without each other.”

“But you end it with that little piano sounds, so there’s a tinge of sadness left,” you continue. “And that’s wonderful. I think Chan will like it a lot.”

Jisung lets out the breath he doesn’t know he was holding. “You interpret it better than I ever will,” he mutters. “Thank you. I hope Chan won’t fire me now.”

“He won’t. He loves you and knows you’re talented,” you tell him. “Will you help me for my future projects? We have to create a short film for finals. I haven’t told you this, but I really love your style. I wish I could hear your songs more often.”

“I-I could just, y-you know, write you songs,” Jisung stutters. This is it. He has to tell you now or he will regret it for the rest of his life.

“Huh?”

“I can write you all the songs you want. I can even write songs about you.”

“What songs? Like diss tracks?”

“I take requests, so I can write you a diss track if you want me to. And I can definitely write love songs about you.”

“How is that possible? You’re unbelievable.”

Jisung stops, clearing his throat before focusing his eyes on you. “Date me,” he enunciates. “Date me, so I can write love songs about you. Maybe later you’ll realize that boys like me aren’t always fuckboys. At least, I’m not. And I’ll give you the privilege to break my heart. I know you can do it.”

You gape at him. “You’re asking me out just to test our theories?”

Great, you think that it’s a stupid idea. Of course it is, why would you want to date him just to—

“Okay,” you add. “I’ll go out with you.”

“Holy shit,” Jisung yelps. “I thought you would beat me up.”

Leaning on the lamppost, you wink at him. “It’ll be fun. But I’ll break all of your bones the moment you start disrespecting me.”

Jisung stands straighter at your tone. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“So, what now? You’re taking me home?” you suggest.

“If you’ll let me.”

You extend your hand, and Jisung quickly takes it before you change your mind. The two of you walk in comfortable silence until you reach your neighborhood. “Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?” Jisung shyly asks, tightening his grip on your hand.

“Sure!” you chirp, squeezing his hand before letting go. “Good night, Jisung.”

“Good night Y/N.”

You give him a small wave, a cheerful smile plastered on your face.

Jisung waves back, unable to erase the stupid grin on his face. Oh, you’re so going to break his heart, and he won’t even try to stop you.

Verse 2: “I just want to be yours, completely yours.”

“You did not just tell me you like horror movies.”

The two of you are currently standing in front of the self-ticket machine, bickering over what movie you should watch. In turns out, your movie taste clash; Jisung lives for horror movies while you despise them. People behind him start snickering, so Jisung pulls you away from the queue.

“While we’re at it, tell me what kind of movies you watch,” he begins, trying to hide his amusement at your frustration. “I love everything, except for horror. But the ones I often watch may put you to sleep.”

“And now, if you don’t want to watch It 2, what do you want to watch?”

“Nothing really interests me,” you express. “It’s fine, let’s just watch this. I’ll pick the movie next time.”

Jisung beams. “My princess is so understanding,” he coos.

You roll your eyes at him, but not pushing him away when he wraps his arm around your shoulder. “How do you not cringe everytime you call me that.”

He pokes your cheek. “Because I know you secretly like it, and I’ll do anything that makes you happy.”

“Wow, you sound like you’re really in love with me,” you blurt out, completely unaware of the effect your words have on him. Who knows? Maybe I will, soon.

Three hours later, Jisung figures that you’re already playing with his feelings. During the entire movie, you didn’t flinch nor close your eyes. You didn’t even hold his hand for support (to be very honest, Jisung was quite disappointed at this).

“Y/N.”

You get startled at his voice, automatically stopping on your track. “Now everything startles me.” You clutch your chest in shock. “I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“For someone who doesn’t like horror, you endured everything well inside the theater.”

“Curiosity always gets the best of me.”

“You could’ve chosen another movie, and I would be okay with that. Next time don’t force yourself, okay?”

“It’s something you love,” you explain. “I know you won’t force me to do things I don’t like, and I won’t force you either, but if it’s something that I can still tolerate then I don’t mind. It’s not like we can’t compromise, right?”

There you go, saying thoughtful things that warms Jisung’s heart so nonchalantly. He only hums in response, picking up his pace since you’ve started running. “I’m running late!” you half-yell before sprinting towards the bookstore.

After a few blocks, both of you arrive at the bookstore, almost running out of breath. Jisung fixes your hair in a haste. “I’ll pick you up later? Watch another movie, maybe? A funny one so you’ll be able to sleep?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just call you if Pennywise appears in my room.”

“Oh I’m sure you’re scarier than him, Princess, don’t worry.”

Jisung is prepared for a punch on his shoulder or strings of cussing words from you.

But you reward him with a peck on his cheek instead.

It’s been two hours since your shift was supposed to end, but Jisung hasn’t heard anything from you. His messages are unread and you won’t pick up his call. Minho watches his friend paces back and forth in the living room.

“Dude just pick her up or go to her place, you’re stressing me out!”

“I don’t know if she will like it. She did say I didn’t need to pick her up.”

“Are you really dating her? You’ve never been like this before.”

Jisung plops onto the sofa, massaging his temples. Minho won’t understand, especially since he’s the one who totally fits your “boys like you” criteria. “I am, but the whole thing is different.”

“Like, how?” Minho deadpans.

“We’re dating to test our theories about each other. About love.”

“So you two are just fooling around?”

“No!” Jisung insists. “It’s not like that. We’re dating, but I have to admit that things are getting more serious than I expected.”

Minho rubs his chin. “Isn’t that what you want? You seem to really like her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

The doorbell suddenly rings. Minho opens the door, surprised to see you there. “Y/N?” he gasps. “Are you okay? Are you crying?”

Jisung’s ears perk up at the word crying and he immediately rushes to you. He cradles your face, examining you from head to toe. “I was so worried Y/N. What the hell happened?” he questions. Minho grabs his phone and wallet from the buffet, mouthing that he’ll give the two of you some time alone.

You circle your arms around Jisung’s waist after Minho closes the door, wetting his sweatshirt with your tears. Jisung automatically takes you into his embrace, stroking your hair in the hopes of calming you down. “Some old man tried to make a pass at me,” you sob. “I almost slapped him but my friends stopped me. The owner has banned him from coming.”

Jisung tightens his hold on you, guilt starting to overtake him. He should have come to you, he should have just come to you. Why did he hesitate? “Motherfucker,” he splutters. “God—I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Why are you saying sorry?” you try to laugh. “I’m fine, Jisung. I’m just… mad. And a little bit scared, but I’m okay. Seriously though, men have no manners.”

“I know,” he replies. “I’m sorry. I hope it won’t ever happen again. I won’t let it happen, okay? I’ll keep you safe.”

You snort, pulling away to pinch his cheeks. “Then who’s gonna protect you? I know you watch horror movies well but everything else scares you.”

Jisung’s lips stretch into a loving smile, wiping your tears with his hands. “I’ll try my best. You can trust me,” he says. “Should I take you home now?”

You seem to consider his offer before burying your face in chest again. Jisung hopes you can’t hear his heart beating violently due to the close proximity. “Jisung, you okay?” you hum. “Your heart is beating so fast.”

Of course, he won’t be able to fool you.

“Yeah. I’m just glad you’re not hurt.”

“Can I sleep over?”

Jisung separates you from his body before you can hear his heart jumping out of its ribcage. “All I can think about is Pennywise now,” you sigh, searching for approval in his eyes. Jisung feels his legs weaken, so he squeezes your shoulders. “You sure? Do you feel comfortable sleeping in my room with Minho sleeping next door? Oh fuck it, why am I encouraging you to change your mind? Of course you can sleep over. You can trust me, and you can trust Minho too. And it’s not that I’ll even let him touch a strand of your hair!” he blabbers.

Your eyes light up at the mention of Minho’s name. “Lee Minho is hot, I don’t mind having him around.”

“You go around declaring that men have no manners and boys like me are fuckboys yet you don’t mind having Lee fucking Minho around?!”

Once again, you wrap your arms around his waist, and Jisung wastes no time in returning your hug although his eyes are angry now. “I have you, right? You’re not an asshole, you won’t let anything happen to me.”

Jisung sighs in defeat, resting his chin on top of your head. “You’re impossible.”

After putting you to bed (with much difficulty because you kept commenting at how messy his room is), Jisung finds himself lying on the couch, staring at his room. Minho is already back and is now asleep (but not before he gave his roommate a whole warning to not say anything that can damage Jisung’s reputation).

Are you sleeping well? Are you still sad? Do you really think that Minho is hot or were you just playing with him?

His questions seem to reach your mind because seconds later, you slide the door open. You walk towards him, kneeling down to see him better. “JIsung-ah,” you call out softly. “Are you asleep?”

Jisung blinks, heat rising to his cheeks because you’re staring at him so intensely. “Not yet. What is it? You can’t sleep?”

“You can sleep inside, it’s cold out here,” you whisper. “It’s fine, I can sleep anywhere like a log.” He rubs your hand. “Go back to sleep.”

Jisung sits up when you don’t budge. “What if I also want you to be next to me?” you murmur, but he hears everything loud and clear. He carries you back inside his room with saying a word, hoping that this isn’t just a test he will fail.

He lays you down gently, which surprises himself since he tends to do everything in a rush. Jisung settles himself beside you, ready to finally sleep when you scoot closer and put your arms around his torso. “Thank you for today,” you say.

Jisung turns around to face you, slowly pulling you into his arms. “What did I do?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“Being there for me,” you reply. “You didn’t doubt me, you didn’t blame me.”

Jisung lifts your chin so he can look into your eyes. “Why would I blame you? You really should’ve kicked that man’s ass.”

You break into a smile, and Jisung can’t hold himself anymore. The feeling of you in his embrace, your smile, the way you look at him, and the warmth of your words are driving him crazy. Jisung realizes it’s always been like that since the very first time he met you: you’ve always driven him crazy.

“Y/N.” He licks his lips. “I want to start over. I want us to date without thinking about the goddamn theories. I don’t care about them anymore. I just want to be yours, completely yours. I’m not saying this only because I want to date, I only want to date you. And I don’t want to think about breaking up with you once we finish proving those theories. I won’t be able to handle it, I like you too much.”

You blink at him, staring at him long and intense Jisung feels like burning. You cup his face, tilting your head to peck him on the lips. It ends way too soon for his liking, but he already wants to faint.

“Aren’t I your Princess already? That means you’re automatically mine.”

Jisung chuckles, a huge burden is lifted off his chest as you snuggle to him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Nice move, Han Jisung. Confessing to me when I’m in your bed and feeling sentimental as hell.”

“Sorry Princess, but you’re too irresistible. I just gotta make you mine right here, right now.”

“Go to sleep.”

“As you wish,” he sighs dreamily, peppering kisses on the top of your head until you fall asleep.

“Where are you? The food is ready.”

Jisung rummages through his pile of clothes on the floor, picking up a random black shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. His phone is on the bed, speaker on so he could actually get ready while you’re hollering at him.

“I’ll be on my way soon, Princess. Please don’t get mad,” he pleads.

“I took a day off from my part-time job for you, Jisung. But you’re acting like my time isn’t precious at all,” you answer, a little softer this time. Jisung chews the inside of his cheek; you’re right. He’s always late although he barely has time to meet you thesedays.

He swears he doesn’t mean to, but whenever he’s about to meet you, misfortunes always happen: his alarm doesn’t go off, he has an appointment he can’t cancel, or he’s too tired to get out of his bed. You get into petty arguments whenever you meet, but you forgive him every single time although Jisung himself knows he’s being stubborn. As he slips on his shirt, Jisung wonders if this is the beginning of the end.

“Okay,” you finally mumble. “Be careful.”

Jisung ends the call, running as fast as he can to your apartment complex. He considers taking the stairs, but remembers that you live on the 20th floor and decides to wait for the elevator. When he finally enters your flat, his eyes brim with tears.

You’re sleeping on the sofa, two portions of jjajjangmyeon along with a bowl of caramel popcorn are on the table. The television is on, ready to play Along with the Gods because Jisung wants to re-watch it tonight.

He’s the luckiest man on Earth yet he keeps disappointing you. It pains him how small mistakes may really destroy both of you.

Jisung crouches down, wiping his tears quickly before planting a kiss on your lips. You stir, opening your eyes.

“Hi,” you yawn. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“I missed you,” Jisung rasps. “So much.”

He pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, his tense muscles relaxing when you hum knowingly against his skin. “I missed you too. Wanna talk about it?” you offer, patting his back softly.

“About what?”

“You had a bad day.”

“And you’re sleepy,” he retorts. “Let’s just sleep.”

“Not before you tell me what’s bothering you.”

Jisung gives up, deciding to tell you how swamped he is with projects and how everything doesn’t seem to go his way. You listen to him—although through half-lidded eyes—giving him all suggestions and reassurance he doesn’t even know he needs.

Sometimes Jisung still thinks about the theories both of you wanted to prove months ago. He remembers how sure he was that yours was wrong. He was not an insensitive asshole.

Maybe he is now. And you don’t deserve it.

The thing is, Jisung is selfish. Losing you is something he fears the most, and now, surrounded by your warmth and soft caresses, he makes a silent promise to fix everything. To make himself worthy of you and your love again.

“Y/N.” He lifts himself up just enough to see your face, smiling at your sleepy face. “I love you.”

You freeze, eyes boring into his, trying to look for traces of lies. He stays in his position and waits for you to say something, anything, before his heart explodes and breaks into a million pieces.

“You do, now?” you reply, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

Jisung waits for you to say it back, but you soon fall asleep in his arms.

Jisung had the best dream ever. He dreamed of going on vacation with you, and you always wore your brightest smile that he loved so much. But that wasn’t even the best part.

In his dream, you told him that you loved him.

In reality, Jisung wakes up to an empty bed. He checks his phone, relieved to see some messages from you.

princess : hv some cereal before you go, but pls wash the dishes

princess: dont forget to make the bed or ur dead

me: im a slave 4 u, ma’am, dont worry

The tone of your messages doesn’t change, and for now it’s enough to soothe his heart. Jisung makes the bed as you requested before examining your room. He’s seen all his photos you pinned on the wall, but now you’ve written comments underneath some of them.

Jisung’s eyes fall on a photo of him munching on his chocolate. The comment reads, “Please eat more, you’re too skinny.”

Another photo sees him sitting in front of his laptop with his headphones on. “You’re the coolest composer, you know that, right?”

Jisung recognizes the last photo as the one taken during one of your beach dates (in which he dragged Minho to be his designated photographer). You had begged him for a piggy back ride, and he eventually caved. Jisung flaunted his gummy smile as you pressed your lips on his right cheek. Underneath the photo, you wrote, “Jisung-ah, I’m so happy with you. Thank you.”

He wonders why you keep all these thoughts to yourself. These are your love letters for him, they beat all the “Han Jisung, I love you too” scenarios Jisung have inside his head. Why wouldn’t you just tell him that? Is it because he hasn’t been the best boyfriend thesedays?

After taking a photo of your “love shrine” (for blackmail purposes), Jisung leaves his notebooks inside one of your drawers, the ones filled with lyrics he wrote for you and about you. You wrote him the sweetest love letters, and he’s going to fulfill the promise he made when he asked you out.

You deserve to know every little detail of his feelings for you.

“Y/N… about last night… are you mad at me? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You stop flicking through channels, dropping the remote to ponder Jisung’s question. “Yeah, I am,” you admit. “But we’ve fought enough. I don’t wanna waste my energy.”

“So you’re going to let me be a jerk?! What if I never snapped out of it? What if I never apologized to you? Or feel guilty?! You have to beat the shit out of me, Y/N. You can’t be this nice!”

You prop your chin on your knees, closing your eyes. “Last night, I planned to break up with you.”

Jisung pales at your confession. “Princess, I’m—”

“Please hear me out first,” you cut him off. “These past few weeks have been tough, I honestly thought you cheated on me. When you were late again last night, I told myself to end things with you. But then I fucking fell asleep, and then as soon as I saw you, I didn’t want to do it anymore. Plus you looked like a mess last night.”

“I kept wondering if we’re trapped in a toxic relationship. And it angered me. I hated myself for keep wanting to forgive you. When you told me that you love me… I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know whether you were being sincere or just caught up in the moment.”

Tears start rolling down your cheeks. “That’s why I didn’t answer. This morning, I decided to give you one last chance.”

“Did I… ruin it?” Jisung asks sheepishly, wiping your tears gently.

You shake your head. “I acted like nothing happened, but you still apologized. And complained about me not telling you about this sooner.”

“So that means…?”

“That means,” you begin. “Your theory is right. Dumping someone feels worse than getting dumped. Yesterday, memories of us fighting flooded my mind as I created a whole speech in my head about how much I hated you. It made me wanna explode, and that was the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. Resentment is tiring, but the moment you stepped into the living room I know I don’t hate you.”

Jisung heaves a sigh of relief, placing his hand on top of yours carefully. “And your theory is wrong. You broke my heart. You truly did. I told you I love you, and when you didn’t say it back… I felt horrible... although I know it’s all my fault. You have me wrapped around your finger, Princess, I hope you know that.”

“Anyways, I saw your lovely comments for me on the photos,” he teases, knowing you meant to keep it a secret.

“Fucking hell!” you yell. “I forgot to hide them!”

“Why don’t you tell me now, then.”

Your lips curl into a teasing smile. “If I tell you I love you now, will you kiss me?”

Before you even properly say it, Jisung is already hovering over you, cupping your face and crashing his lips on yours. It just occurs to him that he’s never kissed you like this; it was always light pecks here and there. Jisung doesn’t know how he survived that, because nothing beats feeling your lips moving against his. Nothing beats the feeling of you tugging his hair, sighing in contentment when he starts exploring your warm mouth. Jisung tries to remember every single sensation; the way you curl your arms around his neck, the way you keep pulling him down to you as if he’s not close enough, the way you squirm as he nibbles your bottom lip gently.

“I love you,” you whisper in between feverish kisses he leaves every now and then. He pauses, finally letting himself breathe. You hold stars in your eyes, and those stars are all for him to see. It’s overwhelming, so all Jisung does is pressing another kiss on your lips. Moments later, when the lack of oxygen forces him to stop, he pulls away.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, trying to stop himself from kissing you again because he needs to tell you this first.

“For…?”

“Loving me.”

Chan’s graduation project has finally been screened, earning a standing ovation from everybody present. He invited all his crew to dinner, which has turned into a congratulatory party for Jisung and you. “You two didn’t disappoint me,” Chan exclaims. “I guess you’re the reason why Jisung finished his demo early, right Y/N?”

You wink cockily at him. “Han Jisung is nothing without me.”

Chan ruffles your hair before raising his hand to get everyone’s attention. “My last few months as a student felt amazing thanks to you guys. I’m sure you all know how thankful I am for each of you, so I won’t bore you with my speech. Now, Seungmin, I believe you have something to say.”

Kim Seungmin stands up, unfolding a piece of paper that sparks mixed reactions from the crowd. “Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin, Choi Jisu,” he announces. “Each of you owes ₩20,000 to me, Chan, and Shin Yuna because you guys freaking lost!” He claps, then turning to both of you. “Jisung and Y/N, thank you for making us rich!”

Everyone cheers while you and Jisung look dumbfounded. “All of you bet on us?!” you scream in disbelief. “Whoa I can’t believe you guys! Even you, Chan?”

The senior only chuckles. “Everyone was stressed out at how slow you two were but you guys were so annoyingly cute we couldn’t help ourselves!”

Seungmin collects all the money from the lost participants before distributing it to each of the winners. When he gets to Chan, the latter shakes his head. “Just use the money for round 2, I’ll pay the rest as well.”

The whole room cheers again, quickly getting up from their seats and debating about which place to go. You immediately start interrogating Seungmin, wanting to know what exactly happened during the whole production process.

Jisung taps Chan’s shoulder. “I believe I haven’t thanked you.”

Chan frowns. “For what?”

Jisung slips his hands into his jeans pocket, smiling at you as you turn around to check on him. “For making the whole project happened. For the whole, ‘Sometimes it’s not about fate or timing. It’s about choice.’ It kept me going, even when I thought Y/N and I weren’t meant to be. There are times when we just have to keep trying, aren’t we?”

“Well, thank you for remembering what I said. But it wasn’t me. It happened because you did try, Jisung. All of us have to make choices at some point, but not a lot of people actually have strength and will to do that. You did, so kudos to you. I’m trying to do the same myself, wish me luck, okay?”

Jisung snorts. “This is getting sappy, but thank you. And I will.”

Both boys laugh, exchanging playful slaps on each other’s back until you come up to them.

“Hey Chan, can I borrow Jisung for a sec?”

Chan shoves Jisung towards you. “If I catch you two sneaking out before round 2 is done, I’ll end you!”

You wave at Chan, and Jisung is now glued to your side. “What is it?” he asks, wrapping his arms around your shoulder. “I found your notebooks.”

He grins. “You did? I thought I’d have to tell you about them. They’re nice, right? I’ve recorded some of them, I’ll let you listen later.”

You cross your arms. “The ones in the black notebook are nice. I’m a goddess and I agree. But what are you gonna say about the red notebook?”

Jisung smirks at your question, dropping a quick kiss on your lips. “What about it? You wanna make everything I wrote there come true? I can do that, Princess. Whenever you want,” he whispers seductively.

His original plan was only to leave you the black notebook that contains all the sweetest lyrics he’s ever written. But then he thought it wouldn’t be fair if you only know that side of him. You have every right to know about his sexy thoughts too.

“I just want you to know me. All of me. And everything I feel about you, including the things I really, really want to do to you,” he continues.

You tiptoe to whisper into his ear, “Maybe later.”

“Later?!” Jisung shouts. “Later as in tonight?!”

You shrug, and now Jisung is dragging you to the opposite direction of where his friends are going. “Chan hyung! You can nag us later but we really need to go home right now!”

Everyone whistles, including Chan, so Jisung takes it as a yes and quickens his pace. You, meanwhile, are looking at the snacks stalls along the street.

“I’m still hungry. Let’s stop by to buy hotteok first.”

Groaning in frustration, Jisung knows he has no choice but to follow you. As he watches you enjoying your hotteok, he thinks about the moment when he desperately wanted to prove you wrong.

Jisung has nothing to prove now. You gave his heart a chance. You gave him a chance, and he��ll make sure to cherish you as long as he can.

more a/n: and it’s done! This story seems simple but writing it, I think the theme is a little bit hard to grasp. I hope you guys can understand everything that Jisung feels...

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haveyouseenthis · 4 years

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Last Time Was Just A Warm Up | Stray Kids IN LIFE Review

youtube

IN生 Tracklist: The Tortoise and the Hare Back Door B Me Any Ex We Go (Bang Chan, Changbin, Han) Wow (Lee Know, Hyunjin, Felix) My Universe (Seungmin, I.N, ft. Changbin) God’s Menu Easy Pacemaker Airplane Another Day Phobia Blueprint TA Haven

Stray Kids came back this fall with their first repackaged album, IN生 (In Life), quickly winning in music shows such as “Show Champion” and “M Countdown”.

As of now the music video for title track “Back Door” is just shy of 70 million views (10/17/20), but if previous title track “God’s Menu” is any indication, it shouldn't be too hard for the boys to rake in more.

So, without any further ado, let’s take a look at “Back Door”.

There is so much to unpack in this music video.

The beginning - Lee Know’s “acting part” - kicks it off sprinkling in some more tension and suspense. The rising effect as he goes to slam down the lever before we cut to black was heavenly. I think his casual air adds to the dangerous effect of the scene. They didn’t have him go in guns-blazing to flip the switch, instead they had him moseying around, hands in his pockets. You can’t see his face but you can feel the smirk.

Hyunjin was a great choice to start off in center. He captures the haughtiness the beginning calls for easily. The song starts and they crack their necks, fix their suits in anticipation. Then, much like “God’s Menu” we have Han come in to get the ball rolling.

