#me franticly: I need everyone to know how fucking scared I was for a sec

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

By Your Side

Pairing: Alfonse x reader

Prompt: The summoner has a lot of anxiety :(

Description: When you found out there were small attacks all around Askr, you agreed it would be a good idea to stay behind at the castle to dispatch heroes to help defend the people. But when you find out that Alfonse has gone out alone to draw the enemy attack, you can't help but find yourself worrying about him.

Content Warning: None

Word Count: 1515

Notes: I finally got around to catching up in the story in feh, and when I played 8/3 I kinda lost my mind. Alfonse why would you go alone TAKE ME WITH YOU also this is not edited its...nearly 5 am. Happy cyl Alfonse!!

You couldn’t help but pace in worry at the castle. You should have known he would do something like this-- you should have insisted on going with him, or having a small unit follow him as he went off. Something, anything to ease your anxiety.

“Did he think I wouldn’t figure it out?” Between the look of guilt on Ratatoskr’s face and the serious one on his, there wasn’t much they could hide from you. More so because he asked you to stay here. You weren’t even able to join the small squad that went after his smoke signal, too nervous and jittery to join some of the heroes as they went with Anna, Sharena, and Ratatoskr to assist Alfonse. You were instead left at the castle, where the sheer amount of heroes around could assure your safety. You just wish he would have told you.

Now, all you could do was worry, anxiously watching the doors and waiting for your party to return home. Your lucky then, that not a moment later than a frown gracing your face do the doors open and welcome the party home. You rush to them, some quick words shared with commander Anna about the situation before you push past to Alfonse, taking in how he was a little worse for ware. You should have known to send a healer with them-- but that wasn’t what was important now.

“Alfonse…” You frown and take him in, seeing how troubled his features were. “You’re hurt.” You don’t know what else to say in the moment, gentle hand tracing the thin cuts along his face.

“Not too bad. Your reinforcements arrived just in time.” He smiles, soft and gentle at you. The same one that’s caused your heartbeat to pick up again and again.

“Still, come with me. Let’s get them taken care of.” It’s an obvious ploy to get him alone, that anyone could see but no one argues as you lead him away from the main entrance by hand. When the two of you are out of earshot, he speaks.

“I’m sorry to have worried you.” It’s the first thing that leaves his mouth, but you don’t stop walking with him, don’t stop holding his hand. You don’t even turn his way, least he see the emotion that’s surely taken over your features.

“I just…” You sigh, all too soon the two of you are outside the door to your chambers. “Please, come in.” You open the door and gesture for him to enter. Alfonse, the softest of frowns on his face, obliges, keeping his eyes on you even as he takes a familiar seat in your casual area. You follow in after him, closing the door and turning to him.

“I’ve been here how long, by your side, and you don’t think to tell me?” You didn’t mean to sound so accusatory, but the words seemed to have a mind of your own as the worry you once felt melts into hurt. “I know we didn’t have much time, but together we could have… could have thought of something better. Together.” You offer weakly, too pent up to sit and instead tugging at the sleeves of your cloak in attempt to stave off the excess energy you felt.

“_____…” It softens you, the way your name leaves him so gently. Even then, there’s a certain resolution to him as he speaks. “I… won’t say you’re wrong. But I would do it again.” He closes his eyes, something he tends to do when he felt serious enough. “We’re so close to peace, and I can’t let anything threaten it… knowing I was the enemies target, I had to act.”

“...Don’t you know peace will mean very little to Askr, if they lose their prince to get it?” Alfonse’s eyes seem to widen as I say the words, but I continue. “I, certainly, wouldn’t know what to do in a world where you weren’t by my side.” I sigh heavily, suddenly feeling very weary. I take a seat next to him on the love seat.

“...I know this. But I would still give my life to protect that peace, any time it was threatened. It it what a prince owes to his people.” He clutches the fabric of his pants tightly, something clearly still bothering him.

“Then you owe it to me, your tactician, to warn me when you go off defending that peace.” You reach for his hand again. In seeing this, Alfonse stops clutching at his pants and instead holds your hand in turn. “All I ask is that you try to refrain from doing something like this in the future.” Your eyes meet as you speak and suddenly you can feel warmth filling your cheeks.

“I’ll do my best.” Despite the heavy conversation, Alfonse manages a smile for you. He squeezes you hand gently as well, and you smile back.

“...I was really scared, when I heard word you were setting out alone.” I close my eyes, sitting back against the back of the couch. “For the first time in a long time, I felt kind of powerless. What could I do if I wasn’t by your side? If I wasn’t there to guide you and protect you.”

“I understand.” You can tell he’s choosing his words carefully. Was his heart beating as fast as yours? “There have been times in the past I failed to protect you, where I let the enemy get their hands on you…”

You think back to your time with Kvasir and Gulvieg. You were ultimately safe, and in fact treated rather well by both of them but the entire time, your allies were worried about you. You recall very clearly the relief on Alfonse’s face when you were reunited… And how happy you were to be with him again, too.

“But I always found you again. I was always the one fighting to get you back. I… never let anyone take that responsibility from me.” He admits freely, voice still sounding so clear. “When you’re not by my side, I also worry. I often don’t feel quite myself.” While this was something Alfonse had admitted before, it felt different all the sudden. “I need to protect this peace so I can experience it with you by my side, _____.” He smiles, shy and charming as he looks your way.

He’s not the same person you met when you were first summoned her. He’s grown, matured even more into his role as prince. You love him all the same, though. You’ve loved him this entire time. It gets caught in your throat every time though. You don’t want to ruin this. But you can’t imagine a life without him, either.

“I want to protect it with you. Always.” You hope that will suffice, with the way you squeeze his hand and emotion warbles in your tone. Even then, you want to tell him. There have been so many moments with him-- ones that have surely been more happy, more right. But you had never loved him more than you did in this moment, when the threat of losing him was suddenly so real.

You let the silence blossom between the two of you as your try to find your courage. As you clench and unclench his hand, take deep breaths and let them fall from your nose. As you close your eyes and sneak glances at him (noticing, with a flush, that he’s unabashedly studying you with a smile on his face).

“Alfonse?” You speak his name and look his way, even though you know you’ve already got his attention.

“Yes?” He hums softly in return. You swallow hard on the words that so many times have begged to leave your lips.

“I love you. I love you so much, I…” You stutter as you struggle to find the right words.

“I love you too.” He says it as if he has a million times. Maybe he has. “And I know how you feel,” He holds a sad smile, as he turns to you and cups your cheek with his free hand. “All I can say is that I’m here now. And I’m safe.”

“Don’t be so dumb again.” You close your eyes as you feel yourself begin to cry. Was it relief? Sadness? “Please?”

“Only if you promise the same.” He laughs softly, wiping your tears away. “You know… I never knew it would be so easy.” He confesses. “I had wanted to tell you for so long but…” There’s color to his cheeks, but fondness to his tone.

“I was just… thinking about how you could be gone, without me ever telling you, and I…” You shake your head. “It became more urgent, I suppose.” I laugh softly as well.

“Imagine how I felt.” He laughs as well, but it does cause you to pause and consider how he’s acted in the wake of your return from enemy encounters.

“Let’s promise to take better care of each other then.” You smile, moving in to press your forehead against his.

“Deal.”