#me and my spouse's favorite queer characters

[when-the-spagheddie-hits-the-fan]

Drawn by Spouse, heart candy by me (Our favorite queer couples)

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[spacecadet-sims]

Casting Call for @spacecadet-sims' Double Shot At Love: Beguiling the Heirs

Atticus and Imogen Gryswald are world-renown philanthropists who, up until now, have spent their time leading fast-paced, free-wheeling lives without too much of a care for finding steadiness and security (outside of monetarily).

The elder Grywalds have had enough of the near-scandal filled escapades of their darling twins, however, and have offered them an ultimatum: find spouses or be disinherited.

But where's the fun in doing anything traditionally?

Full application below the cut:

I'm looking for 14 sims to fill this double shot at love challenge; 7 for Atticus and 7 for Imogen. This will be mostly story-based with some gameplay sprinkled throughout.

Please tag me @spacecadet-sims in the post as well as hashtag #scbth application for consideration. If I do not reblog your post within a day, please message me as I may not have seen your submission.

Applications may be submitted from now until July 8th at 11:59 pm. I'm making the application process long because I work a full-time job, and mother a toddler in most of my downtime. I have some time off work over the holiday, so I'd like to gather my submissions during that time. :)

Any gender/sexuality for either. They’re both queer.

Please include the following bio with your submission:

Name: Age: Gender: Pronouns: Sexuality: Occupation: Likes: Dislikes: Favorites (music, food, etc): Traits: Aspiration: Family/Important Friends/Pets?: Short Bio: Anything other misc. information?:

Please have your characters dressed in the following: 2 casual outfits 2 formal outfits 2 party outfits at least 1 of each other outfit type

I may require additional information if I select your submission for when I'm compiling my reference page, and thereafter the story as it unfolds. :)

Quick FAQs from my last attempt at this challenge:

Can we submit more than one sim? Yes. There's not a guarantee that both will be chosen, but please feel free to submit two unrelated sims, friends, siblings, exes, etc.

Do entries need to be wealthy? No! Potential admirers can be from any socioeconomic background. The Gryswalds do not worry for wealth, and would take care of a spouse who does.

Will this be scripted? Partially! I will be taking some liberties with conversations, personalities or reactions to things. I’ll do my best to not make the contestants too out of character. I won’t be controlling the contestants beyond instructing them to complete a task when it’s needed or to pose them. I won’t initiate intimacy unless the heirs whims include it. If they’re prompted into intimacy by contestants, especially on dates, I’ll likely let it happen.

Will this be NSFW? It could be! I'll try not to show anything too graphic, but there could be instances of intimacy.

How will eliminations be conducted? Eliminations will be based on relationship levels within the romance and friendship bars. If there’s a tie, it’ll go to whoever is more attracted to the heirs. If attraction is also a tie, I’ll either use WheelDecide or ask the audience. I’ll likely ask the audience for other reasons as well.

Limitations on CC? I’d prefer you kept away from alpha hair and eye CC (as I have a preference), but all other CC is fine and accepted. I have all packs, except the most recent couple and Batuu.

[foozle-woesies]

Omg omg omg omg guess whose back? Back again? Dizzy's back. To spam his friend. Okay but like deadass I want to know your most significant angst Hcs. Literally any characters just what have you really thought about with who cause I know I've got a list of them for pretty much every character so I wanna know ur favs. Give me yummy angst I'm hungry.

🍓Genshin Favs Angst Headcanons🍓

Wooooo!!! You have submitted a GOOD ask buddy. This post will include:

Kaeya Alberich

Diluc Ragnvindr

Il Dottore

Tartaglia

I have more favorites than this, but these are the guys I’m always thinking about.

Warnings: familial death, depression, alcoholism, descriptions of s/h, mentions of internalized homophobia and transphobia, and general violence.

❄️Kaeya Alberich❄️

This isn’t even a headcanon, I’m pretty sure it’s very heavily said in the game- Kaeya’s an alcoholic. And that suave personality of his? I really think it’s just a front.

I see Kaeya has having some serious battles with depression. It takes quite a lot of energy to uphold that smooth façade, leaving him feeling unable to do anything but drink and sleep.

I think Kaeya has a horrible time even just getting up in the morning. Like, it physically hurts him to think about. In the mornings he’ll feel such hopelessness and dread that, again, it just hurts.

I think Kaeya is also deeply hurt by how cold he and Diluc are to each other. Diluc is too, of course, but more on that later. He feels abandoned by Crepus, even though he’s aware that it wasn’t his father’s fault he died.

I also think Kaeya was envious of Diluc and Crepus, even if his father loved the boys the same. Crepus was Diluc’s biological dad- something Kaeya also wanted to have.

Not as angsty as everything else, but Kaeya’s always cold because of his cryo vision :(

Another small one- Kaeya has really textured hair imo. But due to his lack of self care, his hair gets matted often. He’s already tender headed, so combing through it hurts bad. He can hardly bring himself to care for it by the time it’s so matted. Not just because of the pain in his scalp, but because of the pure and utter shame it brings. He couldn’t even gather the strength to do something as basic as brush his hair- how weak could he possibly be?

This is a lot more specific to my au but I’ll try and keep it generally related to the actual game. Kaeya knows both his brother and his spouse are trans and is fully supportive. He supports any queer person in Mondstadt. When it came to realizing he himself was gay, though, it was a bloody internal battle. I’m glad to say he was able to accept himself quickly and live happily with his husband <3.

🔥Diluc Ragnvindr🔥

I think, as the Darknight Hero, Diluc’s an extremely reckless fighter. He’s covered in scars from fatui and abyss mage attacks, but also burns. His hands specifically are burnt to the point of nerve damage in his hands.

He hides these burns with his gloves. This is also why he leaves bartending to his employees- it’s hard to not drop the glasses and spill the drinks due to the damage.

He doesn’t ever pay much mind to his injuries and hardly goes to the hospital when he should. He prioritizes his mission as the Darknight Hero over his own safety. Perhaps he just wants to carve a meaning into his life, feeling as though he lacks one.

Diluc is not one who is good at handling complicated feelings. Quite honestly, Crepus’s death hasn’t exactly registered to him. Obviously he knows it’s happened, and he grieved, but… he just pushes it so far down. He’s easily irritated by the topic of Crepus.

This irritation becomes evident whenever Kaeya tries to talk about their father, even though it’s always in a fond manner. In general, discussions between the brothers end in screaming and shouting.

Diluc doesn’t hate Kaeya, though, it’s quite the opposite. Diluc frets a lot over his little brother. His lack of emotional tact, and Kaeya’s unwillingness to open up, just keeps driving the brothers farther apart.

Diluc is trans. Of course this isn’t an angsty headcanon within itself! Rather, I want to talk about the things that can come with it. I like to think Mondstadt is generally a very accepting nation (I choose to think all of teyvat is, really). But once in a while, a drunkard in the bar will make a nasty comment towards this fact. He acts as if these comments mean nothing but it bothers him deeply.

Actually, Diluc feels insecure about being a “real man” quite often. It’s a pretty persistent bother. I’m glad to say though, at the end of the day, Diluc is proud and confident of who he is :3

🧪Il Dottore🧪

Dottore’s backstory isn’t really in the game atp (except for Zandik’s legacy, except it’s not even canonically stated to be Dottore so who really knows at the end of the day?? I def think it’s him tho), but I have my own theories. I feel like Dottore definitely had a horrible childhood. Was he probably kicked out of his village for a good reason? Yea. But still. I can’t help but imagine he had no one to care for him, therefor harboring his bad tendencies.