“Move over, and here I come Last time was just a warm-up umm This time, it’s for real party Stay out of this if you can’t handle it yeah”

This is how you do a repackage. Comeback with your ego and cocky attitude and directly reference your last success. “You thought that that was good, that that was our best? It was just a warm-up,”. Han is another great member to start this song off as in his stage persona he also has a cocky air to him, just like Hyunjin.

Seungmin starts the pre-chorus and reveals to us the meaning of the back door the group took:

“I’ll walk out that door to see everything I wanted I can hear the music playing on the other side of the door”

After years of struggling and fighting they’ve made it to their haven. Once they go through that back door they are entering a party - their party.

Now let’s talk about the choreography. Again, this is how you do a repackage. For a repackage one should directly build onto their previous release and Stray Kids did that down to the choreo.

In “God’s Menu” the choreo was literally inspired by the track inself. They cooked and tossed spices everywhere. Now in “Back Door” they are walking through doors, knocks on doors, etc. The choreography was made with the same attitude as “God’s Menu” and that cements the two tracks relationship. Many groups have songs where they could have had some fun and creative literal choreography, but instead opted for popular knife-like dancing, or other popular moves, and it’s disappointing to me to see that the choreographers passed that chance by.

In addition to lyrics and choreography the music video director brought the same cast back in. The pit-crew girls, construction men, scientists, and chefs have followed Stray Kids on their journey to the back door. In addition to those familiar faces we also see some old ones: the kids from District 9. Stray Kids came back for their comrades and set them free in the world they have made.

However the world isn’t perfect, not yet at least. While Stray Kids is partying the lever is constantly shut off by men in suits and they have to turn it back on. This represents the opposition to what they are doing. The song ends with the switch flipped up, though, and when another man in a suit comes around again looking for the lever it isn’t there and he stands confused. Is this showing that they are so powerful no one can shut them out/off again?

Normally I include my personal ranking for the tracklist on these reviews, but I’m not able to this time. I’ve sat down multiple times and listened to the album through trying desperately to even spit out a rough ranking, but I really can’t. All the songs have floated up to 1st place at one point or another depending on my mood.

I’m very excited for the upcoming (now past, it took me a while to pump this one out... heh) release of their first Japanese mini album and all future projects they have in the works. Stray Kids hwaiting!

“Back Door” Music Video

Genius English Translations IN生

Video Editor Reacts to Stray Kids "Back Door" M/V

Stray Kids "Back Door" M/V Reaction

#stray kids #skz #in life #back door #jyp entertainment #kpop #music #kasin #review

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fourangers · 4 years

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Fate and Choices (ch.07)

Summary: When Naruto discovered who was going to be his soulmate, he jumped straight at this opportunity, looking forward to spending the rest of his life with his better half. Sasuke well…he was less eager in this regard though. NaruSasu. Soulmates tattoos. Explicit.

Warning: NaruSasu anal sex, blow job.

Chapter 06

AO3 link | ffnet link

--.--

He was definitely receiving some glowering in the train because of his constant leg shaking. Sighing, he adjusted on his seat, settling his leg down. Minutes later, his leg restarted shaking, and there were newer sets of eyes throwing silent judgements towards him, so he stood up, scratching his blond head.

He dearly hoped that what he had planned for this date would go well. He didn’t fill much in the itinerary, just enough so Sasuke wouldn’t get bored. While he was taking big breaths to calm his beating heart, he strode to the shopping mall’s entrance, 10 minutes earlier than appointed. Blinking, he recognized Sasuke’s back from afar, so he poked his shoulder. “Hey, you’re here already.”

Craning his head closer, Naruto noticed a moleskine on Sasuke’s lap, some random sketch of a crowd drawn on it. Sasuke shut it, putting on his pocket as he turned around with a nod of acknowledgement. “Just arrived too. Where are we going?”

“Watch a Kurosawa movie, Dreams. The coolest part of it is that a real orchestra will play the instrumental parts! When I read the news I thought you might like it.” He added, rubbing the back of his neck.

“This definitely sounds very interesting, but it’s not going to bore you though?”

“Which is why we’re going to an arcade after that.” Naruto grinned when Sasuke rolled his eyes with a half smile. “Hey, by the way, I saw some drawings in your notebook. Looks pretty cool. Can I see?”

Sighing, Sasuke placed the moleskine on his hand. “It’s nothing really.”

“Nothing…no way.” Naruto flipped through pages, with varied sketches of people, some plants, a cat and even a detailed face from an old man, shades portraying his weary expression with wrinkles. “Man, you’re always such a genius it’s infuriating. They look really good! You learned in college?”

“Hn, took some art classes. It’s a nice hobby now, to pass my time.” Sasuke put his moleskine back when Naruto returned to him.

“Hmmmmm, I can imagine you going to draw some nude models, and even some girls would offer private classes like ‘draw me like one of your french girls’. I should have taken some art classes too!”

“Moron. What about you? Any interesting extracurricular class you did while in college?”

Naruto thought for a while and replied. “Soccer, I played defense. We even organized going to college tournaments sometimes, brought some cheerleading and all that. Mostly for fun, and I still meet my old team from time to time to play.”

“In Tokyo?” Sasuke muttered incredulous. "Good luck finding a place like that."

Naruto laughed, conceding the point. "We found some indoor futsal courts, it's better than nothing."

“True. Figured you’d be the typical jock once you’re in college. At least you put your endless stamina to good use.” Sasuke smirked.

Naruto showed his tongue in response, though before Sasuke could come up with a sarcastic assessment, the movie theater’s lights dimmed and they focused on the movie. The movie was more boring than he expected, but Sasuke was enthused towards it so Naruto let it slide. Nevertheless, he made sure he’d win the competition in the basketball throwing arcade, because the bastard called him a jock so he better play this part after all. The date finished on a high note with a pleasant dinner and kisses as a side dish, Naruto was practically floating on the way home.

The following dates were equally as nice. This budding relationship with Sasuke was…an interesting process. It was like merging new facets of Sasuke since they didn’t maintain contact in crucial years, but in many other aspects, he was still the same Sasuke he knew since he was a kid. Naruto was also sure that Sasuke was going through this same process with him, which kept their dates engaging and comforting at the same time.

The only annoying part was the lack of physical contact. They would only kiss when there was a dark alley at some corner of the street, or when they booked an individual room at the restaurant, but it was short and mostly chaste so frankly it was getting frustrating for Naruto.

Things were so much easier when they were young and stupid, skipping some classes so they could go to the school’s rooftop, or go to Sasuke’s bedroom whenever his parents weren’t home to do what their impulses dictated. He even offered Sasuke to go to his apartment but the latter just dismissed him, citing he was tired or whatever. Bah.

Sasuke could feel Naruto’s impatience emanating whenever they were alone on their dates. Even when he kissed his dumbass, whenever he pulled back Naruto would grunt or whine how short it was, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to increase the duration of these kisses, getting lost in their passion, letting his hands caress Naruto’s back.

Then Naruto had the brilliant idea of going to some western style bar, claiming that it had the best handmade sake of all Japan and Sasuke had to try it. The moment they entered the establishment, he took a long look in the environment.

“Small tables for couples, dim lit room…you just dragged me here so we can make out, didn’t you?”

He smirked when the tanned face went engine red and Naruto sputtered. “W-what, no. C’mon you asshole, I’m really serious about the sake I was talking about, I thought you might like it.”

Sasuke hummed, the sardonic smile still in place. They sat at the appointed table, a fixed gaze thrown towards his dumbass boyfriend while Naruto mumbled their order. He glowered at the amused face Sasuke showed, kicking him on the knee and had the sadist joy of seeing the haughty look dissolving to a glare.

The silky sound of cello caught their attention, with the soft follow of piano and drums as the band played a jazz improv. With their faces closer, Naruto took all his time to observe Sasuke focused on listening to the music. His fingers wound up to part the dark fringes and put it behind the ear so he could see Sasuke’s sharp eyes, then he cupped the pale cheek.

Sasuke fixed his gaze back at him, letting the thumb caress his skin, both unaware that the waitress smoothly put their drinks on the table, bowing out in a second. He muttered, lips curling upwards. “So you did drag me just so you can kiss me all night long.”

Naruto rolled his eyes, smiling. “Part of the reason, maybe.”

He gradually approached, holding his face in place until they closed the gap, softly at first, but increased in intensity each time their mouths glided and parted. One of Sasuke’s hand gripped his hip, pulling him closer so Naruto could taste him better, their own drinks forgotten.

Naruto jumped when he felt something vibrating, Sasuke detached his lips with a wet smack, picking his smartphone with a short glance and ignored the call, sliding their mouths once again with a ragged moan. The smartphone was vibrating once again quite insistently so Sasuke released with one last lick, clearing his throat. “Sorry, must be pretty urgent.”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Naruto placed his hand over Sasuke’s, brushing over it while he took the call.

He couldn’t really understand the whole conversation, with the piano increasing its tempo and some cheers from the audience, but he could see Sasuke’s previous annoyed expression turning into a concerned one. Sasuke disentangled his fingers and patted Naruto’s head, muttering close to his ear that he needed to go to the toilet so he could have a quieter conversation. The blond man drank his mojito mildly peeved, the kisses were going so fine before this interruption. Sasuke soon returned, picking up his things.

“Sorry, I think I can’t stay very long.” He picked the sake cup, gulping half of it. “You’re right, it is quite tasty. But after I finish this, we gotta go.”

“Well, that’s…that’s too bad, what happened?”

“One of my college friends, I need to help her relocate to another town because her soulmate found her.”

“Whoa⏤! Seriously? That sounds pretty dangerous. Oh hey, I can call my aunt, she can pull some strings to help your friend if you want.” Naruto interjected, also grabbing his wallet, ready to go.

Sasuke blinked, then nodded. “I’d appreciate that, thanks.”

“Yeah, it’s no trouble.” Naruto called the waitress to pay their bill. “What happened to the poor girl, is her soulmate some yakuza or something like that?”

“No, but he has a history of abusing her. Actually…she was the first one really blatant case about how the Soulmate system failed her, because she’s transgender and she’s paired with a an idiotic transphobe.”

Naruto grimaced, scratching his head. “Wow…I don’t even know what I should say in this case. What about police and lawyers, they didn’t help?”

Sasuke scoffed, souring his expression. “The society in general is biased with the soulmate system, and you know that. Everywhere we went, the moment they knew she was fleeing from her soulmate they thought she was just prolonging the inevitable, that one day he’d see her ways and accept her for who she truly is.”

“And…did he?”

“No, he’s a son of bitch who believes that God above gave him this mission to teach her what is truly correct, so she should go back to her original gender. Fucking bullshit, and everyone that it’s not part of our circle of friends told that it’s her fate to show him otherwise, to help him grow and whatever more excuses that makes me want to vomit.”

“Well…but you know, I don’t know her very well, but maybe fate does⏤” Naruto clamped his mouth shut when he met furious dark grey eyes, his rage was so palpable that he could see even in the dark room.

“See?! That’s what I meant that this system sucks! Instead of doing any rational deliberation to reach a fair conclusion, people prefer doing this victim blaming. If she wants to open his eyes or change his mind should be her decision, and her decision only. No one should force her to do some bullshit epic quest just because they have matching tattoos.”

Huffing, he waited for the usual onslaught of excuses and half-assed explanations but Naruto just stared back with wide eyes. He then crossed his arms in contemplation.

Feeling a little unsettled from this lack of response, Sasuke lashed out. “What?”

Naruto did a double take from his hostility, but muttered. “No, I just thought⏤you’re right. I was being insensitive. I’m just trying to remember about it, like all the times in the past I may have done or said something insensitive like that. I’ll try to be more careful in the future.”

Oh. Sagging his shoulders, Sasuke said in a more neutral tone. “Sure. Thanks for listening to me.”

“Uh no. Thanks for showing me that I was wrong. Give me her name though, so I can ask around a way to help her out.” Naruto grinned and Sasuke could feel a load coming out from his back.

“Thank you.” The bill arrived so Sasuke picked up with a smirk. “I’ll pay this time.”

As they were going back to the subway, after much pestering and cajoling, Naruto managed to convince Sasuke to introduce him to his college friends one day. Sasuke accepted, as long as he could trade with seeing Naruto in the shortest shorts while playing soccer. The rest of their conversation was filled with teasing quips and the usual bantering.

⏤.⏤

How odd. For the past month since his older brother went to the Netherlands, he’d call almost every day to help him out managing their company, and to update all the latest news. However, as time passed on, there were some days he didn’t chime in, claiming he was busy, and the gaps between each call would get wider till Itachi didn’t talk to him for a week. There were some occasional convos through messages but his brother was becoming as cryptic as ever.

Frowning, Sasuke figured it was time to call him instead. The first call was ignored. So was the second. He waited an hour and called again. After the 5th time, Itachi decided to answer him, his voice airy and dazed.

“Ah, if it isn’t my wayward otouto-kun⏤”

Sasuke had to point out the obvious. “Wait, you’re the one who vanished for a week⏤”

“Anyways. How are you going with your dates with Naruto-kun?”

“Nii-san, I actually wanted to talk about something relevant…”

“Right, which are probably regarding some tedious subjects.” Itachi responded. “So at least humor me a bit before we go to that part.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sighing. “It’s been running very smoothly.”

“Why are you talking as if Naruto-kun is some sort of car?”

“Nii-san…” Sasuke warned.

“Right right. Go on.”

“So…it’s been nice, I’m enjoying his company.” It was almost like they went back to their teenage days, but with many added bonuses.

His older brother noticed his contemplative tone, and muttered. “You don’t sound so sure though.”

Sasuke sighed again. It’s just that, the fact that he was having so much fun going on those dates with Naruto was sometimes…unsettling. That maybe the soulmate system was right after all, finding his perfect lifetime partner that fit him perfectly.

He said, staring at the ceiling. “Sometimes I’m just surprised how accepting Naruto can be. You know my stance about the soulmate system, and you know how I’m against it right?”

“Sure, and then?”

“I guess in all the latest years, whenever I engage in any debate with anyone, I’d meet a lot of resistance. Sometimes people would just shut me down, wanting me to stop the conversation. But I kept forgetting that Naruto really listens to people and is willing to change if he’s persuaded enough.”

“That’s great, isn’t it?”

“Yes…it’s just…what if all of these is all fabrication from the Soulmate system, that makes Naruto more accommodating to me? What if⏤”

“You’re not seriously believing such a ludicrous idea?” Itachi exhaled loudly, shaking his head.

“I don’t know how much it manipulates both of us, how genuine it is.”

“This tattoo on your hand makes you paranoid and overthink like ‘oh, but maybe…’ and it’d be kind of amusing seeing your skirting around like some lost lamb, if only it wasn’t as tragic too. Have you ever considered that if it weren’t the fact that Naruto-kun is your soulmate, you’d just be thankful that you’re dating a thoughtful, open-minded man who is willing to change his opinion no matter how many curved balls you throw in his direction?”

Sasuke relaxed the grip on his cellphone, turbulent heartbeats calming down due to his older brother’s reassuring voice. “...well.”

“Then make your life simpler otouto-kun.” Itachi insisted. “Just be thankful and happy that you’re dating someone like that and you’re looking forward to seeing how your relationship with him will unfold.”

“…hn.”

“Let’s all agree with one thing, you’re not exactly an easy person to deal with and you should be thankful that Naruto-kun is the chosen victim of your choice.”

Sasuke scowled, then grumbled. “Naruto is not that perfect either.”

“Oh, pray tell me, why?”

“He got all sulky and refused to talk with me for more than a week just because I told him and I slept with some guys while I was in college.”

Itachi scoffed. “Otouto-kun, I am definitely not going to take your side.”

“You guys are all traitors. You, Neji, Naruto…”

“You made the bed, now you have to lay on it. Hm. Maybe literally.”

“We were supposed to talk about serious issues right.” Sasuke growled.

“Hm. And what would that be?”

Sasuke took a deep breath, dropping all the light mood aside. “Have you talked to our father lately?”

He heard some shuffling coming from the receiver, a small groan as Itachi answered. “No, I haven’t been talking with him since our last meeting. Why?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just that…he used to ask for a weekly financial report but he hadn’t done that lately.”

“Because the company is longer his.” Itachi interjected.

“Yes, true.” Sasuke thinned his lips. “It’s just that he’s been very quiet, I guess I’m worried now. Aside from work, he doesn’t have many friends and kept contact mostly with us, his family. And considering mom divorced him…”

“I guess you’re right. Have you sent him a message?”

Sasuke gave out an awkward grunt. “It’s weird sending him a message without a specific topic.”

“True.” Itachi agreed with a short chuckle. “Alright, I’ll try to contact him and you’ll talk with mom, ok?”

“Deal.” Sasuke conceded, relaxing his shoulders. “Talking about finance reports, you haven’t sent me this week yet and I really need it to show to one of our sponsors.”

There was a silence.

“Nii-san? You hearing me?” Sasuke frowned, putting his voice closer to the speaker.

“Hmm. Oh, I see. Today is Wednesday, I should have sent the report yesterday right.”

“…right…” Sasuke muttered back, his confusion increasing when Itachi returned to the dreamy airy tone from the beginning.

“It’s incredible how time flies when you find happiness otouto-kun. I cannot believe that it’s Wednesday already. How marvellous is this, having no such thing as time constraining us.”

“Uh…Nii-san, the report…?” Sasuke was getting ready to call 911 because his older brother was acting very out of character.

“I forgot.”

This time the silence came from Sasuke’s side out of sheer shock. “You forgot.”

“Yes.” Itachi confirmed in earnest. “Shisui-san and I went to Switzerland and all these gorgeous alpine mountains, that beautiful atmosphere that…”

“You forgot.” Sasuke muttered, realization dawning on his head. “Wait, did you talk with Takashi-sama and Nakamura-sama this Monday?”

“I rescheduled their meeting.”

“Ok, rescheduled to when?”

Itachi cleared his throat.

Sasuke felt a migraine coming up. He sighed. “Nii-san. Nii-san. Uchiha Itachi, you have a company to take care of. You have to work. Daily, might I add, in case you have forgotten.”

“Meyer.”

“What?”

“Itachi Meyer, will be my full name. Or maybe Itachi Meyer Uchiha, it does ring really nicely, don’t you think?”

Sasuke rubbed his eyebrows together, groaning. “Okay, your head is clearly all over the clouds, so I beg of you, at least, do some basic things like…talk to some of our sponsors. Show that you’re sound and alive.”

“Oh, I’m definitely alive.”

Sasuke cringed, shaking his head from the incoming images. “I’m surrounded by fools, that’s what I am.”

“I really can’t wrap up my mind how on Earth I delayed this for so long. The act of consummating our love Sasuke, just the act⏤”

“I don’t want to know.” He seriously don't want to hear his sibling's sex exploits, he wanted to die.

Itachi ignored him. “Just the act…was almost like some sort of religious experience.”

“I seriously don’t want to know and I don’t know why you’re still talking.”

“Ah otouto-kun, when I⏤” Sasuke hung up. Not one second later, Itachi called again. “As I was saying, when I⏤” Sasuke hung up again and ignored the following calls, putting on silence.

Unfortunately Itachi barreled him with thousands of messages, from all sorts of social media, complaints about how unjust he was, how he should let Itachi freely express how much he loved his soulmate, even baited Sasuke asking about numbers in their stock market.

He then saw that Naruto was calling him, and listened to a very confused tone coming from the blond man. “Ooookay, your brother called me. Something like he’s really sorry that I’m your soulmate and how heartless you are and he asked for you to call him or else. Whatever that means.”

“Nii-san found his soulmate, spent some weeks with him and apparently this is more than enough to lose every brain cell he has available. Does falling in love have such catastrophic results? He used to be the smartest man on Earth. Now I don’t even recognize this idiot that has the voice and the same name as my supposed older brother that I used to admire.”

Naruto laughed. “Oh, c’mon, he’s in a honeymoon phase, just let him. Unfortunately we didn’t have that right? We jumped straight to angry sex.”

“Hn. Ah yes, the fated day about our first time, that it ended up with me topping you.”

“What? No, the fuck. I topped you.”

"You have a terrible memory, usuratonkachi, obviously I topped you first."

“You’re such a liar. Fine, back when your family went on a long vacation and there were only me and you in the house, I topped you mostly.”

“Sure, mostly. Not the first.”

“Because you were all nervous and I didn’t want to hurt you! So I have to show you how to take a dick like a champ.”

“In other words, I. Did. First.” Sasuke smirked.

“‘Cuz I was considerate, you asshole! It doesn’t count! I was almost there!”

“You can twist how much you want about the tale of events, but you can’t change history.”

Sasuke heard a string of mumbles and cursing from Naruto until he huffed loudly. “Alright, I don’t know why am I even wasting my time talking to you when I gotta work.”

“Oh, fleeing, the cowardice ch⏤”

“BYE.”

Sasuke chuckled when the call was cut off, his mood improving exponentially. His older brother’s words resonated in his mind; Naruto was an attentive man. He really needed to start letting his walls down.

⏤.⏤

“Hey Sasuke. I’ve been thinking.”

They were getting back from a L’arc en Ciel show they both enjoyed, the energy settling down after such intense music. Sasuke just grunted back, a cue for Naruto to continue his line of thought.

“So you have good reasons to be against the Soulmate system right? Why did you help your older brother create a system that helps someone to find his soulmate then?”

Sasuke took a moment in contemplation and replied. “Well, first of all, Nii-san is the idealistic one, he wanted to use our clan’s powers to reach everyone in hopes it’d alleviate their suffering. I’m in this because even if I disagree with this system, I can’t stop people from searching for it. The least I could do is ensure that they wouldn’t fall in a trap.”

“Oh yeah, the fact that you guys would research if they have any criminal record and mental health history.”

“Yes, and if we found anything like it, we would warn our client beforehand.” He exhaled a tired breath. “Unfortunately most people would still go through this ordeal nevertheless.”

“Well, curiosity always gets the best of everyone. But it’s not like they all end up meeting their soulmate.” Naruto shrugged untroubled.

Sasuke nodded, studying him minutely and revealed. “To be honest, it’s giving me good money too. And I wanted to invest some of it to build a NGO to help people who have trouble with their soulmate and let their voices be heard for once.”

Naruto absorbed this explanation and brightened up, patting his shoulder. “That’s an awesome idea! I really hope you’ll be able to fulfill it.”

Sasuke felt his lips tugging upwards, crinkling his eyes. “Actually, I already founded with my mother, we planned that she’ll get in touch with the victims while I handle the rest. I just have to put everything in motion.”

“Well, if you need someone to promote your idea and spread the word I can help you out.” Naruto supplied, pointing to himself.

Sasuke snorted in disbelief. “Neji told me your salary, my organization can’t afford someone this expensive off the bat.”

“I’ll do it for free till you get enough sponsors.”

That made Sasuke stop on his track, eyes narrowing. “You’re not doing this just to appease me, are you?”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Seriously? I’d never do this just to kiss some ass, I thought you knew me better. I really think it’s a good idea and I’m aboard.”

Sasuke was understandably bewildered, no one aside his college friends wanted to help him out in this cause and Naruto just accepted this easily. “Why?”

Naruto glanced back, furrowing his eyebrows and formulated his thoughts better. “Like I’ve said, you really showed a different point of view, something I never noticed before. And I think since I have this ability to promote a good idea, so people like your trans friend would finally have some help, I should do it then. Change the society for the better.”

“I guess I’m just impressed, most people are much more resistant to seeing the soulmate’s system flaws than you.”

