#me flirting: so um tumblr dot com?

[schizononagesimus]

i have my first real monogamous date in years (saturday!!) with a mad handsome butch and we're super clicking, and this was ummm maybe like 30 mins into texting. I should be shot

[galedekkarios]

mx galedekkarios dot tumblr dot com may i please have some gale and/or bloodweave hcs from your big beautiful mind 👉👈 (or honestly just any longform post of bg thoughts at all bc ur tags keep inflicting me w gory stickmen disease and wanting to read more ;;)

oh anon whadda hell.. u flatter me. 🫶 i unplugged my brain real quick and gave it a shake and this is all what fell out (some are mature):

in a modern au, gale's second favorite cuisine (after greek ofc) is east asian! he loves to both eat it and cook it from scratch. chinese, korean, japanese, etc. he's even good at other asian cuisines like thai and vietnamese. he's gotten very familiar with a lot of recipes and actively tries to learn more. when he doesn't feel like cooking that night, he opts for takeout. he's been a loyal customer of a handful of restaurants for so long that they already know his tastes too.

the only reason why gale's students don't try to flirt with him is because he's too much of a "my wife" guy. he's always wearing his ring, always talking about his partner, and has portraits of them in his office and everything. there's just no way you don't know that he's happily taken. you could be talking about the most random thing ever and he'd be like "omg! this reminds me of how my partner blahblahblah—" and everyone else is just like 😐 because he's already told this story five times before. not even tara is safe from this (and she was probably present for whatever story it is this time, too!). [this is assuming his students are older / uni prof]

i think gale would be the type of person to have a very Intense gaze without meaning to. the kind where you can feel it whenever he's looking at you. or when he's gazing at you lovingly, or even just looking you in the eye as you speak, it's almost too much. it's just so earnest, so sincere, so... intent on witnessing you and really paying attention, that it's like. whoa man. whoaaaaaaa now let's fucking chill before i blink and realize i've fallen in love with you alright 😳 (and, of course, this Greatly unsettles astarion in the beginning bc he's someone that can't afford to be seen.)

i know in my heart that mr "mine was a popular hand at the annual blackstaff's ball" + bagged a goddess + with the way i talk you can't be surprised i'm a generous munch + wyll, is it true that ppl think wizards don't fuck? :( bc i assure you we absolutely do!!!!! + mystra had pleasure domes dekarios was a hot girl once and his pussy still does pop severely. he's just in his depression era rn 💔

wyll calls gale elegant, minthara calls him dashing, shadowheart says he smells like a wealthy dowager, lae'zel assumes correctly that he had many tutors in his youth, and gale frequenting the temple of beauty in waterdeep all make me feel like gale x astarion are very the lady and the tramp coded. after they get married, they're old money x new money.

gale is always eager to teach astarion new spells, but astarion only gets excited about the ones that either help him be a better scoundrel and/or that spice up their sex life. which like. is still a win for them both either way

um. throat goat. that's it that's the headcanon sorry except it's also not really a hc bc he alludes to this but it's important to me tht we repeat it. but also maybe it shocks astarion the first time he's on the receiving end of it like boy WHAT!!!! you didn't tell me you was a freak like that!!! literally that damn shawty ok meme. gale gives him such wet sloppy glizzy gluck that it makes astarion feel like he has to wipe his ass afterward smh

neither of them want to get anywhere near bugs, but in any au gale would be the type to take it outside and astarion would just kill it using one of gale's 39304308309 books laying around

gale struggles to catch sarcasm and astarion loves to rile him up and take the piss out of him for it. lovingly ofc. whenever gale does understand astarion's sarcastic comments, he feels very proud of himself.

astarion sometimes drops things on purpose just to watch gale bend over. sorry (i'm the one that's sorry, not him btw)

[mysteriouswolf]

Hi mysterious

You tagged me in a thing and i believe in the power of me and so now im going to answer all of the questions

1. [Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?] Pandora’s BOX— I use Spotify.

2. [is your room messy or clean?] Messy af, there are so many clothes on the floor and also I need to vacuum since I am literally allergic to dust—

3. [what color are your eyes?] Ooh. Um. Well. There’s actually lore. When I was younger, I told everyone that my eyes were green and they all told me that I was wrong because my eyes looked brown and then I asked my mom and she was like “they’re hazel” and so for a while I believed that they were hazel and then in middle school or late elementary school I just fucking gave up on it and then they were just whole ass brown. BUT ALSO OKAY IM PISSED AT THIS. YOU KNOW PUNNETT SQUARES RIGHT. THEYRE LIES. THEYRE FUCKING LIES. Both of my parents have light green eyes, and mine are literally brown. So for a while, I genuinely semi-convinced myself that I was adopted because the fucking punnett squares lied because there’s no way you get a dominant trait from two recessives. Anyways I have the green life hoodie and when I wore it (its so comfy I would still wear it all the time but it is about a zillion degrees out and I like to sweat significantly less also my school doesn’t have AC which is genuinely criminal. i’m so pissed about it because it’s like literally torture) the green in my eyes was more visible so my eyes were def more hazel then but my clothes palete normally consists of black so they normally look brown. Doesn’t help that my eyes and my hair are normally the exact same color.