By the time he got to the Akademiya, I think he was also bullied pretty badly. This worsened his hatred towards people and made him even more of a shut-in.

Dottore is just tired all the time and I mean TIRED. It’s a miracle he’s even functioning.

I don’t have much for Dottore atm… sorry!

🫧Tartaglia🫧

Tartaglia is really struggling while in the fatui. Sometimes, he’s really zoned out. He’s good at keeping up that charming and energetic front for jobs, sure, but if you know him personally or just see him around Zapolyarny palace, he’ll seem like a totally different person. He seems to be… remembering the things he’s seen and done.

Sometimes, he’s totally angry and freaking out. He has a hard time controlling his emotions, all of which seem to appear as anger. This always ends with him breaking something, hurting someone, or even hurting himself. These tantrums are triggered by even the smallest things. I really think he has a ton of resentment, despair, and fear bubbling underneath the surface, resulting in seemingly random breakdowns.

I don’t think Tartaglia really enjoys the fatui. When he crawled out of the abyss, he was a scared, vulnerable young boy. I don’t think he could process what he experienced at the time- I don’t think he can nowadays, either- and I think the fatui used this to their advantage. To try and make him better harbinger material, they stunted his recovery by saying what he went through wasn’t that bad, it was just something that strengthened him. They brushed off any possible mental degradation as him just “being weak” and “needing to be stronger”. He doesn’t realize any of this.

I think that contributes to his need to train more and grow stronger. His over-exertion with battling, and focus on physical pain is a way for him to ignore the mental anguish he’s truly in.

Beyond losing the light in his eyes, I think Tartaglia’s entire face changed. Obviously he grew up, and that changes people’s face, but I mean in a different way. His cheeks are sunken in, his eyes even more so. Around his eyes and the tip of his nose were constantly discolored and red. His lips were chapped and bloody. He seemed tired, even with that fun mask he put on. Honestly he lacks a lot of self care. He wants to focus on his strength rather than such “small matters”. He honestly looks… pretty fucking terrifying, even inhuman when he’s violent. It’s sort of the way a shell-shocked soldier will look different when he returns from war.

About him ending up hurting himself. I think he’ll just grab at any part of himself and scratch and squeeze, resulting in jagged cuts and bruises. He has to take his anger out on something physical. If his anger is directed at another person, when he was a younger man, he’d just hurt them. As he grew, he just broke things around him instead, screaming and shouting all the while. He regrets this every time it happens. He doesn’t know why he lacks control.

All in all, Tartaglia is a deeply troubled individual who’s been manipulated into believing he is fine. He’s been lied to and told his job is a great thing for the world. Maybe one day, he’ll snap out of it and realizes he needs to leave.

[queer-ragnelle]

I read for spoilers for The Bright Sword, it sounded self indulgent -- The Lady of the Lake is the girlfriend of unprepossessing OC, fix-it for King Arthur but also colonialism is bad... am I picking up the right vibes or should I just read it and form my own view? 😂

Hi anon! I'm going to put my longer answer under a cut since the book is still really new and people may want to avoid spoilers. But firstly, all good stories are self indulgent. Writing for the market is dead, writing for yourself is thriving! So that never deters me from any book or movie. Please do some whacky stuff, I love it! Secondly, I encourage you to ignore bad faith spoilers that only offer criticism without any bright sides. (See what I did there?)

The Bright Sword has the kindest portrayal of Sir Palomides ever written and that means something to me!! It should mean something to anybody invested in the Arthurian literary tradition, I think, as it's been a long time coming. It’s no small thing. I really enjoyed the main cast—Bedivere, Palomides, Dinadan, Dagonet, Nimue, Morgan, Constantine, and OCs Collum and Scipio—they’re all wonderful in their own ways! They're queer, dealing with mental illness, disability, all sorts of things I've wanted from Arthurian retellings for years and haven't gotten in a satisfactory way. I bought the book for those characters and Lev Grossman delivered!

TL;DR I recommend the book! There was more done right than wrong. I shared lots of samples on tumblr and in my Arthurian Theater Server as I read along so people could make their own judgement based on the text itself, and they also liked it.

So my longer answer is—I thoroughly enjoyed the first 30/40 chapters. I couldn't put it down! I was reading at work!! After 31 it crashed and burned a little. There were still a handful of flashback chapters to "the good ol' days" between 31-40 that I also liked, but didn't care for the main post-Camlann conflict resolution, unfortunately.

However, I think I understand how Lev Grossman ended up there. In his Author's Note he stated his inspirations—Mary Stewart, Bernard Cornwell, and Nicola Griffith. And in his Reddit AMA the other day, he said it took him 10 years to write The Bright Sword. I believe all of this culminated in a bit of a disconnected story, as the ending seemed to blindside me. Let me explain.

In Bernard Cornwell’s Warlord Chronicles trilogy, Lancelot is a huge piece of shit from the start. Cornwell’s clearly an Arthur enjoyer. I don’t prefer that approach, but I respect it, and I love Cornwell’s writing. His main character, Derfel, was also plainly a huge inspiration for Grossman’s Collum. That’s a good thing! What I didn’t enjoy was The Bright Sword seeming to shift gears suddenly near the end and make Lancelot out to be a villain that didn’t feel sufficiently foreshadowed. Prior to that, he felt much more like Mary Stewart’s poet-eyed Bedwyr (a hybrid with Lancelot) or Nicola Griffith’s sweetly awkward Lancelot, only to turn around and, literally, snap. BOOM! Cornwell’s garbage-tier Lance. [Insert “He would not fucking say that!” meme here.]

Now regarding Nimue: in Stewart's series, Ninian is with Merlin and then later marries the Fisher King. In Cornwell's series, Derfel is a childhood friend of Nimue and eventually her lover. And in Griffith's book, Peretur ends up with Nimue. So Ninian/Nimue has a long tradition as a spouse/lover of other characters and I enjoyed all of those examples. In The Bright Sword, she was a badass the entire novel, fighting in the battles with intense magic, and she even got her own pov chapters. I liked Collum well enough, he's not my favorite Arthurian OC, but I definitely didn't hate him! His back story was a little eye-roll worthy and his infatuation with Nimue was meh at times, but he’s literally 17 leaving home for the first time. That tracks. It’s not a deal breaker for me by any stretch. Cursed (2020) is where the worst Lady of the Lake romance is at. Nimue/Arthur with some weird shoehorned Gawain love triangle thing? Blech. Get it away from me. It can always be worse!

As a known Arthurian OC enjoyer, I’ll go on record in defense of Collum. He’s fine and characters like him are often paired with canonical characters. I much prefer Nimue end up with someone her own age, whether it be Pelleas or an OC, than stay with Merlin. And The Bright Sword goes to great lengths to show that Merlin is a creep and Nimue a victim who was in the right to bind him in the cave. So this didn’t bother me that much at all.