“I was resistant at first, for sure. I thought that back then, you ignored me only because of how your parents’ relationship was handled. However, you did give me valid explanations, valid examples to show that it’s not a perfect system. I do believe our relationship is going pretty good so far, Sasuke.” Naruto smiled and Sasuke felt his heartbeat increasing. “But now I’m not going to generalize and believe that everyone with their soulmates has something similar to this. And to those who unfortunately fell into a toxic situation, I want to help them out.”

While there was no word exchanged except the calm steps echoing in the deserted street, Sasuke gazed at Naruto in awe, almost as if he was looking at his childhood friend for the first time in his life. Reflecting and relieved that for once, after many years, he was glad that Naruto was his chosen one. He stopped when they arrived in his building, mumbling his voice raspy. “Well, I live here.”

“Oh!” Naruto exclaimed. “Aw, that’s too bad, I wanted to talk with you more.”

Swallowing, Sasuke said. “You can go with me, to my apartment.”

Naruto.exe stopped working.

“It’s just an invitation, nothing more.” Sasuke grumbled, practically seeing all the dirty thoughts emerging from Naruto’s head.

“…sure, yeah. Uh-huh.” Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, grinning widely. Sasuke grabbed his hand with a sigh, as he unlocked the security system. Naruto just let Sasuke drag him with a permanent beam, squeezing his hand as emphasis while blue eyes glowed in glee.

Sasuke’s apartment was roughly the same size as Naruto’s, with minimalistic design and some traditional Japanese decoration sprinkled here and there. Before Sasuke could go to his kitchen to get some water, his cellphone chimed.

“It’s my friend, the trans one. She promised she would call me once she finished moving to another town. I’ll take the call really fast. Feel free to look around, but don’t break anything, you hear me?” Sasuke warned.

“Yeah yeah. So much faith on me.” Naruto shooed him, so with a last glare, Sasuke went to his bedroom.

Naruto noticed that instead of a bigger bedroom like his, there was an extra space for an office. He turned on the lights, impressed by the array of books, mostly classical literature, some about marketing, others regarding the Soulmate system. He let his fingers slide through each spine, picking one title or another, but putting back just as quickly. One tall book caught his attention, placed in a corner. It was larger in size but thinner in number of pages, black leathered cover. Curious, Naruto opened the book.

It was a drawing of him.

His heart jumped to his throat, so Naruto carefully turned another page, revealing another sketch of him, but in another angle, this time looking thoughtful. Another page, another drawing depicting him. The lines were rough and unsure, but he could definitely recognize himself in those pictures. As he was leafing through those drawings, details were added, with more depth and added expression confirming that all of these sketches were of himself looking in teenage years. He halted, staring at his grinning face doodled on the creamy paper.

“Good news, she’s safe and sound in anoth⏤” Sasuke widened his eyes, yanking his sketchbook out of Naruto’s hands and slammed shut.

Naruto’s jaw was still agape, managing to form a sentence. “Uh. Your drawings?”

Sasuke tamped the urge to throw it through the window, absolutely denying its existence.

The blond man continued in an attempt to ease the situation, mumbling. “They look…really good.”

Sasuke tightened his fingers on the edges, eyes straying to the ground.

Biting his lower lip, Naruto scratched his head. “Are they…”

“Yes.”

“…oh.”

Sasuke appeared very reluctant to say any other word, torn in between ripping those pages apart or just putting it back on the shelf. Naruto couldn’t also meet his eyes, and after many uncomfortable minutes, he decided it’d be better if he left the room.

“I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

At this sudden revelation, Naruto swiveled his head around, peering towards his soulmate.

“At first I thought; it couldn’t be helped, we were practically attached to the hip since we were kids. Then it just kept getting worse. And worse. So much worse.” Sasuke croaked out, voice tired and heavy. “There wasn’t a day I wouldn’t picture you in my head and wonder how you were doing and there wasn’t one night where I would sleep before remembering your face.”

Naruto’s hands soon reached to touch his face, brushing the alabaster skin lovingly. “Sasuke…”

However, he picked those hands and stirred away. “This obsession wasn’t getting any healthier, so one of my friends suggested that I could practice sketching to release some stress, that’s all. I just…some days, when it was really unbearable, I guess I just drew you so I can expunge your image out of my mind.”

Naruto cupped his cheeks once again, soulful blue eyes raw and vulnerable that made his own heart ache in response.

When he opened his mouth, Sasuke hissed. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

Naruto rested his forehead onto his, whispering. “Why can’t I? I missed you too, just so fucking much. Every single day, just wishing that⏤” He sighed, connecting the last dots at last. “That’s why you never contacted me, even blocked me out. You kept reading about bad cases about soulmates and you were afraid you were going to be next. That the fact that you missed me is caused by some power coming from the soulmate system.”

“What if it is?”

“Why are you so sure it’d be?”

“Why not?” Sasuke growled, blinking away incoming of tears. “All these years, every day before you reappeared in my life I kept thinking about you. It’s unnatural and the only reason it’d happen it’s because of this system.”

Naruto shook his head, voice pleading. “What about our feelings Sasuke? They don’t count?”

“I don’t⏤” Sasuke swallowed the bile on his throat, grumbling. “Just our emotions, it wouldn’t make sense.”

“Feelings don’t make sense Sasuke. Love…” Naruto saw a small flinch at the corner of his eye but pressed on. “Doesn’t make sense. You’re trying to rationalize, quantify it, because by using logic it gives the security you need, and I get it. I really do. But there’s no way this⏤” His mouth reached the trembled lips into a loving kiss and he muttered. “Is just caused because we’re soulmates. You know I’m right.”

Sasuke couldn’t utter any response back, feeling cornered, the book cabinet digging painfully on his back while Naruto’s warm body radiated close to his own. When those tempting lips grazed on his own, he insisted.

“No, stop.” He needed to organize his muddled mind, and he didn’t want distraction, especially since Naruto’s kisses always felt like home.

Naruto paused, his hands still holding his face though his lips so close to Sasuke that he could almost lick it.

When his sketchbook fell to the ground with a dull thud, Sasuke could feel his last resolve crumbling away, fingers tangling on the golden hair. “You know that’s not fair.”

And just like that, this simple contact gave clarity to all the chaos brewing in his core that it almost made him light-headed. Their mouths interlocked perfectly, giving a surge of exhilaration when Naruto moaned low on his throat, tilting his head for another long kiss that even swayed his body backwards.

Sasuke sat precariously in one of the shelves, his legs widening to accommodate Naruto’s body, while his lips just hungered to taste more. Naruto detached for a second with Sasuke’s mouth following after, groaning in displeasure. Half-lidded blue eyes gazed onto his, wordless communication exchanged in an infinite second, before Naruto dove in once again, capturing his thin lips for another heart-stopping kiss.

He felt hands caressing his chest, gliding down to his stomach. Naruto’s fingers ghosted over his crotch, almost as if he was unsure whether he should do this. Sasuke buckled forward, fully touching his hand over his hardening dick. Through this confirmation, Naruto continued to kiss him, hand rubbing on the clothed cock over and over, scratching and feeling the long rod on his palm.

Sasuke released his lips, yanking out the orange shirt as his lover returned in kind. Breathing heavily, he let Naruto unzip his jeans, hands fondling his ass while Naruto let his nose nuzzle on the silk boxers, darkened eyes staring towards him as the devilish tongue licked the base. Oh God, he missed this so much…his senses were overloading, hypersensitive to his lover’s touch.

When Naruto pushed his jeans and boxers down, lips encasing on the head of his cock, Sasuke keened, body curling around the blond head. Naruto didn’t waste one second teasing him, mouth bobbing up and down, tightening in the exact spots that flooded this pleasure into him. Skilled hands rolled his balls, throat vibrating from Naruto’s moan, eyes locked while he continued to swallow his cock.

Sasuke stared wide-eyed, fingers gripping on the golden strands of hair. There was always something erotically mesmerizing seeing Naruto’s head between his legs, full lips wrapping around his cock. His tongue traced over the vein and ridges, pressing on the foreskin and sucking the pre-cum gathered on the slit. He picked up speed while he tightened around his hard-on, Sasuke’s senses were going haywire being engulfed inside that hot and wet mouth.

Out of nowhere, Naruto stepped back.

Sasuke screamed, feeling murderous. “You dumbass⏤!”

“I gotta find any kind of lube or something like that. I’ll be right back.” Naruto dropped a swift kiss, exiting the room. Sasuke could not believe that this moron actually left him hanging like that. He followed behind, eyes fixed on that round ass (that for some infuriating reason was still clothed). He was still hard and Naruto was scrambling through all the kitchen cabinet and top shelves, so Sasuke slapped his ass.

“Ow!” Naruto turned around with a scowl, and felt a cold sensation on his hand. He noticed he had a small bottle of olive oil, Sasuke pulled him closer to ignite another urgent kiss, sitting on the counter.

With one hand holding his creamy thighs, Naruto then gripped his hard-on, sliding through the shaft, a warm breath teasing over his sensitive head. He felt long fingers clutching his golden hair, tilting upwards to see fiery dark eyes. Without breaking their stares for a second, Naruto licked the slit, tapping around the edges before taking his cock, taking a dark perversion how Sasuke face contorted in hazy pleasure, engulfing more of the whole length with each push and pull.

Naruto somehow managed to cover his fingers with olive oil, placing it back on the table. He pulled Sasuke downwards to expose better the entrance, one digit entering and meeting resistance. He let his thumb rub the perineum, massaging gently till Sasuke was getting used to his touch. It’s been so long he had done this, letting these fingers invade in him and inciting him to let out a long moan. The first knuckle moved past the tight ring, he clenched around it in reflex before wielding his body to relax.

Naruto continued to tap inside, curling and twisting patiently, his mouth occasionally playing with his cock, slurping around the reddened head as the finger breached inside completely. He began brushing on the prostate, eliciting goosebumps all over Sasuke’s skin, making him gasp in surprise. His moans were growing in volume and length while his lover continued to stimulate his prostate and perineum, finger thrusting in an increasing pace, another one joining in.

Sasuke screamed once Naruto’s mouth engulfed his cock, fingers still spearing in his entrance at a blurry speed. At some point he realized that Naruto wanted to drive him to completion with just anal stimulation, however Sasuke craved for so much more.

He gasped, heels digging on the shoulders. “Naruto⏤!”

Blue eyes blinked from wanton fire, dick dislodging from his mouth. He glanced back at Sasuke, before straying his gaze to the ground, clearing his throat. “Um…but I gotta go buy some condoms.”

Sasuke stared back bewildered, before knitting his eyebrows in indignant fury. “What the fuck Naruto, I’m fucking clean.”

The blond man groaned, knowing that this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. “I’m just going through safety methods to avoid diseases, you were the one who slept with other guys.”

Sasuke curled his hands into a fist, resisting the urge to knock his teeth out. He didn’t curb the bitter tone in his voice though. “I only did it in my first year, in the first months, all with protection because I’m not fucking dumb. And even after that I did a very thorough medical exam so sorry if I have to dig through mountains of dusty files to show you whatever the fuck you want to satisfy your stupid jealousy.”

Somehow this confession felt very off-place that Naruto even forgot that they were in the middle of foreplay. He tilted his head to one side mumbling. "Why did you have sex with some guys only in your first months?”

“Does that matter?” Sasuke growled.

“You could definitely have a harem in your disposal, seeing that you're well…you could have one different guy every night, so why?"

Sasuke grumbled very loudly, staring at his wilting erection and really wishing Naruto could go back to what really interested him. "It's nothing, and thanks for painting me as some sort of man-whore who wants to sleep around given any chance."

"I was just saying as an example.” Naruto insisted, curiosity piqued. “You're hot Sasuke, and I know I'm lucky that you chose me to date you. So why?"

"I was picky, let's move on." Sasuke captured Naruto’s lips with his teeth, indulging in another deep kiss where he hoped it’d occupy his dumbass’ mind.

Naruto didn’t take the bait, muttering between smacks of lips. "To the point that you'd only⏤"

"I thought we were having sex, dumbass." His dick deserved a medal now, how the fuck did it manage not to go soft after all these intermissions?

Naruto blinked. "Right, but I'm curious."

Huffing, Sasuke raised his eyes heavenward, feeling a sudden chill on his nubile body, all the previous erotic estimulation gone now. Naruto kissed him softly, almost as an apology before he asked again.

“I’m curious.”

“I told you it’s nothing.” Sasuke growled, his hands itching to just grab the blond head and make Naruto deep-throat his cock.

“If it’s nothing, where’s the issue about you telling me?”

“I swear to God you absolute moron, my dick is right here, waiting for you⏤”

Naruto shook his head, exhaling tiredly. He admitted in a quiet voice. “I just⏤are those guys that special that you’d restrict yourself with only them or⏤”

Sasuke was almost at his wit's end, exclaiming. “Naruto, are you really going with the jealous boyfriend bullshit, I swear to God…”

“I’m sorry, I⏤” Naruto shuffled uncomfortably, looking guilty. “I’m not that mature knowing that you had other guys in the past. I don’t think I want to hear how you were romantically involved with someone el⏤”

“I wasn’t involved with anyone, it was just one-night stands. I swear.” Sasuke assured, adding with a hard kiss on his lips.

Gradually, fingers reached to cup his face, Naruto murmured unsure. “Well, then…why⏤”

Sasuke gazed upon his lover’s azure eyes, a shade of hesitancy and distress. Confessing his last secret would crumble the last barrier he had built all over the years against his soulmate but…Naruto deserved this. Inhaling, Sasuke shut his eyes, declaring.

“I missed you. Okay?”

Naruto focused his vision on Sasuke, his emotions being mixed between confusion and elation.

Sasuke pressed on. “I missed you, and I needed to forget you badly. No matter what. I thought that it would work but…” He heaved loudly, glaring to the ground and grumbled. “Well, that’s why I settled by drawing your fucking dumbass face.”

Naruto just gawked back, his brain taking time to compute and absorb all this new information. As the silence kept stretching Sasuke snapped. “What?”

But those stupid wide blue eyes only stared back at him before, much to his indignation, Naruto let out a bark of laughter. That moronic dumbass, he expected that Naruto would at least look relieved.

“What?!” Sasuke snarled.

“No it’s just that…” Naruto chuckled again, grinning. “I keep forgetting your very weird and twisted ways to show affection.”

That’s it, he should have settled jerking himself off instead of getting involved with this moron. Sasuke clobbered over the blond head. “You dumbass, I don’t even understand why I’m attracted to you stupid aaaaah⏤!!!” He screamed when a thick cock impaled him out of nowhere, buried to the hilt.

Naruto started thrusting in that tight hole, a feral smirk adorning his face. Lips reached to a fleeting connection, breaths accelerating as Sasuke clutched their bodies closer with his arms, growling. “A little warning usuratonkachi.”

Naruto chuckled, whispering wicked words. “But you like some burn, don’t you?”

Frowning, Sasuke silenced him with another kiss, letting this ecstasy pile up as Naruto continued to thrust inside him. He enjoyed reigniting these lost sensations, the hot member stretching him wide, but still snuggled tight that he could feel the bumps and ridges every time this cock plunged in.

Naruto was taking his time in getting reacquainted to his body, like a musician tuning his instrument he hadn’t used in a while. He replayed all the familiar spots, exploring them once again and heightening in this sinful composition that made Sasuke writhe and moan helplessly.

There was absolutely no comparison to all previous sex trysts he had done with other men. All the uninterested touches, mechanical movements were just some bleak, monocolor passage of time that put him off in an instant.

Sex with Naruto was always an extraordinary, almost time-bending event that consumed his soul completely. Seconds flew by but also stretched indeterminate when he drowned in this ecstasy, myriad of colors flashing through his eyes while their bodies were locked together.

Naruto pulled away only till the tip was in, before thrusting deep inside Sasuke with a groan, savoring how his lover shivered in response. Mouths meshed together, fervent, passionate and greedy, tasting the unique flavor of his lover.

Sasuke managed to wheeze out. “Bedroom…” He let out an uncharacteristic yelp, his arms clutching on the broad back when Naruto held him by his buttocks, cock burying even deeper in his hole. He moaned when hips thrust several times, but Naruto shuffled in the general direction of his bed, bodies linked yet.

Two more stumbles here and there, Naruto managed to throw him to bed, laughing. “Oh, thank God your bedroom is nearby, I’m actually not that strong ya know.” Sasuke just kissed him, too used to his shenanigans.

In a wild second, Sasuke wished he’d kiss those smiling lips for the rest of his life. His brain panicked though, reminding him how a flawed system linked them together. Fortunately this negative thought didn’t linger, with their mouths matching, overlapping and gliding together in a swimming giddiness.

Sasuke turned around with the intention to be taken behind but a hand halted him, making his eyes focused back on Naruto’s smile.

“Hey…I wanted to see you.” He muttered, giving another kiss in reassurance.

Sasuke’s upper body faced forward, his legs settling to one side though. While he was holding his cock with one hand, Naruto aimed and began penetrating him once again. There wasn’t one moment their mutual gazes would waver, blue eyes stared affectionately towards dark grey ones, as Naruto picked up speed while Sasuke rolled his hips to match this rhythm.

He was tilting closer, almost as if he craved to be completely merged into Sasuke’s that, at some point, he laid down next to Sasuke, one tanned hand cradled his head, another one caressed his face. Sasuke’s right leg was wrapped around Naruto’s hip, tanned left leg thrown over his body, Sasuke’s fingers clenching tightly to bring impossibly close to him, limbs tangled till he could not see where was the end or beginning of their bodies. Once Naruto tilted his hips to restart his thrusts, Sasuke’s whole vision was fixated in this exquisite face, full of intense hunger and warm tenderness. Every inch of his skin was covered by his lover’s body, cock pulsating inside him repeatedly.

He felt so full.

Those overwhelming emotions settled in his heart, igniting bright embers that threatened to throw him over the edge. Naruto then curled his hand around his cock, pumping it while his lips tried for another kiss, though it just bumped while they were both breathing faster, thrusts increasing till it lost all pacing as they both reached their orgasm.

Sasuke cried out, shuddering while his cum drizzled on Naruto’s hand, soiling the sheets. Two more plunges Naruto locked in, hugging Sasuke tightly while he released inside him. They heaved for long minutes from aftershocks, their eyes focused on each other nonetheless.

Once he settled enough, Naruto was first to kiss Sasuke’s forehead, yawning and shutting his eyes, arms enveloped around his body.

And in this miraculous second, instead of being bombarded by second thoughts or reluctance, Sasuke succumbed to his desires, cheek nuzzling the blond hair as he also called the night.

Chapter 08

⏤.⏤

AN: Hooray for butt-sex! I gotta be honest, I just created this whole fic to write this sex scene. I hope you guys will like it lmao. (and please review)

#NaruSasu #snstext #sns fic #sn fic #lemon #drabble

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cruzrogue · 5 years

Text

Lame Party

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 14 “I can’t come back.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:PG

Warnings/Tags: Fluff

Summary: As the chapter name suggests Felicity leaves a lame party. Meets Oliver sometime latter and saves him from ever going to that party.

Notes:Fluffy college kids meet for the first time and its seems that they're destined to remain in each other lives forever.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Lame Party on A03

“The party is so lame, I’m out of here.”

Oliver is driving towards the party house. He needs to get his mind off his impending doom of expulsion. He’s grades suck. Turning a corner, he sees a girl who seems to be sitting on the curb of a nice parking space. “Hi.” He calls out.

“Hey back.”

“Are you saving a spot for someone?”

She looks around and then at the car and sways her head no. “You want to park here?” Seeing that question doesn’t need an answer gets up from her spot and she waves her hand to have him parallel park into the spot.

“Yea, like to go to that party at that red house down the street.”

“Oh, just left it, lame party.”

“Really?”

“Yea, music sucks.”

He looks at her goth look and wonders how true it is. “How about you go back with me and if it truly is lame, I’d take you home.”

“I can’t come back.” She gives him a serious look and he is able to coax her in coming back even without stepping out of his car.

“It’s surely is better than sitting on the sidewalk on a chilly October night.”

“I guess, and you don’t need to win me over I said I’d go in with you.”

He looks at the feisty girl, he shouldn’t be super surprised her goth outfit screams spirited and gutsy packaged in nice velvet leather and lace. It is her eyes that got his attention. He loves how light pale blueish they seem with the heavy eye makeup.

“Come on, I’m Oliver by the way.”

“Megan. So what school do you go to?”

He groans loudly. He really doesn’t want to talk about it. Now that he is out of the car he notices how short she is.

“Wait! You’re not one of those guys who just goes hangs at college parties without being in one just to pick up girls?”

“What no!” He just standing there rigid as he looks down at this petite head banger. “I’m still a college student.”

She gives him a weird look. “What do you mean still?”

“Ah! You know what, I don’t need to be grilled hence why I’m going to a party.”

“A lame party.”

“So you say. You probably only listen to metal. I’m good with all other types of music.”

“Ouch.” She places her hand to her heart. “Mr. preppy pants is frustrated.”

“This might be my last party because I’m just gonna give up so let me lick my wounds and go enjoy whatever type of party this is.”

“Wow, that just so sad. A last hurrah because you give up? I mean yea I don’t know you but I think you should expect more out of yourself.”

He can’t believe he is having this depressing conversation on a sidewalk somewhere in South Boston. Yet, he is totally interested in talking to this non-sunshine on a cloudy day girl. She’s kind of rocks this darkness that he internally feels but when she talks she’s strangely bubbly for her getup. He can’t help but look her over again. Yea he may go to this party now and look for a hookup instead of just getting smashed.

“Hate that I can see how you are processing. Hence you’re failing out of school and your objective is to party.” He shrugs. “What you need is to study and get yourself a good tutor and stop with the mopping it’s so unbecoming.”

“I’m not mopping.”

“It’s so cute that you don’t even know you are doing it. Some call it brooding but with your baby face and shaggy preppy floppy hair I’ll stick to the yuppie version.”

“You think you are so smart…”

“I’m actually a certified genius but we aren’t talking about me.” She gives him a devilish smile.

“No doubt maybe we should circle around and talk about you.”

She shrugs she’s bored and sitting outside waiting to see if her friend will finally leave and take her back to their dorms.

“What would you like to know Oliver?” Emphasizing the last syllable of his name.

He closes the small gap between them and he can feel her shiver. Her hot looking outfit leaves a lot of gaping holes where the chilly air seeps through to her very porcelain colored skin. “How cold are you?”

“Hey I have a warm heart. I’m not obnoxious.”

“Never said you were; I’m asking how uncomfortably cold you are on this chilly night?”

She now notices that she is shivering, “Oh! I’m kind of cold.” They’re really close now and just whispering to each other

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this but…” He waits until he has her full attention. “If the party is that lame maybe a good tutoring session by a genius could help me?”

“Hmmm. That sounds interesting? What would I get out of it?” His face descends bringing his lips closer to hers and she takes the intuitive and closes the gap. It takes a car horn down the street to have them break apart as both are left breathless.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

“That is how I met your mother.”

“Can you believe that your father went on to continue his education to get a masters in core courses of a postgraduate business degree.” She kisses Oliver. “My super sexy smarty pants.”

“Awe gross!” Their kids whine out loud.

“That is why we want all of you to do your best. Education is no laughing matter. It not only opens up your mind but when you’re out there in school the bonds you make with others can carry you in a lifetime journey that one day you’d share with your children, my grandbabies.”

“As excited as your mom is… no babies! You three are still way to young.”

Felicity rolls her eyes. “Oliver? Doubt that they even had those thoughts of adding to the family our eldest is now turning to a preteen in a few months.”

“Well it’s never too early to instill that they should live full lives. It took us years after of we got married to add to the family.”

“Yes, our choice they may want to start earlier…” She looks at Oliver’s terrified face. “Honey. Their still kids but I want them to know no matter what they make their own choices.”

“Okay but let’s not push them to grow up so soon.”