4. [do you like your name? why?] like birth name? no. it hasn’t fit me in so long. and when i tried to convince myself i wasn’t genderqueer I reminded myself of when I was in third grade there was this girl in my church choir and I would look in the mirror and wish i had her name because I did not look like my name. like. My name is nice. I wish all the cis girls and trans girls and anyone with that name the best and I hope it suits them. It’s a great name. Just not for me.

current name i go by? it’s okay. It’s my initials, and it works really well as a placeholder and I don’t get dysphoria from it like I do my birth name.

current name I’m interested in? I rly like it. it has some cool lore and thought behind it, and i’m interested in trying it out soon.

internet name? LOVE IT 10/10 I ADORE BEING CALLED ROYAL and just. it’s so nice. also i could go by it irl but i don’t want to? like. i do want that divide between irl and internet. also Royal has some lore connected to it and i’m a huge fan of my whole username because it’s a play on the phrase “morally gray” so i love it

5. [what is your relationship status?] uhhh single, ig. also not ready to mingle. well actually i have a um. is a situationship what you call it? But like we were actually dating, and then we kind of didn’t interact for a while (we both got busy with lives, yknow) but essentially now we’re friends with flirting benefits. she’s the one person i feel rly comfortable making innuendos around and shit and it’s kind of refreshing to have that weird relationship with one person.

Also this is rly long so i’m not doing all of these in one go but Mysterious. You. YOU THAT ONE RIGHT THERE OFFICER—

(i dropkicked that child in self defense)

Mysterious, beloved companion and mutual of tumblr dot com, I shall also ask thee the above questions.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, Pandora, or some other music streaming service?

2. is your room messy or clean?

3. what color are your eyes, if you’re amicable

4. do you like your name? why?

5. what is your relationship status?

OKAY HAVE A NICE— sleep? you’re asleep right now. probably. if you aren’t, go to bed. y’know what? I might take myself up on that offer.

HAH I KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE I CAN PROPERLY ADDRESS YOU

alright have a nice morning or whenever you wake up and/or whenever you check your tumblr :)

HELLO ROYAL I WILL HAVE A NICE MORNING THANK YOU I GET TO GARDEN TODAY IM SO EXCITED!!!

1- Music streaming service? I use Amazon Music cause that's what my parents have a subscription to-

2- Room status? Uhhh it's kinda in the middle. Actually that's a lie, right now it's really messy because I decided I wanted to make a cardboard dagger before I went to my friend's house so I have little bits of cardboard and hot glue sticks all over the place. But usually I like to keep it clean-ish because my room is pretty smol and it stresses me out if it gets too messy- except my desk. That is always a hellhole.

ALSO ROYAL!! ONE THING THAT HELPS A LOT GET A HAMPER AND JUST PUT IT IN YOUR ROOM. DESIGNATE A SPOT WHERE DIRTY CLOTHES GO.

3- What color are your eyes? They're blue. Sometimes they look more green, but they're kinda like a dark muted blue. Not bright. My eyes are pretty dark. LIKE MY SOUL--

Also Royal you have green eyes. Doesnt matter I have never seen your eyes. You have green eyes. In my head you have green eyes. Always have and always will lol- also I agree not having AC in school is criminal- ours doesn't either and it's just like RAHHHHHHHHHH ITS SO HOT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN MAN

4- Do you like your name? Why? Okay I can't go into this too hard because I will DOX MYSELF but there is a REASON because if I told you what my name was you would be like "oh, like ____?" And it constantly gets made fun of and I hate it. Other than that, I like my name, but just dkvkkcjvskdkkw.

Now if I ever changed my name, it would be Raven Nightshade because I think that sounds badass as FUCK but that probably won't happen.

Internet name? YES. I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH ITS ACTUALLY SO AMAZING I LOVE BEING CALLED LITERALLY ANY VERSION OF MY NAME ONLINE. I think I just answered your ask about my name, SO YES ANY OF THOSE I LOVE SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

5- Relationship status? Also single and WOULD LIKE TO STAY THAT WAY PLEASE.

shit I don't know your time zone how am I supposed to wish you somethinggggg-- assuming you actually did go to bed when you wrote this I hope you have a good morning/whenever you wake up :3