As far as "fix-it" King Arthur and colonialism bad, not sure what you mean by that. Arthur is dead. That's literally the plot. Did you mean writing Arthur as a decent husband to Guinevere in flash backs? Lots of books and films have done that already, Lev Grossman isn't the first to write Guinevere in love with her husband and an Arthur who is on-par or even better than Lancelot. Personally I prefer when it's balanced but this isn't new or noteworthy. Now, obviously colonialism is bad. That’s the point of King Arthur—the Saxons are colonizers he expels. Not sure what point the spoilers you saw were trying to make there. But it’s irrelevant since The Bright Sword doesn't touch on colonialism very much. Palomides travels west from Baghdad after hearing outlandish stories about Camelot but none of his friends have ever encountered westerners before and they have wildly inaccurate ideas. So Palomides wants to go there and write a book about it (which he does). There’s no talk of the west reaching east from his perspective, and the Saxons are moot, as the focus is a land in want of a king after Arthur’s death, not expelling the Saxon invaders. Could the spoilers have meant monarchy? I don't think anyone is reading Arthurian Legend, which is strictly fantasy, to dismantle the monarchy (or the crimes committed by real life monarchies, such as colonialism). Fantasy, and by extension Arthurian Mythology, is not true to life in any stretch. So that feels like an unfair criticism to make of the genre, even when it takes historical inspiration.

But anyway yes I think you should read the book for yourself! I always advise reading a book before passing judgement. Sometimes a trusted friend will read a book and tell you, knowing best what you like, that it’s not for you. That’s all well and good. But I generally don’t trust the internet’s opinions at large. Much better to feel it out on your own time. I’d love to hear from you again once you’ve read it! Let me know! Have a great rest of your weekend. :^)

[escrivoir]

for the "send me a fic" thing - All The Strangest Things Keep Happening pleesumthankyou

Oh man, this one is such a labor of love with @reallylilyreally ! So some of my answers might be the same as hers, fair warning. Thank you for the ask!!!

My favorite scene

Of the ones I wrote:

I think it's either the scene right before everything starts to unravel (the "weekend with my girl in town" bit up to when Dick walks in on them)

OR

Dick trying to find meaning in Paris halfway through the war. He's having such a hard time reconciling who he is with who he thinks he should be, and he can't find anywhere in Paris where he can speak to God about it. AND he punches a homophobe!

Of scenes I didn't write: So SO many. Probably anything Tab POV that involves Joe Liebgott. He ended up being and unsung hero of the story. That's all @reallylilyreally.

My favorite chapter (if it's a multichapter)

That I wrote... Either the final chapter, or the telegram fiasco chapter. The final chapter wraps up so much in a nice ending, and the telegram chapter involves SO MUCH. Confessions! Humor! Angst! All of that.

Hardest scene to write

Bastogne in general was a slog. It was especially hard to write the part where Nix figures out Dick's feelings about Tab because Dick is so taciturn in general and finding a way to let him express that anger at himself was difficult to write but satisfying when I got done.

Favorite character to write in the fic

Nix. He was my POV character, and I love writing him forever. He's clever, overeducated, has family drama and can't always accept the gifts that his upbringing gives him (although he'll take advantage of them when it indulges his vices).

And Colonel Dobie. Bless.

Favorite dynamic to write in the fic

One of the things that Lily and I always talk about is how the love story in our OT3 works ends up so often being the love story between Nixon and Tab. We already know how Nix and Tab feel about Dick, and vice versa. The fulcrum of the OT3 is the BunNix relationship because they have to grow into it. So - the BunNix dynamic.

Why I chose that title

We tossed out so many albums - having decided to do titles based on song lyrics, we really wanted some that packed a punch. Gang of Youths (HIGHLY recommended) fit the bill, and that song ("go further in lightness") really sets the tone. We wanted an AU/OT3 setting that had hope in it despite the darkness of war - for any queer relationships, for the future, all of that. And "all the strangest things keep happening" just seems like the perfect way to encapsulate how all three of them feel as things develop.

A fun fact about the fic

Other than the fact that we originally said, "oh, I think it's a 50-70k work"?

My spouse now pitches me fic names for paratrooper smut that are frankly horrifying. They're absurdly supportive of all of my writing endeavors, but @reallylilyreally can attest that the ideas provided are meant more as a ploy to make me smack them. It sometimes works.

Thanks again!

[kimyoonmiauthor]

A few gender things...

In light of people being A-holes over the Olympics and particularly mixing transphobia, racism (mostly anti-Black, but also anti-Asian), sexism, I thought I would do a list of a few things to ponder while people are being a-holes about it.

When I was in Middle school, we had intramural sports—soccer, baseball, dodgeball.

Some of the girls were legit much better than the boys.

That author who shall not be named has an intramural sport called quidditch. (which, BTW, is pretty much stolen from 2 games, both of which originated in China... which is kinda mind numbing considering that character...)

If she believed that boys were stronger than girls, then why, why is Quidditch intramural all the way up through adulthood? The positions also are interchangeable between the sexes. It's also a contact sport.

Back when I thought I was cis and dating a cis guy ('cause queer denial and not enough information on the internet)

He insisted, since he's the guy that he would build the bookshelf for me, which I didn't really need him to do, but he was one of those "guy role" assholes or whatever. And he really, really struggled with building the bookshelf. It was one of those kits you buy. Like Ikea, Sauder, etc. (but not from scratch). He could not figure it out.

I looked at it, being a child of an engineer and figured it out without swearing pretty quickly.

Likewise when he needed help refinishing a table, I knew how to do it and he didn't.

Why? I had the life experience by that point and had tinkered with wood quite a few times. I'd made a doll out of wood (to be fair, a pillar), I'd made a birdhouse from a kit. My Dad had shown me how to use a saw. My uncle let me use his tools in his garage.

But this ex was so held up with the idea of "weak women don't build things" that he thought I couldn't do it. But he insisted and I wasn't going to argue with him because he was kinda an asshole.

Gender ideology is kinda dumb when you're that strict.

This ex also believed in pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, which he knew pissed me off.

Also told me that I wasn't skinny enough at 135 lbs and 5' 6". So yeah, asshole.

Let's play a round of what gender are these people from personality descriptions.

Person A

Likes Science. Is really good at math. Good at chemistry equations. Like salmon pink because they like eating salmon. Doesn't really understand emotions that well.

Person B

Like the color black and pink—those are their favorite colors. Loves nature and nature walks. Wanted to be a Park ranger. Dislikes going out too much.

Person C

Favorite color is Green. Likes drawing. Not good at cooking. Spends 2 hours preening in the mirror. Loves Shopping. Cares a lot about what other people think about them.

Person D

Tends to sleep a lot. Isn't that scared of heights. Has bungee jumped a number of times and to the point that to gain extra points in games will bungee jump more times. Has unbelievably good luck.

Person E

Scared and anxious about heights all of the time. Like even 8 feet off the ground gets to them. Nervous about everything. Has a wicked sense of humor. Wears glasses. Loves Ramyeon and will preach about the correct way to make it. A decent cook. Reports that their home chores are to wash dishes for their spouse.

I bet you guessed wrong. These things are gendered. But you can't know for sure.

As I pointed out life experience, and so on shape what they can and can't do which doesn't necessarily correspond to gender.

Olympics

The racism in the Olympics are already that Black women are "manly" and don't act "feminine" enough because literally a connection to slavery and the whole "Black people feel less pain" stereotype. https://www.aamc.org/news/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain

'cause if you're going to literally enslave a whole population of people, you need to dehumanize them by saying things like they feel less pain, all of the women are actually men (to justify that you know, white men didn't r*pe black women, though they absolutely did) and so on.

Literally trying to make them into Morlocks.

With Asians, it's the reverse. Asians were made out to be "hyper feminine" on the heels of—yes, you guessed it, institutionalized rape via treaties forced on India, China, Most of Southeast Asia, Korea and Japan. They aren't *that* kind of workforce. So you have to reframe the population psychologically in two ways: the men aren't manly enough and the Asian women are hyper white women. The white women who suddenly in the 1900's learned to fight for rights—like "how dare they" type of psychology. In doing it this way, you can argue the women that these men basically r*ped "wanted it" so they feel better about themselves.