The kids are just watching the yoyo conversation between their parents. It takes the eldest to distract them. Listening to this particular story which they’ve heard many times over with different slight versions. Like this time, they learn something new and their eldest has picked up on it.

As their eldest son asks, “When did mom tell you her real first name?” They have always known their mother as Felicity Smoak Queen.

“Well that is its own little story.” He looks to his wife as those sweet memories fill his mind.

#fictober19 #felicity smoak #oliver queen #olicity

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welcometothepenumbra · 6 years

Text

JUNO STEEL AND THE LESSON LEARNED (PART TWO)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra. Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

The junction lies just ahead, Traveler. If you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

(CHUCKLES) Well, next stop? Hyperion City.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Detective Steel entered the Fortezza trying to prevent a murder. But the way this case is going, he might soon be the victim of one. A serial killer from twenty years ago has set her sights on our detective, and if she wins, her murderous curriculum will be renewed.

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES. DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

Our next stop: Juno Steel and the Lesson Learned.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

MICK: Hey, Jay?

JUNO: Yeah, Mick?

MICK: How come it feels like every time I see you we get trapped in some lunatic’s crazy murder-game?

JUNO: I don’t know, Mick. Just lucky, I guess.

MUSIC: STARTS.

MICK: Yeah. Now that you mention it… I think you might have pretty bad luck, Juno.

JUNO: Me?!

MICK: Yeah! I mean, the Proctor locks us up, gives us both guns, and says we’ll have to shoot each other if she’s gonna give us the antidote to the-the-the whatyacallit, the-the Sundial Toxin?

JUNO: Hourglass Venom.

MICK: Ha, that’s a good one, Jay, but I’m pretty sure it’s Hourglass Venom, like I said.

JUNO: That’s not what you—

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

PROCTOR (FROM COMMS): That’s enough bickering, Mr. Steel, Mr. Mercury. Now, your test is just down this hall. Onward! Education awaits.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The attic of the Fortezza was a condemned cell block from back in the days when this place was for sealing criminals away – not rewarding them. In a lot of ways it reminded me of my old wedding gown: it was dusty, smelled like a lot of dreams had probably died in it, and pushed off into a dark corner somewhere in hopes that everyone would just forget the damn thing ever happened.

And the worst of it all was the tenant here: the Proctor, a fame-seeking serial murderer who’d just come out of retirement and was making up for lost time. First, she planned to kill Mick and me with Intro to Chemistry, and then in two hours she’d move on to the first candidate for mayor in fifty years who might actually try to make this city a better place.

That guy’s name was Ramses O’Flaherty. And my name’s Juno Steel. I’m a private eye. And right then I was the only thing standing between Ramses and death. And me and death.

MICK: (WHISPERING) Psst! Hey, Jay!

JUNO (NARRATOR): And him and death.

MICK: Jayjay! I just thoughta somethin’!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I was usually the only thing standing between Mick and death.

MUSIC: ENDS.

MICK: This is, like, my moment, isn’t it? I took this job so I could prove that danger is what my life’s missing. And hey, this is very dangerous! That’s pretty lucky, I think.

JUNO: With luck like that, you should start investing in lottery tickets.

MICK: Hey, that’s not a bad—

JUNO: Don’t!

(QUIETLY) Can’t make that joke with him, Steel, he’ll really do it.

MICK: What was that?

JUNO: Alright, so you want to be a P.I. or a special agent or something?

MICK: I-I was thinking more like a superhero, but… I’m willin’ to work my way up.

JUNO: If you want to do this, you gotta be able to analyze your situation. So, they must’ve given you some training before they stuffed you in that uniform – didja pick anything up?

MICK: Uhhh, I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention.

JUNO: And, there it is.

MICK: Except… oh, oh!! They showed a map of the Fortezza! And I even memorized it!

JUNO: Wait, seriously? That’s perfect, Mercury!

MICK: You’re tellin’ me! And hold on, now, gears are turnin’, gears are turnin’…

Oh! Sweet shining nebula, Jay, I think my brain mighta just done a clue!

JUNO: We’ll clean that up later. This is great! If you remember how this old cell block is organized you should be able to get us to, I don’t know, a boarded up window or wall or something, and maybe we can break through—

MICK: This floor wasn’t on the map!

JUNO: …What?!

MICK: Yeah! They didn’t tell us anything about these floors during training at all! Heh. Wow, this Proctor really is smart, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve lost a room before, but losing two whole floors? You’d have to be, like, a genius to hide two whole floors from the people who own the building!

JUNO: I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. (SIGHS) I don’t know if that’s a sign of genius, Mick, but it’s definitely a sign of something.

MICK: Like what?

JUNO: Not sure yet. But I’ve got a hunch.

MICK: I mean, I didn’t want to say anything, but you should probably work on your posture, buddy.

JUNO: That’s not– nevermind.

(CALLING) Are we there yet? I’m tired and he keeps bugging me.

PROCTOR: Just one more door, Mr. Steel. That’s it… just ahead…

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Your next exam!

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

JUNO: Wow, more mannequins!

You shouldn’t have. We moving on to Art 102 now?

PROCTOR: No no, art is behind us. The three lessons you’ll have to pass today are the three Rs: Reasoning, Reading Comprehension, and… well, the last one’s a surprise.

MICK: Sure glad spelling isn’t one of them. I didn’t know surprise started with an R.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The test on Reasoning didn’t look like much. Four mannequins stood in front of us, each with a button on its chest and a tangle of wires snaking into its feet. But there was going to be a trick to it. There had to be.

PROCTOR: The mannequins are only half of the test. Are you ready for the second half?

JUNO: Depends. Is it four more mannequins?

MICK: Jay, that was kinda rude.

PROCTOR: No no, I’m afraid not. Now listen closely, because I’m only going to say this twice:

MICK: Twice?

PROCTOR: Sage, Vladimir, Aisha, and Sponge walked down the road together side-by-side, holding hands. Two wore shirts of red, and two wore shirts of blue; but none would stand next to another wearing the same color shirt.

JUNO: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

MICK: Who? What? Who??? What???

JUNO: It’s a puzzle, Mick. A stupid puzzle.

PROCTOR: It’s a very good puzzle. Now be quiet.

(CLEARS THROAT) Aisha, the baker whose shirt was red, held hands with only one other person. Sponge’s shirt was also red. Vladimir held hands with two people, one of whom was a detective; the other was Aisha. Sage could not tolerate anyone holding her right hand. Vladimir was not the murderer.

MICK: Well! That got exciting very quickly!

PROCTOR: Among them were a detective, a baker, a fortuneteller, and a murderer. If you do not find the murderer, they will kill everyone else in line – and they will kill you, too. (CACKLES) So tell me: which of these four mannequins is the murderer?

JUNO: This is what you got famous for? Seriously?

PROCTOR: I know! Very impressive, isn’t it? I’ll give you a tip: in a multiple choice exam, always be certain to eliminate silly answers before—

JUNO: It is not impressive! It’s the kind of thing they give to bored middle schoolers when the radiation storms are too bad to go outside for recess!

PROCTOR: So if you can’t solve it, detective, what does that make you?

JUNO: Too busy for this stupid—

MICK: Hey, wait a second, wait a second. You said you’d say all that twice, right? Can you say it again?

JUNO: You’re not really buying into this.

MICK: You said bored middle schoolers did these! And, well! I was a bored middle schooler for nearly five years!

JUNO: Mick, you repeated those grades ‘cause you never went to school.

MICK: Come on, Jay. I really need this. Please?

JUNO: Fine… fine, listen to the dumb puzzle again.

PROCTOR: (CLEARS THROAT) Sage, Vladimir, Aisha, and Sponge walked down the road together side-by-side, holding hands. Two…

JUNO (NARRATOR): While our host gave Mick the rerun of her stupid puzzle, I took this opportunity to investigate my feelings about the last few hours.

Stupid goddamn waste of time puzzles! What am I, some kinda—

MICK: Shh, Jay! I’m tryin’ to listen!

JUNO: Hmph.

PROCTOR: …Vladimir was not the murderer. There. Your last reading. Think carefully – and be sure to check your answers.

JUNO (NARRATOR): It wasn’t an easy puzzle, sure, but it was pretty typical crime scene investigation. Gather the clues, listen to the witnesses, rebuild the past. Hell, this was easier: these witnesses couldn’t even lie to you.

If Mick could solve this… maybe he had a point. Maybe danger was the missing ingredient in the Mick Mercury cocktail.

MICK: Hmm. I see.

JUNO: You… do?

MICK: I thought about it real hard. And my answer is… we press all the buttons at the same time.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Or… not.

PROCTOR: A very… interesting approach.

JUNO: Mick, seriously?

MICK: Yeah! I mean, I thought about the whole puzzle thing, but then I decided it was probably just a red herring. ‘Cause look at them all! They’re so weird and creepy! And I swear a second ago, I saw them all twitch or something, real murrrrderer stuff, so we gotta—

JUNO: They didn’t move, Mick. And the murderer is Sage, on the far right.

MICK: Well, I mean, yeah, that’s the obvious answer.

JUNO: Oh, yeah? Why’s that?

MICK: Because… uh…

(NERVOUS LAUGHING) I-I mean I-I don’t think I gotta waste both our– our time, tryin’ to talk through things we both already know, Jay—

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: Mick, where the hell are you going?

MICK: C-c-c-y-y-y… I-I… ‘cause– like, d-don’t you feel p-p-poisoned? Definitely feel poisoned, Jay; at– at least a little poisoned? So, I’ll just press this here button, and—

JUNO: Damn it, Mercury! That’s the wrong button!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS. THUD.

MICK: What gives?! You said far right! I was goin’ for the far right!

JUNO: You were going for our right, Mick. You need to go for their right.

MICK: No, I mea– I mean—! Well that’s just—!

(SIGHS) Yeah. Yeah okay, that’s reasonable.

SOUND: BUTTON CLICKS. CONGRATULATORY JINGLE PLAYS.

PROCTOR: Excellent job, Mr. Steel! You’ve passed your Reasoning exam with flying colors!

SOUND: HINGE CREAKS OPEN.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Above us opened another trap door, and, another ladder fell out. The top floor. Finally. And with an hour to spare.

MICK: Whew! So, uh, good thing we made it through that one, huh… Juno?

…Jayjay?

JUNO: Give me your gun, Mercury.

MICK: …What?

JUNO: The gun the Proctor gave you. Give it to me.

MICK: But Jay – I’d never shoot you, you know that—

JUNO: You’d never shoot me on purpose, sure. But whatever the hell is up there for the Reading Comprehension test? Some monster made of goddamn books or something? You’re gonna aim for its table of contents and shoot me straight through the epilogue.

MICK: But Jay, we always got into trouble and it was always fine—

JUNO: Yeah, when we were kids. You’re forty, Mick. You’re not a kid anymore! You’re a screw-up, and this stupid danger idea of yours is going to get me killed. Now give me your gun.

MICK: I’m a… screw up?

JUNO: Don’t. You say it about yourself all the time.

MICK: Yeah, but… it’s different hearing it from, uh… Alright.

SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING.

Here’s the gun.

JUNO: Thanks. Now let’s go.

SOUND: ROPES CREAKING.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I didn’t mean to snap at Mick like that.

Well actually I did mean to, but I felt bad about it, at least. And that's gotta be worth something, right?

Anyway, I didn’t have time to let my conscience have the floor. I could already feel the Hourglass Venom working through me – I could feel my head bloat and stomach throb. It would kill me soon. And just a few minutes after that, it’d kill Ramses.

MICK: (COUGHING) Ah, jeez buddy, I… really don’t feel so good.

JUNO: Yeah, a fatal dose of poison’ll do that to you. (COUGHS)

MICK: I guess in some ways we’re lucky, though. Back in the day I remember her tests were all over the news, and they were so…

There was that guy she killed with a geometry test… I’ve never seen someone’s legs go at that angle before. Or the Phys Ed case: the lady she made run so hard she wore holes in her feet. Or, the worst of all… Home Economics. What makes a person do all that, Jay?

JUNO: Who the hell knows, Mick. It’s not my job to psychoanalyze the killers. I just lock ‘em up.

PROCTOR: Then allow me, detective: raw creative genius. The greatest minds in the world are overtaken with it – the need to build, to create. When one is as skilled as I am, it simply… overtakes you. I am but a slave to the Muse within me.

MICK: But… that doesn’t make any sense.

JUNO: Mick, stop humoring her already.

MICK: No, but it doesn’t make any sense! If she’s got this creative bug or whatever, why should she wait twenty years—

PROCTOR: The Muse cannot be tamed!

(CHUCKLES) > Those old murders were excellent, of course. Nobody’s ever thought of all the applications for a protractor that I have. But genius, like wine, only improves with age.

JUNO: Unless the container’s as cracked up as you are. Then it turns into vinegar.

PROCTOR: I am not vinegar! You’ll see. This is a new era for the Proctor. My second creative career begins with you. And it will be even greater than the first. Go. The Reading Comprehension test is just through that door.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

MICK: (YELPS)

JUNO: …Wait, seriously?

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

PROCTOR: Deadly seriously, of course! (CACKLES)

JUNO: It’s just… sixteen more mannequins.

PROCTOR: Just sixteen mannequins, he says! Hasn’t anyone ever taught you to read the directions first?

MICK: Hey, Jay! There’s a paper on this table that says “Reading Exam Directions!”

JUNO: Don’t—! Touch it.

SOUND: PAPER FLIPPING.

“Davis, Major, Anya, Jean, Cobweb, Hephaestus, nine of their friends, and Sponge were walking down a road side-by-side, holding hands—” (GIGGLING)

MICK: I mean, Jay, that is a pretty wide road, but I don’t see what’s so funny—

JUNO: This is the best you’ve got, Proctor? Seriously? Twenty years to think something up and you start writing crossword puzzles?

PROCTOR: They are not crossword puzzles! They are works of logical genius, designed to test your…

JUNO: Ha!

PROCTOR: Stop laughing!

JUNO: HA!

MICK: Heyyy, uh, Jayjay, maybe don’t piss off the killer lady so much—

JUNO: No, come on, Mercury, this puzzle is hilarious. Listen to this: “Thompson had a deadly nut allergy, but none of them knew Anya very well. Major often confused Sponge with one of their friends in a yellow shirt; Cobweb was known to fingerpaint with peanut butter”—? (COUGHING)

PROCTOR: The test you’re laughing at is going to kill you, do you understand? And then who will be laughing? Time’s up! I will! D Minus!

MICK: If you’re laughing, you must have a plan, right? You know the solution to the puzzle?

JUNO: (COUGHING) ‘Course I do. Same as the solution to every test I ever passed in school.

MICK: Study hard? Apply yourself?

JUNO: No. Cheat.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC POWERING-UP BEEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I should’ve thought of it hours before. Getting rid of headaches is the point of technology, isn’t it? Or maybe that’s aspirin. Aspirin’s a kind of technology. Shut up, Steel. The point is, the Theia Spectrum had a filter for detecting electromagnetic frequencies.

THEIA: Now detecting electromagnetic frequencies.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Like that. The cables coming out of the mannequins’ feet had to be hooked up to all the other junk in here, didn’t they? All I had to do was track whichever mannequin had the cable that went back to the door and not… whatever the hell they were gonna do to us. It was hard to see through that rat’s nest, though… and even harder with all the shouting in my ear.

MICK: (COUGHING) Oh, Juno! The mannequins, they’re—

JUNO: Not now, Mercury.

MICK: But it’s just like downstairs, I’m trying to tell you that—

JUNO: You said you wanted to help, right? Well, y’know how you can help me now? By shutting up, staying still, and letting the goddamn professional do his job!

MICK: (WORRIED GROAN)

JUNO (NARRATOR): I found it in seconds: the mannequin three in from the left had a thick coil of wire extending from its feet, through the floor, and toward the door on the room’s far side. The other mannequins weren’t hooked up to any traps I could see – just a little glowing box on each of their chests.

When I thought about it later, I realized those were wireless transmitters. And when I thought about it later, I realized I probably shouldn’t have interrupted Mick, too.

MICK: Jay—

JUNO: It’s that one. Come on, let’s press the button and get the hell out of here.

MICK: I don’t know if you should get so close, Jay; I swear I saw ‘em move and—

SOUND: BUTTON CLICKS. CONGRATULATORY JINGLE PLAYS.

JUNO: There, see? Button’s hooked up straight to the door, now it’s open. Let’s– gahhh!

SOUND: WOODEN RATTLING & CLANKING.

MICK: Jay! The mannequins are moving!

JUNO: I can see that! This one’s got my arm!

MICK: And that one got your other arm!

JUNO: Gee, I had no idea!

PROCTOR: I educate you… I craft these tests for you with my own blood, sweat, and mannequins… and this is how you show your appreciation? You cheat?!

JUNO: Watch it, buddy, you’re gonna pull my damn arm off— ahhhh!

MICK: Oh, no, no, no! Don’t come any closer…

SOUND: RATTLING GETS LOUDER.

PROCTOR: Well, I suppose the last test will have to be cancelled. And too bad: I had an excellent plan for your ‘rithmetic exam.

JUNO: That doesn’t even start with an R, you has-been! AH!

PROCTOR: Perhaps not. But here’s another R for you: Recess!

MICK: Recess? Hey, that sounds kinda nice…

Wow, those things are movin’ quick!

PROCTOR: At Recess, all rules are suspended. Good luck, Mr. Steel and Mr. Mercury. Your classmates play rough.

SOUND: CACOPHONY OF WOODEN CLUNKS & BANGS.

MICK: Jay, what do we do?

JUNO: Personally, I think I say bye-bye to my arm, because it feels like Pinocchio over here’s gonna pull it out of its socket.

MICK: Seriously! Oww!

That one almost got me! I’d fend ‘em off for you, but you took my gun and—

JUNO: Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me! Just get the hell out of here, Mercury! I opened the door, you go without me. Maybe you can find the antidote on your own.

MICK: I’m not just gonna leave you!

JUNO: You’d better! Augh! The only thing I want less than for this wood shop project to rip me in two is to watch it rip you in two first!

MICK: But I can’t— oww!

JUNO: Just go before one of those things gets you!

MICK: I said I wasn’t gonna leave you!

JUNO (NARRATOR): And so in came Mick Mercury to the rescue, fists flying.

MICK: (YELLING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): And sure, it wasn’t exactly elegant—

MICK: Ow, ow, ow, ow, that smarts—!

JUNO (NARRATOR): —but it got the job done.

MICK: Hey, I got ‘em!

JUNO (NARRATOR): And there goes number two.

MICK: The other ones are getting closer!

JUNO: Make for the door, quickly!

SOUND: CLANKING NOISES FADE. PANTING, GASPING. DOOR CLOSES.

MICK: (COUGHING) That was a great idea, Jay… good on ya, closin’ that door behind us.

JUNO: Close it? I didn’t close it. I thought you did.

PROCTOR: Aaaaaaand locked!

SOUND: LOUD SNAP.

Did you really think I’d have remote controls on my mannequins and not on the doors, Mr. Steel? You underestimate my genius.

JUNO: To be honest, Proctor, I haven’t seen any evidence of it yet.

PROCTOR: Of course you have! I have accounted for every possibility! You have been outsmarted at every turn!

JUNO: (COUGHS) Funny. I remember us outsmarting you, twice so far.

PROCTOR: That’s—!

But you still haven’t passed the biggest test of all, have you? It is wise to save the most difficult questions for last, but… your hourglass is running low. Only ten minutes remain before the venom claims you, and only fifteen before I claim Ramses O’Flaherty. But you still have one test to pass: Arithmetic.

JUNO: Still doesn’t start with an R.

PROCTOR: The equation is simple, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you any hints on this one. You will find it written over the doorway you must pass through. And you will find the window you seek on its other side.

JUNO: What about the damn antidote?

PROCTOR: Oh, if you solve this test, Mr. Steel, you will certainly have found the antidote. Though I must say that’s a big “if.” Good luck.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

JUNO: Alright… alright, let’s do this stupid puzzle. I think I can feel my lungs curdling.

MICK: Uh… Jay? Did you look at this equation yet? ‘Cause… I’m a liiiittle worried.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I looked.

JUNO: Oh, god damn it.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And this was what the Proctor wanted us to solve:

A stick figure, minus a skull and crossbones, equals a picture of an open door.

MICK: Is that algebra? I was never any good at algebra.

JUNO: The door will only open when we’re not poisoned anymore.

MICK: Hey, that’s alright! How do we do that?

JUNO: I have no idea.

MICK: That’s… less good.

JUNO: Either that, or, the door will only open for someone who isn’t poisoned…

And we know one way to get the antidote.

MICK: Jay, come on, don’t…

JUNO: Here. Take this gun. I never should’ve taken it from you. Just shoot me and get it over with.

MICK: I mean, come on. This isn’t funny.

JUNO: Usually I’m very funny, Mick. Just not trying right now.

MICK: I’m not gonna shoot you.

JUNO: You should.

MICK: Well, whether or not I should, I’m not, alright? You shoot me.

JUNO: No.

MICK: Why not?

JUNO: That’s a stupid question and you know it. I know you’ve got your dumb danger thing or whatever, but it’s a fantasy, and this is real. Just take the damn gun already.

MICK: My whole point was that I didn’t like my life the way it was, alright? I’m not gonna like it any better if I gotta think about shooting you all the time, okay?

JUNO: Hmph.

MICK: Look. We’ve still got ten minutes for this to turn out okay. Okay?

(COUGHS) Anything can happen in ten minutes, Jay. Anything.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Or, nothing can happen in ten minutes. We spent our time kicking the door, coughing, searching the walls for a secret passage, coughing, scanning the room with the Theia Spectrum, and coughing. But that was it. No way through, no secret passage, no hidden antidote: the room was bare. Mick and I were the only things in it.

Oh wait – I think at one point, Mick might’ve puked in the corner. But besides that, there was nothing in the room but us.

SOUND: COUGHING, PANTING.

MICK: How much more time we got?

JUNO: Two minutes.

MICK: That long? (PANTS) Agh, this hurts.

JUNO: (GASPING) So whaddya think, Mercury? Is this how you expected to die? Yukking it up and wishing you’d killed Juno Steel?

MICK: Kinda, yeah.

JUNO & MICK: (LAUGH-COUGHING) Ow, ow, ow!

JUNO: So it turns out this job wasn’t just the biggest mistake of your life, Mick: it was the last one, too.

MICK: Hey, don’t count me out yet. I still got a minute and a hal– agh! Ah-ahhh—!

JUNO: Mick? Mick!

MICK: No, no, I’m alright, I’m alright. (COUGHS) Hey, Jay… why d’you think she goes through all this, just to kill people? I mean… if she wanted to just poison us and lock us in a room, she coulda done it at two minutes in. Hell, she didn’t even need to wait for you – she coulda poisoned me while I was napping in the closet. So… why? Why would you do all that?

JUNO: That’s… that’s a good question, actually.

Well, I mean, based on what was riling her up earlier, she probably just wants to prove she's smarter than us?

MICK: What? But she’s a genius! Why’s she gotta prove it?

JUNO: Being smart and feeling smart are different things, Mick.

MICK: I guess so. I just can’t believe… she cheated us, after all that.

JUNO: Cheated us?

MICK: Yeah. I mean, I thought her whole thing was that her victims can technically make it through her tests alive, right? How’s it prove she’s so smart if she just poisons us and locks us in a room? It doesn’t seem fair.

JUNO: No… it doesn’t.

Actually, now that you mention it, it’s not fair at all.

MICK: I mean, yeah, I’m upset about it too, Jay, but I don’t know how much complaining’s gonna do right now—

JUNO: And it doesn’t prove a damn thing, does it? If one of us has to die, she hasn’t proven she’s smarter than us. It doesn’t make sense.

Mick, I’m about to do something really stupid.

MICK: Yeah? Mind if I join you?