Thus an Asian woman not acting hyper feminine is to these people "must be a man" and you know, Asian men are seen as "weak" and undesirable after years of fighting and reframing Asian men so Asian women wouldn't want them. This makes the Asian woman "less desirable" because they are "really a man."

And a quick reminder here for the white trans people who sometimes get amnesia, that author who shall not be named literally started with Black trans women. Which you keep glossing over every. single. time. Like, be intersectional and talk the racism too and invite black trans women in. I've been seeing an uptick of people who are "shocked at that author's racism from white trans faction and like—did you get amnesia, she literally started her path to hating trans people from hating PoCs and specifically Black trans women during Pride.

She was doing poorly on PoCs long before she was slipping terribly on the whole "But Dumbledore was Gay" I'm saying this: Get with it.

Anyway, the research has solidly shown that there are two factors to physical strength: socialization. If you constantly tell women what they do is weak and not worth anything, of course they aren't going to be physically strong. "Be a princess."

And the other factor is training.

Every terf out there when you point out that through training women can be stronger than men, go onto something like, "What are you talking about? We are talking about the average."

So you are saying that women can be stronger than men and can train and beat a boy at sports based on their interests...

and then watch them backpedal hard.

If you show them the stats for women who are better at marathoning than men. (Haha, apparently applies to sex too... but ace spec thoughts, I suppose on the weirdness of sex. Allos for some reason flip out when I point out how weird sex can be? And not weird in sex shaming way, but like the whole thing? Human sex in particular.) they start to flip out.

But sports in every freakin' ad says it's not just physical fitness, but mental fitness too. And then the people who want everyone to stick to white gender roles invented after the 1950's, because WTF is with some of their disciplining, somehow often think white mental acuity is higher than everyone else (you can test some white terfs on this by tip toeing towards it.) You can test them to see if they've ever left their country of origin too, because that often challenges your idea of what gender is and isn't.

Anyway, the point is, it's an intersection of these things, and often people are so entrenched into white gender ideals, they don't like being challenged.

I met someone online who was (not naming the ethnicity, not white) who blocked me because I pulled up folktales from their culture with cross dressing and trans people which were extolled in their culture as one of the top 4 folktales of all time and pointed out the shift from more fluid ideology of gender to a colonizer one and they couldn't handle it.

Similarly, I did this with someone who claimed to be from Nigeria (you can't trace this one easily). And so I pulled Nigerian tribe groups with the third gender category and asked them why are they working for the colonizers and from the name of the groups, you could tell it was native to Nigeria.

Terfs 100% work on a colonizer agenda. Don't tolerate it. And don't freakin' forget that the author hated on Black trans women to slip down the anti-trans train. Keep shouting it. Especially as a white trans person. Keep pointing out the racism. You have to recognize it's on the heels or colonializing racism a lot of these anti-trans people are working on.

Also, gender doesn't dictate much of shit besides what's "acceptable to wear" out in society which is ever shifting. I know a boy that liked purple pink and orange. Are you telling me that those colors are gendered, thus men can't eat carrots or salmon? I think people need to get off of it. Gender is the least stable bit about culture, at least to me. I mean 10 years ago, the gender thoughts of flexibility for men were different.

[boo-cool-robot]

Everything I Watched This Year

I have watched the most movies this year of my life, which is still so few that I can fit them all into one tumblr post, so here they are in approximately chronological order (along with TV shows). I almost exclusively watch visual media with other people, and they're often the ones picking. Favorites get an asterisk (*), and this does not include rewatches.

*Fallen Angels (Wong Kar-Wai): Five loosely connected lonely people chase imagined versions of each other around the Hong Kong nightscape. I didn't go into a plotless arthouse film expecting it to be extremely funny, but it is. He Zhiwu (my new tumblr icon!) deserves to be up there among the deranged autistic blorbos of all time.

What We Do in the Shadows (Showrun by Paul Simms and Stefani Robinson) [First half of S4]: If you're on tumblr you probably know the premise already. I was disappointed that after S3, which felt like a build to huge shifts in the characters and status quo, S4 felt like a walkback. Don't remember much else about it other than crying laughing at the sequence where they try to get baby Colin Robinson into private school.

Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee): Everyone knows what this movie is already. It's well-made and solid, but it wasn't anything that exciting for me. I expected it to be more striking. Love the 70s home production design in that one scene though, and that kiss truly is good.

*Velvet Goldmine (Todd Haynes): A reporter tracks down the truth of a rock star gay affair that sparked his own queer coming of age. Dreamy, gorgeous, and I could not describe the plot scene to scene if you paid me. Just a really lovely film to experience for me, someone who had latent and unnamed transgay feelings as a teenager about the concept of "emo boys kissing."

Phantom of the Paradise (Brian De Palma): Phantom of the Opera-inspired drama about a songwriter getting revenge on the predatory producer that ruined his life. Total delight of a campy melodrama.

Kamikaze Girls (Tetsuya Nakashima): A delinquent and fashion-obsessed scam artist strike up a lesbian-tinged unlikely friendship. This movie is bananas. Way more stylistically experimental than I'd expected--there's a sequence of the protagonist's birth, people just float offscreen sometimes, the townspeople constantly turn to the camera and advertise for the megamart they buy all their clothes from, etc. A really really surprisingly fun watch.

*Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Hiroshi Kobayashi and Ryō Andō) [First 6 episodes only]: Optimistic young pilot of a war machine that she may have an illegal psionic connection with goes to space high school and is promptly drawn into political plotting via accidentally getting gay engaged to a corporate heiress. Highly enjoyed the parts of it I saw - great action sequences, fun character drama, and just enough political substance. Not as weird as Utena, which it's inspired by, but can be brutal where necessary. I should watch more!

*In the Mood for Love (Wong Kar Wai): Two Shanghainese emigrants in Hong Kong discover their spouses are cheating and embark on a tragic affair of their own. God, this movie deserves every bit of praise it gets. I gasped out loud multiple times at the gorgeousness of shot compositions. Top notch acting, gorgeous colors. This tends to be a movie pitched as being about a repressed love affair, but it's also a movie about the positionality about being middle class colonial subjects and the relationships they have with the world. This gave me so much to chew on after I watched it.

Happy Together (Wong Kar-Wai): Two Hong Kong expats living in Argentina have a toxic gay relationship trapped in a tiny apartment. This one felt very opaque to me, and it is allegedly an allegory for Hong Kong being returned to Chinese rule after British colonialism, which I absolutely do not have enough background to really get. Wong is a great director though, and I constantly think about the sequence of the main character seeing the abusive ex walk into the club, beat while he finishes his drink, and then he breaks his bottle off and goes in to screams.

Bound (The Wachowskis): A lesbian handyman falls for a woman married to an abusive mobster that they plot to rob. The first 45 minutes were very enjoyable as a lesbian heist film. Unfortunately, once the gunshots started the torture scenes became so stressful for me to watch that I sweated through my shirt. (I also had Covid).

[thislittlekumquat]

7, 14, 15, 16, 30 for the book meme :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH THESE WERE SO FUN!!! And some of them were really tough. <3 <3 <3 I gave nonfiction and fiction responses for some of them!

7. ur least fav book trope?

two tropes for the price of one: body swap stories usually are not my thing, and also miscommunication tropes that aren't character studies but more like "character A overhears character B saying something out of context to character C, character A runs away and half of the plot ensues due to this one moment of miscommunication that could have been easily avoided"

14. an overrated book?

NF: 'Sapiens' by Yuval Noah Harari. everything wrong with the "reactionary centrist parading as liberalism" movement. he taps into the idea that because we've made "progress", that things are fine now, actually, and that even a lot of the bad stuff of the past was for the greater good, actually. and we will definitely keep "progressing" towards being "better" as a species without any further effort. very popular in liberal circles and it's annoying because at its core it's quite conservative.

F: 'The Night Circus' by Erin Morgenstern. interesting concept with 3/5 star execution and mid-tier prose. the ending was a cop-out, and it took a turn towards orientalism at the end. also fridged the major queer character after she revealed her queerness as part of the orientalism. lol.

15. an underrated book?

NF: Going to take this opportunity to plug a book that I've never seen anyone else talk about but that I think everyone with even a passing interest in archaeology or cultural heritage politics should read. 'Lords of Sipan' by Sidney D. Kirkpatrick is about the discovery of Moche royal tombs (in Peru) that had been untouched by grave robbers, and had to be defended upon its discovery from grave robbers. It's part action adventure part archaeological exposition. It's an immensely enjoyable read and it's a story of how an archaeological dig was mostly run by and stayed in the hands of the people who were descended from the long-dead. I saw an exhibition of some of the finds at the Met in NYC several years ago and they were stunning.

F: Johannes Cabal the Necromancer by Jonathan L. Howard (my spouse suggested this one and I agree). Should be waaaayy more popular than it actually is. If you like necromancy and sopping wet protagonists, definitely check this out.

16. the book that made u fall in love with reading?

THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A FUNNY QUESTION FOR ME. When I was 5 or 6, there were already about 8 cousins on my dad's side of the family, including me and my two brothers. My grandparents ended up with little magnets with each of our names on them, and a little illustration for our interests or personalities. They were customized; my grandparents picked the illustrations. It was mostly airplanes and baseballs for the boys and flowers for the girls. I had a book on mine. My favorite game when I was in first grade was being asked by my parents to spell complicated words, and mostly getting them right. Reading is like breathing to me, even if I manage to not find enough time to do it as an adult with bills to pay. I truly could not tell you the first book i read that made me go "wow i love this shit" because i was too young and it was way too long ago LOL. it was probably literally like dr seuss or berenstain bears or some shit.

30. give any 3 book recs to ur followers!

'The Name of the Rose' by Umberto Eco

'A Marvellous Light' by Freya Marske

'Entangled Life' by Merlin Sheldrake

ask memes here:

[a-thirst-for-dunmer]

My favorite things about all my Skyrim followers:

KAIDAN

-wicked ass armor and weapon with fucking tigers on it

-realistic cursing in life or death situations

-literally the most realistic male dialogue ever with his corny ass innuendos. ‘This monument, does it remind you of me, love? Just kidding.’

-so goated in battle. Mans can kill a dragon so easy and i don’t need to do anything but look pretty

-ACCENT.

CARYALIND

-his hair is so fluffy. I bet it smells like roses and vanilla bean, what’s your secret bb

-such a sweetheart all the time. No wonder he can’t be Thalmor, he has too much heart for it

-fucking backstory. It’s very Zuko without villain redemption arc, and the fact that he still worries about the LDB thinking worse of him for being Thalmor royalty is just *chef’s kiss*

-ACE REP. I really fucking love how he can dress like a hoe, flirt like a hoe, and look so hot but have no interest in sex. Mmm that’s my jam that’s what I like.

-boob window

-Kaidan interactions! Proving that Altmer can be kind and sweet and not lighting-shooting British assholes

INIGO

-the backstories for everyone are so damn tearjerking but this guy?? Don’t even get me started on this mans scars I will cry

-literally autism. Says everything on his mind. Sir you are me

-blue. And a cat. What else??

-Lucien and him have a bromance that hits so good

-suplexes Nazeem with only his vibes

-sings original songs, where’s his soundcloud

KHASH

-okay first off i was writing a character just like her for the daughter of my LDB and Revyn. Never knew about her but this is Leeta come to life and i crave it

-pottymouth

-Kaidan Big Bro protection dialogue

-so happy when she kills things

-literally exactly what I expected a baby Argonian to sound like. So cute. So grumpy

-her outfit is just on point. If i hadn’t transitioned i would be cottagecore peasant dress woman with cats

LUCIEN

-like Cary, he is just sweet himbo no brain

-kid in a candy shop vibes. He is amazed by the wonders of this world

-the nerdiest mans you know, would probably never shut up about shit with Auryen but i haven’t gotten that far yet

-bottom energy

-AUTISM once again

-also sings!! Can sing ‘Toss a Coin to Your Witcher’ parody!!

AURI

-she is the Moment

-eats people and only meat. Wanna see someone react to ThatVeganTeacher with her as a vtuber model oml

-bullies Lucien (affectionately)

-cool pod

-looks like she could kill you and could actually kill you

-slams ALL haters and unworthy into the ground with her dialogue. Faendal ily but you don’t deserve her

RUMARIN

-a sweetheart himbo

-very Skilled with magic, specifically bound weapons. As someone who uses conjuration as their main line of magic, because dremora and bound bow go brr, I LOVE THAT

-not really good at speaking poorly of anyone tbh

-like lucien, he’s optimistic and fun to be around

-very…earthy. Jank. Grungy. Not what you’d expect from an Altmer, to be living as an adventurer mercenary, and i like that for him

-eats in bed, brain too empty to clean for long periods of time

-polyamorous pansexual King

-says Z like zed, which makes linguistics in Skyrim lore interesting

NEBARRA

-literally me

-sarcasm to the max

-name means ‘foreigner’ or ‘scorned’ or something transgender. anyway, king nihilist shit

-only wants the good wines

-also, the Accent, very good very sass

-Shakespearean insults for days

-also regular insults

-just…insults

-mystery and striking fear into the hearts of all

TALIESIN

-i thought no one could top Revyn in vibes of what Elder Scrolls character i would kin but then ✨he✨ came along

-no idea why Altmer are Brits but with him, i can vibe with it he sounds so good

-giggles evilly in fights

-s a s s

-pansexual!! We are putting queer in the game! (Even tho all vanilla spouses are, in the most Basic sense, bisexuals)

-the spice he can add with Cary as a protector/snarky best friend. I Need their backstory

-afraid of dogs, cat person

-just an absolute bitch to the Dragonborn but like in a way my gay friends are to me

-eyeliner on fleek

HONORABLE MENTIONS FOR SKEEVER AND CROC

-silly voice go brrr

[threewaywithdelusion]

Fics Where Steve's Parents Are Interesting

I know the Stranger Things fandom has collectively decided that Steve's parents are The Worst, but I also like reading stories where they aren't or where they are, but that perspective is complicated. Here are some recs (finished and unfinished fics and please check the tags yourself):

Aftermath by help_me_no

Interesting depiction of Steve's parents, especially him mom, as an absent parent who still loves Steve and has an impact on his life.

and they were SPOUSES (oh my god they were spouses) by narceus

Chapter 4 is from the perspective of Steve's mother. Steve's parents go to dinner with him and Robin after finding out they've been married for several years. This is one of my favorite depictions of Steve's parents which doesn't make them less absent but shows their behavior from their perspective and is absolutely wonderful

I was born when they took my name by WingedQuill

Steve is Seven and his parents are scientists who stole him from the lab and protected him all these years. They're good parents who love him and who worry about his safety.

count to thirty. breathe twice. repeat. by WingedQuill

Steve's parents are still absent, but with a twist. SPOILERS. They are both queer and have partners outside Hawkins. Steve doesn't know this, because they wanted him to have a normal life and not be affected by homophobia in Hawkins.