JUNO: Kinda. Just promise me something, alright? If this goes bad – and, trust me, it’s probably gonna go bad – promise you’ll try the door? One last time?

MICK: How come I get the feeling this isn’t gonna be the fun kind of stupid, Juno?

JUNO (NARRATOR): Mick got that feeling for a good reason. Because the man was a disaster, and a mess, and a klutz, and a… well, you get the idea. But here’s one thing he wasn’t, not really: an idiot.

So I took the pistol the Proctor had given me, and I pointed it right in between my eyes.

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

MICK: Jay! What’re you doing?!

JUNO: Later, Mick. See you on the other side.

MICK: Put down that gun!

SOUND: GUNSHOT.

Juno!

SOUND: THUMP.

Augh, Jay! Jayjay! Don’t leave me here, buddy, come back! You can’t just shoot yourself and leave me—!

JUNO: The other side of that doorway!

SOUND: GUNSHOT.

MICK: Owww! That smarts!

JUNO: Damn right it does. That’s what happens when you load your antidote into the barrel of a revolver, Mercury: you get all the fun of a shot with none of the cartoon band-aids.

MICK: But– hey, I-I feel better! The poison’s all gone! You did it, Jay! We made it! But how—?

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

PROCTOR (FROM COMMS): Well done, Mr. Steel. Now, as promised: the door.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Come along, I’m waiting for you.

JUNO: I’ll tell you while we run. Got a mayor to save.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Honestly, Mick, you figured it out before I did. The answer’s all in the motive. Why does the Proctor kill the way she does?

MICK: To prove she’s smart, you said.

JUNO: Exactly. And it doesn’t count as proving she’s smart unless there’s a way we could have figured it out. She said that if we made it through her tests, we’d be cured – which we assumed meant she’d give us the antidote, but she never told us we didn’t have it already.

MICK: But… she told us to shoot each other!

JUNO: And because I’m your friend and you’re a moron, she knew we’d never do it.

(PANTING) So if we had to have access to the antidote somewhere, and there were no hidden compartments or anything in that room—

MICK: That means she had to have given us the antidote ahead of time! Wow, Jay. You’re really good at this, huh?

JUNO: I get by. Barely. And usually with a broken leg or three.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

This must be the room.

SOUND: WIND.

MICK: And that must be the window you were looking for, right?

JUNO: Looks like it, but… where the hell is the Proctor?

JUNO (NARRATOR): Through the window I could see the Fortezza courtyard below: the crowd of people shuffling into their seats and Ramses O’Flaherty shuffling his papers at the podium. I checked my watch. 11:55. Only five minutes until the Proctor took out Ramses… and I had no idea where the hell she was.

PROCTOR: (LAUGHING) You’ve done very well to make it this far, Mr. Steel, Mr. Mercury. Better than expected, I will admit. But this is the end of the line. Welcome to your Final Exam.

JUNO: Where the hell are you?! Damn it, you really did lie to us!

PROCTOR: I didn’t lie to you. I said I was waiting for you, and I was… just not in the Fortezza. When taking an exam, always remember to mark up the questions – that’s how they get you.

JUNO: Where are you?

PROCTOR: I’m afraid that is the sole question on your exam, Mr. Steel. Question one: where is the genius murderer? (LAUGHS) On the windowsill in front of you lies a long-range laser rifle. Enough to kill me, certainly… if you can find me. (CACKLING)

MICK: A rifle? So do you think… she’s somewhere down there, Jay?

JUNO: Maybe, yeah, she’s got to be.

SOUND: MECHANICAL CLICKS.

But… the rifle doesn’t have a stun setting! I can’t kill random people in the crowd!

MICK: You’ll get it, Jay. I know you’ll get it! You’re a sharpshooter! The sharpest there is!

JUNO: Mick…!

MICK: So you better watch yourself, Proctor! He’s the best sniper in this city! They call him One Eyeball Steel!

JUNO: Mick, nobody calls me that—

MICK: One-Ball Steel, then!

JUNO: Nope, nope, went the wrong way on that one.

PROCTOR: Only three minutes left, Mr. Steel. Your answer, please. (LAUGHS) All the best tests instruct just as much as they measure, you know. I wonder what you’ve learned from this one?

JUNO (NARRATOR): That was a good question. In fact, it might’ve been the first good question the Proctor had asked all day.

So what had I learned from this test? The Proctor was working with someone, that was for sure. Even a genius couldn’t manage to smuggle in all of those weapons and mannequins without some serious help. I’d learned that she had confidence issues, too – that whoever had hired her had probably pulled on that, told her that she’d never be able to pull off what she did twenty years ago. Which meant whatever the answer was to this exam, it had to be perfect. It had to be flawless.

JUNO: …Flawless.

PROCTOR: And don’t I know it.

JUNO: It’s got to be flawless. That means the diorama down there has to be completely accurate!

MICK: But you told me the diorama said the laser must have come through this window.

JUNO: Straight from here to the podium, Mercury – but it never said which direction.

MICK: She’s hiding inside the podium?!

PROCTOR: Time’s up, Mr. Steel. You have five seconds to answer.

JUNO (NARRATOR): There was no time, and another problem to deal with: in order to shoot a laser from here to the Proctor, I’d have to send it through Ramses O’Flaherty’s head. So I fired a shot to break the window—

SOUND: GUNSHOT. SHATTERING GLASS.

—and I gave the best warning I could.

SOUND: RAIN.

JUNO: (CALLING) Ramses! Duck!

JUNO (NARRATOR): And either it was my first stroke of luck for the day or the old man had a hell of a reaction time, because he was down on the ground before I was finished shouting his name.

THEIA: Target locked.

SOUND: GUNSHOT.

PROCTOR: (GASPS)

MICK: Did it work? Did it work??

SOUND: DISTANT SCREAMS. STATIC CRACKLING.

JUNO: I… guess so.

PROCTOR: (COUGHING) Very well done, Mr. Steel. Perhaps I… finally did meet my intellectual match.

JUNO: Alright, at the start of this whole mess you said you’d tell me who you’re working for if I passed all your tests. Well, I passed ‘em; start talking.

PROCTOR: I suppose I must… I haven’t much time left…

You want to know who hired me to kill Ramses O’Flaherty? It was his worst enemy, of course.

JUNO: Oh, come on! No more tests, no more riddles. I won.

PROCTOR: Education… is its own reward. Now, here's your final question.

(COUGHS) In order to find Ramses’s enemy, you must go home again.

JUNO: Home?! How the hell do you know where I live?

PROCTOR: A frozen place, this home… a land the past, of heroes, of justice… a place further than the inky blackness of space, yet as close as the heart of every child… Home, Mr. Steel. You’ll find Ramses’s enemy, if you just go home.

JUNO: Damn it, stop babbling and give me a straight answer!

PROCTOR: You’ll never solve this. I can hear it in your voice! You’ve lost! I’ve won!

JUNO: Don’t die on me! I’m talking to you!

PROCTOR: I’m the smartest! I’ve beaten you! I could beat… anybody… (PANTING)

SOUND: STATIC FADES.

***

JUNO (NARRATOR): Ramses barked a few orders and the cops were off with their tails between their legs looking for a way to get us down through the Fortezza window. In the meantime, Mick and I celebrated. As well as you can celebrate in the dusty old attic of the person you just killed, anyway.

SOUND: HEAVY RAIN.

MICK: So… we made it! That’s somethin’, right?

JUNO: Sure, Mick. It’s really somethin’.

MICK: Got a little hairy there for a few minutes, but I always knew we’d make it through! Or, at least, I often thought we would. Sometimes, suspected. (CHUCKLES)

Hey… what do you think that riddle she said at the end meant? It sounded pretty tricky to me.

JUNO: I don’t know, Mick. But, if it’s all the same to you, I don’t really want to think about the Proctor right now.

MICK: I get it, I get it.

I-I just don’t understand, Jay. She was so smart. She made all those crazy traps and stuff while she was locked in a prison cell. And even if she did have help, she had to build all that so quickly, and so secretly… she must’ve been one of the smartest people on Mars.

So, why’d she have to prove that she was smart all the time? Why’d she have to kill people to do it?

JUNO: I don’t know, Mick. Why’s anybody hurt anybody?

MICK: I guess so. …I’m sorry.

JUNO: For what?

MICK: I don’t know. I just felt like one of us had to apologize, and you weren’t gonna do it.

JUNO: Yeah, that makes sense.

But look… Mick, maybe I should apologize. I gave you a lot of crap about your stupid danger theory, but… you were right. We made it out. Again.

(SIGHS) I wish you’d do something else, but who the hell knows? Maybe you’re onto something.

MICK: Wait, seriously? What are you, stupid?

JUNO: What?

MICK: Taking this job was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done, Jay! I didn’t make it out ‘cause I’m lucky, or I’m good at dealing with danger. I made it out ‘cause you bailed me out. I’d be chalk dust without you!

JUNO: That’s… probably true.

And surprisingly responsible.

MICK: I don’t know why nothing ever works out for me, but you were right. I don’t think getting in danger all the time’s the answer either.

Maybe it doesn’t really matter anymore. I mean… I’m just gonna make myself miserable if I’m always trying to be the guy I used to be. So I guess the hard part… the hard part is, figuring out who the hell I am now? …Does that sound right?

JUNO: You could always just stay so busy that you don’t have time to think about it. That’s usually what I do.

But, for what it’s worth, Mercury, I think when you finally figure out who you are… you’re gonna make an impact.

MICK: Aw, Jay, that’s the nicest—

JUNO: Only question is whether the impact is the galactic-peace kind or the gigantic-smoking-crater kind. Could really go either way.

MICK: …Oh. That still might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

JUNO: You’re welcome.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The cops got us down a few minutes later. I told Mick to go home and then waited on the edge of the crowd while Ramses talked down the reporters.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about the Proctor. About the sound she’d made on her last breath. It wasn’t that I thought I shouldn’tve killed her; I-I was… just a little shaken, I guess.

Because, if real evil exists, then the Proctor – a woman who killed twenty people without remorse – was it. But that means sometimes evil is just someone trying to prove to the world that they’re worth something. Or just prove it to themselves, maybe.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.

RAMSES: Juno. You cut it a little close at the end there, but over all… nice work. Come on. I’ll give you a ride home.

JUNO: Home…

This isn’t over yet, Ramses.

RAMSES: Hmm?

JUNO: The Proctor said she’d been hired by someone to kill you. Your worst enemy, she said, and whoever they are, I don’t think they’re gonna let up.

RAMSES: Did she, now. Well. I suppose that’s what I have you for.

JUNO: Ramses, I don’t know—

RAMSES: What else did the Proctor say to you?

JUNO: It was some kind of riddle, I guess, I– couldn’t make any sense of it. Something about going home, a place of heroes, as distant as the stars and close as kids’ hearts…?

RAMSES: (CHUCKLING, THEN FULL-ON HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER)

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO: What? …What’s so funny?

RAMSES: An interesting place to strike. I’m surprised I hadn’t thought of it sooner.

JUNO: You know the answer to the riddle?

RAMSES: I do, in fact.

SOUND: CAR PULLS UP.

My limo will bring you home. On second thought, I don’t think I’ll be coming with you. I have some calls to make.

JUNO: But Ramses—

RAMSES: Tomorrow morning, I think… no, no, I’ll send a car for you again tomorrow night. Rest up until then.

JUNO: Ramses, listen to me, damn it! Where the hell is she trying to send us? All this stupid stuff about my home?

RAMSES: (CHUCKLES) Oh, Juno. When she said ‘home,’ she didn’t mean yours. She meant mine.

SOUND: KNOCKING.

Bring him home, please.

JUNO: Ramses, you can’t start talking nonsense, too.

RAMSES: All in good time, my friend. Rest up. Tomorrow night… adventure awaits.

SOUND: CAR DOOR SLAMS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I watched him as the car pulled away – Ramses O’Flaherty, who hadn’t even existed thirty years ago, who had a good shot at being the next mayor of Hyperion City. Ramses O’Flaherty: the man who was all future and no past.

There was something appealing about that, I’ll admit. The thought that you could just shed your old self like an old skin and become someone new. Someone important. Someone like Ramses O’Flaherty.

So turn your back on the past, Steel. Tie yourself to the man of the future… and hope that what’s ahead is better than what you left behind.

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you've enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you will receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from Noah Simes, co-creator Kevin Vibert, and actors ALlison Choat and Stefano Perti:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

NOAH: …I mean I think this is a testament both Kevin, to your writing of Mick and Stefano, your portrayal of him, but, y’know, I– I certainly can sort of identify with that feeling of like, I haven’t done… enough, or I haven’t done what I’m supposed to do—

STEFANO: Yes. Please don't have let that have been my greatest moment—

NOAH: Right, right, yeah!

STEFANO: —no matter what that moment is.

NOAH: Right, beca– right. You never know what the high peak is gonna be, and you just pray that it…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Jaimie Gunter, The Princess and the Scrivener, Hannah Tsim, and Elizabeth Miller for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Lesson Learned, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Matthew Zahnzinger as Ramses O’Flaherty, AlLison Choat as the Proctor, and Stefano Perti as Mick Mercury.

On staff at The Penumbra: Kevin Vibert is our lead writer and recording engineer. Sophie Kaner is our director and sound designer. Grahame Turner is our script editor. Noah Simes is our production manager. Alice Chung is our designer and financial manager. Original music by Ryan Vibert. Promotional art by Mikaela Buckley.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert.

I'm afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

#juno steel

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yourlocalmoon-blog · 6 years