Jackrabbit Underneath by Grey_Lark

Steve is Seven and his parents are still not great people, but they are present through his early life (which is depicted in the story) and influence what goes on later. The impact of their family dynamic on Steve is really shown. His mother suffers from strange headaches.

you carved the space for my sadness to be seen for once (hold on to me) by ohstars

Steve's mom is a central character in this fic. When Steve becomes a teen parent, she steps up and divorces his father. Steve and his mom have to navigate their estrangement as well as the mother-son relationship between them and the father-daughter relationship between Steve and his daughter

Car Hangs by maiamaryse

Steve's parents are still not great parents in this, but they appear as characters who feel real and fully-fleshed, especially Steve's father.

Verses Out of Rhythm by thankyouplease

I don't usually read or post Harringrove fics, so here's your warning that Steve and Billy have a past, toxic relationship in this one (no Billy redemption). Endgame is Steddie. Steve's parents are a distant presence until the end of the fic, but they are still nuanced characters and decent people, even if they aren't great parents.

[sunnysafezone]

sa. 25th of may

Hello my dearest stranger on the internet!

I cannot believe that while bridgerton s.3 and maxton hall premiered, I am still head over heels hooked on stardew valley and obviously the connected diversity of stardew valley fanfictions. I dug deep through Ao3 and let me tell you, I was S-H-O-O-K.

The stardew community is so unbelievable seggsual and dirty. I certainly did NOT expect that.

What surprised me the most was the amount of monster smut. Some dudes or dudettes out there really fantasize about them tentacles and slimes. I, personally, dont particularly enjoy these stories but they are rather capturing, to say the least.

But why on earth am I writing about monster smut and other stardew fanfics? The answer is simple: I am amazed how this little Valley got to be a blueprint for so many different visions and fantasies. I love how many people find peace and comfort in the idea of living an off grid, simple, slow life, just like me.

I was so inspired by many talented writers who imagined to build their dream farm or marry their favorite bachelor or bachelorette. (very cool feature!!!!)

I also wasnt aware of the fact, that queer empowerment and representations was such a big part of the community. It made me love the fan community even more. And I do think we should push Chappell Roan as a new stardew valley icon. I want a bachelorette inspired by her!!!

So naturally, after reading, listening and talking about all this awesomeness, I began to write my own little fanfiction. Let me know, dear stranger on the internet, If I should post the first few hundred words so you can experience my little parallel universe valley. Its all about my boi sebastian and i also only wrote out of his POV atm. His character introduced itself as rather dark and melancholic but I do feel like he is very wholesome.

So the last thing I want to write about is Kai Laramie. You might wonder, who on earth is Kai Laramie?

Well ... he is my new farmer.

In one of the posts beforehand, I showed you my girly Sunny. My first farm, I reached autumn of year two with her already and I choose the Woodland Farm, as many others. But even then, the Beach farm was more then flirting with me and due to the fact, that the Update 1.6 is still not available for mobile, I thought o myself: Why not try the beach farm on my phone.

And despite many critical points I already read about, I am very much in love with the beach farm layout.

Its perfect for the character I want to play in there.

So who is Kai Laramie? He is a deep sea beeing. I imagined him to be washed up on shore of the farmland and him just deciding: yep, thats mine now.

I imagine him to be super quirky, super positive and incredibly energetic. I want him to have green, untamable hair and darker or even colorful skin (like light sea foam green or a turquoise). He is supposed to be in the water all the time so he is constantly dressed in a light linen shirt and pants, rolled up to his knees. How cool would it be, If his skin even changes to scales when certain body parts are underwater.

I imagine him beeing the perfect spouse for sebastian. He would catch him completely off guard. I might even dive into another fanfiction.

This could be him.

To conclude this little entry, lets dive into my prompts:

my current read: not a book atm, but an insane amount of fanfictions

my current favorite song: BLUE - Billie Eilish (not a big fan but this one hits exactly like ocean eyes)

my motivation: where I live, summer ented the chat and I have been enjoying the sun the blooming nature. BIG thumbs up.

So, my dear stranger on the internet. My shift is over now and I wrote down everything I wanted to say today.

Thank you so much for reading!

Sunny

[nanowrimo]

4 Tips for Success and LGBTQ Community Building

Amara Lynn is a five year consecutive NaNoWriMo winner and a member of the LGBTQ community. Today, they’re going to be sharing 4 tips for success and building your writing community!

1. Have a plan.

If you’re a writer, you’ve probably heard of the phrase “panster”, and you might even be one! If you aren’t a big plotter or planner, that’s okay! You can still have a plan!

My first year, I was also a panster. What I did was make a word document full of the scenes I knew I wanted to include in the story. When I got stuck, all I had to do to was look at that file. I still had plenty of room to play and pants!

Planning doesn’t just go for writing, either! NaNoWriMo can be stressful, even without distractions and other tasks we all have to do day to day. That’s why a little planning in your personal life can go a long way!

This could be anything from catching up your house chores, doing some meal prep or planning, or stocking up on your favorite snacks and writing fuel (coffee for me!). I also take some vacation days. If that’s something you can do, it can be very helpful, and brings me into my next tip, which is…

2. Have a writing buffer.

We all know, no matter how much planning you do, something won’t go your way. One year, my waterbed burst and I had to spend all night cleaning it up!

If you have time and the words are flowing one day, keep on writing! Being ahead can only help! If you’re roped into Thanksgiving dinner prep, or things just aren’t going well for you one day, it doesn’t upend your chances of crossing that 50k mark.

3. Participate in writing sprints!

Sprinting with your friends can add a bit of friendly competition, urgency, and companionship to your writing sessions!

It can be a challenge at first, especially if you’re going for that infamous 1k words in 30 minutes! I’ve only managed that once so don’t feel bad! Remember progress is progress and all words are great! If you manage at least 500 words in 30 minutes, it’s only about one and a half hours to get your words for the day.

4. Find a community.

Finding your writing people can be hard, but it’s one of the best things you can do to help you succeed!

I’ve known about NaNoWriMo for a long time. I would try, but never made it past the first day. It wasn’t until I had a community of writing friends that I won my first NaNo.

Because I felt having a community is important, particularly for LGBTQ+ writers, I started a Twitter writing hashtag called #LGBTQWriMo! Any LGBTQ+ writer is welcome to participate by answering the questions posted each day. There are check in days, line shares, and more!

As a queer, nonbinary person writing queer books, I know how nerve wracking it can be to participate in local events; not everyone may be welcoming of the content you write. That’s why an online community specifically for LGBTQ writers can be so important! It helps to know you’re not alone.

If you're seeking to build up your writing community, I highly recommend online spaces like Twitter for doing so! The LGBTQ writing community has been so welcoming and supportive to me, and I wouldn’t be where I am without them!

Don’t go it alone! Encouragement and enthusiasm others give is essential for success!

Amara Lynn has always been a quiet daydreamer. Coming up with characters and worlds since childhood, they eventually found an outlet in writing.They were born and raised in the Midwest USA, where they remain stuck with their spouse and two cats. They love to write about soft monsters and cryptids, grumpy enbies, and forever will be weak for the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one trope. When not writing, they are usually watching anime, playing games, and obsessing over their out of control music playlists.

You can learn more about Amara and their books on their website or follow them on Twitter, Instagram, or Tiktok.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

[amtrak12]

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Yes, fun! :D Thank you!!

Okay, I went fictional characters with this because I just don't really get obsessed with RL people outside of like a 5 year period between 2005-2010 where I followed select actors around to other shows. Also, there's only three ladies who I can confirm fit both 'obsessed' and 'ever of all time', so I've trudged through my entire childhood for every fictional lady who's helped shape my personality to round out the list.

In Chronological Order (to me not by air date):

Margaret Houlihan (M*A*S*H) -- Oh MASH reruns on the Hallmark channel, my beloved 💚 Now, I'm primarily talking about the juicy middle seasons after Potter took over command and Loretta Swit was able to wrestle some better storylines for Margaret, but there's some gems in the early years too. I've been drawn back to MASH three times as an adult and each time I get sucked deeper and deeper into both the real life history of the Korean War and the fictional character of Margaret. Do I have a thousand and one headcanons for how she handles life after the war? Yes. Am I obsessed with whatever platonic/sexual relationship she's got going on with Hawkeye? Yes. Have I plotted out what her D&D character might look like? YEP! She's a paladin :P I also believe if you examined her character through a queer lens, you'd find a trans man rather than a queer woman, but your mileage may vary.

AndrAIa (ReBoot) -- Yeah, yeah, yeah it's a cartoon, but bb 11 year old me was absolutely OBSESSED with this show, and AndrAIa was a big part of that. Look at her little capital AI in her name! 😭 25 years before corporate greed ruined the acronym, that AI was adorable!! And very clever given that she was an NPC game sprite who decided to leave her game and live as a real sprite. Her whole existence and vibe was very formative for me. I love her.

Harley Davidson Cooper (Guiding Light) -- Yes, her full name is absolutely necessary, even if no one ever used it. So, I was SUUUCH a CBS soap girlie back around 2000-2002, and I've been very nostalgic for it in the last few years. As the World Turns was my primary soap, so I figured one of my regular blorbos like Rose or Katie or Romana would be the one I miss most. But then Harley's actress Beth Ehlers popped up during my Law & Order SVU watch and I LOST MY MIND!!!!! Her face and voice instantly filled my soul with joy! So Harley gets the trophy. Even if she didn't have any stand out storylines during that era (apart from her and Gus being Very Hot), she was always my favorite character from GL.

Piper Halliwell (Charmed, original flavor) -- Technically, I had Turtle Wexler from the book The Westing Game on this list instead because I didn't remember Piper until after I'd drafted all ten slots :S But listen! That's because health problems have made my memory shitty! It is not because Piper doesn't stand up to the test of time! Ugh, I remember the show never treated Piper like she was the fan favorite and I hadn't discovered online TV forums yet so I felt so alone in my love for her :( But being on lesbian millennial Tumblr makes 14 year old me feel SO validated, because Piper is the only Halliwell sister anyone ever talks about on my dash. 💜 Congrats everyone. We were right all along.

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) -- Yeeeaaah.. we've hit the Big Three that I alluded to earlier. I was very, very gay for Lorelai (and Lauren Graham) in the latter half of my high school years, and I did not realize that until way later. She taught me how to be quicker with the comebacks and, more importantly, to marry someone who could cook instead of learning how to feed yourself. And I really took that to heart. My spouse is a fantastic cook! :) (Don't get scared for me guys! I do actually know how to cook three (3) entire meals now that I'm in my 30s :P lol)

Rose Tyler/Billie Piper (Doctor Who) -- I will list the actress here, because my love for Rose Tyler is probably split 50/50 between the character herself, and Billie Piper's charisma and hotness. She's gorgeous!!! 😍 That seemingly common question in the mid-2000s of 'Who would you kiss if you were gay?' always left me stumped until New Who aired in the states. Then, I was finally able to answer 'Billie Piper' and actually mean it. Because that's what you were supposed to do with that question, right? Take it seriously and not treat it like hyperbole? #totallystraightbehavior #swearsies Alas, it would take me two more girl crushes and interacting with genuine queer women in a femslash fandom before I recognized my feelings for what they were. But Rose was still a very significant step forward!

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) -- MY GIRL!!! My Lady of all Ladies. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I would kneel and raise my sword and swear fealty to her. MYKA FUCKING BERING, EVERYONE! 👏👏👏👏 Watching her fall in love with Helena made me realize all my girl crushes were real crushes and that I was bi. Bless her. Bless Joanne Kelly. And bless the incomparable Bering and Wells fandom. *kisses everyone on the mouth, sloppy style*

Erin Gilbert (Ghostbusters 2016) -- Look, I know that I can never get away with pretending that Erin isn't my favorite ghostbuster, but I do usually think about her in the context of her relationships! Like 8 times out of 10, when I'm headcanoning, I'm thinking about her and Abby's relationship. And if I'm not, there's a not-so-small chance I'm thinking about her relationship with Patty instead. (RIP to Holtzy who I virtually never think about outside of the foursome. Her fanbase just ruined it for me :S) But um... yeah, Erin's my favorite. I even have Pokemon parties picked out for them all. And their daemons.

Eve (Lucifer) -- Okay so I know it hasn't even been a full high school (aka 4 years) since I met Eve, so I can't really say she's someone I'll stay obsessed with forever and ever and ever. You probably don't even believe I'm obsessed with her at all given the bulk of my Lucifer talk is about Lucifer/Chloe -- but that's just cause that's where the storyline is! Trust me, Eve is my favorite character, even if she was in the least amount of episodes (RIP me). When she pops up in the background of a Deckerstar fanvid, I'm instantly distracted and have to marathon every Maze/Eve vid in my collection. I decided to use a fandom name in the first time, like, ever, when creating my Lucifer-specific Twitter account and I made it Eve themed. She's my favorite, bestest girl who can do no wrong and -- YES! -- that does include accidentally-definitely-on-purpose starting a demon mutiny that led to newborn Charlie's kidnapping. She had never been dumped before okay? First woman to ever exist and she'd never been dumped. Did you handle your first break-up well? No! I didn't think so :P

Alex Cabot (Law & Order: SVU) -- I've only know Cabot for four months, but if anything happens to her, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself -- OH WAIT! She already left me. 😭 I am in S17 now, which is like ten seasons past when she went into witness protection and barely ever came back, yet there's not an episode that goes by where I don't think about her. So, I say that counts as longevity and am sticking her on the list. This woman has Issues. Plural. Period. She makes me say shit like 'I want to dig into her brain with a fork' and it's actually an accurate metaphor for what I feel. I love her your honor... now who can I sue for emotional damages?

[coconvtfm]

i really want to write more mumu's on discord! i write any gender opposite any gender and am also open to polyamorous pairings.

under the cut you can find some stuff i'd love to write! like this if you're interested!