Text

Dear Benita,

Hello, everybody. Thanks for coming. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And I'd like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you're about to see it actually happened. Just take it from me. But there's more to this story than what's on the page, so please pay attention while I set the stage. We open in Thneedville, a city they say that was plastic and fake, and they liked it that way! A town without nature, not one living tree. So, what happened to them? Cue the music! Let's see. Buzz. Buzz. In Thneedville, it's a brand new dawn With brand new cars and houses and lawns Here in Got-all-that-we-need-ville In Thneedville, we manufacture our trees Each one is made in factories And uses 96 batteries In Thneedville, the air's not so clean So we buy it fresh It comes out this machine! In Satisfaction's- guaranteed-ville In Thneedville, we don't want to know Where the smog and trash and chemicals go I just went swimming, and now I glow In Thneedville, we have fun year round We surf and snowboard right in town We thank the Lord for all we've got Including this brand new parking lot! Parking lot! Oh, look, it's Aloysius O'Hare Aloysius O'Hare The man who found a way to sell air And became a zillionaire Hip-hip-hooray! In Thneedville, we love living this way It's like living in paradise It's perfect! And that's how it will stay Oh, yeah! Here in Love-the-life-we-lead-ville Destined-to-succeed-ville We-are-all-agreed-ville We love it here in... Thneedville! Yes! Oh, hi, Ted. Oh, hey, Audrey. Hi. Did your ball land in my backyard again? What? No. A model airplane, this time. Hey, do you want to see something cool? Come on. Whoa! Did you... Did you paint this? Do you like it? What? Are you kidding? This is amazing! What are those? Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk! Wow! What does that even mean? I know, right? Oh, yeah. What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree growing in my backyard. So if, say... I'm just thinking out loud here. If a guy somehow got you one... I'd probably marry him on the spot. I bet that sounds crazy. Does that sound crazy? No! Not crazy. Not crazy at all. Ted, honey, don't play with your food. You, either, Mom. So, Mom, do you happen to know if there's any place where I could get a real tree? Ted, we already have a tree. It's the latest model. Yeah, but I mean a real one that grows out of the ground or whatever. You know, a real tree. Really? You would rather have some dirty, messy lump of wood that just sticks out of the ground? And it does what? I don't even know what it does. What's its purpose? Look at what we've got. It's the Oak-amatic. The only tree with its own remote. Summer, autumn, winter, and disco! Mom? Come on, Ted. Get into it. Dance with the tree. Oh, it hurts, Mom. Please stop. So, anyway... Let's just say I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Then you know what? You need to find the Once-ler. The what? Mom, it's not really the time for one of your magical fables, okay? That's right, I forgot. I'm old and can't even remember to put my teeth in. Stand down. That's not what I meant. No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? Sure, Mom. Okay, here's the deal. The Once-ler is the man who knows what happened to the trees. You want one, you need to find him. The Once-ler? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Grammy, is this a real thing that we're talking about now? Oh, he's real all right. Well, where can I find him? Far outside of town where the grass never grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows. And no birds ever sing, excepting old crows. Quit doing that. That's the place where the Once-ler lives. Wait, outside of town? People used to say if you brought him 15 cents, a nail and the shell of a great, great, great grandfather snail, he would tell you everything. Hmm. Mr. O'Hare, what we've got for you is something that is going to take O'Hare Air to the next level. Now, Mr. O'Hare, I know what you're thinking. One, " I've gotten rich selling people air that's "fresher than the stinky stuff outside. " Two, and here is the important one, "How can I possibly make even more money?" We can tell you, sir! We can tell you. Check out this commercial, huh? Well, here goes another lame Saturday. Dude, I don't think so! Huh! Hey! Man! Oh, yeah! What! Yeah! O'Hare purified air. Freshness to go. Please breathe responsibly. Ah? Oh, my goodness. Yeah! Love it. You got to be kidding me. You really think people are stupid enough to buy this? Our research shows that if you put something in a plastic bottle, people will buy it. Exactly. And... And what's more, when we build a new factory to make the plastic bottles, the air quality is just going to get worse. Which will make people want our air even more, and drive sales where? Through the roof! So, in other words, the more smog in the sky, The more people will buy. See, that's why he's the genius! It even rhymes! I'm aware it rhymes. Coats. Big. What do you two knuckleheads want? I'm in the middle of a meeting! What? Why is he leaving town? No one ever leaves town! See what he's up to. Whoa! Huh? Whoa! Whoa. Oh, man. Whoa! All right. Okay. What the... Whoa! Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here? I'm Ted. I'm Ted. I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out. The boot? Hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. No, no, no! Trees? Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? Hello? Sorry, it's just... Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees. Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. Hey! What? Do you want to know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they're all gone? It's because of me. Wait, what? It's because of me! And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand. All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool. You're darn right it was cool! It all started a long time ago. Can we start not so long ago, maybe? Do you want a tree? Yes, yes. Then it all started a long, long time ago. I was a young man leaving home. Well, here I go, Mom. Off to change the world with my Thneed. I'm actually doing it! Yes, but just remember, Oncie, if somehow your invention ends up a failure instead of a success, oh, it wouldn't surprise me at all! Nice wheels. Burn! Ow! Yeah, "Burn!" But you will see, okay? I'm going to prove you all wrong. Come on, Melvin! So, there I was at the very bottom. With nothing but a wagon, a mule, and a completely irrational sense of optimism. I was searching the globe, obsessed with finding the perfect material for my Thneed. But I'd had absolutely no success. Until one day, I found paradise. Oh! We're going to be there soon, I'm sure. Whoa! This is the most beautiful place, okay, I have ever seen. Oh. Ta-da! Whoa! Yeah This is it This is the place These Truffula trees are just what I need Gonna chop one down and make my Thneed But first... Now you! That's great! So now our friendship can begin Hand in hand, and wing and fin There's nothing you and I can't do So let's all make my dreams come true Hey, guys! Come on, where is my back-up chorus? What? Ah-ha! Oh. Ooh! Hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute. Excuse me? Yeah, that's awesome. Feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? Because I would love to hear that one. Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story, and was never heard from again. Right, got it. Proceed. All right, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world. Check it out, guys... Where did everybody go? Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax. Hey! Whoo! Did you chop down this tree? Uh... No. Who did it? What's that? I think he did it. Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out! And who are you? I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. So you're telling me, you just didn't see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that? No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that? Uh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works. Okay. Um... Didn't really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I've got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw! Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy... How dare you! Give me that! Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it. What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? What's your deal, man? Time for you to go, Beanpole! Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day. Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures? What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground! Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. Shame on you. For shame! All right, you know what? That's it! You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. Then you leave me no choice. If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. Thanks. Yeah, okay. You have been warned. But I didn't listen to his warning. And you won't believe what happened that night. What? If you want to hear more, come back tomorrow. Hey, wait, wait! Tomorrow? Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho. Are you serious right now? Ah! You live in the middle of nowhere! It stinks out here. Don't make me come back! I guess you don't really want to hear the rest of the story. No, no. I do. I really do. I want to hear the story. I just... Nah! You don't have what it takes. Goodbye. Wait, wait! I have what it takes. It's all right. It's okay, I'll come back. It's no problem. See, here I am, leaving. Walking away now. I'll see you tomorrow. Mmm. Maybe. Just maybe. What did you wish for, Audrey? Well, I would love to tell you, but, sadly, according to the universal wish laws, I cannot. I know what she wished for. Was it, perhaps... This? Ted, you didn't. Oh, no. I totally did. Happy birthday, Audrey. Kiss him! Kiss him! Ted. Ted. Tedster. Huh! You're kissing the cereal again, hon. What? I just... I like this cereal. What one is this? Yeah! Okay. Well, I'll make sure to buy extra next time for you. All right, cool. Hey, I got to run. I got to go do a thing. So, I'll see you guys. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You're not going anywhere, young man. It's Sunday. You know what that means? Family time, and we're all playing board games! But... Hmm. Mmm? Oh, man. Mom, seriously, every turn? Hey, back off! Ooh! No. Okay! Family time is over. It is now personal time. I'll be in my room. Okay, dear. Have fun. I knew I could break her. Go. Huh? Go see him! Oh, yeah! You rule! Thank you, Grammy. Whoa! Hey! Ted, right? Um, Mr. O'Hare? So, I hear you have become interested in trees. What's that all about? Oh. Um... Where did you hear that? Oh. Teddy, there's not much that goes on in Thneedville that I don't know about. Here's the deal, I make a living selling fresh air to people. Trees? They make it for free. So, when I hear people talking about them, I consider it kind of a threat to my business. I don't even know what you're talking about. You listen to me, boy. Don't go poking around in things you don't understand or I'll be your worst nightmare. I'm Frankenstein's head on a spider's body! Yeah, um... Okay, my mom is expecting me. So, I'm just going to... Of course, of course. Now, go back to your family game time. Grandma just finished her turn. How did you know? Please. I have eyes everywhere. Huh! You got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. Why, I can't think of any reason you would ever want to go outside of town again. Ever. Okay! Good talk. Really good talk. Oh, no. Look out! Hey, man? You know, you need to change that door bell. Oh, you missed me. What? You're already back. Clearly, you missed me a little. Right? No, I didn't. I'm just here to hear the end of the story. Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids, break dancing and wearing bell-bottoms, and playing the Donkey Kongs? Yeah, right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it would be kind of cool to have one, you know? Huh? It's a girl, isn't it? What? No! Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, it's usually to impress some girl. Hey, she is not some girl! She's a woman, in high school. And she loves trees. And I'm going to get her one. Aw! How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality. Thank you. All right, but where did we leave off? Now that's a Thneed. Nothing unmanly about knitting. No, sir. Look at that... Oh! Who taught you guys how to steal a bed? Shh! Okay, nice and easy. Nice work, you guys. Couldn't have done it without you. You got to be kidding me. Can he swim? Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm coming to get you! Hey, you fishies! Stop that bed! Whoo! Whoo! Jump, jump! Come on, get up there. Come on. Go, go! A little bit more! A little bit more! Now what? Mmm-mmm. Get up there. Okay, Pipsqueak, give me your hand. Come on, reach out for the Lorax. Where did you go? Bar-ba-loots. Oh, that's bad. Hey, Beanpole, wake up! What's happening? Where am I? Hey! We got trouble, and it's coming up fast! Whoo! We're in a river! Whew! Oh, no. Just do something! Help is on the way! No, no! Just a minute! Oh, no! Wake up! Wake up! Yuck! Clear! Ah! I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back and here I am! You saved my life! Yeah, I know. Well, no, it's not that big a deal. It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river? Uh... About that... Actually... I put your bed in the water. I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem. All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise. Thank you. But I'm going to keep my eye on you. Good. Now, I've got a big day tomorrow so I'm going to get some sleep. Right after I find my bed. Ow! Okay, what are you... Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are you doing here? Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep. What? Ew! Exactly. And sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away. I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done. "No harm done"? "No harm done"? Okay. Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. Ew. Did you just... In my bowl! Why do you have one of these? You don't even have a mustache. Okay, that's it! What? I thought we made a deal last night. Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees. And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving. What's for breakfast? Breakfast is overrated. You know what? I got work to do. Yeah. I got to go into town and sell my Thneed. You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage? Look at that... "Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. It has a million uses! Look at this. It's a swimsuit! Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! It also works as a hat. Of course, you probably want to wring it out first. Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing. Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo. You're bringing a guitar? Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people... Sit down, go on. Unfortunately, I didn't sell it the first day. The Thneed is good The Thneed is great... Hey! Or the second day. Hey! Or the third, or fourth, or fifth day. Okay, that one hit the tender spot. Until finally... That's it! You know what? I'm done with this thing. Aw. My family was right. I quit! Hey. Cool hat. Oh, my gosh! I totally want one. That thing makes me like you more. Hey! Where's your Thneed, did you sell it? Hey. No, no. Didn't sell it. Turns out, it's ahead of its time, I guess. Hey, you gave it your best shot. Right? What more can you do? Come on, take a seat, we'll deal you in. What are we playing? I'm playing poker. He's playing Go Fish. And I think he's hungry. Oh. Pancake, the pancake Up! Who is up for ninths? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Whoa! All right, pass them over. Yeah, see? What's going on? Oh, no. That's a lot of people. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need The Thneed is good The Thneed is great Let's hope we're not too late It's a super trendy hat It's a tightrope for an acrobat A net for catching butterflies A thing we use for exercise Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need Everybody needs a Thneed Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! We need a Thneed Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry. So, has he told you how to get a tree yet? Actually, no. But I think he's going to get to that part really soon. Here we are. What? I'll just be a minute. Oh, wow. Hey, Audrey! Oh, hi, Ted! What's up? You know me, just cruising. Putting out the vibe. Just me and my thoughts. Oh, is this the girl you're always talking about? Grandma! Stop making things up. She's even prettier than... Okay, got to run! Bye. Okay, Grammy, let's get you home! Yeah! Whoa! I'm so sorry. So sorry. Did not wanna see that. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Hey! Hey, I'm back. What have you got there? Yes! Whoa! Thank you, Ted. Now, picture this. Sun shining, a blue sky, a perfect day. It was all downhill from there. Whoa! What a dump. Hey, Aunt Grizelda! Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long! No, Brett, that's actually not a... Okay. Go long! Go long! I got it! I got it! Got it! He totally ran into that tree! Ow! Oncie, is that you? Mom! There he is! There's my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right? Hey! I love this guy! But you always said I wouldn't amount to anything, remember? Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you! I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you're all here, you all work for me, and that's cool. So, let's get to work. Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you stop throwing that bear? Time out. Back up. Stop. Don't move an inch. Nobody's moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye. So, who invited the giant, furry peanut? You calling me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman. That's a woman? Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let's not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend... Acquaintance. Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees. That's right. And on behalf of the trees, get out! Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I'm going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay? Bigger? Yeah, this isn't some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It's going to be huge! Which way does a tree fall? Uh, down? A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean. I mean, look at this. It's amazing. I am so proud of me. Oncie, we've got us a little problem. Problem? Mmm-hmm. See, we're not making Thneeds fast enough. Harvesting the tufts takes too long! Well, what else can we do? Well, and this just came to me, we could always start chopping down the trees. What? Now you're thinking. That would speed things up! But... No "but" s, Oncie. You're running a business now. You have to do what's best for the company, and your momma. Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to chop down a few trees. You've made me so proud, Oncie. Come here! Hey! I love this guy! No! No, no, no! Stop it! Please, stop. Take that, you stupid tree! Where do you think you're going? Excuse me, sir. I need to talk with your boss. Oh, I'm sorry, but Mr. Once-ler's not seeing anyone right now. Yeah, well, he'll see me. So... Hey, keep your paws off me! Give me a reason, Shorty. Hey, you broke your promise. You're better than this. You gotta stop! This is bad! Have a nice day! Bad? I'm not bad, I'm the good guy here. He just doesn't get it. Do you think I'm bad? Thank you! I mean, something good finally happens to me, and he just has to come along and rain on my parade. What's his problem? See? Yeah, bad! Right. How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well, there's a principle in nature Principle in nature That almost every creature knows Called survival of the fittest Survival of the fittest And check it, this is how it goes The animal that wins gotta scratch and fight And claw and bite and punch And the animal that doesn't Well, the animal that doesn't Winds up someone else's La-la-la-la lunch Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch I'm just sayin' How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? There's a principle in business Principle in business That everybody knows is sound It says the people with the money People with the money Make this ever-loving world go round So I'm biggering my company I'm biggering my factory I'm biggering my corporate sign Bigger, bigger! Everybody out there You take care of yours I'll take care of mine-mine-mine-mine-mine Shake that bottom line Let me hear you say Smogulous Smoke! Smogulous Smoke! Schloppity-Schlopp! Complain all you want It's never, ever, ever, ever gonna stop Stop! Come on, how bad can I possibly be? How bad can I be? I'm just building the economy How bad can I be? Just look at me petting this puppy How bad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity How bad can I be? How bad could I possibly be? Let's see! All the customers are buying And the money's multiplying And the PR people are lying And the lawyers are denying Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad? How bad can this possibly be? So, how are things? What are you doing here? Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you? Or do you still need more? Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote powers to stop me? I told you, that's not how it works. Right, I forgot. You're a fraud. I need you to get out. Now! Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? You know what? You can just shut your mustache. My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me! Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you. Somebody sure made a bundle on that thing. I wonder what the next million dollar invention's going to be. Yeah, I wonder... Son, you have let me down. Brett, you are now my favorite child. Hey, look, I don't want any trouble. And you won't get any. Not from them. Thanks to you and your hacking, and smogging and glupping, they can't live here anymore. So, I'm sending them off. Hopefully, they'll be able to find a better place out there somewhere. Melvin? Melvin... Hey, Pipsqueak... Hey... So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything. Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here regretting everything I've done, staring at that word, "unless," and wondering what it meant. But now I'm thinking... Well, maybe you're the reason the Lorax left that word there. Me? Why would he leave that for me? Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted. Yeah, but, nobody cares about trees anymore. Then make them care. Plant the seed in the middle of town, where everyone can see. Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed, any more than you're just a boy. I won't let you down. I know. Hey, Audrey! Audrey! Ted? What are you doing? Meet me at my house. Wait, but... My house, okay? Got to plant the seed. Okay, we're going to need water. And uh, something to dig with. Um, what do I have... Ted? Mom, I'm busy, Mom. Theodore Wiggins, get down here right now, and I am not kidding with you! Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town. There he is! Hello, Ted. Uh... Hi. Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything. You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk. Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie. I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? Hand it over. I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about. Really? Well, then... I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room. No, no, no! Morty! McGurk! Find the seed! No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room! Find it! Find it! What is going on here? This doesn't involve you! Get back downstairs! Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous. Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. Mind telling me what's going on here? The seed! Where is it? Seed? Where's Grammy? It's alive! I remember you. Ted, what... Audrey! Hey, did you want to... Well, okay! Ted, what is this about? It's about this. Wait, wait, wait. Is that... Yes. The last Truffula seed. And you're going to help me plant it right in the middle of town where everyone can see it. I could just kiss you right now! We don't have time for that. I don't know, we have a little time. But, you know what, let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it. Maniac! Hey! Ah! Here it comes! I'm going for it. Oh, hello! Ted, big scary blimp coming. Whoa! You won't get away with this, boy! Bam! Go faster, you idiot! Yeah! Step on it, Ted! Whoa! You're fired! Whoa! Ted, look out! Nobody beats Aloysius O... Ted... This is not good. How's it doing? Whoa-ho-ho! Loser! Oh, really? Oh, no. The seed! Get that seed! Hang on! Here we go! Grammy! Seriously, how cool is your grandma? No! Come on! Yeah, that's right. There it is! Hey! Watch the road, you meathead! Ah! Hey, ow, ow! Oh, come on! What the... Get it unstuck, get it unstuck! Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts! Ted! Grammy! Whoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! It's Mr. O... Take that, shorty! Okay, we have to get this in the ground. But where? There's no dirt anywhere. No, Grammy... Hey, get out of there! Ah! Hey! What? See, what did I tell you? Easy. Huh? Hey, they broke O'Hare's head! What do you think you're doing, kid? Um, I'm looking for a place to plant a tree. A real one. Why would we need a tree? Exactly. Oh, man. Folks... The last thing you want around here is trees. They're filthy! Spewing that sticky, nasty sap all over the place. They bring poisonous ants and stinging bees. Hey! Ouch. Think about the kids. And, I just thought, you know, they make leaves! You know that, right? Then these leaves, they just fall. They just fall wherever they want! Come on! We know why you're really against trees. Because they produce fresh air. For free! Oh! I am wounded! You have lied! It is not a lie! It's called photosynthesis. Come on. She's making that up! That's a made-up word, people! Thneedville is perfect just the way it is. We don't need trees! That boy has a seed. We need to stop him! Who's with me? Come on! O'Hare is right! Seeds will ruin us all! Stop it! Last chance, kid. Hand it over! Where do you think you're going? Come on, let's go! Get in, get in! Hey! Stop that maniac! Excuse me, excuse me. Watch out! Ted, you're going to hit the wall! Yeah. I know. Wow. Did you see that? Who does this kid think he is, huh? I am Ted Wiggins. And I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville. And they're only going to get worse, unless we do something about it, unless we change our ways. And we can start by planting this! Okay. Come on, now. Everything is fine. Right? I say we tell this kid what we think about that seed! People, come on! You! Get out there right now and get these people on my side, or else you're fired! Go on, tell them what you think. You don't know me, but my name's Cy I'm just the O'Hare delivery guy But it seems like trees might be worth a try So I say let it grow My name is Dan And my name's Rose Our son Wesley kind of glows And that's not good, so we suppose We should let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow My name's Marie, and I am three! I would really like to see a tree I say let it grow I'm Grammy Norma I'm old, and I've got gray hair But I remember when trees were everywhere And no one had to pay for air So I say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow Like it did so long ago It is just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to change the life we lead Time to let it grow My name's O'Hare, I'm one of you I live here in Thneedville, too The things you say just might be true It could be time to start anew And maybe change my point of view Nah! I say let it die! Let it die, let it die Let it shrivel up and... Come on, who's with me? Nobody. You greedy dirt-bag! Let it grow, let it grow Let the love inside you show Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow It's just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to banish all your greed Imagine Thneedville flowered and treed Let this be our solemn creed Thank you, Ted. We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache.

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that-curly-haired-lesbian · 7 years

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Can I have a queer analysis of Treacherous? I know it's low-hanging fruit but it's my current favorite Taylor song.

Wow, I’m clearly ahuge pushover when it comes to personal deadlines! In all seriousness though, thelast few days have been insane! I apologize to anon and everyone else who’sbeen waiting for this; but yes buddy, you can absolutely have an analysis of Treacherous. After all it’s a great songand imo it’s one of Taylor’s gayest!

All interoperation ofthe lyrics are my own and everyone else is free to view it as they personallysee fit, this is merely a suggestion for how to read the song.

AZLyrics provided thelyrics for this as always, so cred to them.

–

Put your lips close to mine

As long as they don’t touch

Out of focus, eye to eye

Till the gravity’s too much

–

Opening lines make something pretty clear, this is asexy song. It’s a song about temptation and lust and most of all it’s a songabout giving in to those things.

So we’re talking about a kiss here or perhaps moreaccurately, the moment just beforeyou kiss someone, when your lips are very close to theirs but not yet touching.How everything else sort of goes out of focus when you’re physically that closeto another person and how all you can see are their eyes and perhaps moreimportantly in this context, their lips. Then finally in the last line gravitypulls the two lovers together and they close the small distance left betweentheir lips and kiss.

“But, Theo!” You all shriek in alarm, “You haven’ttalked about any gay stuff yet, what makes these lines specifically gay?” Well,the pronoun of the lover is kept unspecified for one and the lines could be talking about how as closetedgay lovers you’re constantly tiptoeing that line of what is the appropriatedegree of affection to show in public. You can’t kiss, but is putting your lipsclose together and looking deeply into each other’s eyes, letting the rest ofthe world go out of focus okay? Yes, as long as your lips don’t touch you couldget away with it says Taylor. It’s a risk though, because sometimes the gravitybecomes too much and pulls you in when you’re that close together so the safe betis to only do stuff like that when alone with your secret gay lover, but thenagain nothing safe is worth the drive, is it? Nope, that’s what this whole songis about.

–

And I’ll do anything you say

If you say it with your hands

And I’d be smart to walk away

But you’re quicksand

–

The first time I heard this song I was actually quite surprisedat how racy this was for a Taylor song (of course this was before both 1989 and Reputation)

This is about sex in case anyone was confused and thehands-line immediately brings lesbian sex to mind so that’s um…gayyyyyyyy! 🌈🌈

+ the fact thatTaylor will do anything her lover asks her to (in the bedroom and maybe evenout of it, but we’ll get to that later) as long as she “says it with her hands”also implies that said lover is really, really good at the whole sex thing. So,um, eh, good going, Dianna! …I guess…Tay, this was almost TMI for someone who’sbeen listening to you since you were 16! Seriously, every time Taylor alludesto something sexual in her songs my first thought is always: “Oh my god, stopit Taylor, you’re twelve!”

Kidding, kidding; please keep writing explicitly aboutgay sex, we need more songs about that and I’m proud of you for letting yourlyrics grow up with you!

Anyway, after the whole sex thing Taylor informs usthat the smart thing to do would be to walk away from her lover and theirrelationship, but she’s in too deep already and her relentless unforgivingattraction (physical as well as emotional) to this woman just keeps pulling herdeeper still, as if she was stuck in quicksand unable to move.

–

This slope is treacherous

This path is reckless

This slope is treacherous

And I, I, I like it

–

We’ve previously talked about Taylor using “dangerous”or “reckless” as a word for exploring or indulging in one’s same-sex attraction(similar to how she sometimes uses “princess” for heterosexual girls and otherwords associated with royalty/fairy-tales for her career-motivated, publichetero-image) and this song is the ultimate example of this.

She’s saying she knows that acting on her attraction tothis woman is a dangerous, reckless thing to do, but she’s also saying that shelikes it, she likes the element of danger, she likes being attracted to womenand to this one in particular. Being in lesbian relationships is a treacherousthing when you’re closeted and famous, for this same reason it’s also not asmart thing (career-wise) for her to do, II’s a slippery slope towards beingcaught in a compromising gay moment and having to come out. She knows all thisand yet she doesn’t care, because she wants the relationship, the love and thepreviously stated hella good sex. (“We need love, but all we want is danger”)

–

I can’t decide if it’s a choice

Getting swept away

I hear the sound of my own voice

Asking you to stay

–

So Taylor knows that acting on these gay desires ofhers are not to recommend and yet she finds herself asking the girl to say withher to try and make the relationship work, because just as Taylor can’t controlher attraction to women (because, ya know, being gay is in no way a choice)“getting swept away” and falling for someone isn’t a choice either. Despitewhat Taylor says about now being able to tell if she’s chosen this predicamentfor herself by encouraging the ill-advised relationship to go on, we in fact donot control when and how we fall in love.

Being with Dianna may not be the smartest thing forwhatever reason, be it the gay thing or other aspects of thismaybe-not-entirely-healthy relationship. As Taylor herself has admitted therelationship most of the songs on Red areabout was in fact toxic in some ways. (x)

All that be damned though, Taylor is in love and wantsher girlfriend to stay despite it all.

–

And all we are is skin and bone

Trained to get along

Forever going with the flow

But you’re friction

–

To me the “skin and bones”-line could indicate that much ofthe relationship is sexual at this point, Like their chemistry and connection is now mostly sexual…I guess that this could also betalking about beards though, oddly enough…Hear me out here. So, Taylor and herbeards are in a sense trained to get along, Taylor (presumably) not beingattracted to men has to pretend to be all the time, not just in music videos orwhen she uses male pronoun in a song, but also to her beards and since she’ssupposedly dating this guy their chemistry has to look natural. Skin and boneprobably refers to a body right and my first impulse was to relate it to bodiesin literal, (gay) sexual context since like I’ve said this song is prettysexual, but what if she just means that she’s trained to get along with themale body out in public (just as her gay beards have to pretend to be attractedto girls and the female body in order to make them look convincing as acouple.) Since their chemistry has tolook real and couple-y Taylor tends to just “go with the flow” and do whatlooks natural when in public with le beard (mostly just hold his hand)

This is whatshe’s been “trained” (by PR-team and publicists) to be able to do with males inorder to be “straight-passing”, but going with the flow and acting natural withyour “boyfriend” when you have a relationship with your secret girlfriendbecomes hard. Taylor often refers to herself as an “actress” in the context ofbearding and acting becomes harder when you have something real to compare itto. There are such contrasts between how Taylor acts with her beards and withher actual girlfriend that the real relationship becomes a force pushing Tayloraway from the beards and stopping any chemistry she might’ve been able toforce, blocking her “straight-passing”-ability with real and natural chemistrythat now makes whatever she does with the beards look stiff and forced incomparison (because it is….)

As we know friction is a force that slows down anobject’s movement, in this case, Taylor is the object and the girlfriend is theforce blocking her ability to seem or act straight.

Bonus fact: the “friction”-line is also very coolsince the verses before it follow an ABAB rhyme scheme, but this line goesagainst that just like friction goes against the direction of movement. THE LINE IS LITERALLY FRICTION AND TAYLORALISON SWIFT IS A LYRICAL GENIUS!!

…Sorryfor being such a lit student for a second, moving on now.

–

(Chorus)

–

Two headlights shine through the sleepless night

And I will get you a—get you alone

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

–

On 1989 somethingthat seems to come up a lot in the songs that I personally assume to be aboutDianna is cars or driving. That seems to have gotten its start on Red in this song as well as in thetitular song, Red (“Loving her was like driving a new Maseratidown a dead-end street”) in this song we see the car theme yet again. To methe image being painted by this line is always two lovers going home togetherthrough the night, but with no plans of sleeping (😏) hence the sleeplessnight.

“To get someone alone” is a phrase Taylor uses quite alot in her songs and I think it refers to when her and her current girlfriendare not in public and thus can actually act like a couple as opposed tootherwise when they have to pretend to be merely friends. So basically they’redriving home together and away from the heteronormative public.

“Your name has echoed through my mind” or somevariant thereof is also a choice of words Taylor has used in more than one songand it seems to signify that she’s deeply in love or infatuated with someone. Sobasically what she’s saying is that while in public pretending to be platonicwith her girl all she’s actually thought of is how in love she is and how niceit’ll be to be alone and get to be romantic away from flashing cameras andprying eyes.

Here she’s letting the girlfriend know that while she’saware their relationship is “dangerous” (translation: gay) she doesn’t wantanything else, she doesn’t want “safe” (translation: straight) because that’s notreal (a straight relationship couldn’t be real for Taylor since she’s y’know, gay)and therefore wouldn’t be worth the effort, or “the drive” to keep with the cartheme.

–

And I would follow you, follow you home

I’ll follow you, follow you home

–

So, at first glance this seems creepily stalkerish, doesn’tit? *laugh* but I’m pretty sure that what it means is Taylor and Dianna couldn’tleave some sort of public event together. Why? Well, that’d indicate that theywere going home together (which theyobviously were but das gay, shhhhh) so instead Taylor simply left a while afterDianna and proceeded to follow her home in a separate car so they could meet upthere instead of leaving together. The lines simply refer to details you haveto keep in mind when your relationship is secret, such as not publicly goinghome together.

–

This hope is treacherous

This daydream is dangerous

This hope is treacherous

I, I, I… I, I, I… I, I, I…

–

Remember before when I said that maybe the “I’ll doanything you say”-line wasn’t solely applicable in a sexual situation? Yeah,maybe this relationship had gotten Taylor hoping and perhaps even daydreamingabout a possible come out someday. I know there has been Swiftgron speculationabout how Dianna wanted to come out, well maybe Taylor was starting toseriously contemplating doing that for/with her? She still knew however that having hope for thatblissful someday where they could befree to love openly was probably gonna lead to disappointment, it was unwise and daydreaming about it was downright dangerous since that’d feed that littleflicker of hope. Yet Taylor doesn’t seem to be able to help herself here. There’shopefulness in the very way she sings these lines if you ask me.

–

(Chorus)

–

This slope is treacherous

I, I, I like it

–

Speaking of hope, to me it seems like the song ends inquite a hopeful way too, Taylor reminds us again that she’s aware that the pathshe’s headed down may be dangerous and unwise, treacherous if you will, butthen lastly she reminds us again that she actually doesn’t care because shelikes that danger. Remind me, in Taylor’s songs what is described as either “dangerous”or “reckless” (or both) most of the time? That’s right people, Taylor Swift likes being a giant lesbian because G IR L S !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That’s the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard tbh)

Oh god, Treacherousreally is a gay mess of a song, huh? I,I, I like it…though!

–

Thanks for reading asalways and I hope you enjoyed!

Next song is The Way I Loved You and I will try to have it up tomorrow though we’vealready established I’m not the best with deadlines, but rest assured I am getting to all of my analysis requestssooner or later, that I promise!

Don’t hesitate tosend me asks if you have suggestions for more songs to analyze from a queerperspective or if you just want to talk or have questions! 😊

#gaylor swift #swiftgron #kaylor #songs #queer analysis #asks

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segenassefa · 3 years

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10: Musical Discourse: Slime Language 2

Young Thug’s new project, Slime Language 2, is almost reminiscent of Pi’erre Bourne’s TLOP4, except more features (Thug got all these niggas in the studio and told them “We’re doing this now or never”), including ex-girlfriend and entrepreneur Karlae, Jim Jones, Drake, Travis Scott, and Coi Leray. There is a heavy YSL l influence (obviously) as well as some OVO features (hey Drake, hey Nav!), Coi Leray (no comment), and even a Rowdy Rebel feature, fresh from the pen. This project does a good job at touching different extremes of the rap music spectrum – Thug manages to get some songs for the ladies (“I Like”, which, to me, is very reminiscent of the City Girls, “On the Low”, and “Trance”), typical athlete walk-out music, and some songs that follow that “no one ever believed in me/everyone leaves me” kinda vibe.

If we’re gonna keep it 100, the album in itself is not necessarily a stand-out – very few songs have that “wow” factor - and to be honest - it’s mid, as the kids would call it. BUT, in the spirit of neutrality, I’ll be breaking down my favourites, as a self-proclaimed know most and trap music enthusiast, especially since today marks the one-month anniversary of its release - and if you disagree, suck ya mum (JK….kinda.)

“Take It to Trial” – Young Thug, YSL, Gunna, Yak Gotti

This track is probably one of the best on the album, and not just because the Yak Gotti feature ties it all together, but for the overall cohesiveness of everyone on the track, which almost makes it sound like one person entirely throughout. Take It to Trial was one of the tracks on the album that was released before the drop of SL2, giving it some time to marinate before the drop of the project in its entirety. While the beat is nothing too crazy, it’s still a standout due to the lyricism of the track and the abnormally high pitch Thug manages to hit on the chorus, as he adamantly requests to take this shit to mf’in trial.

I don’t know if the herpes bar making me think of NBA YoungBoy makes me a bad person, but I guess only time will tell.