MUMU PLOTS

let's write some robot x human shit mixed in with alien x human and all of that. set in the year 4000 plus, let's think of what the earth has become? a liberal haven, or very conservative? are there robots who are becoming more and more like humans? have aliens joined the population? what are they like? are there different species? and how do they all interact?

superhero stuff? let's write some villains and superheroes and civilians in a city we make our own. villain falling for hero? heroes hooking up? a person who suddenly discovers their partner is the person on the front page of the newspaper, saving the world. yes.

the earth's population has dwindled during the last few decades as people living a single life has increased dramatically. the world's government has made a very brisk decision to make that population go up and has subjected all people to a dna and personality test before matching them up, in either couples or throuples. we follow people who have been matched and live in a city we create, some have had to move here from another continent and have to adapt and others hadn't expected that their test would determine that they're gay/poly, etc.

a/b/o words are my absolute favorite thing ever. we can create a pack or multiple packs, have them possibly fight or merge. we can have star-crossed lovers, arranged pairings, unusual pairings that aren't accepted by their packs, etc.

give me a group of muses who live in the 1950s! let's have them all be related/connected in some way and let's get those juicy 50s undertones. needing to get married because, whoops, she's pregnant. queer folks that can't come out. greasers vs socs. we can even venture into race relations in those times. trans peeps? let's explore it all.

a royal setting, modern or historic. we can play muses from the royal family, nobility that is in their circle, staff, etc. let's have forbidden and arranged matches, rivalries, and scandals. leggo!

a presidential setting, the president, the first spouse, the staff, all the stress and the intrigue and the tension.

let's have some gang-inspired thingies? rival gangs in a city we create... doing crimes and going wild?

a modern-day mumu that is set in a small town where the links and history goes deep. we can flesh out the connection between each muse (as in what were they like as kids, teens, young adults, etc), and we can have that long history together impact their ongoing stories.

a mumu set in the hp world? maybe we set it in the future, or way in the past - we can even use a hogwarts legacy setting if you prefer - and use the lore but create our own characters. i love aspects of blood purity, also hybrids and all that. can be set at hogwarts, but like... we can create an eighth through tenth year like a college setting or it can be set outside of that.

[earlronove]

I did this over at the ol’ twitter (template here) because it seemed like a neat idea to reflect what I’ve done. I actually did a LOT of writing this year! If you’d like to read some writing rambles and my overview of my 2022 writing adventure, you can click the keep reading! I’m very wordy!

Overall, my gut reaction is to say I didn’t do well this year because my sole focus was to get The Divine an agent. Though I did not do that (and am incredibly fed up with the entire system and how much of a dumpster fire trade publishing actually is), I do feel more emboldened to try self-publishing even though my personality may not be quite suited for it. Even self-publishing tires me out because a lot of advice I get needs you to spend money--lots of it--but it’s like, writing is already gatekept enough. I’m fucking poor! I don’t have 1000 dollars for a good editor. I barely have money for bills at this point.

At the very least, ignoring advice that expects you only to self-publish when you either have a lot of cash just hanging out, a spouse you can depend on, or just make it work I guess, self-publishing is still a very viable avenue I’m a little excited to learn a little more of.

So, that’s something! Maybe nothing will come of it, but I do feel excited to try it. I can format the inside of a book pretty well and I think I’m comfortable enough with my art to make a cover (and the cover I’m making for The Divine is amazing if I do say so myself).

Otherwise, what other writing have I done?

The biggest project was Wherever the Stars Call--my Vampires in SPACE. I had unused ideas from Vagabonds (I still need to figure out what I want to do with that since it’s basically 3 books worth of material), so I was like okay I can use those up but with what? And then it became a thread of “but what if vampires in space?!” and while largely, the focus shifted to the queer runaway leads, vampires still play an important part of the story. I adore these characters to bits and I think the story is a fun space adventure. Leaves itself open too if I ever get enough ideas for a sequel (there is some in the works but nothing that pieces together well). I’m pretty confident in this project’s commercial viability, but given my opinion on agents and the publishing world, I don’t quite know if I want to go through the crushing rejections The Divine had to go through right this second. Or even deal with the inevitable “well, one of the leads should get together with the vampire since that’s what young adult books do” or “if the leads aren’t a couple by the end, we can’t sell it” and have to change my ideas to fit whatever mold the market wants. Not that I would change either of those above, market be damned. Regardless, my big goal is to at least try which is why editing it is my #1 goal for next year to get it polished and ready.

Alongside that chonker of a project, I managed to squeeze out three short stories (I meant to do more but then two novellas turned novels happened and then so did the novella that stayed a novella). all my ghosts is my favorite only because I tried something new (way more contemporary than I usually do without anything hugely fantastical (beyond the ghosts) while also vaguely exploring queer identity and the meaninglessness of doing what you think you ought to) and I think I did a good job.

I also began the year posting The Devil in the Woods. 12 part supernatural novella dealing with disaster teens making disaster decisions concerning a demon inside the woods. Overall, I still think I failed the project because it just wasn’t perceived. I’m still not quite sure what I did wrong except maybe my audience really isn’t into that kind of story (contemporary leaning with vague horror vibes). I like the story a lot and I’m learning more trying to get an e-book version of it (images do not play nice). Hopefully next year, I’ll get an e-book version out and a physical copy for myself at the very least.

Then came the two novellas that turned into short novels in their own right. Angel Wings follows Asher as he gains angel wings and has to maneuver through what society expects of him with said wings and how much he wants to break the mold he’s being forced into. Angry gay breaking things, the novel. I liked writing it because it felt cathartic with Asher being frustrated and angry at his perceived place in the world and how much more he believes he is in spite of it. No one wanted to beta-read it, but that’s okay! It’s categorized under “Weird Novels Ronove Loves That No One Else Might” and I’m largely okay with that. Maybe one day it’ll have its day to shine! 

The second novella turned short novel was Star Scourge. Last year, I wrote Light of the World which was about Nayir and his quest with Ara, a little piece of a god that sought to end the world, to maybe finish ending the world. While the description is a downer, the novel ended up being hopeful as Nayir pieces himself back together and as Ara sees the world her god tried to drown and how wrong that might have been. It still needs its editing finished, but as a whole I loved it. Then, here comes Star Scourge which takes a similar premise, localizes it, and puts the one who can end the world at the center. Sol is a fallen star who is prophesied to save the world just like all the fallen stars before him. Except, he recognizes it’s a cycle and one that will not break if he follows the path all the other fallen stars have taken. So, like Ara, he plans to finish ending the world. Unlike Light of the World, this one is a somber downer where Sol is faced again and again with reasons why the world really doesn’t want saving or that it’s simply not worth it. It’s setting is a world literally steps away from being wiped out altogether and how Sol interacts with that and his own desires. It was incredibly interesting to write (I wanted to say fun, but that’s a weird word to use, haha) and I think a good exercise after writing Light of the World where literally, hope was still there. Star Scourge doesn’t have that. A sour band of heroes trying to do their best by the world alongside the star who is secretly planning to end it. Sometimes, we just write sadder things and it’s okay!

Then, finally, I began to write The Magician & the Bard because I’ve always wanted to write a sword & sorcery kind of romp where the fate of the world wasn’t the focus of the fantasy, rather what the characters did within this world I created. It has been a lot of fun to plan (I have so many hi-jinks they can get up to) and it’s been a blast writing and getting to know these characters further. I missed writing pure fantasy and I like that their adventure is a bit more upbeat in general. And though I feel it’s having the same problems as Devil in the Woods at being perceived when I post it, I think more people are keen on reading it! I definitely don’t feel as down after finishing posting the first arc as I did with Devil in the Woods. I just want to write more and throw Vahn and Hawke at any silly idea I can! I have one more arc fleshed out and another one with the broad strokes written down and a bunch of one line ideas to throw them at. One idea even has a dragon!

All in all though, 2022 I think really shows that at heart, I love writing. In the fact of total rejection for the Divine, I’m still writing. And I don’t think that’s going to change. I have so many half-baked ideas just waiting for their chance to shine that I hope I can really get going on in 2023.

Thank you for reading! I felt very pensive about my writing journey this year and I think it helped to write this all out.