“I Like” – YSL, Karlae, Coi Leray

Now, listen. I am not going to lie and say that I support all women. Somewhere in my heart, I know Coi Leray got to where she is due to a combination of light skin privilege (insert noises of disgust), some form of nepotism, her marketability, and her longstanding time in the industry (she was, in fact, one of the Mindless Behaviour video girls, so that in itself should tell you how long she’s secretly been in the game. She’s almost like a slightly darker Alexa Demie, except she isn’t lying about her age).

But this song???

THIS MF SONG?

There has to be crack in it. Because it’s not that good - the beat is not one which you run back for its complexity, nor its lyricism, but DAMN, it’s a good ass song.

Both she and Karlae captured the effortless sexy feeling certain songs are supposed to give you (fellas, not sure if you’ve ever felt it, but I feel like the laydeez know what I mean). It’s giving very much Uber Black on the freeway in an amazing outfit, drunk out of your mind - and I’m here for it! While I do feel like Karlae can rap circles around Coi, if given the opportunity, I think one thing I can say is that Coi does have the unabashed confidence of a man in her same position and that in itself makes this song *that* much more powerful.

“Mil in Vegas” – YSL, Young Thug, NAV

When I’m old and in my nursing home of choice (Astagfurallah, but you never know), I hope Young Thug drops a purely R&B album; something like Hndrxx but a lil’ less suicidal.

Or that the nursing home has enough money to hire him for a mid-afternoon senior citizen concert, but let’s tackle one problem at a time.

This track is almost like the niggas’ version of “I Like” but instead of boo boo Mizz Leray, we get a melodic NAV feature. In addition to my appreciation of him realizing he needs to stop using the fucking n-word (he shouldn’t have been using it in the first place, but progress is better than perfection), I think there’s something to be said with rap songs that are done outside of the major key; it def adds a little pinash, and some depth that wouldn’t have been there before – and NAV’s voice is suited perfectly for these otherwise challenging scales.

The only other thing going for this song is the way Thug looks in that yellow turtleneck on the Spotify visualizer – and with that being said, I hope niggas will be rocking more bright colors in the seasons to come.

(Also, what the fuck is NAV’s obsession with Los Angeles? I swear there’s at least one bar in every song).

“Slatty” – YSL, Young Thug, Gunna, Lil Duke, Yak Gotti

Mark my motherfucking words - when we have in-person sporting events, I will bet my Large Telfar bag that at least one draftee has this song as their walk-out music.

This track incorporates the one word that every nigga in YSL records (and current rap culture) has heat-stamped in their vocabulary, and while the word “slat” has been massacred by hordes of white teenage boys on TikTok, I will say that this chorus is catchy as fuck.

The real star of this song (shockingly) is the juxtaposition of Yak Gotti’s gritty, emory-board vocal cords, the raspy voice of Lil Duke, and the familiar buttery sound of Thug’s vocals.

Why the visualizer has P. Diddy in it, God only knows. But our adeer is doing his thing in those big ass Versace shades, so who am I to say anything.

“Diamonds Dancing” – YSL, Young Thug, Travis Scott, Gunna

I have no commentary other than asking rappers to please stop using Dr. King for any of their metaphors – he cheated on Correta with a white woman (and only one that we KNOW of, for that matter).

So, I stand here humbly before you, petitioning for the alternative bars including:

“Dripped in Dolce & Gabanna / Black diamonds like Thomas Sankara”

“New girl like Lori Harvey / chain Black like Africa, Marcus Garvey”

or something along those lines. Even a Sojourner Truth bar, at this fucking point.

“Solid” – YSL, Young Thug, Gunna, Drake

Of course, OF FUCKING COURSE, this track was saved by none other than the culture vulture himself - the man, the myth, and apparently now, the fucking candlemaker, Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham.

(Sidenote: Why is graham such a hard word to spell?).

I know y’all niggas heard - and felt - him very clearly when he said he needed some head and some moral support right away (not like y’all are gonna get any, but understandable if you felt it).

Something about the subtle use of steel pan, and mafioso type beat that the OVO clan has such an affinity for, really brings this hoe all the way together.

Another interesting point to note – and why I think Thug and Gunna make such an incomparable duo - is the fact that Thug and Gunna could almost pass for one another on the second verse, and even in the chorus. The only distinctive giveaway in this is the fact that Gunna does not make use of the whimsical bars in the same way that Thug does (because who the fuck is putting macaroni and cheese in their pockets besides the man who made a whole Instagram live about having a dirty dick? Exactly.)

Surprisingly though, this is one of the only songs on the album that hasn’t drilled holes in my eardrums, even after listening to it for an entire month, so bravo on them for that.

“Proud of You” – YSL, Young Thug, Lil Uzi Vert, Yung Kayo

I’m going to use this song to expose my corniness in saying I’ve definitely thought of using this song for some Instagram captions.

I think the combined genius of Thug and Uzi is often overlooked due to everyone wanting to worship Uzi with the androgynous Vampire Ma- I mean, Carti (who also makes a great duo with Uzi in his own right, but Uzi and Thug just remind me of two eccentric uncles, minus a few decades).

It was also rumored in 2018 that these niggas had over fifteen hundred songs together and I honestly wouldn’t it put it past them for that to be true.

Will they all be hits? Probably not, but it’s nice to be a dreamer – plus, their previous tracks (What’s the Move, It’s A Slime and Strawberry Peels) can’t be disregarded either.

“Really Be Slime” – YSL, Young Thug, FN DaDealer, YNW Melly, Bslime

In my honest opinion, I think YNW Melly (and TayK!) should have been pardoned from jail way before Reptar (Kodak) or the other gremlin, Mr. Weezy F Baby – not doubting this artistry, but I do think this man requires a serious rest; musically, emotionally, and physically).

This nigga Melly bodies every feature and brings such mischievous energy to every single track. Also, the minute the rhymed “butter pecan” and “Puerto Rican”, he was fr a genius in my high school eyes.

You can’t deny that the other niggas on the track, even Young Thug himself, fall a little short and that FN DaDealer is trying a bit hard to give us Lil Baby teas, but for what it is, it’s not a bad song. The beat, again, nothing too impressive, but I’m honestly just so glad to hear a YNW Melly feature after what feels like forever.

And that about wraps it up – overall, I’d give this project a solid 5/10. It could have done a bit more; and for the number of features (as well as their duality), honestly could have been more experimental. I get that this was highly anticipated, but in that case, I’m sure niggas wouldn’t have minded waiting a bit longer for it to go the extra mile.

If you feel like I missed any important tracks, that’s too damn bad; but feel free to argue with me in the comments of Instagram.

Until then…*turns on “I Like”*.

#cashmoneysegs #slime #language #2 #young #thug #rap #hiphop #blog post 10 #cm$

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bananban-feature · 4 years

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Why Do I Like BTS

I wrote this on my other blog before I decided to make this special feature blog where I would put all of my interests.

On 31st October 2020:

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It’s been exactly one month since I became a BTS fan. And my obsession has just become crazy recently, despite deliberately trying to avoid thinking about them. So I wanted to dig deep on why this group had this much effect on me, despite being an unlikely music choice against my taste.

I absolutely did not expect for this post to be so long! I guess I just had a lot to say, and I have to let it all out. That’s why I’m going crazy. Hope my brain gets better after writing.

How I Got Interested

I will never forget this video because this is the one that got me really interested in BTS (and Kpop after): Live performance of Dynamite - Bedroom Remix (https://youtu.be/liyn48Amjdw). I was just so impressed by a few things in this that I watched it so many times!

First of all, it was my first time listening to this song as a whole. First time listening to it live, too. It’s a very catchy song! This is my jam.

Jungkook’s whole intro - 1) His stable voice while doing the moonwalk and all that dancing. I knew Kpop artists can sing, I knew Kpop artists can dance, but to do both at the same time that well? It was very obvious that this was live singing, and yet his voice was so clean while dancing, and easy to listen to. (Tbh, I wasn’t all that impressed by the vocal line’s singing aside from him and Jimin, and surprisingly - Jhope, who is actually not part of the vocal line.) And 2) His stage presence. I really enjoyed watching him go through his whole part because it really seemed like he was having SO MUCH FUN!!! It just changed my view of kpop idols that screamed they are manufactured and they are stressed. Jungkook just really seemed to genuinely enjoy performing. Maybe his smile, as a handsome person, was also a slight factor, but I really think it was the energy he gave off. Tbh, this goes for all of them!

Subsequently after that, the members stood up one by one. RM impressed me with a rap that’s well done, particularly the way he said “this beat chaching like money” with a wink. (He’s was charismatic!) I don’t know, it could be just the song writing. Or it could be him. Again, the fun energy!

J-hope was next, and I was impressed by the way he delivered his part, especially the high pitch in “I’m diamond” and the riff in “you know I glow up.” I thought, wow, they’re all doing their parts so well, I did not expect this. (Also, RM’s “hey, so let’s go!” idk it’s so good.)

In fact, as the video progressed, you can see that it was not just Jungkook who was enjoying but all of them. All of the members did (except for SUGA and his constant poker face, even though I’m now a big SUGA stan). The way the members looked at whoever was performing was a look of great delight. And they supported each other’s lines with nice adlibs. It’s such a very positive fun, friendly, and brotherly energy.

Jimin’s solemn part came and it was just simply angelic. I have another note on this - Jimin. He was the only BTS member I knew of before this! I know him because I once saw a video on a guy spending thousands of dollars to look like him, saying he had the most perfect face of all. I was like, “Huh? He’s not even that handsome!” I also know him because he was mentioned in a TwoSet violin reaction video (me as an absolute TwoSet fan). Eddie is a Jimin fan! Anyway, Jimin’s part was absolutely angelic, and I didn’t expect it. I used to dislike the idea of being a fan of Jimin, cause he was being idolized for his visuals when he actually wasn’t the best in it (this was me before becoming a BTS fan), but I suddenly understood when I saw him perform. He was ADORABLE. It’s hard to hate him. Plus, his cute dance at the end.

The video just kept getting better with Jungkook’s high note. (I gotta say, Dynamite was really JK era.)

Anyway, I was so impressed by this performance. The caption of the friend who posted this was about “Taehyung” and I wanted to know what part of the video she was talking about. Who is Taehyung? On top of that, I wanted to know what Jungkook’s name was (and they look incredibly alike if you don’t know them), cause he was obviously my favorite in this video, so I tried to know all their names!

I googled all of them and Jin and V’s visuals were making me blush!!! That’s when I started to really try to get to know them by reading “BTS 101″ articles and watching more performances/music videos. SUGA’s part in the article was interesting, seeing how he went through financial struggles, and how he’s very vocal about society’s issues and his mental illnesses. It struck a chord in my heart.

I also looked out for their dance moves (in true kpop fashion) in their performances, and I was just blown away by the fact that it’s so well choreographed and well-performed, and they’re singing live on top of that. “ON” in Grand Central Terminal? Crazy! I personally liked Mic Drop too because it was my favorite from Sunny Funny Fitness’s Zumba (even though I didn’t know who BTS was). Also knew Boy With Luv from Zumba, so it wasn’t hard to listen to the song. And Spring Day was just familiar (probably from TwoSet violin).

Oh, I forgot, I’ve already seen their Carpool Karaoke with James Corden (as a carpool karaoke fan) a few times way before I knew them. I watched it more than once cause they’re so funny and it’s just interesting to see a kpop group in there.

Now that I’m looking back, I’m surprised to know I still remember this much detail about that fateful hour that got me into BTS mode.

It’s crazy cause now, I’m less focused on their performances, but on videos that show their personality and relationships.

Having Biases

My bias keeps changing: Jungkook (a charismatic performer) > V (as a good-looking cool kid, who apparently is an actual baby) > Jin (the good-looking, loving/kind, and crazy hyung who is also a fake maknae) > Maknae line (crackheads, fun and talented/aesthetically-pleasing bunch, including Jin) > Jungkook (idk he’s just cute, and considered golden maknae) > Suga (cool rap lines, wonderful opennes, hard work, talent, wisdom, etc) > RM (genius and best leader of kpop) > Rap Line (the OG writers that give depth to BTS songs), OT7 (they are all special in their own way), etc

Overall, I personally relate the most to Suga and Jungkook. Suga in his openness about mental issues and being a tired old man. Jungkook in having many interests and hobbies, also shyness. I am also not sure why but I definitely resonate with Jin’s personality too (definitely not the looks though, I’m not that gorgeous.)

The Effect

I want to talk about the effect of BTS on me, healthy and unhealthy:

The good thing they’ve brought me is my interest in exercise the week I became a fan. Suddenly, exercise became fun because it was dancing to their songs (Zumba) and listening to their songs while jogging.

Me comparing myself to them, but with a more positive effect - Seeing how they’ve achieved so much despite being young, I keep telling myself, I want to achieve more, too, and work hard like them. The truth is, I also think that if BTS meets me and sees my situation as a bum who just keeps watching videos all day long, it sounds really pathetic.

I am so inspired by their personality and friendship. Everybody appreciates and genuinely loves the others, with no competition. They’re all very humble, very honest, and very caring. It makes me want to be kind and love other people like that too.

I just keep watching their clips and Youtube videos about them. As I said, I love watching things showing their character and relationships. It’s a waste of time, really, but I can’t help it. I want to watch all of Run BTS, but now I’m trying not to. There came a point where I can’t work if I’m not also watching their clips in the background.

The obsession - I have been thinking about them a lot these days, especially Jungkook. It’s very weird. “What would Jungkook like?” It’s a very weird situation in my head. I started thinking what kind of girl he and the rest of BTS would like, and would like to ship them with the best and most talented girls in the world, if not me lol.

The negative side of comparing myself to them is wanting to be as talented as them or noticed by them, and focusing my thoughts around that, I guess. This includes wanting to live in a first world country like Korea, where life seems better and easier.

The Unlikely Music Choice

I’m not a Hip Hop fan! Anyone can tell, my vibe is mostly on the acoustic side. I am very much impressed by Suga’s rap and I love him for that, but the truth is, I don’t exactly know what good rap sounds like, because I barely heard any rap. The sound of BTS songs (both old and new) isn’t exactly the type that I would intentionally listen to (aside from the non-hiphop sounding ones). In fact, I only began to like Hip hop because of BTS.

I am also not a typical Kpop and dance fan. As I said, I’m more of an acoustic gal. I don’t value dancing skills as much as other people. I would put kpop in the lower part of my “upbeat songs” folder, which I would listen to for jogging. Again, I would never have intentionally listened to songs like Black Swan, Fire, and BST. Not my jam. But look at me now, impressed with them and I just don’t know why.

I said all these gaps in my interest, but now I started to genuinely enjoy the hip hop and kpop genre. I’ve even explored other groups.

Vocals - I am saying I don’t give a lot of value to dance, so I look at singing. But even in singing, they aren’t the best either. I don’t like Jin and V’s voices to be honest, I really mistook them for visuals who were just forced to sing. (It’s true for Jin. Hearing V’s opera voice changed this view, but I still don’t like his ordinary singing voice cause it sounds so muffled.) Jungkook is a great singer, but there are also guys better than him or at the same level as him in other groups, also good-looking, also good in dance. (Not sure about the dance part, cause I haven’t really seen other people’s performances, but I’m sure there are a lot more power vocals out there, like Exo guys or something.)

Talent (Instruments) - I’m totally an instruments person! I am always most impressed by singers/performers who are multi-talented, and play their own instruments - like Henry Lau (talent genius, I love him), and I know there are a lot more who aren’t noticed. But none of BTS are really all that great in instruments, though they’re starting to learn. Suga plays the piano, but he never really uses it in performances, so it is yet to truly impress me.

In terms of friendship, I haven’t seen other groups, but I heard they’re also close. IDK.

So why do I like them?

The Possible Reasons

I guess it’s that they are my first serious exposure to excellent dance performances in kpop. (I know now there are also other groups with synchronized and difficult dances, but back then, kpop groups’ dances that I know of did not make my jaw drop). Seriously, ON was so good. I guess it’s also the type of music they have that accentuates their incredible choreography and intense performance.

Their relationships with each other - Their brotherly love for each other is just so cute. From friendly banters, crackhead crazy moments, supporting each other (physically, mentally and emotionally) and even showing all their affection physically and verbally - it’s all very heartwarming. They truly love and appreciate one another and their togetherness.

They are crackheads and they all are genuinely nice people. I just love their stupid antics, Jin’s dad jokes, Jungkook’s banter, Maknae line’s mischief, and all their BTS craziness even from the hyung rap line.

On top of this, as it manifests in their relationships, they are really good-hearted men. They care about others, and are humble enough to talk issues through. Their synergy is really cool, seeing how they are all different people, but they work so well together, and I personally believe it’s because of their character.

Songwriting - I am a fan of actual artists - performers who make their own music, write and produce their own songs. Suga and RM’s (especially RM) writing makes BTS songs deep and speak volumes to people. The others have learned to create music too, so that’s nice. Honestly, I didn’t realize this until I heard people talk about this in the many comments I read. I didn’t know their songs had a lot of meaning. And I didn’t know they had that much involvement in their outputs. I just appreciate the idea that it has a lot of meaning, especially that they apparently speak about social issues that other kpop groups won’t talk about.

They’re good at other things too, like sports. Jungkook is just so fit. Suga is good in basketball. Jin is good in cooking. RM has a high IQ.

I guess they’re just so charismatic! Both on stage and off-stage!

Other people’s good word. A lot of promotions. Their personalities are also easily accessible. IDK.

Thinking about this and considering the possibility (and the fact) that there are many kpop groups and other musicians that are more handsome than them, more talented than them, and are also friendly with each other, I don’t know why I’m just that interested in checking them out. I guess I’ve filled my cup with a stan. Or maybe BTS has become too familiar, that they’ve become my comfort. Maybe getting to know other groups seems like another wave of extreme efforts, especially after seeing the effect it has on me.

I am a natural fan girl and addict. But I don’t think many musicians have impacted me like BTS did. (Even CN Blue, who fits the talent checklist in terms of instrument and songwriting, didn’t make me this obsessed.)

Oh well. It must be the promo being done by Big Hit. (I still like Bang PD for being a great CEO, giving the artists musical freedom and having more loose conditions for the idols than other companies.)

I sincerely hope writing all this quiets down my brain.

Nov Update: I’ve began to realize that the power of ARMYs are that strong because they are so effective in building a deep emotional connection to them. They have shown a lot of themselves in their different reality shows, and even in the way they are interviewed. Bighit really knows how to highlight one strong point about them - their great personalities. Getting to know them is both like becoming closer to friends and getting inspiration and learnings from icons. You get to have access to their inner thoughts and creative space. The way they speak and the message they put out also touches the hearts of many. On top of this, because they now work on a big budget, all their performances and productions are next level! Our jaw just drop because of the stage set ups and all that.

Additional observation: Upon watching other groups’ clips, I feel like BTS has a different kind of relationship with each other compared to them. While other groups obviously have fun and are very close, BTS are like family. They also have fun, but they are very expressive of their affection towards each other, not just verbally but also physically. They hug and touch each other randomly all the time, but I haven’t exactly seen other groups do that. So I guess there’s that.

Seven members is a good number - there is enough variety in personalities, but not too many that you don’t get to know each one enough/deeper. I feel like BTS members are a perfect fit for each other, each person has their own type of appeal. Other groups tend to have members that have similar vibes. But in BTS, there’s no duplicate, each one is so unique. RM is the charismatic, intelligent, socially-relevant leader, well-respected by everyone. Suga is the cool swag rapper with tsundere vibes, who also acts like a tired old man. Jhope is the fashionable dancer knows all the latest trends, who also brings a different flavor of rap. Jimin is the petite, “effeminate”, loving, angelic character with intense performance duality. V is the 4D personality who acts like a baby but gives a high fashion smize on stage/photo shoots. Jin is the super handsome and incredibly funny guy, but also acts like a mom to them. Jungkook is the youngest who beats his hyungs physically and is good at everything. There’s no duplicate! And what can I say, they really have the visuals!

#BTS #kpop #music

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32ortonedge32dh · 7 years

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Red Hot Chili Peppers - By the Way

Background

I’ve been a lifelong fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I wanted to go back and actually review one of their most lauded albums and one of my favorites of all time. This is their eighth album overall, their second album after John Frusciante rejoined the band, and one of their most successful.

Track by Track Thoughts

Even from the introduction to the introduction to the album, “By the Way” is great. I love how Flea’s bass and John Frusciante’s guitar go from working together to almost playing against each other. The lyrics, of course, make no sense. It’s a Red Hot Chili Peppers record, right? Anthony Kiedis is back rapping, but putting them at the beginning of the album might lead you to believe that they’re more prominent than they actually are throughout. That’s not a knock on the song itself but it’s an interesting choice for a lead single, title track, and album opener. There’s a nice buildup into the “heavy” sections of the song, and for a rock band the guitar plays so much less of a role than any listener would come to expect from the genre or the band. You’ll hear this a lot in this review but John comes through with amazing backing vocals, with tracks both in a high register and matching Kiedis’. The way they build with every iteration of the hook is really cool, and the timbre between the two singers is really nice on the ears. My only gripes are that the “bow wow wow” and vocal effects on the verses aren’t too great isolated, but even still they add to the feeling of the song. I also still wanna know what the hell he’s saying on the bridge even if it’s just gibberish. (Side note: A while back I made my own remix of this song. You can listen to it here. You might not like it but I do, it’s sure different at least.)

“Universally Speaking” is relatively subdued, but since it follows the soft ending of “By the Way,” it feels a little bit more powerful. There’s almost a tension in the instrumentation which is really interesting to listen for. This is one of the tracks where you realize the interesting niche genius of Anthony’s vocals. It’s not technically proficient or amazing on its own but it all always just works so well with the music he’s over. The guitar tone on this song is really really good, I love it. One thing I don’t like though is the effect on the guitars in the pre-chorus; it’s mixed so badly as is the final hook on this track. Rick Rubin is trash. The backing vocals, on the other hand, are so perfect. On the subject of Frusciante, this is a typical solo of his: It’s simple and it follows the bones of what’s there, nestling in so nicely the actual technicality is irrelevant. The song as a whole doesn’t exactly go anywhere musically, but it’s still nice.

“This Is the Place” is the first bass-led song of the album, with a really nice riff that unfortunately disappears in the mix after the intro. Rick Rubin is trash. I’m not the biggest fan of the held notes in the vocals, it’s never been Anthony’s strong suit. A positive thing I can say about the production is that the chorus is mixed so well. The high end, low end, and mids are all represented really nicely and come through clearly. The backing vocals are great, naturally (seeing the pattern?). There’s a terrible transition between vocal takes around 1:22 in, it’s so distracting and takes you out of it if you’re listening intently. Rick Rubin is trash. The synthesizer “woo oo ooo” is pleasant, but it sounds so similar to John’s voice that I wonder if it would have been better as a bit that he sang. The guitar tone on the chorus is so nice. I like how it bursts into the bridge without needing to be heavy. The vocal melody is so good they reused it for B-side “Rivers of Avalon.” The backing vocals are amazing. Sublime. The lyrics are powerful throughout this track and are a great microcosm how personal Anthony’s writing has gotten on this album. It doesn’t have a big ending or anything but it doesn’t need one.

The four part guitar section on “Dosed” absolutely beautiful. Flea actually contributed to some of the playing. It’s so hard to accomplish without the magic of a studio or a bunch of players that they didn’t actually play this song live for fifteen years; it took a new guitarist and a lot of loop pedaling to get it done. There’s delightful vocals on this thing from John and, more surprisingly, Anthony too. When that hook hits and John’s voice comes through so clearly it’s just awesome. The way they trade lines, the emotion, Anthony’s counterpoint harmony that’s low but audible in the mix, it’s just a perfect chorus. The little switch-ups on the last repetition and the transition into the bridge are really great too. The solo is, again, nothing special on paper, but with the beauty of the song as a whole and in particular the guitar work, any sort of flashiness would almost certainly detract from it all. One thing that’s often overlooked are Chad’s drums on the Chili Peppers’ studio recordings. They’re flawless every time. The tone, the way he creates and sits in the groove, the way he complements all three members of the band while laying down tracks that are so nice to focus on all on their own. It stuck out to me more than usual here. This is a perfect track as-is and that’s not easy, usually even less so when you break the five minute mark.

“Don’t Forget Me” is the second song where Flea’s bass leads the charge. I’ve always been a sucker for pretty bass chords and that’s this whole song. I’m not a fan of the echo on the vocals though, especially after the solo. The guitar is simple and nice. It manages to be organized and frenetic at the same time somehow, peaceful and chaotic at once. There’s a big explosion into the hook, with nice backing vocals from both Anthony and John that are infinitely more interesting than the main ones, but I suspect they wouldn’t be nearly as cool if they were the focal point. It’s a well written piece. It’s fascinating how many errant vowel sounds Kiedis can cram into the word “alone.” This one has another simple solo, with some vocals mimicking it that build up behind the guitar and sound so cool. The bass builds too, getting louder and sounding cool as usual. The ending almost feels improvised, like one of their live jams. While I’m almost certainly sure it isn’t, it gives the song a cool resolution and a different feeling than others on here.

I love the electronic drum beat that plays throughout “The Zephyr Song,” just below the live drums. The riff is so cool, I swear I could listen to it on repeat all day. The backing vocals on the verses are just profoundly gorgeous. The bass adds to the low end without distracting or taking away from anything. It’s just filling the sound out and I’d bet that’s a Frusciante decision. The hi-hat work is excellent. I feel like the chorus could be improved but I’m not really sure how...maybe more interesting vocals? Maybe more guitar? I dunno. You tell me. The transition back into verses is awesome, and John just keeps coming with the vocals until we’re right back in the chorus. The ooh la las are so great. You could count the notes in the solo on your fingers but it’s a nice little eight bar change-up. There’s more great vocals on the bridge too. There’s a really, really annoying AutoTune hiccup three minutes in. Rick Rubin is trash. The dreamy ending is the cherry on top of this song, I especially like how Anthony’s “forever” fades into John’s vocals until he’s the only one that’s left singing.

Next is “Can’t Stop.” (Side note: I'm using the Frusciante single/video mix because it's the one I have and I respect myself too much to listen to Rubin's mix. Rick Rubin is trash.) This song has such a fun riff and buildup to start it off. Anthony brings back the raps. The bass is so good, especially when it kicks in; it makes the song. Then you get the backing vocals, which are awesome and turn amazing in the second verse and perfect in the third. I kinda wish the chorus would evolve in the same sort of way that the verses do, but it’s still a good one. All the elements hit you at once and come together. You can pick out any one to focus on and you’ll feel how good it is. The hand claps in the rhythm section add to the general fun feeling of the song. The reggae-influenced breakdown is cool, I wish the drums would have let up here but it still works the way it is. The solo is, in my eyes, really just an excuse to let the bass get over, it’s just so many held notes you can relegate it to the back of your ears if that makes sense. You get to really appreciate what Flea’s doing. I wish Anthony’s energy would come down with the rest of the song, but as long as we don’t get a repeat of this, I guess I’ll take it.

“I Could Die for You” is a slower, chiller number. I find myself coming back to it less for some reason even though I enjoy it. There’s a little issue with the vocals again at thirty seconds, maybe another problem mixing different tracks. Rick Rubin is trash. This overall just feels like a quick little mini-ballad. The vocals on the chorus, all the voices and notes complement so well. The best part of the entire song is John singing “how we are.” The swirly atmospheric effects could have been left out for sure. There’s really cool guitar ideas just sprinkled in, mostly at the end.

“Midnight” has some of my favorite strings in any song ever. They add so much all throughout. It’s a hard track not to sing along to, especially as John joins in on the pre-chorus. They’re easy notes to reach, too, but they sound good. And who doesn’t wanna be a lotus kid? It doesn’t really venture anywhere musically, but it builds so well and sounds so good that it’s another one you can’t tinker with. On Anthony’s end there’s some great multisyllabic rhymes, at least great on the ear. I can’t really speak to the quality of the lyrics themselves.

Right away on “Throw Away Your Television” you hear this cool bassline, and then the drums kick in, bringing this cool primal energy to the track. The guitar starts off just playing these little stabs and scratches for the most part; it’s another exercise in buildup. This is a very digital track for this stage in their career, lots of effects and glitchy sounds and effects. I can’t tell if there’s an effect on the vocals at some points or if it’s bad editing, but I’m not a fan either way. The solo here is so cool. On the surface it’s just this series of random notes, no connection to each other, all thrown at you so quickly with no breather, but it works together to create the resolution to all this craziness. It’s like the whole song is a vehicle for it and it works really well.

“Cabron.” What a cute, pretty song. All acoustic which is rare for the Chilis. It’s got this Spanish feel to it which makes perfect sense when you hear the lyrics and understand it’s from the perspective of a gang member trying to end this warfare between his gang and another. It’s so upbeat and happy but still trying to get that feeling across and it does it well. And using “cabrón” as the title and hook is a genius move. It’s something you’d call your best friend and your worst enemy. No matter how the subject’s message and efforts are received, it fits as his response to theirs. This is one of my favorites.

“Tear” is too long if not unnecessary. It could easily be cut down to three, three and a half minutes if it even had to make the album. There’s no reason for it to though when there’s so many great B-sides like “Fortune Faded,” “Havana Affair,” and even the instrumental “Slowly Deeply.” The keyboard is nice but this is one that can’t afford to not go anywhere. It should evolve somehow. The song’s best feature, as is par for the course on this project, is the backing vocals on the chorus. The bass is kinda nice and the trumpet is better, so John and Flea’s contributions are the only reasons to really play this one.

“On Mercury” is an amazing song and it picks up the pace after “Tear.” That sound is really nice, from the...horn? Maybe something else. It’s definitely some sort of wind instrument and it’s reminiscent of a car horn, but not in a bad way. It’s such a fun song with the bass, the guitar, the drums (especially the hi-hats), and the great vocals from Anthony and John (but we all know who the MVP is at this point). The way they expand on the pre-chorus the second go-round is cool. The second chorus repetition having the dueling backing vocals is even cooler, but the third, wow. You get absolutely steamrolled by this sexy, lush wall of sound. Synths and some dreamy guitar and John’s voice, all playing together and separately and making something better than the sum of its parts. Beautiful.

You gotta love that bass sound on “Minor Thing.” This is another fun one, but less than the one that precedes it. There’s a pretty cool percussive vocal pattern and almost a Hendrix-like solo sound, although not as obvious as what we’ll see later in their discography on “Dani California.” The strings are nice here but they’re not so necessary. They don’t add enough to be warranted in my opinion.

The penultimate song, “Warm Tape,” is more chill than the previous two by far. I’m not a fan at all of the big room effect on Anthony’s verses. The acoustic guitar is used so well on the chorus, and gives you almost a Western feel when combined with the electric guitar’s notes in the background and the voices of Anthony and John. It’s a really cool song. The synthesizer is a nice touch. The “settle for love” vocals just don’t sound good though. It’s got its charm, but it feels like a cool down before the main event.

“Venice Queen” has a really beautiful riff to start with. Nice and understated, too. The atmosphere is built so well. It reminds me a lot of the album Shadows Collide with People, which just shows me it’s a Frusciante production. Both singers do great here, the melody, the harmony, everything. The piano and acoustic guitar that’s peppered in sound so good.

Then you get to 2:40 and you get an entirely different song. It’s chiller and more exciting all at once. The acoustic guitar goes from afterthought to forefront, while the electric slides to the background just giving the track texture. We get another great new vocal melody and, at the “G-L-O-R-I-A” bit, a really cool new riff, ascending and descending all at once. John’s backing vocals take the forefront at times here to great effect. The emotions are palpable again on this song, but interestingly more so through John than Anthony, even though these lyrics are presumably only personal to Anthony. Maybe John’s drawing from something in his own past, or maybe he’s just that good. My educated guess is that it’s both. This is the longest song on the album and for good reason. It’s essentially a twofer and both are amazing.

Final Thoughts

There were hints on Californication, but the funk rock, the punkiness, the youth-gone-wild je ne sais quoi of old is all but gone with this incarnation of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. There’s not much rap on this release, there’s not much of that old funky energy. Maybe you get hints on songs like “Can’t Stop” or “On Mercury.” But don’t mistake that for a bad thing. You trade that off but you get a grown man energy on tracks like “Throw Away Your Television.” You get better songwriting like on “Venice Queen.” You get a wider range of emotion. It’s definitely an evolution for the better.

This is as close to a John Frusciante passion project as the Chili Peppers could ever put out and it shows in the energies, textures, and guitar work that they never truly replicated before or since. If you’re new to this new group and looking for a follow-up, I’d recommend their latest album The Getaway from 2016, or Frusciante’s aforementioned solo album Shadows Collide with People.

There’s definitely things that could have been executed better or tinkered with here, but overall you can’t hate on this. There’s so many perfect songs and parts of songs all throughout. To me this is an easy 9.5/10, but since I don’t do decimals on here for whatever reason, my final score is a 9/10.

#music #music review #review #9/10

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generallynerdy · 7 years

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All I Ask of You (Bucky Barnes X Reader, TBT Special, Part 1)

Summary: A Marvel High AU! Because that’s original! You, reader, have had a huge crush on Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, jock, since the day you met him. Your best friends, Natasha and Bucky, have tried to convince you, since that very day, that he isn’t who you think he is. In a stroke of luck, your crush, your best friend, and yourself end up cast as one of the most historic theater love triangles; Christine, The Phantom, and Raoul. Dealing with a bad past, living with your best friend, having to share a bed with said best friend, and also finding out a secret about the same friend that has to do with you were not on your list of ideal events this year.

Key: (Y/N)-your name

Today’s Playlist: Literally the entire Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack. But mostly the main theme, All I Ask of You, and Past the Point of No Return.

Cast: YOU! Bucky (James) Buchanan Barnes, Tony Stark, and basically every other MCU Avengers Character. (Note: I wrote this a long time ago, so some characters weren’t in the MCU at the time)

Warnings: Language, Extreme Overload of Theater Kid-ness, Bad Poetry

Status: Complete

Note: *Cringe* Okay so this was one of the first one-shots I EVER wrote, so I decided to post it as a Throwback Thursday type thing and I’m sort of regretting that. Screw it! Imma post it anyway.

As a theater kid with singing abilities, it was my sworn duty to audition for my high school’s rendition of The Phantom of the Opera. What I didn’t expect was for both my crush and my best friend to audition as well. What was even more surprising was when we all landed the main roles.

James was Raoul, Tony was Erik, and I landed Christine.

This should be fun.

I gasped as Nat pulled the cast list away from my face, smirking. “Congrats, (Y/N). Should be an interesting show.” I ripped the cast list from her hand and reread the list of characters multiple times as Nat’s expression only became smugger.

“There is no way!” I looked at her for confirmation.

“Yes, way.” Nat nodded. “You, the biggest playboy known to Marvel High, and your childhood best friend, who swore he couldn’t sing, by the way, landed the most historic love triangle in theater history.”

“I wouldn’t say the most historic,” I mumbled under my breath.

Nat ignored my comment, “Not to mention that the playboy just happens to be your crush of a few years, though I have no idea why.”

“Natasha Romanoff,” I chided, “You have no right to judge my choice of men.”

She gave me another smug look and raised her eyebrows, “No, but I can judge your choice of boy.”

I found James right after school. He had been avoiding me all day, but I had my ways. Steve was quick to take my bribe.

Steve blocked James from exiting out the back door of the school, where we usually left school together. I smirked to myself, knowing that if Nat were here she’d slap the back of James’ head for such a stupid move.

“C’mon, Steve, please just let me out.” James groaned, begging.

Steve shook his head loyally, arms crossed. “Sorry, Buck, you know I can’t do that.”

James sighed, “What’s she giving you this time?”

Steve glanced at his feet but didn’t reply. I took this as my cue and turned the corner into the hall. “Brownies.”

James turned, frowning in defeat. Steve regained his confidence and relaxed a little, “You still need me, (Y/N)?”

I smiled at him. “Nope. He should stick around now. Thanks for your help, Cap.” I used his schoolwide nickname and gave a little salute. As captain of the football (American, sadly), it was appropriate. He rolled his eyes and walked out.

“So, Bucky-” I said dramatically, walking slowly toward my best friend. “Raoul, huh?”

He sighed, “Uh huh…”

I paused and we sat in silence. Then I burst out, ignoring my earlier decorum, “You should’ve told me!”

He smiled, knowing that I wouldn’t be angry for long. “I’m not sorry. I don’t think I’m that great, anyway.”

I scoffed, “Said every talented person ever.” He rubbed his neck self consciously until I grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him. Well, as best I could his strength. “SHOW ME!!”

Bucky smiled devilishly, “You’ll have to wait ‘til practice.” He started toward the door.

I frowned at the sing-song way he said it and followed him out the door, intending to continue bugging him about it. Unfortunately, the moment we stepped outside, Bucky broke into a run. I sighed and chased after him.

We did this often as our sort of daily exercise, though Buck and I still ran with Steve and Sam sometimes. As football players, it was their duty. And me? I just don’t like being left behind.

I was practically hopping up and down in my chair when the first practice began. I stopped when Tony walked in, though, because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself.

Our director split us up into three groups. About one-third of the cast, including Tony, hadn’t seen the movie and were sent to watch it. Another third had seen the movie but needed to refresh their memory of the songs. Bucky surprised me by being in the final group with me.

Since our group was ready to begin practice, our director assigned us songs to work on. She wanted us to work on duet or group members since we had the whole cast today. Tony and the others I had numbers with hadn’t watched the movie yet, so I could only work with Bucky. I didn’t mind, though. In fact, I was ecstatic.

“Sing! Sing! Sing!” I chanted, waltzing circles around Bucky in the practice room.

He chuckled, “(Y/N), I don’t even know what to sing.”

I scoffed, “Raoul only has a couple big numbers with Christine.” I pointed to myself. “How about we try All I Ask of You?”

He blushed a little, “Really? The romantic one?”

I rolled my eyes, “Wow, Buck. Can’t even pretend to be in love with your best friend.” I taunted his acting abilities, hoping that he would give in.

“Fine.”

I cheered and hugged him around the neck. After setting up our music on my phone (Bucky had a flip phone, the old soul), we prepared to sing.

Bucky took a deep breath from where he stood, opposite me. “No more talk of darkness-” He blushed when he noticed my jaw drop. With that silky smooth voice, he should’ve been on Broadway by now. It took him a moment to get the right key and he didn’t sing very loudly, but it was still impressive.

“Forget these wide-eyed fears-” I zoned out a little, listening to his voice and his verse passed quickly. “I’m here with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.”

I cleared my throat and began to sing. “Say you love me every waking moment-” Bucky smiled brightly at hearing my voice and I blushed deeply. He really knew had to make a girl feel great about herself.

The song was over much faster than I wanted and Bucky had to go work on another number.

I heard slow clapping behind me and turned to find Tony there. “Damn.”

“H-How long have you-”

He smiled, “Just caught the last verse. You have a pretty voice, (Y/N), is it?”

I nodded, blushing. “T-Thanks.”

“Actually, I’ve had my eye on you for a while now, weird as it sounds.” He said, causing my heart to skip a beat. “I was wondering if you want to hang out sometime?”

My heart caught in my chest, “S-Sure!”

Tony’s smile brightened, “Great!” He handed me a slip of paper with some digits on it. “Call me.”

With that, he was gone. And I was dead.

“HE WHAT?!”

I giggled at Nat as she tripped in her ballet shoes after hearing my news. “He invited me to hang out with him.”

“(Y/N), you can’t!” She exclaimed, standing once again.

I put my hands on my hips, “And why not?”

“Well for one,” Nat counted on her hand, “He’s sexist, a jerk, a playboy, and the only good things about him are his looks and money.”

“You forgot the genius part, Nat,” I added, frustrated.

She snorted, “Maybe in the classroom. He isn’t very street smart.”

I sighed, “Nat, could you please be a little supportive?”

“No! You’re going to get hurt, (Y/N), and as your friend, it’s my job to prevent that!”

I clenched my fists. “I know what I’m doing, Nat! Stop trying to replace my mother!” I suddenly grew furious with her. Any other day I wouldn’t have been so upset.

Nat’s expression immediately formed into sorrow and regret. “Shit, it’s today, isn’t it-? (Y/N)!”

My vision grew clouded with angry tears as I stormed off, heaving my backpack onto my shoulder.

I had stopped by the ballet/dance room to tell Nat what had happened and was now forced to walk the entire length of the school before leaving. This subjected me to inevitably pass every one of my friends.

I first passed two of my teachers, Mr. Fury and Miss Hill. I noticed the latter look at me sympathetically while Fury kept a stoic expression.

I then almost ran into Vision, who looked on confused. No one knew his real name. We just called him Vision because of his, and I quote, “insight into the vast world around us”.

I stormed past the art room, barely giving Wanda any time to realize I was there. Bruce was too caught up in his work to notice me enter and leave the lab, where Tony would be if we hadn’t had practice today.

Most of the guys were outside, in the exact direction I was leaving.

Thor was on his way to football practice. “(Y/N)!” I ignored him. “Perhaps now is not a good time…” He mumbled to himself.

Once outside, I passed T’challa and Scott Lang, who both looked confused, but decided not to pry.

Pietro was running around the track before he noticed me and ran alongside me. “(Y/N), are you-?” He was cut off by a field goal who decided to sneak up on him.

“(Y/N)!” I heard three voices call me. They had to be Bucky, Steve, and Sam. I was just as fast as them if I pushed myself, so I burst into a full-on sprint.

I ignored Clint’s protest, then worry and confusion when he almost shot me with an arrow as I ran in front of his targets.

I finally reached the school’s front gate and, instead of opening it like a normal person, hopped over it with little effort. Sam couldn’t jump the gate, so he would probably stop there while Buck and Steve continued. I continued my mad dash into the city and started to cross the street. Unfortunately, idiots weren’t rare on the roads.

I stood like a deer in headlights as a black truck sped toward me. I thought for sure it was over until I was knocked to the side and the air from my lungs escaped me entirely. I felt myself land hard on the concrete. My ears rang and my head throbbed, but I managed to stand. Steve was rubbing his temples, kneeling near the ground where I had just been. I saw him and immediately began to run again. They couldn’t help me.

I kept running as the noises and pain overwhelmed me. My ears rang, my head throbbed, and my entire right side cried out in pain. The engines and honking of the cars, the roar of voice, and basic sounds of the city contained my mind.

I needed quiet. I need to think and I needed to breathe. I needed my mother.

He found me under the cherry tree by the lake about 5 miles from the city. The plot of land belonged to my father. I hadn’t seen him for years and I didn’t care to either. I had always been afraid that he would come back to find me and haunt me. The last time he had been in the city was to bury my mother under the same cherry tree I sat below, 8 years ago to the day.

Since then, I had been living in Bucky’s apartment. As long as he could remember, it had just been him. He had always survived on his own. My mother and I were some of the few people to help him along and Bucky felt it was his duty to return the favor.

He approached silently and sat down next to me, criss-cross style. The only noise I heard from him was a quiet sigh as we gazed silently at the dead roses that drooped near the cherry tree’s trunk. They were the only marker of my mother’s existence besides myself and a couple old pictures. I had never changed out the roses. To be honest, it was a miracle they hadn’t blown away yet.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Bucky put his hand on my knee calmly, which I could tell meant that he was there for me and he wanted to help. I gave in and hugged him, sniffling.

“She’s just being careful, you know?” He sighed, “She’s just trying to take care of you.”

I grunted.

“Yeah, she could be more supportive, I agree, but you can’t blame her too much for taking care of you.”

I sighed, exasperated.

“She couldn’t have known it was today.”

I was silent.

“I know you’re sorry, (Y/N), but she doesn’t. Can you apologize to her? Please? That’s all I’m asking.”

I whined a little, mumbling something.

Bucky laughed, “Fine, home first. Nat second.”

I smiled a little and he stood. Bucky always understood what I was trying to say, even if it wasn’t with words. He reached for my hand to help me up and I gladly took it.

“C’mon, (Y/N). Let’s go home.”

“Bucky?” I mumbled, turning from my side of the bed to face him.

“Hm?” He murmured, eyes still closed and ignoring me from his side of the bed. Yes, we shared a bed. No, it was not romantic. It was completely platonic and friendly. As orphans, and two teens who couldn’t land great jobs because of our age, we didn’t have a lot of money for anything other than necessities.

We were working on getting two separate beds, but things had been slow since Bucky lost his job at Baskin Robbins when it closed down. I hadn’t held a job for months thanks to Bucky’s insisting he could handle the bills by himself, which was utterly ridiculous. So, I planned on putting out a job application to a couple places soon.

“Is Tony a jerk?” I asked, nervous about our ‘date’ the next day.

Bucky opened one eye, sighing. “(Y/N), do you think he’s a jerk?”

“No..?”

“Does he make you happy?”

“B-Buck!” I got a little embarrassed talking about it.

He rolled his now open eyes, “I’m not asking much, (Y/N), just that. Does he make you happy?”

“I-I guess so..I haven’t had enough interaction with him to tell, I think.” I answered slowly, trying to decipher my feelings.

“That’s all that matters,” Bucky said simply before sighing and closing his eyes again. “Now I want to sleep, (Y/N), so leave me alone.”

I scoffed, “You are such a grouch, Bucky.”

He grunted like an old man, “Yeah, you meddling kid, now get off my property!”

I burst into giggles and closed my eyes, too. “‘Night, Buck.”

“Sleep tight, (Y/N).”

“Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” I teased.

“That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’m not eight.”

“Aww, dang it.”

So Tony and I went on our date and had an amazing time- beyond amazing. We went out a couple times after that, thus becoming what we teens like to call ‘a thing’. At least I think that’s what we’re calling it still? I dunno, it changes all the time. I guess you could say he was my bae if you really want to call your significant other crap in Danish.

Natasha tried to convince me that he was an asshole, constantly piling recordings and quotes onto my desk at school. Bucky, however much he despised Tony Stark, was respectful and gave me my own space.

“How can you just sit while she gets hurt?!” Nat yelled at him furiously.

Bucky put a hand on her shoulder to stop her pacing and freaking out, “Nat, chill. He hasn’t hurt her yet.”

“Yet!” Nat exclaimed, “But we both know he will, James Buchanan Barnes!”

He rolled his eyes, “She’s capable of taking care of herself, Nat. If things get bad, she’ll get herself out. As friends, we’ll get her out of trouble when she needs it, but it isn’t our place to tell her who she should and shouldn’t date. Besides, we shouldn’t assume he’s going to hurt her just because he’s... imperfect. No one is perfect, you know.”

Nat scoffed, “You really want to bring him down, don’t you.”

Bucky glanced around the room as if looking for someone, then sighed. “Fine, yes.”

Nat smiled devilishly, “Got a plan, lover boy?”

“L-Lover boy?” He stammered, “Where did that come from?”

“I think you know.” She said, before clearing her throat. “Anyway, plan?”

Bucky sighed, “Just gather all the evidence you’ve got and wait awhile until he...makes a dumb move. Then I’ll tell you what to do.”

“So in other words, wait ‘til she catches him making out with some other girl?”

Note:

I’m not sure when I’ll post Part 2, probably the next time I get a Thursday post. If everything turns out right, that should be not next week, but the week after. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Part 2 is here!!

Requests are always open!

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